Statistical abberation

[kievstar]

Knew nothing about Doug Salem.  So searched his name and read about 1 hour of posts from him all over the internet.  Olga would be less than 31 years old as of today so it is no surprise their business failed.  Most small businesses fail with 5-10 years.  Also a woman who is 21 years old in June 1999 would struggle in the marriage agency business do to experience in doing business.  I know their agency started after 1999.  Doug also mentioned he did not have enough money to start the business properly and had limited experience in running a business.  This is his words.  Maybe he was a little bitter in the letter as a failing business can cause many problems.

But the letter above is very different than what Doug posted numerous times in extreme detail in recent years.  Doug had many positive things to say. 

KenC to me seems like a good guy and is a straight shooter.

Why someone would post a letter from someone dead and who knows if the words were not changed. 

[Maxx2]

Most people know that Doug got into with people on these boards. He usually didn't stick around too long. He would go to another board and the same thing would happened. Then after he made the circuit he would come back here.

Doug considered me an outsider on these boards. He told me that he respected me because I was enough of a man not to allow my Russian wife to walk all over me. He said that condition of being walked on by a Russian wife was endemic to the men of these boards. He named names. In general he was pretty negative about most men in this endeavor. However there were a few people he had respect for. They were the one's in his opinion who were both decent guys and matched appropiately with their wives by looks and age. He and I did not see completely and to the degree eye to eye on this. I am more liberal. I see it as mostly good guys about 60% and 40% AM who are out and out losers, perverts, abusers, controlers, nut jobs and trash. Think about it. If I thought 99% of you were "perverts in seach of Lord know what" I wouldn't try to help any of you. 

Anyway what am getting at in the first paragraph is Doug had low tolerance for men with "unrealistic expectations" and would call them on it. Then he would call me and unload.

In regard to KenC. He didn't say much to me about him except one statement. He said KenC was Dan's best advertisment and that Dan must just love having him around as he (Ken) supports the unrealistic dreams of the men on this board. He was also offended by the risque photos of RW on this board.

Maxx

[Gator]

Doug's quoted letter sounds just like Doug.  However, what is its connection to this thread.   Is there one? 

KenC is not one of the "bunch of psychotic perverts, losers, and other social misfits in search of Lord only knows what" that Doug detested.  Doug's admission that he was "too honest and too candid" sounds like the same criticism of KenC.  So what is the point of quoting the letter?

Doug Salem is gone and I miss his writings.  He certainly could coin a phrase, and his descriptions of RW and life in Russia were enlightening and entertaining.

He was not infallible.   The "denial" referenced in the posted letter rings a bell.  He criticized Son of Clyde about being on the river "De Nile" when romancing a particular RW, and five years later S of C is still married. 

He also came up with a quantitative measure of how well an individual man would match with a particular RW based on her looks and his looks, etc.  Yep, the system would yield a score, and Doug was not bashful about sharing his thoughts about someone.

So let us not make Doug a God but respect him for what he was, one of the early icons in RW forums and a valuable contributor.

[Maxx2]

Gator, you are not that dumb. What you are trying to do is reinforce the negative explanations of me and why I posted it with your question. This letter is an intro on the whole subject of men with unrealistic expectations. I agree KenC is not a loser, pervert etc. However he did have unrealistic expectations. What was he thinking (did he?) would happen to him if he became broke or decrepit with advanced health or age issues? EVERYONE should ask that question. Most of these women stick around helping their husbands to the bathroom and putting up with their disfunctions in the hopes of getting an inheritance for themselves or their children. I know two cases. Met and talked with the men. One has a fifty year age difference, He's 80 and is impudent, is OK with her spending 6 months out of the year in Russia with her Russian boyfriend. He's like Hefner. Enjoys having his beautiful wife and her Russian girlfriends hang around the house and pool. He also has millions. The other is 70, not impudent, has an open marriage with his Russian wife. She works in a message parlor for kicks. Says she is hanging with her husband until he kicks. Not too cool with him having a pacemaker installed. She said "he might live to 100!" He's got some money too. Bottom line there is some pretty messed up marriages out there with these extreme age gap differences. Nothing any of us should want.


