Wife split!

[Doll]

That is true, I still have to ascertain whether you love your husband (Sorry, couldn't resist the jibe in good fun). Point taken nonetheless

Mishutka  , it is a bad tone- to write things like that. You got your "D"
(Haha- you've never met a person yet you dare to write this crap  )

[Doll]

81 pages!

[Misha]

Mishutka  , it is a bad tone- to write things like that. You got your "D"
(Haha- you've never met a person yet you dare to write this crap  )

Sorry, I apologize 

[Doll]

Sorry, I apologize 

OK

[Sculpto]

We can't know if she actually loved Wayne or not.  I still believe she started out the right way and for whatever reason she changed.. at the point at which she changed her priority was to do the best for herself since she left her country behind.  I know this is not a popular view but from what Wayne has told us I do not see a long evolved plan to gain a GC from him.  I seem to remember Wayne mentioned she asked him to go live in Russia and he chose not to.

People can fall in love with the image they have created for a person and the life they will have with them.  If that image is ruined, degraded, changed... they are going to do all they can to save themselves. 

[Vaughn]

Sculpto, out of 1200+ posts, I've missed reading about 10% of them. Has Wayne posted
anywhere that he's retained a lawyer yet?

He really should put this fiasco behind him, and quickly.

[Doll]

I know this is not a popular view but from what Wayne has told us I do not see a long evolved plan to gain a GC from him. 

Neither do I.

[Jet]

I know this is not a popular view but from what Wayne has told us I do not see a long evolved plan to gain a GC from him.  I seem to remember Wayne mentioned she asked him to go live in Russia and he chose not to.

People can fall in love with the image they have created for a person and the life they will have with them.  If that image is ruined, degraded, changed... they are going to do all they can to save themselves. 

This is pretty much the point I was trying to make 38+ pages ago, and Doll before that. There are parts of this story we are not hearing, and may never hear which could potentially change a lot of people's opinions instantaneously. I AM NOT SAYING HE DID BUT - what if it came out along the way that Wayne had tried something w/ the daughter? Would everyone still be so damn quick to to demonize her? AGAIN I AM NOT ACCUSING WAYNE OF ANYTHING! I'm just trying to show how the omission of one small critical detail, can change the whole outcome of the story. You guys can't be SURE she's a GCG without all the pertinent facts, and we don't have all the pertinent facts.

[Doll]

You guys can't be SURE she's a GCG without all the pertinent facts,

I don't know how they are so sure. Maxx is to blame)).
Wayne said more than once "she was angry","she was angry again"
I asked many times why- no answer.
There is something Wayne did that made her go.

[OlgaH]

We can't know if she actually loved Wayne or not.  I still believe she started out the right way and for whatever reason she changed.. at the point at which she changed her priority was to do the best for herself since she left her country behind.  I know this is not a popular view but from what Wayne has told us I do not see a long evolved plan to gain a GC from him.  I seem to remember Wayne mentioned she asked him to go live in Russia and he chose not to.

People can fall in love with the image they have created for a person and the life they will have with them.  If that image is ruined, degraded, changed... they are going to do all they can to save themselves. 

Sculpto,

So when she changed? How you will explain that she preferred to stay with Wayne till her GC if she did not like something about him and was disappointed with him?  How you will justify her having a boyfriend while she was married Wayne, and the fact that she let him know about her boyfriend only after her GC? Oh yes, she has changed her attitude towards Wayne, but she has not change her attitude towards his money.

Do you think she would not ban him in Russia... after using his financial support? May be it would be better for Wayne to quit his job and spend a year in Russia with her, before marring her. But who would pay for it?

She has done everything to save herself "taking the suffering" till her GC, having the boyfriend, dictating her rules about the new car and spending money on the fancy expensive cigarettes    BTW who payed for her fancy cigarettes and gasoline to visit the boyfriend ? 

[Gator]

I AM NOT SAYING HE DID BUT - what if it came out along the way that Wayne had tried something w/ the daughter? Would everyone still be so damn quick to to demonize her? AGAIN I AM NOT ACCUSING WAYNE OF ANYTHING!

In Lolita the lead man's name is Humbert Humbert, not Wayne, he was a scholar not an artist, and Lolita was 12 not 16.  BTW, the author of Lolita was a Russian.

[OlgaH]

In Lolita the lead man's name is Humbert Humbert, not Wayne, he was a scholar not an artist, and Lolita was 12 not 16.  BTW, the author of Lolita was a Russian.

There was a documentary on US TV not long time ago about 12 and 13 y.o. American girls who have love affairs with adult men and create family at their 14s and give birth to children  You can find such Lolitas-nymphets who seduce adult men all over the World. 

