Interesting situation

[funkola]

   Well do this big boy. The first thing you need to do is buy a ticket to somewhere and actually get your passport stamped before you think you have all the answers because as of right now you dont know jack. After you actually meet some girl over there,then and only then will your opinion be credible. And whats with all the name calling? Who are you trying to impress? Theres a concept call read more and post less. I suggest you adhere to that adage.

Ha Ha. Another one who thinks a passport makes you smarter with women.   

[GregfromGa]

Ha Ha. Another one who thinks a passport makes you smarter with women.   

I dont remember saying that having a passport made you any smarter with the ladies. I did say something along the lines that a person who has never had is arse on a plane probably shouldnt be handing out big opinions on how things should be done during this process. Like I said some people need to read more and post less. It is so funny when these snapperheads come on any forum and start telling people what they should and shouldnt do and they've never come face to face with a RW/UW. Watching "Moscow on the Hudson" and "The Hunt for Red October" is  probably as close to Russia as this guy will probably ever get.

[funkola]

I dont remember saying that having a passport made you any smarter with the ladies. I did say something along the lines that a person who has never had is arse on a plane probably shouldnt be handing out big opinions on how things should be done during this process. Like I said some people need to read more and post less. It is so funny when these snapperheads come on any forum and start telling people what they should and shouldnt do and they've never come face to face with a RW/UW. Watching "Moscow on the Hudson" and "The Hunt for Red October" is  probably as close to Russia as this guy will probably ever get.

You should go back and read from the beginning with an open mind. I never claimed to know much of anything. My only problem was the other guys rude remark because my opinion differed from his. If anyone here is so delicate that they can't abide an opinion different from their own then I doubt they will do well with any woman from any country. For you guys to constantly harp on the fact that you had a plane ticket and I do not shows how narrow minded your point of view.

So let me salute all of the people who flew to fsu.     I imagine my years military service put me in places you guys will NEVER see. And we didn't go first class. And yes there were girls in each of those countries. How is that for a passport bucko?

[GregfromGa]

You should go back and read from the beginning with an open mind. I never claimed to know much of anything. My only problem was the other guys rude remark because my opinion differed from his. If anyone here is so delicate that they can't abide an opinion different from their own then I doubt they will do well with any woman from any country. For you guys to constantly harp on the fact that you had a plane ticket and I do not shows how narrow minded your point of view.

So let me salute all of the people who flew to fsu.     I imagine my years military service put me in places you guys will NEVER see. And we didn't go first class. And yes there were girls in each of those countries. How is that for a passport bucko?

Dont salute me for flying to The FSU. Salute me for just finishing off a nice bowl of my wifes Ukrainian borsht while you'll be eating  a Swansons frozen tv dinner or some General Tsos chicken from the Chinese joint down the way. If you want to be touted for doing your job in the military then I'll be happy to do so if thats what you want,but you see son I had a grandpa that stormed Normandy Beach and he never made a big deal about because he felt he was just doing his job. This is a forum about the process of dating and hopefully marrying RW/UW. If this is your intention then I suggest you not call people names and try and listen when some of these guys are gracious enough to throw you a bone every now and then.

[LEGAL]

So let me salute all of the people who flew to fsu.     I imagine my years military service put me in places you guys will NEVER see. And we didn't go first class. And yes there were girls in each of those countries. How is that for a passport bucko?

Hey funkola can you fly a FA22 RAPTOR NOW THAT IS A PASSPORT.

GregfromGa You forgot a couple of movies Two brothers and a bride I think that might help Funkola    Everything is illuminated,Siberian Apoccalypes, Secrets of Soviet Space, Russia Land of the Zars, Red Heat, Russian Navy,Moscow Strike Back and many many more  I have my own library   Fun sit back and enjoy the ride

LEGAL

[GregfromGa]

Also "the Bourne Supremacy"

[Jumper]

mir- i'd say it depends on how you ran across them and thier circumstances?
thier personalities, AND the level of correspondence youve had.

lets see,
if its this circumstance-
two young women signed up at a marraige agency, to meet men of course!
if the agency calls and tells them *Rim* is in town..
is a very nice, decent guy ,
who would like too simply meet at the cafe'..
they will BOTH certainly go meet him..
and they SHOULD..
 its why they signed up afterall

and it should make little difference if *Mir* who has emailed them and said simply "hey lets meet ok?"
 is coming the week before or after.

so if they are agency girls,,
and in this type of situation, which many are , you certainly are not being dupliticous ,nor out of line, to be open and ask  about seeing both..

and YES ive meet two girls that lived in the same building before.
it was no big deal.snd yes they knew each other,in fact where good friends..  and found it amusing a bit..lol
but yes it depends on the circumstance.

this can be like dating at home,,
as i would certainl just "meet" some girl i liked friday night, and another saturday night in any random US city i visited..
and no they would not have a problem with it..
its just a meeting of someone you chatted with or emailed for christs sakes??

