A letter to Ambach123

[Ooooops]

Oooops!   Forgot to add my replies to those PMs...   Here they are:

Even if English isn't my first language I can tell the difference between implying and imagining.    It's not my fault that you read something else between the lines that I didn't write.   I never said ALL men are of that category.   Why don't you go and brush off you English skills first before teaching others how to converse in it? 

Then stop sending PMs to me, it's that easy. 

[SANDRO43]

That is nice, but don't you think that one-on-one (or two, or three, or more  ) lessons are much more productive than reading manuals?  

They may be more productive in re-balancing the declining Russian demographics, rather than teaching the language, probably .

[steviej]

About the apartment vs. hotel:
(Warning: I've never done this WMVM thing so this is not an opinion based on experience!)

I would think, if you get an apartment you would need to have a couple numbers of people you can call for help, assitance, clarification, advice, directions, and/or whatever. Is it possible to have the agency manager and the "terp" be "on call" so that you know you can call them for assistance if and when you need it? Also, I would think you would want to have someone to call in case you get into trouble with the police. Anything could happen, you are crossing the street, get hit by a car ... next thing you know you wake up in a hospital? Or, cops pick you up, you just happen to look a little like a foreigner who ripped off a camera store? What are you going to do? I think there needs to be some people you could call. Also, you can register your trip with the US embassy. You can go to the US department of state website and somewhere in there you can register your trip so that if you disappear, the US government will be alerted and have some way of trying to find you. ....

[ScottinCrimea]

steviej, I'm not sure what any of that has to do with an apartment vs a hotel.

What I find interesting is that it seems the primary advantage people are giving here for an apartment over a hotel is that it is easier to get the woman to your room.  To cook him dinner? 

[msmoby_ru]

Oooops!   Forgot to add my replies to those PMs...   

Oksana - TRYING to change the subject - is the tattoo permanent or henna ?

[Gtex]

Ooooops;
Thanks for posting my PM's to you.  I stand by my comment, I do not feel I was being rude.  Now others may read and judge for themselves. 
It would be easy to characterize many of your comments to me in a pejorative fashion; I will not unless further provoked. 
I do believe much of what I was trying to offer and help you with was not clearly understood.  This is the subject of much of the advice about civil conduct  in communications (language difficulty with non native speakers). 
I have not, nor did I intend to denigrate your English ability.  That point was (should have been) clear in my response.  As I said, "you do well considering..."

[GreginGa]

steviej, I'm not sure what any of that has to do with an apartment vs a hotel.

What I find interesting is that it seems the primary advantage people are giving here for an apartment over a hotel is that it is easier to get the woman to your room.  To cook him dinner? 

Now Scott, you know dinner is a good thang. Young lady gets tired of eating out and heads down to baskarobskasa(spelling) market and picks out a few things and when you wake up, you have dinner. Happened more than once with me.

Ambach123, I was kinda joking about the hot tub and Malibu and 2 young ladies. Kinda joking. I know you're on a mission to find the right one,but keep in mind that this is your first trip. This is for getting your feet wet and hopefully exploring and finding a nice young lady in which to return to in a month or so. No longer than 2 months. If you find the right one, you'll be making plans to return before you ever leave Kiev.

[Gator]

Ambach,

O'Briens - I met women there, not dined there.  One exception - I dined there once and found the food insipid.  Another time, had a few pints while watching the final day of the British Open.  It is a convenient place to meet dates, and you can have a pint if they are late.  Another good place to meet dates is of course the agency office.  Is their office near the central part of the city?

Hotel - I still think an apartment is best for the reasons I listed earlier, particularly the part about immersing yourself in the local culture.  Also, it is convenient to fix your own breakfast and have some cheese and wine for snacks. Best of all, you avoid having to get a second room for out-of-town UW (if you have time for a couple to visit you in Kiev).

Ambach, your attitude about finding a wife is noble, yet you need to relax, be natural, be yourself and just have some fun.  First decide if you like the woman, can talk about anything,  and can have fun together.   

I think I frightened away a real winner one time when I gave my spiel about what I want in life, where I lived, etc.  She responded by saying, "I am not ready to become engaged tonight."  She had many options, even after eliminating me.

And another time...well that story needs to remain untold. 

[TwoBitBandit]

Ambach,

Here's my next piece of advice for you: when you meet these girls, watch them carefully.  Figure out which ones are truly interested in you.  Even if you're Brad Pitt, some fraction of girls won't be interested in you.  Don't take it personally, just figure it out.

Their words are important, and it's important to consider the conversation with the woman.

Even more important, though, is to watch her body language.  Does she make a lot of eye contact?  Does she tend to look away a lot during the conversation?  Does she play with her hair?  Does she lean toward you or away from you?  Does she turn her body toward you or at an angle with you?  Are her legs crossed?  Does she expose her palms to you?  Does she cross her arms?  Body language will tell you things that her words won't.

The more attractive girls listed with agencies in Kiev have met a lot of foreigners.  Kiev has more than its share of professional daters.  Part of being successful at this is figuring out who is truly into you and who is not, or you'll burn a lot of time for nothing.

[GreginGa]

TwoBitBandit makes some excellent points especially the part about these agency women dating a lot of foreign men. If the girl get more than about 1 phone call during a date, I'd be concerned.  Me personally, I'd  immediately eliminate any girl that shows up wearing those pointy elf shoes. No drinks,no coffee,no cake no nothing with the chick wearing those things. Now before you guys say "I married my girl and she has 29 pairs" I'm saying if it was me.

Also stay away from the girl with track marks on her arms where she's been shooting heroin. That ranks right up there with the pointy shoes in my opinion.

