Once Upon A Time...

[myrddin]

Day 1, Lady A

    I am floored that she actually wanted to meet me as she stands up. Focusing my attention on her instead of the commotion around me is not difficult, but I doubt I can make a good impression as I stumble for something to say. My throat would remain closed up for the next three hours.

   Luckily, R is on top of things and begins talking.  Unfortunately, I can understand what she’s saying:  Just on the off chance I wasn’t nervous enough already, I find out this is Lady A’s first meeting with a foreigner. Now, others might find that a good thing. I just think, “Great, on top of everything else, now I’m representing the entire Western world!”

   Not only that, but this is also the terp’s first day. (She’s the almost gratuitous hot blonde who was sitting next to Lady A.)

   Yikes.


   We go to a small office at R’s suggestion for a modicum of privacy.  At least I can finally say things, and Lady A answers nicely. It’s a good thing we haven’t corresponded beforehand: questions I would normally ask in early letters I can ask in person, which gives me something to say. And really, that’s my only goal at this point.  Being there to see her body language and hear her voice tells me a lot more about her than words on a page. I can tell she is very shy, which I can certainly identify with.

    She looks at the terp half the time when speaking, and half at me.  Actually, sometimes she glances away from me as if she’s nervous. I’ve got a feeling she’s not just feeding off my demeanor.  It’s an odd dynamic as I try to find my way through this process. I’m no longer nervous about meetings in general, I’m nervous about talking to a gorgeous lady with a quick mind and a kind of subtle humor that comes through even with an interpreter. She is an engineer but now works as an administrator of some kind. Later I would find out she moonlights, working at a fitness club.  It’s fair to say the effort she puts into her body and mind has had great results!

    Eventually I ask if she would like to get lunch, so we head off to eat. She chooses the place and tells the terp. People watch us as we head out, which normally makes me pretty uncomfortable. This is no exception, though I’m sure they were just curious how things were going. I’m thinking it’s going about as well as it can. Even I can tell this lady doesn’t hate me, and some of these things flying around in the air just might be sparks.

   I’m not terribly smooth getting the doors and helping her into the taxi, but she tolerates the effort.

   Turns out the restaurant is a place that Taz recommended during our whirlwind tour, which I consider a good sign.  I find that I can’t take the initiative as far getting the table and so on, since I don’t even know how things work here.  The place looks like a mid-level restaurant in the States, where I still wouldn’t know if it was “seat yourself” or “be seated”. A sign somewhere probably says, but for some crazy reason it’s in Russian.

    There’s hardly anyone in the place, just some workers sitting at a table, looking like the last thing they really want is customers. The terp tells me it’s “seat yourself”, so I choose a table towards the middle.  About the only things I’m conscious of when making this choice is that I don’t want to appear indecisive, and that the lighting at this table will be good for Lady A.   

   Taz told me the first meeting was often a throw-away, but despite everything I think it is going well. My stupid throat is so bad it’s interfering with my speech, though. I drink as much water was I can, but I fear it will never recover.

    She pores over the menu. It seems to me she’s spending an inordinate amount of time and effort examining that thing. Since I learned to keep me mouth shut once in awhile, I just listen and watch.  She’s explaining the dishes to me and once she finds out I don’t eat mushrooms or seafood it’s like she’s on high alert for those things. She has a salad, as does the terp. I’ve got some kind of sandwich and a soup that is not borscht.

    There are some pauses at lunch. I want to know everything I can about her, but I am content just to look. Half the time I’m thinking, “I cannot believe I am out with this girl!”.  She is reserved, but charming, and very, very smart.  At one point we are talking about science and philosophy and fate, and I realize, “She’s not just smart, she’s f-ing brilliant!” 
   
    We finally get our food and I drink as much water as I can (which still doesn’t help my throat much). I go against all my instincts and try to eat light because I realize I might be having four meals today.

   One thing I liked about her profile was that she mentioned pets, and she has several. The way she smiles when she talks about her dog says a lot about her character. Another thing I notice at that point is that she’s looking at me longer and looking away less. If she didn’t, I’d think more about how easy it would be to get lost forever in those eyes....   

   It’s hard to tell what the terp thinks, I think she’s struggling to keep up and I’ve decided to keep my eyes on Lady A. I try to keep my words simple to make translation easier, but that’s pretty far from my normal speech patterns. But she keeps going, repeating and rewording and asking questions. I just might be starting to learn how to make things a bit easier. Still, apparently a lot of my questions don’t make sense and I am not always certain what Lady A means, even after the terp has translated the words.

   We cover a lot of topics. The way she says she wants 3 children makes it clear she’s given it considerable thought. Two is definitely not enough. I wonder if 3 is some semi-magical number because I’m guessing few families in the FSU have 3 kids.

   The bill for all three meals is the equivalent of about 12 bucks. My tip works out to something around 10%, I totally failed to find out what is really customary here. I sure don’t want to overtip (the service was merely passable), but I think undertipping is worse for several reasons. Whatever the case, no one bats an eye so I’m off the hook.

   After lunch she suggest going for a walk and guides me towards a park in the center of town. I suggest some pics with the theater in the background, and she seems happy to oblige.  For some reason, I actually think for a second about someday needing documentation of meetings, but I don’t need a lot motivation to get close to this lady! She is definitely very shy, but I think it’s possible she might like me.  The terp's pic skills are about as bad as mine, but at least the camera works. Lady A likes the pictures.

   We continue to walk around the park as she tells me about her family and points out some of the sites. I suppose the time could have been more comfortable, but it certainly could have been a whole lot less! She even tries to say a few words in English, and I savor that accent.

   Sometimes she does not understand what I am trying to say, or the terp doesn’t.  But though sometimes confused, she never gets upset or flustered. She wants to find out as much about me as I am finding out about her.

   When the time comes, I thought it was a pretty damned good nearly 3 hour date, but I’m not sure how to end it. I’m not entirely sure I want to.... Despite all the foolish things I say and do, I can stop myself before, “well, gotta go to another date, smell ya later”. 

    As I’m wondering about this, R calls the terp and solves my problem. The terp calls a taxi and we head back to the front of the theater building to meet it. Lady A says she had a good time, and that it was sort of like an English lesson for her. I’m not quite sure how to take that. I can’t know if some of the awkwardness is me, her, the terp, three people doing this for the first time, or a sign of something more important. 

   It is not hard to see how great a woman Lady A is. I haven’t gone out with many women better than her, if any, and I have definitely done worse. I do have some questions about whether I can be the “outgoing” one in a couple.  I also wonder if I have time to get past the extreme shyness. I know there is a lot to this lady, and the man who takes the time to draw her out will be richly rewarded. I’m just not entirely certain I can or should be that man.

   I do know that I want to meet her again and find out.

    We take Lady A to her flat and at least I’m a little better getting the door and helping her out of the taxi. As she disappears into her building, I’m thinking about how, even if that was my only meeting, I’d have to say the whole trip went pretty well.

    On the way back to the agency, the terp talks to the driver a little, but I don’t say much.  I have three more ladies to meet and I am afraid of being late.



    I really wanted some time after each meeting to write down everything I can, but as I enter the agency, I’m told Lady B is already waiting for me in that small office.

   I’m pretty sure the only people in the office were R and a couple of terps. They all look at me with these odd smiles when they say Lady B is “a very emotional girl”, as if that’s something a guy should find absolutely irresistible. I’m not sure what they mean but I don’t say anything. I’m thinking “Great, I wonder if it means she cries at car commercials,” as I enter the room....

[Jet]

Man, tough room!     Between working overtime, workout programs, Russian lessons, and writing and talking to certain people    I've sacrificed sleep to post every day.

