Back to KievSo… today is the day I’m heading off to Kiev with Ms C. I will admit though that my mind has been heavily on Ms D for the past few days.
Last night I realized I wasn’t going to get to “meet the parents” so I had a think about the gifts I’d arranged and I wondered if I should give them to her to take home, or whether I should hold on to them and give them to my “chicken dancing shopkeeper” down the road.
I decided that I’d brought the gifts for the family and I would give them to the family. Ms C was a genuinely nice girl and even though I wasn’t going to meet the family I wanted to let them know that if something were to eventuate with their daughter, she would be involved with someone who did consider the family in the broader process.
After our “very awesome day” in the park Ms C came back to my hotel and I went to get the gifts for the family.
When I was planning the gifts I wanted to bring a little of Australia to Ukraine and not embarrass anyone with something that was too modest or elaborate.
For her father I HAD to bring a bottle of Bundaberg Rum. Anyone that comes to Australia MUST try a “Bundy and Coke” and I figured if their national drink was vodka then they should sample some of our national drink too!
For her mother I brought a small bottle of perfume. I guess if a smell could be identified with Australia it would be Eucalyptus but the thought of a Eucalyptus based perfume is more inclined to permanently clear her sinuses rather than tantalise her senses so I chose the same fragrance my mother wears in Australia.
For her sister and nephews I brought a large box of chocolate coated macadamia nuts, a nut grown extensively around the area where I live.
I think she was shocked when I returned to the lobby with the gifts for her family and maybe a little embarrassed that I wasn’t going to meet them.
I don’t know if she was taking it slow or if the family didn’t feel it necessary yet but I didn’t mind.
My primary objective on this trip was to get to know some girls that I’d shared some excellent correspondence with. It would have been nice to meet their friends and family on the first trip but it wasn’t possible with Ms D and it seemed impossible with Ms C too.
On the morning of our departure Ms C had to go into her office to sort out one or two things so when she arrived at my hotel we sat in the lobby for a few moments so she could warm up.
One of the first things she told me was that her family really appreciated the gifts and her mother was very shocked. Her mother and sister would be waiting for us at the Bus Station because they wanted to say thank you in person.
Ms C had told me her mother was ill so when we arrived at the bus station I could see that the poor lady had really made an effort to come into town to meet us.
It was a short but pleasant meeting and it was nice to see Ms C interact with her mother and sister. Her sister is a doctor but looks quite homely. She seemed lovely and it was nice to see Ms C’s nephew along too. Her Mother was tiny, and while she looked frail she had an inner strength that suggested she’d seen hard times and come through to remain the matriarch of the family. Ms C’s father works in Moscow so it wasn’t possible to meet him but maybe one day in the future.
We swapped some words (mostly with Ms C translating) and smiles were exchanged. We took a couple of photos and I had a little play with Ms C’s 3 year old nephew while the three women of the house chatted away about something that I felt like might have included me, but that may have just been my suspicious nature.
It was time to go and we were off in a bus heading to Kiev, not knowing what the next few days would be like.
I might recap on my experiences with Ms C in her hometown.
Firstly, she was very conservative, not just in her conversation but also in her actions. It almost seemed as if she was a little stiff even when we were in café’s and restaurants.
We’d had the mystery with the “Moustached Man” in the restaurant, and I didn’t feel like that was resolved. There was definitely something I didn’t understand about that and I like to understand what’s happening around me.
Then we had a really good day in the local museum. I was genuinely interested in the exhibits and we had many opportunities to chat about our beliefs and values, and to share some thoughts on history and culture.
The next day she was still very “tight” for most of the time but once or twice I saw some glimpses of the fun girl I came to know in email.
I really had no idea what to expect in Kiev except I was looking forward to learning more about this girl!
The bus...
I won’t give you a long winded explanation of the trip but I will say it was much smoother, more comfortable, seemed faster and was MUCH better value than the private car I used to get to Cherkassy.
My advice… USE THE BUS, be careful and enjoy the experience!
