Is this a scammer?

[rwd123]

3. Mindset. Go back and absorb Pat's posts. I don't think you're mentally ready and need to "get your house in order".

I am as blunt as a shovel.

You appear to be a desperate man clinging to a fantasy. Giving money to someone you have never met? No serious plans to travel? Generally clueless about communicating with this woman?

You are setting yourself up for a world of pain. Pat has given you sound advice but I don't think you're (currently) equipped for international dating. It's not for everyone.

You can't travel for six months, but then only for a week or so - and then having to wait at least another six months to travel? How many women have you dated in the last 12 months? You're like an obese man trying to make the Olympic trials. Fat chance... you need a reality check.

[Trenchcoat]

My situation is that I am starting a new job.  It's a federal contracting job and I was suppose to start either the last week in July or first week in August.  With this new job, I have to save up vacation time and that's why I was thinking of visiting in January. 

I do not want to get scammed or get locked in of sending money because what if I visit and then we don't have any chemistry?  And yes, the child would be a great burden but I am ok with it as long as we have a strong bond.  I really will accept the child as my own if everything works out.

Is there any way you could get out there this week?

I think it's starting to sound like the mistake has been made in terms of not going out there sooner if possible or no staying off FSU dating until in a position to take time off. It might still go the distance, some do but I wouldn't worry about the scammer side of things unless she asks you for money. It's normal to send a few gifts to a woman for birthday and International Woman's Day (next year) you don't have to but it she would likely feel better about you though it's no assurance that she wouldn't go off with someone else as until a marriage proposal is made its not a done deal.

It's why myself I don't go messaging women until I know for sure that I can visit in a month or two's time. Until then any messaging is just taking up air time needlessly. Sure some try and build a rapport with a woman over that time but this woman is giving out the signals that she wants a provider on hand and fast.

[RussianWomenOnly]

Trenchcoat:  I wish I can go out there right now soon but my job situation I just can't.  However, I do have a few questions:

1.  Of course, before I go out there, I should already have her address? 
2.  What about bring cash?  I was thinking bring $1500 to $2000 USD for a 10 day maybe 2 full week trip.
3.  What about connecting flights? Let's say I stop in France or Germany or Turkey, will I be able to board connecting flights without Visa?
4.  Our conversation on Viber would be good documentation when/if applying for K1 visa?

[Patagonie]

My situation is that I am starting a new job.  It's a federal contracting job and I was suppose to start either the last week in July or first week in August.  With this new job, I have to save up vacation time and that's why I was thinking of visiting in January. 

I do not want to get scammed or get locked in of sending money because what if I visit and then we don't have any chemistry?  And yes, the child would be a great burden but I am ok with it as long as we have a strong bond.  I really will accept the child as my own if everything works out.

 
Considering what RWD and Trench wrote, I suppose that most people here on this forum will now ask themselves two questions: 
1/ If you still have two or three weeks left why are not kicking your ass to fly to Moldova?   
2/ Why are you writing to FSU women if you don't have a serious proposition to visit them?   
Do you know that this concept of long correspondence is anchored in the 18/19th century when people needed weeks sometimes months before visiting someone else on the globe? So they could write each other for months, sometimes for one, two or three years.
This time is over now.
 
I will give you an example of what happens on the field, the field is by definition where the real-life happens when men and women collide in their emotions and their sexuality.
 
My last GF from Kiev was a very beautiful lady, and she published a profile on Tinder. 
In the next 10 days, she started a correspondence with a guy from Central Europe. And got a contact from me telling I will be in her city in two weeks (less than this maybe 12 days). And probably tons, TONS of other contacts I don't know. 
While she was still corresponding with the other guy, I came. It matched, but she has already accepted the other guy to invite her to his entirely own dime in his country (all paid, airfare, hotel, and so on...) i tak dale. All of this happened in probably less than 3 weeks and so she got two challengers with two serious propositions.
How do I know? She told me. 
She went to visit him but it didn't match even if I highly suspect that she also tested him sexually. It happened probably 3 weeks maximum after her profile had been published on Badoo.
The next trip was with me to another country, she paid her airfare and we fucked hard this time and started a real relationship. This trip (her second) was discussed and scheduled the fourth or maybe the beginning of the fifth week after she had published her profile.
 