Maxx

[facetrock]

    I talked to Doug and Olga several times. I think they were nice people but to be fair Doug could be very opinionated and there were many here and on other boards that did not share the same veiw as him. He had a nasty habit of taking it personal if someone did not agree with him, then the flaming would start.
    But lets be fair, we all have made mistakes when it comes to this quest. KenC has been where few have been before. He was married to a Russian woman for ten years who was alot younger. He knew it was a risk and knew what the outcome could be. Lena was never out for a green card or she would not have stayed for so long.
   We like to talk about red flags here. I said this before to you Maxx, Elvira showed you every red flag that I have ever heard of and some that I didnt and all of them were before you were married.
    This is why some members got on your case, they could not believe any man would marry such a woman.
   I will say this again Maxx, I never seen you post anything here other than information on how to protect your azz when someones marriage crashes. You never give advice on romance and I think I know why. You dont understand in the least how women think or what they need. The concept of how to "be" with a woman is beyond you and you are jealous of those that can do it.
   Your attitude is that if I failed no one can do it and its just a matter of time when everyone here who is married to a RW will fail too.
 Maxx I would be surprised if you ever married again and if you did with your mindset it would not last long. You could never completly trust any woman again. I think you have been mortally wounded and I feel sorry for you.
   

[Maxx2]

 
   I will say this again Maxx, I never seen you post anything here other than information on how to protect your azz when someones marriage crashes. You never give advice on romance and I think I know why.
   

No you don't know why. Back in 2003 after the breakup I did post some advice on being a good husband and how to find a good Russian woman. But do you know what happened? KenC got on my case and told me to shut up. That I didn't know what I was talking about. That he had the qualifications to speak on the subject. That I should give up on offering advice until I was successfully married to a Russian woman like he was. Are you listening KUNA? He said I should give advice only to men who failed like me about divorce and such. And you know what? I stayed away from all the positive posts. Kept to my side of the street. In doing so I learned some things.

Maxx

[facetrock]

   No Maxx I think I am right. You dont know how things work on the other side of the street. I also would agree with KenC about you not giving advice on how to be a good husband or finding a good Russian woman. What you chose for a RW, with all the red flags, with all the crap she did before you were married only reinforces  my mind you didnt have a clue what you were doing, nor did you understand women or human nature in the least. Your marriage lasted about 6 months. KenCs lasted 10 years. I would listen to KenC before you. Huge difference.
   Your marriage ended 6 years ago. Since that time I have yet to see you post anything about communicating with a woman, taking a trip or anything else that has anything to do with RW other than the horror stories of you or others.
   Heres your chance Maxx. Tell us your new approach, tell us if you have taken trips and what the outcome was. Tell us about some of the women you have comunicated with and if you have any concerns. Please Maxx, just tell us something about a RW that doesnt pertain to divorce. Can you do that?

[tim 360]

   No Maxx I think I am right. You dont know how things work on the other side of the street. I also would agree with KenC about you not giving advice on how to be a good husband or finding a good Russian woman. What you chose for a RW, with all the red flags, with all the crap she did before you were married only reinforces  my mind you didnt have a clue what you were doing, nor did you understand women or human nature in the least. Your marriage lasted about 6 months. KenCs lasted 10 years. I would listen to KenC before you. Huge difference.
   Your marriage ended 6 years ago. Since that time I have yet to see you post anything about communicating with a woman, taking a trip or anything else that has anything to do with RW other than the horror stories of you or others.
   Heres your chance Maxx. Tell us your new approach, tell us if you have taken trips and what the outcome was. Tell us about some of the women you have comunicated with and if you have any concerns. Please Maxx, just tell us something about a RW that doesnt pertain to divorce. Can you do that?

Facetrock, that was an excellent post that rings quite true.  Maxx, your rant is getting kinda old and tired boring and irrelevant---give it and us a break.

