Realities of FSUW

[mies]

My GF knows exactly how much I make and how much I spend... its all on paper for her to review.. and she is realistic about what that means..

That's arguable. If you drive with a child in the car, and then ask this child "do you want to drive yourself? will you be able to?" The child almost surely will respond "yes i can and i want to drive". Will the child be able to drive without accidents? unlikely.

I know she needs stability, but, there are lots of different ways to achieve it.  She, like I, would like to live in more than one place.  Part of accomplishing that is already set up and i have been just waiting for the right girl to take the next step. 

Just because my lifestyle won't work for you doesn't mean it will not work for someone else.  Not everyone wants to live in a house in the suburbs driving to the mall to get a stick of butter. 

not everyone wants to live in the area where drug addicts and sick homeless people are strolling the streets. If you ask me - I personally, as well as my husband both prefer to live in the active city area even with homeless people around - rather than safe but very lonely place. Most normal women, especially those who have kids or plan to have kids in the nearest future - would prefer to live in the suburban area. I don't know how things are in Tomsk, but the health condition of some shady transients in SFO looked shocking for me. When i will be planning to have kids in USA - I'd rather move to really safe place, even if it is a suburbia. 
I am not saying you cannot lead your lifestyle the way you want to. For sure it is possible. Just different priorities from some people.
By the way - if you smoke weed currently - it will be much easier to lose weight for you when you quit smoking. Weed is known to enhance appetite. Same refers to your fiance - if she continues drinking beer in the evening - in a few years she will most likely have problems with extra weight, and she might have skin problems in the first months after moving to the USA - because of changes in type of food and calories intake. You may want to keep that in mind too. 

[Ronnie]

According to our Russian-trained gastroenterologist, nearly 3 in 4 immigrants from Eastern Europe have the H Pylori bacterium.  This seems to be born out by data reporting that half the world's population have it as well.  H Pylori is the cause of ulcers and can increase the risk of stomach cancer as well as cause other stomach discomfort.  The bacterium is picked up usually in childhood from unclean water and fresh vegetables.

Please ask your doctor to check using a stool analysis or other effective test.  FWIW our Doctor said he himself had it when he immigrated and my wife tested positive today herself and will begin two-week treatment regime that is about 85% effective in eradicating it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helicobacter_pylori

[Sculpto]

Sculpto, you seem to be very nice and adequate man. I have a question for you - you do not necessarily need to answer it here - just think about the answer.

If (and I really mean IF) your student from Tomsk once in USA will not be able to find job fast enough, if she will not be adapting as fast as you are planning, if she will not be able to earn money for two trips home/year to finish her college there, if things go wrong - are you going to blame her same way as you are blaming now your French ex? Are you going to be telling everyone how you were fooled and in reality this girl was not motivated enough and was not really talented?

Mies.. its a fair question and I will do my best to answer honestly..

First.. with the French girl.. it was a vacation romance that was taken too far.  We met on the top of a pyramid in Mexico and spent four very awesome days together in the jungle.  A few weeks later she came for a three week visit.  A month later I went to France for a three week visit.  I had a lot of red flags when I was there but I was so totally enamored with her beauty and cute accent that ignored them all.  The biggest red flag of all was the fact that she was unemployed and had been for a long time and had no plans of getting a job.  She was on the dole, visited me while on the dole, and continued to recieve money from France for the first few months she was in the US.  She had no real ambitions, didn't want children and was never enthusastic about getting married.  I ignored all of that because we were in love.  

Once she arrived there were more red flags.  She refused to go out.  She cooked but refused to cook anything I wanted to eat.  As I have mentioned I have to be really careful with food or I will gain wait very fast.  All that French food with cream and butter and cheese.. well, guess what happened?  I told her I couldn't eat like that or I would get fat but she refused to change the menu.  Then, when I had gained 25 lbs in 8 weeks she started to complain I was getting fat.  CHANGE THE MENU!  I begged!  No deal.  So, I started to have to cook for myself again.  

Then she started bringing men over.  As I said the woman was stunning and a lot of men were after her.  Men were calling for her day and night.  She refused to accept the idea that these men wanted her for sex.  They were only freinds.. after all in France she had lots of male friends that never wanted sex with her.. but oh there was this exception and that exception etc.. see the pattern?  I lost control of my own home to the point where I had to be at work at 7 am and there were a bunch of people in the living room haivng a party several nights a week.

Then she started spending.  Oh she could spend allright.  It got out of control and by the time I realized just how much she had spent on clothes and jewlery and home improvements it was way too late.  It took over a year to recover financially.

