Big City Women vs. Village Girls

[Davo]

Everything

Sure Davo, but what about the women in their thirties without children. I see plenty of them on dating sites, many quite pretty and in UK they would not be short of guys to chose from. According to Boethius though they face being left on the shelf. Most women consider a good man as one who can provide so if not that then what.

I might be wrong, but I suspect they are in the same boat if most of the decent guys are married and all they have left are guys who are alcoholics or don't want to commit. Get back on f.dating and find out. My woman had 3 men contact her out of 790 views. Two we're just weird and the other didn't reply after his first message  ... That pretty much sums it up I think.
Most men on here can provide for a woman .... House, job, good with kids,  being attentive to her needs. It's the basics for any woman in any  country. If you can't give this your not marriage material to any woman FSU or otherwise. You just need to make a good connection and the rest will come naturally : )

[msmob]

Not every woman in the UK is fat but there are now many fat women in the UK. Like I said though fat women are an instant turn off for men, physically they are real gross to look at and most men are very visual beings. I've no doubt they still think the world of themselves and that some gut should have to tick all their boxes like other women but most of them fail to recognise that they are in no position to be picky and hence remain single.

Well you state that women in their thirties that are single ate likely to remain so, but why is this? Surely this is falling into the MOB industry mantra that there are more women than men or men cannot support the women/provide for family. If it is just a case if attitude that the guys out there want to be playboys I would like to know how this comes about. In UK most guys know if they don't commit to a girl unless they are extrovert & highly socially skilled etc they may struggle to get another one. Decent (by which I mean not fat) women are in short supply here, they don't go begging. Here women in their thirties can easily find a man, maybe not one that ticks all their boxes but plenty for them to chose from. A man at any age in UK can really struggle to find one (unless he is extrovert/socially skilled ) even if he is decent looking & have one or two things going for him.

Total tosh, as usual.((

Kindly remember there are other Brits post on here.

Apart from those with physical conditions, many UK women that are obese eat badly and lead bad life-styles - not always their choice.

Those that can be / choose to be active aren't fat.

Sorry, Trench, but you need to sort yourself out - as you laugh at your own - awful - humour - and this in itself is a sign that you probably fall flat on your face on dates.

You are honest about this and I gave you credit for same.

Your 'problem' is that having been to Ukraine and Russia - you now try to post like an 'expert' - and wonder WHY folk pile in on you. It's because you are WRONG and giving out crap advice.

Keep up the honesty - ask questions and you'll - mostly - get helpful answers...





 

[Trenchcoat]

Moby, what do you mean, "not always their choice" lol, of course it is their choice, whose choice is it,re they force fed, lol.

I mean I do a desk job and never got fat. I'm not athletic, I eat a normal diet at a regular steady pace which includes some junk food. Yet I am not fat. I'm sorry but if someone is majorly fat they are doing something wrong, most likely vastly overeating and/or eating lots of junk food. I find most fat people (mostly men) if they put their hand on heart would own up to this. Many women though don't they think by denying it somehow it will somehow not be evident as an issue they live in self denial. I'm guessing your daughter is fat Moby those guys that take exception to & defend obesity usually have the issue close to their personal situation.

I have never stated I am an expert on here. I post what I feel I have found, my take on it and my thoughts on FSU dating. Other members comment on this and quite often I do accept that they are right and I was of the mark on a particular issue. On other issues I maintain my opinions until I feel others have a better take on it who are perhaps experts. Occasionally I do of course feel I am generally right on an issue as I'm sure you do.

[Doll]

Trenchcoat , it is not "their choice"- that's true. I watch kids  at school- what their parents pack for them or what they HAVE to buy in cafeteria. Many bad habits are acquired when children are very young and can't choose.
Cookies, chips, candies, cookies, chips, candies- this is what I see every day. One from a hundred has fruit, leave vegetables alone.

[2tallbill]

So, 2tallbill, what comes between 5 and 49?

Considering how the economy is in Ukraine and how low the salaries are
and how corrupt the society is, I don't blame the women for wanting a
man who can provide for the family and not be an unmotivated loser.

You might not blame the FSUW who might think that way, but the good girls
want to love and be loved first and second. Common values, a family, trust,
good health, respect, conversations where they are listened to and happiness
all come before money for the good girls. 

To get a good girl, you need to win her heart. She wants you to win it, she wants
romance and seduction and she wants a man to pursue her. She wants to be chased
and caught.