[Maxx2]

Facetrock, you have been looking for five years and still no luck. What is up with that? I realised quickly that to get back up on the horse that threw me was not the right thing to do. I knew what conditions I needed to do it all over again. Those conditions were not there and are still not. I am talking about money here. As I said earlier, things have been down, up, down and on the way up again. I won't argue with you.


Maxx

[facetrock]

   Good point Maxx, I have been looking for five years. Almost got married once, since that time I have been back there twice on a WOVO. One was a nympho and one was nice but there was no fire. I will go back again this time to meet more than one. I am tired of just meeting one, hasnt worked for me. To be honest I am thinking of Kharkov and I dont think I will write to other women before I will go. I am thinking of using Mila from this site.
  But Maxx, come on, its been six years. Your business is on the upswing. Make a plan. Go get laid. Take a trip and meet some women. Just start over and meet some women again. You would be surprised what the company of a sweet woman will do for you. It is so easy for us to see that your pain still runs deep but it is time for you to realize that the majority of RW have nothing but the best intentions.
  Your story was a sad one but guess what Maxx, its nothing special. Your story has happened to thousands of American men married to American women. True they dont need a green card but DV against the man looks good in divorce court and its a good way to stick it up the mans azz.
  The only thing unique about your story is that you were married to an RW. Thats it. Thats all. Nothing more. I say again Maxx, get off your self pitying azz, get out and meet some women and start living again

I do faceting for a hobby and my 3 daughters confiscate almost all the stones I cut:)))

[Daveman]

   Good point Maxx, I have been looking for five years. Almost got married once, since that time I have been back there twice on a WOVO. One was a nympho and one was nice but there was no fire. I will go back again this time to meet more than one. I am tired of just meeting one, hasnt worked for me. To be honest I am thinking of Kharkov and I dont think I

Hey, you got her number handy? 

Just trying to lighten things up a bit, which rarely seems to work, but always worth a try. 

[KenC]

No you don't know why. Back in 2003 after the breakup I did post some advice on being a good husband and how to find a good Russian woman. But do you know what happened? KenC got on my case and told me to shut up. That I didn't know what I was talking about. That he had the qualifications to speak on the subject. That I should give up on offering advice until I was successfully married to a Russian woman like he was. Are you listening KUNA? He said I should give advice only to men who failed like me about divorce and such. And you know what? I stayed away from all the positive posts. Kept to my side of the street. In doing so I learned some things.

Maxx

Maxx,
That is such a crock.  You were a miserable bastard then as now.  I alone am responsible for your negative postings on Russian message boards?

While it is true that I am a big promoter of members posting of what they know, I have also encouraged you through posts and phone calls to move on and seek happiness.  But you continue to wallow in your misery and project your bad experiences on others as you have done here.  You haven't learned a damn thing.
KenC

[Maxx2]

   Good point Maxx, I have been looking for five years. Almost got married once, since that time I have been back there twice on a WOVO. One was a nympho and one was nice but there was no fire. I will go back again this time to meet more than one. I am tired of just meeting one, hasnt worked for me. To be honest I am thinking of Kharkov and I dont think I

I wish you luck and I really mean that. It takes a bit of luck in my opinion to find the right gal.

Are you still doing the lapadary business? Jewelry store sales sure have been down (I'm a gold refiner).

Maxx

[Maxx2]

Maxx,
That is such a crock.  You were a miserable bastard then as now.  I alone am responsible for your negative postings on Russian message boards?

You are right Ken. You were not the sole reason. I chose not to post on happy things about living with a Russian woman. I didn't have anything to offer. My whole engagement and marriage was one big freakin fraud.   

