Statistical abberation

[Vaughn]

So, then, Maxx - given what you've just admitted - it's OK to level the field in your case?

I'm not buying it. Disregarding all the glaring differences in your and KenC's individual cases,
which were (and are) numerous, would you assert that KenC somehow made a poor choice
as well - what? 10 years ago?

It's apparent you're still, to this day, agonizing over Elvira. Bud, it's time to move on, and
perhaps time to drop the cloak of fireman to those in legal jeapordy?

[Gator]

Maxx,

Old buddy, you will not like what I have to say.

You have educated many men in analyzing and reporting your story about the dangers of marrying a rotten apple.   Your advice for defending oneself if caught in this situation is golden.  But enough already being the legal fireman as Vaughn wrote.

With regard to KenC’s marriage, I feel that something is twisting your thinking.  That something must be your history plus associating with several men who have had their lives turned upside in a similar manner? 

Lena was not a rotten apple.  There is no evidence to suggest anything other than the opposite.  For example, you find KenC "grouchy."  If so, you should be thinking that Lena is an angel for spending 9 loving years with grouchy KenC,  that she would be diagnosed as a clinically nice woman.

My interpretation is that Ken and Lena grew apart, exacerbated by his illness and her biological clock.  The choices were two:

-  stay in a futile marriage that could not regain the glorious happiness they once enjoyed, or

-  move on with life without each other.

Even though KenC loves this woman, he recognizes the futility.  Read his words and heed them.   “…have spent the last 8 months alone and have gone through all the self evalutaions already.  Now I am ready to move on with the rest of my life.” 

Maxx, you could learn from this.  What’s it been, 6 years?  And you still are caught up in the maelstrom.   Do what KenC did in 8 months and make a decision to move on.  If it means we will never hear from you again, I will miss you but I will be happy for you that you have moved on.

[vwrw]

A better choice?  WTF you talking about?  You should hope to find what we had for TEN YEARS!  

I divide romantic relationships into three groups:
-difficult and unhappy relationships- I term them third-rate relationships
- difficult but happy relationships - I term them second-rate relationships
- easy and happy relationships - I term them first-rate relationships

What a person should hope to find is a first-rate relationship, not what you had for ten years since it was only a second-rate relationship.

[KenC]

VWRW,
I guess you are entitled to your opinion based on how little you know.
What level would you call a relationship that went immediately into a hysterical disrespectful never ending legal battle with lies and two people going out of there way to hurt each other?
Level: Hell?
KenC

[Vaughn]

vwrw,

  In my 58 years I find it tough to count the number of solid and fulfilling marriages
I've known - that didn't face and overcome difficulties.

  It could be said that "easy" clouds the true strength of a wedded bond.

[KenC]

Just as a point of fact (and it is a FACT), I do not look at the ten years with Lena as a loss or even as any type of disappointment.  Was our marriage perfect?  Hell no, but I can not think of a better way to have spent the last ten years other than with Lena.  Situations and circumstances change over time.  Unfortunately, our situation and circumstances led to our going our seperate ways.

To me the true test of character is how someone behaves in crisis.  Even in a very emotional crisis in divorcing, Lena and I behaved with dignity and class.  I will not apologize for it.
KenC

[vwrw]

I guess you are entitled to your opinion based on how little you know.

Ken, of course, I do not know all the details of your marriage, but I went through the things  you have been experiencing lately. Five years ago, I was amiably separating with my ex-boyfriend , with whom I had a happy but difficult relationship for 5 years.  As you, I did not look at the relationship as a mistake or something of the sort. Despite the fact that the relationship came to dead-end, I never regret about the time I spend with him. As you, I believed it was the best possible relationship people could have.  This belief made moving on  a more difficult task. What helped me was  programming myself with auto-suggestion that although my past relationship was good one there is a better kind of relationship which are not only happy but also easy. 

 It is great that you have no any regrets about your past with Lena. However, it would be beneficial for you  to explain yourself that the relationship you had is not the best possible one. You can find even a better one!!  You have all necessary qualities needed for that!!!

[Maxx2]

would you assert that KenC somehow made a poor choice
as well - what? 10 years ago?

