SCAM & DECEIT gets more refined - READ THIS PLEASE!!!

[FSUrookie]

Ok guys... here's a MAJOR update to my thread... And PLEASE, guys do not throw anything at me, I am only giving you the latest, for what it is worth at this point. Ok here goes....

Finally, I have spoke to Maria just minutes ago on the phone long distance (with her friend Alona helping with translating).
Here is basically what transpired;
1) Maria said that the guy in the photo was a one-time thing to help a friend. A friend at her University wanted to date this guy and she had Maria go with him to see his peronality and test him. Maria gave her number to this guy to see if he would call her back and what story he would giver her and her friend that also wanted to date him. Basically she wanted Maria to check out the guy for her since the man did not post a photo in the initial ad.
ADDITIONAL INFO: She told me that her and this guy (Kim) in the photos I posted in this thread, that he and her only dated one time. I verified this with my source, and this is true. According to my source, she told Kim that she was very much interested in seeing him again. However, Kim did not call her back because he was interested in one of the other girls that he met in Kharkov. So both her and my source in Kharkov confirm that this was a single date.
2) In regard to the other web site that she was posted on, she said that she had asked this agency to remove her last year, after we became serious, and that that agency only kept her on there to make money off of her photos. She said she would be contacting that agency to remove her photos and profile.
3) Maria claims the story went like this. After she returned home from Crimea with me, a few days later she told her mom that she really loved me and that she was going to move to the United States with me, and that she was 100% sure of me and her future with me. However, after her talk with her mom, her mom convinced her that there was too much to fear living away from mom. And her mom suddenly changed her opinion about me! Thus she became afraid and confused and undecided (typical for a 19 year old there). Thus she changed her mind about moving to the United States and me.
4) After today, and all the events that have unfolded, and my words to her on the phone asking many questions and giving my reasons for being upset and concerned, she said that she still had feelings for me, and asked if I would still be able to talk to her without any regret. She said that she needed a few days to think about everything. I said that I am willing to hear what she had to say, and thus we will talk again on Wednesday.

Ok guys....RIP away, seriously you guys have all been great and your feedback confirms that I should have known better (we should all know better) than to mess with a FSU girl under 25.

With that, I want to share a few emails that me and Maria exchanged in our final days..... Over the last year, all of our emails had the same warmth, except her last email to me....

THIS ONE WAS JUST 3 DAYS BEFORE SHE CHANGED HER OPINION, FROM NIGHT TO DAY!!!!!
 
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ryzhkova Masha"
To: John
Sent: Monday, August 20, 2007 4:03 AM
Subject: Reading these warm words...makes me feel so good!
 
Reading these warm words...makes me feel so good!
Hello my everything!
Thanks a lot for your great e-mail! I am very happy with you, coz you are  a special one in the whole Universe only mine forever!
  How is everything going? Thanks for understanding my lovely! You always try to understad me, I respect it so much! You are so sweet! I respect you very very much, cos you have all qualities I want see in my half - you!
   I ll start my studying at the university from 1 of September! I ll have to learn a lot! But I must do it for future! Its very important that I am developing, becoming more and more clever!
Many sweet kisses
Have a lovely day my best!
Maria
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----- Original Message -----
From: "John"
To: Maria
Sent: Monday, August 21, 2007 10:05 PM
Subject: You give me a warm heart, full of love
 
Hello my lovely Maria!
Thank you for your reply email! I enjoy to write you and share my feelings about you because I care for you very much, and you are the world to me, and you are my soul-mate for life! Of course, I am always glad to make you happy, and I also feel your warmth and kindness in my heart and in my body. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful woman to soon be my wife!
 
I wish you the best for your university studies. I know that you will do well because you are very smart and clever. I will always be proud of you and your efforts!
 
Well, I hope that your family is doing good. I give them my cheerful greetings.You know, In each letter that you send me, I feel your presence within my heart and thoughts and body.  Each day, I look forward to when we are always together! I am yours forever and I want to make you happy my dear Maria! I need you in my life and I want to give you much happiness and joy!
 
My best Maria, I will write you again soon and share more of my daily news and activities, and I will await your next email letter and SMS. I love to receive your kind and wonderful words and feelings and letters. Please continue to tell me about all your feelings my darling! You are the best Queen in the world! We belong to each other for all of eternity:..
 