Then she refused to go to the last major art show I did.  Name in the paper, photo op with the mayor.. that kind of event.  She didn't show up.  I felt bad so I went home early.. at 11pm.  She wasn't home.  She showed up after 2am.  One look at her and i knew she had sex.  She denied it.  A few weeks later on Valentines day she left for France.

The one thing I did right was I didn't marry her.  And oh, btw, she admitted to having sex with a complete stranger without protection the night of my opening.  

OK, so now I am involved with someone new who is also from another country.  Fortunately "A" speaks much better English already than the French girl did after living here for two years.  Because of everything that went wrong with her I had a long list of things in the back of my mind when I was seeking out a lady for marriage, and, once I found a good candidate I set about verifying things with her to make sure I wasn't making the same mistakes.  I have asked "A" certain critical questions repeatedly, sometimes with the same verbage and other times with different verbage.  her answers are always consistent.  She finally got annoyed about my redundancy which is part of what led to us sitting down and putting things on paper.

She doesn't have to find a "job" at all.  She just has to find a way to make a little bit of money.  Sometimes I hear about ladies like Scott's who blamed him that she was doing his job.. I could never tolerate a woman who is that spoiled or unmotivated.  I don't want a princess to sit at home on the couch waiting for me in high heels with dinner ready on the table.  

I want a partner, someone who has a high level of intelligence and who has somethign besides me to keep her mind occupied.  I have tested "A" on this in so many different ways that I am confident she fits this very important requirement.  I will help her figure out how to make some money.  But, I wont do whatever it is for her.  I will help her get started, maybe even invest some $, but, I will not go out and work my rear off while she does nothing.  She expects me to help her keep the house clean, so, it is only fair that if I am out working 8 or 10 or 12 hours a day 5 or 6 days a week and have to come home and help clean that she makes some kind of financial contribution to our family.  Besides, I know her, she is not happy if she isn't working on something.  She has two books she is working on, one a novel and the other is a non fiction regarding the state of journalism in Russia.  

If it takes her a couple of years to adapt and figure out her niche thats fine.  As long as she is making an effort.  If there is no effort I will be disappointed.  If she is out partying 5 nights a week she can go back home on the fast plane to china.  She knows all that.  She knows I will take her to see theater and exhibitions and nature.  She knows I will not stop her from finding some friends her age.  She knows I want to nurture her talent, not control her life.  

I have done everything i can and will continue to do everything possible so that she can achieve her visions and plans.  If she is succesful doing what she imagines for her life she will remain happy with me, but, if she feels stifled or repressed or margninalized or inadequate she will resent me and the marriage will fail.  So, I have set things into motion already so that she will have the tools and environment she needs to feel herself and to find her own expression of success.  

If all that doesn't work I won't have a reason to blame her.  It will mean that I didn't do enough.  But, I am not going to leave it all open ended.  I have to make some boundaries.  It will be natural for her to test those boundaries as she adapts.  If I keep the boundaries a little small at first it gives me the flexibility later to adapt to a changing scenario.  so, again if there is a failure it should be something that I have not done right, not that she wasn't able.  

And, if in the end, I have done everything short of living her life for her and it still doesn't work.. if there is nothing more that I or any other man could ever have done to make her happy and fullfilled.. well.. then it is simply not my fault.  But, I am going the extra mile to make sure that doesn't happen, so, hopefully it wont.

A wiser person than I once said, "Dont look for the right person, be the right person".  I am trying to do that.

[Sculpto]

That's arguable. If you drive with a child in the car, and then ask this child "do you want to drive yourself? will you be able to?" The child almost surely will respond "yes i can and i want to drive". Will the child be able to drive without accidents? unlikely.

LOL.  Mies we are talkig about a woman that had between 10 and 15 k in the bank before her Father got sick.  It was she who cared for him and his family during his illness.  Probably she is better with money than I am.  Ineed a goal to save for, like travelling or bringing a fiance over.  She seems to be able to just do it.  She had plenty of money and didn't waste it on clothes and perfume and other frivolities.  Iknow there is a lot of doubt that someone her age could have so much money, but, I know it is true and have confirmation of it from one of her friends in Tomsk that I was introduced to via yahoo. 

not everyone wants to live in the area where drug addicts and sick homeless people are strolling the streets. If you ask me - I personally, as well as my husband both prefer to live in the active city area even with homeless people around - rather than safe but very lonely place. Most normal women, especially those who have kids or plan to have kids in the nearest future - would prefer to live in the suburban area.