Do you consider, in this example, that there is enough room for a guy who is just writing, postpones possible travel, and decides that "he could come in January". 
On a scale of 10 tell me where are the chances of this guy?
Tell me your number, I will give you mine and the chances of success of a Visit One (because it's likely you don't know, and I own it from an American who was a professional matchmaker and spent a lot of time in FSU also).

[Patagonie]

Trenchcoat:  I wish I can go out there right now soon but my job situation I just can't.  However, I do have a few questions:

1.  Of course, before I go out there, I should already have her address? 
2.  What about bring cash?  I was thinking bring $1500 to $2000 USD for a 10 day maybe 2 full week trip.
3.  What about connecting flights? Let's say I stop in France or Germany or Turkey, will I be able to board connecting flights without Visa?
4.  Our conversation on Viber would be good documentation when/if applying for K1 visa?

 
3/ of course save everything or activate the automatic backup on Viber.
2/ cash, absolutely necessary. For your safety, keep credit cards for emergencies. I would plan at least $2000/$2500 for two weeks.
1/ No, no, you need the address of your flat. 
4/ We still don't know where she is living. I already asked you to question her, more important than the birthday of her children. Because if she lives in Transnistria, it's unlikely you gonna cross the border. 
Do you know in which city she is living, I, unfortunately, suspect you still don't know, which is of the HIGHEST PRIORITY, HIGHEST PRIORITY, because it will change everything and maybe forbids you to visit her in her city. 
To your discharge, some girls are lying about their location to push you to commit emotionally while they are not "visitable" (Lugansk, Donetsk, and even Crimea Oblast before the war especially). 
May you put a name on a map or not?

[Patagonie]

I will tell you another example of a woman I do know. 
I met her in 2009. 
To make it short it didn't happen but we kept in touch.
In 2014 I married and send to her some photos. She was an 8.7, 35, still single losing her time in stupid relationships.
As she got the photos she answered and wrote somewhere in her letter "I am jealous". When a woman wrote you this, she feels it.
   
15 months after I recontacted her. In 15 months she had left her country, got married, and had had a baby. 
I suppose that my marriage acted like a trigger in her and she decided to definitively change everything in her life. 
I am very happy for her, a child was what she needed to blossom. And probably a good man (hope so of course). 
 
When people are ready to commit and if she is a pretty woman, it's likely the gem will not stay too long in the market. 
You are in the market or you are out of the international dating market (I do not speak about the local dating market).
Keyboard Romeos are the last merchandise on the market. They come like unsold stocks. 
 
Hope that you are really capable to digest this concept in the future.

[krimster2]

Listen RWO…

you made a “rookie” mistake

if you and a friend were duck hunting
and you had your decoys all set in the water
when suddenly…
½ mile away, you see some ducks flyin towards ya, and then YOU START SHOOTING!!!

your friend would look at you and shake his head…
“YOU SHOT TOO EARLY”

that’s what you did here…

you shoulda waited until you were closer to your best available date for traveling before trolling dating sites
so as to not wait so long to make contact

see, women lookin for a sponsor don’t wanna wait around
cuz time is NOT on their side

I mean, what if because of waiting for you, she loses out on another potential sponsor...

if she gets a bird in the hand first
then you’re gonna be the bird that stays in the bush

[Trenchcoat]

Trenchcoat:  I wish I can go out there right now soon but my job situation I just can't.  However, I do have a few questions:

1.  Of course, before I go out there, I should already have her address? 
2.  What about bring cash?  I was thinking bring $1500 to $2000 USD for a 10 day maybe 2 full week trip.
3.  What about connecting flights? Let's say I stop in France or Germany or Turkey, will I be able to board connecting flights without Visa?
4.  Our conversation on Viber would be good documentation when/if applying for K1 visa?