The name of Russian author is Vladimir Nabokov  Great writer. I advice to read.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Lolita

Sorry for

[OlgaH]

Oh yes, now some of the members on this board will make the sick guesses about Wayne's morality. What they will write next? What if... that Wayne is a sexual maniac... gay?


Such guesses are warning message to guys who would like to share their stories with sad end and ask for help. Think guys, and think twice before to post your story here, your morality will be under questions in advance 

[William3rd]

says alot about the membership here, Olga. IF people dont buy the BS just scramble the facts. . . and make wild accusations.

[Jet]

William, scramble WHICH facts, exactly?

There are parts of this story we are not hearing, and may never hear...
You guys can't be SURE she's a GCG without all the pertinent facts, and we don't have all the pertinent facts.

and which wild accusations?

I AM NOT SAYING HE DID BUT // AGAIN I AM NOT ACCUSING WAYNE OF ANYTHING!

You seem to have convicted this woman early on, and have given us no reason to believe that you have any more facts than the rest of us have been provided in this thread. I conceded 40 pages ago that there is the possibility that a GC was all she was after to start with. You have not wavered in your assertion that she is absolutely positively guilty of immigration fraud and that it's a simple cut and dry case of her using Wayne to obtain a GC. So...which one of us is really making the wild accusations here?

[Doll]

Jet, to be fair- Willy is not alone in this.
Anyway- has Wayne  filed for the divorce?

[William3rd]

you and the other wannabes, ol hoss. . .

The record is all very very clear.

Sooo, uh, how about a plug or two for Roman Polanski while you're at it?

I really need a break from you folks. . . . . .

[Sculpto]

Sculpto,

So when she changed? How you will explain that she preferred to stay with Wayne till her GC if she did not like something about him and was disappointed with him?  How you will justify her having a boyfriend while she was married Wayne, and the fact that she let him know about her boyfriend only after her GC? Oh yes, she has changed her attitude towards Wayne, but she has not change her attitude towards his money.

Olga,
Since we have only one very incomplete part of the story we can only speculate about the answers to your questions.  But, for sake of discussion...

What if.. on that first night sleeping together she discovered Wayne snores really loudly and has.. well.. gas.  I know it sounds a bit funny but what if she was just simply uncomfortable sleeping next to him?  It could have been as simple as that.

Was her "boyfriend" a boyfriend or a boy friend?  Did he even really exist or did she just say there was a BF to get Wayne's attention?  Could it have been a coincidence in the timing that whatever the status of the BF relationship it came to light after the GC?

If she came here dependent on Wayne why should she have any other expectation about his money?  He agreed to support her, so, even if the relationshipis failing does that excuse him from support?

Do you think she would not ban him in Russia... after using his financial support? May be it would be better for Wayne to quit his job and spend a year in Russia with her, before marring her. But who would pay for it?

My girl said it would be ok if I came to Russia before she came here and then immediately said we would have a hard time to survive on English teachers wages and what she makes and then said it would be abad idea.  Should I be suspicious?

She has done everything to save herself "taking the suffering" till her GC, having the boyfriend, dictating her rules about the new car and spending money on the fancy expensive cigarettes    BTW who payed for her fancy cigarettes and gasoline to visit the boyfriend ? 

The car is the part that really bothers me and condemns the girl.  But, there can still be more to the story.  What if she believed the car was a gift to her?  Language issues could be at the center of this part of the misunderstanding. 

I would not deprive my girl of the brand of smokes she wants, even if they cost an extra buck.  I feel there is more to the BF story than we know, or even Wayne knows. 

As I have said I have a lot of sympathy for Wayne, but, I sure wish we had the opportunity to hear the other side of the story.  Usually the truth is someplace in between what both sides claim.

[OlgaH]

Olga,
Since we have only one very incomplete part of the story we can only speculate about the answers to your questions.  But, for sake of discussion...

Yes, and some of the members already have started to speculate with their guesses about the Wayne's story. IMO Wayne made big mistake when he decided to share his story and ask for advice here, it is not right place for such sharing. And he already has got a hit below the belt, when some of the members started to speculate about his morality. Sorry Sculpto, but discussion has been turned into speculations.

  Should I be suspicious?

If Wayne would be a little bit suspicious...

I would not deprive my girl of the brand of smokes she wants, even if they cost an extra buck.

You wouldn't because it doesn't matter for you.

Wayne honestly wrote that he would not date any woman who smokes, she hided from him the fact she smokes. She  started the relationship with lie.

