Ask me, I've done it! and have been married for 3 years happily!

[William3rd]

AHHHH Hell- it turned into just another darned guide thread. I was hoping for something a little less pecuniary. . . . . .

[Simoni]

AHHHH Hell- it turned into just another darned guide thread. I was hoping for something a little less pecuniary. . . . . .

Yes, that is unfortunate.  Can we get back to the argument if there is corruption in the fsu?  I'll win that argument.  And can we discuss if that corruption is a problem?   Those who have lived there for any length of time know that it is.

[Eduard]

Gator,
hello, and thank you for welcoming me.
I actuall haven't implyed at all that travelling to Russia is dangerous unless you have a guide! Where did you and Kuna see that? I think Russia is relatively safe, kinda like New York city. As long as you stay away from really bad spots you are safe. One thing I'll give to Putin there is a lot less street crime there now. Safety is not the main reason my clients bring me with them to Russia. Many feel that when you are thinking of marriage, you better be damn sure that the woman is the right one for you and you are the right one for her. And what's a better way to do that than to be able to communicate with absolutely no language barrier? I also help them save some serious bucks by getting a nice apartment rather than staying in an overpriced hotel.
And you are right, it does save a lot of time when you have someone like me going with you. My client, John, that is on the video had traveled the world and is very bright and technical, great sense of direction, etc. etc. But for the first week in Moscow even he felt lost without my guidence. For a guy who is not such a seasoned traveler, travelling to Russia on their own would be pretty difficult, and meeting and communicating with women would be very diffucult and very limited indeed. That's why so many men (who don't use my services) travel there many times and still haven't found a woman to marry. With my help one trip will most likely be enough. It also helps that with my help my clients get to know the women they will meet in Russia very well on line first. So when they meet in person, they are not meeting a stranger, rather a friend that they already know very well and had developed some romantic feelings for each other.
Also my system works great because I do not use any agencies at all!!!
Even in a rare instance when an agency is legit, only a very limited number of honest, family oriented women would sign up to an agency that markets women to foreigners.
let's face it, the majority of family oriented women who have strong ties with their family, friends, career and culture would not intentionally look for a husband from another country. They don't want to leave all that they love and cherrish behind and move to a completely new and unknown country/environment. Please notice: I said "the MAJORITY" not all women. Occasionally you might luck out and find a good, honest girl on an agency site, but in my humble oppinion, the vast majority of those women have an alterior motive - move to the States, improve their economic situation, more opportunities, etc.
Not love in other words. hence such a high divorce rate once they are here and have their green card.
I find women for my clients on Russian internet where the majority of Russian women are looking just for a local guy for love and relationship. my client and I can contact them directly with no agencies envolved in any way. In my experience About 10% of these real Russian women are open to meeting and developing a relationship with a foreign man even though they are not specifically looking for one. but even 10% of around 8 million single women on line is plenty to chose from! You do need to speak and read fluent Russian in order to be successful at doing it this way...that's where I come in

[Gator]

Eduardo,

Your service is more than that of a guide (my apologies to you and to William the XIII).

In fact, I think you have an interesting wrinkle of prospecting in the Russian-only dating sites.  For sure it greatly expands the dating pool.  So I compliment you for recommending that innovative concept and it is the best part of your service IMO.

Most of these women are 1) not interested in western men and 2) can not speak a sentence in English.  No. 1 is not a problem given your ability to sort through the masses and find someone who is interested.  No. 2 is a big problem.  I tried it.  It did not work.  Personality was also part of the problem because she withdrew easily, which is something one can not do if there is a possibility that the problem is simply a misunderstanding.

My thoughts are that a woman must learn intermediate English before marriage.  That would take 2 years?  Most men and women are not that patient.

the vast majority of those [agency] women have an alterior motive - move to the States, improve their economic situation, more opportunities, etc.

A young woman driven by crazy teenage love will possibly ignore economics and opportunity.  However, given my age I dated only experienced RW, and  every woman I got involved with was interested in stability, security, and more opportunity as well as love. And it was a different love than "crazy" love. 

