could you take a city RW and move her to the country

[Turboguy]

Gabaub,  I agree with you that for some restaurants are critical for the social aspect of their life and for some they couldn't care less.   In the summer VWRW and I spent together we ate in restaurants three times.  One was a food court in the mall, one was a burger joint and the other was a nice restaurant. 

Blues fairy, I think many women would feel like you do.  You do strike me as someone a little more cosmopolitan for a gal from Siberia but I think many RW are that way and he needs to find one that is not.

[jb]

Is it just me,,, or is there an extraordinary similarity of writing style here with Blues Fairy and Adrian?  Blues,,, are you just pulling our chain with a second ID here?  Please come clean if that's really you posting as Adrian.  I promise I won't get pissie about it.

[ScottinCrimea]

FSUW are accustomed to shopping for fresh produce, etc. nearly every day.  The idea of buying a week's worth of groceries is foreign to them, so to not have a store within walking distance will seem like a burden for them until they adjust to the idea that they don't need to shop daily.

My wife has lived all her life in the center of Simferopol, where everything is a 5 minute walk away and what isn't is a 15 minute, 20 cent bus ride away.  While she may not eat out every day or shop for clothes, etc. every day, she likes that everything is available when desired and doesn't require planning and a two hour drive to get there.  Even where we are living now in the suburbs in the US, the closest store is 2 miles away and this seems too far for her.  I think there is s certain energy that one gets from living in the city that can be lacking in the country and many will miss this.  For me, I grew up in the country then lived for years in the suburbs, but I find I preferred living in the city center in Simferopol.  It's all going to be a matter of personal preference and you will need to find a woman that is comfortable with the limits of country living.  It definitely will add to the adjustment process and may add more strain to the relationship in the beginning.

[BC]

FSUW are accustomed to shopping for fresh produce, etc. nearly every day.  The idea of buying a week's worth of groceries is foreign to them, so to not have a store within walking distance will seem like a burden for them until they adjust to the idea that they don't need to shop daily.

There is quite a bit 'social' about shopping here.. We also shop daily and will meet many of our neighbours and friends at the butcher, bakery, fish market, veggie shop and other stores.  Most of the storekeepers are quite proud of their wares, so it's not unusual for her to discuss the menu with the butcher for example to select just the right piece of meat, and a little chit chat with other customers while waiting to be served is quite the norm.  Friday is 'market day' here and all the women from town peruse the wares chat along the way.

I also observed quite a bit of this social activity in RU.

I'm sure my wife would miss it.

[Misha]

FSUW are accustomed to shopping for fresh produce, etc. nearly every day.  The idea of buying a week's worth of groceries is foreign to them, so to not have a store within walking distance will seem like a burden for them until they adjust to the idea that they don't need to shop daily.

My wife has lived all her life in the center of Simferopol, where everything is a 5 minute walk away and what isn't is a 15 minute, 20 cent bus ride away.  While she may not eat out every day or shop for clothes, etc. every day, she likes that everything is available when desired and doesn't require planning and a two hour drive to get there.  Even where we are living now in the suburbs in the US, the closest store is 2 miles away and this seems too far for her.  I think there is s certain energy that one gets from living in the city that can be lacking in the country and many will miss this.  For me, I grew up in the country then lived for years in the suburbs, but I find I preferred living in the city center in Simferopol.  It's all going to be a matter of personal preference and you will need to find a woman that is comfortable with the limits of country living.  It definitely will add to the adjustment process and may add more strain to the relationship in the beginning.

My wife quickly grew to like the idea that she does not have to carry bags of produce of crowded buses or vans ("marshrutki"). She really likes the idea of buying food once or twice a week and simply putting it in the car to go home.

Also, keep in mind that living in the "country" in North America is a lot different than what it is in Russia. You have a greater selection of food and produce in a small town grocery store in Canada than you often have in mid-sized cities in Russia.

I lived on a farm growing up and it was a 20 minute car ride to go to town and trust me there was a lot of socializing going on as my father went to the coffee shop to talk to the local farmers and mom went shopping.

Does this mean that all women from the FSU would want to live in a small town in North America? Probably not, but then again many North American women do not want to live in the country either. So, you have to find someone who is going to be comfortable living in the country whether in Russia or in North America. Is it difficult? Yes. Is it impossible. No.

