Once Upon A Time...

[myrddin]

   Cold Dawn

By the time the sun infiltrates the windows, I’ve gotten less sleep than any other day.  But nothing can bring me down today (except maybe the camera thing...).  In any case, I’m more intent on exploring things with Lady E than exploring the city  (it’s not exactly a tourist trap, anyway).  I’ve got nothing to do but get ready to see Lady E again.

There is still no hot water.  Crap.  I *must* take a full shower today, hair washing and all, even in the ice cold water.  I try to find a setting that’s merely cool, but it just gets colder and colder.  I think that if I can just finish quickly enough, it might not be so bad.  Take note: This thought is wrong.  The ordeal is the best way I know to make minutes seem like hours.  I’ve heard it said that, if you eat a live frog in the morning, your day can only get better from there.  I’m expecting this day to get much better. 

Somehow I survive, and it’s still fairly early.  When I leave, I’ve got the death grip on everything I have with me, as if I could somehow get the lost pictures back.  The day is unseasonably cool.

I arrive at the agency and learn that the camera was not there.  Not a big surprise, but until it’s official there’s still that tiny sliver of hope.  I hang around and surf for awhile, and then the first terp comes in to do some business.  She’s naturally curious about what’s going on and she’s happy that Lady E and I seem to have really hit it off.  I need to get some cash (I finally found a home for those notes - settling up my bill with the agency, which looks impressive in gryvna, even with the deals Taz worked out) of the proper denominations.  The terp offers to help. 

I also want to get flowers for Lady E.  I think the agency folk were surprised by how that conversation went, since I was decisive and answered quickly (may not even have showed much nerves).

   They: What type?
   Me: Roses.
   They: What color?
   Me: Red.

I hadn’t thought this through ahead of time, except that I need to bring something for her besides a few little gifts.  When they ask, the answers are already there.  I’m starting to think I am actually getting ahead of the process a bit, instead of things just happening.  I don’t have a ton of time this trip and I don’t want to rush things.  But I do want to move things forward; I’m not leaving any doubt about that.  I’m already counting the days I have left.

I was thinking of hitting the ATM, but the terp finds a bank, and the rates are actually the best I’ve seen.  I worry too much over the amount to take out, since I want just enough to finish the trip without hitting these places again.  Plus, I need to worry about something.    It takes some time, but it’s good.  The dollar fell the every next day, so this was actually good timing for a change.

More importantly, it’s time to get that rose for Lady E.  We find a place nearby and the terp is asking me what I want.  Being a guy, I am of course overwhelmed with choices, but eventually settle on one long-stemmed red rose that looks like what I’d call “normal” variety.  I’m not really that bad, but my ex actually disliked roses, so I am way out of practice.  Once again, the terp is asking me if it’s just what I want.  Now I am *slightly* less dense than a neutron star by this point, and I am pretty sure she is thinking otherwise, so I just say that it’s “okay” and ask what she thinks.  Apparently, she’s not impressed and since she is an actual woman, I will go with her opinion.

We leave and head for another little place.  I wonder if there’s some information on that second x chromosome that prevents women from ever accepting the first thing found when shopping.  In any case, the terp has become my adviser so we’ll see what happens.  This place has something she says is much better.  If you’ve ever seen that commercial where the guy is being asked his opinion repeatedly and it’s ignored, think of the part where he’s dragged to a shoe store and his lady shows him three fancy heeled shoes and asks which he likes better.  The perspective then cuts to his view, and all three look exactly the same.  This is pretty much what I’m going through, but I accept they look different to her.  She doesn’t think I need it wrapped, but I prefer to stick myself only with metaphorical thorns.

On the walk, I discover that she had a big test in German on Monday, after two days of shepherding me around for 10+ hours and practicing English.  She aced it, too.  And she studied Spanish and French, as well.  Briefly, I wonder if I were taller if I’d be into her, too. 

Terp has an “appointment” (which I’m pretty sure was a date) soon and has already called a couple times to warn of being late, but after all this she shows me the way back to the agency (it’s a short cut).  I have to tell her five times I can find it.  Stories of my directional ability are probably being passed all along Mari.    I embarrass myself trying to sound out a word on a nearby building as a landmark, and I can finally send her off to her date.  She congratulates me on finding a “wife”, though she can tell I am not there yet (gotta enjoy the ride before doing something really foolish!)  It’s cute to see someone else feel awkward for a second, though.  We part on the sidewalk.  Just in case I was starting to forget how to feel awkward myself, there’s a moment where she’s standing, waiting for something.  It feels lile it would be totally appropriate to kiss her on the cheek, thank her (this help was all gratis) and send her off, but I slowly decide that if it is NOT appropriate and I do it, that would be a bigger problem than if it IS and I don’t.  So I just do this weird, silly half-bow thing like I think I’m in Japan, say something that sounded poetic in my head, and leave.

And I find the agency without a problem.

