Cold Feet, Any Clues?

[ambach123]

For the next trip I plan to go to Turkey via Kiev, where her parents live and would meet them.

And yes my other two women know that my search is over, for now.

Mir, for a man they love, the RW are very caring and loving, they are very attentive to a man's desires.  A very small example I like Turkish tea, she would make sure that I have it at all times, without me even asking, and so goes for many other things. The point is that they note your likes and dislikes, and then try to make you happy without even asking. There are many other examples, but I can't go into details about them. It is quite obvious that this loving nature gives them pleasure.

They are also immensely respectful of the man.

They also want a lot of attention in return. Eye contact always. If a man does not give them a lot of attention, the relationship would not last one hour or even less.

At least that is my experience, and I have known three of them fairly well.

Also in my opinion they want your attention 100%; WMVM method would not work, at least with the ones I have known.

They treat you as if you are their universe, but ONLY if you treat them the same way. With AW it is completely different situation.

[Gator]

And yes my other two women know that my search is over, for now.

Ambach.

My prior post was congratulatory because you have a different tone, a more mature one, about this woman vs. the prior two.  Maybe this is natural after three trips down the same road.

Your words about "a RW will do this and that" are crap.  Every RW is different.  You do know her true nature.  All you know is how she behaved during a resort holiday (and that she declined to marry after coming here on a K-1).  So do not yet become self-assured about what she is and is not.

You have much work before you, and I hope you feel mutual love before deciding to proceed with engagement.  Based on your prophetic phrase, "for now,"  it appears that you also know this fact, recognizing that the Ambach train could derail for a thousand different reasons.

Good luck

[GoodOlBoy]

Your words about "a RW will do this and that" are crap.  Every RW is different. 

I agree completely with Gator.

RW on "paid holidays" can be VERY attentive. 


GOB

[Daveman]

Ambach.

My prior post was congratulatory because you have a different tone, a more mature one, about this woman vs. the prior two.  Maybe this is natural after three trips down the same road.

Your words about "a RW will do this and that" are crap.  Every RW is different.  You do know her true nature.  All you know is how she behaved during a resort holiday (and that she declined to marry after coming here on a K-1).  So do not yet become self-assured about what she is and is not.

You have much work before you, and I hope you feel mutual love before deciding to proceed with engagement.  Based on your prophetic phrase, "for now,"  it appears that you also know this fact, recognizing that the Ambach train could derail for a thousand different reasons.

Good luck

Yeah, no poop!

Ambach, right now you're sounding a little like an agency.  Rest assured that there are FSUW who are so self centered that they cannot see beyond the extent or their self serving auras.  Hopefully this one isn't like that, but it will take a lot more time to understand her true character, to know whether you can actually live with this woman day to day without strangling each other (well, women are women and that desire can arise in any relationship from time to time, but you know what I mean).

As anyone here who has had some success has said time and time again.. grow the relationship into full blown mad love (not just infatuation from a holiday resort).  Her willingness to sign a prenup is like item 1,765,498 on the list you need to worry about.  But the good news is, that the long list will eliminate itself with time and growth.  Take your time and anjoy this phase without trying to jump across into the next.

I hope she is the one for you. Good luck with it.
  

[ambach123]

My impression for RW was general from my experience, repeated three times with three different women. So it is not a fluke. There is a consistent pattern that I noticed. I stand by my impressions.

Again it is my impression and could be different for someone else.

It clearly depends upon if the RW likes you enough to do these things.

One thing I emphasize that in my opinion if you hunt randomly with  many "dates"; you will never find any RW with this attitude.

I tend to believe that you will not find such a woman in an agency either. A woman who is hunting randomly for a foreign man would be completely different.

I found all the three women on line, developed an online relationship with them, and went to visit ONLY one, and treated them very well, in many ways. You reap what you sow.

I have a lot of work ahead, that I know. She does not have two problems, she does not need English classes, she can give them,  and she already knows how to drive. She does not need to work. These things put her years ahead of others in assimilation in USA.

Also if you can communicate freely, it makes the relationship much easier.

[Gator]

Ambach, we always knew that you are a prince of a man and the model to follow.

[ambach123]

Gator, nobody needs to follow what I have done. Actually I advise against it. My method was time consuming and expensive, and the risks were great. Imagine, flying half way around the world to see one woman and then locked in for ten days whether you like each other or not.