[Misha]

Gabaub,  I agree with you that for some restaurants are critical for the social aspect of their life and for some they couldn't care less.   In the summer VWRW and I spent together we ate in restaurants three times.  One was a food court in the mall, one was a burger joint and the other was a nice restaurant. 

Blues fairy, I think many women would feel like you do.  You do strike me as someone a little more cosmopolitan for a gal from Siberia but I think many RW are that way and he needs to find one that is not.

Well, I can conclude that TJK should not be dating a woman who shares the opinions of Blues fairy. Does this mean that all women in Russia share Blues fairy's evaluation of life in the country. No. But, it all comes down to compatibility. You want to find someone that will share your goals, values and interests. Any marriage where you can't agree on these basic items is going to be a challenge regardless of whether it is an AM with a RW or an AW.

[BC]

The town my wife comes from has a population of around 150.000.  Our town here has 15.000 inhabitants. The store to inhabitant ratio however is a bit greater here.. I think that's what keeps her happy.

[ScottinCrimea]

One of the biggest dangers when you first bring a RW to the US is that she gets bored.  You need to look at what your area offers that will keep her busy and feeling productive and that allow her growth as an individual.  Then you can more easily find a woman that is compatible with these activities.  Obviously if she needs a university, a theater, etc nearby it won't work.  It will all depend on where her interests lie.

[tjk]

I agree with most of what everyone has said here. It will not be a easy task to find a FSUW that will want to and be happy in the country. It is also difficult to find a AW that would be happy in the country. But there are those that are tired of the crime, noise, pollution, etc.. and would want to live in a place that you can feel free and live how you want to. Where you do not have to worry about what you neighbor is doing or watching you. You all say that everything is still a 10 to 15 min walk or maybe a bus ride away, is this not the same you just have a 10 or 15 min car ride to town, or a little longer (bus) ride to a little bigger town. There are many times back home where it would take you twice as long to buy groceries just because you ran into someone and would BS for awhile. Sounds very similar in some ways, no...

That is one of the problems with moving anyone from a city to the country is that they will be bored, until they learn how things are done and start to enjoy the simple pleasures of life in general.

I do not know why anyone would date someone who would not be compatible with them in the first place, that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen..

Maybe some place like Kiev would not be a good place to look for someone but how would one go about trying to find a small town girl then. Most agencies are big city based, so what would that leave you with??

[Misha]

One of the biggest dangers when you first bring a RW to the US is that she gets bored.  You need to look at what your area offers that will keep her busy and feeling productive and that allow her growth as an individual.  Then you can more easily find a woman that is compatible with these activities.  Obviously if she needs a university, a theater, etc nearby it won't work.  It will all depend on where her interests lie.

Exactly! If she loves gardening, then the country will be a much better option than downtown Manhattan.

[tjk]

Well, I can conclude that TJK should not be dating a woman who shares the opinions of Blues fairy. Does this mean that all women in Russia share Blues fairy's evaluation of life in the country. No. But, it all comes down to compatibility. You want to find someone that will share your goals, values and interests. Any marriage where you can't agree on these basic items is going to be a challenge regardless of whether it is an AM with a RW or an AW.

I would have to agree 100%. No offense Blue Fairy, but I would not date you because country life is one of my most important things in my life along with my children. Country life is one of the bast places to raise children IMO. I would have gone nuts if I had to grow up in the city. For me there is nothing to do in the city once you have seen the sites. Everything else will cost you money and you do not get charged to watch the deer go thru the yard or to watch the sunset or sunrise. And then there is the baby animal thing. Or if you like to ride a horse for example there is nothing better than just going out for a ride with someone very special. I can not believe that I just said that. Because for me riding a horse is very much just like work, I associate the two together. Spent most of my youth on the back or a horse.

Anyway, I don't think that anyone should be dating someone that does not share the common interest. I know that love will make people act and react different than they might have thought before. I have seen this.

Exactly! If she loves gardening, then the country will be a much better option than downtown Manhattan.

This is exactly right. One must find the common interst.....