So I question why a woman in her 30s and 40s on the Russian-only dating sites would have a different motivation than those listed with agencies.   Almost all of the women I met through agencies were sincere.  Those who were not sincere became transparent in an hour or two.  To be a contrarian, those on the dating sites may be interested in only dating and having a good time.





 

[Misha]

Most of these women are 1) not interested in western men and 2) can not speak a sentence in English.  No. 1 is not a problem given your ability to sort through the masses and find someone who is interested.  No. 2 is a big problem. 

This statement presumes that all RW who speak English are looking for husbands via agencies. I know a lot of women who did study English in school or on there own who would consider a foreign husband, but are not listed on any agency sites.

[SANDRO43]

(my apologies to William the XIII).

What happened to the other, intermediate X ? Do we have an occult legal dynasty here ?

[Eduard]

Eduardo,

Your service is more than that of a guide (my apologies to you and to William the XIII).

In fact, I think you have an interesting wrinkle of prospecting in the Russian-only dating sites.  For sure it greatly expands the dating pool.  So I compliment you for recommending that innovative concept and it is the best part of your service IMO.

Most of these women are 1) not interested in western men and 2) can not speak a sentence in English.  No. 1 is not a problem given your ability to sort through the masses and find someone who is interested.  No. 2 is a big problem.  I tried it.  It did not work.  Personality was also part of the problem because she withdrew easily, which is something one can not do if there is a possibility that the problem is simply a misunderstanding.

My thoughts are that a woman must learn intermediate English before marriage.  That would take 2 years?  Most men and women are not that patient.

A young woman driven by crazy teenage love will possibly ignore economics and opportunity.  However, given my age I dated only experienced RW, and  every woman I got involved with was interested in stability, security, and more opportunity as well as love. And it was a different love than "crazy" love. 

So I question why a woman in her 30s and 40s on the Russian-only dating sites would have a different motivation than those listed with agencies.   Almost all of the women I met through agencies were sincere.  Those who were not sincere became transparent in an hour or two.  To be a contrarian, those on the dating sites may be interested in only dating and having a good time.





 

Gator,
I disagree with you that none of the women on "Russian only" internet speak a sentence of english. In my searches for clients i actually encounter many english speakers and even a couple of english language college professors who's english is as fluent as it can get living in Russia.
I also strongly believe that even if a woman doesn't speak english it's not really a problem when you have an enterpretor/advisor/consultant and in a case of most of my clients a friend (I do become good friends with most of my clients after going through this process) who will guide you, enterpret for you and will be absolutely honest and upfront with you.
I read RW the way only a native speaker and someone who was born and raised there can.
The bootm line is that at the early stage they communicate with my help and weather she knows a little english, or no english at all there is no language barrier issue! If a woman is honest, open to a loving, faithful relationship my client and I will figure it out and get to know her like they are speaking the same language. After the relationship is established, she can take some english classes in Russia, while awaiting her K-1 and once she comes here take more english cources at a local community college. Plus when she is already immerced into American life and "has to" speak and understand english, the learning curve greatly accelarates. Keep in mind, that most of RWs are very smart and have one or 2 degrees.
For most that I know of it took from 6 months to a year to speak reasonably good english.
It took my wife 1 year from zero english to speaking pretty freely. And that's considering that we only speak Russian at home, so she doesn't have much experience talking to Americans, only occasional. Once she goes to work she'll be fluent in a few months. But at this point I prefer her spending time with the baby and not in any rush to have her join the work force...