But I stated my experiences, take them for whatever they are worth; yours are likely to be different.

[Mir]

Mir, for a man they love, the RW are very caring and loving, they are very attentive to a man's desires........


At least that is my experience, and I have known three of them fairly well.

OK so you have known 3 of such women. Can I ask how much time did you spend with each of them face to face?
I may be wrong but I think you have met each of them once in a holiday resort and spent 7-14 days with her.
So did they all fall in love with you as soon as you met?
Or did they fall in love after a few days?
Do you think a few days are enough to decide that they will allways be so attentive to you?
Were you also in love with them or was it just one sided?

[ambach123]

Mir, you are correct I met them each for about ten days in a resort or place other than their hometowns.

I went to see only one at a time, and booked the hotel for ten days. In two cases they paid for the airline tickets, I paid in one case. They were treated  very well. I picked up the tab for everything.

We communicated via email and on line chat, so we knew about each other beforehand.

They fell in love shortly after meeting, so they said, I don't have a litmus test. All I can tell is by their attitude which I already described. The feeling was mutual with the third young woman.

I would not underestimate the fact, that I offer them an opportunity to become my wife, and not have to work. They are well educated and really scared of coming to USA, and do menial jobs.  They are really afraid of doing menial work here.

This is not enough time, and therefore I plan more meetings.

It is my belief that first impressions are very lasting, if the relationship is good in the beginning, it usually remains so; if it is not good, it does not change.

Having said all that one should never forget that these are high maintenance women, as said in another thread, they want good clothes, cosmetics, and jewelry gifts much more than an AW would want, and in most cases contribute very little to the family income.

Again, that is my impression.

An average person should think many times over before embarking on marrying a RW. As a general rule, I would not suggest this pursuit to an average American man.

[chivo]

For the next trip I plan to go to Turkey via Kiev, where her parents live and would meet them.

And yes my other two women know that my search is over, for now.

Mir, for a man they love, the RW are very caring and loving, they are very attentive to a man's desires.  A very small example I like Turkish tea, she would make sure that I have it at all times, without me even asking, and so goes for many other things. The point is that they note your likes and dislikes, and then try to make you happy without even asking. There are many other examples, but I can't go into details about them. It is quite obvious that this loving nature gives them pleasure.

They are also immensely respectful of the man.

They also want a lot of attention in return. Eye contact always. If a man does not give them a lot of attention, the relationship would not last one hour or even less.

At least that is my experience, and I have known three of them fairly well.

Also in my opinion they want your attention 100%; WMVM method would not work, at least with the ones I have known.

They treat you as if you are their universe, but ONLY if you treat them the same way. With AW it is completely different situation.

I agree with this in general. I think what most are saying, as well as what I would say, it to take more time to see what the woman is all about in all situations. Something I'm sure you have given much thought to.

I can tell you from experience that just because the relationship is good at the beginning does not mean it will remain so.

Bottom line; there are many sides to a woman. Make sure you see them all, or at least most of the important ones to judge whether you can live, not only with the good/great ones, but the bad/annoying ones as well. This makes for a lifetime partner. Good luck.

chivo

[Sculpto]

I would not underestimate the fact, that I offer them an opportunity to become my wife, and not have to work. They are well educated and really scared of coming to USA, and do menial jobs.  They are really afraid of doing menial work here.

I wonder why you would let this cat out of the bag early in the relationship when you are so worried about being taken advantage of financially.  Seems to me you are offering a concubine relationship by making this point.  Wouldn't it be more prudent to keep your finances under the rug and offer real career support instead of what you have been doing?  Wouldn't you have your gold digger questions answered in advance?

Its like offering a poor kid a chocolate but telling him its not an unlimited supply.  Of course the kid is going to take the chocolate and expect that you will always give it, and then, when you capriciously decide the kid hasn't "earned" and you hold back, the kid is going to cry. 

Just something to think about.

[ambach123]

I spent ten days with each of them, 24 hours a day; we discussed a lot of things, including their ability or lack thereof to find a job in USA.

It was a common theme in all of them, they were scared of doing menial  jobs in USA. I offered them a possibility to avoid that, that of course perked up their interest very much in me.

The point is that my impression is that the RW are really afraid to come to USA, unless they can find someone who can take financial responsibility for them. In my opinion if someone can't offer that he is wasting his time and money in this pursuit.