(as IO mentioned this may , or may not ,be the best method..
but hey it worked for me)


it diffinantly depends on the circumstances and corespondence level though.


in another situation,, you wrote both off some free dating sight , have been trying to get to know them well thru emails and phone calls etc..
the expectations of you and the girls will be far different.

and the situation certainly more complex..

me? i wouldnt get into that in the first place..
by keeping things light from the start and visting quickly.
 
to me this isnt the matrix..
i dont have the oracle or some prohecy that
the "one" is even in ANY country ?
lol
 and niether can they..
we both may decide in the first 3 minutes thats it just isnt a good idea..

so i like to SIMPLY meet, and see if theres even the slightest chance of a spark first..

but thats just me.

others will prefer to get to know someone as best they can thru email and phone, and go meet and try to build things further

thats cool too!

but lets not forget the RW involved in all this ok?

is she the type that feels the same way?
that writes many men untill one sems to *click* and she trys to build a realtionship with him to th eexclusion of opthers and then awaits his visit to try and buil dthings further?

or is she a woman that sigfned up fror a marriage agency,
that certainly expects by doing so she should be open to simply meet many men, and try to find a great connection with hopefully one and build something from there?  

it DOES depend on the situation, on the RW , the man, and on the level of correspodence.

Mir, you know the situation,. we dont.

as such , you know if its shady to see both,
 or completely normal to expect to see both..

the RW involved know this as well,
and should react accordingly to the situation.

in one case they could certainly expect you would see only them,
in another they SHOULD be  open to you meeting them both.

but the people involved ,by th ecircumstance,
certainly know if its "cool" or not on both sides of the situation..

if it feels weird or wrong,, it probably is..

if it seems normal enough, reasonable, and correct..
it probably is ,
and someone reacting to it poorly,
 lets you know something valuable about them.

lets not makes this endeavor any wackier,  than interantional dating already is.

[LEGAL]

GregfromGa OH yes that was on last night.


LEGAL

[BillyB]

but if my mind was fixed on a particular path my trip may have been very different.

You mean like visiting only one lady? Kuna, who would you first choose to visit based on correspondence alone? Ms.C, Ms.D, or the lady that works in show biz? Many people say they go international to expand their dating pool only to limit their choices when they land in the FSU. Maybe you would have ended up with a different woman never to know the wonderful Ms.D because you picked another based on letters and phone calls. And this is coming from a guy who values correspondence than most! Not only could you have picked another woman to visit, you might have failed with your woman of choice. You did a good job corresponding with women to make good decisions but most guys don't. Most guys don't marry the first woman they date. They will not do it here and they will not marry the first woman they date there. That is the reality of things. I'm a firm believer if you seek out the best woman for yourself, whatever the methods as long as it's not dishonest, it is not only good for you but for her also once you find each other.

I don't know if there's any valid studies to show which type of people have success in marriage, the people who date one at a time or the people who date many at a time and have more interaction with the opposite sex and have more options to choose from to make a better decision. Regardless what type of method you use, there could be people of integrity and stupidity on both sides of the coin. Ultimately, success in marriage depends on the persons involved, not the methods of getting there. As far as dating goes, there's no commitment until there is a commitment. Most all my life I was strictly one woman at a time and I know for a fact I passed up good opportunity to stick with dating one lady at a time who may or may not be perfect. I relied on luck hoping the woman I went on a date with would be the one for me but I should have been more aggressive in looking at more possibilities. I learned from women, dating doesn't mean commitment.

Elen, you were my backup plan. You need a strong man to teach you so you could respect. If it wasn't for Natalia, Maria, Tatiana, Svetlana, Nastya, Oksana, Irina, Anastasia, Elena, and your husband, I would choose you first to visit! If only you would send me your bikini photos earlier, we might have been together and fate would have been different.

F-22 and Russian fighter videos here at this thread.
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=2719.0

[DKMM]

I see I'm a little late on this one. 