All in good fun 
A little good natured ribbing to let you know we're all very interested in the story so far 

[Swisskid]

I can't wait to hear the full story about this one.  I remember her.  Wish I would have seen her in person.  She about wore you out didn't she? 

[Simoni]

    On the way back to the agency, the terp talks to the driver a little, but I don’t say much.  I have three more ladies to meet and I am afraid of being late.

What a wonderful problem to have!!!    You are not in Clearwater anymore!  LOL

Excellent TR; thanks so much for sharing--your writing style is great!

[felix8787]

Good trip report Myrddin. Waiting to read some more.

felix8787

[groovlstk]

The shower’s got no curtain and no rod for one, and despite my best efforts the bathroom is soaked. Good thing I don’t believe in omens.

In all the apartments I stayed in, including my wife's, I never saw a shower curtain OR a plush bath towel I hated soaking the bathroom floor too, eventually I decided the only safe way to shower was to sit or kneel in the tub.

Great TR by the way, myridden. You, Taz, and swisskid are owed big high-fives. It's been a long time since I've seen so many threads generating so much excitment without flames or ill-will. And while I'm at it, I'd also say that new members like Doll, Felix, Wienerin, and Ooops (there are more whose names I won't mention to avoid polluting this thread any longer) have also made for some great discussions.

[KenC]

“I cannot believe I am out with this girl!”.  

I remember that same exact thought when I was with Lena on our first date!  My reeaction to that thought was to just go for it as if I deserved such a woman!

Enjoying your report a lot.
KenC

[dneid]

All in good fun 
A little good natured ribbing to let you know we're all very interested in the story so far 

Ditto, dude.  I am so enjoying your TR.  Having recently completed my first trip, I am having such wonderful flashbacks.  You are so right about these women.  They are just amazing.  Charming, attractive, witty, intelligent, and oh so feminine.  I kept pinching myself the whole time I was there.

[Jet]

 

In all the apartments I stayed in, including my wife's, I never saw a shower curtain OR a plush bath towel I hated soaking the bathroom floor too, eventually I decided the only safe way to shower was to sit or kneel in the tub.

Lil is taking a bunch of good shower curtains from BB&B over this year as decent ones are impossible to find and even the crappy ones are outrageously priced

[myrddin]

Hey guys, I know it's just in fun, it’s cool    
I’m really not trying to drag it out, but it is incredible to re-live it all.


Simoni,

 looks like I’ll be back to Ukraine before Clearwater...Beach.... 70 yards from the water.  Sigh, leaving was largely a necessity, not a choice.  Sure, it was a hell of a drive to the Museum, but what a place to come home to!


groovlstk and Jet

It’s good to know I’m not alone in this predicament - I actually did bring my own towel, but I neglected to pack a shower curtain and rod!


KenC,

the best I could do while with Lady A was open myself to the possibility :wink:  I eventually realized there's no percentage in making that call for the lady, she can decide for herself! 

[myrddin]

Day 1, Lady B

   My throat has finally given up on trying to make its sides go through each other, so it’s actually let up for a change. I think maybe my nerves may actually be getting a bit tired after annoying me for the past 98 hours. The rest of me is following, though: I’m well beyond exhaustion as the terp and I enter the room.

   The lady sitting there watches us as we take our seats.  Another absolutely stunning blonde.  From her eyes and her smile, I must accept the premise that she might just like what she sees.

   And she’s not the only one.  At first glance, I think, “in America this woman would not just not be interested, she’d ignore me on instinct”.  In my life, a woman who looks like this only exists on magazine covers or on TV, not in reality.  But she agreed to meeting, so we sit down to talk in that small room.  She is fun and interesting, and her smile is dazzling.

   She is definitely dressed up very nicely, but makes it look like it wasn’t much effort.  Her outfit is ... well, I don’t want to sound crass, but I wouldn’t argue with the word “revealing”   :evil:  Yet despite her spectacular appearance, what really drew me to her profile was her smile, which is every bit as good in person as those photos hinted. (I’ve noticed that many FSUW don't smile in their profiles.  Maybe it’s a dental thing, but I was treated to all sorts of smiles from Lady B, with teeth and without.  Her teeth looked fine, actually better than many American's.)  Sure, she looked like a model in her pics, too, but when I put her on the list I figured it was a shot in the dark because there was no chance she’d want to meet me!  She’s one of the few ladies whose pics were pretty much spot on.

   I’ve forgotten more Russian words than I remember, and now maybe some Russglish, apparently.  From the start it’s clear that “emotional” means “energetic” (almost bubbly).  This girl is pure energy, and I doubt there’s any better situation for me at that moment.  It’s easy to feed off her energy and she certainly doesn’t seem to miss it!  As for bubbly, I have never met an AW I could describe with that word with whom I felt intellectually compatible.  But Lady B is not “bubbly”, she’s just an endless wellspring of energy.

   She’s open and talkative and full of questions.  In fact, I rarely finish an entire answer before she’s on to something else.  The terp is running at full speed and barely keeping up.  Some of her questions get pretty personal pretty quickly, but it’s all cool.  She’s easy to be around and it doesn’t seem odd at all.

   I manage to get in a few questions of my own.  I am fascinated by her entrepeneurial efforts (though I never got too far on my own; it’s possible it just doesn’t suit me).  But I’m sure it’s got to be something unique in Ukraine, and she has her own apartment so she must do okay, so I badger her for awhile about her job.  Well, hopefully it wasn’t seen as badgering, but I’m persistent.  It’s got something to do with banks and real estate, so I’m thinking I’ve got a good shot at understanding since I know something about that, but the terp finally runs into a wall.  She not only has no word for the job (even in Russian!), she can’t even describe exactly what goes on!

   I ask if she’d like to leave, wondering if I’m gonna have to snarf another meal, but she’s not indecisive: she wants to go the an amusement park for some rides (this park goes by at least three names, as far as I can tell.  No one could ever explain the differences to me.  I think it changed it’s name recently, but that would only account for two....)  And who can argue?  It seems like the perfect place to get close to her.

   It’s not exactly a short ride in the taxi, but of course we keep talking.  She’s sharing some personal details about her life, it’s an amazing amount of openness, and her smiles never fade.

    I’m doing a little better with doors and gentlemanly behavior, but I’ve hardly mastered it.

   At the park, I’m trying to take charge, or something close, but it’s pretty tough when I do not knowing anything at all about how the place works.  We need tickets to enter, so at least I can step up there.  In case I was worried about the cost (which I'm not), it’s 2 gryvna each, something like 43 cents apiece.  She heads straight for the Ferris wheel, which actually requires more tickets, so I’m out another $2.14 (for all three of us!)

   She asks if I have a camera and we get a great pic at the top of the Ferris Wheel. There aren’t many buildings nearby so there’s a pretty good view of a lot of the town.  But the very best view is right next to me! 

   Looking at the pic, which she likes a lot, I’m struck by the fact that it looks clear that we don’t actually fit together.  Sometimes it’s just not right.  Actually, it looks like I’ve been Photoshopped in.  As great a time as I’m having, I let this bother me for the next few minutes.  But she’s still happy and energetic and she wants me to send her the pic... [I really miss this pic, and the Tragedy of the Camera forced me to break the promise.  :big frown:]

   It starts raining a little and she doesn’t want to be caught out even in a drizzle, so we head to the refreshment tent for snacks.  She knows exactly what she wants (pizza-flavored potato chips and Burn, an energy drink, which is probably what this woman drinks to relax!) and I have to get *something* or else it just looks weird.  The terp helps me in the line since I can’t just point at things (they’re too far away behind the counter).  I just get water for myself, and the terp gets tea.  This is the most expensive part of the date at a little over $3.  I’m not counting the money, I’m only worried about having the correct denominations.  I’ve already seen a fair amount of issues over getting change, between purchases and taxi rides and watching other people.  I’m running out of ones and fives.  The ATM gave me a few 200 gryvna notes, which I’m thinking will be about as useful as Confederate money when that’s all I have left!