I still want to get a new camera.  My thought is to get something simple so there are some kind of images from the trip, I don’t plan to go all out until I’m back in the States.  Even a disposable would be better than nothing!  There’s time, and I know I’ve seen some Western-style stores, including one that reminds me a lot of Circuit City.  But R insists that Lady E will help me find one.  Unfortunately, I let that stand.

[myrddin]

It’s time to feed my internet habit yet again. (Sheesh, what the bloody hell did I do with my time before the net?)  I discover a language site called unforgettablelanguages.com, and I still have not forgotten the sample words.  But I’ll need to read Russian as well as speak it, so even if it all worked properly the transliteration is one extra, possibly wasted, phase of learning.  At the very least, they should also include the Cyrillic spelling.  I wouldn’t order it till I got back anyway, and I already have Ruslan at home.  It’s probably a good idea to not split my learning time across too many courses in parallel.  I’m committed to finishing Ruslan when I can, and only then will I think about “reviewing” with another course.  (I’m not convinced I’ll learn enough to justify moving on to the more advanced program, even when I finish Ruslan 1.)

I also searched for those Ukrainian authors on the list from Lady C.  There is some stuff that’s been translated into English, which I will also look for when I get home.

I force myself to stop surfing after looking at the profiles of the ladies I met and head back out to the main area.  A number of people are passing through the agency.  Someone asks R about the flower and R says something in Russian, then, “He has one lady now”.  It feels good.

R tells me to give Lady E my contact info so we can talk directly.  Already in my plans.

I am getting ready to see Lady E, thinking about what’s coming, when R gets a call.  This is hardly unusual, but as she’s speaking in rapid-fire staccato I probably couldn’t understand even if I knew the words, she’s looking at me.  Somehow I have some idea what this about, and when she hangs up she confirms it.  R had told Lady C that I had become ill.  But apparently Lady C was calling to ask R if I was better yet.

I cannot rationalize dishonesty with the notion that *I* had not told the lie myself.  I agonize over any type of dishonesty, even everyday pleasantries.  I never asked anyone to lie for me, though.

Lady C wants to see me again enough to take the initiative and call.  R is very smooth and kept that door open.  I haven’t forgotten about Lady C.  I like her a lot and I have no doubt she knows how to take care of a man.  Why R kept the door open I do not know (she’s a master, maybe she knows more than I do, too), but I still think Lady E is a better match for me.  And she’s getting all my attention tonight.  I was perfectly prepared to cut off all other options to pursue Lady E.  I still am, I am bemused by this occurrence.

This is about ten minutes before Lady E is due to arrive, so I file it away.  I am impressed with Lady C’s sensitivity and initiative, but as far as I am concerned this is now down to a VO trip.

[myrddin]

Lady E walks in about 10 minutes late, more beautiful than ever.  She does look good in heels, wow!  She’s done up from head to toe, definitely more “date-y” than yesterday, though she is always beautiful.

She is in a bit of hurry, though, moving quickly and anxious to go.  She has a taxi waiting.  Something is bothering her, but considering her happy greeting and kiss, I’m pretty sure it’s not me.  We are ready to leave for our first date sans terp.  I’ve got my travel dictionary, and I’ve been told that this can be a fun experience.

The rose is a big hit, I guess I ended up with the right one.

She is telling me about her day, and there is something that I hear but don’t really absorb.  I thought she said something about her boss and “dead”, but assumed it had to be my bad hearing or a misunderstanding.  But that’s what the dictionary is for.  Turns out her “big boss” died 2 days ago and today was the funeral.  She was standing in the rain all day (possibly she meant “all afternoon”) without an umbrella at the service.  He was very old, but she was close to him.  Not sure I could have been prepared for that.  My thought is that it’s weird and unfortunate that would happen at all, particularly during this week, but she still came to see me.  I’m pretty sure that’s a good sign.

We end up at the same restaurant, which must be her favorite place (though I almost walk up the wrong outside staircase).  This time I’ll tip the coat check guy. 

They put the rose in water, the service is still excellent.  Things start slowly, we can communicate, no thanks to my Russian, but I’m realizing she underestimated her English.  The dictionary does comes in handy, and the experience actually is a lot of fun.  We talk haltingly, but it quickly gets better. 

We start with the salad.  Even though she’s hungry at first she doesn’t eat much else.  She orders wine “to forget”.  She is still poring through the menu, very concerned over what I should have.  The borshch is very good, as is the bread, of course.  I think I was far less concerned about the specifics of my meals than she was.  I’m amazed that she’s so worried about me after all that’s going on.

She’s still feeling down from this day, though, and she says “sometimes I…” and after a while I realize the word is “smoke”.  My heart sinks just a bit.  I have spent enough time in my head to have wondered, in the past: if I met a perfect woman but she was a smoker, could I deal with it?  I’m wondering if I could get her to quit entirely.  I know the profile said no smoking, but that’s one of those things the boards warned me about so I am merely surprised, not shocked.  I tell her I never do and I dislike it very much.  She can’t be a serious smoker or I could smell it on her (I’m very sensitive to it).  I don’t get a chance to ask her if she thinks she could give it up completely, which is a mistake.  But either it’s not a big deal or she is able to resist for me, she doesn’t even take the things out of her purse.