Missing you, needing you,
With love,
Your John :-)
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THE SHOCKER!!!
 
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ryzhkova Masha"
To: John
Sent: Monday, August 24, 2007 5:46 AM
Subject: Re: You give me a warm heart, full of love
 
  Hi John,
 
 Hope you are fine, all the time I spend with you was wonderful, you made for me really a lot, and I really appreciate it, but now in my life become hard time for me, my mother want us to move to Germany, that all our family move to Germany. So for this reason I had change my surname to my mother's surname, because my mother wanted it and I couldn't go against her words. I mean you are really good person, you are wonderful, but suddenly my mother've changed her opinion about you, and she against our relations, she wants I be near her all the time. And I'll have to move to Germany with our family, it is a close topic, I can't argue about it.
  You mast understand it is very hard for me, but I have to say you that we have to stop our relations. I was thinking a lot about it, earlier I was thinking I could do this, but now I anderstan I can't like this, it is very important and hard and painful step for me. But you know maybe it is right, we have a very different culture, and I couldn't move to USA, it's too difficalt for me, I don't really feel for it, I am sorry, but I have to say that we have to stop our relations. I am really sorry that I took so much of your time, firstly I really though I could, but after talk with my mother I understand that i can't. I am really sorry, but we have to accep it, hope you can understand me. Sorry,
 You are a good person and I'm sure you'll fine your couple, I'm sure there are a plenty of women who wants to be with you,
 
I wish you all the best in your life , I am really really sorry  
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[I/O]

FSUrookie: It appears to be just the swings and roundabouts of a 19 Y/O. Kids wave with the breeze.

It'll take time for you, but bury it and move on. It's the only way forward and there is no turning back.

I/O

[FSUrookie]

Yes! Exactly I/O, "the swings and roundabouts of a 19 Y/O Kid" .....

[wxman]

FSU,

I think the last letter from her says it all. You must do what you think is right, but if I recieved the last letter, I would not look back. Even if she still has feelings for you, she is 19, and the heartbreak (if she has it) will only last a short time, and she will also move on. So must you.

[WmGO]

Regarding mystics who claim to be able read a woman's character and mind through her photos, I have my doubts.  I say this not just because I lack such skills, but because these women are individuals and all are different. Some emote; others do not.  Some can act; others can not.

Noone claimed to be able to do this with 100% infallibility. But it can be done with some women. Just look at the Hooter thread that you cite Gator. The whole (apparent I guess) point of that thread is that insincerity *can* be detected based on photographs, in that case scantilly clad women.

In the case of Rookie's teenager, I looked at her website profile and the following was *very* apparent to me about her:

1. Immature.
2. Self absorbed.
3. Deceitful by nature.


I would have made that call based on her photos alone. I would have been proven correct. BTW, if you have not noticed, some of the FSUW who post here made similar calls based on *their* observations of the girl's photos. You see, just b/c you may not yourself have a gift of discernment does not prove your skepticism (which I understand).


Turbo,

You are the last person on the planet that should be dispenseing advice about FSUW. Nonetheless yes,  although one cannot *always* judge a book by it's cover, sometimes one can. But that takes: 1.  common sense and,  2.a certain amount of discernment. And FYI, the scammers you mentioned on match are almost always *obviously* scammers.........A fool and his money soon depart..............Caveat Emptor!!

[ScottinCrimea]

It's possible that her "Plan B" seemed more promising and more generous than you.  I believe you stated earlier that at this point you had already given her money for her tuition, etc.?  Is there possibly a time coorelation between that and her sudden change of heart?

I don't buy the friend story for a second.  Sounds pretty concocted to me.  Does she know you have been in contact with the other guy?  What does he say about their relationship and what she was telling him?  How long did that relationship last and at what point did she break it off?  After you wrote that you knew?  Is she still writing to him and telling him a different story?

I think it is interesting to learn what they try to do for damage control after getting busted.

Ss far as telling anything from a woman's photo, some men never look much above the neck.  If were a way to tell a woman's character by the size and shape of her hooters, there would be a lot fewer scams.  Maybe someone here has some talent in this and can offer some tits....er....tips?