[Gtex]

Greg,
Thank you, I laughed outloud.
I shall use this device and claim it as my own (shamelessly).
The pointy shoes were a Venetian innovation of the middle ages.  They are designed to match your new (also just invented) cod piece.  And convey the same message...

[Ooooops]

They may be more productive in re-balancing the declining Russian demographics, rather than teaching the language, probably .

Ooooops!   

[Ooooops]

Oksana - TRYING to change the subject - is the tattoo permanent or henna ?

Henna.      I always wanted to get a real deal but couldn't decide on design, so alas... never got it and now it's probably to late already... 

[Ooooops]

Ooooops;
Thanks for posting my PM's to you. 

You are welcome.   And lets just leave it at this... 

[ScottinCrimea]

Hey, everyone is being too darned serious here.  ambach needs to be reminded to have fun.

[GreginGa]

Hey, everyone is being too darned serious here.  ambach needs to be reminded to have fun.

I've told Ambach123 on more than one occasion to try and have fun. We're not building a spaceship here although if he picks the wrong Ukrainian girl building a spaceship will be easier than living with one.

[ScottinCrimea]

But if he goes into this like a business interview, spending the whole time analyzing her every word and body gesture, it won't go well.  While these suggestions are good, it all boils down to what he feels intuitively.

[Ooooops]

Hey, everyone is being too darned serious here.  ambach needs to be reminded to have fun.

You are so right....   I think that nothing is worse than a boring serious guy...   

[steviej]

... when you meet these girls, watch them carefully ... Even more important, though, is to watch her body language. 

Hey, let's get a team of 4-5 volunteers from RWD to go with ambach. Then when he meets a lady, they can be incognito, behind the lady, giving him signals and interpretations. He'll say something, then casually look behind a bit, and read the signals from the team, and then he'll know what to say next. I think this could continue all the way back to the hotel ... and even on the honeymoon ... :hipdude:

[msmoby_ru]

Ambach,

O'Briens - I met women there, not dined there.  One exception - I dined there once and found the food insipid. 

Not my experience of many visits, but I hope you complained - The owner is a great chap - met him at a British Embassy garden party - I'm sure he would have sorted you out .. I have taken clients there for food and they loved it...viz


 

Hotel - I still think an apartment is best for the reasons I listed earlier, particularly the part about immersing yourself in the local culture.  Also, it is convenient to fix your own breakfast and have some cheese and wine for snacks. Best of all, you avoid having to get a second room for out-of-town UW (if you have time for a couple to visit you in Kiev).

Under most circumstances I'd agree, but this is ambach's first trip and his preferences and comments still make me think the apartment option is best for him this trip... if he wished to change his plans when there....I'm sure he can rent an apartment

 

I think I frightened away a real winner one time when I gave my spiel about what I want in life, where I lived, etc.  She responded by saying, "I am not ready to become engaged tonight."  She had many options, even after eliminating me.

And another time...well that story needs to remain untold. 

knowing how and when to say/ask  these things comes a lot easier if she is interested in you.. I reckon this lady did you a favour, anyway !

[Ridersfan]

  
       Ambach,

 I also wish you well in your search. I took a shot at you in another thread because I thought your post to Jerry was uncalled for.

  I have been to Kiev four times and will be making my fifth trip later this month. I would personally advise you to stay in an apartment. Most have security doors and the better ones have a security desk inside the door as well as a security guard/parking manager outside.

  Also I think you need to rethink the way you plan on meeting the ladies from outside of Kiev. Some of these ladies may have never been to Kiev before and will not know their way around the city. It would be proper to meet them at the bus/train station instead of asking them to find their way to your hotel/apartment.

  I am curious, that with your questions about security and exchanging money, how you managed in your previous trips to FSU? Where did you stay on those trips? Do you not think that the experience will be similar?

 

[ScottinCrimea]

Ridersfan,  I think you need to read the entire thread and some other posts by ambach before you offer advice.  He has never been to the FSU.  As far as your comments on the apartments, although my apartment does have a security door, the great majority don't, and I've never seen a security guard/parking manager outside of any rental apartments.  Maybe I've been slumming it all these years, but I don't think so.  I've never read anyone here mention this before either.  I'd be interested to hear the experiences of others with this.

[Ooooops]

My Dad's appt has a steel door and yet it was robbed twice in the last 10 years...    Thief just pry the frame open and walk in...   

[ScottinCrimea]

One of our properties has two doors.  Thieves were able to break through the first wooden door but the second heavy steel door stopped them.  In the apartment we live in, we have a security system at the entrance that requires a passkey to enter.  Visitors must call you on a domophone for you to buzz them in.  Even if they get past that, they have to get through the two doors enteing our apartment withour making enough noise to alert the neighbors.  Now if we can just get that security guard/valet we'll be set. 

[msmoby_ru]

Ridersfan,  I think you need to read the entire thread and some other posts by ambach before you offer advice.  He has never been to the FSU. 

Hmm.. He's an enigma this ambach ..check out his profile - he says he HAS been 1-3 times

As far as your comments on the apartments, although my apartment does have a security door, the great majority don't, and I've never seen a security guard/parking manager outside of any rental apartments.  Maybe I've been slumming it all these years, but I don't think so.  I've never read anyone here mention this before either.  I'd be interested to hear the experiences of others with this.

I have have seen some sort of concierge at some apartments in Kiev, but these were places used by Embassies and I didn't want to know the rental costs !! - may be these are the one's we see in the Kyiv Post at $6-10K / month..

Most apartments that are rented are in communal blocks- many of them are lived in by families - WHO would pay for a concierge in these types of apartment complex ?!  This is rare.