Wife split!

[Doll]

Do not forget emptying bank accounts and getting a nice car on credit, while still married.  Right Doll?  Or are my terps not so good?

Absolutely 

Someone like Wayne

Someone like who knows what ))) is now divorcing my neighbor (a woman)- her husband after 31 years of their marriage emptied their account ($300,00), locked her out while she was at work and filed for divorce. They both are Americans.
So blame the attorneys - this is what they recommend to do.

[Doll]

Yes, 17. Old enough to work, in some states old enough to get married, old enough so she doesn't need mom to look after her all the time.... Hardly a "kid" by any standards, but a young woman capable of being 100% independent. The only issue was getting a permanent green card, and that has nothing to do with having a "kid" IMHO.

Yes, Misha, 17 is not 8- she doesn't need to be watched and she can work.
But I do give up on you because you just don't want to understand the difference between 17 y.o. American and 17 y.o. immigrant. 100% independent? Sure. Again- a place to live, a car to go to work (like my son will need- we live in the woods), support (O.'s girl has no friends or grandparents - nobody!).
You can't apply your standards to an immigrant. She will be independent later but we are talking of the situation when a RW comes here WITH THE KID. The risk doubles. So the chances a woman with the kid searches for a man to just get her 2-year GC are small.

[BC]

Why not try to stick to the facts?

IIRC (I did not go back and re read the thread, so may be wrong) Wayne was seeking annulment - now settling for her to sign divorce papers?.. what's that all about?

[Doll]

Why not try to stick to the facts?

IIRC (I did not go back and re read the thread, so may be wrong) Wayne was seeking annulment - now settling for her to sign divorce papers?.. what's that all about?

There is no grounds for annulment

[Misha]

But I do give up on you because you just don't want to understand the difference between 17 y.o. American and 17 y.o. immigrant. 100% independent?

There are great many 17 year old immigrants in Canada who are more than capable of looking after themselves. If they are willing to work at entry-level jobs (i.e. McDonald's) they have no problems finding a job and they usually very quickly make friends and if the immigrant is an attractive young woman, she will very quickly have a boyfriend all too willing to help her integrate into her new society  I do see that you are seeing this through your own prism: the Russian mother who believes that her children cannot do anything without her help  :evil:

[Diplomacy]

IMO this is where the good questions are key.

Would you be willing to start over on your own accord?

Is it more a question of having money, rather than resolve?

A false sense of entitlement?

If you are unwilling to do something yourself, does that mean nobody is of capable of surviving in America or Canada?

Is such thinking well thought of by Expatriots that came here with little, and worked numerous jobs to build a life in North America?

 

[Doll]

There are great many 17 year old immigrants in Canada who are more than capable of looking after themselves

Not for the first months

[Doll]

IMO this is where the good questions are key.

Would you be willing to start over on your own accord?

Is it more a question of having money, rather than resolve?

A false sense of entitlement?

If you are unwilling to do something yourself, does that mean nobody is of capable of surviving in America or Canada?

Is such thinking well thought of by Expatriots that came here with little, and worked numerous jobs to build a life in North America?

 

Who are you talking to?

[Diplomacy]

Just questions for conversation Doll.  You can feel free to answer or not just like the rest of the forum.

[Doll]

Just questions for conversation Doll.  You can feel free to answer or not just like the rest of the forum.

It will be 7 years in Feb. since our wedding, so the answers are from the woman in a stable marriage.
No, I don't want to start all over on my account, it is about both relationships and money. I did get through numerous jobs and I do work now.

[Doll]

Forgot to tell you I brought a 8 y o son with me  He is 15 now.

[Wayne]

Doll, you assume things that do not apply in this case.

O got pregnate when she was only 17 years old.  Got married and her Daughter was born 6 months later.  She moved 1000's of miles away from all her family to live with her husband.  The marriage did not last.  His parents were involved with raising their Grandaughter.  O did not get to finish her education and get a career.  O was more like a big sister than a mother.  The grandparents wanted their grandaughter to say in Russia with them.  The apartment where they lived belonged to the grandparents.

O liked to do things and go places with her friends--not daughter!  Certainly O loves her daughter, but I think O feels held back.  The fact that daughter is so very much overweight is because of emotional problems and comfort eating.  Many times, wife got angry with daughter and was yelling at her.  They were speaking in Russian, so I did not understand the words, but I had an idea what it was about.  When wife was angry, sometimes daughter would laugh at her.  Wife was not involved with daughers school.  I never once saw her trying to help w;ith school work.  I took time off from work and went to the school.  I enrolled daugher and exchange student.  I took the girls to baseball and football games.  I helped with homework.  Wife was living in her own world, not ours.

A few weeks before wife split, she told me she had a job lined up as a tourist guide for Russian tourists.  She would travel all over the country with them.  Wife is very independent and wants to travel around and do what she likes without having to answer to anyone.  The last few years in Russia, she traveled away as far as Paris, France to purchase cosmetics, jewelry and purfume to sell back in Russia. 

I do not see wife as being a wife to anyone.  She does not want to settle down.

[Misha]

Not for the first months

Well, O. and her daughter spent more than a few months with Wayne. Enough for O. to allegedly find a new boyfriend

[Doll]

What does this

Doll, you assume things that do not apply in this case.

have to  do with this

O got pregnate when she was only 17 years old.  Got married and her Daughter was born 6 months later.  She moved 1000's of miles away from all her family to live with her husband.  The marriage did not last.  His parents were involved with raising their Grandaughter.  O did not get to finish her education and get a career.  O was more like a big sister than a mother.  The grandparents wanted their grandaughter to say in Russia with them.  The apartment where they lived belonged to the grandparents.