Yes. In his own words he was looking for a wife that was going to be his old age "insurance policy". That he was going to keep it up with "Viagra, splints and jackhammers" if need be. He made two mistakes. One he married a woman who told him what he wanted to hear about never wanting children. And two he married a woman very much concerned about her youth and beauty while his looks was on the fast track to deterioration. He smoked and didn't get enough exercise. She hit her midlife crisis which turning 29 is that year for women. The rest was very predictable.

My main beef with her was she did this to him while he was sick and in the hospital with financial problems. I know a lot of people in California are hurting big time. What is her situation? Does she have someone to take care of her?

My beef with Ken is this new idea that successful marriage to a RW is not about finding a 'for life partner' but rather getting several good years out of one.


Maxx

[KenC]

Yes. In his own words he was looking for a wife that was going to be his old age "insurance policy".

I have made humorous references to Lena being my 401K in jest, never in reality.

 

That he was going to keep it up with "Viagra, splints and jackhammers" if need be.

Never said this.

He made two mistakes. One he married a woman who told him what he wanted to hear about never wanting children.

You do not know what your talking about here (again) Lena had other reasons for not wanting to ever have children that are private and will not be discussed here.  But rest assured she was not placating me.

And two he married a woman very much concerned about her youth and beauty while his looks was on the fast track to deterioration. He smoked and didn't get enough exercise. She hit her midlife crisis which turning 29 is that year for women. The rest was very predictable.

hmmm what woman isn't concerned about getting older and her beauty fading?  My "fast track to deterioration" did not happen until I got ill and has since been reversed.  In fact, I have been accused by a member here of posting a photo from years ago as my avatar.

My main beef with her was she did this to him while he was sick and in the hospital with financial problems. I know a lot of people in California are hurting big time. What is her situation? Does she have someone to take care of her?

Wrong again.  If you read this thread correctly, you would know that Lena and I separated before my recent medical crisis but still was supporting through it.  The rest is none of your phucking business quite frankly.  But let it be said that Lena has been self supporting and lives independently.

My beef with Ken is this new idea that successful marriage to a RW is not about finding a 'for life partner' but rather getting several good years out of one.
Maxx

I thought it would be forever too, Maxx.  But people and circumstances change,  Sh!t happens in life.  That does not minimize the happiness and love that we shared for a decade.  I can now take your path chosen and allow this event to destroy me and wallow in my own misery forever.  I choose to pick myself up, dust myself off, and move on with the rest of my life.  I have few regrets about the past and I am excited about the future too.  Sorry to disappoint you, but expect a lot of positive posts in the future.
KenC

[ScottinCrimea]

Ken, give it up.  Some people will just never get it.  It's their loss.

[Big D]

 I don't think Maxx is "kicking Ken when he's down" I think Maxx is giving Ken what he expected when he started the thread. KenC has insulted a lot of people over the years, pushed his way on others and displayed a lack of understanding or care for other peoples problems, chalking it up to "they must be idiots"

  He always touted his relationship as succesful and used that as a way to make himself seem superior in all things Russian women related. He dismissed many peoples advice because how could anybody know more than KenC? He managed to bed and marry a beautiful Russian woman half his age right? He can do no wrong.

 Let's be honest, we all know KenC...at other forums too. Why is he so famous? Because he is that guy that everyone saw the photo of he and his beautiful young wife and most, if not all of us thought to ourselves "that will never last" and it didn't. It was an odd couple, let's stop the political correctness and tell the truth. She got her degree, Ken had health and financial issues and bye bye beautiful wife. I don't know Ken or Lena, I'm sure they were happy during many of those years, but you can't tell me this wasn't something always in the back of her mind. The time was right.

 I have no ill will toward Ken, and I hope his future is bright, I'm just a little surprised at how easy you guys have been on him after all that he has said over the years. This is a true case of karma biting him in the ass. This is the kind of post Ken expected because Ken knows in a way that he deserves it. I do hope as Maxx says he is trying to reinvent himself...maybe we will see a kinder, humbler KenC...anything is possible.

[TwoBitBandit]

I don't think Maxx is "kicking Ken when he's down" I think Maxx is giving Ken what he expected when he started the thread. KenC has insulted a lot of people over the years, pushed his way on others and displayed a lack of understanding or care for other peoples problems, chalking it up to "they must be idiots"

  He always touted his relationship as succesful and used that as a way to make himself seem superior in all things Russian women related. He dismissed many peoples advice because how could anybody know more than KenC? He managed to bed and marry a beautiful Russian woman half his age right? He can do no wrong.