Mir, this is tough but not impossible.  I say you can do it, and like I told Kuna before, don't tell one about the other.  Nothing good will come of that.  You aren't dating one or making any promises either so I see nothing wrong.  Find a way to meet one then the other apart and away from their home.  If you end up pursuing one, and eventually go to her place well then be careful!  Try to avoid this building and you should be fine (how hard can that be?).  You can always fake an allergy or something if you visit her place.

You are going all the way to the south of Russia, you need to maximize your chances.  If you are in, play to win.

[Elen]

Elen, you were my backup plan. You need a strong man to teach you so you could respect. If it wasn't for Natalia, Maria, Tatiana, Svetlana, Nastya, Oksana, Irina, Anastasia, Elena, and your husband, I would choose you first to visit! If only you would send me your bikini photos earlier, we might have been together and fate would have been different.

How sweet darling 
 But you should live somehow with idea that you youself were never in any my plan ( ever in 100+ ) Stand firm and don't  fall in depression about such news There are enough Evetta-Lisetta-Musetta_Janetta-Jorgetta for you in this MOB business  But not Elen   

[Mir]

Well thanks to everyone for the advice

At the moment I have correspondence, telephone conversation, SMSA and with one yahoo messenger contact. However it is all at just friends level and I am not making it too frequent (say one phone call a week).
Both are members of a dating site and when you go on their profile it tells you when they were last active there.So both are active on that site daily and what else would they be doing except retrieving messages from other men?

When it comes to meeting well I think I will go with Kuna/Ken C plan.I would invite to meet them in a neutral city, maybe Moscow or maybe Sochi (if Moscow is too far) meet both of them (and maybe a couple more who know).Just keep it to a friendly encounter. Keep a few days free in the trip to go and visit one in her home.
That leaves the possibility of potential embarrassment if I run into the other, well we can still be friends but just in case I will keep a couple of F-22 Raptors on standby

[Elen]

Off topic
Are you going to pay for their trips ( tickets, hotels in such expensivi cities like Moscow and Sochi ) or what? 

[DKMM]

Double off topic.  Why does everybody keep saying Moscow is such an expensive city?  Compared to where, Cairo?  Its a very reasonable place to visit and I plan to again soon.

[Mir]

Elen

Yes I would pay for everything and always have when in such a situation. Is that good or bad?

DKMM

I have been told by many that Moscow is the most expensive city in Europe. You disagree? Tell me some more in specific terms like accommodation, food, taxi etc.
Thanks

[Elen]

I do not know how good it looks like in males' eyes to pay for trip i he never never met woman in reality But from my female's viewpoint it's not good to accept money from strangers ( well bill in restaurants does not count  That's a "norm" )

PS
 Moscow and Sochi ARE expensive for local people How they are really "expensive" for foreigners I have not idea But I constantly hear their moaning about extra  200 rubles ( less than $10 )  they had to pay here or there 

in average
Hotels 4* not far from centre - not less than 150-250$ per night (better hire an apartments)

Taxi from SVO  ~ 70-80$ (without bagrain, Though may be different now But there is cheap possibility with public transportation )

Dinner in restaurant - ~ 30-40$ per person ( with alcohol)
McDonald -  - free of pay clean toilet
Shaurma on street - 2$ ( Drug to treat diarrhea ( Russian production) - 0,5$ per 20 capsule)

Taxi inside city - 10-20$
 Subway ( public transport) ~ 0,5$ per trip

Disclaimer - prices could be some different

[Mir]

Yes I know any self-respecting lady would feel uncomfortable in accepting money from a stranger.
Personally I don't think there is any need to give money directly.
For example tickets can be bought and paid for on line.
Accommodation and restaurants bill as you say are not a problem.
Those who like to moan will moan anywhere.

[Elen]

Not giving money directly could solve only a problem with "scammers"  But it does not change  a fact that money ARE taken from a stranger

( Also I didn't understand your plans to invite BOTH of them to other city Are you going to invite them in the same time? Or to share time between them?  And what to do in a case if that one you met first would not suit you at all ( or otherwise would suit you very well)

In other words I could only wonder to adventure nature of all of you 

[Mir]

Elen

Defiantly not invite both at the same time

Yes your second question is valid and there are many answers to that already been posted.I accept there is no single correct answer.
I agree one has to be adventurous to attempt anything like this.

'Life is too important a thing to be taken seriously' (Oscar Wild)

[BillyB]

Mir,

You may be talking pre-maturely of your plans. One women may all of a sudden drop you. If you feel you are ready to meet someone, don't tell them you want to visit them but give them a hint. Ask them "If we were to meet, where should we meet and what is your thoughts on what to do?" If she says she wants you to visit her in her hometown and meet her family and firends, she's thinking of you as a potential suitor for marriage. If she tells you she would think it's romantic to meet in Paris....., you could figure it out and dump any woman as necessary. Romantic vacations should be saved for girlfriends and wives, all you have now is a pen pal relationship.

