not married, but question anyway

[ambach123]

Ken C, I would not respond to you, the only person you should pity is in the mirror.
I am not the one to kick you, many people already have.  At this point in your life, you are just a disgrace. I would move on.  The less I know about you the better off I am.

Gator, I would respond to you, you are a reasonable guy.

You are correct, most prenups are canned, according to the appellate court decisions in that state, including the choice of venue. So what is there to argue about by an expensive or an inexpensive lawyer?

The prenup must be presentd to her at least 60 days before the wedding and she must have a Russian speaking lawyer representing her.

[BC]

Also, doesn't it pay to file first in a divorce as this will determine where the divorce will happen? In the Becker case, she not only moved to Florida, but was also the first to file for a divorce from that state.

IIRC they bought the holiday house in Florida prior.  When the poop hit the fan I am sure she had some of the best legal beagles out there that quickly got her and the kids butt on a plane to bake in the sun and establish true residency.  Would be interesting how they handled the green card if it was even needed.

[Faux Pas]

Ken C, I would not respond to you, the only person you should pity is in the mirror.
I am not the one to kick you, many people already have.  At this point in your life, you are just a disgrace. I would move on.  The less I know about you the better off I am.

Gator, I would respond to you, you are a reasonable guy.

You are correct, most prenups are canned, according to the appellate court decisions in that state, including the choice of venue. So what is there to argue about by an expensive or an inexpensive lawyer?

The prenup must be presentd to her at least 60 days before the wedding and she must have a Russian speaking lawyer representing her.

ambach, why do you persist in trying to denigrate anyone who doesn't agree with you? Besides the many insane comments you've made on the forum, this alone does project you as a disturbed individual with some serious issues. KenC's comment wasn't defaming or insulting yet you have to respond in an insulting manner. Your attempts at hitting below the belt here only reveal the kind of man you really are. IMO

[Ade]

ambach, why do you persist in trying to denigrate anyone who doesn't agree with you? Besides the many insane comments you've made on the forum, this alone does project you as a disturbed individual with some serious issues. KenC's comment wasn't defaming or insulting yet you have to respond in an insulting manner. Your attempts at hitting below the belt here only reveal the kind of man you really are. IMO

Were you reading a different post of KenC's? Not that I blame him for it, Ambach is an insignificant worm and from his posts it's pretty obvious he's absolutely clueless when it comes to real relationships.

[Faux Pas]

Were you reading a different post of KenC's? Not that I blame him for it, Ambach is an insignificant worm and from his posts it's pretty obvious he's absolutely clueless when it comes to real relationships.

 

No I read the same one you did. KenC's post was pointed but I didn't find it insulting to ambach, did you?

[Ade]

 

No I read the same one you did. KenC's post was pointed but I didn't find it insulting to ambach, did you?

Well, besides the implication that he's not really much of a human, yes.
But I won't deny the accuracy of his post.

[kievstar]

Money can drive people crazy.  I know as  I chased it for years.  But you can chase money but how you treat people should not matter how rich or poor you are (or social class and education level).  I just have a problem with prenups and it is really is a slave contract IMO.

I understand why someone like Donald Trump has one "pre nup" as he buys the wives he has.  His marriages are like business deals.  I would never want a slave for a wife.  If you get a divorce, maybe you lose 50% plus, your house, and future payments - big deal.  If your a real rich man, you can make money easily.  Most people lost 20 -50% last year and look it came back this year. 

[ScottinCrimea]

ambach's entire plan just reeks.  Here's his plan as he has laid it out. He gets the woman to agree to a prenup:  Not THE prenup because he isn't going to let her see any of the details until the last minute.  For the first 29 days he will dazzle her with his attention and lifestyle and then hit her with the prenup exactly 61 days before the fiance' visa expires.  He will not have it translated into Russian and will hire for her the cheapest Russian speaking attorney he can find.  Of course the attorney will be working for him, not her. At that point she has already left her country, her family and her culture and the pressures to accept the agreement will put her in the exact difficult spot that ambach wants her to be in.

As soon as he has her signature on the prenup, they will fly down to Las Vegas for a quicky wedding because ambach believes that Nevada divorce laws will allow him to put things in the prenup that no other state in the nation would consider fair.  He is counting on their state of residence to enforce Nevada marriage law.  As a backup plan, he will include verbage that, if she files for divorce, she must first move to Nevada, at her own expense, to establish residency there.

