hello there I am new to this and looking for advice

[tjk]

   Hello there everyone. This is the first time that I have done this so please bear with me. I am recently divorced and have been talking with some girls from the Ukraine and am now planing a trip there to meet them and would like to know what to expect and everything, this would be the first time for me to leave the U.S. and go oversea's. So I am very green on everything.

[ScottinCrimea]

Welcome, tjk! If you're looking for some good advice, you've picked the right place.  There are many here who can help.  I've lived in Ukraine and am married to a Ukrainian woman so I may be in a position to offer some help, as are many others here.  We'll need more specifics, though.  How recently divorced?  Where in Ukraine (not "the" Ukraine) are you planning to visit?  Are you working with any agencies?  Who are you using to plan your travel details?

Be sure to read through the FAQ's and browse the forum for information that would be useful.  Above all, expect a real adventure, especially if this is your first trip outside the US and your first contact with Ukrainian women.

[Vaughn]

    I am recently divorced and have been talking with some girls from the Ukraine

Talking or writing? You'll find much good advice here, tjk, although it's not always
what the new guy wants to hear. In light of your recent divorce, and not knowing your
situation at all, I'll advise patience - in all things related to new relationships, and not
just international ones. Tell us a bit more about how you're communicating.

Oh yeah....Welcome!

Vaughn

[tjk]

Well lets see I have been divorced for about 2 months now and the girls that I have talked to know this also. I am going to start in Kiev and was then thinking about taking the train to Odessa and then back to Kiev to fly back home. I meet them on the Anastasia web service. I am pretty much doing everything on my own for now. I do not know if this is smart or stupid.

[neo]

Anastasia?

oh dear.

dons flameproof suit.

here we go.

you know you'd be better off joining:

Hot Russian Bears!

more chance of meeting a bear than a decent girl through aweb.

[I/O]

TJK: Firstly, welcome to RWD. You will find this board the best resource regarding the pursuit of an international and particularly an FSU partner. There is a wealth of practical experience and advice available here.

The first thing you need to do is establish whether or not the person you are writing to is real or not.  Please read the FAQ section and then read up about scams.  It can be a minefield for inexperienced guys.  You NEED help and much of what you need is here.  Reading will save you a fortune in time, resources and emotions.

You really must get reading.  All the best.

I/O

[Turboguy]

Yes, read a bit before you buy your plane tickets.   Neo criticizing A-Web cracks me up.  Anastasia is not our favorite choice.   You may find one or more of the girls that are dying to meet you don't even exist.   Have a back up plan such as the contact information for Kiev Connections or Elena's when you are in Kiev.  I don't know of any good agencies in Odessa but Kherson is not real far and the contact info for Kherson girls might be worth having along.

Forget the train to Odessa unless you have someone who will help you get the tickets and get on it.  After a few trips the train is a great option.   You have lots of time for more advice so I won't make this real long for now.

[neo]

Turboguy cracking up for me criticising aweb cracks me up even more.

I know you are a bit of a gravedodger Turboguy and your memory might be slightly impaired through age and too much inhalation of avgas on all those years worth of dodgy sibir air flights round the FSU kindergartens but when i met my wife through HRB, HRB was new kid on the block and out to impress and AWEB was the big bad dirty wolf of the dating world.

Everyone was very impressed by HRB original claims that they weren't going to be like AWEB.

of course its ironic now, but lets face it back in the 1920's (you were around then you must remember turboguy) someone was probably sat in the pub saying "that hitler chap is a good bloke isn't he!"

For the record i never used Aweb, i reckoned something stank in Denver from the minute they started that charade. at least HRB started out with some credibility which they chose to pXXX up the wall, but thankfully after i left.

and if things don't work out with your current adventure turboguy i can sort you out a lovely hairy bear from Hot Russian Bears. Shes very young, right up your street. give you a bear hug, even come and visit you in the old boys home, theres a treat for you, hottest bear in the OAP line

[neo]

By the way to the original poster,

I would steer welll clear of Odessa via aweb or many others. The agency that deals with odessa region for aweb is the same ageny that deals with aweb for HRB and RLM, and there have been some many trip reports that the whole agency is basically a front for scamming, fake profiles, pro daters and so on. More than one guy has turned up to find the girl who was "madly in love with him" or "dying to meet him" had either skipped town "just that morning" or could "only meet for 10 minutes" due to an urgent appoitnment, and was as cold as a bears nuts in a siberian paddling pool on new years day.