I’m glad she wanted to see me, but this has got to be a rough time for her.  She’s telling me a story about watching a rich guy run down a 24-year-old woman in front of her eyes.  I can’t be sure how long ago this was, but it’s not too far in the past.  They guy suffered no consequences because of his money.  One thing that occurs to me is how sheltered my life has been.  I can’t even imagine watching that happen, never mind the subsequent injustice. 

She mentions how people who have multiple piercings (she has 3 earrings in one ear, I have two  ) who like her type of music sometimes get attacked.  She thinks the people of her town are angry.  I say I must have only met the nice ones.  We shift the topics to more positive things, though I can’t help but think I found a helluva time to meet her.  I sure hope her life isn’t always like this!

It gets better fast, but this whole date will be much too short.

She mentions going camping with some friends for 4 days.  I simply cannot tell if it’s this weekend, I know a lot of people have time off for the holiday.  Before I can clarify that, it turns out her mother is coming to visit her tonight, so she has to get home early.  I’m glad she managed to squeezed me in today, but she probably cannot see me tomorrow at all.  She won’t know for sure until then.  I had no idea about any of this until I hear it over dinner and there’s not much time left.  No new camera, still no pictures, less time with her.  I’m enjoying what I do have, but “sorely disappointed” is a significant understatement.

We have the restaurant call a taxi.  While we’re waiting I give her my contact info (I write it out by hand in front of her.  I had thought about using “business cards”, but it occurred to me that perhaps a woman might not be impressed by something that is designed to be handed out to many, many people....).  A bitter thought flashes in my brain: I don’t know when I will see her again. 

But her smile chases negative thoughts away.  Amusingly, she thinks my surname is “important” (I share it with some well-known people who I am pretty sure I am not at all related to.  I also share it with many thousands of Americans, but I can’t bring myself to dwell on this topic with her.)

I want to make sure I can continue to communicate with her after I am back in the US, because I’m already planning the next trip in my head.  I am trying to find out if she has available vacation time in a few months.  She doesn’t offer her information, and I try to gently prod her by telling her I want to make sure we can keep talking.  I am a little disturbed that she suggests we can talk through the agency because that’s not at all what I have in mind. 

But the taxi comes and we are heading back to her place.  I don’t want this date to end on any kind of negative note, and it won’t.  She is receptive to my touches and regrets we don’t have more time.  She smiles with her eyes.  I am totally smitten with her, and I know she likes me, but she is overwhelmingly busy with things today.  She is a bit distracted and sad, no doubt.  The chaos is affecting her.  She enjoyed our meeting very much and made sure I knew.  At her building, I help her out of the car (those things are still going smoothly).  I just look at her, trying to make the moment last.  I know she has to go, but that kiss erases other concerns.  She’s through the door to her building again, and I am heading back to my apartment.  And I do like to watch that lady walk.

Soon I’m back to my own apartment, the night is still pretty young.  By the time I write some of this down, the sun is not even completely set.  I sure as hell don’t have to be up early tomorrow, and I'm not going to sleep early.

[diverboy70]

Hi myrddin!

Just want to thank you for this fantastic strory! Ir's good reading for us newbies! Thank you for sharing your experience

[myrddin]

You're implying I'm not a newbie!  I only joined this board in late January of this year.  I guess I made it to "sophomore".     

(BTW, I know where you live and I'm jealous! I can't even get to St. Pete, Florida in an hour!  )

[myrddin]

   Random Walk

I head out into the night.  Sometimes I think better walking, and at least I won’t be able to distract myself by writing.  I’ve been known to spend energy and time writing when I should be living.

Lady E is on my mind, for sure.  I think I told her I was leaving Sunday, which is technically true.  But I seem to have forgotten that I leave from Kiev , so I must leave Mari on Saturday to be there in time to make that hateful plane out of Ukraine.  I already wish I could go back in time and clarify that, and figure out when I can see her again.

Even if I am more observer than participant at the moment, something feels right about being here.  Much of my thought process might be related to almost adding that anthropology major in college.  I’m reflecting a lot on both the many similarities between all human cultures and some of the small but wonderful differences.  The rest of my thoughts have to do with trying to plan out my too few remaining days.  That’s mostly focused on tomorrow, and wondering what I can do if I don’t get to see Lady E.  I did not skip Crimea to spend a day wandering around alone in Mari.

I have no particular destination in mind.  I thought about trying to look for a camera myself, but stores are closed by now.  I wander for awhile.  Since no one is looking, I have to check out one of the “casinos”.  It’s just machines, of course, about the size of a small laundromat, which it seems to also resemble in terms of its atmosphere.  It just strikes me as odd.  I actually have no desire to play anything, which surprises me just a tiny bit.

