Good books about understanding women and men

[alyosha]

From the book of life, my experience is this.  The last born in a family is often socially crippled by the too long attachment of the mother.  The older children always have a younger child that comes along and displaces them from their mothers attention.
In America we call this "being tied to the apron strings."
In the Bible it may relate to the saying "There comes a time when a man must leave his mother and father and take a wife."
Of my parents families and the know life histories of me and my cousins, five of six of the last born never succeeded in marriage to the point of having a child of their own.
The sixth case, one of my aunts, may prove to be the exception that proves the rule.
  She was the only one of the six life histories that turned out to produce children.  The reason may well have been that at age 8 she had an older sister who was slightly retarded and another one that had just been crippled by a stroke.  Her mother, my grandmother, was busy watching one mentally deficient youngster and teaching a 25-year-old woman to walk again.  So grandmother had to cut Loraine lose and let her care for herself.
Then there is the case of Flo and Flint.  Flo was a mother Chimpanzee and her last-born was Flint.  They were observed in the wild by Jane Goodall.
Flint was tied to his mothers’ apron strings.  When Flo finally died young Flint went into a fit of grief and died on his own within six weeks.
Mothers please be careful to give your last-born freedom to grow socially on their own.  Then the men and women who result will have successful adult relationships.

[MaryKuguk]

Hello, everyone.
The best way to learn more about Ukrainian and Russian women more - is to communicate more to them. So, I advice You to find a friend - a girl from these countries and to communicate to them. She can tell You more about our mentalities differences and men and women roles in these countries. I myself am a translator - but I found out that during creating an international relationship - the most important aspect is - to explain the man our countries traditions, than to translate everything perfectly.
If U need help or questions - ask. I will be glad to help and share experience.

[ML]

The last born in a family is often socially crippled by the too long attachment of the mother. 

And this applies to 'only child' also, since they are last (as well as first) born.

[ML]

. . . creating an international relationship - the most important aspect is - to explain the man our countries traditions . . .

It is important for man to learn something of traditions.  But during meetings is not  the time.  That time is for getting  to know  the person, not traditions.  So learning  traditions should occur before a trip.

And this applies equally to the woman.  Much talk here always about the man having to learn this and that about country and family traditions, but little mention that the woman has equal responsibility;  and maybe moreso since more frequently the couple ultimately live in the man's country.

[mendeleyev]

I don't know if it is still in print but Ken Nair's book "Understanding the Mind of a Woman" is not only old, but old fashioned and thus it works. Highly recommended.

[scottiestevie]

I agree with member WhyNot above.

http://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-David-Deida/dp/1591792576/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240750761&sr=8-1

One of the authors quotes is very powerful.  He says (not sure if this is exact quote, but..)
"Live your life as if your father were dead"

I believe the meaning behind this, is take responsibility in your own life to make your dreams come true.  No longer is your father around to be the leader of the family in which you grew up.  Its time to step up to the plate, take risks in life like a man should and make a women your wife so you can live all the happy moments when YOU are the father of your own family.

[mendeleyev]

There are great books and websites to assist with learning about Russia.

I will put in a self plug for the Mendeleyev Journal--many think of it as just news and commentary, but in reality we have 18 sections devoted to travel to Russia and Ukraine (everything from visas to trains to hotels to riding the Metros), 9 sections on Russian and Ukrainian food/culinary topics, 4 sections of culture and art, 15 sections on everyday life to media (including understanding important holidays, etc), 7 sections on Religion in Russia and Ukraine, 11 sections on learning Russian language (including our premier free resource directory), and then additional links to Russian movies with English subtitles. Be sure to check out the pages on celebrating the New Year and Christmas in the FSU.


