What age would be preferrable to RW?

[I/O]

Mine will be 25+ when we marry, so if she is say 1 in 4, that means that 3 others getting married at the same time need to be 17 1/2 or younger to make the 19 1/2 Y/O average work out. Bugger if some guy married one 30 or older (I know of two guys here who have) because it would throw the numbers out even further.

Do the maths guys.....it's a load of BS. Gee Turbo, yours is positively a Babushka by these measures.

I/O

[jb]

Boy howdy, am I ever behind the curve~!!! Mine was 45+ when we finally married.  What does that do to your averages?

[I/O]

Boy howdy, am I ever behind the curve~!!! Mine was 45+ when we finally married.  What does that do to your averages?

"Eff's" em.

I/O

[KenC]

I never said that!
Whoever said that has faulty logic.

Blues Fairy,
Sorry for the mistake, the statistics came from Mocking Bird.
KenC

[jen]

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the long silence while I was out of town, but I see there has been plenty of activity while I was away.  I am going to start a new thread soon, but thank you for all of the thoughts so far.

jen

[AnastassiaAsh]

I believe we are all led by our self-esteem.  If Lily or anyone chooses to be pickier and shoot higher than their perceived "average", I would never consider it a "loss of time through wasteful procedures." 

Above-than-average results always require a little extra effort.

I think it couldn't be said better than that! Thank you Blues Fairy. 

TigerPaws, you are hungry for catching trolls, aren't you? I don't think it is the right person to blame this time....it takes for a person to have courage and convery some blunt ideas that can get some people closer to the truth... and the bats are already hitting so violently...

She loved you as strong man but will that still young woman love old and helpless, may be grumpy may be moody man?
Grumpy, moody? Hum sounds like most women with PMS, maybe that is your problem?

some verbal abuse here or what? You couldn't have come up with a wittier scratch? or maybe some of your gray matter muscles have shrunk at the end of the day that you condescended to this kind of remark?!   

The matter is that in essence her message is RIGHT. The problem here is that it was addressed to kind of wrong people, good people with good marriages, which is again an exception. This message is for hundreds of other men who are chasing girls... this is a very tight and private community and we mostly don't represent the majority...

We all remember that 'troll' from a trailer who fell in love with a model on the picture, we were so sure it was Fat Yuri scamming him and we all were shouting that that guy is a total looser, must get a job and all that...i still totally agree with that. BUT the same way it was so obvious for ALL OF US then and we started screaming - THE SAME WAY it is obvious for Mocking Bird and me and others with a healthy reasonable thinking that 20 years of difference is toooo much! And maybe in such cases a girl is more interested in something ELSE and a man is interested in something ELSE! At the end everybody gets what they deserve.

I am glad to know that this clue bat is not for the couples on this board, but many many others 

[TigerPaws]

This message is for hundreds of other men who are chasing girls... this is a very tight and private community and we mostly don't represent the majority...

Agreed AnastasiaAsh.

The majority of the men you and Blues Fairy are speaking to have not and are not visiting a forum such as this, then again I have not been talking about the average man who is fortunate to be able to walk, talk and breath at the same time.

TigerPaws

[TigerPaws]

TigerPaws, you are hungry for catching trolls, aren't you? I don't think it is the right person to blame this time....it takes for a person to have courage and convery some blunt ideas that can get some people closer to the truth... and the bats are already hitting so violently...

Blues Fairy has already stated her reason for posting on this forum and it has nothing to do with assisting others with finding a lady from the FSU. Additionally Blues Fairy has mad some very strong statements maybe even extreme would be a better term and yes she sounded very much like a Troll posting only to create controversy. I have sense withdrawn that assessment.

TigerPaws

[AnastassiaAsh]

You mean a Mocking Bird? Or both?

[TigerPaws]

You mean a Mocking Bird? Or both?

Maybe they are one in the same?

Mocking Bird sounds very much like a Troll, only time will tell.