I am finally getting a feel for the flow of people through the city, the pulse of this town.  I can guess where people are going and make up stories about what they are saying to each other.  I see more than a few beautiful women.  It is actually on this walk that I realize I couldn’t deny it: a lot of these ladies are checking me out, not just glancing and dismissing me immediately (as women who look like that often do).  More than a few kept their eyes on me for a good long time.  It felt pretty damned good.  If I spoke passable Russian, I’d have no trouble meeting ladies even without websites or agencies.  It’s not something I do easily in America (where the percentages are low, people are trained to fear strangers, and in any case I’m not truly attracted to someone until I know something about her). 

Not one woman in Ukraine ever gave me the impression my attention bothered her.  In fact, most of them seemed to enjoy it, even just passing on the street.  It felt natural and right, as if this is how the world is supposed to be.

Soon I find myself going down a dark street.  This area looks what I would call “bad” in the US.  But an unattended 10-year-old walks by and I’m not sure.  Suddenly I see the militzia station.  So street crime is likely not an issue, but to be perfectly honest the presence of militzia does nothing to make me (or my wallet) feel safe, so I quickly make my way back to the better-lit part of town.

My mind won’t let go of the thoughts about tomorrow.  I didn’t skip Crimea to spend time alone in Mari.  Lady C calling to check up on me has come to mind more than once.  I’m thinking it’s a good thing R didn’t pass on what I had actually said.  Even if there was deception, it was absolutely necessary.  It isn’t that I didn’t want to see her again – I just thought that I had to make a choice and I wanted to get there quickly.  Perhaps too quickly.  No commitment means no commitment.  It is decidedly not the way I ever dated at home, because I never had multiple options simultaneously.  I’m aware that it could have sounded like rationalization, but I really do believe that until there IS a commitment, there is NO commitment.

I have no idea if the women are seeing other men, local or otherwise, and at this point I don’t have a right to delve into that.  They don’t ask me and I don’t ask them.

I realize now I probably canceled my further meetings too early (after NOT canceling the other meetings on Day 2 to spend more time with Lady E....  Of course then I’d never have met Lady G....  I’m a pendulum swinging too far one way, then the other.  Maybe someday I’ll be able to see that golden mean before I charge right past it.).  I stop focusing on mistakes for a moment and I realize what what I must do.

Apparently it’s not too late to call R.  She says she will tell Lady C I am better now and I can see her tomorrow.

It’s done.  I am not sure what to do if Lady E calls while I’m out, but I’ve got time to think of something.  And I’m aware she might not call at all. 

Another of those curious thoughts that sometimes come to my brain out of left field crosses my skull: what woman would want to think that her man chose her when he had no other good options?

This walk spans several hours.  It is a beautiful night, complete with the Cheshire grin of moonlight that precedes a lunar eclipse.  It would have been nice to share that with a lady.  But clouds roll in before it goes total.

I still never find that night club.   

[steviej]

Man, what an experience you are having ... I think WOVO/WMVM is in fact a mobius strip, two sides of one surface ... Interesting comment about meeting girls on the street. Makes it seem that we should recomment to all the "newbies" to try to learn enough Russian to get around and say hello to ladies ...

[Taz]

That is one of the reason I've have long been an advocate of learning Russian. A chance encounter on the street can change your life. It definitely opens up your options. That is why I strongly encouraged myrddin to learn some Russian. To his credit he is hard at work learning it right now. I met some pretty amazing women because of my language skills.

If you think about it, how many of the RW speak English? If you only search for RW with English ability you have limited yourself to a very small subset of the population at large. I'd prefer to keep my options as open as possibility. They also seem greatly to appreciate any Russian ability you have.

[Ooooops]

That is one of the reason I've have long been an advocate of learning Russian.

Taz, if I remember correctly you lived in Russia for a while, didn't you?   So from my opinion and experience I'd say that if a guy are so fascinated with Russian women why no spend some time there instead of "wife hunting trips"?   

[myrddin]

There's no downside to making effort to learn the language, and huge potential upside.  Even the few words I did know beforehand were very much appreciated.  And I find it hard to believe some guys don't even try, but it does separate you from them.

For the record, I don't think of it as wife "hunting" any more than I think of local dating that way.

[Taz]

Taz, if I remember correctly you lived in Russia for a while, didn't you?   So from my opinion and experience I'd say that if a guy are so fascinated with Russian women why no spend some time there instead of "wife hunting trips"?   

I never typically went on wife hunting trips. My main purpose to go back has been for vacations. If I met someone while there then I was open to a relationship. I met my ex Russian wife while visiting friends there. If I didn't speak Russian I would have never met her. In many ways I don't regret the experience I just regret her meeting her daughter.

If it wasn't for my Russian ability I would never have gotten the job in Moscow in the first place. If I met someone on vacaction then I would typically go back to spend time with them. I enjoy the FSU and since I have a long history with it, I enjoy going back. Many of my trips I took my mom because she enjoyed traveling. My entire thrust wasn't to go meet women. I had already been to Russia on the order of 10 times before I even knew there were dating websites focusing on women from the FSU.

