Positive Advice For Newbies

[Catman]

I totally enjoy RWD and all the advice given here to those that are beginning their search and those still searching. Without the help of the experienced here it could mean disaster for a newbie. I would be interested to hear positive reasons why some made the search. The reason is I had a friend interested in looking for a wife in FSU after I told him about the beautiful girls I met on my trips to Ukraine but when I asked him about his search later on he laughed and said forget it. He had been reading some discussions and said there are more negatives than positives. There are girls who don't exist, you are really writing to a guy, GTG's, scams and many wasted trips and money. Are we scaring newbies away? It can't all be so bad, just look at the happily married men on this forum and their beautiful wives. There seems to be a lot of negative talk about going to the FSU. I imagine on AD the girls there have had a bad experience with men from here and if combined with negative talk on our side there will be no more men searching the FSU and no more women searching here.
Yes I know very well the reasons like the huge bums here and lack of family values but how was it all so well worth the trip and all that you had to go through? How is your home life with the new FSU wife?
Without sounding like bashing the women in our country can you give a comparison how FSUW are better suited for us? It can't be just for the good borscht

[groovlstk]

Are we scaring newbies away? It can't all be so bad, just look at the happily married men on this forum and their beautiful wives. There seems to be a lot of negative talk about going to the FSU. I imagine on AD the girls there have had a bad experience with men from here and if combined with negative talk on our side there will be no more men searching the FSU and no more women searching here.

Catman, guys really need to be aware of the potential pitfalls in this endeavor, and if the risks seem too daunting it's probably best that they move on.

I'm very happily married but it took a lot of perseverance. Some guys are luckier than others, some are wiser, but in the end there's no easy way to do this and IMHO it shouldn't be sugar-coated.

[KenC]

Catman,
For positive hype, read the agency web sites!  For more positive hype look at the photos posted of wives and families.  There are plenty of positive things posted here.  Most of the trip reports are a good source too.  Chasing RW is most definitely a high risk/high reward venture. :hairraising:
KenC
(You can have my portion of all the borscht!  Can't stand the stuff.  Burned out of it as a child)

[I/O]

with negative talk on our side there will be no more men searching the FSU

Fear not, they'll continue to search. You only need to tell a child once that candy is sweet but how many times do you need to tell that candy can rot their teeth?

I/O

[Eduard]

Catman,
For positive hype, read the agency web sites!  For more positive hype look at the photos posted of wives and families.  There are plenty of positive things posted here.  Most of the trip reports are a good source too.  Chasing RW is most definitely a high risk/high reward venture. :hairraising:
KenC
(You can have my portion of all the borscht!  Can't stand the stuff.  Burned out of it as a child)

Ken,
I would agree with you about the "high reward" part. But I'm really not so clear on what is such high risk about finding a RW? When I first decided to find a RW for me, I never thought of it as being any riskier than finding an AW. The only inconvenience for non-Russian speakers is the language barrier which can be easily dealt with. So what are the RW specific risks exactly?

[I/O]

But I'm really not so clear on what is such high risk about finding a RW?

Ed, take a look at this on the bottom of the forum page...............

136781 Posts in 6830 Topics by 3565 Members.

Read just a few of those 136781 Posts and you might catch a clue. I really must pay your sense of humour a tribute. As that tennis player said so many times......"You CAN'T be serious"..!!

The only inconvenience for non-Russian speakers is the language barrier which can be easily dealt with.

Just so long as we have "Uncle Ed" along the way huh? How did that song go? "Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fire"? I'm sure yours were on fire because you couldn't possibly have been thinking with your big head to make a remark such as that. You've been in an English speaking country for what, 25 years or more and your accent is still very thick, how was your diction when you had been there 25 minutes? Probably way better than a guy visiting Russia for the first time and trying to make himself understood or strying to understand someone who is struggling with English. Easily dealt with..........if you can sell that line to the masses you could sell ice in Omsk in winter. Possible but doubtful.

So what are the RW specific risks exactly?

OK, for a moment, I'll try to take you seriously, I'm not sure why, maybe a sympathy thing..............Watch your own videos for a clue.

I/O

[Eduard]

I/O
when I was looking for my wife in Russia I didn't feel that it was any riskier than looking for a wife in America. You can just as easily fall for the wrong person in either country. So other than the language barrier, that can be dealt with in a number of ways, what are those terrible risks that you are talking about? Please do tell.

[KenC]

Ken,
I would agree with you about the "high reward" part. But I'm really not so clear on what is such high risk about finding a RW? When I first decided to find a RW for me, I never thought of it as being any riskier than finding an AW. The only inconvenience for non-Russian speakers is the language barrier which can be easily dealt with. So what are the RW specific risks exactly?