2. I agree with you that all women are programmed by nature to search for a man who will provide a stable and secure environment for her family and kids. The problem occurs when a woman's agenda is just to use a guy as a stepping stone to come here, get situated, get her status and then leave him for bigger and better things. And I submit to you that many (I think the majority) of women who sign up to sites that market Russian/Ukrainian women have exactly that kind of mentality. They think: "well, I'll put up with him for a couple of years and see how it goes. If I'm not a 100% happy I'll just leave and find someone better/richer/younger, etc. etc." I would much rather go into marriage with a woman who thinks: "I like this guy, I think I can fall in love with him and I want to do everything possible to make this marriage work and stay together forever"
I talk to many Russian women both in the US and in Russia, and they usually feel comfortable enough to confind in me. So I believe I know what I'm talking about.
For instance my wife and all her single girl friends told me that they would never joing a website to meet a foreigner. They can't fathom moving so far away from their family and a way of life that they are used to. Forget about going to those parties that some of these agencies throw for foreign men to meet Russian women. Those have a horrible reputation among the "good girls" that I know personally at least.
I realise that this is just my personal experience, and some might disagree with me.
But I'm speaking from a perspective of someone who was born and raised in Russia, knows many russians personally and went through the process of finding, bringing to the US and marrying a russian woman. I've also helped others do this so have formed my own opinion on the way things are...but that's what a forum is for - expressing your point of view, isn't it?

[Simoni]

The bottom line is that at the early stage they communicate with my help and whether she knows a little english, or no english at all there is no language barrier issue! If a woman is honest, open to a loving, faithful relationship my client and I will figure it out and get to know her like they are speaking the same language. After the relationship is established, she can take some english classes in Russia, while awaiting her K-1 and once she comes here take more english cources at a local community college.

You'll find different perspectives at RWD on this issue.  Some men here married Russian women who did not speak English and were successful. 

I'm of the school that before marriage the couple should speak the same language, because there are so many deep issues that should be discussed in marriage.  Plus, even more to work out as she is overcoming culture shock and adjusting to life in the US.

So there are different answers to the question, "is it ok to pursue a woman who does not speak English."

[Simoni]

My wife and all her single girl friends told me that they would never joing a website to meet a foreigner. They can't fathom moving so far away from their family and a way of life that they are used to. Forget about going to those parties that some of these agencies throw for foreign men to meet Russian women.

In contrast, I met a lot of Marina's friends this summer who have joined agencies.  Mostly because they see the success Marina and I have. They are good girls.

We are a good advertisement 

An agency operates at different levels of service.  At the lower end of service, it's just a match-making service, much like eharmony or matchmaker.com in the US.  Nothing wrong with it here, or there.

As before, there is no right or wrong answer to this question.

...but that's what a forum is for - expressing your point of view, isn't it?

Yes, indeed 

[Eduard]

Gabaub,
I've got you private message and I totally agree. you do need to speak , write and read very good russian to be successful on those sites though. There is a perception among russian girls on those sites that Americans and other foreigners are dumb, because some men who happen to find those russian dating sites manage to register on them and create a profile (probably with the help from some local Russian friend. Then they just look at the pictures and email every cute girl no matter what her profile states. They don't understand that it is important to be able to read the profile and if a girl sais: "No foreign men, don't bother me!!!" or "I'm only looking for someone local from my city" don't frigging try to talk to her!!!! it bothers the hell out of them! Also many girls are not looking for a husband. They are in the middle of getting their education and are not interested in marriage. They only want to date a local guy. There are all kinds of ads. Some girls are looking only for girls, others are married but looking for a guy on the side, some offering escort service or looking for a "sponsor" meaning that she doesn't care weather you are married or not. Just pay her bills, support her financially and you will get sex from her.
I've actually seen a few girls offering escort services on local russian dating sites that also advertise on Agency sites looking for a foreign husband...guess what the result of that marriage will be... So beware of super hot, super sexy girls who look the part...if it walks like a duck....it's probably a duck.

PS. you wrote to me in Russian but i can tell that you are not Russian. The translation is much better than the usual online one though. Do you speak russian? If you wrote that yourself, I'm impressed!

[Eduard]

In contrast, I met a lot of Marina's friends this summer who have joined agencies.  Mostly because they see the success Marina and I have. They are good girls.

We are a good advertisement 

An agency operates at different levels of service.  At the lower end of service, it's just a match-making service, much like eharmony or matchmaker.com in the US.  Nothing wrong with it here, or there.

As before, there is no right or wrong answer to this question.