I would never take that much cash, not unless you are wealthy that it wouldn't mean anything to lose it. Instead I focus on credit cards, I have one where there is zero transaction fee, I use that one to buy stuff and to get out extra money when needed, I then pay it off as soon as I get back. Any slight extra cost over exchanging your dollars for the local currency is better than risking all your money going missing. Credit cards aren't as lucrative a target as it's all PIN protection and they can be cancelled quickly, remember to take details to cancel quickly - an increasing amount of Credit card providers are allowing customers to cancel their credit cards online now and through their apps, very, very handy. I would of course take a small amount of money as Moldova will be similar to Ukraine in being a cash economy (not everywhere you go of course) but it's always handy to have a few notes on you, I wouldn't go more than $500 worth for the time you are planning to be there for. Like I say with cards it allows you the option of getting more out later anyway. You'll likely get a slightly better transfer rate at the exchange booths in town or at the airport than through machines but they're likely won't be much in it.

Main thing is that you don't want to just take cash, get it nicked and then be left high and dry for the week without any means of getting further money. With this in mine I usually separate out cash & credit cards and take at least two credit cards each in a different place, say one on myself and one in luggage. So if one gets nicked then hopefully I will still have the other that hasn't been nicked to fall back on. That might sounded overkill/paranoid but when things start going downhill abroad anywhere they can go downhill fast. Remember you haven't got your home around the corner to pop home to, to get sorted out if a problem arises. Also take a copy of your passport in case you need Embassy assistance. I also take at least two paper copies of flight & hotel bookings incase problem with my mobile (flat battery, gets nicked, etc) Remember you have to get flight back too so you'll need flight details for that.

In most cases none of the above precautions will come into play most times things work out fine but it's always best to do those precautions to avoid your trip ending up in a bad place and an early end to it.

Her address I never bother with unless of course she had invited me there. Few will before they have actually met you as you may turn out to be a nutter for all she knows and she won't want to be giving her address out to strangers as otherwise you could turn up even if not welcomed to do so for all she knows. If you don't get on when you visit her address won't be needed if you do get on then she'll give it to you then/take you there. Asking for her address now might freak her out, you could say that you want to send her something then she'll let you know where to send it if/when you want to send something.

Flights I'm not sure if the country in question will be able to say on that one, I don't think visa's are normally needed for transfer flights as you stay in the airport terminal building and just travel across. However be careful if your connection flight goes from another terminal building. Turkey from what I recall don't require a visa for connection flight but again check. I went through Istanbul to Cyprus a few years back without needing a visa for Turkey. I'm a UK citizen so again US may vary.

The visa again being a UK citizen someone in the US will be able to advise better for the US. For the UK it is photos of you all together doing stuff, possibly Viber messaging might help so long as nothing concerning comes up, i.e intention to stay longer etc. Her having a child may add to concerns for a tourist visa that she might not return so a Fiancee visa might be easier but again US guys on here will know better on that one.

[Boethius]

I will not send money. this is a fundamental rule, never send money even in wartime (Moldova is not a warzone).
You should understand the rules.
Until you have a relationship with her, in the FSU area, you are perfectly allowed, entitled to do NOTHING for her.
This is absolutely and perfectly respectable and this is totally understood by FSU women.   
   
If you send some money, even 50 bucks, and don't fuck her, you will come here to tell us about her to be a scammer.
If you send this money and don't fuck her you will have this bitter taste in your mouth forever that you have been played a fool and even if in the end it was just circumstances that didn't make the story you will have this doubt in your minds that she used you.
maybe in four months and this doubt will mine you and last forever, it will persist for your international dating in the future. 
 