[Shadow]

Ss far as telling anything from a woman's photo, some men never look much above the neck.  If were a way to tell a woman's character by the size and shape of her hooters, there would be a lot fewer scams.  Maybe someone here has some talent in this and can offer some tits....er....tips?

Some time ago there was a test with people smiling, and people taking it had to determine if the smile was real or fake. I got 99% score. As far as pictures of couple together I do not recall having been wrong once. But in most cases I do not even trust my own talents and give people the benefit of doubt. Often proving my feelings were better as my gentle nature.

To FSURookie. It sounds like damage control, but it can also be true. In any case this was my reason to advise you not to stalk her with your regrets about this train wreck. She is 19 years old , and even if she is making mistakes (or forced in to them by people manipulating) she has the right to a happy life like anyone else.
Read her letter of 24 August again, and you see that in that letter she actually ended the relations between you, as clear as any woman can write to a guy the thinks is not the worst in the world.  You will see that after this all you did was going down "the Nile" and I do not mean the river.

[groovlstk]

This woman used you and hopes to continue to use you. I thought about this thread last night as I was watching American Beauty when one of the characters said "never underestimate the power of denial." With this cockamamie story she hopes you're too p***ywhipped to accept the truth.

Shame on anyone who makes excuses for her, wants to put the blame on you (although surely you acted foolishly), and even those who want to attribute her behavior to her age.

There are many such women like her in the FSU, and they have the full support of their families and friends who care nothing for you and very likely admire her for being "clever," to steal JB's nomenclature. Not to stray too far off topic, but many FSU women who relocate to the US (including my wife) claim that American friendships are more superficial than Russian friendships, wherein people can bare their souls to their true friends without having to worry about them making value judgments or ostracize them for behaving like your ex-fiancee. Such friends and family would happily watch her pick you to pieces without a shred of guilt if it will improve her lot.

Whether it's for tuition money, a ticket to the Promised Land, or the possibility of a brighter future than she'll likely have in Ukraine, you're nothing but her "fiance worshipper."

[FSUrookie]

Well, it appears as if my main objective is being achieved here....
Because of my experiences and situation with Maria, I think many have really thought about this and the risks & rollercoaster ride that dating a FSU woman can present....  Of course there are success stories (*I think that true success is at a point where an American man and a FSU woman have been happily married for more than a few years - though like any marriage it takes a lifetime of hard work, understanding and respect to have true success*), but it seems as if there are more failures than successes, so we all need to be armed with the realities of entering the FSU dating scene....
For me I am trying to turn a negative into a positive...
Now I go back into this with; 1) an even tighter wallet 2) the future elimination of considering any FSU woman under 25. 3)Thankful that I did not get burned for more, or after possibly being married.

At this point I am listening to what she has to say (I always said on here that I was not out for retribution). And, now, even if she did have a change of heart, she would have to earn my trust back, and she would have to move to America on MY terms. The money train is over for her. Only my future wife will get any money from me, and then only after budgeting and for necessitates. Unlike others, I will NOT sell my soul to win this girl back. So, at the very least, I have become wiser for whatever the future brings. And as groovlstk has said, no matter what my ignorance's in this were, it never makes the wrongs that she did right.
Thanks again for everyone's input. My story has truly inspired taking a hard second look at the whole FSU dating scene for me, and for others.....

[BillyB]

FSUrookie,

I read your latest update and hear your message on the phone but I got my kids surrounding me today and can't get into a long converstation.

Whatever you do, don't go back to her. She is sweet talking to you now and it's working as I sense a mood swing on your part. I'm not going to blame this on her age. She's an adult and knows what she is doing when she dated that man in Florida while engaged to you. Now she wants to tell you she did this on behalf of her friend to test him? How noble! You told me she contacted him answering his ad in her local newspaper and he then visited her based on her telling him she's available and looking for serious relations. If she's testing him for a friend, him commiting to a visit to your fiancee should tell your friend everything she wants to know as far as him visiting multiple women. Also you told me your fiancee made it clear that she wanted further communications with the man in Florida after meeting him. Why would she need to do further testing for her friend?  Her firend should dump him for even dating your fiancee. Dates and further testing are not needed. I doubt the excuse is even true.