Yes, indeed 

Simoni,
you are right, we all form our opinion from personal experience and this world is too vast to generalize. I met your wife and she is a lovely person, you really lucked out with her.
My wife also liked her very much, and my wife is extremely picky in her choice of friends.
But spending much time in the Russian community both here in Tampa Bay and NY, I also have seen many other women who came here the same way, and believe me their husbands are not as lucky...
Sometimes when one girl in a group of friends will make the step like your wife did. And her friends see that it worked out well for her, they will be more open to joining an agency and following in her footsteps. But I would say that in the vast singles market of Russia/Ukraine it's more of an exception rather than rule. Majority of girls will not intentionally look for a foreign husband and would rather marry someone local from their own culture with whom they will stay near their family and friends. It's only natural...
again...just my informed oppinion 

[Simoni]

Simoni,
 I met your wife and she is a lovely person, you really lucked out with her.
My wife also liked her very much, and my wife is extremely picky in her choice of friends.

Thanks, Eduard.  Anyone with a good wife is fortunate, no doubt about it.

Majority of girls will not intentionally look for a foreign husband and would rather marry someone local from their own culture with whom they will stay near their family and friends.

I agree 100%.  It's true.

So that narrows the target range to less than 5%.  But it's a lovely 5% 

[Eduard]

Thanks, Eduard.  Anyone with a good wife is fortunate, no doubt about it.
I agree 100%.  It's true.

So that narrows the target range to less than 5%.  But it's a lovely 5% 

Simoni,
respectfully I would have to disagree. I think it's more like 0.0005% and not 5% as you state. I think that with my approach a western man would have a chance to tap into about 5 to 10% of the single women market over there. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Simoni,
respectfully I would have to disagree. I think it's more like 0.0005% and not 5% as you state. I think that with my approach a western man would have a chance to tap into about 5 to 10% of the single women market over there. 

You lost a lot of people on this forum with your constant advertisements for your own services.  It makes the comments you make look biased to say the least.

I do not think men need your type of services if they use what is call "COMMON SENSE".  More than likely, those men want someone to hold their hand because they are afraid.  I really don't think those are the types of men that should be in this endeavor anyway.  I can see getting help finding flats and things of that nature, but to fly over with a guide is a little over the top imo.


You quote your success rate but fail to qualify it with how many years of marriage yoru clients have possessed.




Thomas

[Simoni]

Simoni,
respectfully I would have to disagree. I think it's more like 0.0005% and not 5% as you state. I think that with my approach a western man would have a chance to tap into about 5 to 10% of the single women market over there. 

I don't know what the true percentage is.  I don't think anyone does, and I doubt survey research would be accurate in the fsu.  But we can agree that the concept pushed by some that women are desperate to leave the fsu is false.  Having lived there more than six months, I found very happy people, very content with their lives.

I met your wife and she is a lovely person, you really lucked out with her.
My wife also liked her very much

We enjoyed meeting your wife and daughter, too.   Your wife is very beautiful and has a charming personality.  And Marina is in LOVE with your precious little daughter.

[Gator]

Eduard,

You have an intuitive vs. analytical mentality, which is ideal for sensing the sincerity of women.  However, you are terrible at math.

There are 52,000,000 women in Russia in the 15-65 age group (as the Marines say, "8-80 and not dead for more than three hours").  

If only 0.00005% of the women intentionally look for a foreign husband, that calculates to 260 women TOTAL.  For sure the number is small, and less than 5%, but please try to be realistic.

Live from Ukraine,

You are in the Products and Services Exchange.  

I agree that Ed's guide, interpreter service, and apartment services are readily obtained in Russia, probably at a lower cost.  Nevertheless, do not overlook Ed's search of non-agency dating sites.  I have read elsewhere an opinion that such sites are gaining popularity in Russia.  Staying just with agencies overlooks this possible pool.  So this could be a really effective option.

It raises some new questions, but I am finding the discussion rather tedious.