   There’s a line so this process takes some time, but I can see Lady B looking at me.  I think I notice the terp sneaking glances between us, she’s smiling a lot too.

   The rain picks up so we sit and continue to talk.  I think I ended up eating most of her chips, they’re good!  It is very easy to compliment this woman. The way she waves off the compliments, she’s almost reaching towards me a couple times. From the way her smiles widen with each compliment, I think it’s possible she might have been fishing for them.   

   For some reason, she wants to know about actresses I find attractive.  I don’t even know the names of most actors in things I watch repeatedly (I'm so focused on the story), and I just can’t fish out a name to keep the conversation going.  She’s not terribly impressed with the name I at last come up with and suggests Angelina Jolie.  Why I couldn’t remember her I don’t know.  She wants to know what actress she resembles, and the answer is obvious (she's currently in the #1 movie in America), except of course that Lady B looks much, much better. She doesn’t have any actors to name, but she is apparently a boxing fan, though I suspect she’s more of a Vladimir Klitschko fan.

   We keep checking the weather to see if the rain will clear up.  She’s eyeing the roller coaster, which seems designed to force riders to squeeze in pretty tight      Alas, she is not willing to go outside the tent with even a few drops of rain. 

   There is no doubt she is fun and active and I would love to date her.  But honestly I don’t think we’re a good match for a long term relationship.  I’m not a lump or anything, but our energy levels are very different.  This girl would only stop mountain climbing to run a triathalon!  And I can picture her making deals on her cell phone the whole time.  I don’t really want a life of trying to keep up with someone.

   So I finally sit back and say to myself, “OK, stop worrying about the future -  you’ve known her for an hour!  Just enjoy your time with this stunning lady!”

   And an interesting thing happens when I let go of my anxiety: things gets better.  Almost instantly.  She’s telling me details about her family and I’m not surprised to find out she’s studied Buddhism and cabala (as have I).  She seems accepting that I don’t believe, and from that point there are no gaps in the conversation.  She’s talking about the future (turns out she wants 3 kids) and she’s not deterred by the fact that I can’t dance.  She insists she can teach me.  Now, I wouldn’t want to tell a UW she’s not up to a challenge, particularly this lady, but the fact is there are some tasks that go beyond the merely challenging to the miraculous!  I’d love to try, though.

   I am starting to dread the end of this date.  I can feel time slipping away and the rain is slowing but it will not stop in time for us to explore more rides.  Inevitably, the call comes to the terp from the agency owner, and then the terp calls another taxi to take Lady B home.  As soon as she’s in her building, it’s back on the road.

   On the way back to the agency, I’m thinking, “If things keep going like this, I’m gonna have to roll dice because how will I ever choose?”

[myrddin]

Day 1, Lady C

   Lady C is sitting at the agency owner’s desk when I get back with the terp.  She stands up as we enter, and there’s the same shy, sweet smile I saw in her profile pics. Her profile was short but included some things I really liked. I remember worrying about her English, since it wasn’t rated at all, but there was German (and she speaks at least three other languages!), which I’m not even vaguely fluent in but it is my second best language.

   It was her profile I was looking at when I decided I would not actually eliminate by English ability. I had been reading a lot of different opinions about this on the board, and I preferred someone who already spoke decent English, but a couple things occurred to me.  First, I had decided to use an interpreter for first meetings even if the lady self-evaluated her English ability as very high, and I did not see many “5”s on that count.

   Second, speaking a language is a skill, not part of a person’s identity. I certainly am not saying everyone should think that way, it’s just what I was thinking at the time. Plus, I had decided to jettison old thoughts about my own “special ineptitude” with non-English languages and do my best to learn Russian. Everyone I met greatly appreciated every word I *did* learn (and I’ll admit now I think I actually did know more than 10, even if you don’t count numbers....  )  They know Russian is not easy to learn as a foreign language and were happy to help me work on my vocabulary.  So I think language issues can be overcome.  I certainly was not going to rush into anything so there would be time, and keep in mind this was all going through my head when I figured I’d have no meetings anyway, so to me the whole issue was largely academic anyway!

   Lady C is the one JD was curious about and Taz knew from before and he was full of compliments for this lady.  Later I would learn that all four of us had been interested in her at one point or another (though JD never actually pulled the trigger on meeting her).

   I hate to admit that at first, I was just the slightest bit disappointed that her outfit was not quite as flashy as Lady B’s.  I mentally slapped myself right away (I’d need a fair amount of that as I fought old ways of thinking) - there are different types of ladies everywhere and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Her manner was understated but very feminine.  She looked like a teacher.  And even better than her photos.    Her hair had a tinge of sunset and she just looked like a very sweet person before we said a word to each other.

   And the eyes again.  These aren’t piercing gazes or limpid pools, they’re bottomless oceans of tranquility.

   So I’m taken with her immediately and I let thoughts about how to choose between ladies drop for now.  We are going through some of the basic questions about each other and I think I just may be getting the hang of ... something.  She’s sweet enough to induce diabetes, which I don’t mean in a bad way (it could be it’s just on my mind because of those medical study reports at work) - it’s just that early on it’s easy to tell she’s one of the sweetest women I’ve ever met.  We don’t spend too much time in that little room before heading out for a walk.  Nowhere specific, she just likes to walk because it’s relaxing.

   The walk goes well and I’m thinking about how easy it is to be around this lady. Unfortunately, that drizzle is hanging around, and as the rain picks back up I decide we need to duck inside somewhere.  This happens right next to a Gerogian restaurant, which is actually another place Taz recommended, but I cannot remember even a tiny bit the dish he said was really good there.

   There’s something a bit odd about this place - even though not full, the workers seem like they want us to leave. Maybe that’s all it was.  If Taz recommends it, it can’t be bad.  I get fries because they sound good and something called a “salad” in a misguided attempt to be eat a little bit healthy.

   Turns out their “salad” is just a stack of random vegetables, which Lady C is apologizing to me for as if she bears any responsibility at all, and I don’t eat much of it.  She and the terp both just have drinks. But what matters is that this lady is everything suggested and more. A couple times I hear Taz’s voice in my memory, “Someday this lady is going to make someone an amazing wife.”

   When I mention my dog, it turns out she has actually heard of Weimaraners! She says such a dog would pull her along on a walk, and I’m about to try to downplay that but the fact is Weims are known for pulling and mine is ... still working on that.  Lady C says she has a parrot, but upon further examination I’ve come to suspect someone has confused “parrot” and “parakeet”.

   Not only is she actually a teacher, but she taught literature, one of my favorite subjects (though now she’s doing something that sounds more like administration, and similar to a lot of things at my work).  I ask her if she’ll give me some author’s names and she’s worried that they’ll be hard to find.  She’s worried that I won’t know the names at all (which is sort of the point), but says she can write them down for me when we find some paper.

   A bit later she asks me for names of American authors.  I have no shortage or memory difficulties this time, but she asks for 7, to which I can only respond “you really ARE a teacher!” and she laughs. (I’ve been asked to give 3 or 5 examples of various things, but never 7.)  As I mentally analyze my answers, I realize that a whole lot of American authors have names that sure sound like they’re from other countries.  She doesn't know some I name, but she does know Edgar Allan Poe, though it’s cute the way she always says “Edgar Poe”.  (I realize immediately that I’ve always heard all three names together, but why?  How many Ed Poes are there in the literary world?  Is there an “Edgar Rheinhold Poe” I’ve missed?  Sometimes things you’ve done for years just don’t make sense.)

