Large age difference

[jb]

Elen

I'm sure it has been discussed over there many times, but perhaps you should start a thread on the subject yourself.  You should be sure to come back and tell us what you learn on the subject.

[Elen]

What for?

  The only one thing I would want to know is what to do with such husband after 20 years in marriage.And I doubt there is any persone there (or here) who would share such life experience with me

And besides what an odd practice to discuss the same questions in males' and females' boards.? Remind me about men's and women' parts in muslims houses

[Bruno]

[line]
The only one thing I would want to know is what to do with such husband after 20 years in marriage.
[line]


Change each week the flower on his tomb :?... and enjoy the heritage with a young american gigolo  who love old woman for his money ...

[Elen]

who love old woman for his money ...

yeah and keep fighting on some board trying to prove everybody a marriage with big ages difference is normal and my young boyfriend just happy with me :D

[Fiorella]

 What Elen and Kvnna do not want to acknowledge is that there are many sucessful AM/RW mariages with an age difference of 15 to 20 years than they care to admit to. For the most part men in the late 30's and early 40's are generally (hopefully) mature enough to understand the wants, needs and desires of their RW. Most of the men in this age group have already had at least one failed marrage and are looking for something different in women from the FSU. Normally (again hopefully) these men will have a bit more disposable income than men in their mid 20's and have a more stable job/income structure. Additionally this group of men should have a better idea of what they want in a woman who will be their best friend, lover and maybe mother to their child. 

 As I have said before my lady and I have a 19 year age difference and like any relationship we have had our share of ups and downs. Through it all we wanted to make our relationship work, with good communication, mutual respect and a healthy amount of love and understanding our relationship has become so much stronger over these past 5 years.

 Could I have found a similar lady closer to my own age? Most likely but why should I compromise when I can have it all. A young, beautiful, sexy, intelligent lady who love me with all of her heart. What else can a man ask for?

 As fr as I am concerned our age difference is one of the factors at makes our relationship work.

  

Here we go again - if you could read women's forum you could see that your financial situation and your sitizenship is only factors that make you, old guys, attractive for young russian/ukrainian women. Also, you don't want to see that women are not such different - russian women use to change very much after some years in the West. And look same as american/european women.

[Fiorella]

http://www.russianwomenabroad.com

This is a good place to start.

Yeah, especially Hot Line!

By the way - I am a member there - I wonder what is your wife's nick? May be I know her.

[jb]

russian women use to change very much after some years in the West. And look same as american/european women.

This is absolutely true.  Women are still women, no matter where they were born.  Other than the cute accent, my wife is now as much an American woman as any other walking down the street or strolling tha Mall.  You men keep forgetting, while we were out climbing trees and playing baseball, the girls were busy going to "Little Girl School" where they majored in subjects like "Shopping", "Male Manipulation", "Verbal Castration", "Guilt Trips", and "How To Properly Train A Man".

They are indeed the same no matter where they come from.  If you are under the impression that only a woman from the FSU can make you happy, then you are going to be very dissapointed in the long haul.  Your money and American citizenship might buy you someone a little younger and a bit prettier, but under the skin, they are all the same.

[300spartans]

Elen, 

 Why are you so confrontational? Why are you angry that some western men marry Russian women many years younger than them? Has life in general passed you by, perhaps because of your personality? Are you perhaps older, or less attractive than the women who are successful in attracting Western men?

 Why do you shoot the messenger? The USA and its citizens are not responsible for the mess your country got into in the 20^th Century. Until 1941 the USA was isolationist. Communism was a most dreadful failure in the Soviet Union, with Stalin brutally murdering tens of millions of the best and often most intelligent citizens. 

Elen, the world is not fair. Get used to it. In particular, Russia is not a fair place. The USA also is not very fair by western European standards.

I am marrying a Ukrainian woman twenty plus years younger than me. She has not bulked up in the west and will not be doing so, unlike many others. She acknowledges my financial situation as important to her as being part of my attraction.

As a counter point, consider Berlin in 1946. Attractive young German women would sleep with GI's for nylons, cigarettes and chocolate. Many marriages resulted also. This situation would enrage you no doubt, and it seems unfair to me as well that the German women were in such a plight. Yet was the USA responsible for their plight, or was it the choice of the adult population in Germany in electing Hitler to power democratically in 1933? The Western conquerors of the German armies also starved almost one million German prisoners of war in the years 1945-46, whilst sleeping with their women. 