[Makkin]

Hi,

  I appreciate the participation here from Ed as it helps myself to understand more about opinion,methods,probabilities,and many other aspects of this process.
  Seems to me he adds another choice involved with the introduction process and the ability to communicate with the ladies in FSU and that's a good thing in my opinion.
  The statistics of marriage and the amount of years is a viable question in terms of success and that sort of measured result but at the end of the day it's not how you met or how long you dated before marriage but rather how you adjusted and how you grew together rather than apart that will decide if in fact the marriage lasts. I doubt anyone helping a man meet a woman will have the ability to keep a marriage from failing or going great so why would you even attempt to guage a success rate on a person who handles the meeting process?
  I am thinking(IMHO) that Ed is offering a service to meet Russian women rather than attempt to say he can guearantee a success rate in the married life of the two people in question?

Makkin

[BillyB]

Ed, you will always have people look at your opinions and advice as suspect. One bad agenda driven post and your credibility is shot. I hope you stay and participate but your advice needs to be right on almost all the time. It's tough, are you up to the challenge?

I think it's good that you have your clients meet many women. They have a better chance to pick the right woman than just the first woman they meet.

One thing I like about bride.ru is that they advertise on Russian dating sites and bring in a different mindset of women. Some of those women are still open to dating RM and their agenda isn't just to leave the FSU.

Ed, I don't feel as negative about RW in marriage agencies as you though. Although a RW is looking for a better life and not open to dating her country men, it doesn't necessarily mean they're willing to use others as a mule to get the better life but instead be a loving partner and make a full contribution at home or financially by working a job when they get married.

[Kuna]

Kuna: I am not interested in other undercurrents running in this thread, but I will take this point up for a moment. Personally I have never had any much trouble to speak of, BUT corruption infects everything that happens in Russia at every level of business and lifestyle. Pity, but that is how it is and even now, having seen all that I have, my wife opened my eyes a few days ago when relating a story of two friends of hers who set up cosmetics shops in modern shopping centres.

One paid the "Umbrella" and one didn't. Both went to work the next day and one traded as normal whilst the other walked into the smoking burned out ruins of what was left. You figure it out but it is a lot more widespread than the visitor can possibly realise at first. No point calling the police if the next person is paying more than you are. Can't speak for Ukraine to any great extent, but the couple of visits I have had revealed much the same, no difference in Moldova, Latvia, Belarus and so on and in some places worse, so I dunno, but regardless of whatever agenda Eduard might be pushing, I think he is close to the mark on this one.

I/O

I'll let you know when I'm asked to pay for a "roof"...  and I'll also ask the BIL!

[Eduard]

Eduard,

You have an intuitive vs. analytical mentality, which is ideal for sensing the sincerity of women.  However, you are terrible at math.

There are 52,000,000 women in Russia in the 15-65 age group (as the Marines say, "8-80 and not dead for more than three hours").  

If only 0.00005% of the women intentionally look for a foreign husband, that calculates to 260 women TOTAL.  For sure the number is small, and less than 5%, but please try to be realistic.

Live from Ukraine,

You are in the Products and Services Exchange.  

I agree that Ed's guide, interpreter service, and apartment services are readily obtained in Russia, probably at a lower cost.  Nevertheless, do not overlook Ed's search of non-agency dating sites.  I have read elsewhere an opinion that such sites are gaining popularity in Russia.  Staying just with agencies overlooks this possible pool.  So this could be a really effective option.

It raises some new questions, but I am finding the discussion rather tedious.

Gator,
you are absolutely correct! being a musician by training and a Picses I am a lot more intuitive than analytical And it does help me tremendously in figuring out what a woman (or a man) is about. I trully can sense their aura...it's pretty weard...
I just typed a few zeros to demonstrate a point, never thinking that someone would actually take that number and do math with it. And the point was that there are maybe a few hundred thousand women advertising on agency sites compared to about 6 million women on local Russian sites that I use in my searches.
You are good!!!

[Eduard]

Ed, you will always have people look at your opinions and advice as suspect. One bad agenda driven post and your credibility is shot. I hope you stay and participate but your advice needs to be right on almost all the time. It's tough, are you up to the challenge?

Yes, I'm up for it. but let's keep in mind that all of us have an individual life experience and perception of things. I can only express what I know and feel according to my life experience. And you can bet that what I say comes from the heart and you can count on my honesty.
It doesn't mean that I'm always right because I realise that there are many dimentions to the TRUTH. I can only speak of my own personal experience and what worked or didn't work for me.

