Age Range. What is yours and why?

[Sculpto]

Then what the heck are we doing flying halfway around the world instead of looking in our own back yard??

BC.. I did look in my backyard.. and I looked on the other side of the ocean at the same time.. the connection happened there.. end of story

[groovlstk]

Then what the heck are we doing flying halfway around the world instead of looking in our own back yard??

Echo - nomics is the reason, although I'm sure there will be the usual litany of rationalizations from the peanut gallery.

[elliott]

I actually prefer a woman to already have children...It's the best of both worlds...the idea of a "ready made family".

Yes, you make a good point.

So, I get the girl that I want; she already has the kids that she wants.  I don't have to put up with babies crying all night and changing diapers; she's got the 'having babies' desire out of her system; I can be the father/husband figure that she wants without all the pregnancy drama and without the 'trying to start a family' drama because her family has already been started and I'm coming in mid-stride after what seems like the worst of it (crying all night, diapers, etc.) is over.  It's a win-win.  I like it.

[Sculpto]

How would you feel if you (with all your artistic and not tame nature) will be "persuaded"/required to work on a factory operating molds machine? or staying on a molds line checking for defects and manually picking out the defected ones?

My point is - men rarely tell on forum boards "my RW is a salesgirl in supermarket/store in her native town".
When man tells "woman should be ready to work in WalMart if she loves me" - this is sick approach, perverse romanticism if you will.

Mies.. i agree with you 100%.  I am doing things right now to make sure that my GF does not have this problem.. or it is at least minimized to the greatest degree possible.  I know she will not go to work at a store or be a server.. I can lay the groundwork for her but at the end of the day she is going to have to make her own career.  But then again i would not have chosen her if i had any doubts about her ability. 

BTW.. I have done extremely boring work like you mentioned.. I was the "patcher" on a molding line.. first job I had after finishing the Uni.  I thought I was smart.. knew everything.. hahaha!  Gained a lot of respect for people who have no other choice but working in a factory and knowledge that is still useful to this day. 

[Sculpto]

Echo - nomics is the reason, although I'm sure there will be the usual litany of rationalizations from the peanut gallery.

thats the reason for a lot of guys when they start out Groov.. but I htink as guys get more into it they usually come to understand the advantage they thought they had because of economics actually turns out to be a disadvantage.

[groovlstk]

thats the reason for a lot of guys when they start out Groov.. but I htink as guys get more into it they usually come to understand the advantage they thought they had because of economics actually turns out to be a disadvantage.

I disagree, most guys don't see it as a disadvantage until they are married and realize it was a mistake.

[Sculpto]

I disagree, most guys don't see it as a disadvantage until they are married and realize it was a mistake.

You could be right about that.  But that would go back to the self awareness thing that is central to this thread.

[OlgaH]

when i read ideas like this, i start thinking that *some* men want to get best woman only to destroy her life. Going to Russia to find young, beautiful, university educated, and refined woman, bring her to USA and make her work in WalMart.

Young, beautiful, university educated, and refined women have their own head. Such issues as education and career  building should be discussed before marriage and moving to a foreign country. It is one issue if his promises of help turned to be false, and some unexpected changes in life, force major circumstances is other issue.

There are women who go to work in WalMart, if other work is not available for her due to some circumstances, to help her husband during difficult time, and there are women, who leave their husbands, after being helped in obtaining education and career building.

Two years ago at a Corporation party I met a Russian woman and her husband, who is 30+ older than her. He helped her with additional education so she could get a nice job. She has started to built her carrier very fast. Nowadays while she plays tennis and visits gym in company of her boss after work and during weekends, her husband looks after her two teens.    

  

[Sculpto]

plays tennis and visits gym in company of her boss after work and during weekends, her husband looks after her two teens.    

do they go away to tennis competitions together? 

[mies]

Nowadays while she plays tennis and visits gym in company of her boss after work and during weekends, her husband looks after her two teens.    

how is that?

[elliott]

Nowadays while she plays tennis and visits gym in company of her boss after work and during weekends, her husband looks after her two teens.

 I realize my post is 

Do you mean 'company' as in corporation or as in personal accompaniment?

[OlgaH]

I realize my post is 

Do you mean 'company' as in corporation or as in personal accompaniment?

both ways.

[BC]

Echo - nomics is the reason, although I'm sure there will be the usual litany of rationalizations from the peanut gallery.

LOL.. maybe more b(oi)an(k)g for buck theory  

[SMS60]

how is that?

Fairly simple. Lots of AM have allowed their jewels to be cut off and turned into doormats instead of an equal partner.

Society and the media have been brainwashing for quite a few years. Its just plain bad to be a man.

Question, how common is this in the FSU?

[Sculpto]

I wouldn't jump to that conclusion from Olga's post.

The man is 30 years older than his wife.  Maybe he has ED or some other issues.  Maybe he is just really open minded.  Maybe he really just wanted the kids and didn't care so much about the wife.  Lots of things that could be speculated.. but.. if they are still together and functioning as a family unit.. we shouldn't judge.

[SMS60]

The man is 30 years older than his wife.  Maybe he has ED or some other issues. 

NO,NO..... I just read some posts about this , heck I think it was this thread, It cant have anything to do with it.