   We try for pics, but the flash is stuck off and I can’t fix it quickly.  Did I mention my relationship with cameras?  I don’t want to spend too much time mucking with this rather than talking to her, but I get something and hope they can be fixed later.

   At one point, she asks me pretty much out of the blue about my religion.  There’s a moment I think that, “well, it was fun while it lasted”, because I am not going to lie about this and I have no religion, I believe everything in the universe is explainable scientifically.  [Note: This is not about specific religious views, this is about compatibility.]  It feels risky, but I have no doubt that I have to find out now if it’s a problem for her.

   The terp is looking as if she is thinking “ooookay” as she translates my answer and we both wait.  Lady C is very surprised.  But she doesn’t cross herself and flee in terror, which seems like a good sign.  She is quiet for a bit, but the conversation continues and she wants to know more.

   One thing about this trip is that there were a few very specific points where I took risks.  Through most of my life, taking a risk of any kind has meant ending up feeling as though I’ve just been brutalized by an angry spasmatic rhino on speed.  But, for this week in Ukraine, it feels like every time I take a risk I am almost immediately rewarded.

   So I fail to end the entire conversation cold, and it turns to the future and important personal subjects.  At first she claims she does not have a specific number of children in mind, she just wants good connections with any she might have. But when there is a point where the number comes out, there’s that magic 3 again   

   I can’t finish the “salad”, it’s not bad but it’s too much and it’s not what I wanted.  I’m feeling the workers eyeing us and I just want to get out of there.  So with the terp’s help I pay and we get out pretty quickly.

   So we are out for a walk again, but with the rain and the non-stop pace of the day, and my energy, I can’t think of anywhere to go.  She must be able to tell I am tired and we drift back to the agency, which is only a few blocks away. 

   Thankfully, I’m about 40 minutes early for my last date, and I desperately need the time to rest.  I think that the date itself went okay rather than great, due to various circumstances, but I think the lady is truly incredible.

   When we get back, Taz comes in soon after.  He’s talking to the several people there (other than the terp, Lady C, and the agency owner, I have no idea who anyone else is).

   At one point he whispers, “She’s totally into you. Body language, man.”  I can’t really see it.  I mean, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t want to see my face on the grill of an 18-wheeler, but I can’t stop thinking about that line: “If an RW is into you, you’ll know.” I just don’t know. But I trust Taz and I like her.  His people reading skills may be better than mine, or knowing her already helps him catch it, or maybe my natural obliviousness is being fed by epic levels of exhaustion. Maybe there’s a first date corollary for reserved women, or maybe the line is meant to cover several meetings and conversations, not just one date.  Maybe I should spend more time living in the present and not borrowing trouble 

   In any case, it occurs to me that, sadly, I might never see Lady C again.  I hesitate mentally for a moment but then remind her about those Ukrainian authors.  I really do want to read their work, even if the two of us do not have a future together.  Later I’d hear she was very impressed that I remembered that and still wanted the list.  Soon after it’s written down, I see her off.  Maybe she IS into me....

   I guess Taz came back to check up on me. He’s showing off his Russian talking to the agency people (I don't know what most of the talk is about. Sheesh, just because you spent years learning and practicing you get to show off!  ) and shows no signs of lagging energy.

   I finally have some time to slow down.  I’ve got about a half hour till my next meeting. Taz leaves, but says I should call him for “taxi” service later if I want - that’s part of the reason we got the car! 

   I go to sit down in that little room I talked to the ladies in at first, turn the lights down, and try to rest.  I’m trying to remember absolutely every little thing, I want to record everything I can but I know there’s not enough time and I’ve got one more meeting to prepare for - I owe it to her to be as rested as I can, even at this point.  It seems impossible I’d forget anything, but I know better: there’s just so much going on and time lags and hours of travel are weighing me down. 

   One thing I would change if I could would be to make notes even sooner, immediately after each meeting, if possible.  I had to wait until the end of the day because of the whirlwind of activity.  Perhaps if I ended the meetings myself with a little time to spare, but I would have hated to cut my time with any of the ladies short.  Plus, if the next lady was early for a meeting I would not have been able to do it anyway!  But you have to note everything you can, even things you don’t think you’d ever forget.

    I actually fall asleep for a bit, despite being so keyed up.  About 10 to 8 I am up again and when I emerge, R and the terp (and others) are looking at me funny, wondering if something’s wrong.  I’m okay, I tell them, I just need time to fully wake up before the meeting.

    R gets a call and it seems that the next lady I’m to meet is still at her apartment.  We call a taxi and head out to meet it.  It’s starting to get dark.  We're now off to see the magnificent Lady D, who Taz called M2 in a recent post....         

[myrddin]

Day 1, Lady D

   Ah, Lady D...What a way to end the day!
   
   I’m pretty sure we’re in a different part of town as the taxi weaves through that incomprehensible warren of streets. Finally we stop at one of those apartment buildings that all look the same and may or may not have any indication of an address.  I’m told to wait for the lady, but I get out of the car anyway and as I do, I see her approaching.

   It’s a good thing she was on the other side of the car because I need a moment to get my jaw back off the ground.  Her pics gave some idea, but somehow she manages to look even better in person.  Until a few hours ago, this lady would have been without a doubt the hottest woman I have ever met.  She’s dressed up for a night on the town, how she ever got those jeans on... well, let’s just say I am enjoying this day.  I’m beginning to realize that I am totally, utterly, impossibly spoiled.

   When she notices me, she beams – not just smiles, actually beams (I don’t think that’s happened since I came home from the hospital 35 years ago. If then!)  And she definitely has what I can now only call “Ukrainian eyes”.  They can light up a room by themselves.

   She presents her cheek for a kiss, I help her into the car, and she wants to go to the restaurant at Hotel S.  Never mind that I’ve eaten three times today already, I’d follow this lady to Gary, Indiana!  I am worried that I will not be able to do more than babble incoherently in her presence.  At least I manage to avoid hitting her with the doors or anything (jk, actually I think I might be gaining a modicum of skill in this area).

     Luckily I do find my voice and things go well.  She self-evaluated her English at a 3, but it’s gotta be a 4.  Sometimes she can help the terp.  When she speaks English, it is among the sexiest sounds I have ever heard.

    We’re seated in the bar, which looks like very nice.  Actually, it looks like the type of place that charges for water, but what the hell?  It’s not at all crowded or loud.

    She calls herself an economist, which in Russglish could mean any number of things; turns out she works in banking (and not at the counter).  When it comes up, she tells me Russian men flee at the mention of children. (I feel I should make it clear that I’m not interrogating the ladies about this at first meetings!  It always comes up naturally, and well into the conversation.)  She tells me she is not in a hurry to have children, but guess how many she wants.

     Overall things are going amazingly well. Part of me wants to get all the info about her I can down even at the table (I am so tired and have gone over many of the same questions four times), not to mention a photo album’s worth of pics.

     She’s every bit as charming and witty as I could ever hope, and there is most definitely an intellectual connection on top of the appearance. She’s even painted these very artistic patterns on her nails.  Even if she were plain or overweight or missing an arm, I’d want to know her better.  But she’s not - she looks so good I can imagine allowing the physical to overcome personality flaws.  There aren’t any flaws.  All I can think is that she might be a high maintenance type. 

