A woman of your age

[groovlstk]

Btw Groov...

Insecure? It's interesting to note that you expended more than one post saying why can't anyone engage in a civil discussion about this issue, yet when you were afforded an opportunity, your first response displayed the antics above.

Wonder no more...

GQ, I didn't accuse anyone specifically of bunched panties, but like the old saying goes: If the briefs fit...

It's pretty clear to me that there are plenty of guys in this thread who'd like me to shut up. I kindly and respectfully invite them to put me on ignore. I will not back off my simple claim that a big age gap is going to cause issues somewhere down the line. Now, every time I say that someone twists my words to the extreme and accuses me of saying all marriages with age gaps will fail or all divorces are solely due to age gaps. The hysteria is frightening to me, and I hope I'm not the only one who sees it.

[Admin]

Dan,
OK let's take the children issue.  I love kids.  Desperately wanted them.  Have 2 great adult kids now and love them to death.  My son paid me the highest compliment on a recent visit to MI a month ago.  He told me he had the perfect childhood and he knew that I was largly responsible for it.  But that was 30 years ago!

Lena claimed never to want to have children when we married.  I knew that she might change her mind down the road and she did.  But it took her ten years to change it.  Maybe at 46, I could have had my mind changed, but not at 56.  This is an age difference issue in our case.  Neither of us is wrong, just at a different stage of life due to our ages.
KenC

Ken,

Children was just an example - though a fairly obvious one when discussing age gaps. Another is the different stages of worklife. When one partner is seeking to 'make a name for themselves' in their career, and the other is looking at a comfortable retirement from a day-to-day working schedule. "Age gap"? - yes, but a bit more specific in analysis, and may speak more to individual goals than a difference in ages. Another may be the health issues that affect us at different life stages. While accurate, it is a worthwhile issue to address with greater specificity than simply "age gap" because health issues can affect us at any stage of life.

Just some thoughts.

- Dan

[groovlstk]

So maybe the issue is, simply, what does it mean to pronounce that; "Age Gap Marriages are Destined for Failure" ? Why? On what, more tangible, basis?
- Dan

Dan, I can only speak for myself, but I never commented that age gap marriages are destined to fail. I would, in effect, be predicting the demise of my own marriage.

My statement was simply that a big age gap is bound to cause issues somewhere down the road. I would LOVE for someone to refute that, but no one has.

[Daveman]

Dan, I can only speak for myself, but I never commented that age gap marriages are destined to fail. I would, in effect, be predicting the demise of my own marriage.

My statement was simply that a big age gap is bound to cause issues somewhere down the road. I would LOVE for someone to refute that, but no one has.

Well, I certainly can't refute that because the common sense logic of the statement flashes with a neon sparkle.  I think KenC's "stages of life" analysis makes the absolute most logical sense of any explanation I've read.   I think Dan touches on a great point also. The ages themselves (counting of planetary revolutions) is, quite frankly, meaningless.  There are actual causes of problems, e.g., children, goals, sex drive, mellow vs dance booty off, health, etc., which are indeed unrelated to numbers (semantics) yet most are very related to stages of life.  Of course, some people simply marry incompatible people, etc, which is doomed to fail from the outset whether the same age or a 25 year gap.

Speaking about specifics, those actual issues which can/do arise is much more beneficial than speaking about the numbers.  I for one, hate to be blindsided.  "Age Gap Risk" is just too vague to be of any real value.  This thread is cutting to the chase and beginning to address what those issues actually are which reside under the age gap umbrella. Very cool.

[Admin]

Dan, I can only speak for myself, but I never commented that age gap marriages are destined to fail. I would, in effect, be predicting the demise of my own marriage.

My statement was simply that a big age gap is bound to cause issues somewhere down the road. I would LOVE for someone to refute that, but no one has.

groov,

I see my post immediately followed yours, and that it may be easily interpreted that my hypothetical quote might be attributed to your post just prior. I actually meant it more generally - that is, addressing a radical position (NOT attributed to you) that we sometimes see from those vocally opposed to age gap marriages.

I am with you, and others in this topic, that counsel serious consideration be given to the prospect of an age gap marriage (defined as ?? 15+, 20+ - I am not sure the demarcation). I am just wondering aloud if the issue of 'age gap' is sufficiently specific to be useful in any way? My tendency is to believe it should be decomposed into more tangible, or actionable, specific issues rather than attributed to something as amorphous as 'age gap.'

Like I wrote - just thinking aloud (and writing it out).

- Dan

[Gator]

Groov,
Your right, Turbo has it ass backward (again).

I am watching baseball and dropped off the fast pace of this thread.

This statement confuses me because I earlier agreed with Turbo. 
Does Turbo have it backwards?  Examine this example he provided: 

When someone is a one week wonder and marries a younger woman the problem isn't the age gap, it is that they didn't get to know each other well enough.