TigerPaws

[Wayne B]

I think it couldn't be said better than that! Thank you Blues Fairy. 

TigerPaws, you are hungry for catching trolls, aren't you? I don't think it is the right person to blame this time....it takes for a person to have courage and convery some blunt ideas that can get some people closer to the truth... and the bats are already hitting so violently...
some verbal abuse here or what? You couldn't have come up with a wittier scratch? or maybe some of your gray matter muscles have shrunk at the end of the day that you condescended to this kind of remark?!   

AnastassiaAsh and Blues Fairy, the both of you are high quality women no doubt Sometimes there are men...or maybe a boy...that tries to speak in 'blue'....but, in defence of this...I suggest this person...may want to consider learning how to talk in 'Pink' since he/she knows all about what a woman goes through during menopause...but, I guess one can assume that he knows all about everthing...when he has gained wealth... with or without earning it ...I think that one's wealth is in one's heart not their bank account

[vwrw]

...it takes for a person to have courage and convery some blunt ideas that can get some people closer to the truth...

I am agreed it takes for a person to have courage and convey some blunt ideas that can get some people closer to the truth.
What I did not understand who you talk about? Who has said the blunt ideas that closer to truth? Each person has his own truth. And what is truth for one person may be foolishness for other.

... it is obvious for Mocking Bird and me and others with a healthy reasonable thinking that 20 years of difference is toooo much!

Too much? What for too much? A man who is 20 years older is not able to be a good husband, lover, friend and father?
And one more question: how do you categorize people to have or to not have the healthy reasonable thinking?  Does somebody have healthy reasonable thinking only if his/her beliefs are similar to yours?

[I/O]

The problem here is that it was addressed to kind of wrong people, good people with good marriages, which is again an exception

AnastassiaAsh: Unless I missunderstand this statement, you appear to imply if not outright openly state that within these Western/Russian marriages, good people with good marriages are an exception.  Let me spin this a little for a moment. Is there bad people with good marriages or good people with bad marriages or just bad people with bad marriages? Regardless, where "Pray Tell" is the factual evidence? On what trustworthy basis are these conclusions being drawn?

Anyone can write on an internet board and claim something to "Be So". Does that make it "So"? Does collective opinion always make it "So"? I come back to the questions I asked upthread? Where is the actual evidence to support the propositions being put forward in this thread? So far we have the Opinon of a few people who don't agree with a certain course of action.  I have no problem with their not agreeing with certain actions, but my clue bat in this thread has been wielded from a perspective of show me the evidence. Thus far we have none.

I/O

[Blues Fairy]

Additionally Blues Fairy has mad some very strong statements maybe even extreme would be a better term and yes she sounded very much like a Troll posting only to create controversy. TigerPaws

TP again you must be confusing me with someone else.  Who on earth would perceive my statements as extreme? Pure common-sense here, nothing else. But I guess that might actually appear extreme to you.

[Turboguy]

With no disrespect to TP at all, I do agree with you, BluesFairy, that I think he was confusing some of your posts with some of Mocking Birds.    I have not seen any extreme view espoused with your posts.

I see couples (not necessarily AM-RW) with older men, younger women, different races, beauty queens married to guys you would not expect them to give the time of day to, guys 5'2 with wives 6'6, handsome guys with wives that top 400 pounds. 

I think what everyone needs to keep in mind is that what you believe is right is just your opinion.   You have every right to believe it.   You have every right to share your ideas with others.   You have no right to decide if it is right or wrong for the rest of the world.   There will always be people who do things that seem strange and wrong to you.   The really strange and odd part is they will find a life full of happiness in following that course. 

A few days ago VWRW and I were sitting around killing time and visited a forum for single AM and AW.   We were laughing our fannys off because there was so much conversation about older American Women dating young men.   The part we were laughing about is VWRW was saying she understands why AM hunt for younger RW.   There are no AW left their age, they are all busy dating 20 year old men.   There really is some truth to that.