Also call often, you might find one or both of these women aren't interested in talking to you much and thus you shouldn't visit them.

I also think you're making a mistake visiting a woman in a neutral place. You'll be missing out on her environment and seeing how she acts towards family and friends and how they act towards her. If you plan on marrying a woman, you need to meet her family and friends sometime, better sooner than later. You could also see how she lives and look for the signs if she's trying to put on a show or is the real thing. When I visited my fiancee, she was cutting up vegetables very quickly with a knife when preparing a meal. That told me she has real experience cooking. Other women may be clumsy in the kitchen but will try to unsuccessfully impress a man while he visits.

[Mir]

Billy

Thanks for the advice.
It will be taken into consideration as there is no final plan yet.

[Jazzyclassy]

Poor Mir , why you have chosen them so young? again this crazy topic of age , you may not respond , what about  just finding the 3 girl to finally settle this your interesting situation hahhaah:)

Maybe some 30 y.o woman who is living somewhere in another city:) why not? aaa?

Good  luck to you anyway, you are a nice person:)

[Mir]

JC

Cause the 30 year olds don't want me 

No seriously I have written to those over 30 as well but only to ones that don't have children and there were not many like that. The ones there were I have not received any or so far lukewarm responce.
Now you might say I am narrow minded to not consider those with children but somehow I feel that I may not be able to be a good father unless the child is with us from birth.
As I said people may criticize me for this but thats how I feel.....

[Kuna]

OK... sorry... lots of activity in this thread and I haven't had a chance to respond to some of it...

BillyB,

If I would have went with my gut feel before my trip I would have only met Ms D.  I think I knew before my trip but out of fear of failure (or fantasy) I decided to meet more than one.  Ms C was always interesting but my confidence was highest in Ms D.

Let me explain why.. and why it might not work for others...


Mir,

My process of correspondence was AWESOME.  Ms D and I discussed so many things in detail and shared so many ideas.  We had debates and we dissected each other well before we met. I knew she was "testing" me as much as I was testing her.  In our correspondence we never became romantic and that was something I admired about her.  Other girls I was writing to did become romantic and I stopped writing to them because I believe love is a serious matter, and it requires a serious person.  Call me harsh...  but I wanted someone who lives on fact more than fantasy.

Ms D had obviously decided that she wanted to purse a relationship when we met but she kept it at the friendship level up until meeting.  She'd planned for the trip by knitting the scarf for me and right from the first moments on the train platform she was just what I expected.


I will caution everyone to do a few things if you're going to take this path...  The quality of your communication depends on two things.  YOUR ability to write, share ideas, understand and analyse... and the ladies ability to do the same.

Ms D has good English, fluent German, has lived in Germany for 2 years and holds a responsible job with an International company.

If you write to someone who doesn't have the same communication skills my method won't work... but I was looking for someone with good communication skills.


Mir,  If possible I would meet them in their home town.  Keep it VERY much as friends.  Explain to the girls that you are serious about finding your future wife and that may happen during your trip, but YOU are a SERIOUS man and you know mutual compatibility is the most important thing.

I truly believe you need 1 meeting with a girl to know if there is the connection you seek. I say meeting because you are friends.  If it is a date you've moved further than that!

May I add one more thing???

I truly believe your chance of success depends on two things:

1. Your expectations, and;
2. The amount of preparation you do before travelling.

I say expectations because you need to know what you REALLY want and when you find it do not hesitate, second guess or think you should keep looking just in case someone better is around the corner. 

A part of the fantasy associated with this pursuit makes you think you should keep looking.  If you know what you want and find it... why not pursue that relationship?

Kuna

[I/O]

I feel that I may not be able to be a good father unless the child is with us from birth.
As I said people may criticize me for this but thats how I feel.....

Mir To take on a ready made family, particularly if you don't have children of your own, is a very tough decision to make and if it is something you don't want to do, then credit for making that decision and standing by it.  Taking a partner into your life is a huge decision, or at least should be, taking on a ready made family is an almost bigger decision and certainly involves complications one can not imagine during the search phase.

I suspect this is something many don't often think through until long after they should and again, I would say if it is something you feel you would prefer to avoid, then stick with that decision and don't sway.  Better to not have children and wish you did, than have children and wish you didn't.

I/O