     Which gets me thinking about red flags. When she orders that second cognac I’m thinking maybe that’s a yellow flag. Although it’s not like I was holding back, with appetizers and tiramisu (on her recommendation, good stuff!) and it was Saturday night.  It felt like we were celebrating a special evening - because we were!  In any case, if it is a problem I know it will quickly become obvious.  Maybe I’m armed with a little too much information.  Maybe I just need to relax a bit.

     It’s getting late, though, and she needs to go home.  At last I don’t have to rely on the terp, since I have Taz’s Greater Mari Area Taxi Service at my disposal (can’t beat the price, and the service goes above and beyond!).  Except that I can’t help with directions, but the terp is still there, of course.

     Taz is on his way and we are wrapping up.  ($56 for three people, including drinks, appetizers, dessert, and tip.  I just don’t have the right denominations to work out the numbers, so I end up using a credit card since this is one of the few places that takes them.)

     I am drinking in every moment I have left with Lady D tonight, wondering if I can ever absorb everything that happened today.  I have forgotten Taz is on his way when someone grabs my shoulders. That shocks my memory back into action, so at least I don’t have to hurt him!    I had my back to the entrance (oops) and she has never seen Taz or Swisskid so didn’t react when she saw them.

     I wonder for one second how things went for SK.  He looks pretty happy to me. He’s taking up the passenger seat so I am stuck with the two hot blondes in the backseat, sandwiched between the terp and Lady D.

     Taz finds every pothole and sharp turn in town on the way to her place.  There sure are a lot of them  . 

    With Lady D I finally understood.  Not making excuses for being a slow learner, but when I would look back at each meeting I could see a lot of the signs.  There’s no one behavior, and all the ladies are different of course, so it worked in different ways.  But it is totally true: when an RW (or UW ) really is into you, it’s more than just obvious.

   When this all too short ride ends (ten times longer would still have been too short!) we are dropping her off.  Taz reminds me to see her to the door, but it really IS just a reminder.  Her only words are, “good night”, but she leaves absolutely no doubt that she had a good time and she wants to see me again.  I’m already thinking I might not see Crimea this trip....

   Back in the car, Taz and SK are seriously impressed with this lady, but I can’t emphasize enough that she has everything else, too. 

   It is a VERY good day to be a man.

[myrddin]

“It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This”

   After dropping off the terp, we head back to Swisskid’s pad, which is perfect for entertaining.  It is definitely a pad, not just an apartment.  I went for the place in the center of town, which I don’t exactly regret, but I finally get a good look at this place and think, “Perhaps next time...”

   I find out a little about Taz’s and SK’s days ... which is not my story to tell.  Suffice to say it sounds like Taz may be on the way to getting those karmic rewards for his generosity and SK’s already had an amazing trip. I guess it is easy to tell when an FSUW makes a special impression on someone else, too.

   Talking and reflecting, I still can’t slow down.  I know I need sleep for tomorrow, but I am too excited now.

   I do not drink alcohol often, but if this isn’t a special occasion, I don’t know what is.  So SK is mixing some of the fine concoctions he worried about getting through customs.  We share some drinks and I fill them in just a bit because this is really the first time I’ve talked to them since the meetings.  And listening to Swisskid talk about his first meeting, I can hear something like awe.  The subject of my Lady D comes up a couple times, too 

   We’re all pushing the bounds of sane sleep hours, but the excitement is not draining away.  It is fair to say things are going more than a little bit positively for all three of us. There’s some talk about skipping Crimea, which I still very much want to see.  But if I don’t, I know one thing is certain: I will be returning to this country.

   With sanity and insanity well played out, it’s past time to call it a night.  Taz drops me off, no doubt I am still partially in a state of shock.  I am impressed beyond belief by the ladies.

   I have a problem I seriously never expected to encounter.  Ever.  At some point, I will have to let down some absolutely amazing women and I have no idea how to do that. 

   I’m ready to collapse immediately, but first the nightly rituals and the irresistible urge to write for a minute or two...hours.  I finally realize I’ve been putting off sleep because I have a very real fear that I’m going to wake up tomorrow back in my old life.  So far my wildest dreams have been greatly exceeded, and I don’t want it to end.  If it’s real, my life has already dramatically changed.

   But I don’t want to stay up till the sky lightens, so I pop the Ambien and let all the exhaustion catch up with me.

   Morpheus will not be denied, and I am out cold before my head hits the pillow.

   So ends my first full day in Ukraine.

[myrddin]

It Gets Better


I wake up and thankfully I am still in Ukraine!

I’m still tired but excited to see what Day 2 brings. Didn’t sleep enough, but I’m feeling pretty good.

Yesterday I was a bird being shoved out of the nest for the first time, and I had no idea if I’d hit the ground or not.  Today I’m feeling the excitement and I’m ready for many things.  Not “any thing”, but many things.

The bathroom is not quite as soaked as it was yesterday.  As I get my clothes ready for the day, I make sure to also clean my shoes.  I read that somewhere  and it’s something Taz mentioned a couple ... dozen ... times.  And it’s true: the ladies notice.

I finally explore the apartment and discover a blanket in one of the drawers.  That’s probably why I was sorta cold last night.  I have a kind of excuse from not having time and being brain dead from tiredness, but I am certainly glad no one will know about this!  Another drawer has some books in Russian, a few in English and even a couple in German.  I think they’re phone books or tourist info.  There are some comic books in Russian in there, too.

When I go to get my glasses something is wrong.  Apparently a lens fell out.  My vision isn’t that bad and I can function without them, but I don’t relish the idea of not having them for the next week or buying new ones.  And of course, you always want the clearest view of the weather report on this TV.    I wonder how much it would cost to replace them in Ukraine, but I don’t want to spend my vacation in an optometrist’s office.

A little searching turns up the lens on the bed.  I must have fallen asleep on the glasses.  Can’t find the tiny screw (since it’s specially designed to be unfindable in this or almost any other situation    ), but maybe I can get to a store and get it fixed at some point.

I’m already more worried about how to decide who I will spend more time with than not seeing Crimea on this trip.  Maybe a week will be enough to figure out who is really a better match, or at least narrow it down!  I can’t imagine how anything could top that first day, so I’m not even considering that it’s possible.

   Until I meet Lady E.

[myrddin]

Day 2, Lady E

I remember her profile well from the first view and of course reviewed it this morning. She has a bit of a goth thing going on in her primary picture and I can imagine tons of men passing based solely on that, not that she’s at all unattractive. The other pics are much better, but of course they’re at the bottom of the page. Anyway, her profile was one of those that got to me in a few sentences: she wrote a bit more than most ladies, and I really liked what I read.

This time I’m not nearly as late to the agency. Lady E is already there. 

To say the camera didn’t do her justice is a severe understatement.

As Lady E rises from that chair I am stunned.  That camera did not merely fail to capture this woman - it committed crimes against her!  When words return to my mind, they start with “raven-haired goddess”.  During the entire date, whenever I wasn’t talking, I was just staring at her.  She seemed to enjoy my attention, but I could only hope it didn’t come off as creepy.  I literally could not tear my gaze away from her.

We talk in that small room to talk.  As we talk, she starts at “incredible” and gets better.  Her tastes are the same as mine.  She’s an engineer, she’s studied music, she has a great sense of humor.  She is cheerful and positive, exactly as she wrote in her profile. When I find out her favorite American TV show is Futurama I don’t know how goofy my grin was.  (omens?....)