This is what western men don't understand with money, unnecessary generosity bites back in the future. They play money for many reasons
and later are wounded in their self-esteem. You should think about it before playing the benefactor.

Although I agree that men should not fund a woman they've never met, or even a woman they have, I don't think sending a gift is a death knell.  It just shows thoughtfulness and kindness. 

Just after I met the other half, he asked if I could buy him a winter coat.  In those days, finding a good, short men's coat in Kyiv was nearly impossible.  On my return, I purchased a $400 coat (which was a lot of money for me then, as I was a student), and mailed it to him (because there were all sorts of complications with bringing it into the country).  Somehow, we managed to overcome that "hurdle" of me spending money on him.

Would I send money regularly to someone I've never met?  No.  But if I believed we had a "connection", even only online, and I wanted to send a small something, I would not hesitate to send a small gift, even before a physical meeting. 

[Patagonie]

Although I agree that men should not fund a woman they've never met, or even a woman they have, I don't think sending a gift is a death knell.  It just shows thoughtfulness and kindness. 

Just after I met the other half, he asked if I could buy him a winter coat.  In those days, finding a good, short men's coat in Kyiv was nearly impossible.  On my return, I purchased a $400 coat (which was a lot of money for me then, as I was a student), and mailed it to him (because there were all sorts of complications with bringing it into the country).  Somehow, we managed to overcome that "hurdle" of me spending money on him.

Would I send money regularly to someone I've never met?  No.  But if I believed we had a "connection", even only online, and I wanted to send a small something, I would not hesitate to send a small gift, even before a physical meeting.

That was a big sum these days Bo!
Hat up! 
 
We bought a fur coat for my ex-wife, she was absolutely superb at wearing it, and then she realizes very cold days were very rare in France, and moreover that was out fashioned in my country.

[Boethius]

Yes, it was a huge sum to me.  He wore that coat for a decade.  He even wore it when he came here, but I threw it out.


I think sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith.  Of course, one must be careful, and not fund someone.  But I think sending a few dollars for a special occasion, with someone you are trying to build a connection with, is not a mistake.  I know Ukrainians think it is crazy.   But, you shouldn't conform to their FSU cultural norms.

[Patagonie]

Yes, it was a huge sum to me.  He wore that coat for a decade.  He even wore it when he came here, but I threw it out.


I think sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith.  Of course, one must be careful, and not fund someone.  But I think sending a few dollars for a special occasion, with someone you are trying to build a connection with, is not a mistake.  I know Ukrainians think it is crazy.   But, you shouldn't conform to their FSU cultural norms.

You wrote it. 
The problem is ... you are from FSU 100%. 
So you probably have a better feeling than any. You have mixed up two cultures.
Me, basically three. 
So you can retrieve the good and bad and make your own recipe.
 
But most men who come here for the first time 
1/ don't have any international upbringing
 2/ have no clues about women or little experience.
Because of the western culture and their personal history.
So they don't have a LECTURE of what's going on and why it's going this way.   
So contrary to you, they don't have the ability to distinguish when it's gray and not white, sometimes they cannot even make the difference between black and white, so explain to them (especially Americans) that 80% of Russian people (poll) believe that things are grey.This is an advanced concept that should be introduced slowly and with precaution.
   
And this concept is very disturbing for westerners.
 
So I prefer to maintain a line of communication for their safety that is binary and very easy to understand and follow.
No previous meeting, no real relationship = never send any money.

[krimster2]

here's the FIRST of MANY coats/jackets/sweaters I have purchased for my wife (with matching leather gloves!)
purchased at the big outdoor market in Kyiv...
a couple of days after I first met her

she went sledding with me down the biggest hill in Kyiv
the second time I met her

and after third date we got naked together in the banya at the Dniro Hotel
and then swam naked in the little pool after...

wife has a "smokin HOT village farm girl" body and is 6'1" tall!!!
how could I say "nyet"

does everything for me but breast feeds me,
because I drink only lowfat dairy...