I only struggled once or twice when the hippy across the aisle from me took off his coat and the moist stench of body odour wafted my way and when the journey started the old lady would poke me in the back, say something in Russian and pass me money from people behind her. In Australia if something like that happened I’d probably thank her and theatrically stuff the money in my pocket but I was pretty sure the humour wouldn’t translate in a bus full of people suffering from “Hippy Pong” as it thundered through rural Ukraine.
Almost as soon as we got off and away from the bus her mood changed. She went from someone who appeared quite rigid to someone who laughed much of the time, joked around, talked and shared and showed me a lot of attention.
When we got to the apartment I asked her about the change and she explained that because of her job in Cherkassy, and because of the many people she met through work she always feels like she needs to be very serious.
Later when we went for a walk she said to me, “In Cherkassy I am serious, in another city I feel like skipping down the street.”
It explained much to me about her attitude in her hometown and now she appeared every bit as much fun as she’d been through our correspondence.
In Kiev we went for walks, but long slow walks. She wasn’t in a hurry to get from point A to point B and nor was I, except when the effects of strong coffee and cold weather hit me from time to time.
We went for dinner at Shato on Kreshatic. If I had Cyrillic text on this machine I would spell it in Cyrillic for you but just imagine a big red sign that looks like Wato on the right hand side as you’re walking away from Independence Square.
The meal was lovely… but a little expensive. Actually, it was about the same price you’d expect to pay in Australia for a nice soup (Solyanka is divine in my opinion), main course and a couple of drinks. If you’re going there treat it like a night out at home and not a “cheap feed” and I’m sure you’ll be very satisfied.
Remembering that she liked Sweet Red Wine I ordered one for her and a beer for me but when the drinks arrived she asked the waiter for a small glass and she took my beer and poured some into the small glass for herself, saying with a laugh, “Tonight I think I’ll start with beer and finish with Vodka”.
Dinner was good, very good. We were sharing a great conversation and many laughs. She didn’t like having her photo taken so if the conversation got too serious I would pull out the camera and humour would be restored.
We were having a very good time together.
On the way back to the apartment we stopped off for a nightcap and ice-cream. I’ve gotta say that I’m surprised everyone here is so interested in ice-cream when it’s bl00dy freezing outside!
In the morning I was up first and when she finally rose we went for a walk, stopped for coffee, walked some more and took some photos.
Something that was really interesting about Ms C was that she really knew the history of Kiev and as we walked along streets she’d tell me stories passed down to her from an elderly friend about “the time he planted this tree sixty years ago and you will notice it’s the only tree on Kreshatic that is of a different type to all the others”.
“’Such as such’ lived in this house with his wife for many years until when she died and then he spent his time writing stories and playing music for the children that would come to visit him”.
She had proved to have a very tender and sweet personality, so much so that I felt enormous empathy for her when we talked about her former dreams, renewed goals, her hopes and desires.
This was a very special girl!
At night we walked some more and stopped of in Shato again to escape the cold and share some drinks and some laughs. The bill again was large but I didn’t mind. It was my choice to go there and the staff has been very friendly, funny and entertaining. It feels like a bar I would go to at home and the staff are like those I would banter with in my usual life.
Something I noticed about Ms C in contrast to Ms D is that she “perhaps” had a higher standard of living and could afford to do more things that required money. I paid for our time together but she offered at times too.
At one point I fell a few bucks short when trying to pay for something so she happily dug into her purse to make up the difference and I noticed that she was carrying “some” money on her. Not a gross amount, but enough to allow her a contingency if she needed one.
It’s neither good nor bad, nor a reflection on either girl. It’s was just interesting for me to see two girls so similar, yet so different, and event though I might logically try to understand them there was no pattern to either girls psyche or constitution.
This morning Ms C had to return home and we sat in the kitchen and talked about serious and substantial things for a long time.
We shared many things that might make me thing we’re highly compatible, and I think we both shared things that might make the other conscious of some differences we have.