A guy who complains that she only ate half of the meal that she ordered at
the cafe wasting his money isn't going to catch many good girls.

A guy who thinks providing a more comfortable lifestyle for a girl is going
to get him noticed is wrong. The a good girl first has to imagine loving the
guy, waking up next to him and making babies with him for her to start
considering things like that.

It's not the cart before the horse, it's buying riding goggles without having
either a cart or a horse. Women are emotional creatures they do take practical
things into consideration but love, trust, respect, common values, etc come first.

Udachi!


Bill

Find the girl, pursue the girl, win her heart.

[Trenchcoat]

A spoonful

[wallm]

bill, I am not saying being provided for is at the top. From the conversations I had with them they want love, harmony, faithfulness, honesty, active & healthy lifestyle and loving children. They also want a man who is capable of providing for the family. Two of them I had met said they were the breadwinners in the family and they couldn't take it and ended the marriages. You are clearly underselling financial security. It matters in today's world. So, which are between 5 and 49? 

[Trenchcoat]

When you say seduce a girl Bill I'm guessing you mean more than just flowers?

I've bought the two previous girls I met for dates iN Ukraine flowers (decent ones) and one time ato dinner but I'm not really sure it had the impressive seductive impact I had hoped for. I've heard nearly all girls like flowers but perhaps not.

[Sting23]

My thread sure took a tangent! It's apparent from reading the posts who has actual experience with women and who doesn't.

Some women want love above all else, some will accept money for arrangements (see Hugh Hefner)...Financial security is only 1 in a list of many.

Having lived in both the UK and Russia I will say I did not date 1 British woman at all.  There is no comparison between them and Russian women.  Must be the water in the Thames or something. 

Trench, honestly you come off sounding like a limp noodle.  The way you write few men would want to be your friend, let alone any women who is looking for romance.
If you talk like how you write, any date would be bored outta their mind.  Flowers mean nothing, it's your personality, spirit, joie de vivre.  Most of the dates in Moscow I didn't even bring flowers but if you show the girl a good time they will enjoy your company and want to be with you.

None asked me my financial status or insist I pay for dinner.  They want to see how generous you are and if you are mentally counting every penny they know it.

[Sting23]

When you say seduce a girl Bill I'm guessing you mean more than just flowers?

If you don't know that seducing a girl means much more than flowers then I don't know what to say... I think in previous posts you mentioned you don't offer your arm or hand to the lady, you don't attempt a hug or kiss, basically you don't initiate.  Don't be a pushover, women sense it and probably that's why you don't get their affection.

For example say I offer my arm when we are walking on a date.  If a girl is receptive and holds you tight, that is a clue.  If they are hesitant and disengage..well then that is saying something too.  Body language will give you far more answers than their words.  Some are ready, some need space. But if you don't at least offer you will never know.

[kynrazor]

the good girls want to love and be loved first and second. Common values, a family, trust, good health, respect, conversations where they are listened to and happiness all come before money for the good girls. 

To get a good girl, you need to win her heart. She wants you to win it, she wants romance and seduction and she wants a man to pursue her. She wants to be chased and caught.

It's not the cart before the horse, it's buying riding goggles without having either a cart or a horse. Women are emotional creatures they do take practical things into consideration but love, trust, respect, common values, etc come first.

And here ladies and gentlemen, is a good analogy of a Catch-22. First, you are advised to search for "good women" which undoubtedly means women who are not golddiggers, are loyal, good house-keepers, a.k.a "wife material". Then you are advised that actually, even before the practical considerations for finding a "good girl", emotional compatibility (quote:"love, trust, respect, common values") is the first and single most important thing, before any practical considerations for the couple.

As if to make matters more confusing, you are also advised to "romance, purse and win her heart" the "good girl", now without regard for whether there is any of the much-touted emotional compatibility a.k.a chemistry to start with.

This is why I take issue with the over-emphasis of having "chemistry" or emotional compatibility to kick-start a relationship. Who is to say I can't change my "values" to fit closely to hers so that we end up sharing the same "values"? How can I expect to trust a person straight off the bat without spending time first? How do I earn her respect if I do not spend time with her first and through feats of valor, show her first?