[Blues Fairy]

Is it just me,,, or is there an extraordinary similarity of writing style here with Blues Fairy and Adrian?  Blues,,, are you just pulling our chain with a second ID here?  Please come clean if that's really you posting as Adrian.  I promise I won't get pissie about it.

Then I hope you won't get pissie if I maintain that I am myself and write consistently as MYSELF.  Why is it so hard to believe that a RW can write well in a foreign language and express opinions akin to those of a cosmopolitan WM. On the other hand, why would someone like Adrian write so much about Novosibirsk unless he was actually born there.

Use your logic man.     

[Simoni]

Is it just me,,, or is there an extraordinary similarity of writing style here with Blues Fairy and Adrian?  Blues,,, are you just pulling our chain with a second ID here? 

Use your logic man.     

Logic?  JB was using logic.  An analysis of writing stye and text characteristics shows a high correlation between Blues and Adrian.

That still leaves a small chance the two are not the same.  But logic says they are.

Hence, not a bad guess, JB.

On topic-- You can take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl.  Thus, you had better look for a village girl, tjk.

[Misha]

Logic?  JB was using logic.  An analysis of writing stye and text characteristics shows a high correlation between Blues and Adrian.

That still leaves a small chance the two are not the same.  But logic says they are.

Hence, not a bad guess, JB.

On topic-- You can take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl.  Thus, you had better look for a village girl, tjk.

Why can't you take the girl out of the city? Some women are not happy being in the city and dream of a nice life away from the city. And, the village girl may dream of the life in the city. Again, you have to find the woman not the stereotype that suits you (and you her).

[Simoni]

Why can't you take the girl out of the city? Some women are not happy being in the city and dream of a nice life away from the city. And, the village girl may dream of the life in the city. Again, you have to find the woman not the stereotype that suits you (and you her).

Because 1) they enjoy the freedom being able to walk everywhere affords and sidewalks 2) they enjoy mass transit 3) they miss the shopping and the crowds and friends everywhere.

Again, I speak of the vast majority of city girls-- they don't want the village life and if the "town" is under half a million, they will consider it a village.  Lots of stuff upthread on this.

Note:  It does not apply to all girls but does to most.

[jb]

A very old, tired, and many times laundered question.  I can only say that my wife, a Moscovitchka, is perfectly happy living in my village.

[Simoni]

A very old, tired, and many times laundered question.  I can only say that my wife, a Moscovitchka, is perfectly happy living in my village.

The Gulf of Mexico and white sand beaches does wonders 

[Misha]

Note:  It does not apply to all girls but does to most.

Fortunately, men do not want to marry all girls, or even most girls, they want to find the ONE woman that will be happy with them, and in this case he has to find the one woman that will be happy in the country. I agree it won't be easy, and you are right in that he will have to be careful to chose the right women as most won't be happy in the country.

[Blues Fairy]

Logic?  JB was using logic.  An analysis of writing stye and text characteristics shows a high correlation between Blues and Adrian.
That still leaves a small chance the two are not the same.  But logic says they are.

Don't know about Adrian, but I am sick and tired of being accused of identity fraud on this forum. One more post like the above and I'm outta here. 

[Turboguy]

Personally I don't know what in the world would make them think you are not who you say you are.

Next thing is they will think I am really jb or Kuna.

[SANDRO43]

Next thing is they will think I am really jb or Kuna

We knew that already, they were out of fresh targets .

[tjk]

Don't know about Adrian, but I am sick and tired of being accused of identity fraud on this forum. One more post like the above and I'm outta here. 

Its okay Blue I don't think that you are Adrian, if that matters to you    

Because 1) they enjoy the freedom being able to walk everywhere affords and sidewalks 2) they enjoy mass transit 3) they miss the shopping and the crowds and friends everywhere.

Again, I speak of the vast majority of city girls-- they don't want the village life and if the "town" is under half a million, they will consider it a village.  Lots of stuff upthread on this.

Note:  It does not apply to all girls but does to most.

Yes I think that is how most big city people are BUT the note on the end is the most important " it does not apply to all girls but most"

Why can't you take the girl out of the city? Some women are not happy being in the city and dream of a nice life away from the city. And, the village girl may dream of the life in the city. Again, you have to find the woman not the stereotype that suits you (and you her).