[2tallbill]

I disagree with the idea of just going to FSU to meet the desired gal (or gals)
without first worrying (considering) details about children, ex spouses, etc.

The thing is that you will never know the exact details when you
are just a pen pal. You go over there curls some toes and rock her
world then suddenly all the details become available and important
to discuss.

FSUW almost always assume that their ex who abandoned the family
and never paid support doesn't give a sh!t but in the end they do. You
can't sort that crap out from afar. You need a local lawyer to help.

If things don't work out on the trip then you worried for nothing.

[Trenchcoat]

I think for RWO if he can ask her why her marriage broke up? and she was willing to tell him that could be quite revealing. If the answer is that it was over money woes as in he couldn't support the family (her & child) and he ended up leaving or she flung him out then that could be useful for RWO to know. It will tell him where he must not fail in a relationship with her. If her last man turned out not to be a good provider but RWO can be a good provider then he may have his niche in which to hold the relationship together with her.

If it was because one or both cheated on the other then of course that may be a harder situation for RWO to hold on in there.

All about what makes her tick and whether RWO can fulfill that brief I reckon.

[krimster2]

RWO,
A really COOL thing for you to learn about and embrace…

Meest
http://us.meest.com/services/service/delivery-to-moldova

They ship to Moldova!!!
I have shipped TONS to Ukraine and Russia with Meest, 100% dependable!!!

shop at whole foods, buy gourmet non-perishable food items, crab meat, premium tuna
add nice matching cashmere sweaters for her and child...

and beeswax candles, gourmet collection samplers of tea and coffee from a coffee shop
AND believe it not,
a couple of cans of Hormel HAM!!
the kind you open/unwind with a "key"

pack it and ship it with Meest

total price + Meest shipping maybe $500-$800

your immediate problem solved...

Next One??

[RussianWomenOnly]

Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen.  With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is.  They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process.  I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date.  I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go.  If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her).  It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time.  I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship.  I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova.  I rather give her the flexibility because you never know.  I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.

From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship.  Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to.  But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above:  What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova.  I am thinking $500-$1000 usd.  Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO".  Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian.  But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me.  I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting.  By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul.  Yes, $1000 and that's it.  No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no. 

I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000.  If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore.  If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious.  If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.   

[Boethius]

Don’t send her that much money. It’s a mistake.

Russia isn’t likely to invade Moldova in the near future.

As I posted, if you want to send her a gift, send a very small amount, $40-50.

[rwd123]

Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen.  With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is.  They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process.  I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date.  I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go.  If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her).  It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time.  I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship.  I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova.  I rather give her the flexibility because you never know.  I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.

From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship.  Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to.  But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above:  What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova.  I am thinking $500-$1000 usd.  Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO".  Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian.  But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me.  I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting.  By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul.  Yes, $1000 and that's it.  No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no. 

I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000.  If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore.  If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious.  If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.

You are a train wreck in motion. Spend that thousand dollars on coaching or therapy. Honestly, you are a danger to yourself with your current mindset.

[Patagonie]

Don’t send her that much money. It’s a mistake.

Russia isn’t likely to invade Moldova in the near future.
 
As I posted, if you want to send her a gift, send a very small amount, $40-50.

I am with Bo on this one, they NEED to take Odessa before controlling Transnistria.
Good luck to take Odessa, it's one of the biggest cities of Ukraine, there is 2000 km of tunnel belowand they have Harpoon AGM 84 and local Neptune while the Russian forces are limited due to the Montreux Convention in case of amphibian
assault....
So you can keep your money for months...

[Trenchcoat]

Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen.  With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is.  They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process.  I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date.  I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go.  If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her).  It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time.  I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship.  I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova.  I rather give her the flexibility because you never know.  I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.