In the Soviet Union, a small number of bullyboys and hungry fools backed the wrong horse in 1917 and afterwards. Is that the fault of the west or the USA in particular? Winston Churchill for one tried his darndest to unseat Lenin. Ukrainians resisted the Soviet invasion and paid a heavy price. In one hundred years the Tsarist secret police killed perhaps 10,000 Russians. Stalin killed that many citizens each day during some years of the 1930's. The ongoing injustices in Russia and Moscow nowadays are largely the result of a few idealistic fools from your grandparent's generation. Why blame Westerners for the current limited choices for some FSU women?

[Fiorella]

[user=150]300spartans[/user] wrote:

I am marrying a Ukrainian woman twenty plus years younger than me. She has not bulked up in the west and will not be doing so, unlike many others. She acknowledges my financial situation as important to her as being part of my attraction.

How can you be sure if you are marrying??? Will you say the same after she get her permanent GC?

In the Soviet Union, a small number of bullyboys and hungry fools backed the wrong horse in 1917 and afterwards. Is that the fault of the west or the USA in particular? Winston Churchill for one tried his darndest to unseat Lenin. Ukrainians resisted the Soviet invasion and paid a heavy price. In one hundred years the Tsarist secret police killed perhaps 10,000 Russians. Stalin killed that many citizens each day during some years of the 1930's. The ongoing injustices in Russia and Moscow nowadays are largely the result of a few idealistic fools from your grandparent's generation. Why blame Westerners for the current limited choices for some FSU women?

[/size][/font]WHAT ukrainians resisted??? Ukraine was never independent country and even in World war there was lots of fashists spys and servants between ukrainians.

[Kvinna]

 insane asylum! after 2WW they'll recall Куликовскую битву!

[jb]

By the way - I am a member there - I wonder what is your wife's nick? May be I know her.

I believe she posts there as "Druza"

[Photo Guy]

Elen,
That's a good question.
What does she do with me when I'm 80 and she's
only 56? Or if I fall apart early at age 70 when she will
be only 46.

I guess there are basically two choices:

1- She eventually gets tired of my inactivity or bad health and
    decides to find a younger man. ..Divorce.  

2- She is a loyal devoted wife and decides to stay
    with me, out of principle, even though she's bored
    and unhappy. It's not so bad, because she'll inherit
    my car and condo, 401k, and whatever. She also realizes
    our children have grown fond of me.   :?

3- She is a loyal wife and has worked all of these years to
     keep the marriage vital, interesting, and full of love.
     She gladly stays with me and helps me with my bottle
     of oxygen and wheel chair. We can still touch each other
     in the right way.    

I guess I meant 'three' choices.
We hope for scenario #3.  As we sink into a stuttering mature
oblivion, we reminisce about the decade or two of life
with the ultimate woman, an angelic woman from the FSU.
No other woman compares with her. There is nothing like her inner
and outer beauty. A few short years with her, is worth more
than diamonds or gold.   ...Somebody stop me.       -doug

[TigerPaws]

300spartans,

 Sounds to like you hit the nail right on the head about Elen "life in general passed you by, perhaps because of your personality? Are you perhaps older, or less attractive than the women who are successful in attracting Western men?"

 Face it Elen the vast majority of AM are going to the FSU because far to many AW's are for the most part psychotic bitches. Additionally the feminist movement has convinced far too many AW that they do not need a man in their life anymore that a full time well paid career is a good substitute for children, family and a loving relationship. 

 What is wrong with a man wanting to be with a beautiful, sexy, intelligent lady who is 10, 15 or 20 years younger than himself anyway, as long as the lady is happy with the relationship. I have given numerious examples of many happy AM/RW couples with an average difference of over 15 years who have been together for almost 5 years now ( I am speaking of the men in my work crew of course). What is wrong with a man wanting to build a relationship and family with a younger lady from the FSU especially if the ladies from that part of the world have a better attitude towards family and marrage than the women here?

 To me it sounds from your rants like you are more the typical angry American woman, what is the reason for your all of your anger towards American men?

