hello there I am new to this and looking for advice

[tjk]

Hello everyone,
Sorry I was out of town for a couple of days bit now I am back and ready to get down to business. I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to write me and give there advice. You all have probably saved me and for that I thank you.

I do still write to a couple of other girls and now I am in the process of trying to further our relationships. With a little luck they are not any relation to the other two girls. 

It is a little frustrating to know that there are girls like that out there but they are in the US as well. So I guess that is nothing to new there, but it is a little different when it is not on your home turf..

Any new girls that I now write to will speak English, I agree with this being my first trip to FSU that would make everything much easier. And who knows maybe she still might be the one. One can never rule that out since I would still like them because I wrote to them for more than just that reason alone...

It is still very tempting to continue playing with the other girls but there really is no need to spend the money and time and effort in writing to them. But it would be fun to play


I do like the idea of WOVO that is a little more my style. But I can also see the value of meeting more than one WMVM. But one could also run into the problem of really liking more than one and then what would you do????

I do not know if it would be a mistake to write to women that have really high degree's like doctors and lawyers or not since I do not have a degree in anything but the hard knocks of life, I think that I just received my masters in that from my ex wife with the games that she was playing. So do you think that I should try for the high educated ones also or stay with the lower ones??? Do not what them to think badly of me or that I am below them just for there piece of paper?? Not that I disrespect there degree but there are many reasons that are out of my control as to me not having a degree but that is now done and over. But I have known a few people who think that they are better than some because they have a degree in something and someone else does not..

[neo]

TJK,

A girl i am involved with now is doing her degree and TBH shes the smartest girl i ever met, much more clever than me but thats not hard because im artistic more than academic.

I was with anotehr girl who had a law degree who was as dumb as a sack of coal.

So you cannot really go on "degrees" as a benchmark of intelligence, it just shows good academic skills. I think you will find thats the point of letters - you will get a quick feel for how well you are able to converse to each other and how much common ground you have.

WMVM or WOVO depends on your situation, your confidence, and your timeframe. I've done both. For a first trip when finding your feet WOVO can be all too much and WMVM can be a good way to find your feet, but i always think its a mistake to go with the intention of pulling the trigger on teh first trip. Basically i think your first trip and time together is the opportunity to indentify a girl, or not that you then want to move forward and explore a exsclusive relationship, that may involve more trips just to see that girl or some holidays spent together - the less time you spend on evaluation the more risk you place on long term failure so try and look at it as the first selection stage for you both.

The easiest way to get WMVM into your head is like its a "speed dating" thing, you are going to go and have a short meeting with each girl to find out if you have a connection, then you are maybe going to spend a bit more time with less girls until you find hte one you have the most connection with, then you are going to look at taking that forward.

WOVO is all about knowing exactly what you want, getting to the point in communication that you think you are compatible then taking a huge roll on the dice that everything will work out and you will have chemistry.

[jb]

tjk,

But I have known a few people who think that they are better than some because they have a degree in something and someone else does not..

I don't think you will see that trend in the FSU.  Mostly because higher education is pretty common there.  However, and I once did a fairly extensive treatise on the topic,,, long since consigned to the trash bins of forum history, but there are only 4 really major big league Universities in the FSU, virtually everything else is a trade school.  So if you stumble up on a smokin'hotkova who strikes your fancy don't be put off by her profile that lists a degree in economy from Eastashcan U.

[tjk]

I know that my ex is a great example of thinking that she was better than some people just because she had a degree, and that was just a business degree, anyone could get one of those. But that was not even close to some of her best and biggest faults. So I guess that I will not worry about her education level because hopefully she would like me for me not was is in my head or on the wall.

I guess one of the hardest things about the WMVM is just me. I grew up in a very small town where of course everyone knew what and who you was doing before you even did. I know what it feels like to be cheated on and for some reason I also associate the WMVM with that a little for some reason. I guess it is really silly to associate the two because of course you are not really going out with anyone so whats the big deal, other than me... I understand the speed dating thing, just never been in that situation before and I guess that it makes me a little nervous. I have always known the girls that I have been going out with for a long time so this is all a little new to me. But see what that has gotten me in the past as well, two strikes there.

I know that I will not pull the trigger on my first trip. I guess that I would like to find someone that I would really click with and someone that I would like to spend the rest of my life with. But I also know that it will take time to be sure if they are the one or not. I know that it is not a race which is really good because I can not run very fast and would probably lose, in all ways...

[neo]

tjk,

i think what you probably need more than anything is a matchmaker in the proper sense. From what i gather from your post you are not an altogether confident dater, and you dont feel comfortable with some of the cultures that go with teh territory of what most agencies do. YOu need a agency who are prepared to learn about you, and to an extent go at your pace, a good agent will see how you get one with a certain girl and if they know their girls well will know the girl they think you might be well suited for and can adapt who you meet on that basis.

in that respect i would look towards people at the smaller agentices, rvrwind, kherson girls, and some others rather than the big give us your money we dont care warehouse types.

you are the sort of guy who needs to be in the hands of people who care about you as a person and not a wallet, i think if you dont go to a proper matchmaking agency then you might get hurt in the process.

i used a lady at russian enigma to meet my wife, she deals a lot with guys in your position and shes incredibly patient, open and caring in her apporach to matching a guy and a girl, she really sat down and counselled me and my wife during our courtship about what we wanted and how we should achieve it, and she was incredibly patient and a fantastic listener, she never judged and always made time to be at the end of the phone to listen to my concenrs, she really put in 100 percent effort to making sure we were a happy match together. you could do far worse than choose someone like that to help you in this, but whoever you choose i would certainly go for someone you feel is offering you a good service and can be a friend to you when you are over there as well as taking the money, because sometimes a complete stranger who is good at what they do liek a proper matchmaker as opposed to a moneymaker is what you need when you have nobody else to talk to and need to talk through your situation.

maybe something for you to think about.

[tjk]

I will admit that I do get a little, well maybe a lot nervous and a little shy when I meet someone new especially a attractive girl that I like. So sometimes I think that I might be a little hard to get to know right off the start till I get a feel for the girl. Then I can relax a little and open up but for the speed dating thing I feel that I might not do very well in that area since I like to have a pretty good feel for the other before I really let go and start to have fun.

So I do not know if it is really a self confidence thing I am just a little careful. I do have a little of a dirty mind and I am always worried that I might say something that might offend someone so I figure that it is safer to stay a little quite and get a feel for them first.

It does kinda suck coming from a small town where you know everyone but dating was easy then because you already knew them but now this is all new territory for me and I do feel a little like a fish out of water. But I am trying to adapt to the situation because that is the only thing to do. No other choices so improvise, adapt and overcome.

It has been about 17 years since I have had to find a girlfriend now. But before that it was easy to have a girlfriend because I was always the nice guy, which bit me in the a@# more than once because I would get the don't want to lose a friend speech. So yea it sucked being the nice guy sometimes as well..

But I have always thought that being the nice guy would always work out in the end, but you know what they say about nice guys, we always finish last. But then good things always come to those who wait