Ed,
You got to be kidding?  If you are serious, then this has to be the single dumbest post ever made on RWD! :selfharm:

The only inconvenience for non-Russian speakers is the language barrier which can be easily dealt with

  Inconvenient?  That is like saying it is inconvenient for a man not to have wings (or a parachute) after jumping from a plane.
Finding, courting, marrying and maintaining a good relationship with a woman from Russia is only about 100 times more difficult than a local woman.  For specific details read 136,781 posts I/O references.
KenC

[KenC]

I/O
when I was looking for my wife in Russia I didn't feel that it was any riskier than looking for a wife in America.

Hello?  McFly?  :selfharm:
Need I point out the obvious fact that you are Russian, Ed!?

Duh?
KenC

[Eduard]

Finding, courting, marrying and maintaining a good relationship with a woman from Russia is only about 100 times more difficult than a local woman. 

I'm humbled by you wisdom and I apologise for my dumb questions, but I'm only trying to learn here
Questions:
1) If finding a wife in Russia is a 100 times more difficult than locally, why did you not find one locally? Why go through all the trouble? Are you saying that you could have found a girl as young and beautiful as your wife and as loyal and family oriented here in the US, and the process would have been a 100 times easier?

2) The courting part would be more difficult, but that wasn't my question. How is it more risky? That was the question.

3) Marrying: yes more difficult, but how is it more risky? I would think that a man in his 40s of say average looks, marrying a beautiful 21 year old American girl, is probably exposed to as much or more risk?

4) And lastly, "maintaining a good relationship with a woman from Russia is only about 100 times more difficult than a local woman." This one is also very confusing to me...if this would really be the case why in the world would you do this to yourself???
I guess the risk factor is more clear hear...cardiac arrest from constant stress of living with, and struggling to maintain a good relationship with that beast from Russia...

Again, please accept my apology for dumb questions!

[Eduard]

Hello?  McFly?  :selfharm:
Need I point out the obvious fact that you are Russian, Ed!?

Duh?
KenC

Ken,
I do appreciate the fact that you care enough to remind me of my heritage! I do.
Obviously communication wasn't an issue for me. But it wasn't a huge problem for other people either. Simoni for example was telling me that he used a good interpretor in Ukraine and that solved that problem. gabaub learned Russian and took care of communication issue in that way. Catman is communicating now with a beautiful woman who happens to be a professional interpretor. How is his risk higher than with any woman in his country - Canada?
So the language is an issue, but an issue that can be dealt with.
I still don't understand why it is more RISKY? More than 50% of marriages in the US end up in divorce. That probably means that people made a mistake and married the wrong person...and they spoke the same language. So if a man finds himself a good local terp and communication is no longer an issue, why is it more risky with a Russian woman?

[msmoby_ru]

I totally enjoy RWD and all the advice given here to those that are beginning their search and those still searching. Without the help of the experienced here it could mean disaster for a newbie. I would be interested to hear positive reasons why some made the search. The reason is I had a friend interested in looking for a wife in FSU after I told him about the beautiful girls I met on my trips to Ukraine but when I asked him about his search later on he laughed and said forget it. He had been reading some discussions and said there are more negatives than positives. There are girls who don't exist, you are really writing to a guy, GTG's, scams and many wasted trips and money. Are we scaring newbies away? It can't all be so bad, just look at the happily married men on this forum and their beautiful wives. There seems to be a lot of negative talk about going to the FSU. I imagine on AD the girls there have had a bad experience with men from here and if combined with negative talk on our side there will be no more men searching the FSU and no more women searching here.
Yes I know very well the reasons like the huge bums here and lack of family values but how was it all so well worth the trip and all that you had to go through? How is your home life with the new FSU wife?
Without sounding like bashing the women in our country can you give a comparison how FSUW are better suited for us? It can't be just for the good borscht

Hi Catman,

Can I ask you to offer an answer to your own question? Like WHY you even are asking this question ? You are actively looking to meet FSU women... what do YOU think? !

[Doll]

Inconvenient?  That is like saying it is inconvenient for a man not to have wings (or a parachute) after jumping from a plane.

 

[Doll]

BTW I am with Ed asking same question: why is it risky?
It IS risky for a RW but not for any AM.

[Kuna]

2) The courting part would be more difficult, but that wasn't my question. How is it more risky? That was the question.

More risky...  let me try to explain:

1. For many men (especially AM I think), their experience traveling overseas is limited, therefore they will make innocent mistakes that could cost huge amounts of money AND/OR time that simply wouldn't happen in environments at home that they're more accustomed to;

2.  The MOB industry has a very sophisticated sub-culture which is fraudulent, something you simply don't deal with at home;

3. There are many guides ripping off men and scamming them in the most dreadful way - all for selfish gain.  Some do it for fees.  Some do it for a free trip pus fees.  Most are little more than confidence tricksters.  Again, something else a man is unlikely to face at home;

4. More risky because a typical AM has never managed the cultural differences he'll find in FSU people (not just women);

5. More risky because we typically spend less time with our partners before marriage than we would with a girl living in our own cities... thus higher risk;

6 More risky because distance and modern communication leaves MANY gaps in our understanding, and a man is more likely to fantasize about what MIGHT be, rather than experience WHAT IS.  Perhaps related to distance and time, but more about the imagination playing tricks on a man who may be desperate and lonely.