By the way I find nothing wrong in this, they are highly educated, the desire not to work in a shop is completely normal.

[Shadow]

RW who leave their country come to a new one without their education being worth more than it helps them to take a position in life. They leave everything behind, there will be no 'comfort zone'. There for it is important for them to know that the man they are planning to marry will take care of them, even if things go bad and they have to try and pick up the pieces of their old life in the FSU.

That means they have no desire to work in poorly paid jobs, sitting alone far from friends and family without the possibility of a good future.
If that is what they are offered, tRW would rather stay where they are.

[Sculpto]

I understand what both you guys are saying.  To better clarify how much I understand it.. I just got off the phone with "A"..

All she talked about was her job interviews in Moscow.  She is meeting tomorrow with the editor of a major newspaper and got the interview because of some sort of connection from her Father.  Her exact words regarding the importance of this job were..

"How I will to find good job in San FranciscA if I not have good job in Russia?"

She also made it clear she doesn't want a menial job, nor to sit at home doing nothing. 

I can afford to support her, but, it is the emotional and mental support that is most important to her.  She wants to know that I am not going to ignore her need to work to be happy once she arrives here.  She needs the intellectual stimulation.  That is the support she is most asking for and wants to know I can provide.  The money is secondary.

I worry Ambach that you may be giving too much of an impression of a fairy tale life which is what is perking up the interest as you said.  I hope you are balancing the material wealth you say you have and the impression you might be creating for your GFs with the reality they are currently living in.  Turn the tables.. how would things look if you were in their shoes?  Are you sure you are not offering a candy that is too irresistable?

[facetrock]

 If I were you Ambach I would not tell them you have a business or are rich nor would I tell them you live in a mansion. Go take a picture of a nice newer three bedroom house in your area and tell them thats where you live. Tell them you work for XYZ company and make 90k per year. Do these things and see how much interest they have in you after that.
   It still seems to me your trying to buy love. No matter how hard you try, you cannot keep money out of the equation.
  I am not naive enough to know these women want to find a man that can give them a better life but the life I described above  would be better than most women have in the FSU.
  For some reason I think you go above and beyond that and try to impress these women with your possessions, it seeps out of all your posts.. I think money is your game with women, its your lure, its what you use to attract women.
  Personally I dont care if thats your way to find a woman, but since I believe that is what you do, here is my advice.
 Go to one of the big three citys, find a beautiful woman at one of the clubs you could stay physically attracted to for several years and just buy her. As long as they dont have to work and will be able to spend some money they will sign whatever prenup you and your lawyers can dream up.
This is you Ambach!!! Go for it!!!
 
 

[facetrock]

  I have been reading some of your posts and they amaze me. Most men here talk of finding a soulmate, someone they can connect with. You spend more time talking about finding a woman that will sign a prenup that will leave her with nothing more than the clothes on her back. I can see why you use money for a lure Ambach, you have no game at all.

[GoodOlBoy]

By the way I find nothing wrong in this, they are highly educated, the desire not to work in a shop is completely normal.

Then I hope you are prepared to leave all of your worldly possessions to this woman?

Because, if God forbid you drop dead tomorrow, how is she suppose to survive in the GoodOl' USA with no job and no American skills?

My wife knows she can. In 3 1/2 years she has worked her way up to Senior Accountant, in a very large firm here in Miami.

I told her in Omsk before she came here, she didn't have to work, BUT...She has explained to me several times that she wants to work.

For now she is actually happy working and interacting with other people.

Her English and Accounting skills just keep getting better and better!

GOB

[Mir]

to become my wife, and not have to work. They are well educated and really scared of coming to USA, and do menial jobs.  They are really afraid of doing menial work here.

I do not believe any woman who falls head over heals in love with a man within 3-4 days of meeting will be telling the truth, unless it is both sided. In other words if both keep telling each other they are madly in love then it is possible (most likely both are playing the game but rarely it can be true love)

I think there is no truth in the generalization that RW are high maintenance c/w AW.

I don't think any man who starts this process would tell his future FSU bride that when she comes to USA her job will be to cook for him, clean his house, have sex with him and also do menial work.
True most will not have or show them photos of their mansions etc but most would (if they are sincere) tell them that they will do their best to keep them comfortable.

I think the approach you are adopting is only going to attract one type of woman.
Now if it is only a game for you then although it is ethically and morally wrong but you lose nothing more then your money.
If however you feel that you will get a faithful, loving wife by this route then I am afraid you know very little about RW or any woman for that mater.