Quite honestly I've seen most of the rest of the world. I haven't seen all of it that I want yet. I've pretty much been everywhere I want to see in South America, I've been all over Africa, I've seen all of Europe. I've been to the far East such as Japan, China, Hong Kong, etc. The FSU and Australia are the only places that hold any real interest for me.

I have assissted friends from time to time on their wife hunting trips. Unfortunately I've had my vacation ruined because of that. OTOH, if it wasn't for JD, I wouldn't have met Lana even if he did screw up my trip to Crimea. I'll take the good with the bad.

To add to myrddin's comments, in general all men are hunters to some extent. If we weren't most women wouldn't be interested in us.

[myrddin]

   Two Roads...

Might have slept a bit later this morning.  Hot water is nowhere to be found, but at least I can minimize my time in it today.  An interesting little tidbit: I never built up any kind of tolerance for cold showers, yet I continued to think I could just get through it quickly and avoid finding an actual solution.

I spend the day wandering, though I do have vague goals of observing people and finding some gifts for friends and family in the US.  I’ve noticed a few people on the street with black earbuds.  I suppose that they don’t want to draw attention.  Most of them have the actual mp3 players inside their jackets and you have to look closely to see those earbuds.  I don’t know if I was worried about losing mine but I have not taken it with me out of the apartment until now.  Not that I want to lose it, but even if I do it is easily replaceable.  (I’ve heard that Mac is not popular in these parts, so I brought my backup ThinkPad.  All of my music, files, and work are on that Mac at home so at least that won’t be lost even if something bad happens to my other stuff.)
 
So I’m walking arounds Ukraine, listening to Dino, indeed feeling incredibly lucky (and, of course, since I’m not actually of that generation, I’d also play Rainbow’s “Man on the Silver Mountain”), and even sounding out some of the signs.  (Not well, of course.)  I’m still worried about choosing between ladies, and thinking about more than just Ladies E and C.  I’ve got a couple full days left in town, but I am feeling some time pressure. And two ladies seems like more than enough for now! 

I explore more of that street market.  I look at several things, but there are no good souvenirs.  I can communicate well enough to buy a phone card and look at some items in a store (such as translated Harry Potter books), but not well enough to communicate or bargain with people.

At least partially because of my new soundtrack, I lose track of time.  I’m surprised at the clock when R calls to tell me that Lady C is getting off work early because the holiday’s coming.  I was going to see if someone could help me get a new camera, but R informs me that Lady C will help me.  I only briefly consider looking on my own, before deciding that I know where we are going first today.

[myrddin]

I decide to NOT get any flowers for Lady C, because I am not certain where that’s headed or what type to get.  Frankly, I feel a bit guilty - I have to keep reminding myself that I have no commitments to Lady E though she remains my first interest.  But I do need to get Lady C something.  I also want to get some gifts for R, the terp and the agency people in general.  I must have eaten ten pounds of the agency’s chocolate in the last few days (a good agency always has some form of chocolate.  )

I can find my way around now and I search several places as I head in the general direction of the agency, without anything really standing out.  On my little excursion, I stop at a promising-looking store that would not be out of place in my American suburbia (if the signs weren’t in Cyrillic).  As I enter the store, two middle-aged men are looking at me and are saying something in Russian.  It doesn’t seem rude, but all my confidence flees as I cannot understand a single word.  I realize it’s about 1:30 and assume they’re closed for lunch.  I don’t think I said anything at all, just turned around and walked out.  :noidea:

Finally I am right across a courtyard from the agency’s building.  There is a tiny free-standing building there I’ve passed several times.  On a whim, I go in and discover a little convenience store.  My only thought about this is that I hope they don’t pay much rent for this inconspicuous location.  But luckily chocolate is in abundance and I can recover from my failure at the other store.  Well, I can point and hoot like a chimp is more like it, but I do make my purchase. 

So I get the chocolate for R and the agency people, but then R insists I should give it to Lady C.  I think I should have pressed the issue, but it felt like I had a lot on my mind.  I hadn’t planned to give Lady C nearly two pounds of candy, though!  Yes, I could have only given her some of it and left the rest at the agency.  No excuses, this is just what happened.

[myrddin]

Back at the agency, I am on the net for a bit.  I must have been in withdrawal with a few days offline, but now I’m just killing a little time.  I come across a fascinating website made by a Canadian guy who’s moving to Russia for his fiance.  It is about how the interaction of men and women is just better and more natural in FSU, compared to the West.  It’s hard to argue with the examples. There are two pictures of the approach to International Women’s Day on March 8.  One is a feminazi demonstration/march in Canada that amounts to a male-bashing orgy of hate, the other is a Russian pageant celebrating femininity and beauty.  Even though attitudes are not universal in any country, there is something different here.