I believe your fiancee is looking out for #1 whether it's you, the man from Florida, moving to Germany, or meeting other Tom, Dick, and Hairy's to get where she wants to go in life. I also believe her mom has a certain amount of control over her and she doesn't seem to mind her daughter dating multiple men while she's engaged. Heck, her mom probably promotes it. What you see from mom, you may see from the daughter. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Also you mention her friends did the same by dating other men thing while they were commited to one man. Birds of a feather flock together.

Too many good women out there to take a chance on this one. Find a woman that doesn't give you this much drama and heartache. The best thing for you do do is to say goodbye and let her learn a lesson that she lost a good man.

For the heck of it, tell her if she really loves you to send the engagement ring back to you. Let's see if she respects your wishes or respects the value of her ring.

[ScottinCrimea]

For the heck of it, tell her if she really loves you to send the engagement ring back to you. Let's see if she respects your wishes or respects the value of her ring.

I think this would be a very telling thing to do.

FSU, In addition to having been able to teach a few of some lessons, you are aldo teaching her some lessons as well.  If she is really sincere and everything that she says is true, then she will learn to take the commitment of engagement seriously and not risk losing a good man for the sake of her friends or her mother.  If she is not sincere, she will learn what to avoid the next time so as to prolong her scam.

[Jazzyclassy]

   For the heck of it, tell her if she really loves you to send the engagement ring back to you. Let's see if she respects your wishes or respects the value of her ring.                    

naive , childish kids - such women like her will never ever send a ring back to him
she never respected him at all , it is pretty obvious, her letters are just crazy examples from the book called "how to scam naive american guys"

being 19 she already did such things, many girls at her age are playing with dolls so to say and she is scamming people, saling her body , there is no excuse for her -yes and from the other point we can not justify FSUrookie as well.... he did allow her a lot

[FSUrookie]

Good post Billy, but one correction in regard to what you said; "Also you told me your fiancee made it clear that she wanted further communications with the man in Florida after meeting him. Why would she need to do further testing for her friend? "
My fiancee only communicated with this man once, and said yes to set up the date, and then they met once, and that was it (I verified this with MY source, who I can not reveal for obvious reasons). No more dates, no more calls, and Maria insisted that that was it. I told her then that I was upset that she did this without informing me, and she said that she told no one, because she felt that I would not understand what she was really doing. As for our 3-way phone conversation today, her friend Alona told me a few times that Maria was very nervous during the call and shy about it, as she is always shy about discussing such matters with a 3rd person present.

ADDITIONAL INFO:
On the other hand, she may be back-peddling because of this email that I sent her (and her friend Alona) 2 days ago (not to be mean, but to put her on notice that what she did to me was very wrong)
Here it is;

Date: Thursday, August 30, 2007 1:13 PM
To: Maria Ryzhkova
From: John
Subject: Why did you lie to me Masha?

Masha (or is it Karina?),
 
Why did you lie? Why did you cheat on me? Tell the whole truth now! You dated men in June 18, 2007 (Kim Shepherd from Florida USA), and maybe at other times too, while we were engaged to me married! You looked in newspapers for foreign men while we were engaged to be married. How could you do this to me Masha? I was willing to give you anything in the world. But now you were dishonest to me. Now, you have lost your own self-respect. You know, I have many friends in Kharkov, and they told me how you dated another man while we were engaged. Now, soon everyone in Kharkov, and the world, will know that you can not be trusted, and that you cheated on a good man, and that you were unfaithful to the man you made a promise to marry.
You know, one of my friends in Kharkov is a teacher at your University. Soon others at your school will know what you did to me. What you did to me was cruel, sinful, mean, crude, hurtful, and lacking good judgment. I think you should pray to God for forgiveness. Of course it is my nature, I must forgive now you and I do forgive you, but I will let others know in Kharkov what you did to me, so that no other men will get hurt by your unwise and hurtful actions. You even lied to your own friends! I think you owe me  apologies. I forgive you, but everyone will soon know how you were unfaithful and dishonest to me. What a shame what you did, because I gave you all my love and was willing to do anything for you, even move to Germany to make you happy! You hurt many people, and you hurt me Masha. I have friends in Kharkov, and I will return there one day, and I hope that you have enough dignity to admit your mistake and apologize to me in person. Do you realize the harm that you have done to me and others? Do you? If you have any dignity, you will return the money to me for the University. Perhaps your relative in Germany can give you the money? That money was for my fiancée, not a for some liar, cheater and scammer. I hope that you will now understand the damage that you have done.....
 