[jen]

Hi again everyone,

For my two cents, I haven't seen anything that looked like "trolling" to me here, just a range of opinions. I certainly welcome all of those comments -- I will have a better understanding of everything the more that this variety of experiences and views comes out, from both women and men.  Thanks to everyone for your comments.

j.

[AnastassiaAsh]

Wayne B - Thank you for your support, TigerPaws stirs this board pretty well...

VWRW - it is nice to see you started participating more and more, that's great. Answering to what you said. I was referring to Mocking Bird and her message about big age gap and what can happen later in the marriage.

Well, sorry Everybody, that i said "some blunt ideas that can get some people closer to the truth." Yes, i agree, there is no common truth, only that unique truth for that one person, I forgot for a second that there are people who might think that for example WWII was won by Americans and man evolved from apes....yes, sorry about that, truth is different for everybody. I should have said "some blunt ideas that can get some people closer to the truth TO MY ONLY OPINION".

20 years age gap is tooo much FOR ME, allthough i will always advise my clients to be very cautious if they are in that situation and tell them about all the risks that are involved, it will be for them to decide, always.

Of course a man 20 years senior can be a good husband and a lover, but that would be an exception, i am happy for you and your wonderful relationship that is based on LOVE most of all. I just sincerely wish there were more of these exceptions. I understand you are defending your case because it is real and true to you, of course, but i was just saying that THAT doesn't happen often, rarely, hardly... I am not crossing out all the great marriages with a big age gap who are on this board.

By the way are you Turboguy's fiancee? Just want to make sure? 

I/O - this is also what i meant by 'good people with good marriages', I just meant KenC and such, who are from this board. Well, I suppose, I don't know any bad people with good marriages, but i know plenty good people with bad marriages (woman suffers and he is a despot), and there are many bad people with bad marriages...

You are asking for the proof, should i mention people's names? I know this because i see this around me, both in the US and back in Moscow... You just have to believe me a little bit. Why? Because i am not just a girl who came on this board yesterday, i am not just practicing my English, being so young i have accomplish TWICE what others are still trying to do, I am pretty close to living American dream so to speak, my education and knowledge involves not only languages but psychology and philosophy and some other paralinguistic fields, so i might now just a little tiny bit more about what i am talking about, don't you think? Otherwise, why do both American men and Russian women are standing in line to talk to me about their circumstances and ask for help?

Again, I am not imposing my opinion, at the end of the day everybody does what they think is right, that's all, what ever they take from these boards is theirs.

[TigerPaws]

Again, I am not imposing my opinion, at the end of the day everybody does what they think is right, that's all, what ever they take from these boards is theirs.

AnastasiaAsh you are right all any of us can offer is our own experiences and opinion, what someone does with it is up to them.

TigerPaws

[Gator]

Anastasia Ash wrote,

Of course a man 20 years senior can be a good husband and a lover, but that would be an exception.

This is my first reply to you.  I take exception with your word "exception". 

I think a senior man can make, a better husband than a less experienced man in the sense of being a mentor, sage, partner as well as provider of security and stability.  For sure, he should know better than a younger man on how to charm her and make her feel fabulous.  However, some men are not good at this regardless of age and experience.

Being a good lover can frequently happen dependent upon the sexual chemistry and imagination between the two, but if a woman approaches nymphomania....no, and few men can.  There is also the question of physical attraction that most women need as well as want, so he should stay fit.  And while sex is important to all women, some women give it less than their top priority. nevertheless, all women should feel satisfied. 

The exception in my mind is about being a friend because interests may easily diverge over time.  Nevertheless, being a friend is more than playing together -  it also embraces understanding, respect, communication, honesty and reliability.

[vwrw]

... being so young i have accomplish TWICE what others are still trying to do, I am pretty close to living American dream so to speak, my education and knowledge involves not only languages but psychology and philosophy and some other paralinguistic fields, so i might now just a little tiny bit more about what i am talking about, don't you think? Otherwise, why do both American men and Russian women are standing in line to talk to me about their circumstances and ask for help?