I was very surprised when I discussed buying a fixer upper house in a rough part of Oakland.  I expected her to reject the idea immediately, but, she was not against it.  I painted a picture a lot worse than it really is in that particular area.  I told her about gangs and drug dealers and daily shootings and she was still not against it.  She wants me to go ahead and buy a house in that district but I told her only after she is here and has had a chance to see it first hand.

I don't know how things are in Tomsk, but the health condition of some shady transients in SFO looked shocking for me. When i will be planning to have kids in USA - I'd rather move to really safe place, even if it is a suburbia. 

She says the soonest she wants kids is five years from now.  When we get to that point I would no way agree to live where i live now.  The schools here stink, the streets can be very dangerous... She knows I grew up in Kansas City and oddly it turns out her fav teacher was an exchange student at the University of Kansas.  She wants to see KC and is open to the idea of going there to raise a family.  Its a great place to do that, safe, excellent schools and a very low cost of living. 

I am not saying you cannot lead your lifestyle the way you want to. For sure it is possible. Just different priorities from some people.
By the way - if you smoke weed currently - it will be much easier to lose weight for you when you quit smoking. Weed is known to enhance appetite.

LOL!  That is the least of my problems in regard to weight.  Its purely metabolism and diet.  I had the same issues even as a child.

Same refers to your fiance - if she continues drinking beer in the evening - in a few years she will most likely have problems with extra weight, and she might have skin problems in the first months after moving to the USA - because of changes in type of food and calories intake. You may want to keep that in mind too. 

She has some skin problems now.  That is why I brought her all that stuff for her face.  I suppose it is possible she will gain weight here, but, I really doubt it.  her diet now is not so good, but, when I see the meager selection of fresh fruit and vegetables for sale in Moscow its no surprise.  I would imagine it is probably even worse in Tomsk.  Food in SF is exellent.  With careful selection at whole foods and the farmers market I eat 100% organic for no more than it would cost to eat conventional at Safeway.  She was really surprised at how quickly I recovered from the cold I caught in Moscow and attributed it to better food in the USA.  Plus, I am not with her because she is pretty.  don't get me wrong, she is attractive, but, I have had more physically beautiful women as girlfriends.  It is her creativity and intelligence and stubborness and extremism that attract me to her, so, if her face isn't perfect while she adapts to american food its not really a big deal. 

[Sculpto]

sorry for the overly long posts. 

[mies]

Sculpto - you aren't 20yo. And hence - you are not and cannot be equal with a girl in her 20s. Your reasoning has some major flaws in it. Women look for older man because older man can support them and give guidance. If they want to find an equal - they find a man of their age.

On the topic of your "A" - at least you met the girl who is good in passing tests. And definitely she is very patient (for what reasons - unknown). Still patience is a good thing for people who want to reach their goal.
I would not bother to continue relationship with a man who constantly checks and "proof-checks" me.

Thank you for your honest reply.

[mies]

LOL.  Mies we are talkig about a woman that had between 10 and 15 k in the bank before her Father got sick.  It was she who cared for him and his family during his illness.  Probably she is better with money than I am.  Ineed a goal to save for, like travelling or bringing a fiance over.  She seems to be able to just do it.  She had plenty of money and didn't waste it on clothes and perfume and other frivolities.  Iknow there is a lot of doubt that someone her age could have so much money, but, I know it is true and have confirmation of it from one of her friends in Tomsk that I was introduced to via yahoo.  

  I don't doubt it. My friends of the same age as your "A" earned and bought nice 2-3-bedroom apartments (not on mortgage, literally bought) in Kyiv. I do not question her ability to earn money back at home in Tomsk. I am saying it could be harder for her to start earning money right away in SFO.

LOL!  That is the least of my problems in regard to weight.  Its purely metabolism and diet.  I had the same issues even as a child.

maybe, or maybe not. do you eat after you smoke? Do you smoke in the evenings? Do you drink alcohol after you smoke? What i am trying to tell you - smoking becomes a part of your diet. It is easier to look after your weight and diet when you do not smoke.

She has some skin problems now. 

she has to stop drinking beer.

[Sculpto]

  I don't doubt it. My friends of the same age as your "A" earned and bought nice 2-3-bedroom apartments (not on mortgage, literally bought) in Kyiv. I do not question her ability to earn money back at home in Tomsk. I am saying it could be harder for her to start earning money right away in SFO.

Thanks.  I don't expect her to start earning immediately so there is room for her to adapt at her own pace.

maybe, or maybe not. do you eat after you smoke? Do you smoke in the evenings? Do you drink alcohol after you smoke? What i am trying to tell you - smoking becomes a part of your diet. It is easier to look after your weight and diet when you do not smoke.
 she has to stop drinking beer.