Once his plan is complete, he can hold the prenup over her head as blackmail should she ever consider leaving him.

If he had any shred of decency or any real consideration for the woman he claims to love and want to marry, he would have the full prenup translated into Russian and give it to her to review long before she agrees to come to the US.  But of course he won't do that because his self esteem is so low that he knows that, were she to actually see what she was getting into, no matter how charming his personality and any proclaimed feelings for him, she would never agree to such an arrangement.

ambach doesn't want fairness, he wants control. That's the worst form of abuse.

[Chris59]

Regardless of what side of the fence you are on, regarding whether or not a prenup is right for you, I believe everyone should at least consider what has been mentioned here, and what is right for their own circumstances.

I traveled to the FSU and met several women, about which I am still writing a trip report. In the end, many of these "what if" issues that have been discussed here, weighed heavily into my decision to reconsider this whole FSU thing.

As for me, I would personally prefer not to do a prenup, as I think that just sends the wrong message to your prospective spouse. However, in my trip report, I have taken some flak seemingly for not making a committment to a woman after having only spent several days together. Someone here earlier stated that you really should take the time to get to know your lady, which is good advice.

I have actually read somewhere, on various RW-related sites, that some of the women are "schooled" in techniques (i.e. domestic abuse allegations, etc.) for establishing grounds favorable to them in a divorce. This is only what I read, and I'm sure that it's a remote possibility, but I would hope that the number of women in this category is minimal. My bottom line recommendation is,...take the time to REALLY get to know your lady, even if it takes 3 or 4 trips to the FSU to accomplish this. Your mileage may vary.

[ambach123]

Scott, your personality has not changed. You are an obnoxious person. I did not bother to read your post, because you don't get it, you don't like what I do, move on. What is it got to do with you?

Your ex wife took you to the cleaners, you still did not get it.

You are broke, and homeless, and you are advising other people? The magic of internet, any stupid guy can give advice.

[Misha]

What is it got to do with you?

Sadly, people like you reflect badly on all of us who do have Russian wives as you live up to all the negative stereotypes about men chasing Russian brides 

You are broke, and homeless, and you are advising other people? The magic of internet, any stupid guy can give advice.

I just love the way that people assume so much in these forums. Where exaclty did Scott post that he was broke and homeless?!?

[BC]

He's just showing true colors Misha..

That's his standard excuse when he has nothing else up the sleeve to pull out.  By now just cut n paste..

[KenC]

I really do not understand why ambach wastes his time going to the fsu.  He could just buy a whore here, stateside.  She will surely be impressed with his wallet, she will love him any way he wants and the price can be negotiated before hand. No muss, no fuss. ambach?  Consider the possibilities in my suggestion.  No cutting and pasting of an on line prenupt, no dash to Vegas for marriage and humanity will be forever grateful if you never procreate.
KenC

[BC]

KenC,

Admittedly Ambach is quite irritating in the way he represents himself and the manner he chooses to go forward.

We have all seen enough evidence that his way of thinking does not fit well with those around him.

It's his way or highway and his purpose here seems to have only one end - and that is proving himself right.. a battle he struggles with constantly.  I can sorta identify when remembering late teen years when I had all life's answers in-hand.  IIRC during a rather hefty discourse I recall my Dad smiling at me while he told me some very simple words that carry to this day:  "Son, just look at everyone around you, is it realistic to think they are all wrong?".. Aristotle I was not.

He may or may not have achieved some degree of business success, but as you noted, the very few truly wealthy that do act like he does are usually either shunned or at the most tolerated as long as the green river flows.  The progression path of first wealth is interesting.. Shoes, clothes, manicure, nice car, better car, best car, boat, house and when even that does not seem enough to draw a crowd of fans anymore, dump the ex and shop for a tarty wife 20 years younger.. yepper that's when you get to feel like a real man.. LOL.  A good many that are still wealthy today at one time or other lost it all before.. at least once, but in the process gained their most important worth - humility.  Ambach obviously still has a long way to go and hard lessons still to learn.

One thing I have noted is that most if not all the RW I have met are very perceptive of human character and quite capable of detecting BS a kilometer away, regardless of their education or status.  If a woman stands by his side she's there for a reason and Ambach says it well enough himself:

She is deeply in love, for no small part because I rose from ashes.