I’ve made no final decisions but I do know Ms C is a great girl and she’s everything I expected her to be before I came to Ukraine.
Ms D is most definitely still on my mind. Heavily on my mind, but both girls have been revelations for me after reading so many horror stories about first trips or unfulfilled desires when men come to Ukraine.
I’ve learnt so much about a new culture, people, this place and about myself since arriving in Borispol airport 14 days ago.
I’ve seriously questioned myself on a number of topics and I still need more time to work out what is going on in my head.
Should I have written to both girls and arranged to meet both?
Some would say it was a wise decision because there was no way of telling if either would work out.
Somehow, I think that no matter what happens I’ve made a poor decision based on humane grounds.
I know we’re all adults and we all confront life’s ups and downs each and every day. I now also know that both girls must have developed feelings prior to my arrival even though I was trying to keep myself on an even keel before the face to face meeting.
Both girls and I really connected in different ways. Both are outstanding people and I would have been thrilled to meet either at anytime in my past so I could have shared time, thoughts and humour with them. One girl though, or maybe two, will end up hurt and disappointed, and that doesn’t make me feel good.
Maybe I’ll be the one to end up hurt and disappointed… I don’t know. What I do know is that I must have been very lucky to have found such great connections with two very good girls!
So, where to from here?
Well, my back is a bit tight from the cold so I’m going to have a really hot shower soon.
I know you didn’t need to know that but I thought I’d add it in to break the tension a little. I’ve been thinking about “that” topic long and hard for several days now and I don’t think or want a quick resolution.
Tonight I need to make a decision. Will I go to Dnepropetrovsk or will I stay in Kiev for a few days of thinking time?
I’d like to go to Dnepropetrovsk but I checked the airfares and they are expensive because there is basically only business class seats left. I could take the train, but I don’t know… maybe I’d be better off staying in Kiev and having some quiet time to myself.
Based on Michelangelo’s recommendations I should go… but then again I’m sure his love of that city is biased because of his love for his lady. I’m tempted, but I don’t know!
If I stay in Kiev I’ll wait for Ms D’s return on Saturday. She wants to spend more time together before I go back to Australia and I think it’ll be very nice to catch up with her for effectively our second meeting. No more “blind date” this time… we can spend some time with a speck of history already under our belts!
Tonight is for some thinking time. If I hold to my motto for this trip of “not to rushing anything and letting the experience evolve”, I’m sure I’ll achieve the best outcome.
If I stay on-track I hope the right answers will be given by the “Gods Of Good Sense” and I won’t commit a very human failing of rushing things out of excitement or because it “just feels right” at the time.
Things I’ve learnt about myself?
I’ve had a lot of time to think about my life at home and some of the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I think I’ll be different when I get home because I feel much more grounded than I’ve been in a long time.
I’ve got some new goals and some new things I want to achieve.
I think I’ve learnt some patience during my time away and I’ve come to understand the beauty and the complexities in the characters that I’ve met on my journey.
For those that haven’t been here I would recommend that you do come, and when you do, take some time to look and see, think and understand, and identify all of the similarities and differences with your life at home.
I’ve had a couple of very poignant moments from just seeing those similarities that make us all the same, and the differences that separate us more than we can ever imagine.
Don’t believe the travel writers. Don’t believe the agencies. Don’t even believe everything you read on this and other discussion boards. Come here and experience something that will change your perspective if you’re prepared to open you eyes, ears and imagination.
It’s really been one heck of a trip!
Oh… the Moustached Man in the restaurant.
We talked about him…
He works in her building and she’d a little intimidated by him. She said he’d tried to make conversation before but she never responds and if she sees him in the building she will avoid him if possible. She said that one lady in her building already has “big problems with this man” and she was a little shocked to see that he was in the restaurant.
I joked a little with her by saying, “Maybe he is an ex-boyfriend?” and she shuddered in such a convincing way that it demonstrated genuine repulsion, and satisfied me that his look at me on departure was indeed one of vile intention, and that she will continue to avoid the Moustached Man if their paths cross again in future.