No I don't.  If I smoke in the evening it is right before bed.  If I smoke before going into the studio I do not bring food into the studio...  I am telling you, it is simply metabolism.  When I was living in Mexico at 2700 meters above sea level I lost weight fast.  My body liked the altitude.

I can't make her stop drinking beer.  It makes her happy.  I will say this though.. she has been told by her doctor that her skin problems are liver related.  I told her that if a doctor should ever happen to tell her that her alcohol consumption was causing serious health problems she would have to quit.  She agreed to that.  So.. what else can I do?  I might become her husband but I am not her Father. 

[mies]

I can't make her stop drinking beer.  It makes her happy.  I will say this though.. she has been told by her doctor that her skin problems are liver related.  I told her that if a doctor should ever happen to tell her that her alcohol consumption was causing serious health problems she would have to quit.  She agreed to that.  So.. what else can I do?  I might become her husband but I am not her Father. 

.
yes, i thought that's her liver. And beer. and her metabolism of course.
But then - maybe she doesn't care about perfect skin.
Regarding liver and alcohol - she can't pore poison (and regular alcohol consumption does have negative effect on liver) into her body and then use the  lotion external applications hoping it will improve the skin. If she were taking acid weekly or eating magic mushrooms - would you make her stop her doing it? Assuming it makes her happy and you aren't her Father.

[ I'm just discussing things. No criticism. ]

[Wienerin]

Funny story Kiev.  I have smoked weed more years than I didn't.  ... Nowadays I smoke basically in three different scenarios.. when I am in the art studio.. sometimes to sleep and a little bit socially.  I used to smoke from morning till night but at a certain point years ago that stopped making sense.

Did it ever occur to you that everyday smoking grass may have something to do with your great artistic project dragging on for 20 years? Only do not start screeching that I'm insulting you. I do not - just making a rather valid observation. I've met lots of Boheme - underground in Russia, Baltic States, Ukraine and France. The correlation about smoking and talking about creative urges and great projects and dling nothing, no achievement, zilch, nada - is pretty obvious. Either you work or dream of greatness. If you assume that I hate any mind-altering stuff, you would be totally correct

Getting weed in Ukraine was easy.  My friend the actress met me at the airport in Odessa, we went to the apartment and ten minutes later met up with some Ukrainian Rastas in the center of Odessa and went back to the apartment to smoke.  The quality was very low grade.  Here we wouldn't even smoke it but use it to make green butter to cook with.  I was told most of the weed comes from Crimea and it is grown in between the grapes.  Hey you all remember the famous Elnara of the HRB site.. she is a HUGE pot head. 

most of the weed - "plan", "dur'", "anasha",etc. comes from Middle Asia. Ukraine is more famous (infamous rather) for poppy stuff - green heads and straw, for home-made heroin.

...  I have also come to understand that all kinds of drug use is not only common in the FSU but on the level typical here in the US, maybe even more.  Meaning.. tons of people get high on all kinds of stuff.. coke, E and weed is the most common but there is a lot more heroin use than one might expect from how people look on the street.  Apparently there are a lot of "functional junkies" over there.  Something to keep in mind when your agency fiance that "doesn't smoke or drink" tells you she never did drugs.  At Kazantip offically there are no drugs consumed, but.. I think we all know better.. go in any nightclub playing any variation of techno music and there will be E and other stuff available...

cocaine is not at all common or widespread, mostly grass and poppy derivatives pr amphetamines and now E seems to enter the market. Your impression of a wide-spread use is not correct. Traditional Russian|Ukrainian "high" is still vodka or any other kind of alcohol.

Moreover, it's not considered "cool" and glamorous even within hippy communes or Bohemia. Rather stupid in fact. For many good reasons - it's a crime with very stiff penalties - a crime to manufacture, distribute, possess, use. Whatever. And Russian jail is no joke. There are almost now rehab clinics - on the premise that it's a crime to be a junky, so all treatment is done underground and costs the earth. The drugs are crude, of bad quality, and overdose or other consequences are a sad fact. I've given a link to the site of Russian hippies - there's a topic in memoriam of those who died already, - mostly from drugs or in prison. Modern methods of treatment - like methadon, etc. - are also illegal. 

Isn't Antwerp almost as famous for weed as Amsterdam?

All said Russia and Ukraine are no Antwerp or A"dam, not even CA. I wouldn't advice indulging while in Russia|Ukraine - you were incredibly lucky so far.