From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship.  Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to.  But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above:  What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova.  I am thinking $500-$1000 usd.  Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO".  Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian.  But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me.  I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting.  By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul.  Yes, $1000 and that's it.  No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no. 

I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000.  If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore.  If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious.  If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.

I agree with other posters RWO and pretty much all posters here will say the same, DON'T SEND MONEY, even voluntarily. It will almost certainly wreck any chance of a relationship with this woman. That may sound strange to you I can imagine but FSU culture and dating work in a certain way and that is what members here know about. Essentially if you send money you are likely creating a bad situation, you are creating a scammer where one currently likely doesn't exist. She'll get the $1000 you sent her and think 'that was easy and I don't even really know him' which will lead to thoughts off, 'I wonder how much more he may be good for, I'll press him and see'. It's almost inevitable that she will ask for more as it sets up that way of thinking in her mind. The excuses she can come out with are endless and you become little more than a bank account for her. Whenever the money stops so does the communication. She'll lose respect for you, that you are so easily taken and your chances of a relationship will be gone. You will have created your own problem and demise of any chance of a relationship with this woman.

You see how it works? It's not personal to you the same would happen if any of us sent money in such a situation. She is not asking for money so don't turn it into that situation. She's survived so far all these years in Moldova so she'll survive many more. Russia are highly unlikely to invade as they are well and truly tied up in the Donbass and struggling there, it makes no sense for them to bring more problems upon themselves when they have yet to deal with their current one and struggling at it. If it did occur there are plenty of EU nations right next door with big well funded Aid Organisations, they're well set up to deal with any problem so don't get suckered into feeling that you have to get involved. This woman will survive and do ok just as she is in Moldova, she is just after a better lifestyle & opportunities for her child.

So yeah, definitely go with the gifts option as it avoids that paycheck mentality being set up in her mind. One technique that you can do if you have to wait a long time before seeing her (assuming the job comes through) is to let her more into your life, show her your lifestyle, way of living, what you do, hobbies, interests and day to day activities. It's what some members have done here in the past and it can work. She becomes more assured of who you are and buys into your lifestyle. End of the day she would rather have a better idea of who she is going with and what your lifestyle may be like than some guy who ends up saying 'come with Me' and her not knowing what to expect. It may not be easy letting her into your life at such an early stage but with the amount of time you have on hand before meeting it's probably your best option I think. While it needs to be fairly natural avoid it being too boring of course. She will probably regard it with interest what goes on around you. Other members in the past have reported that it can help when you finally meet as it can help a lot with bonding, no guarantees of course but may help what you have going go the distance.

[Trenchcoat]

If you have the time this is a good watch:

http://drama.uktv.co.uk/shows/les-miserables/

Not Russian, based in France and the drama rather than singing version (preferable to me). Anyhow about almost mid way through it shows you the problem of what occurs when you send money to strangers/almost strangers and the thought processes that get set up. It may help you to understand better what is being said here.

[2tallbill]

If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her). If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious.  If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.

1. Stop with the testing
2. Stay in an apartment not a hotel.
3. Stop saying you can't do something, figure out how to do it instead.
4. Ask the mods to remove her photo or some idiot here will find her
and contact her.
5. Why do you not know basic information about her, like her address?
6. Don't post her address here.

[Trenchcoat]

RWO, just out of interest do you hope to have children with this lady?

[Patagonie]

Very good information thanks to all the gentlemen.  With my new job, (Offer was already made) I do not know when my first day of work is.  They told me maybe end of July, maybe mid-August during the interview process.  I emailed them today asking if there is a firm start date.  I know that if I go to Moldova it will be a $3000-$4000 usd trip depending on when I go.  If I go in the next few days, it will be $4000 ($1500 plane ticket, $500 hotel, and the rest of the $2000 will be food/shopping/gifts and whatever is left, I will give to her).  It's not about the money, it's just the timing with my job and once my job starts, I will not be able to go until I build up some vacation time.  I can't send her money just because I will not know if she is a scammer or is she a real woman looking for relationship.  I want to buy/send her a birthday gift but then again, sometimes cash money is the best because she may need clothes, or she may need food, or she wants to save some money just in case if Russians invades and she needs to leave Moldova.  I rather give her the flexibility because you never know.  I am someone that if someone wants to get me something, I rather just get cash so I can do whatever I want with it.