[OlgaH]

if they are still together and functioning as a family unit.. we shouldn't judge.

I don't know how things are functioning in their family.  Last time when we had a party she was without her husband.  But as she said her goal is higher education in US and when the time will be right she will leave her husband. 

[Sculpto]

Thats sad.. hope he got what he wanted when it was still good.

[mies]

So man will secure himself from divorce if he will not support his wife's education/career. Did i get your point right, Olga?

[Sculpto]

Mies I think the exact opposite would be true.  The divorce will just come much sooner.

[OlgaH]

So man will secure himself from divorce if he will not support his wife's education/career. Did i get your point right, Olga?

No, it was not my point at all 

In my previous post I said that women have their own head to make decisions regarding education and career building. 

[IAmZon]

If certification or accreditation was given on this topic, I would imagine I am very accomplished by now:)

This issue IS indeed debated, but it should not be. It is very much an individual journey - a man cannot be told, or learn.    A guy has to find out for himself. ( Almost always the hard way. )  The manner age gaps are discussed simply reflects the anxiety surrounding the issue. There is also the unavoidable truth that it is difficult for any AM to be anything other than a "one week wonder"  or a "glorified one week wonder".  Most guys do not have the luxury of time and exposure that would be required for AGE GAP understanding to become easy and natural (as it would be if you could live in the native culture ) Therefore, AGE GAPS UNDERSTANDINGS remain foreign at best, border line taboo at worst.

I think the question of AGE GAPS has an amplified status on RWD for a couple reasons:
- internet dating is categorized by age.
- AM are surprised and excited to enjoy interest from younger women - RW in this case.
- Age and League gaps are virtually inseparable ... and when a pretty young woman bats her eyes, many men turn to chicken sh$t
 
The first women I dated after my marriage ( the woman who introduced me to DA and NYET) was 24 when I was 41.  I remember that seemed scandalous to me at the time.  Since then, I have been lucky enough to have a healthy dating life for 5 men. The oldest women I dated was 32 - one of the very few AW.  All the other women have been between the ages of 18 - 28. Most relationships have been very casual. Two, however, have been romantic and certainly possessed serious possibilities. The age gaps 24 years and 17 years.

I ended my last relationship because I became uncomfortable not with the age difference at this moment .... but how things would likely play out over the next 10 - 15 years.  She was a smart, mature, and very much in love 22 year old girl.  But, IN THIS CASE I just felt uncomfortable.  I also was not in LOVE.  It was not fair to her to lead her on.

That does not NECESSARILY mean I would not date a 21 year old woman again.  I look at the individual and the circumstances. 

I value chemistry.  I value the things that make a true and durable friendship.  I will absolutely not tolerate any craziness in a woman - I mean REAL craziness. For serious consideration, I like independence, smarts, optimistic outlook, and trustworthiness.  I TRY to find that in ages 26 - 32.  I often spend my time with younger women, however.  Why?  Because for me lightning has not struck yet ... and, I still can.   

[ambach123]

With regard to employoability, the age of the FSUW is important. If she is 22 and if her husband helps her, she can get education and build a career. Though it is very likely that she would not be with her benefactor much longer.

If she is 32, building a new career would be difficult if not impossible. She would be relegated to either being unemployed or working as a shop assistant or a hostess in a restaurant, for the rest of her life. This fact is not lost on the RW that I knew.

One RW I know locally, has got her MBA with the help of her husband, she came at 22, as soon as she got her degree, you can guess what she did. She says her husband was " a very nice guy"; she just could not live with him, he was " too old " (14 years age difference). Of course he was a nice guy he paid for her college degree and the MBA.

Even Ken C's wife came when she was 19, regardless of whatever else happened in their marriage, she asked for a divorce shortly after she got her degree.

Do a search on Elena's Moldels, for RW in USA, you will see a slew of divorced RW in their late twenties and early thirties, looking to upgrade. They all have local education, and jobs. Some even have children, so apparently that was no hinderance to asking for a divorce.

The long and short of it is, that if you bring a young RW, and give her education and career with your  own money, chances are that she would look for greener pastures, ASAP.

Also form my experience, the RW don't like the idea of living under a bridge, the salary at Walmart does not get you a much better life. These are very practical women, don't understimate them.

The first rule, don't marry very young women, it is a disaster waiting to happen. The second rule, she is what she is, she is not getting a make over here.

[Misha]

If she is 32, building a new career would be difficult if not impossible. She would be relegated to either being unemployed or working as a shop assistant or a hostess in a restaurant, for the rest of her life. This fact is not lost on the RW that I knew.

Ambach, I have known many Russians who succeeded in building careers in Canada. One of my friends is a successful dentist. She came to Canada knowing very little English. While living on a farm, she had two children, and studied to be accepted into a specialized program for immigrant dentists to be trained and certified in Canada. She finally got in and is now working very successfully as a dentist. She is my age, so she is now 40. I have other Russian friends who also arrived in Canada past the age of 30 and are now working successfully as teachers and engineers. Sorry Ambach, as is often the case, you are simply wrong.

[ambach123]

Misha, since I have been here, there are three people who constantly told me that I am wrong. Look into the arrchives.

Ken C, Scott and you.

We already know what happened Ken C and Scott; I sincerely hope you have better luck than them.