John
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Your points are well taken Billy and everyone else as well, and as you know I respect your advice. My guard is up, and I am just giving her the courtesy to hear her out. Don't worry, I've taken my blinders off, and I agree it may just be best to move on.... Your PM Billy is also very good advice about moving on.... I'll update on here later..... Take care.....

[ScottinCrimea]

Good post Billy, but one correction in regard to what you said; "Also you told me your fiancee made it clear that she wanted further communications with the man in Florida after meeting him. Why would she need to do further testing for her friend? "
My fiancee only communicated with this man once, and said yes to set up the date, and then they met once, and that was it (I verified this with MY source, who I can not reveal for obvious reasons). No more dates, no more calls, and Maria insisted that that was it. I told her then that I was upset that she did this without informing me, and she said that she told no one, because she felt that I would not understand what she was really doing. Your points are well taken, and as you know I respect your advice. My guard is up, and I am just giving her the courtesy to hear her out. Don't worry, I've taken my blinders off, and I agree it may just be best to move on.... Your PM Billy is also very good advice about moving on.... I'll update on here later..... Take care.....

In  previous post you wrote this, "According to my source, she told Kim that she was very much interested in seeing him again."

It appears that the only reason that there was no communication after this was that he was more interested in someone else.  If it had been up to her, she would have continued with this man.  At least it appears that he understands the concept of monogamy.

[FSUrookie]

Well, this has been a tough story for me to tell.
If this forum thread saves some other man from the same grief, it was all worth it.
And, of course it is not my intention to make this forum the "People's Court" or like the old "Wild Wild West" and hang the girl because the townspeople said that she is guilty.
My points are clear;
1) To tell my story to help & inform others
2) To show that I made some mistakes and maybe ignored a few flags looking back, and to stress CAUTION in this FSU dating scene.
3) To emphasize the even greater risks of dating FSU woman under 25
4) To put on notice any FSU woman that thinks they can do this and get away with it with no repercussions.
5) To make clear that we must be fair in judging this FSU woman and other FSU woman
6) To make clear that IF, given the FACTS, she has done wrong, that I will do whatever is in my power, legally and rightfully, to make sure that she is held accountable for it.
7) After seeing this thing thru (completely) to move on with my life and learn a valuable lesson from it all, and maybe help another fellow RWD member in the process...

Thanks to all for making this thread meaningful and informative....

[Gator]

Some unconnected thoughts:

-  One thing does not make sense.  If she were scamming you, she would have kept you around and never written such a clear “Dear John” letter.

-  Perhaps what she did say about her mother and Germany is true.  It may be because her mother, who knows her well, realizes that Maria is not ready for marriage and this is her attempt to stop it.

-  I admit I can not read photos; however, I can read letters.  You use words such as “soon be my wife” and other language that has 10x more feeling and generosity than what she wrote.   She writes “only mine” as if you are a possession.  This is not mutual love.  When describing her university studies, she says “But I must do it for future!”  It would have been far better if she had written “our future”.  Her Dear John letter had no remorse.  Heartless woman.

-  You say, “At this point I am listening to what she has to say…”

Why are you thinking about this?  If she betrayed you once, she will do it gain.  Do not even think about it, even on different terms. Your need to remove memories of those gravity defying breasts from your mind and think about developing a true relationship. Leave her alone while she completes her university studies.

[FSUrookie]

Good points Gator....
But to be fair....
Some of her emails were pretty good, whether they were sincere or not is another story.... Oh, and I am not softening up, just presenting all the elements in this story....

From July 8, 2007:
hi my love....

Perfection in my Eyes

All I ever wanted was to be part of your heart,
And for us to be together, to never be apart.

No one else in the world can even compare,
You're perfect and so is this love that we share.

We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.

I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll do anything for you as long as I live.

In your eyes I see our present, our future and past,
By the way you look at me I know we will last.

I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes.

your Maria

Sorry to get musshy.... But I want ALL elements of this story to be known, whether I screwed up or she screwed up or a little of both.....