HRB is riddled with "pro chatters" who spend all theri time soliciting guys (even blue pick up trucks) for chat at all hours of the night and day, and guess where tehy all came from? Odessa region.

I think you will do better in Kyiv and a couple of other regions, there are some good agencies in crimea, but that specific agency that deals with Aweb and HRB is the wrost i have known about since the lugansk days and that Baranova woman.

[ScottinCrimea]

While many men have had success in Odessa, I think there are a higher percentage of problems for foreigners there with the agencies and with safety issues than in many cities in Ukraine.  They are maybe too accustomed to foreigners and and how to separate them from their money.  If you do find someone there that you want to visit, I wouldn't take the train alone the first time. After you know the ropes, great, and it's a nice way to travel, but there are too many things you have to know and if you don't know Russian it can be a little difficult.

If this is your first time to the FSU, you really need someone to help you get around.  At the very least have all of your reservations in advance and an English speaking driver to meet you at each place and get you from point A to point B.  My biggest surprise the first time I traveled to Ukraine was how little my English helped me.  My first trip I met no other person who spoke much English at all and saw no menus in English.

Neo mentions some good agencies in Crimea but I only know of one that I can recommend.  It is:

http://www.3g-introductions.com.  It was formerly Athena Agency and is based in Sevastopol.  So far I have heard no negatives about them and they provide contact information with no problem, which is a must if you work with any agency. Anyone else have any experience with this agency?

Having been divorced a couple of times myself, I know that 2 months is still the rebound period and you have to be very careful and take it very slow.  I don't know your details, but some things are pretty universal.  My second marriage was somewhat of a rebound one and was a disaster. The old saying, " get back up on that horse" doesn't apply.I started communicationg with my now wife about 2 months after my divorce but took a year to finally go to meet her (too long and not recommended) and knew her for another 1 1/2 years before I married her.

If you are willing to take it slow, do your homework and keep thinking with the big head, you are on the brink of a great new experience and will find something in FSUW that you have never experienced before.  You have taken a great first step by finding this forum.  You now probably know more than I did when I started out.

Remember, the more details you provide us, the better we can help you.  But also be aware that the more you tell, the more some here will find to jump on and criticize.  Keep a thick skin and you'll be the better for it.

[Bruce]

If you are hot on Ukraine I suggest you talk to the guys who married a girl from Ukraine or are living there married.  Next search the Angelica network.  Concentrate on girls from the cities of Kharkov, Poltava, Dnepropetrovsk and some of the other Eastern Ukraine cities perhaps not yet as trolled over.  Jack is another good guy who can help in a pinch in Ukraine as well. 

[tjk]

I would like to thank all for the help with this and I am a little nervous about all of it. The one girl that I am the most serious about I have talked to on the phone twice and she lives in Nikolaev and is going to meet me in Kiev for 4 days. The other girl is from Odessa and I have not been able to reach her on the phone and I have a few reservations about her but the one from Nikolaev has sent me a few pictures and has always been there when I have called. I have been completely honest with her about my divorce and everything so there are no surprises there. I guess the train is a little complicated?

[I/O]

I guess the train is a little complicated?

Language will be your issue.  If you are an experienced traveller you might be able to bluff your way through, but otherwise, you'll probably need assistance.

I/O

[Turboguy]

TJK, for a newbie you are doing a lot of things right so don't be too nervous.  I think the plan to do two cities is good.   I am not so sure your second city is a good choice or that your second girl is real.   The Kiev gal sounds real.   I would think about some of the other cities in Ukraine, Lviv, Dnepr, Kherson, Kharkov, or others.  You have time to find some good women or could just go and use an agency to line you up with a lot of good women.  

I love traveling by train there but I would never recommend it for someone on their first trip traveling alone.   Here are the snags.   The signs are all Cyrillic.   The ladies selling the tickets usually don't speak English.   Buying the ticket, finding the train, finding your seat on the train and knowing when to get off are not all that easy if you don't speak the language.   Flying, the ticket agents usually speak English and the announcements are most often in both English and Ukrainian.  Going from the International terminal to the domestic one is a two minute walk.  The only place language is an issue is traveling by train.

When Scott mentioned safety issues he was not talking about a risk of you being killed or anything.  It is safer there than most big US cities.  