Granddad had a wive in China before WW2 through a pre-arranged marriage which my hot-blooded young granddad absolutely detested at first. Granddad started out feeling no "chemistry" at all with wife (never spoke more than a few words, had vastly different hobbies, interests, even values in life) but over time, their "love" grew and they eventually had four children before WW2 broke out. Granddad fought in the war, commanding two whole battalions before retreating & ending up on the shores of Malaysia when his position was overrun by Commies. Granddad assumed he would never see his "true love", his wife again. He started afresh, married a Malaysian woman and together had several children including my father.

30 years passed before he found out his first wife was actually still alive and a "widow" in China. Determined, he decided to risk everything and smuggled himself back into the backwater hole that China was and managed to find the old house and see the wife before she passed away unexpectedly weeks later (presumably from colon cancer but no idea as the medical expertise was almost non-existent especially in the rural countryside in communist China) . He made it in time. All this for someone who he had no "chemistry" to begin with.

Granddad would have scoffed at the idea of "chemistry" being the first step foundations towards a healthy relationship. If someone were to tell my granddad that he intend to marry a woman simply because he felt the "chemistry", that everything felt "right" with her, that she has stolen his heart, without first considering any of the practical implications of such an action, he would have looked at him as if he had gone mad, bordering on suicidal. Really, would anyone in their right mind marry a drug addict or a serial abuser just because they have great "chemistry"?

Quote from granddad:"We should marry to love, not love to marry."

Find the girl, pursue the girl, win her heart.

This I agree with fully. I just belong to a different school of thought when it comes to finding the girl step. I think "emotional compatibility" can at times be too over-rated than what it's worth.

[kynrazor]

Unless WHO is unreliable, apparently there is not much of a difference in obesity rates between the UK or FSU at all. Even when selected for female-only stats.

http://www.who.int/gho/ncd/risk_factors/overweight/en/

Either way, I have to say it was very hard to stop my eyes from wandering around when I was in Moscow for the day (mind you it was right at the heart of Moscow). So many hot bods, all of nice proportions  I had quite the struggle to rein in my urges . Maybe obesity is more prevalent in the provincial cities? Hmm.

[Trenchcoat]

My thread sure took a tangent! It's apparent from reading the posts who has actual experience with women and who doesn't.

Some women want love above all else, some will accept money for arrangements (see Hugh Hefner)...Financial security is only 1 in a list of many.

Having lived in both the UK and Russia I will say I did not date 1 British woman at all.  There is no comparison between them and Russian women.  Must be the water in the Thames or something. 

Trench, honestly you come off sounding like a limp noodle.  The way you write few men would want to be your friend, let alone any women who is looking for romance.
If you talk like how you write, any date would be bored outta their mind.  Flowers mean nothing, it's your personality, spirit, joie de vivre.  Most of the dates in Moscow I didn't even bring flowers but if you show the girl a good time they will enjoy your company and want to be with you.

None asked me my financial status or insist I pay for dinner.  They want to see how generous you are and if you are mentally counting every penny they know it.

Yeah, English girls that are around London & Southern England are real difficult to get with, hence my problem. They have lots of options of men to choose from even the less prettier ones and tend to have high minded attitudes. Good you have found this as many on here are oblivious to how tough it is my way.

I think in a way you're thread question has already been answered that you its a question of the right girl rather than the place. Numerically though if you are playing the numbers game to try and bring up the right girl large cities are good. As I tried to put across less prosperous aread and smaller towns & cities you may find a decent one but it's a case of sifting though those that want immigration first rather than man first and immigration as acceptable. Big cites I guess these are replaced more by those that don't want immigration if they are not into you, but at least you get the honest reality up front I guess.

If you went to Moscow then the dating scene is no doubt different from Ukraine. They have more of their own money. I get your point though how I interact with a girl is more important than going through a routine of doing well trodden romantic acts. I also note what you say about warmth on a date and how well a girl feels in my presence. This is something I am working on and improving gradually I think and more time out in the FSU with women will help with this no doubt.

[Sting23]

Yeah, English girls that are around London & Southern England are real difficult to get with, hence my problem.  Good you have found this as many on here are oblivious to how tough it is my way.

 This is something I am working on and improving gradually I think and more time out in the FSU with women will help with this no doubt.

I was in London and saw how the women were.  My social group ended up being more expats or a mix.  Cliques tend to form with Brits because many go to the same university/school and have friends in that group.

We are all here for one goal, love so I try to learn as much from those who have experience and have been successful.