I also discover a very familiar looking picture - it was once sent to me via e-mail but is actually a Russian actress rather than the “lady” I was corresponding with.  Which I now find merely mildly amusing.  There were times when I had wondered if it really was a scammer who first contacted me on true.com, even though it was a classic progression to the “need cash for visa” scam.  The actress is a good choice, but it occurs to me that I’ve met ladies who look at least as good in person.  The actress reminds me just a bit of Lady D.  And I realize why it was relatively easy to let go of that: I am pretty sure we simply don’t seek the same lifestyle.  Of course, I wish I’d had time to be sure – I must have gotten greedy fast.  

With all its issues, I still think the internet is better than TV.  Without the net, I could never confirm that this commercial actually existed, which pretty well sums up the attitude thrust at me when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s.  It is a good thing I’ve always been more than a bit contrarian.  I now find this piece funny for completely different reasons than they intended ca. 1984.

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va_IIOKYl6M[/youtube]

I’ve heard that RM’s and UM’s are amused or bemused by the phenomenon of foreigners seeking women from their countries.  It occurs to me that people who are spoiled rarely recognize it.  I, on the other hand, am very well aware than I am being spoiled and I intend to fully enjoy it!

[steviej]

What a funny video !! 

How will you find the strength to get on that plane and leave ??

[Jet]

Without the net, I could never confirm that this commercial actually existed, which pretty well sums up the attitude thrust at me when I was growing up in the 70s and 80s. 

I bow to your superior skills googlemaster! I've been looking for that commercial forever!

[Gator]

myrridin,

I  recall the Wendy's commercial.  It is old, yet I would never have thought it was as recent as 1984. 

It worked at the time because such was the perception of the target audience - people who dine regularly on fastfood hamburgers.   I knew better from having worked for the UN and having traveled around the world.   Yet, it still made me laugh.

It too had been snarled in the cobwebs of my mind.  Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

[myrddin]

I had actually totally forgotten that was a Wendy's commercial until I found it again.   

Actually, I dine fairly regularly on fast hamburgers though these days I'm more likely to have their chicken BLT salad.  My first meal at Wendy's wasn't until college in 1991, after my trip to Moscow and St. Petersburg (and meeting some very nice RW). 

It just reflects so well the view of Russia promulgated in American media for so long it never totally left my head.  And in 1991, I didn't have anyone with whom to share my discovery about how wrong that commercial was!

[myrddin]

   Two Roads (con't)

I hear from R that Lady C called to say she’ll be late.  Just a little more time to get nervous, though I really think I am not as bad as I was on earlier days. 

I soon find out where Lady Z got her new pictures for flirt.com.ua – not only is she parallel pathing with an agency, it’s this agency!  I still feel bad about not calling her, but I see some things in her agency profile that I didn’t see on flirt.  I feel like I should make notes about asking about all my deal breakers and concerns ASAP.  It’s tough when you’re not getting a lot of responses, in contrast to these last few days, but it’s probably even more important to not compromise when you feel you have few options.  "Sticking to your guns" doesn't mean much when it’s easy.  Being there in person makes a huge difference in that response rate, since apparently the extent of my obvious natural charm falls just short of 5,000 miles.... 

Lady C ends up being about 30 minutes late because of a bus accident.  I am not certain if she was on the bus or just delayed by the commotion.  She called twice to apologize.  My last thought before she enters is, “I hope I am not a bad person, I’m still not sure what to do if Lady E calls.”

Lady C came from work and is dressed similarly to how she was before.  She looks harried, but beautiful.  Why do these women keep wanting to make decisions harder for me?

R translates a bit.  Lady C has a big book with her – she has been spending all her time off work studying “my language”.  Not “English”, but “my language.”  (Apparently I do know those words in Russian....)  She speaks some Polish and German, and actually German would come in handy.  Though I’ve never successfully spoken with an actual native-born German speaker.  I can understand a fair bit, or at least fool myself into thinking I can. 

One thing that really struck me, when we did use German, is that I never had any trouble with figuring out what language was being spoken.  In the past, I’d be so focused on trying to understand one language that I didn’t even notice if someone used another (even if it was words I knew well in that language!).  My brain has one slot for English and one slot for “Other”, which has always been a problem.  But this goes smoothly.

Lady C is still noticeably nervous about not having help with translation, but she’s willing to brave it and we both have our dictionaries.  I had worried about her profile from the start because it didn’t even mention English ability, but she’s either the fastest learner on the planet or she’s been reviewing and her English is starting to come back quickly. 

She does ask me how I’m feeling, and what was wrong.  I can truthfully say that I am feeling better now. 

So I’m finally off to replace my camera, trying not to focus on exactly how many days of potential photos were lost to not replacing it earlier, never mind losing all the initial pics.  Lady C knows where to go and I’m not inclined to argue.  Our communication is largely based on key words, but the hours we already spent with interpreters are useful to fill in some of the gaps.  It sure ain’t perfect, but there’s definitely motivation.  And she’s ensuring I don’t get lost by keeping my arm. 