 Let's be honest, we all know KenC...at other forums too. Why is he so famous? Because he is that guy that everyone saw the photo of he and his beautiful young wife and most, if not all of us thought to ourselves "that will never last" and it didn't. It was an odd couple, let's stop the political correctness and tell the truth. She got her degree, Ken had health and financial issues and bye bye beautiful wife. I don't know Ken or Lena, I'm sure they were happy during many of those years, but you can't tell me this wasn't something always in the back of her mind. The time was right.

 I have no ill will toward Ken, and I hope his future is bright, I'm just a little surprised at how easy you guys have been on him after all that he has said over the years. This is a true case of karma biting him in the ass. This is the kind of post Ken expected because Ken knows in a way that he deserves it. I do hope as Maxx says he is trying to reinvent himself...maybe we will see a kinder, humbler KenC...anything is possible.

Wow, a fascinating first post for someone that has been lurking for a number of years.

Dan, I'll pay money for the IP address of this poster... and why do I suspect it may have some correlation to the IP addresses of other posters?   

[Ade]

Wow, a fascinating first post for someone that has been lurking for a number of years.

Dan, I'll pay money for the IP address of this poster... and why do I suspect it may have some correlation to the IP addresses of other posters?   

Of course, in all likelihood it does. Probably some guy here that doesn't want to face the flaming from the KenC mutual appreciation society and fan club. Whatever, that in itself doesn't invalidate the contents of the post.

[Big D]

Wow, a fascinating first post for someone that has been lurking for a number of years.

Dan, I'll pay money for the IP address of this poster... and why do I suspect it may have some correlation to the IP addresses of other posters?   

 TwoBit,

 You know me quite well actually. 

 I didn't post to gloat at Ken's misfortune, just struck me as odd that people would jump on Maxx for his comments, and I'm surprised nobody had the nerve to speak up sooner.

 I never said anything about "lurking for a number of years" I was here a long time ago, and have only been "lurking" in the last week because I found this story interesting.

 Dan will track the IP, don't worry, but you might be disappointed to learn this was my first and last post for quite some time. I don't know about any other recent activity here, just heard about this thread.

 I did just see the thread about ScottinCrimea, which is very sad, he always seemed like a good guy to me. Sorry that happened to him.

 Thanks Seriouslyjaded, but I suspect I will be crucified shortly and be shown the exit. 

[KenC]

TwoBit,

 You know me quite well actually. 

 I didn't post to gloat at Ken's misfortune, just struck me as odd that people would jump on Maxx for his comments, and I'm surprised nobody had the nerve to speak up sooner.

 I never said anything about "lurking for a number of years" I was here a long time ago, and have only been "lurking" in the last week because I found this story interesting.

 Dan will track the IP, don't worry, but you might be disappointed to learn this was my first and last post for quite some time. I don't know about any other recent activity here, just heard about this thread.

 I did just see the thread about ScottinCrimea, which is very sad, he always seemed like a good guy to me. Sorry that happened to him.

 Thanks Seriouslyjaded, but I suspect I will be crucified shortly and be shown the exit. 

Big D,
I first thought the "D" stood for "Dallas" but now I know different.

You won't be crucified by me.  Your assessment that I married a woman half my age, found happiness for a number of years and she hit the bricks when things got tough is fair enough.  I will never believe that it was any long term plan of Lena's however.  You also fail to point out or choose to overlook the fact that I ALWAYS reccomended NOT to push the age difference and maintained that our "success" was an aberration.  No one better than I knew that our happy marriage defied logic.  Of course I then got criticized for telling people "don't do as I do."  But still, I can accept your point of view because it is an assessment based on facts.

Maxx' attacks have been based on facts not in evidence, incorrect innuendos, and his own bitter past motivated by his desire to get even.  That's a big difference, Big D.  Adding to that is his accusation that I am lying and that somehow his assessment of my situation is more accurate than my account.  With your vast knowledge of my MO, you have to know I would not let his comments pass without addressing them.
KenC

[enjoylife2day]

Interesting ending, some might comment was it worth it, or I told you so.  But it has been my experience that these type of people have never tried anything in life.  They have not lived.  Armchair Generals I say!!  You tried it, it did not last forever, so what.  You have great memories and hey you enjoyed what you had while it lasted.  That is what life is all about. 