[Boethius]

I won't argue with you as we all have different opinions  ,  but as a woman you would have had guys that just captivate you in the first minute or so? You wouldn't walk away from a guy like that to talk to someone who hasn't caught your attention

No.  I can't say my husband and I had "instant" chemistry. 

[Boethius]

Well you state that women in their thirties that are single ate likely to remain so, but why is this? Surely this is falling into the MOB industry mantra that there are more women than men or men cannot support the women/provide for family. If it is just a case if attitude that the guys out there want to be playboys I would like to know how this comes about.

It's just the attitude toward women.


From your posts, I surmise that you have almost no practical experience with UK women, or women in general, for that matter.  Your justifications are an excuse for your own failures.   I don't think this is anything  you can "learn" online.  You  have to go out and meet people, date women, and see what type of personality meshes with yours, and what doesn't. 

[Boethius]

And here ladies and gentlemen, is a good analogy of a Catch-22. First, you are advised to search for "good women" which undoubtedly means women who are not golddiggers, are loyal, good house-keepers, a.k.a "wife material". Then you are advised that actually, even before the practical considerations for finding a "good girl", emotional compatibility (quote:"love, trust, respect, common values") is the first and single most important thing, before any practical considerations for the couple.

As if to make matters more confusing, you are also advised to "romance, purse and win her heart" the "good girl", now without regard for whether there is any of the much-touted emotional compatibility a.k.a chemistry to start with.

This is why I take issue with the over-emphasis of having "chemistry" or emotional compatibility to kick-start a relationship. Who is to say I can't change my "values" to fit closely to hers so that we end up sharing the same "values"? How can I expect to trust a person straight off the bat without spending time first? How do I earn her respect if I do not spend time with her first and through feats of valor, show her first?

Granddad had a wive in China before WW2 through a pre-arranged marriage which my hot-blooded young granddad absolutely detested at first. Granddad started out feeling no "chemistry" at all with wife (never spoke more than a few words, had vastly different hobbies, interests, even values in life) but over time, their "love" grew and they eventually had four children before WW2 broke out. Granddad fought in the war, commanding two whole battalions before retreating & ending up on the shores of Malaysia when his position was overrun by Commies. Granddad assumed he would never see his "true love", his wife again. He started afresh, married a Malaysian woman and together had several children including my father.

30 years passed before he found out his first wife was actually still alive and a "widow" in China. Determined, he decided to risk everything and smuggled himself back into the backwater hole that China was and managed to find the old house and see the wife before she passed away unexpectedly weeks later (presumably from colon cancer but no idea as the medical expertise was almost non-existent especially in the rural countryside in communist China) . He made it in time. All this for someone who he had no "chemistry" to begin with.

Granddad would have scoffed at the idea of "chemistry" being the first step foundations towards a healthy relationship. If someone were to tell my granddad that he intend to marry a woman simply because he felt the "chemistry", that everything felt "right" with her, that she has stolen his heart, without first considering any of the practical implications of such an action, he would have looked at him as if he had gone mad, bordering on suicidal. Really, would anyone in their right mind marry a drug addict or a serial abuser just because they have great "chemistry"?

Quote from granddad:"We should marry to love, not love to marry."

This I agree with fully. I just belong to a different school of thought when it comes to finding the girl step. I think "emotional compatibility" can at times be too over-rated than what it's worth.

I agree about chemistry.  I think at the end of the day, you do have to have similar values. 


I don't even know what "emotional compatibility" means. 

[Doll]

эмоциональная совместимость
 http://oureverydaylife.com/emotional-compatibility-41762.html

[msmob]

Moby, what do you mean, "not always their choice" lol, of course it is their choice, whose choice is it,re they force fed, lol.

1/ Metabolism in some cases

2/ Parental (non) responsibility re diet

I mean I do a desk job and never got fat. I'm not athletic, I eat a normal diet at a regular steady pace which includes some junk food. Yet I am not fat.

Clearly metabolism

I'm sorry but if someone is majorly fat they are doing something wrong, most likely vastly overeating and/or eating lots of junk food. I find most fat people (mostly men) if they put their hand on heart would own up to this. Many women though don't they think by denying it somehow it will somehow not be evident as an issue they live in self denial. I'm guessing your daughter is fat Moby those guys that take exception to & defend obesity usually have the issue close to their personal situation.

Classic Trench ! When your daftness is pointed out - the (VERY) amateur psychologist appears .. In the same way you don't gain weight another person, on a similar diet, with a different metabolism COULD gain weight, with your life-style.