While it is true that I am a big promoter of members posting of what they know, I have also encouraged you through posts and phone calls to move on and seek happiness. But you continue to wallow in your misery and project your bad experiences on others as you have done here.  You haven't learned a damn thing.
KenC

Yes that is true what is in bold. There were various reasons why taking on a wife was not a good idea for me. I think it was you and I know Doug Salem that said something about needing a clean break from one's ex wife. I am talking about my first ex-wife here. I was paying her a rather large amount in spousal support plus she was living  in the lake home we jointly owned together. There were some other money and business issues that had to be taken care of. It has been one thing after another these last six years. Now this economy. Half my clients are on the verge of bankruptsy. I am rather glad I am alone and not supporting another mouth to feed. The spousal support is a past issue thank God. .

[facetrock]

Daveman.
Sometimes I really miss that woman:))))

[acrzybear]

I agree KenC is not a loser, pervert etc. However he did have unrealistic expectations. What was he thinking (did he?) would happen to him if he became broke or decrepit with advanced health or age issues? EVERYONE should ask that question. Most of these women stick around helping their husbands to the bathroom and putting up with their disfunctions in the hopes of getting an inheritance for themselves or their children. I know two cases. Met and talked with the men. One has a fifty year age difference, He's 80 and is impudent, is OK with her spending 6 months out of the year in Russia with her Russian boyfriend. He's like Hefner. Enjoys having his beautiful wife and her Russian girlfriends hang around the house and pool. He also has millions. The other is 70, not impudent, has an open marriage with his Russian wife. She works in a message parlor for kicks. Says she is hanging with her husband until he kicks. Not too cool with him having a pacemaker installed. She said "he might live to 100!" He's got some money too. Bottom line there is some pretty messed up marriages out there with these extreme age gap differences. Nothing any of us should want.
Maxx

 I remember all of the threads regarding the age gap questions and usually Ken C's situation was brought up, some called him a dirty old man, cradle robber etc...

 The interesting thing is that during all of these threads Ken C consistently told people that his marriage was not the norm.  He did not start out looking for a lady that much younger then him, he also addressed most of the age questions about when he was 70 and such.  

  Jesus Maxx you like holding onto your grudges don't you.  

  Just let it go and move on, live your life-find something that makes you happy and then do it.  If you keep hold grudges against people it will eat you up inside and you'll be miserable-life's to short for that crap.  

[Maxx2]

  Jesus Maxx you like holding onto your grudges don't you. 

  Just let it go and move on, live your life-find something that makes you happy and then do it.  If you keep hold grudges against people it will eat you up inside and you'll be miserable-life's to short for that crap. 

No grudges here with Ken. I suggested he was putting spin on his breakup. Sugarcoating it. That he married a material girl and should be happy she is out of his life. Good riddance and so on. Then I was told I was a meany and shouldn't kick a guy when he was down. I reminded everyone he did something worse to me back in '03. Back then a year later Ken and I made peace. That is what Ken meant on the preceeding page when he said he encouraged me (in '05). He did. I sent him some photos of a woman I was cooresponding with. Ken sent me some photos of himself and his (ex)wife. She with her designer clothes standing next to her black BMW sports car.

The way I see it she stuck with him up right up until the time he had financial hard times and the money ran out, then left. Something Ken said he would never do to her. Frankly I would like to turn a firehose on such a woman and flush her down the gutter.

This is as high a road I can manage with all of this.

Maxx

[Doll]

He did not start out looking for a lady that much younger then him, 

 Guys, don't take me wrong - I like KenC, but I asked him and got the answer about hos he met Lena. He met her online and made a phone call. It is not different from any dating. All men I met online called me.Every man who is interested in a woman makes her a call.

[ECOCKS]

Good point Doll.

[Maxx2]

 Guys, don't take me wrong - I like KenC,

Do you like me also? 

[acrzybear]

No grudges here with Ken. I suggested he was putting spin on his breakup. Sugarcoating it.

Maxx

 From my limited time on this earth I can tell you that it is only human nature for a person to make themselves  out to be better then they really are.  Did Ken C do this? I don't know, the only people that know the real truth are he and his Ex.