Theorizing that age is the reason for their breakup yields the corollary that if they were the same age the marriage would endure.   That is preposterous.

The same with his other example.

Personally, to me, when a GCW hooks on to a rich older guy and dumps him as soon as she gets her green card it isn't an age gap problem.  She was a GCW.

I don't think Maxx was rich or much older than his False DV wife.  However, if Maxx were much older, Elvira is no longer an evil woman?

[Simoni]

Oh my goodness...another age gap thread 

When this topic pops up, I bring out the old yellow notes from years ago.  The answers are the same, so there is no use coming up with new material.

Anyway, here we go...

The real answer to the question is quite simple; I'll hold that for the end of the post.  But for now, consider~

A)  In my condo, filled with well-off older people, couples almost all have age gaps and it's always the man who is older.  Most gaps appear to be 10-25 years.  And yes, the couples are quite happy, and yes, it is a second marriage for most of the men.  And no-- most are not international marriages.  Just the case of well off American men marrying beautiful younger American women.   Twenty years later, both look good.

B) A Russian woman friend of ours married an American man who was three years older.  She moved from Russia to America to marry and live with him, after only a few meetings.  He beat her.  He deprived her of many things.  After a year of this, she escaped to a shelter.  A year later, she met a good American man, 18 years older than her.  They married eight years ago.  They have a wonderful life together, and are very happy.  For her, three years age difference did not work.  Eighteen years does.

C)  Common sense tells us that age gaps under 10 years would be the best.  Common sense is common.  But common is not what most men here are.

Now, the answer I promised.

It's not about age gap at all.  It's about relationship.  Those men who take the time, face time and over several years of dating, to match up with their mate, have the best chance of success, regardless of age differences.  It's about matching up with a family oriented, non-materialistic, loving and caring woman.  These kind don't stand out on agency web pages, so it takes a wise and patient man to find them.  But when you do, then life can be bliss, and yes, you can live happily ever after...

[KenC]

Gator,
Turbo and it appears Dan too, seem to think that the specific reasons for a marriage break up like having children for example are the reasons and not because of an age gap.  Whereas, I believe the root of the specific problem is the age difference.  Many of the specific problems fall under the age difference umbrella.  Of course as I said up thread it is more of a stage of life issue than the number of years.
Capice?
KenC

[Gator]

My statement was simply that a big age gap is bound to cause issues somewhere down the road. I would LOVE for someone to refute that, but no one has.

I refute it.

Issues don't occur just down the road;  IMO they occur sooner as well as later.  

The issues represent a valid test of the relationship.  When  issues become apparent a committed, compatible couple will resolve them productively.  Frequently some accommodation is necessary.  Tell me what relationship (marriage, business, children) does not require some accommodation.  

[Gator]

Oh my goodness...another age gap thread 

Hi Simoni.  Good to see you.  How's the little woman, her mother and the little princess?    Surely you have developed a sleep routine by now.

This age gap thread was started by a RW whose RWD persona is that of  a nymphomaniac.  She is away tending to her imprisoned men, and meanwhile we are addressing the most debated issue.  This time the posters have added some new material, or taken a variant position, yet most is rehashed.

Regarding the rest of your post.  I thought your speciality is creative writing, not logic. 

Now, the answer I promised.

It's not about age gap at all.  It's about relationship.  Those men who take the time, face time and over several years of dating, to match up with their mate, have the best chance of success, regardless of age differences. 

I refer to it as being committed and compatible.  It does not happen quickly, at least in my case.

[Simoni]

Hi Simoni.  Good to see you.  How's the little woman, her mother and the little princess?    Surely you have developed a sleep routine by now.

Regarding the rest of your post.  I thought your speciality is creative writing, not logic. 

I refer to it as being committed and compatible.  It does not happen quickly, at least in my case.

Hello, Gator.

We are all doing great!  Every day is to be treasured.  We know this, and do.   She is seven months old now, and has the most beautiful smile and laugh you have ever seen or heard.  She loves us so much that she wakes us up two or three times a night to let us know! LOL

Regarding men marrying younger women, one good reason to do so is to create a family.  Thus, a man of 45 who wants children must consider marrying a woman young enough to have a child.  That was indeed part of my logic, and our little daughter and the love we share as a family bear witness to the validity of that logic.

All is well.

[IAmZon]

Hola gentlemen...

it is a rehashed and recycled topic because it has yet to be understood by the group, and perhaps ourselves too.

Gator and Simoni are correct absolutely in that the final analysis is individual and the domain of relationship management / love / or whatever.   It is in the generalizations; the cultural cues; the religious, symbolic, or mythological alignments; the community standards where confusion arises.  AND THERE IS A TON OF IT!!!  ( Did you guys see the "cougar cruise" ... a cruise of 40 something women looking to "hunt" younger men for sexual fun.  The news networks covered the story good naturedly. CAN YOU IMAGE, the out cry in today's America if there was a similar cruise of middle aged men????  We are living in a peculiar time and place!)