I have walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, past the twin pillars of fire at the Gates of Hell and descended into its depths.  There I have fought with the Furies and seen my comrades fall at my side.  Words cannot express how it feels to hold a comrades head in my arms and hear as he has called for his mother, or how it hurts to pray with him that God would take away the pain, and listen as he has begged me to take him home.  Nor can they tell what it is like to see the last breath of life leave the body, and watch the eyes go cold and gray.

In rage I have avenged my fallen comrades and the enemy has known my wrath. When my time was done I have returned home a changed man.  I have learned two things. Life is very short, and that Freedom is not free, it is very expensive and paid for with the blood of my fallen comrades.  Today I enjoy the soft rain on a lazy summer afternoon and thank my God I have been allowed the privilege of Life.

LIFE WAS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED, it is not all white sand beaches and red roses. 

Or maybe I am crazy, you never know.

Gunny

[Admin]

Wow, a fascinating first post for someone that has been lurking for a number of years.

Dan, I'll pay money for the IP address of this poster... and why do I suspect it may have some correlation to the IP addresses of other posters?   

Not quite.

It seems there are some slimy insects coming out of the woodwork.

The poster 'Big D' is a thrice-banned former member, previously posting as 'jinx' and 'jinx13' and 'DPL' - at least.

- Dan

[Admin]

Interesting ending, some might comment was it worth it, or I told you so.  But it has been my experience that these type of people have never tried anything in life.  They have not lived.  Armchair Generals I say!!  You tried it, it did not last forever, so what.  You have great memories and hey you enjoyed what you had while it lasted.  That is what life is all about. 

I have walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, past the twin pillars of fire at the Gates of Hell and descended into its depths.  There I have fought with the Furies and seen my comrades fall at my side.  Words cannot express how it feels to hold a comrades head in my arms and hear as he has called for his mother, or how it hurts to pray with him that God would take away the pain, and listen as he has begged me to take him home.  Nor can they tell what it is like to see the last breath of life leave the body, and watch the eyes go cold and gray.

In rage I have avenged my fallen comrades and the enemy has known my wrath. When my time was done I have returned home a changed man.  I have learned two things. Life is very short, and that Freedom is not free, it is very expensive and paid for with the blood of my fallen comrades.  Today I enjoy the soft rain on a lazy summer afternoon and thank my God I have been allowed the privilege of Life.

LIFE WAS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED, it is not all white sand beaches and red roses. 

Or maybe I am crazy, you never know.

Gunny

Gunny (Sgt., I presume?),

I read your post in the Intros forum and your contribution to the RWD Quotes. I think many of our members would find your background and experiences interesting - and while I do not wish to disrupt this topic further, I encourage you to add some follow-up to your Intro topic and let us know a bit more about you.

Welcome aboard!

- Dan

[Jazzyclassy]

I don't think Maxx is "kicking Ken when he's down" I think Maxx is giving Ken what he expected when he started the thread. KenC has insulted a lot of people over the years, pushed his way on others and displayed a lack of understanding or care for other peoples problems, chalking it up to "they must be idiots"

  He always touted his relationship as succesful and used that as a way to make himself seem superior in all things Russian women related. He dismissed many peoples advice because how could anybody know more than KenC? He managed to bed and marry a beautiful Russian woman half his age right? He can do no wrong.

 Let's be honest, we all know KenC...at other forums too. Why is he so famous? Because he is that guy that everyone saw the photo of he and his beautiful young wife and most, if not all of us thought to ourselves "that will never last" and it didn't. It was an odd couple, let's stop the political correctness and tell the truth. She got her degree, Ken had health and financial issues and bye bye beautiful wife. I don't know Ken or Lena, I'm sure they were happy during many of those years, but you can't tell me this wasn't something always in the back of her mind. The time was right.

 I have no ill will toward Ken, and I hope his future is bright, I'm just a little surprised at how easy you guys have been on him after all that he has said over the years. This is a true case of karma biting him in the ass. This is the kind of post Ken expected because Ken knows in a way that he deserves it. I do hope as Maxx says he is trying to reinvent himself...maybe we will see a kinder, humbler KenC...anything is possible.