When she asks about music I think I hear something astounding, but of course I have to wait for the translator. But there it is. I doubt many people on this forum will appreciate this (my own musical tastes do vary widely), but for me it is beyond amazing.  She’s asking me what music I like and ended that sentence with Metallica and Iron (freakin’!) Maiden. I just stared with my mouth working, no doubt looking like a fish. She must have thought I was crazy or offended.  This simply does not happen: out of the blue, this gorgeous engineer with a great sense of humor and winning smile just named one of my favorite bands and one I’ve seen referred to multiple times as Guaranteed Woman Repellent(™). What planet am I on?  Even in Ukraine, this has got to be just a wee bit impossible.

The worst thing I discover about her, I mean the absolute worst is that she likes Star Wars eps 1, 2, and 3 more than 4, 5, and 6.

So, superficial similarities in taste aren’t the basis of a relationship, but these were just the extraneous, trivial similarities.  This woman walked straight out of my dreams.  And - I know this may come as a surprise to some readers, but a meticulous examination of previous posts might reveal that, once in awhile, I can be just a tad nervous. 

There is no shred of that with Lady E. Every moment is magical and it has never in my life been so comfortable and easy to be around someone.  I’m thinking that, if I found out this lady was on Mars, I would find a way.

And what’s more romantic than a trip to get your glasses fixed?  Answer: almost anything!  But Lady E insists that I should take care of it now.  The only problem I might have with her is that she could likely get just about anything she wants out of me with that smile.   She talks to the terp and we call another taxi.  It’s sunny today and of course guess who left his sunglasses on another continent? 

On the way out Taz pulls me aside for advice I can’t remember because I’m not listening - I’m too busy glowing about how amazing Lady E is.  He might have said something about meeting up later on.  If Taz sprouted wings and started glowing orange at this point, I would have been too distracted to comment.

We pull up to probably the fanciest optical store I’ve seen since my visit to Miami’s South Beach. This place has a bunch of logos on the front, all very expensive brands of exotic automobiles.  Not quite what I was thinking, but I briefly wonder if those types of shades might be cheaper over here, a lot of things are.  In a few minutes I’ll be glad I didn’t share that thought with anyone because it might make me look foolish!

Several smokin’ hotkovas, but alas with attitudes appropriate for the snottiest American boutique, are sitting around in there (and no customers).  My glasses go away and we’re looking at a wall full of pretty decent looking shades, with logos so “exclusive” logos that they should include siphons going straight to your back pocket.  But we look through the selection and I realize I’m getting a sense of Lady E’s tastes.  Which is good, since I just saw four digits on that price tag in gryvna, close to US$300!  I’m thinking I can find something somewhere else that may be half as good but one-fiftieth the price, I just want them to look good to Lady E. I’m worried I might be convinced to spend a couple hundred bucks just to avoid seeming “greedy” and because that’s the sort of thing several beautiful women can do to a guy (even the attitude-crew is friendly now, though why do I think I now know how a cow must feel when a butcher looks at it?)

Luckily Lady E’s favorites are not mine, and it is almost natural after 20 minutes to say something to the salespeople like, “I’ll be back later”.  Outside, Lady E asks if those were too expensive and I tell her it’s way more than I’d ever spend on sunglasses in the US.  This seems satisfactory. I’m thinking I must have annoyed her and the terp by staying there so long, even after I knew I was just looking for a way out.  Little did I know what shopping actually means to an FSUW....

But we’re both hungry now and she wants tea.  We head off to a little cafe nearby that is actually a non-smoking establishment. Lady E chooses a cozy little couch area in the back and I certainly am not inclined to argue. 

I make a fool of myself trying to drink real tea wrong, despite years of watching BBC programs specifically in case I was someday in this type of situation.  :  But it’s funny, not embarrassing, and Lady E is already watching out for me.  She asks me if I like chocolate and we get this little cake which would normally make an impression.  Right now, though, Lady E is making an impression that just keeps getting better and better.  I think the terp is a little scared she’ll be burned by the sparks.

Alas, Day 2 would be 10.5 hours of meeting sans one freakin’ minute of down time.  I was thinking about Lady E on every other date.  That night, I thought that if I had had time to reflect, I would have canceled the other meetings to spend more time with her.  But I didn’t.

Without a chance to reflect, and certainly not losing any time to thinking about how to end this date (should have spent more time figuring out how to prolong it), it’s 3 hours later and we have to take her home.

As the taxi slows down, I see several entry ways to what must be Lady E’s building.  Most are just walkways, but ahead is one with a bench complete with an old couple sitting staring at us.  I’m hoping we don’t stop right in front of them....  But of course the car rolls to a stop as if they’re the next passengers.  I help Lady E out and to her door (all the chivalrous door-opening and so on flowed impossibly smoothly with Lady E, of course). I can feel eyes on us in broad daylight as I’m thinking something much more than just a first date has happened. Okay, forget the eyes and just kiss her! 

I don’t remember actually closing the distance, but that was a first kiss like no other.

All too soon, she ducks through the door and I’m heading back to the taxi. If I have to prioritize future meetings, no one else can get higher than second.

[myrddin]

Day 2, Lady F

After Lady E, I’m waiting to see if anyone else can even come close. I have not forgotten my first day, but this can’t keep up forever.  
   

Can it?

I know that Lady F is waiting, and I really should meet someone who has actually agreed to meet me. I want to give things a chance.

Here’s the answer: It can’t.  There were no sparks in those first few minutes.

She wants to go for a walk immediately, so we do.  The terp would get a respite since Lady F speaks English almost as well as she does. As we head for a park, I realize that I never used a minimum height criterion.  This lady is quite short, and between bending my neck to hear, street noise, and mild hearing trouble, it is a difficult conversation to maintain in terms of the physical arrangement. I am thinking that she would be interesting to know as a friend, but I really don’t think there’s actual attraction either way.

Lady F does not like the first park we find, so we head farther out to her favorite one. At least when we get a chance to sit down at an outdoor café, I can hear better.  She gets some type of ice cream, even though it’s a bit cold outside, and it’s not what she expected. I’m thinking that if natives don’t know what dish is coming, what chance do I ever have?

Service is slow, too (I’ve been told not to expect much in that area by people who know, and are right), slow enough that I’m trying to think of an exit strategy and wondering what time it is.

Timing has very often worked against me.  At one point, my phone rings and I can see it’s Taz.  I generally try not to spend time on my cell phone when I’m with someone so I hesitate. Intuition tell me it’s something about some plan for the evening and he probably wants to get me somewhere with a date.  Which would be great, except that I know I don’t want to go there with this particular date and she speaks English so well she’d know what I was talking about.  And I have to make a no doubt shocking confession that I may not be the smoothest person about this, anyway, it’s hardly a common experience for me.  Also, I’m lamenting that I’m not with Lady E. So while I’m trying to figure out what to do, I miss the call. I have to assume that if it’s really important, he’ll call back.

In case I need confirmation of the lack of sparks, I ask Lady F about something in her profile and she says she doesn’t want to talk about it.  It’s not appropriate or something.  I don’t want to press, but if that’s the case why is it in the profile?

Okay, I’m tired as hell and I know this isn’t working. I’m actually a bit relieved to have a clear decision. 

And she asks me what I think of her, which is that directness I’m supposed to appreciate. But I have had no time to reflect and I don’t like being put on the spot, and for some reason I can’t just man up and say we’re not a good match.  So I tell her the truth, she is smart and unique, but I say nothing about future meetings.  She seems to understand.  Everything is appropriately awkward, so I’m back in my element.  )

We part on the street and I head back to the agency with terp.  I’ve been riding and walking all over town for two days and I still have not the slightest idea where anything is.
   
I only wonder briefly if no one had a fair chance after Lady E. I’m hoping there will be a chance to talk to the agency owner when we get back.