O liked to do things and go places with her friends--not daughter!  Certainly O loves her daughter, but I think O feels held back.  The fact that daughter is so very much overweight is because of emotional problems and comfort eating.  Many times, wife got angry with daughter and was yelling at her.  They were speaking in Russian, so I did not understand the words, but I had an idea what it was about.  When wife was angry, sometimes daughter would laugh at her.  Wife was not involved with daughers school.  I never once saw her trying to help w;ith school work.  I took time off from work and went to the school.  I enrolled daugher and exchange student.  I took the girls to baseball and football games.  I helped with homework.  Wife was living in her own world, not ours.

A few weeks before wife split, she told me she had a job lined up as a tourist guide for Russian tourists.  She would travel all over the country with them.  Wife is very independent and wants to travel around and do what she likes without having to answer to anyone.  The last few years in Russia, she traveled away as far as Paris, France to purchase cosmetics, jewelry and purfume to sell back in Russia.

???

[Doll]

Well, O. and her daughter spent more than a few months with Wayne. Enough for O. to allegedly find a new boyfriend

[Wayne]

Well, we go to court tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

[groovlstk]

Well, we go to court tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

Good luck, Wayne. I hope you can soon close this chapter of your life and start another.

[Admin]

Well, we go to court tomorrow.  Wish me luck!

Best of luck to you Wayne. Hopefully, it won't resort to "luck" and the facts are on your side - AND the court sees it.

Please be sure to stop back in and let us know how things go.

- Dan

[Gator]

Hoping you prevail and wishing you a favorable decision. 

[Wayne]

Thanks!
Today, everything was supposed to be final, but nothing is settled!  Now, wife wants me to pay for their airplane tickets back to Russia and alimony of $1000 per month for one year.  She no longer wants the car.

In Michigan, alimony is very rare.  With a short term marriage, even more rare.  The most O ever earned as a Hair Dresser in Russia was $300 per month, and she did not have much work at all during the Winter months.  There is no way that I will pay alimony.  O was never a wife!

They flew to USA on round trip tickets on Delta.  I think the return tickets can still be used, paying a fee.  If not, some of the Eastern European airlines offer one-way tickets for less than round trip.  I flew on LOT Polish Airlines one-way between Warsaw and Chicago once before.  I think that Aeroflot and Aerosvit Ukrainian Airlines also offer good prices on one-way.  Does anyone else know?

Some days ago, a woman came to my house asking about the car.  I told her that wife took the car and I did not know where she went.  So I gave up the name and contact information for Wife's Attorney.  I stopped making the car payments.  Now, GMAC is trying to repossess the vehicle.  I had offered that wife could have the car, but she would have to take over the loan.  I will lose everything that I payed into the car already.  The insurance has gone up a lot because wife is the driver, she caused an accident when she was learning to drive in Russia and has speeding tickets. 

This is a lesson that others could learn from.  If your Fiancee wants to learn to drive before coming to USA, make sure she uses an official driver training class with insurance.  O tried to learn to drive using her friend's car and got into an accident.  Neither driver had insurance.  It was O's fault and she asked me for the money to pay for the repairs to both vehicles.  After that, she used a proper driver training instructor, but this method is much cheaper than taking chances. 

I made a big mistake buying an expensive car for wife.  I wanted to get a reasonable used car that gets good gas miliage, but she wanted an expensive luxury car.  She promised to work to pay for the car, but did not.  So if anyone is recently married and thinking about buying a car for your wife, think twice.

The car insurance went up to more than $200 per month because of wife's driving record.  Once the car is taken back, I can that if off my insurance. 

Wife has been out of my home for several months now and cannot return.  If she loses the car, her travel will be limited.  I do not know if she is working or if some boyfriend is supporting her.  It would be good if she does return to Russia.

[kievstar]

Hi Wayne,

One way ticket is usually same price as roundtrip.  You probably can use the ticket you already purchased and pay around $250 fee for each ticket for reissue but may have expired as your ex has been in the USA for almost a year now.

If she wants to go back to Russia, does that mean she can no longer enter USA?  If so, send her back.  Would be hard for her to prove you never paid her alimony once she got there.  But 12,000 usd and two airline tickets does not sound bad.  Could be worse.

[BC]

  But 12,000 usd and two airline tickets does not sound bad.  Could be worse.

Yeah, sounds pretty fair.

Doubt it will happen though..  "after all she only made 300 before....."

Now she wants to go back?.. strange, strange... a GCG that won't stay put...

Oh well, guess that's what happens in the Twilight Zone.. nee nerr nee nerr..

[kievstar]

She only made 300 before but her lawyer will show more.  Michigan is a very liberal state with many attorneys.  One of the reasons I left after 25 years from that dreaded place.

[OlgaH]

Thanks!
Today, everything was supposed to be final, but nothing is settled!  Now, wife wants me to pay for their airplane tickets back to Russia and alimony of $1000 per month for one year.  She no longer wants the car.

In Michigan, alimony is very rare.  With a short term marriage, even more rare.  The most O ever earned as a Hair Dresser in Russia was $300 per month, and she did not have much work at all during the Winter months.  There is no way that I will pay alimony.  O was never a wife!

Wayne, maybe you should ask your attorney if he can send a request to Russian officials about her tax and income in Russia.

[ScottinCrimea]

I thought alimony was based on the income of the couple during the marriage, not her income prior to the marriage, thought that can be taken into consideration in figuring her earning capacity after the divorce.