[tjk]

 I will admit that the women of Ukraine are very interesting and they have not waviered once about anything that I have told them about me or my past. I am very willing to take everything slow because I do not wish to make another mistake since I have been married now twice. But that does not seem to bother them for some reason.

I assume that Anastaisa is not the chioce of many???

[Maple Leaf]

I will admit that the women of Ukraine are very interesting and they have not waviered once about anything that I have told them about me or my past. I am very willing to take everything slow because I do not wish to make another mistake since I have been married now twice. But that does not seem to bother them for some reason.

I assume that Anastasia is not the choice of many???

tjk, I am new to this process as well.  Awhile back, I joined Anastasia Web and corresponded with one woman.  Then after one month her profile was taken off the website out of the blue.  I had no explanation given to me as to why her profile was removed. One month later, I get a letter response through AWEB from her.  When I clicked on the letter, it took one credit away from my account and it was an introduction letter!  It's as if we never even corresponded at all in the past.  I confronted AWEB about this deceivable practice, and they apologized to refund one credit back.   

After finding out the truth about AWEB's practices, they stopped sending me ladies introduction letters to try and get me to waste more of my credits.  Anastasia Web is a scam, only interested in taking foreign men's currency and not interested in truly matching two people interested in a possible serious relationship.  I have heard stories on this board where their socials are even worse.  Most are all pro daters who will date you in the Ukraine for your money by having you buy those gifts and expensive meals in restaurants.  Then you have the scammers who attend these tour socials.  I believe Turbo Guy may have gone on one of their tours awhile back and can shed some more light about AWEB.   Listen to the advice of the people who have been through this process for years.  They will impart a lot of wisdom for you and this will help you by not making the same newbie mistakes others have in the past. 

As everyone said here, read on the forums about everything before going, and then read some more!  You will learn a lot of useful information on RWD.  You and I are both lucky to have found this site before ever stepping foot in the FSU. Good luck with your search.

[Turboguy]

When you don't have a resource like RWD to compare notes with others you have to rely on the agency hype and advertising you run into.  That of course is a bunch of propoganda.   Neo likes HRB.   The other 2000 of us would not even think about Anastasia or HRB.   Elena's Models is probably the one you will hear the most positive things about but there are a lot of good smaller agencies that know their women personally and operate in a fair and ethical way.   I won't give a list of the smaller agencies that people have had good luck with (unless you ask), but reading through the posts here you will have no difficulty finding out who they are.

[tjk]

The whole thing kinda sounds like a shot in the dark. So what should one do about the women that I have talked to on A-web. I don't really have any bad feelings about the one from Nikolaev as she has always been there and written me right back and has always been there when i have called as well.

I am thinking that they are all after your money no matter which site you would use and that with a little luck you might find a jewel???

[Turboguy]

It is never a slam dunk no matter what agency you use but the one you are using does raise the risk.  Go where you think you have a good choice but have a back up plan.  There are several agencies in Nikolaev you could visit if she turns out not to be real.

What has happened to a lot of people that has turned many of us off to A-Web is that guys find this wonderful girl, spend a lot of money writing her or calling and make a trip and right before they go all of a sudden she vanishes or the go there and she is not available and when they pin her down she has never heard of the guy even though he thought he was writing her and talking to her. 

Once in a while someone falls into a gem with little effort.  For the rest of us it may take some work but in the end it is more than worth it.   Don't get discouraged but do make sure you get smart. (you are well on the way now)

[Maple Leaf]

Not all women are pro daters or scammers in the FSU.  They make up a small percentage of the overall women who are serious about this endeavor.  There is always the possibility of meeting these women, but you have to prepare yourself by reading these forums to see what the red flags are.  The FAQ will be a good source for you to start.

Try to cut Anastasia Web out completely while on your visit.  If you need help with translations, and other useful services ask the many members here who they have used and can recommend for help.

Stick with your plan to visit the lady you have been talking to over the telephone, but make sure you have a back up plan!  There is nothing worse then going across the other side of the world to have this woman not be interested in you after months of correspondence.  It does not matter if you have a good rapport over the telephone, email, or letters....if you do not click within the first three minutes of meeting one another in person, you will never be compatible.  She will stay with you out of obligation, as you are her guest.  However, she will not show any passion towards you and will be patient until you finally leave Ukraine. 