[facetrock]

  Let us count the reasons why a woman would fall in love with Ambach in 3 days.

1. He is rich
2. You wont have to work.
3. He has a mansion.
4. You meet him in an exotic all expenses paid location.
5. He knows you are high maintenence, since all RWs are according to him.
6. Your life will be nothing short of a fairytale.

When the gold loses its luster and the jewels cease to sparkle, all that is left is a man and womans love for each other. ( Not mine, I heard that somewhere.)

[Sculpto]

  Let us count the reasons why a woman would fall in love with Ambach in 3 days.

1. He is rich
2. You wont have to work.
3. He has a mansion.
4. You meet him in an exotic all expenses paid location.
5. He knows you are high maintenence, since all RWs are according to him.
6. Your life will be nothing short of a fairytale.

When the gold loses its luster and the jewels cease to sparkle, all that is left is a man and womans love for each other. ( Not mine, I heard that somewhere.)

Maybe he has something in common with John Holmes?   

[BorisS]

Maybe he has something in common with John Holmes?   

I don't know about that but his posts sure do break up the monotony. What are the odds that when the trips to Turkey end so will the "romance." 

[Gator]

Ambach,

A serious question, and I am not trying to be critical.

What exactly about this woman is different from the prior two, who you liked but later dumped?

[ambach123]

I would appreciate if posters would avoid personal attacks, it does not help anyone.

Actually they show the stupidity, ignorance and frustration of the writer. How so much obvious that some retort to personal attacks, since they are morally and financially bnkrupt and have nothing else to offer the society.

My search has ended, at least for now, about six months or so after it started; I have already found what I was looking for. We have several meetings planned during the coming months. After which I will stand in line like anyone else to get her a visa to come here. At this time we are always connected, even though we are far apart, via skype, phone, messanger etc. She wakes me up, and I kiss her good night. I did not look for a woman randomly and she did not look for a man randomly, we had a lot in common from the get go. We knew we will get along well even before we met.

Gator, to answer your question, she treated me very well, with a lot of respect and love, and I did the same to her. We enjoyed each other's company very much.  We had a lot of things in common. Yes it was a five star resort, but I live well at home as well, so for me it was not that much of a change.

Nonetheless, finding RW and marrying one is the easy part making a marriage last is the more difficult part. I have no illusions and I understand that this is a very difficult road.

The fact remains that RW pursuit is very expensive, in more ways than one. and just because someone does not get it, but chooses to attack personally, does not alter this fact.

Please allow me to give you a similar example.

Between 2003 and and 2008 millions of homes were bought and sold in USA at exhorbitant prices, and mortgaged to the hilt, by people who could not afford them. It is anticipated that about 50% of thes homes will eventually face foreclosure. These people not only destroyed themselves, but they have taken the global economy down with them. When they were buying homes they could not afford, nobody could tell them to stop. ( I also bought a home, but I paid cash, I knew something was going to happen, and I warned many of my frineds, and few if any listened).

What does that have in common with the pursuit of RW?

It is human nature, the same guys who were buying homes they could not afford, are pursuing RW, they can't afford, and there is no way for them to get it, until a catastrophe akin to foreclosures hits them in the face.

There is another thread about FSUW realities, someone would be well advised to read it specially what some of the RW have said, I could not describe any better, how they feel. As Zhenna has said, love is an important ingredient, those with stable relationships have a lot more to offer financially than just love. These are RW, I don't know how more eloquenty they could have said, but alas to deaf ears.

[facetrock]

  Ok Mr. Greenspan. Please tell us poor people how much we need to make in order to be eligible to pursue an RW. How much?
You post another amazing fact. The only men looking for RWs are men who bought then lost a house. Where do you come up with this crap?
  Oh, one more thing. Did you explain to your latest love that when the marriage ends she will only get her clothes and personal effects?

[ambach123]

No there are all kinds of people looking for RW, most of them can't affortd one.
Among them are people not very astute, some of them bought houses they could not afford, most certainly not all who pursue RW did. The basic concept is the same, some people long for things they can't afford, and are willing to take risks, which may even doom them.

An intelligent person evaluates his situation calmly with all the information available, whether it is buying a home or pursuing RW.

And yep, she has already received a copy of the prenup agreement; she agreed.