The same can be reversed here as well you can put a country girl in the city but you can not take the country out of the girl.

I would have to think that there are those out there that are tired of the crowds and everything else that the city had to offer. I would agree that the choices are a little less than someone that lives in the city but they are out there. One just must be able to find her.
To be able to find the right woman is everyone's quest. Mine is a little more difficult than most. Might be a little more of this  

[pk-uk]

As you may or may not know I live in the country with nothing really around me but me, myself and I. The closest town is 2000 people where my kids go to school 10 miles away. To get a little bigger would be 30 miles away with 13,000 people. Or there is Sioux Falls South Dakota 120,000 75 miles away. And then there is the twin cities (Minneapolis) 4 hours give or take.

Would this be a major problem for a RW. I know that this way of life is not for everyone......

Not sure how valid my response is as I live in the UK, though I am aware what "living in the country" can mean in the US - my sister lives in the Rockies.

Personally, I'd imagine it is as much to do with the person as anything.  On the other hand, I found it more "fruitful" searching outside the big cities.  In general found the girls more sincere and less materialistic.

I prefer the country to the town, but due to personal circumstances, find myself on the edge of a city.  The girl I married came from a city of around the same population - just under 400,000.  That said, she was brought up in a small city in Crimea - population 40/50,000 - so did have an idea what living in a smaller place was all about - even if it wasn't a village of a couple of hundred people.

She was pleased I did not live in the country but, to be honest, not having a public transport system would have been difficult as she had never driven.  Not that she ever went far.  College - to learn English - was only about 3 miles away and I drove her around for just about everything else.  Having said that, it was about a year before I drove her into the city and she was amazed.  It was much further/bigger than she thought.  She seemed to think we were living in the city rather than on the edge 

Her attitude towards living in the country has changed though.  The first shift came after a year or so.  My parents live quite close in a market town of around 15-20,000.  She also has a RW friend in another local market town of about the same size.  She likes these places because they have a few local shops (something we don't) and everything seems close.  However, in the last couple of months - after five years - she has said that she can see the advantages of living in the countryside with no-one around you.  Nevertheless, it would still be important to Alla to have a decent job she liked.

Like I said at the start though, I would imagine it depends on the person.  Clothes, make-up and beauty treatments figured high on Alla's list.  Lack of access to those would have been a disaster - as would lack of ability to pick up English, which she did through college and a part-time job.  Apart from that she was 35-year-old mum, in a good job, who would knit clothes for her daughter and just wanted a good man.  Life revolved around her daughter, a couple of friends and her family.  Her main interest was watching films and she would occassionally go to the theatre or cinema.

I would concur with others though.  The biggest threat is boredom. I felt that the biggest challenge was to integrate my new family into their new environment whilst still maintaining my day-job.

Good luck with your quest.

[Misha]

I would concur with others though.  The biggest threat is boredom. I felt that the biggest challenge was to integrate my new family into their new environment whilst still maintaining my day-job.

Good luck with your quest.

Boredom will be an issue in a city as well as the country. I am a firm believer that boredom is in the mind of the bored: i.e. some people will be bored wherever they live!

You have to find the woman who will find things to do in the country that she will find enjoyable. Here is an example: horses. Do you have horses? A woman who loves horses can easily spend a few hours per days grooming and riding her horses.

Again, highlight the positive and find a woman who will love you and life in the country.

[tjk]

Boredom will be an issue in a city as well as the country. I am a firm believer that boredom is in the mind of the bored: i.e. some people will be bored wherever they live!

You have to find the woman who will find things to do in the country that she will find enjoyable. Here is an example: horses. Do you have horses? A woman who loves horses can easily spend a few hours per days grooming and riding her horses.

Again, highlight the positive and find a woman who will love you and life in the country.

I have to agree with this 100%. I think that anyone could be bored anywhere. I know that I would be bored in a city after a little time, even for all the things to do and see.

The horse thing is really a great idea there, one must find something to keep one busy. If you like horses then that would be a key to live in the country. If one would enjoy gardening that would also be another key. One must focus on the positives and go from there.

The search just becomes a little more complicated is all. Not for everyone but there are those who would like the country, and the things that it offers.