Good books include:

From Nyet to Da, Understanding the New Russia. http://www.amazon.com/From-Nyet-Da-Understanding-Russia/dp/1877864161

The Russians                By Vladimir Zhelvis   The Russians, by native Russian Vladimir Zhelvis. http://www.xenophobes.com/the-russians/

Russia - Culture Smart! The Essential Guide to Customs and Culture. http://www.amazon.com/Russia-Culture-essential-customs-culture/dp/1857333527

Natasha's Dance: A Cultural History of Russia. http://www.amazon.com/Natashas-Dance-Cultural-History-Russia/dp/0312421958/ref=pd_sim_b_7?ie=UTF8&refRID=1EJ7CD8RDZH7B3ZETAHQ

The Semantics of Time in Russia by Dr. Anna Gladkova is an excellent paper delivered to foreign journalism students at Moscow State University if you can find it online.

Understanding Russia: The Holy Fool in Russian Culture by Eva Thompson. http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/308944?uid=2129&uid=2&uid=70&uid=4&sid=21105269123443
 
 



And for those who really want to go deep, beyond the surface, try the time-tested book list on former Guardian journalist James Meeks: http://www.theguardian.com/books/2005/sep/05/top10s.russia

[jone]

I read the Mendeyelev Journal religiously.   It is a good read and is a great source for learning all things Russian.

I even tried the Salmon with Apple Slices and Heavy Cream, but I added in pureed raspberries as an afterthought.  Yummy.

[mendeleyev]

Thank you, Jone.

Pureed raspberries sounds like a great addition!

I have, at least in summer, converted MIL to the practice of adding slices of fresh peach or apple when we saute Cod. I'll have to try them pureed as well.

[Madlen]

I agree with all.
Today there are a lot of books and lessons about relations.
Each writer expresses own  opinion and own experience.

But most important-to communicate with women.

I am Woman, so I can say: never say to woman "why?"
We do not know answer. And this question is stupid for us  .

Women-emotional beings.
We use brain, when we work or we need cross the street to a green light, or when we count money .

Basically we use the heart and intuition, because we know, what we need to do and we do this  .

I had boyfriend, who asked me all time:"Why you made this or this?"
It was horrible  .

At first I was patiant, then I explained him, that this question is forbidden for women  .

He was not glad. But then he said to me:"Yes, I remember other women, who said the same as you said!"

[MedMan]

Well, women and men aren't spaceships, there is nothing complicated in it.
If you have a problem which you don't know how to solve it, you can ask on forum, or ask by yourself from well known woman or man.
This is the best way of understanding, books is only one opinion that you can't discus with author and usually it is outdated opinion.

[MarinaSirena]

I want to recommend a book about woman*s nature)
I think its the best book i ve ever read describing what woman is

Probably its not very useful for understanding relationship but perfect for understanding women (if its possible )

*Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype*
by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

[msmob]

Men trying to understand women is like man flying under his own power like a bird ... few can do it and not for very long before one crashes and burns

...and yet we try ...

Thanks for the tip

[MarinaSirena]

Men trying to understand women is like man flying under his own power like a bird ... few can do it and not for very long before one crashes and burns

...and yet we try ...

Thanks for the tip

)))
anyway we have one more sucсessful approach by Oscar Wilde: “Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.”

[msmob]

Yes, but he was a 'blue boy' ))

[mhr7]

I want to recommend a book about woman*s nature)
I think its the best book i ve ever read describing what woman is

Probably its not very useful for understanding relationship but perfect for understanding women (if its possible )

*Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype*
by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

I enjoyed this book but can't say it gave me any tremendous insight into a woman's psyche.

If you liked this book then you may want to read The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston. I found it to be more to my liking, although it's been over 20 years since I've read it.

[qioux]

Men and women may not be from different planets.
There is a book named Men are from Venus women are from Mars.
You can get that after reading.

[msmob]

Men and women may not be from different planets.
There is a book named Men are from Venus women are from Mars.
You can get that after reading.

..and over 90 percent of the couples I knew who read that book subsequently divorced and many never re-married

[qioux]

you are right , maybe there's no need for marriage at all

[krimster2]

I have to recommend Kama Sutra
very well researched
a lot of what to me was original stuff
fun to delve into with an enthusiastic partner
but it assumes you have such a partner
without one, I'm afraid it'll be useless...

[msmob]

qioux

You should introduce yourself ..