[Eduard]

I think it's good that you have your clients meet many women. They have a better chance to pick the right woman than just the first woman they meet.

Yes,
usually I find several women each week for the first few weeks that fit my client's criteria.
they chat on line, get to know each other, get a feel for each other's personality...and in about 6 weeks of this selection process we narrow it down to 3 to 5 women that my client really feels a good mutual connection with. Since I enterpret all their emails back and force I can advice my client weather I feel that a woman is sincere or if she sets off some red flags with what she says.
We also call and do 3-way conversations with women with me translating for them in real time. usually when we are ready to go to Russia my client has 4 or 5 women to meet with. The women that he already knows well and has a genuine connection with. Now the chemistry will take care of the rest 

[Lily]

For instance my wife and all her single girl friends told me that they would never joing a website to meet a foreigner. They can't fathom moving so far away from their family and a way of life that they are used to. Forget about going to those parties that some of these agencies throw for foreign men to meet Russian women. Those have a horrible reputation among the "good girls" that I know personally at least.
 

Eduard, did your wife and her single girlfriends give any reasons on why they 'd never join a website to find a man for themselves?

Your next sentence would undermine that they would not want a foreigner because they just don't want to leave their country...that's another thing for sure. Then they just don't want to marry a foreigner.

My interest would be, however, an eventual difference for Russian women of using the websites vs. joining an agency in order to find a Western man to love and marry. Have you heard anything from RW about this? What do they prefer to use and why?

[Eduard]

Eduard, did your wife and her single girlfriends give any reasons on why they 'd never join a website to find a man for themselves?

Your next sentence would undermine that they would not want a foreigner because they just don't want to leave their country...that's another thing for sure. Then they just don't want to marry a foreigner.

My interest would be, however, an eventual difference for Russian women of using the websites vs. joining an agency in order to find a Western man to love and marry. Have you heard anything from RW about this? What do they prefer to use and why?

privet Lilia!
I didn't say that my wife and her friends wouldn't use a website to meet men. I said that they wouldn't sign up specifically for an agency site that markets Russian women to western men. My wife did sign up to a local Russian site (maybe you remember "missing heart" AKA "mheart" that doesn't exist any more) and that's where I found her.
By the way gentlemen, another good tip for you:
My wife didn't even put up a photo on her profile. I read what she wrote in her profile and was touched by it and compelled to write her! I noticed in my search for my own wife that many very pretty girls don't put up photos on their profile so that they wouldn't get inendated by thousands of emails from guys that don't read a woman's profile and just bombard a profile with a prety face on it with a bunch of stupid emails, many times with really nasty remarks.
This is fact!!!! : When I had my 2 final choices after communicating with many and meeting a few in person in Russia - the 2 women that I liked the most and was really falling for were the ones without photos on their profiles!!! Yes they did send me photos after a couple of letter exchanges, and wow, they were beautiful...That goes to show you how important it is to read what a woman sais in her profile!

To get back to Lilia's question...basically both my wife and her friends are very close to their families and love their language, friends, clture and career. My wife misses her family terribly inspite the fact that they already visited us twice here in Florida.  One of my wive's girl friends is single, and we offered to help find a good guy for her, but she doesn't want to move to America and likes her life in Moscow and being close to her family. But I know, that just like in the case of my wife, if she is introduced to a really nice guy that she is genuinly attracted to and falls for she would follow him anywhere. All I'm saying is that she, like many other Russian women refuses to take the first step in that direction. She did run ads on local russian only site though...
As I said before, I can only speak of my own experience and what I see and hear from people that I come in contact with.

[SANDRO43]

I noticed in my search for my own wife that many very pretty girls don't put up photos on their profile so that they wouldn't get inendated by thousands of emails from guys that don't read a woman's profile and just bombard a profile with a prety face on it with a bunch of stupid emails, many times with really nasty remarks.

Another possible reason may be that they do not want to let their friends know about it . Not easy to identify a person from the scant information in an agency profile, while a photo is a dead giveaway.