I wish him no ill, but do hope he gets exactly what he deserves if he ever has to walk into court waving Exhibit "A" - 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Prenuptial Agreements'.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust I say.

[ScottinCrimea]

Scott, your personality has not changed. You are an obnoxious person. I did not bother to read your post, because you don't get it, you don't like what I do, move on. What is it got to do with you?

Your ex wife took you to the cleaners, you still did not get it.

You are broke, and homeless, and you are advising other people? The magic of internet, any stupid guy can give advice.

It is evident that you judge others purely based on their financial situation, for the simple reason that this is how you judge yourself.  Your self esteem is such that you cannot judge yourself positively on any other factors.  To be honest, neither can I.

The worst insult that you feel you can throw at a man is that he is broke and homeless.  While I am far from either, I do know of someone who would  invite your ultimate contempt because he was homeless and penniless.  He had nothing that you would consider important in your judgement of a man.  His name was Gandhi.

[BC]

Scott, another good point on top of many..

Considering he hasn't logged in three days, for the first time I honestly hope we are beating a dead horse.

Funny how he wants us all to ignore him, but in the end, faced with facts, he ignores himself..

But he'll be back for sure, 'just busy for a time' either imitating Trump or playing chump.. whatever..

[Ranetka]

The worst insult that you feel you can throw at a man is that he is broke and homeless.  While I am far from either, I do know of someone who would  invite your ultimate contempt because he was homeless and penniless.  He had nothing that you would consider important in your judgement of a man.  His name was Gandhi.

Just out of curiousity...
I always thought that Gandhi was Cambridge (England) educated solicitor who came from Indian arictocratic family and very priviledged background. Are you sure he had ever been homeless and penniless?

[dobradavid]

Have read more than a few scary bits within the forum about marriage gone disastrously wrong. 

I understand, of course, "get to the know the woman as well as possible," and "don't ignore the red flags." 

What are the legal options to protect oneself before getting married to an RW/UW?
Can someone point me in the right direction? 

Prenup in both languages. 

[dobradavid]

A pastor once told me that prenups are good. It's nice to know what everybody is going to get going into marriage and what they are getting when they get out of it. With money issues aside, people can focus on marrying for love.

Very nicely put. 

[Mars]

  I personally would never do a prenup as I prefer to know exactly with who I am marrying before entering into a marriage contract. 

Rule #1:  Know the person you are marrying!!!!

- - - - - -

Sounds like a great idea.  But total nonsense.  Neither party to any marriage knows 'exactly' the other person or what will develop down the road.

[Misha]

Sounds like a great idea.  But total nonsense.  Neither party to any marriage knows 'exactly' the other person or what will develop down the road.

Sure, you may not know the name of her 2nd grade teacher, but you should know the essentials before getting married. It seems to me that a man can know, but he deludes himself or does not really want to know...

[Mars]

Of course Misha.  Each person should do the best they can to try to know and understand the person who they might be marrying.  And don't be so silly as to suggest things about 2nd grade teachers etc.

But, that said, it is still total nonsense to be using words like 'exactly' or any that are remotely similar.

Try to do the best you can.  But don't delude yourself that you know the other person 'exactly' or that you really even know them at all.  Just try to weed out all that you can; the rest is purely due to luck and prayer.

[Misha]

But, that said, it is still total nonsense to be using words like 'exactly' or any that are remotely similar.

Try to do the best you can.  But don't delude yourself that you know the other person 'exactly' or that you really even know them at all. 

We will have to agree to disagree on this one. I believe it is possible to learn a person's core values and basic personality traits. I do not believe that people will change radically over a few months or even a few years. Sure, a person can put up a facade, but if you are a careful observer, the real "ego" of the person IMHO will come through in the first few months of knowing someone.

[KenC]

Mars/Misha,
Lena offered to sign any prenuptual agreement I wanted prior to marriage.  I didn't think I needed one as I was sure in her character and sense of fairness.  I was correct in my assessment and we had zero problems in splitting up material assets from the marriage.

I don't reccommend this for any man or woman that is in a position to need a prenuptual agreement due to many other reasons, but it did not work against me either.
KenC

[Misha]

I don't reccommend this for any man or woman that is in a position to need a prenuptual agreement due to many other reasons, but it did not work against me either.
KenC

True, but a pre-nupt should not be seen as a magic amulet that replaces getting to know a woman before marrying her IMHO.