Who did you imply you know more than they do???   Do you mean that you know more about what life is like for Mrs TP than TP does?   Or more about my life with Turbo then we do?  (Yes, I am Turbo's fiancee).   Do you have any experience with marriage to a man 20 years older?   If not how can you state you know what you are talking about.   Only people with trouble in their marriages go to ask for help to someone.   That happy people don't come to you do not mean that they do not exist.  

As regarding education I have a degree of psychology as well so it is questionable if you know who of us know more.  However, I should admit I am not so good at blowing my own horn as you do.

Yes, i agree, there is no common truth, only that unique truth for that one person, I forgot for a second that there are people who might think that for example WWII was won by Americans and man evolved from apes....yes, sorry about that, truth is different for everybody.

Do you want to say that someone who consider Mocking Bird's comments and questions to be naive is as wrong as those who consider that WWII was won by Americans?? or what did you bring the comment here for?

20 years age gap is tooo much FOR ME, allthough i will always advise my clients to be very cautious if they are in that situation and tell them about all the risks that are involved, it will be for them to decide, always.

Of course a man 20 years senior can be a good husband and a lover, but that would be an exception,

Did I understand you correctly, you think a man has less ability to be a good husband the older he become?    Maturity, experience and knowledge do not provide ability to be a good husband in your opinion then?

You still have not answered my question about 20 years is too much.   Too much for what.   For what are you going to "use" your husband.  For moving furnature?    

[Jazzyclassy]

I think it is obvious  that people have their own opinion there is no need to insult and initiate  poor mean attaks  VWRW , I think you've created a great phsycological experiment not so long time ago with your Gemini syndrom...... I think that was enough

Please be happy with your fiancee just do not express this happiness is this agressive way as you do

[KenC]

I think it is obvious  that people have their own opinion there is no need to insult and initiate  poor mean attaks  VWRW , I think you've created a great phsycological experiment not so long time ago with your Gemini syndrom...... I think that was enough

Please be happy with your fiancee just do not express this happiness is this agressive way as you do

Jazzy,
You need to work on your English, sweetie because there is nothing insulting or mean or attacking in VWRW's post.  You seem to misinterpret challenging debates greatly.  VWRW is simply challenging Anastassia's opinion.  Besides, Anastassia is a big girl and doesn't need you to fight her battles. Anastassia stated her opinion and now VWW has stated hers.  Both have qualified themselves too.  You are seriously over sensitive in identifying insults and many times wrong. Relax.
KenC

[TigerPaws]

Jazzy,

 I believe the issue is that you and other's do not approve of an age difference larger than you (and other's) are willing to accept. The point is that there is no norm, no standard, everyone is diffeent in what they believe is right for them and everyone is right in that befief. There is no right or wrong with this issue only what works for each person and couple, there are no exceptional people only people who have decided they are happy together and are willing to work as a team to make the relationship work.

TigerPaws

[Mir]

For what are you going to "use" your husband.  For moving furnature?

You mean TG is no good at moving furniture? darn I was hoping to ask him to help out next time I move my house

[Turboguy]

Jazzy, Ken is right.   VWRW was not trying to attack Anastasia at all.   We like her and respect her.   She is almost going to be VWRW's neighbor (in the big scheme of things) and Anastasia translated VWRW's birth certificate for the interview we have next month.   By the way we are not sure what a Gemini Syndrome is and both Google and M-Webster on line dictionary could not help us but I don't think it is important anyway.

Tiger Paws hit the nail right on the head.   Those of us who try to defend age differences are not trying to defend age differences in any way.   We would not recommend it for most people and not suggest it for anyone.   We just don't agree that something is wrong because someone else feels it would be wrong for them.    It is not evil.  It is part of being a human being.

Mir,  Shh,  make her think I can't move furniture.   It sounds like a good excuse to me.   

PS.   If anyone needs their documents translated I would recommend Anastasia totally.