1/ We don't discuss family members in our personal disagreements - bad form ..but..

2/ My daughters are the type you aspire to - slim, petite six 6/8 (US 2/4) and both are in long-term relationships...   go figure...   They both work in industries were looks aid careers..  and they are doing 'OK' thanks...

I have never stated I am an expert on here. I post what I feel I have found, my take on it and my thoughts on FSU dating.

Indeed, you see a 'scammer' in nearly every lass, let them believe you can afford a life-style you can't  and don't have a clue why you come across as greedy ( in the context used by FSU women)

Then you post your 'findings' based on one failed 'relationship' that never got off the ground

Other members comment on this and quite often I do accept that they are right and I was of the mark on a particular issue. On other issues I maintain my opinions until I feel others have a better take on it who are perhaps experts. Occasionally I do of course feel I am generally right on an issue as I'm sure you do.

They comment - because you don't take it on board.

This latest post of yours simply reinforces you just keep on getting it wrong...and handle it badly.. (( 

[Davo]

This weight issue talk is pretty close to home. My metabolism is insane. I lost 5 kg this  week, back on diet and exercise. I'm 105kg... By Xmas I'll be 80kg. If I ate 300g of Lasagna, some how I'll gain 1kg while in a calorie deficit. 2 years ago, I really let myself go and was 125kg.... 4 months later I weighed 77kg. To maintain weight I can only eat 1500 calories a day. Where most men my age can eat 2300 a day. Carbs like pasta are far worse for me than junk food. So it's a little more complicated for some people than it seems. I'm resigned to the fact, I have to count calories for the rest of my life.

To give you an example of how my weight fluctuates.... The first attachment, I'm in the grey shirt, 2nd from the left. The next attachment is 3 months later and the next is another month on. The woman in the first picture is my sister, she has the ability to lose and put weight on quickly also... It all comes down to genetics in my family

[BillyB]

Unless WHO is unreliable, apparently there is not much of a difference in obesity rates between the UK or FSU at all. Even when selected for female-only stats.

http://www.who.int/gho/ncd/risk_factors/overweight/en/

Either way, I have to say it was very hard to stop my eyes from wandering around when I was in Moscow for the day (mind you it was right at the heart of Moscow). So many hot bods, all of nice proportions  I had quite the struggle to rein in my urges . Maybe obesity is more prevalent in the provincial cities? Hmm.

I won't dispute WHO's study but your eyes don't lie. Younger women that most men here are going after are clearly slimmer than the equivalents back home. I seen a lot of babushkas overweight in the FSU though but not many are targeting them. My wife's mentality to keep a good diet, be slim and fit is much better than the average American woman. Could be the same attitude with a lot of ladies in the FSU.

[msmob]

Most people in the cities I know in the FSU tend to use public transport and walk more than in the west. 

I certainly blame owning a car for putting on weight )

[Madlen]

   Sting23, if woman kind, wise, caring, educated and interesting inside and outside it is not because she lives in small or big city. It is because she is from birth like this. This is her natural state

Communicate with different women, from different cities and one day you will find your right person.

And be sure-when woman likes man really, she will follows him even to Moon .

[Sting23]

Hello Madlen, zdrasti! thanks for the words. You are right, it is not the city but the woman.

[Trenchcoat]

1/ Metabolism in some cases

2/ Parental (non) responsibility re diet


Clearly metabolism

Classic Trench ! When your daftness is pointed out - the (VERY) amateur psychologist appears .. In the same way you don't gain weight another person, on a similar diet, with a different metabolism COULD gain weight, with your life-style.

1/ We don't discuss family members in our personal disagreements - bad form ..but..

2/ My daughters are the type you aspire to - slim, petite six 6/8 (US 2/4) and both are in long-term relationships...   go figure...   They both work in industries were looks aid careers..  and they are doing 'OK' thanks...

Indeed, you see a 'scammer' in nearly every lass, let them believe you can afford a life-style you can't  and don't have a clue why you come across as greedy ( in the context used by FSU women)

Then you post your 'findings' based on one failed 'relationship' that never got off the ground

They comment - because you don't take it on board.

This latest post of yours simply reinforces you just keep on getting it wrong...and handle it badly.. ((

Metabolism! you mean you bought that old excuse those chubby girls put out

Your daughters then no doubt have no trouble getting bf's as most UK guys are after average to slim woman even before looks etc are taken into account.