  I can tell you from personal experience that it is healthier to just close and move on, I've spent many times with Dr. J Daniels and my internalizing and it was a downward spiral.  I will give you some advice that has helped me over the years, just 2 little words and I usually start to feel better, so repeat after me " Hukana matada"

 It sounds silly but it works

[KenC]

No grudges here with Ken. I suggested he was putting spin on his breakup. Sugarcoating it. That he married a material girl and should be happy she is out of his life. Good riddance and so on. Then I was told I was a meany and shouldn't kick a guy when he was down. I reminded everyone he did something worse to me back in '03. Back then a year later Ken and I made peace. That is what Ken meant on the preceeding page when he said he encouraged me (in '05). He did. I sent him some photos of a woman I was cooresponding with. Ken sent me some photos of himself and his (ex)wife. She with her designer clothes standing next to her black BMW sports car.

The way I see it she stuck with him up right up until the time he had financial hard times and the money ran out, then left. Something Ken said he would never do to her. Frankly I would like to turn a firehose on such a woman and flush her down the gutter.
This is as high a road I can manage with all of this.

Maxx

The "way you see it" is from your sewer viewpoint Maxx, not the reality of what I have experienced.  And that is your biggest problem, you are either reading impaired or you refuse to understand that there are good people in the world that can handle a parting of ways civilly.  How dare you paint Lena with your filthy brush!  You (again) are talking out your ass.

There were so many things that Lena could have done and didn't to improve her own financial standing and future.  She could have waited a few months until our 10th anniversary and received an automatic lifetime alimony here in CA.  But she didn't.  Our splitting up of material assets gained during the marriage was very nonconfrontational, with both of us considering what was best for the other.  hell, she even tore up the signed settlement agreement when she knew my business was getting worse.

For you to insult her with your vile comments shows what a small man you really are.  If you had said such a thing to my face, I would kick your ass or die trying.  You are beyond help and it is better that you stay away from all women the rest of your life.
KenC
(You even got the car wrong, it was a Mercedes not a BMW)

[Maxx2]

The "way you see it" is from your sewer viewpoint Maxx, not the reality of what I have experienced.  And that is your biggest problem, you are either reading impaired or you refuse to understand that there are good people in the world that can handle a parting of ways civilly.  How dare you paint Lena with your filthy brush!  You (again) are talking out your ass.

There were so many things that Lena could have done and didn't to improve her own financial standing and future.  She could have waited a few months until our 10th anniversary and received an automatic lifetime alimony here in CA.  But she didn't.  Our splitting up of material assets gained during the marriage was very nonconfrontational, with both of us considering what was best for the other.  hell, she even tore up the signed settlement agreement when she knew my business was getting worse.

For you to insult her with your vile comments shows what a small man you really are.  If you had said such a thing to my face, I would kick your ass or die trying.  You are beyond help and it is better that you stay away from all women the rest of your life.
KenC
(You even got the car wrong, it was a Mercedes not a BMW)

Perhaps there wasn't much to divvy up. I know you are going to move outstate. Lost the home? And yes Ken if you did try and kick my ass you would die trying.

Maxx

[groovlstk]

Doug considered me an outsider on these boards. He told me that he respected me because I was enough of a man not to allow my Russian wife to walk all over me.

Maxx, make no mistake about it: your ex-wife DID walk all over you. Kudos to you for ending things before her entire plan came to fruition, but I really don't think you have the grounds to comport yourself as more manly than the general population here. Now pass the quiche, please. 

[KenC]

Perhaps there wasn't much to divvy up. I know you are going to move outstate. Lost the home? And yes Ken if you did try and kick my ass you would die trying.

Maxx

You will say just about anything to attempt to make yourself look better by incinuating things you have no knowledge of.  I am pondering moves for business and personal, but still here in sunny San Diego and may jump in my pool later.    Lena left with a newer and bigger Mercedes than the one in the photo that got you so twisted too. 

No matter what, I know she doesn't deserve the disrespect from a loser like you.  Go "help" the other guys that married sharks, as I don't need or want your input or "wise" advice.
KenC