7. More risky because...  well, you get the idea.



Catman,  I agree that RWD frequently points out the dangers and the risks, but like others I think that's a necessary reality check for men who are otherwise only exposed to the agency and guide hype.

For instance,  if Eduard were to be believed, he can guarantee a 100% success rate for men using his services. Of course we know that's not true.  Guides CAN deliver valuable services for some men but when someone comes to RWD looking for genuine advice it won't always be coming from someone like Eduard.

The value RWD provides is a guts and all perspective from MANY men who have gone before...  If someone is scared by the discussion they're best staying at home.

Again, please accept my apology for dumb questions!

It's OK Eduard,  our expectations of you are quite low anyway!   


Kuna

[Kuna]

BTW I am with Ed asking same question: why is it risky?
It IS risky for a RW but not for any AM.

Doll,  I agree the risks for a FSUW are great.  I really take my hat off to any and every RW who takes the step to marry overseas.  Sadly some put too much trust in the men they marry.  Hopefully they will remain skeptical until the man proves otherwise through his actions,  not through what he says.  That is what counts.

Men do have risks though, and not insubstantial ones.

I think the more applicable life experience a man has the better prepared he will be.

A man who has had considerable OS trips to non-english speaking locations will be able to better adjust to the complexities of communication.  A man who has "expert dating skills" at home will also better understand how to attract women.  A man who is more of a realist rather than a fantasist will be better able to control his emotions.

Some men are at greater risk than others, but I still think it's true the risks are greater when dating outside of your home ground.

Kuna

[Doll]

Men do have risks though, and not insubstantial ones.

Ok, tell Ed and me what the risks are.
( There is almost no way for a RW to check on an AM if he is the one is to drop everything there , come here and marry. THIS IS THE RISK!)

[Doll]

7. More risky because...  well, you get the idea.

No, I didn't.

[Doll]

1. For many men (especially AM I think), their experience traveling overseas is limited, therefore they will make innocent mistakes that could cost huge amounts of money AND/OR time that simply wouldn't happen in environments at home that they're more accustomed to;

2.  The MOB industry has a very sophisticated sub-culture which is fraudulent, something you simply don't deal with at home;

3. There are many guides ripping off men and scamming them in the most dreadful way - all for selfish gain.  Some do it for fees.  Some do it for a free trip pus fees.  Most are little more than confidence tricksters.  Again, something else a man is unlikely to face at home;

4. More risky because a typical AM has never managed the cultural differences he'll find in FSU people (not just women);

5. More risky because we typically spend less time with our partners before marriage than we would with a girl living in our own cities... thus higher risk;

6 More risky because distance and modern communication leaves MANY gaps in our understanding, and a man is more likely to fantasize about what MIGHT be, rather than experience WHAT IS.  Perhaps related to distance and time, but more about the imagination playing tricks on a man who may be desperate and lonely.

7. More risky because...  well, you get the idea.

None above is a risk.

[Kuna]

I'm sorry Doll... I can't make it any more simple for you. If you can't understand where the risks are for men you're obviously slower than the average RW I've met.

Here's another risk for mento be aware of - based on your posts over the past several nights I'd suggest men should be very careful when assessing the character of the RW he meets because some seem to love an argument for arguments sake.

Maybe it's true some RW just have an argumentative nature???

Serebro...

JazzyClassy (sadly) at times...

The Antidate women...

Are you next?

[Doll]

 It is then the matter of terms.
I am as slow as Ed.  I know what he is talking of.
It is difficult (sometimes) but I can't see any RISK.
You are risking with...what?
(Leave airline prices alone- I spend same money every other year.
I am not being  dumb- no way  )

[GreginGa]

Kuna hits nail squarely on the head.

[Doll]

No, he does not! I can't see any risk.
Then let's define the term.
It IS risky for a woman but not for an AM. INS helps men to eliminate risk and it is close to a zero (if not a zero).

[Doll]

 
I still don't understand why it is more RISKY? More than 50% of marriages in the US end up in divorce. That probably means that people made a mistake and married the wrong person...and they spoke the same language. So if a man finds himself a good local terp and communication is no longer an issue, why is it more risky with a Russian woman?

I would estimate the risk of marrying AW as a double against marrying RW.

[catzenmouse]

The biggest risk for ANYONE involved in this is in not taking the time to get to know the other person before they make life altering decisions.

Ken

"Hello? McFly?" TFF KenC!