 As for the RW's becoming Americanized, I am sorry but you are wrong at least from my experience with my lady and observing the other AM/RW couples we know.

 




 

 

[TigerPaws]

Here we go again - if you could read women's forum you could see that your financial situation and your sitizenship is only factors that make you, old guys, attractive for young russian/ukrainian women. Also, you don't want to see that women are not such different - russian women use to change very much after some years in the West. And look same as american/european women.

 

 Well lets see, when my lady arrived here in April of 2000 she was 55kg, now she is 51kg, she is turning 30 in a few months and she is still asked for ID whenever we go out for dinner and a drink or tries to purchase aome wine (actually she looks a bit younger now than when she first arrived). My lady always dresses up a bit before we go anywhere and will never leave the house without at least some make-up and fixing here hair.

 You say most RW's will look the same as American/European women after they have been here for a while. Hell girl if more American/European women looked and acted as my lady dose (and her Russian girl friends) then there would be no reason for American men to look to the FSU. Personally Fiorella it sounds to me like wishful thinking on your part maybe because you have become just like the vast majority of American women.

[Elen]

Elen,  Why are you so confrontational? Why are you angry that some western men marry Russian women many years younger than them?

What do you call "confrontation" and "angry". Post quotations from my posts for I'll be able to answer you .

The USA and its citizens are not responsible for the mess your country got into in the 20^th Century. Until 1941 the USA was isolationist.

Really and what did the USA do on our territory in 20s during the Intervation ? Re-read the history of the USSR, my boy:D

Elen, the world is not fair. Get used to it. In particular, Russia is not a fair place. The USA also is not very fair by western European standards.

Why do you think that my viewpoint on marriage with big ages difference depends on politic??? I would say the same about Russians old men as well.

 

Ukrainians resisted the Soviet invasion and paid a heavy price.

It's my sclerosis or there was not such country as Ukraine at all??? (for to be invided by Soviet Union)[/size][/font]

[KenC]

There has been some good "back & forth" on this subject.  I for one appreciate the spirit put forth in everyone's opinion.  I would like to add my 2 cents now:

On the Americanization of RW-My wife added a well needed 10 pounds since her arrival in America 6 years ago.  Once she hits what she thinks is her perfect weight, there is not a single lb more added.  She has become Americanized in some ways: she wears more casual clothes more often now.  Of course you have to also fator in that we live in CA and it is waay more casual here than elsewhere in the US.  But she is far from being an AW in many ways.  She is still 10 times more feminine than most AW.  She is not hung up with penis envy like most AW.  She enjoys her role as a woman.  She takes great pride in "taking care of her man".  And yes, she is still insanely jealous and territorial over me.  She recently made the comment that "America has perserved my beauty.  If I were still in Russia, I would look much older now."  I think she will always be as Russian as she is now.

Large age differences-Yes there will be obsticals to overcome in the future.  We have made plans as to how those will be handled.  A couple of interesting thoughts: With the average age at death for men in Russia being somewhere 10 or 15 years younger than in America, isn't the "gap" somewhat reduced by marrying an American man?  My wife made a very conscious decision to marry me, a man much older than she.  She knew going into this that she would reap the benifits that come with an older husband: more settled, financially responsible and more mature.  She also knew the ultimate unpleasant consequences that she will have me for less time than she would a younger man.  In the end, she chose me.

KenC

[Elen]

Elen, That's a good question.

 Yes and for my answers for that question which were practically idential to yours ones I was marked as ALL MEN (and espesially Americans ones) HATER :D:D

[Elen]

Face it Elen the vast majority of AM are going to the FSU because far to many AW's are for the most part psychotic bitches

I don't FACE that I don't know if THAT true and I don't trust males who say such things about women:?

What is wrong with a man wanting to be with a beautiful, sexy, intelligent lady who is 10, 15 or 20 years younger than himself [/size][/color][/font]

well may be nothing except  a lack of self-criticism

as long as the lady is happy with the relationship. [/size][/color][/font]

yeah!  exactly what I said "as LONG as...." How long - that's is a question :P:P

To me it sounds from your rants like you are more the typical angry American woman, what is the reason for your all of your anger towards American men?[/size][/color][/font]

Once more let give out examples of my ANGRY about men (and particular about American ones)

As for the RW's becoming Americanized, I am sorry but you are wrong at least from my experience with my lady and observing the other AM/RW couples we know.