You see, you managed to retain a lot of not so endearing naivete. Ti me it's rather exasperating actually. You get some disjointed experience, make a couple of observations in not very common settings - only you have no instruments to measure the factual parameters, but prefer to intuit - and then make stunning sweeping conclusions, which are totally wrong and misleading. Same as Ronnie BTW, only his are nasty too

This would have been bad enough - but when told that the counclusions are wrong, you start to defend your point of view. Which is also wrong - where you do not have any hard data (i.e. you cannot judge whether the scene is common or extremely rare or what...) to stand by your rushly made conclusions. Same as with gay clubs and gay community as a whole.

Ourt hippies have sometimes visiting "fellow travellers" from Europe, Israel and even the US and Australia. But these are people who either understand pretty well the rfules of engagement or listen to the locals. The are smart, see?

[Sculpto]

If she were taking acid weekly or eating magic mushrooms - would you make her stop her doing it? Assuming it makes her happy and you aren't her Father.

HAHAHA!  Acid and mushrooms self regulate and have a MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH stronger effect than having a beer.  If you haven't tried them I can not explain.. In all my years I have not encountered more than a very small handfull of people that did hallucinogenics that regularly that didn't stop of their own accord.  She can have her beer as long as it doesn't cause relationship or health problems.. if it does then its another story.  And, since I have done more hallucinogens than most people I know I have no right to judge.. under the right circumstances I do not think there is a negative to mushrooms.. acid on the other hand is not natural and the DEA has made getting the good chemicals too difficult so what passes these days for acid isn't really of much use to anyone except those that would like to really mess up their synapses.  

though, I have often wondered how she will react to the fact that very few people in SF are really drinkers.. pot smokers everywhere but hardly anyone drinks anymore, except wine and she isn't really a wine drinker.  She might take up smoking pot if she has a taste of the good stuff.  Who knows..

[mies]

Wienerin, Sculpto may be right about some subcultures. For example here: http://photo.topdj.ua/19474/235861/
 And definitely right about Kazantip.

Sculpto - Wienerin is right about the danger. In Ukraine you'll need to give a good bribe if you get caught with stuff (my random guess based on gossips of my schoolmates - about 100$ for weed, and couple thousands $$$ for other things), and in Russia you'd go straight to jail - Russia put to jail belorussian citizens who had several packs of cough pills tussin - because it contains some amphetamine and it is officially forbidden in Russia. Some veterinarians were also convicted when they used anesthetics for animals which contained "illegal medicines". Those medicines are legal in all countries neighboring Russia, yet totally illegal in Russia.

I did not know that Ukraine is famous for poppy, I thought it's more common in Russia and Central Asia. It is true though that it was nearly impossible to grow even decorative poppy in our garden back in Ukraine - plants were disappearing at nights.

I was told by nice dude in SFO that in USA you get life sentence for acid. Is it true?

[Sculpto]

Wienerin..

for brevity..

lol @ you.  if it was the weed that has slowed down artistic production I would have stopped  along time ago.. no.. it is the pursuit of money and moreso the pursuit of love that have slowed things down.  I might be expert at breaking up but that doesn't mean I don't feel for a long time.  But, such is the life of many an artist throughout history.. one of my favorites.. Mondigliani.. nice Italian Jewish boy.. went to Paris and thought he was better than everyone because he didn't drink absinthe and didn't do cocaine.. a year or two later he was the biggest lush of all.. his candle burned bright but not for very long.  And then there is Lipschitz.. nice Russian Jewish boy.. came to Paris and worked quietly over the years never getting the fame but living an interesting and rich life.. Prinimaesh?

Sure vodka is the preferred buzz for most people because it is cheap and easy to get.. but I would also venture a guess you have not been inside any modern techno style nightclubs.. trust me on this.. the E is EVERYWHERE!  My friend in Odessa BEGGED me to bring some or a sheet of LSD.. you have any idea what that is worth in Ukraine?  I could have paid for two trips with one sheet.. but I am not a fool and don't smuggle (anymore) and have no desire to have someones bad trip on my karma.  

But, drug culture is drug culture.. if you are interested in such things it finds you.. not the other way around.  I wouldn't go looking for it when I am over there.. but if it finds its way to me like it did in Odessa, and I am with people I can trust in an environemnt they are familiar with.. whats the big deal?  And though I am sure prison is bad in Russia I am sure it is no worse than it is in Mexico.. maybe not even as bad.. and I surely don't worry about ending up in prison when I am in Mexico.  

As far as people being worried about the cops.. tell that to the crowds outside the Kuznetsky Moct metro station that were smoking hash and opium openly on the sidewalk in the evening.  I guess the cops have better things to do than worry about some dope heads?  Like maybe extorting some Tajiks or eating donuts..