That is why you make sure to always have a back up plan.  If you both are not feeling the chemistry it is easier to let go early on.  Then, make sure to have contact with other reputable people or agencies to help you search while on the ground in the FSU.  There is nothing worse then you being alone without any prospects in a foreign country. 

After reading some of the stories from the trip reports here, I can at least learn to always have a back up plan.  Even though I have never been to the FSU, many here can attest to making sure you have the back up plans in place. 

[I/O]

The whole thing kinda sounds like a shot in the dark. So what should one do about the women that I have talked to on A-web. I don't really have any bad feelings about the one from Nikolaev as she has always been there and written me right back and has always been there when i have called as well.

I am thinking that they are all after your money no matter which site you would use and that with a little luck you might find a jewel???

If you are not clued in, it is just that, a shot in the dark.  I've always advocated a freshman should make his first trip primarily as a tourist and meeting a lady/s being of secondary importance.  What you need to understand is that the chances of meeting Miss Right on a first trip are very slim indeed.  Possible but........  Be prepared for the idea that if you really want to do this thing, you will be in for a few trips.

There is a million ways to do this and many have been argued back and forth.  My suggestion is the lowest risk way of making a first trip is to line up one or more ladies for a meeting and get involved with an "All Service" agent.  This way you have logistical backup for Terps, guides, hotels, tickets etc if you need it, And.......if your meetings go south, you can then arrange to meet with various ladies through the agent.

No, they are not ALL after your money. But there is a percentage of less than desirable women out there and you need to be aware of that.  Luck to find a jewel. Probably true, but I have tended to notice that the people who spend time getting smart, often get lucky also.  This is not a 5 minute Turkey shoot.  Russia and Ukraine are not vast "Bride Shops" and you will most likely have to search long and hard to find a partner. Take a long view of all this if you want to succeed.  A quick meeting and marriage can produce a quick divorce.  Sounds like you don't need more practice at that.

I/O

[tjk]

So then about the one that is in Odessa. Should I have her meet me in Kiev as well. I have mentioned it to her and she thought that was a bad idea because she would not be able to spend much time with me there but then she also has only said that she would only be able to spend 2 days with me anyway.

A little about the age thing also please. I am 39 and the ladies are 27 and 22 and 21.  Any thoughts about that??? The 27 year old is the one that I would be more serious with and she has also been divorced also.

I would appreciate any translator services as well..

I am very happy that I have found this site tonight. This is a really great thing.

[I/O]

A little about the age thing also please. I am 39 and the ladies are 27 and 22 and 21.  Any thoughts about that??? The 27 year old is the one that I would be more serious with and she has also been divorced also.

  Go search around the site and find one or the maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaany threads where age gaps are debated.  Form your own conclusions. FWIW I was 39 when I first got serious about this thing and I put a lower limit of 28 on my search criteria. Then I went and did another thing. Time will show if that has been completely stupid.

I/O

[tjk]

I admit that I have always had a fascination with FSU so I have always wanted to go there and see everything that I could and I am looking at my trip there as something that I have always wanted to do and I have it in my head that if she turns out to be the one then that would be a bonus to my trip .

But I do think that I agree with everyone that I should also have a back up plan and would like every ones opinion as to what way to turn there???

[Turboguy]

Let me talk about the age thing first.   If your concern is the age difference none would be real extreme compared to what others have done.   10 -  15 is pretty common and 18 is more than many would want but in and of itself is not going to set a record by any means.    Women there are often a little more mature and a little more focused on the future than here however many of the under 25 set are not really ready to settle down and many guys avoid them.   Lots of guys will look hardest at 25 or 26 and up. 

As far as the back up plan and what it should be I would suggest having the contact information of a few good local agencies.   If you meeting quickly shows you have no chemistry and no future don't be afraid to just face the fact and end things.   Go visit the local agency and they will have books you can look through and you can pick out the ones you want to meet.   Let's say you pick out 12 gals who's photos and info you like.  They will set up meetings any you may find about half will meet you.   You pay nothing for the ones who can't meet you but will pay a small fee to meet the ones who will.   It may be in the $ 20 - $ 40 range per meeting.  Some agencies may charge more but I don't think most do.  They can also supply you with an interpreter if you need one.   

I will mention that I know a good and reasonably priced interperter I could connect you with in Kiev if you need one there.