The first place we go into is pretty much a Ukrainian version of Best Buy or Target.  Aside from the little gates on the way in (and the language), there’s nothing to really distinguish this place from a store in the West.  We find the camera section and after some quick conversions, I notice the prices are very similar to the West, also.  I guess that makes sense, since I recognize 90% of the brand names.  I should count myself lucky there’s no additional premium.  I really don’t want a new “main” camera, though.  I know I’ll need to do my homework, well, at home.  I just want some type of images from this trip.  I’m looking at the least expensive of the devices, and just hoping she won’t think I’m greedy if I pick the second cheapest (it seems halfway decent).  Some others look promising but I simply don’t know enough to make a good decision, and even the “cheap ones” run in the $100-$200 range (and I have no concept of the tax situation).  Already worried about seeming “greedy”, I am not about to try to discuss “disposable” cameras.  I’d imagine they’d be nearby, if they had them, and I don’t see any.

Lady C tracks down a salesman to ask some questions.  I can’t follow any of that.  She asks me if this is what I want, and I try to say that it could be.  But I’ve got a feeling she’s not happy with something, so we head out to another store.

[myrddin]

-
Little did I know this would turn into a mini-quest.  It’s good thing we’re looking for electronic gadgetry.  She seems very concerned about getting the right thing.  The situation at the next store is worse, in some ways.  It’s in a department store complex, again one that would fit in a Western city.  On the way there, I get to try one of those tiny elevators, though the shape seemed weirder to me more than the size – it was very narrow but relatively long. 

Definitely city-style prices in this place.  The cheapest camera here is more like $300, and there aren’t many of those.  I must have a doubtful stance, as this place looks to me like exactly the sort of store that has huge markups and few sales.  The salesmen seem a little snotty, though I do realize that could by my own various biases.

Finally we’re off to a place called “Fox”, which was the building that reminds me a lot of Circuit City.  It’s got a good selection, and the opportunity to spend up to several thousand gryvna if you like!  A friend of hers works there and he speaks some English, so a horribly stilted conversation results in me finally getting a camera that I think is more than decent (more than I wanted to spend, too, but at this point I feel like I just want to stop shopping soon!).  When she and her friend and some of the other workers are talking, I might catch one word in 50. 

I really, really, really wish I had started studying the language much earlier than I did.   I can guess they’re not laughing at me, but they certainly are laughing near me, and I don’t get the jokes.  I almost catch myself wishing I had simply not gone over the pond so soon after getting involved in this, but then I wouldn’t have met any of these ladies.  And I fear that, for me, the longer the wait the less chance of my actually getting on the plane.  Still, I’m very self-critical as I try to think if I truly could have studied more Russian before getting to the place; there really weren’t all that many weeks.  As it is, I have plenty of time for my own thoughts because I can’t follow what’s being said.

Even after finally choosing the camera, there’s some paperwork.  I think it’s for a discount card (probably not a credit card, though they take them here).  Lady C fills that out.  For some reason I’m fascinated watching her write out everything in Russian, half printing and half handwriting (or it could just be I can only really recognize the letters that don’t change much in script).  She tries to give me the card but I tell her she should keep it for me, since we don’t have this store in the US.  Then I realize the batteries are “RRR” or something, and I worry I don’t have any so I buy several (spares for when the thing runs down, and how will I get those in the US?)).  Later I’d discover those are actually AAs, which I have a bunch of in my suitase.

We make it out of there and head for a park.  It’s still fairly early and she’s not hungry.  It’s a leisurely time, we’re not in any hurry and of course she’s never rushed.  I am eager to actually get some pictures, even if it means letting her take some of me (which has been known to spell the end of some cameras...).  With the help of some bystanders, I finally get a picture of us together that I will be able to take home.

[steviej]

Keep those legs steady ...

[myrddin]

Things are going well. [I’m not going through absolutely everything, believe it or not!]

Eventually it’s getting cold and she’s feeling a bit peckish, so we head back to find dinner.  Nothing’s not quite that simple, since she spends what seems to me like a lot of time and effort trying to figure out what I want.  It’s been so long since that’s happened to me...my newfound easy-going nature isn’t helping make a decision, plus I really am not feeling picky.  I do carefully avoid mentioning the place I went with Lady E because I’m not completely brain dead.  We would head into and reject two other places first, neither of which had detectable issues (to me).  Anyway, the cafe we settle on is a decent little place near the center of town.  Against Taz’s advice, I would try bacon on my pizza.  Now, I won’t admit Taz was right, but I will say that if I never have Ukrainian “bacon” again, I doubt my life will any less full. 

She also gets pizza (without mushrooms).  Her favorite drink is banana juice, so at least I feel like I am actually in a different place despite this being the third continent where I’ve eaten pizza.  Maybe all those stores reminded me too much of home, and I like to experience other-ness when I travel.  I have orange juice instead of pop, which I may be on the verge of giving up despite my long, close relationship with the carbonated sugary concoction.  Her favorite drink is a lot healthier.