Since you bring up the gay issue again.. let me tell you two things.. "A" told "M" that SF is a very gay city.. her reaction was simple "COOL" and a thumbs up.  I also found a site, I will see later if I can locate it again, about a lesbian couple that travelled extensively in Russia.  They not only had zero problems but were treated very warmly.  

I would wager a bet there are a lot more homosexuals in Russia than there are violent homophobics.  

Sometimes Wienerin.. when you are from the outside looking in, you can see things more clearly than the other way around.  Its not as if I haven't travelled a lot and been a lot of different and diverse places.  Its not as if I don't live in a big city with all kinds of diversity and variations.  You know Moscow is a rough town.. its big and fast and all that.. but I can tell you with no sarcasm whatsoever that it is positively tame compared to Mexico City.  EL DF has twice as many people and street crowds like you can't even imagine, a lot more poverty and cops that are twice as corrupt.  Plus unlike in Moscow I stick out in DF.  Its not as if I haven't the training to observe things...

btw.. I have smoked ganja on the steps of the US Capital in DC... on the line waiting to go in the Whitehouse..  on the steps of the cnetral police station in SF.. and lots of other places.. for many many years I was "Johnny Pot Seed" so if you happen to spot any weed growing along Interstate 70 anyplace between Denver and Philly... ahem..

funny how I got a better price for the taxi than "A" did.. without even speaking Russian.  there was a little envy and surprise in her eyes over that one.. same as when I found the good hot bread right out of the ovens and when I brought her the fresh strawberries from the street market that she couldn't find...

And btw.. I don't need your permission to do whatever I do.. though, the more I talk to you the more you sound familiar.. are you sure I don't know you?  

One last thing.. please don't put me in the same sentence with Ronnie.  There is a very big difference in mentality and you know it.  That really is an insult and now my feelings are hurt.    

God why did I think I could be brief???  LOL sorry again..  I am going home now.. time for soup.

one last comment.. if you are getting so upset over what I post.. maybe you should have a puff.. it will calm you down.  

[acrzybear]

In California the maximum you could get would by 6 years per offense

[Wienerin]

Wienerin, Sculpto may be right about some subcultures. For example here: http://photo.topdj.ua/19474/235861/
 And definitely right about Kazantip.

I think I wrote about some subcultures, didn't I? While Sculpto didn't write about subcultures at all - but made the usual sweeping statement of the wide spread of all kinds of drugs in FSU. While just the opposite is true - the society as a whole is much less tolerant to drug culture than in the US - maybe because this is still associated with the underworld, hippies, underground artists, etc. "undesirables".

Sculpto - Wienerin is right about the danger. In Ukraine you'll need to give a good bribe if you get caught with stuff (my random guess based on gossips of my schoolmates - about 100$ for weed, and couple thousands $$$ for other things), and in Russia you'd go straight to jail - Russia put to jail belorussian citizens who had several packs of cough pills tussin - because it contains some amphetamine and it is officially forbidden in Russia. Some veterinarians were also convicted when they used anesthetics for animals which contained "illegal medicines". Those medicines are legal in all countries neighboring Russia, yet totally illegal in Russia.

And methadon treatment for addiction is legal and practiced in Lithuania, but G-d forbid being caught with your prescription pills in Russia. Also the ease of wriggling out of an arrest with $100 bribe is problematical - expecially for a foreigner who is perceived as "rich" (and more apt to try to aboid trouble). Also not every policeman takes bribes

I did not know that Ukraine is famous for poppy, I thought it's more common in Russia and Central Asia. It is true though that it was nearly impossible to grow even decorative poppy in our garden back in Ukraine - plants were disappearing at nights.

Ukraine was and is the center for all the FSU for manufacture of opiates for medical industry... There're huge state plantations, which are an attraction for every pusher and junkhead all over, - though they are very heavily guarded. Russia for the most part doesn't have the soil or climate or both together for industrial poppy crops. They do not grow that well or juicy. "Our" Middle Asia for some reason never grew much poppies, - mainly the almost borderless mountain regions were (and are) the area of transit of these crops to the European markets. For many years though they have sniffing dogs at the airports and train stations - but it's not more or less private enterprise now. Central Asian and Russian mafia are in charge and have really ingenious ways of transporting raw opium and heroin from, say, Afganistan through Russia to the European and even American and Canadian markets.

I was told by nice dude in SFO that in USA you get life sentence for acid. Is it true?

Never heard about this. Maybe he was talking about three strikes law - but then the third strike which lands you in prison for life could be anything, a six-pack in a supermarket...