[myrddin]

Day 2, Lady G

When I step into the office, there’s the agency owner and a stunning brunette vixen I don’t recognize. But I quickly realize it has to be Lady G, arrived early, of course (because there is no rest for the wicked).
   
Now, Lady G I remember pretty well from her profile.  My thought about her picture was that she looked “American”.  I can’t put my finger on it, she looked absolutely fantastic in her pictures, but she just didn’t have that “Russian” look.

She has gone from a smoking hot blonde with medium-length wavy hair who does not look at all Russian (whatever that means!) to a smoking hot brunette with long straight hair and whatever that “Russian” look is, she has it in spades.  Interesting.  She still has those gentle but smoldering eyes.

We go to talk for awhile and it is all good.  The only thing that holds me back is that I’ve met several other amazing women, and I think maybe I have a better connection with some of them.  But this lady is among the finest I ever met.  The fact that she’s too into pop celebrities bothers me a little, but that’s about the only thing. 

There’s only one time I do not simply go with my gut answer. When Lady G asks if I like to go to night clubs I say something like ”once in awhile”. And the thought of going with her intrigues me. I did not lie, I’ve been to them a few times and sometimes even had fun, but frankly I could never go in one again and be fine with it.  It felt like deception, which is all that matters, as I was adapting my answer to her taste (or my perception of it), but I could not imagine a woman like this would not like clubs.  It’s not a big thing, but for a bit there I apparently forgot that if she doesn’t like me for who I really am, what’s the point?  Turns out she didn’t like them, so I should have just said no right away. 

I am falling down tired, but the more I look at her the more I like, and she is of course intelligent and interesting and charming. (I say “of course” because in the previous 29 hours I’ve been spoiled beyond belief and this is no longer a surprise.)  What is happening with Lady G beat any connection I ever had on a first date in the US.  Still, I have to think about ending the date before I collapse. She knows I’m tired and seems willing to accept this.  Maybe I can see her again later.

But I decide I can’t let it end it this way, not when I at least went for a walk with every other lady. This may not be entirely unrelated to the way she uncrossed those perfect legs at just that moment. 

I mention that I have yet to have a real Ukrainian meal so we go to her favorite place for shashlik.  It is pretty far.  And of course service is slow and I’ll be late getting back to the agency with no downtime.  But she is friendly and I’m giving her all my attention.  I’ve got some energy back.

I manage to not hit her with the door, but when we get inside I try to help her with her chair.  It’s possible I need courses in this sort of thing, because watching those 50’s movies didn’t help me.  Maybe the chairs in those films are on tracks or something, because this thing does not slide well and I don’t want to shove it forward while she’s in it, and she ends up sitting on the edge of the seat. She’s gracious enough not to say anything, nor even to adjust the chair herself. I could say I did it on purpose because I have a spectacular view.

Now I know there’s no doubt if an RW is into you, but I am a creature made largely of doubt so I can find it just about anywhere. Even so, when a beautiful lady is preparing my shashlik and smiling at me, I am pretty sure she doesn’t want to stab me in the eye.
   
When she excuses herself briefly, I ask the terp what she thinks.  It’s clear that Lady G likes me but the terp thinks maybe she’s not the best match for me (but also that I shouldn’t rely on her opinion. She liked Lady B most for me the first day, though that actually came out before meeting Lady D).  I need all the help I can get, since I’m thinking if I do meet some ladies again, I just won’t have time unless I use some pretty fierce selection criteria.
   
So dinner goes well, and we take Lady G home.  She can’t make me forget Lady E, but I am glad I met her.

[myrddin]

Day 2, Lady H

Another call and it’s not back to the agency, but directly to pick up the next lady.

I don’t consider canceling because I do what I say I will do.  This thought may not always have been serving my best interests.  It’s certainly not going to cure any sleep disorders!  It’s also too late, since she’s waiting.

We’re on our way to Lady H’s home to pick her up for a late dinner.  I’m very tired again, but since I am not beyond the point of exhaustion (just deep in it) I have just enough energy to over-think the matter. It is a very long drive. I’m wondering if I can wrap it up quickly because I need just one minute of downtime.

We roll up to Lady H’s, where a well-dressed woman is sitting on a bench in front of a modest looking house.  She has gained a few kilos since the pictures were taken, but she is very attractive and she’s dressed to kill.  There is something odd about her eyes though, they don’t look anything like the pics.

Her restaurant of choice is a big, relatively fancy restaurant close to the sea (later I would find out this was near SK’s first date).  She wants sushi (which puts me in mind of some pro dater stories).  I am not hungry anymore and I’m in the unusual position of not being able to force myself to eat, so I don’t even get a meal. This seems to disturb her and she insists I try something. This reaches the point where I’m thinking, “even if I’m allergic to this, it might be better than continuing to refuse it”. (I don’t know what kind of seafood I’m allergic to.) Thankfully I did not get sick later, perhaps because I only had one bite.  Here’s my review of sushi: I’m not missing anything.

When she’s not silent, the conversation is okay.  I’m out of energy to keep it going myself.

She mentions Vegas and seems fascinated that I’ve been there several times.  I love Las Vegas, but when she asks if I gamble I must be waaaay too tired.  I’m pre-defending myself with all my personal rules and strategies, going on and on like an addict.  And I know this, but I can’t stop.  I’m actually a pretty risk-averse person, unless the potential reward is too high to ignore, and I love mathematics and strategy.  I gamble maybe 2-3 times a year (unless you count each day in Vegas ).  The terp has this hilarious look of barely controlled horror. The subject just won’t drop, and it’s not all my fault.

I’d have called it a good time, but it’s just not spark city.

Dinner is over and even if I was ready to go somewhere, I’m approaching my zombie-like state again. It’s time to take her home.  There I’m surprised to hear her say she had a great time. She was quiet a lot and seemed aloof at times.  I didn’t pick up any shyness cues, but she barely looked at me through the whole dinner.

She says it’s our first meeting but she does not think our last.  Ouch, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to be mean, but my first thought is, “Actually, it probably is.”  I tell her I enjoyed meeting her and she is very interesting, but I am very, very tired.  Maybe she understands.

I feel like a heel for not manning up and because she liked me more than I liked her.  But I can’t mislead her. Maybe I’m not a complete b*stard.  And if I am, I don’t really care if I can just can some sleep!

[myrddin]

Clubbed By the Night

The terp left something at the office, so we have to go pick up R to get let in.  R jokingly tells me she said she threatened to kill the terp (it’s late and R’s already given up her weekend).  It’d be funnier, except that if someone told me at that point R was an agent during the Cold War, I’d have accepted it without question….

And back to my place. Which was another adventure, since I can’t actually remember the address and I’m trying to give directions through the terp.  I spend 15 minutes trying to get the terp to let me off at a nearby intersection I recognize, but absurdly (I must outweigh her by 100 pounds, despite my recent weight loss) I’m not allowed to get out.  Finally one call to Taz clears it all up (yes, it took me 15 minutes to think of that, which is just an indication of how tired I really was), the taxi goes maybe 30 feet, and I’m home.  Once in I collapse, but sleep is impossible.

I think a lot about Lady E, and not much less about the other ladies.  I’ve got to figure out if I’m really going to bail on Crimea because we leave tomorrow.  I’ve also got to get some sleep soon. If it takes me 15 minutes to think of calling Taz to get home, my thoughts are moving with all the speed of a cart full of lead pulled by an asthmatic donkey.

But I can’t stop thinking.