Your wife was born and raised in "old" social conditions that's  the reason of her difference from american women. New generation of russian girls is NEW one. and I'm not sure you will get the same results with women grown up in capitalist society where money mean such many (if not everything)

 

 [/size][/color][/font]

[TigerPaws]

Your wife was born and raised in "old" social conditions that's  the reason of her difference from american women. New generation of russian girls is NEW one. and I'm not sure you will get the same results with women grown up in capitalist society where money mean such many (if not everything).

 

 

Elen,

 I will concede the point that in the new reality which is Russia today girls under 25 from the large cities could very well become much more money oriented in their husband selection. That said, Russia is a BIG country with many smaller cities, towns and villages where the more traditional values are still being taught and are considered to be important.

 Additionally I am very happy to hear that you acknowledge that girls "born and raised in "old" social conditions" are "the reason of her difference from american women." The vast majority of American men I have met who are considering looking for a bride in the FSU or are actively looking are in their late 30's or early to mid 40's. I counsel these men to ignore the large cities and to look for ladies over 25 for many reasons, one of with is as you so clearly said the younger city girls are becoming more like American women.  

[Elen]

That said, Russia is a BIG country with many smaller cities, towns and villages where the more traditional values are still being taught and are considered to be important.

At you place I would not  mistaken (or fool) yourselves with traditional valies of girls from small towns The wishes to marry to foriegn husband of these girls more depend on money than in big cities. And also that is a big question what these girls were taught at home and what education they got at streets of small towns as their parents (mostly single mothers as there are not enough decent males in our small towns, are there?) had to spend too much time not at home but at variuose jobs, trying to survive .

And to your inform the most perfect scammers are from little towns:P:P:P (it's not me I have read that at this board:D)

And when I tell "old conditions" I mean free of pay edication for anybody in any spheras , free of pay health care, lack of stupid TV shows and commercials and the idea money is not the main thing in this life. I doubt you can find all these now especially in our small towns.
[/size][/color][/font]

[Muzh]

Face it Elen the vast majority of AM are going to the FSU because far to many AW's are for the most part psychotic bitches

I don't FACE that I don't know if THAT true and I don't trust males who say such things about women:?[/size][/color][/font][/quote]
Gentlemen, please.  Lamblasting AW because of some bad apples is not a very gentleman thing to do.  You guys come out sounding like misogynists.  Elen is right on the money with the above statement.  If you feel this way about AW, how do we know you don't feel the same about women in general?  I know many very good and kind women in this country for me to accept this generalization that AW are a bunch of crazy bitches.

Let's show a little decorum, after all most of us have been saying that we are good, caring and understanding men.

[TigerPaws]

Elen,

 It sounds to me like you have been out of the loop for far too long, a perfect example. My wife's younger sister Alexandra, she is 25 from a village about 1000 km east of Moscow, intelligent, well educated, very attractive and holds the "old world traditional values", she is single as she can not find an acceptable Russian man and there are many more just like her, I know having spend a great deal of time (recently) in the more rual parts of Russia.  

 You may not like hearing the truth Elen but you are spreading disinformation for whatever personal gratification or vendetta you have about Am's finding a bride in the FSU.

 

[TigerPaws]

Face it Elen the vast majority of AM are going to the FSU because far to many AW's are for the most part psychotic bitches

I don't FACE that I don't know if THAT true and I don't trust males who say such things about women:?
[/size][/color][/font][/quote]
 Maybe I was being overly harsh as I was not speaking about ALL AW, still far too many single AW seem to have lost their sanity and the more traditional "old world" family values.

[Elen]

 

It sounds to me like you have been out of the loop for far too long, a perfect example

I'm about tendency with life in small towns in Russia now and for sure I'm more close to that reality than you in your America

As for your opinion about American women it's not the first time you gave out such "declarations" so it was not just a slip:?[/size][/color][/font]

[Elen]

 

You may not like hearing the truth Elen but you are spreading disinformation for whatever personal gratification or vendetta you have about Am's finding a bride in the FSU.

May I know what's disinformation i'm spreading? If you are about scammers form small towns then let's go and check some black lists of yours [/size][/color][/font]