[mies]

Not to irritate you Sculpto, if your girl doesn't smoke - there could be problem with it too. She may be ok now, but once you start living together - you may find out she is persuading you to quit. And if you don't - there could be conflicts. But you'll find out yourself :-)

[mies]

Never heard about this. Maybe he was talking about three strikes law - but then the third strike which lands you in prison for life could be anything, a six-pack in a supermarket...

Don't know. He wasn't originally from California - came from small town at the East Coast to get a new job and new life in SFO. He had ODed with heroin back at home, nearly died, and decided he needs a new fresh start away from bad habits and wrong friends. To me SF looked like a very strange choice for a "new start".. but he knows better. He told me that depending on amount possessed - the person may be charged with either "use" or "sell", and selling acid is equal in penalty to first degree murder because person UI becomes irresponsible for the actions. Maybe he made up the whole story - I have no idea. Now asking Scuplto since he seems to be quite knowledgeable.

Ukraine was and is the center for all the FSU for manufacture of opiates for medical industry...

  How interesting.. I didn't know that.

[Sculpto]

Sculpto - Wienerin is right about the danger. In Ukraine you'll need to give a good bribe if you get caught with stuff (my random guess based on gossips of my schoolmates - about 100$ for weed, and couple thousands $$$ for other things), and in Russia you'd go straight to jail -
 

I was told by nice dude in SFO that in USA you get life sentence for acid. Is it true?

according to my friend in Odessa the going rate for a weed related bribe was $50.  I wouldn't do other drugs there anyway so it is irrelevant.  In fact, I don't do other drugs anymore at all.

As far as Russia... check this...

http://www.cannabisculture.com/articles/1800.html

and this

http://hightimes.com/news/ht_admin/2775

I have no idea what the penalty for lsd is.. I suppose dealing is pretty stiff.  However, you would have to really stupid to get busted with lsd, a clear odorless, tastless liquid.. hmmmm.. from what I have heard the Hells Angels pretty much control that trade.. though supposedly there are stilla  few chemists at Berkeley.. and btw, did you know that Morning Glory seeds contain lsd?  lsd 25 is the commercialized form synthesized from argot.. normal garden store morning glory seeds will give the same effect.. just need to soak them for about two hours under running water to get the chemical off that they apply to keep people from getting high on them.. then of course you could just let some rye go to mold...

here is a funny lsd story from SF.. so this hippie guy was standing around on Haight Ashbury giving people sugar cubes that were "blotted" with a colored liquid.  The cops came over and accused him of giving out LSD.. he laughed and said no.. it was performance art and then he offered one of the blotted sugar cubes to the cop.. the cop kindly refused and then the cops just walked off.. I was standing ten feet from where this happened.. the irony is there were two colors of liquid.. one for the "performance" and one for the people that wanted the real thing..

ok, now I really am going.. I need SOUP!

Not to irritate you Sculpto, if your girl doesn't smoke - there could be problem with it too. She may be ok now, but once you start living together - you may find out she is persuading you to quit. And if you don't - there could be conflicts. But you'll find out yourself :-)

LOL.. not if she wants her beer.. and.. "M" was going to bring me some but it never came together.. besides.. I dont sit around and pull bong hit after bong hit.. I have one small toke and go into the studio or to sleep.. and she says she likes the smell..

[remiel6]

according to california penal code on westlaw the three strikes rules doubles the prison time of the element being sentenced for. I just looked it up on Westlaw (law school helps for something

[remiel6]

the prison terms are for 2, 3, or 4 years extra years may be added for prior offences, or for extra charges, guns, whatever.

[mies]

thank you for reply :-)

[Zhena]

A little offtopic-the skin problems at that age are not because of the liver. It has a hormonal cause. Skin is my profession.
A health level in this age shouldnt have the serious problems though. If it has-its because of ecology in Tomsk and because of siberian unhealthy lifestyle. Most of siberians drink,and something more serious than a beer.

[Gator]

I can't make her stop drinking beer.  It makes her happy. 

This speaks volumes.  I don't even try to read all of this thread as it wanders.  However, I gather addiction is an issue.

One clear sign of alcoholism is a person's moods becoming negative upon consumption of alcohol.  However, the opposite is not necessarily true.   If someone needs alcohol to change her mood, that person is headed towards addiction. 

For a healthy person, alcohol is a mood enhancer:  a happy person becomes happier.  One should not be physiochemically dependent upon alcohol to change a down mood to a happy mood.  The pleasure and other "feel good" neurotransmitters should already be there.   If not, you are dealing with some mental disorder, and alcohol becomes a crutch.

As your evening of drinking progresses, does her happy mood decline?