I have to try banana juice, it just sounds a little funny to me.  It’s okay, I’ll probably stick to real bananas.  But as I hand it back she asks to see my phone.  I just said I wasn’t completely brain dead, but I’m not fully alert.  I assumed she was just curious what it was like, but she’s seen plenty of cell phones.  What she’s actually doing is putting our numbers in each other’s phones.  Oh.  I belatedly realize I’m lucky I didn’t program any other lady’s number in before that.  It could have been awkward if there were things other than Taz’s and R’s numbers in there.  Talk about dumb luck!  I barely remember my own phone number these days, and most of the numbers in my phone I have never actually dialed number-by-number.  But I rarely think about whose phone numbers are programmed in it.

More importantly, we’re laughing and talking and at one point I just stop to look at her.  I can’t help but notice how much more attractive to me she is than most of the women in the US who have been interested in me.  This date is going almost alarmingly well, on my end.  I do my best to give the lady I’m with all my attention, but unbelievably there are other fine ladies interested in me here, and I haven’t forgotten about them.  I still fear that might make me a bad person.

After a time, she just wants to go for a walk.  We head out for an evening walk back towards another park.  There are some rides and such there, but she just wants to walk and talk, and sometimes gaze peacefully at the world around her.  She really is amazing. 

I gotta step in it sometime, though, and this one will be a surprise.  We are talking about our families and it’s only natural to ask about her parents, which is when I learn that her mother was murdered.  How do you not ask someone about her parents?  I don’t want to dwell on this, I get the impression it was some time ago and she’s dealt with it as well as anyone could.  But there’s nothing to say.  All I can do is let some time pass and move on to another subject.  Once again, I’m wondering just how sheltered my life has been. 

In a relatively natural way, things move on to her cousins, two of whom have young children.  So thankfully we move on to a happy topic! 

Then she wants to hear about my little sister, whose birthday I missed for this trip.  Lady C is concerned that I left a gift at home for her (which I did) and very interested in what I think of my sister’s boyfriends.  I can sum up my opinion by saying that her current one is better than the previous parade of losers, but I’ve never actually approved of any of them.  Lady C finds this very amusing, though I doubt she understood the entirety.  She says it shows how much I care about my sister.  I thought it just meant that I seriously questioned her judgment. 

[myrddin]

We aren’t filling every moment with words, but there are no lulls in the conversation.

She says she has a gift for me and digs out a burned CD from her purse.  It is Ukrainian guitar music.  I mention that I should be able to play it on my computer.  We continue to walk and she is pretty much guiding me.  She basically leads me back to my apartment.  I doubt she’s impressed, but she says something polite, and she does have this cute way of calling my xootr a “car”.  She knows it’s not quite right but it’s basically the right idea!

Alas, I cannot get the CD to work.  I haven’t had this computer too long and I actually have not played a CD in it before, but I didn’t expect a problem.  I try several different things, trying not to appear as frustrated as I’m becoming.  She’s probably thinking “a real man could make it work”.  But I don’t want to spend my time fiddling with computer problems. 

Then she gets a phone call and I am trying not to eavesdrop, even though I’m lucky to make out two words.  She tells me it was R.  A few minutes later I get a call from R.  Basically, she wants to know how things are going (very well).  R is thrilled.  She wants me to know that Lady C has the whole Victory Day holiday weekend free and we can arrange our own meetings.

So I won’t get to hear her music but I have plenty on my iPod to share with her.  Luckily, I neglected to bring any speakers so we have to share the headphones. 

I figured she might want to listen to a few songs.  I don’t know how long it took, but she at least looked at everything on that sucker (about 4500 songs) and listened to more than a few.  I was trying to absorb some of her patience – she can certainly spare it!  I loved the fact that she didn’t seem to follow any particular “type”.  Rock, classical, metal, alternative, she even liked the Beastie Boys (sure, it was just “Namaste”, but still, back home a woman like this would have to keep that a secret in some circles).

Life has been a lot worse.  But my alarm at things going “too well” was justified.  We had gone from AC/DC to ZZ Top (I sort of wish the genres at the top and bottom were more different) without any sign of urgency.

 Then suddenly we get to The Bad Thing.

[groovlstk]

Anyway, the cafe we settle on is a decent little place near the center of town.  Against Taz’s advice, I would try bacon on my pizza.  Now, I won’t admit Taz was right, but I will say that if I never have Ukrainian “bacon” again, I doubt my life will any less full. 

Man, do they really use salo as a pizza topping? That just ain't right... Was this Celentano's?

[sillyboy]

Good to see that you're back writing again! Whew! I was going through withdrawals!
Luckily I was able to calm the shakes by reading another very interesting TR from Muckracker. (very good!)
 I like that Lady C burned you a CD. I think that it makes for a very thoughtful gift. I did the same for the ladies that I met on my first (and only) trip to Ukraine in '06. Did she hand write something thoughtful on the face of the CD for you? Were you ever able to get it to play?