I think this is a great post

[Admin]

I think this is a great post

[sarcasm on]
 :hairraising:  What a SHOCK!  :hairraising:

[/sarcasm off]

[Shadow]

I think that many people can learn from KenC and Lena.
One thing that strikes me is that it shows KenC has true love for Lena.
He wishes to make her as happy as possible, if that is with or without him does not matter.
For those who are full of vindictive thoughts about their ex-wife and ex-girlfriends, be envious as you have not reached his level, and there for not know the happiness he has known.

[KenC]

I think that many people can learn from KenC and Lena.
One thing that strikes me is that it shows KenC has true love for Lena.
He wishes to make her as happy as possible, if that is with or without him does not matter.
For those who are full of vindictive thoughts about their ex-wife and ex-girlfriends, be envious as you have not reached his level, and there for not know the happiness he has known.

Thank you Shadow. You completely understand my position.  I wouldn't trade the last ten years of my life for anything else.  It is sad that it ended (for both of us) but we appreciate what we gave each other over the years.
KenC

[Gator]

Jazzy, it is good to see you post again.  Too bad it is only to take a potshot at someone you have disliked for years.  I dismiss what you say not because it seems vengeful, but  because you have neither the experience nor perspective to understand Ken.

You are in the first year of the Grand Plan - marry young, raise children together, and stay together until death as closest of friends.  Life-long partner.   Absolutely glorious if it happens. 

In my youth, another Grand Plan was to get our first job with a large corporation and work there for 40+ years, achieving all that we can be.  This notion no longer exists and has proven to be a Fairy Tale.  I have achieved immeasurably more success by not following it.

Is marriage headed the same way?  No, because the marriage Grand Plan is still possible. Yet, for a large number of us, the marriage Grand Plan was not achieved.  Are we unhappy because of this?  Not me!  Am I fulfilled?  Yes, completely (except for not having grandchildren)!  I have accomplished a great deal in my life, living it to the fullest.  And some of this would not have happened if I were locked into the Grand Plan.  And I would never have met my Muscovite.

My Muscovite wife had her Grand Plan stop shortly after it started.  Yet, today she is experiencing far more in life than if her first marriage had endured.  Her children are my live-in grandchildren (however, I must be the father too, e. g., when they get out of control because I can’t send them home to their parents  ).  AND LIFE IS FUN AND INTERESTING.

Ken married young, had a long marriage starting, and nurtured his children into adulthood.  When his Grand Plan marriage ended, he probably played around, yet decided he wanted to marry again when he met someone who made life really interesting and fun.  Ten years later, he says he has no regrets.  Specifically, he says:

I wouldn't trade the last ten years of my life for anything else.

Being in the same general stage of life as Ken and also with a young wife, I believe him, I really believe him.

A failure is to divorce with young children.  Or to divorce after a couple of years together and each day filled with bickering.  Or, God forbid, the false DV route.  Ken’s marriage was not a failure. 

For those who think otherwise, you should give more thought to the blessing of life.  Enjoy each day of your life - it ain't a dress rehearsal.

[Vaughn]

Probably some guy here that doesn't want to face the flaming from the KenC mutual appreciation society and fan club. Whatever, that in itself doesn't invalidate the contents of the post.

SJ, it's apparent you don't suscribe to the fan club newsletter, and I can understand that. The difference
between you and others who object to the tone of KenC's past posts is that you tend to be more
gentlemanly about it. It's not surprising that Big D, Jinx - or whatever handle he creates to get his jabs -
shows up here to exact his revenge under a veil of righteousness. In actuality, I was one of the people
here who did NOT hop on jinx - but rather PM'd him several times, encouraging him to consider the
substance of advice that was delivered rather crudely. He declined, as he chose to don combat gear,
all the while, whining, "That's not what I wrote, I didn't say that...."

KenC took several paths unknown to many of us, aside from age disparity. He and Lena never went K-1,
and Ken was far more creative than the average WM with respect to courting Lena and catering to her
friends and family. In short, not all of us agree with or feel comfortable with his M.O.

But for those os us inclined to take offense to KenC's own style of cluebat deliverance - I have to submit
with confidence that KenC, while coarse at moments, never showered anybody with harshness who didn't
need a wake-up call. And frequently, that happened immediately after it became evident that all good
advice was being discounted ala Lust Trumps Reason, Body Language is Enough, or Going K-1 on a Shoestring...

[facetrock]

  I will ask a question that I think alot of guys here are wondering about Ken. So what now? Are you going to look to the FSU again or are you going to give up on RWs?