[BC]

Yeah, at least she could have given the author of the poem credit.

[DizzyD]

Hi FSUrookie...

I am certainly not one to be passing out advice in relation to RW/WM relationships because i have "very" little practical experiance, in dealing with "Russian" ladies. I have really only been communicating with one. However i do have enough experiance with male/female relationships in general to add my two cents worth... this "lady" or should i say "girl" is a suprisingly gifted manipulator for her 19 years... She will only get better at it, with time, practice and lack of consequences.... are you sure you want to show her any sympathy or understanding.. i wouldn't bother if i were you.

it would appear that the only part of her game that is not quite 100% at this point, are her damage control skills,, but even those are pretty good, and will also get better with time... :yech:

Just my opinion
DD

[FSUrookie]

FSU, In addition to having been able to teach a few of some lessons, you are aldo teaching her some lessons as well.  If she is really sincere and everything that she says is true, then she will learn to take the commitment of engagement seriously and not risk losing a good man for the sake of her friends or her mother.  If she is not sincere, she will learn what to avoid the next time so as to prolong her scam.

Well, this has been a painful experience for me, but it has also been a learning experience. I thought me and Maria were a good match, irregardless of age gap. But as the story has unfolded, looking back one can see many of the smaller flags. However, whatever Maria's motives were or weren't, dealing with a 19 year old girl that was very shy and sheltered, along with the fact that her mother apparently laid the death blow to our relationship, I must say it was a relationship with many great moments. Of course there were many personal intimate moments (non-sexual) of which I have not and will not elaborate about on here, because I do not think it would serve anyone any purpose, and I am not out throw personal darts at Maria. But I will say that we had many warm moments. It took many months to take a very shy and sheltered 19 year old and make her feel warm, and in the end I remember our days in Crimea this first week of August 2007. She hugged me very warmly and said "do not worry, we will always be the best pair", and then on our balcony with a beautiful sunset over Sevastopol Bay and the Black Sea she held me warmly and said "you are wonderful my husband". In our last 20 minutes together (literally) she wrote this on my laptop (with promptX translator program); " I ask you do not worry we are fine we the best pair I LOVE YOU do not wish to cry". I know in my heart that we had chemistry clicking. Unfortunately, in the end it was a combination of youth, lack of her understanding of the seriousness of our commitment, and herself allowing her mother to tell her what to do with her life.... I think in the end, Maria has realized the seriousness of her actions. Wether one day she will realize this and change her ways is another story. An honest agency friend told me that in Ukraine, mothers can be very controlling of their daughters, and I definitely saw that take place here. Well, we talk again on Thursday, but I am already looking to move on.... It has been a painful experience, and I hope that I have opened the eyes of others making their first or follow-up trips to FSU countries......

[acrzybear]

Now I go back into this with; 1) an even tighter wallet 2) the future elimination of considering any FSU woman under 25. Did I miss something?, this contradicts your statement below about listening to what she has to say 3)Thankful that I did not get burned for more, or after possibly being married.

At this point I am listening to what she has to say (I always said on here that I was not out for retribution)All you are doing with this statement is justifying your continual contact with her. And, now, even if she did have a change of heart, she would have to earn my trust back, and she would have to move to America on MY termsThis sentence says it all-Rookie you still have feelings for her . The money train is over for her. Only my future wife will get any money from me, and then only after budgeting and for necessitates. Unlike others, I will NOT sell my soul to win this girl backSo you want her to come crawling back to you on your terms so your ego can get some satisfaction after getting bruised. So, at the very least, I have become wiser for whatever the future brings I'm going to pull the BS card on this one. And as groovlstk has said, no matter what my ignorance's in this were, it never makes the wrongs that she did right. This is the only statement you've made that is right on the mark-oh I'm sorry actually Groovlstk made it
Thanks again for everyone's input. My story has truly inspired taking a hard second look at the whole FSU dating scene for me, and for others.....

  Rookie

 I'm going to be a bit harsh here and your ego/feelings might get hurt some more, but you're allegedly an adult, so here goes;

  You are in a dangerous place right now and need to take some time off from this pursuit, You got taken advantage of by a 19 year old girl, what the hell did you expect? A reenactment of an old movie where you swoop in on your white horse and save her from the evil country and then ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after?  I don't know what you're smoking or ingesting, but I'm willing to bet it's illegal.