From what I can tell in the last 3 weeks since I met her and texting and video chatting, I think she is a real woman looking for relationship.  Of course, I do believe I am not the only man she is talking to.  But, I do want to send her some money (She has not ask for money) just in case of the last reason I posted above:  What if she needs to leave Moldova if the war spill over into Moldova.  I am thinking $500-$1000 usd.  Yes, there will be lots of posts from you guys saying "NO".  Let's say she is scammer, but if that money can save her and her family or at least get them to somewhere safe, I will just chalk it up to being a good christian.  But if she is real, then this gesture will speak volumes to her about me.  I mean, honestly, if it weren't for my job, I was going to spend at least $3000 to $4000 visiting.  By sending her $1000, I am showing her I'm serious. Furthermore, she will be very happy and if she is real, when I do visit her in January, I know I can win her heart and soul.  Yes, $1000 and that's it.  No more until I visit AND we have great chemistry AND we are committed to each other, etc. However, if she receives the $1000 and wants more money before I visit then of course I will say no. 

I just see it as spend $4000 right now or just $1000.  If she is scammer and ask for more money then yes, I will not pursue her anymore.  If she is real, I hope this shows her I'm serious.  If she declines the money, then I will really know she's real and I will do everything I can to meet and marry this girl.

I understand your concerns with your job.
 
Ok I will dissect what you have written to show all the inappropriate beliefs that this western civilization (not really your fault) has given to you.
 
The initial rookie mistake you made as Krim wrote is to have shot some ducks with a nice rifle but you forgot the bullets at home. That was the initial mistake that pushed you into such a situation. 
 
And now you would address the problem with money.
 
You want to send her some money. For which reasons?
The only reason is related to you and your image. Image of a good Christian, the image of the serious guy who speaks volumes to her about you. After you make a trade with yourself, if I had traveled I would have paid $4000 so I can drop $1000 on her not a bad deal in the end.
You wrote, "because of the $1000 she will be very happy". Yes in her situation $1000 will make her happy, everybody will be happy with 3 months of wage in their pocket. But the problem is that she will think you are a fool also.
 
How do you know that you can win her heart and soul? Many women would discard you because of your smell, because of how you stand, because of how you move, or how you are dressed. What is your superpower to avoid this?
 
The way you are writing this is quite interesting. So a relationship is only for you when you can win her heart and soul? It doesn't mind, it's no interest that SHE works to win your heart and soul?
I would prefer you to write "I would like to travel and know how she can win my heart and my soul", far far better. 
 
No, no that's damned important because the day you reverse everything and think seriously, quietly, what a woman is doing to win you, YOU. Your relationships will be changed forever.
You are still in the position of the guy who, by his sole and unique conquest will bring her as a toy to your country.
You want her, but maybe you should worry more about "does she want me, and what is she doing to make this relationship work?
 
This is a typical western attitude to rush in a woman, blindly, rush for a marriage to get her asap, splash the maximum of money, impress her and remove her asap from the dating market because the dating competition makes a lot of westerners uncomfortable.
 
The trophy chase in international dating does include a lot of fast divorces. We had plenty of stories like this on this forum.
A couple is about TWO people who work together in the same direction.
   
You should worry more about "what are the red flags and the NO that will make me discard this woman?" rather than just focussing on the final trophy.
 
Is she REALLY interested in me? Better than spending all your energy showing her how HIGH you are interested in her and doing it blindly.
 
You don't have to win her heart and her soul, she has to make halfway, because if not, it's not worth a penny.