Here are some mental signs of alcoholism:

Unable to control drinking: “just one drink” rapidly leads to more
Drinking leads to dangerous situations like driving drunk, walking in an unsafe area
Increased irritability, agitation and anger, lowered threshold for violence
Avoiding activities that do not involve the opportunity to drink
Excessive weeping and emotional displays
Unexplained absences and sick days from work, or difficulty making commitments
Oversleeping or difficulty sleeping

Review your history with her and ask yourself if any of the above apply. Considering her young age, just a hint of this behavior would alarm me.

I will say this though.. she has been told by her doctor that her skin problems are liver related.

My God!  She has a liver problem at her young age!!!!   And what does long-term alcohol use do to the liver?  It inflames the liver, leading to cirrhosis.  Cirrhosis is irreversible.  It killed my alcoholic uncle.

Sculpto, if you love "A", you should not encourage her to drink.  Spending time with you, especially after a long separation, should make her happy.  Limit her to a moderate amount of alcohol to celebrate (1-2 beers).  If she becomes angry about you not allowing more alcohol, that is a bad sign.

I am not sure a pothead is the best person for "A."   Then again, you would not be attracted to a normal woman - way too boring.  Instead of dating an Armenian, how about finding a Gypsy woman?!  They are a very interesting subculture with a long history.  If you get more involved in drugs in Russia, you will meet some Gypsies.
 

[Wienerin]

according to my friend in Odessa the going rate for a weed related bribe was $50.  I wouldn't do other drugs there anyway so it is irrelevant.  In fact, I don't do other drugs anymore at all.

As far as Russia... check this...

http://www.cannabisculture.com/articles/1800.html

and this

http://hightimes.com/news/ht_admin/2775

I'm again trying to explain to you that there are circles where weed and stronger stuff are common enough recreation. As well as there is drug-related "domestic industry", known places where it's easy to buy drugs, etc. Evevn if we do not go intu the murky area of drug mafia, etc. Always were - as far as I can remember, that's starting in the 60s...

But all of this is highly illegal with stiff penalties all over the FSU. And the laws are detting stiffer all the time, not easier as in the West.

As to your recollection of everybody smoking grass in public, first of all I do not believe it - remember, my younger son is still running around with his hippie crowd (mostly in StP and Moscow, but these communities are fluid, and visitors and visit from all over the FSU and Eastern Europe are common), and he and his friens were laughing like crazy, when I've related to them what you've said.

Some had been arrested and taken to a precinct for rolling a normal, that's with tobacco, cigarette in public. Also their crown usually doesn't run around with $50 or $100 notes to spare, and also many have a record - not necessarily drug-related, mostly for vagabondage (brodyazhnichestvo - бродяжничество), no housing registration, civil disobedience etc. Not uncommon are the arrests as a group when drug police crash onto an artists pad, where some may be smoking, some doing other stuff, and some simply are there - but everyone gets arrested.

You won't be reading all of this in the articles that are accessible to you, and you don't read Russian, otherwise I'd give you more sites... And I'm not into scaring you stiff but just to remind you that it's not you setting, you are NOT street-wise in a foreign place where the mentality, rules, laws are all unfamiliar to you, and you cannot sift truth from local lore or simply bragging. Also you are a foreigner there - which automatically means that you're a juicy prey for law-enforcement which is much more corrupt than what you're used to (have no idea how it compares to Mexico, but in Mexico at least you know the lingo and your environment)

And the general public - apart from these more or less exotic and not favorable viewd communities, - isn't at all tolerant to drugs and drug culture... Teenagers drinking from a bottle in the chidrens playground are quite another matter

[kievstar]

I lived in Ukraine.  If your a white American, Ukraine politician, or connected you can do whatever drug you like and the police will leave you alone.  Selling drugs would be different.  Ukraine is very relaxed on drugs and it is more old wives tales about people getting in trouble.  Some get in trouble but so do some people in USA.  Scultpo is right - the discos in Ukraine are full of drug users.

It is true that people do plant enough drugs on people in Ukraine and get the police to arrest you as a dealer.  Dealing is different than using. 

Ukraine women smoke the reefer just as much as the AW.  Want a cocaine head date some women from Delphania agency in Kiev. I have met a couple there.   I have seen women do cocaine right out in the open in Avalon disco at private tables.

Kiev is the biggest city in Ukraine.  And big city attractive young girls in Kiev party very hard.  For all the guys visiting Kiev - how many marry a girl under 25 years old and stay married 5-10 years.  Go to Kharkov for marriage go to Kiev for a party girl.  Someday I would like to meet a foreign man who married an attractive girl under 25 years of age in Kiev and is married at least 5 years.