I sure wish we had the opportunity to hear the other side of the story.  Usually the truth is someplace in between what both sides claim.

In such case the members and especially new members, neither women nor men, should never come here to tell their  problems and ask for help and advice, as Wayne unfortunately for him did, because what they will get here is "What if..." speculations and "What if..." hitting below the belt.

I have dropped some of your speculations.

[Misha]

What if.. on that first night sleeping together she discovered Wayne snores really loudly and has.. well.. gas.  I know it sounds a bit funny but what if she was just simply uncomfortable sleeping next to him?  It could have been as simple as that.

And? You know, real married couples, couples who married for love and have a relationship based on mutual respect, these are minor issues. The snoring can be dealt with a number of ways. If something bothers a wife in a loving couple, she could do something quite simple called T-A-L-K-I-N-G. I know, it is a hard concept to grasp. My wife told me she could not live with my snoring, and together we found solutions. We deal with minor issues on a daily basis, and you know what, it makes our marriage that much stronger. If a woman leaves because of little problems, it means that she never loved her husband IMHO.

As I have said I have a lot of sympathy for Wayne, but, I sure wish we had the opportunity to hear the other side of the story.  Usually the truth is someplace in between what both sides claim.

Sometimes, but not always.

[Sculpto]

Sorry Sculpto, but discussion has been turned into speculations.

Yes it has Olga and Wayne could clear that up very quickly.  We have asked him for more specifics numerous times.  I know he is having a hard time and I can understand why he might not want to write about it, but, he did start the thread and the thread would be more usefull to others, and probably to Wayne, if there was mroe transparency in the information he has provided.

Wayne honestly wrote that he would not date any woman who smokes, she hided from him the fact she smokes. She  started the relationship with lie.

I did forget about that point.  But, there still remains some unclear ground about honesty.  I am NOT going to speculate, but, I have a feeling if we could hear from the missing woman there might be some equally valid counter claims on her part.

[OlgaH]

If a woman leaves because of little problems, it means that she never loved her husband IMHO.

and she will use all these little problems as her excuses to leave her unloved husband when she decides she used him enough. 

[OlgaH]

Yes it has Olga

 I am NOT going to speculate, but, I have a feeling if we could hear from the missing woman there might be some equally valid counter claims on her part.

You already have wrote your speculations and you continue do it. If you are not going to speculate so don't start it.

We don't have "the missing woman", but we have Wayne, who are member here since 2005 and the Wayne's thread brightly shows that this place is not for him with his problems. 

[Misha]

and she will use all these little problems as her excuses to leave her unloved husband when she decides she used him enough. 

I agree.

[Sculpto]

And? You know, real married couples, couples who married for love and have a relationship based on mutual respect, these are minor issues. The snoring can be dealt with a number of ways. If something bothers a wife in a loving couple, she could do something quite simple called T-A-L-K-I-N-G. I know, it is a hard concept to grasp. My wife told me she could not live with my snoring, and together we found solutions. We deal with minor issues on a daily basis, and you know what, it makes our marriage that much stronger. If a woman leaves because of little problems, it means that she never loved her husband IMHO.

You are 100% right Misha.  Except for the exceptions.  Every person is different.  What if there was something she found really offensive but was too shy to discuss it?  What if in her mind she was trying to protect Wayne from something offensive that she didn't have the heart to break to him?  What if it kept gnawing at her soul and generated guilt feelings which she dealt with by becoming evil to the man that she thought she loved?

Point is, we have only one side of the story.  

Last year when I train wrecked in Kherson I allowed everything to happen.  I refused to follow good advice given on anti-date and I fell right into the trap set by the scam agency.  Now, I could have asked my questions and given the TR in a way that made me look like a prince and the scammers as the most evil people in the world.  It might have even made me feel better for a short time if I had done so.  At the end of the day, looking in a mirror and being honest, can I point a finger at the scam agency?  NOPE!  I let my imagination and hopes and dreams lead me down a path of stupidity.  Can i blame them for taking advantage of my stupidity?  NOPE.  I can say they are bad people.. I can say they should not create false hopes in people for the purpose of stealing their money.. but I can not blame them.  They are scammers.. they did what they do, same as a monkey swings from trees or a vulture eats dead meat.

It might seem a contradiction coming from me.. but.. people must be accountable to themselves.  Even if victims of subversion or deception "we" still wake up with our self and their is no one else to blame for our own decisions.  Anything else is just denial.  In the broader sense of society there are other questions that come into play, but, as individuals, especially men marrying foreign women, the burden is really on us men to make the accomodations to the women and to err on the side of transparency and caution.