  The fact that you were so focused on reestablishing communications with this girl and then justified it by playing the noble knight ("And, now, even if she did have a change of heart, she would have to earn my trust back") shows that you don't want to let go-Grow up be a man and get over it!!  

  Rookie

 Most 19 year olds have no idea of what they want or any long term plans, they are still learning how to live and surviving day to day. I'm sure it was exciting to be bedding a hot 19 year old and your ego/pride were telling you that you are THA MAN!! but reality has a way of rearing it's ugly head and kicking you right in the family jewels.  

 So here's your version of the story; you met a 19 year old smokinhotkova, freely gave her money and other items (including an engagement ring), shortly there after you found out she was seeing at least one other guy.  You called off the whole relationship and now you're in the "I'll only get back with her on MY terms and this time I can make it work" phase.  By your own admittance you freely gave her all of the aforementioned items and then you were burned, now you're looking for two things; revenge & pity.

  As I said earlier, over the 13+ years that I've dealt with people in every emotional state you can imagine I've come to learn one thing when dealing with emotions involving two people; there is his side to the story and there's her side to the story and the truth usually lies somewhere in between - At this point in time only your version has been posted.

 Rookie

    Here's what I would suggest you do; ask for the ring back and then terminate all communications with her (regardless of whether you get it back or not) .  Then get one or two of your closest buddies and go get blind stinking drunk and tell them all of your woes.
 After a couple of days have passed and you've gotten the alcohol out of your system, begin the healing process and wait a while before even thinking about looking for a relationship with a woman (not a girl).  

  This is just another hard lesson learned in this great journey we call life,  chalk it up as experience and move on.  

[Muj]

FSUrookie,

Gator and Shadow also understand her last letter as a "Dear John" letter as I.  If your real name isn't John then I'm supposing you also understand the last letter too.  But deny.  Also she may not be as clever and scheming as we all think.  Maybe more of a  capricious, undeciding young woman than hardcore scammer, yet(?).  What do we expect at 19?

[groovlstk]

I think in the end, Maria has realized the seriousness of her actions. Wether one day she will realize this and change her ways is another story. An honest agency friend told me that in Ukraine, mothers can be very controlling of their daughters, and I definitely saw that take place here. Well, we talk again on Thursday, but I am already looking to move on.... It has been a painful experience, and I hope that I have opened the eyes of others making their first or follow-up trips to FSU countries......

Dude, you continue to allow yourself to be deluded. Now it's her mom's fault? Her youth? Hogwash!

I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but she is a garbage human being, and if you don't recognize this little fact you're bound to run into more stervi if and when you jump back into the FSU pool. Like all too many FSU women in the international dating scene, she lives a life of complete duplicity. Lying is second nature to her and always will be; do you honestly think her stomping on her own meal ticket has "taught her a lesson" or changed her in a fundamental way? The remorse she may feel is for being foolish enough to allow you to discover her lies, and if she changes in the future it will mean she's simply more careful when using someone. I've met women like her in Ukraine and Russia, even went so far as you did in falling in love with one of them, it would have been the greatest mistake of my life if I didn't discover her duplicity.

Your stated intention of posting this account for the good of men who follow will be utterly useless and ultimately damaging if you continue to rationalize her behavior and attribute it to immaturity or her mom.

[neo]

FSURookie

I think you need to stop beating yourself up over this girl and simply walk away and put it behind you, shes playing barbie and ken relationship games with the marriage agency as the dolls house. she could take 5 years to grow up and you clearly don't have the emotional armour capable of taking the battering all her gameplaying and scenario testing will demand of you.

Take the letters for what they are, emotional candy floss and a little girls idealised fantasy version of romance.

time to move on and forget it. you cant learn anything you dont already know.

[FSUrookie]

Yes, deep down I KNOW that you guys are right, and YES, I can assure all that my approach, my wallet and Guard will all be in a MUCH higher alert stage for the next go-around..... I guess letting go is a b*tch sometimes and makes us all blind to the obvious.....

One additional note: Check out this thread from THOR; http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=4053.0
It is a good idea on getting your FSU experience off to a good start.....