So I am technically not unconscious when Taz calls. He and SK are out with their ladies at a nightclub, enjoying the scenery. He’s trying to get me to go, and so am I (despite thoughts like, “Hey, a chance to play Fifth Wheel!”).  I really do want to check it out but I am tired beyond sleep, it may be even worse than yesterday.  I’ve considered knocking myself out with a blunt object. 

I’m half waiting for Taz to say, “I’m dragging your a$$ over here right now.” But I think he says something like, “it’s easy to find”, which makes me wonder if the plan is for him to come get me (and it sounds like no one in his right (or left) mind would leave that scene!). I’ve actually BEEN to my apartment a few times, and I was unable to find it from across the street...

Nonetheless, I do wish I had gone. In fact, there are only a small handful of other things I wish harder that I had done. The only thing that makes it acceptable is that I already know I am coming back, even if I don’t know when.

Later, I realized that, during the Lady F date when Taz called, I should have answered and spoke pig latin or something, and then tried to get Lady E there (or maybe Lady D, or Lady A...). Maybe I seized the day, but my grip wasn’t tight enough.  I’ve had time to think about it so I can see a thousand ways I could have made it happen, but at the time I was stuck.

I will say this: if you ever find yourself several thousand miles from home, and you have a chance to do something you haven’t done before (like go to a Ukrainian night club) – do it!  If only one person learns from my mistake…aw, crap. Sorry, I just can’t say it! I want that time back!  It’s getting worse as I read their T/Rs.  Clearly, I’m not over this yet. 

But the fact is that I passed out just after hanging up, and on a couch that might be used as a punishment in a very hot place.

So ends my second full day in Ukraine.

[tim 360]

Absolutely a great trip report myrddin and one of the best I've read.  Your reflective style is a fun read, Cheers, tim360

[myrddin]

Thanks, Tim! 

Sometimes the reflection can get to be too much.  I'm rarely at a loss for words, though!   

[myrddin]

   Sunset Over Crimea

When I wake up, I remember my dreams, which is unusual.  Several involved things that I am pretty sure are jumping the gun at this point.

I’ve got a decision to make, though.  Taz is calling every few minutes (it seems) to find out my plans.  As I spend endless mental effort on this task, I develop a serious taste for waffles.   

Taz does not know yet if SK’s staying due to his Lady Z’s schedule.  SK needs to know he’d really get time with her each evening before he’d skip Crimea.  If we both bail, Taz might not go to Crimea at all.  Which means if I go, I’m kinda forcing him to go.  I don’t want to do that, but I have never been there.

I’ve got the TV on in the hopes that eventually immersion will help me with language.  This is not working, and I’m actually getting a little tired of the same 20 videos they show again and again, many of which are not even in Russian.  (And the weather only comes on every so often ;-) )  And maybe I shouldn’t learn the language from Russian MTV, anyway. So I turn it off and remember that I have my iPod, which is on randomize.

Taz calls again, almost giddy, to tell me SK’s lady is going to Crimea with them.  He’s thrilled, having just worked a miracle, and I’m happy for the guys.  I just can’t fully share the enthusiasm. I am more than a little jealous that SK gets so much face time with one lady.  But I’m wondering… if I made it out to the night club… if I had managed to meet up with them during the day… if a thousand other things had happened… but they didn’t.  This is all pre-rational, knee-jerk reaction stuff and I know it at the time, but it’s still there. 

So I have to analyze my options in detail.  I have a snap judgment of my priorities as far as which ladies I am more interested in, but I will spend some time putting numbers to the question.  If I do stay, a week isn’t that much time.  I’ve never encountered a problem like this in my life, but the least I can do is use a familiar approach.

The numbers confirm my feelings, for the most part:  Lady E is definitely my first priority. The more I think about Lady E, the more astounded I am by the intensity of what I’m feeling already.  I’m concerned that I might try to rush things, but the important thing is that there is no doubt I would cancel Crimea for her.

I’d also bail for Lady D.

The surprise is that Lady A is third, despite all the first meeting questions, then Lady C and Lady G.  Keep in mind this is fifth on the list of the 5 most fantastic women I’ve ever met.  I would very much like to see them again, but I’m not ready to skip Crimea for them. I’ve decided that Lady B really does have too high an energy level for me, though honestly if she wanted to see me I couldn’t pass.  And of course Ladies F and H were nice but not right for me.

I don’t accept any type of mysticism, but as I am thinking, re-thinking, and over-thinking what I should do, several songs go by on the iPod.  Then suddenly lyrics from the middle of Cake’s “Commissioning A Symphony in C” snap me to attention:

“You are sitting there thinking your thoughts,
They are not about what is but what is not.”

And I realize how much of what I'm thinking is hypothetical. The fact is I don’t know if I will see any ladies at all.  I realize that, even if she is very interested, she might have schedule conflicts or other obligations.  Too many unknowns, so I pack my bags.

I’m about to call Taz when he calls me: my final answer is clear.  I am not skipping Crimea for the *chance* to see some of the ladies again, I will only stay if I know for sure.  And what I’ve heard about that is absolutely nothing.  So I am ready to go. 

He comes over and packs my stuff in the accessible spots in the car, just in case I’m coming back. I don’t expect that to happen.

I’ll learn someday.  Word comes from the agency owner.  The ladies she could contact who want to see me again: A, C, D, and E.  It doesn’t get much clearer than, “if you stay in town, you will have more dates”.  The only questions now involve specific arrangements. 

I find out that the agency owner thought Lady D might play me a bit.  To which I immediately thought, “let her play me, just a little!”.  But it is so hard to choose between these wonderful women that I need every selection criterion possible.  It’s easy to see Lady D playing me, and me going for it.  I think the other three ladies offer at least as much as Lady D.  Surprisingly, it’s not…too…difficult to forget about Lady D.  (If I had the time, I’d have seen her again.)

So I am staying in Mari.

Taz whisks me back to my place, warning me I’ll have to pay the extra days and all apologetic that he needs my deposit for the Crimea apartment.  I know this and I don’t care much (I always over-budget for vacations, and there are no better things to spend my money on than this pursuit.)  He tells me he took care of some of the fees with the agency so that I, “wouldn’t have to worry about it and could concentrate on the ladies”.  Actually, though, it had been weighing on my mind and I insist on settling up immediately.  I worry when that stuff when is up in the air and prefer to get it out of the way as soon as I can. 

I unpack fairly quickly and re-settle into the apartment.  Of course, I’ll need to find the agency myself and we do everything possible (or at least try  ) to ensure that I can.  Whatever direction sense I have normally (which may not be much!) is gone, but I really think I get it.

I am excited.  But my jealousy of SK isn’t clearing up. I have my choices to make, but here I am stuck in Mari trying to figure out which of several spectacular women would make the best…

HANG ON!  Even I have to stop myself at some point!  It’s not the first or last time I’ll need to remind myself where my mind was even a week ago, or try to make myself accept that “even the wrong thing is better than nothing”.  And even if I didn’t make a bunch of mistakes Sunday, and had already decided on one lady, and, and, and...who knows if I could have gone on to Crimea with her?

These thoughts restore some semblance of sanity.  I will miss the wingmen, but I will be seeing some unbelievable, amazing women again. 

Our trips will diverge from this point.  Much more importantly, though, I can feel my life and my self changing.  As for Crimea, perhaps it is time for me to concentrate less on history and more on the future….

[Swisskid]

To quote from an unidentified American beer commercial - "You Made The Right Call!" IMHO.

Crimea will still be there for your next trip and believe me, it is MUCH better exploring it with a gorgeous FSU woman on your arm!

[myrddin]

Stop trying to make me see logic!  You guys ditched me and you know it!   

Pretty much everything is better with a gorgeous FSUW on your arm