The truth is that its complex with many variables.   It is a moving target.

If you live in the woman's home town, things change greatly.  If you are affluent, things change greatly. Etc...  The issue of life phases is concrete, and should be known in advance.  We have two senior members whose marriage did not last because of this - probably more.

I was very tied up about age gaps when I first came on this board because large age gaps was not normal in my life at the time, with my community standards.  I spend most of my time now in South America, and I have to TRY to REMEMBER what the problem is.  

[GQBlues]

For those in age-disparity marriages, using the checklist like the one below, how or where would you attribute the difficulties you experienced in your respective relationships since you got married.

a) cultural
b) age difference
c) her adjustment
d) your adjustment
e) language difficulties
f) economics

We are trying to arrive to an absolute place, so maybe this is a good place to start. If everyone can attribute situations, circumstances, etc...that can be directly attributed to differences in your respective ages, then maybe we can formulate common denominator that we can agree to be constant.

...and no, those who aren't in an age-disparity marriages cannot participate. Those who are in an age-disparity relationship but are not yet married also cannot participate. No opinions, no conjecture, no speculations. Just pure actual accounting of difficulties that are directly caused by age differences.

If not, dunno...maybe Dan can come up with something better (?).

[Admin]

Prolly ought to start with a definition of what constitutes an "age-gap marriage."

Should we draw the datum at 15+ years - or 10+ years - or 20+ years? Most would probably agree with 20+ years qualifying. And many would probably conclude that 10 years would not. So then it becomes determination of where we draw the line.

My vote (for simplicity) would be 15+ years qualifies as an "age-gap marriage." Others may cast votes for a different demarcation point.

Once THAT is defined, I think the characteristics you came up with look reasonable - though some will struggle with definitions of a few of them.

- Dan

[remiel6]

The problem is your still only coming up with numbers based on the people who are in the forum. Is this a random sample of people who marry women younger than them? I doubt it, you have to consider the logical possibility that it may only be a cross section of people whose marriages did not work. Which brings another question. Is the only marker of a good successful marriage one that ended in death of one of the partners and not divorce. This seems a rather harsh place to put that line, but where else is there? The studies I have read indicated the divorce rate in marriages, defined in the study as over 6.9 years, with this large age gap was no greater than any other marriage group. It also seemed to indicate the problems were maturity levels, which are certainly attached to age, but not always. Also maturity levels change. I think it was Ken who pointed to the children factor. A woman who does not want kids can change her mind on this. Is this an age related break down? Some would say yes. I would say this is something that has to do with priorities and values changing. This could happen at any age and with any age gap. I witnessed the disolving of a lot of couples over the issue of children and having children regardless of how old they were and how many years apart they are. He would say this is an age issue, I would say its my example of age not being the cause, but something else being the cause that may be related to age, but if the issue had been resolved differently would the outcome have been the same? I don't know I wasn't there, to state the obvious.

[KenC]

remiel6,
Excellant points made regarding children.  However, in our case I believe it was an age related problem and not a shifting of values.  I always did want children, just not at this stage of my life.  But I can see how Lena's change of mind could be interpreted as a shifting of values though.

I also find it interesting that age gap divorces over 6.9 years were no different than others.  What was their definition of large age difference marriages?

Where do you suggest the line be drawn to signify a "successful" marriage?
KenC

[BC]

Prolly ought to start with a definition of what constitutes an "age-gap marriage."

Should we draw the datum at 15+ years - or 10+ years - or 20+ years? Most would probably agree with 20+ years qualifying. And many would probably conclude that 10 years would not. So then it becomes determination of where we draw the line.

My vote (for simplicity) would be 15+ years qualifies as an "age-gap marriage." Others may cast votes for a different demarcation point.

Once THAT is defined, I think the characteristics you came up with look reasonable - though some will struggle with definitions of a few of them.

- Dan

My vote is that 7 to 10 years counts as an age disparate marriage, 10+ to 18 as age-gap and beyond that inter-generational.

Deep down, once you get to age gap marriages (exacerbated by dependency issues inherent with AM/FSU relationships) you're not really looking at a marriage of equals/peers but instead adding hefty doses of parent/child aspects as the gap grows.  Believe it or not this may be a bit normal..  The concept of marriage does seem to re-establish a form of 'childhood' that includes provider roles with physical and emotional security components.  Get into the inter-generational area and one is surely looking at a predominately parent/child relationship.  - After all, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and even looks like a duck, chances are that's exactly what it is.

I get the feeling that those with experience in age-gap/inter-generational marriages are generally the first that attempt to deter those actively seeking marriage with a much younger partner..  I wonder why...  well.. I know why but very few want to listen. 

I think I am going to change my 'tune' a bit and begin encouraging those that seek... direct experience is after all the most effective teacher and if they're lucky they will get over it quickly and have time to move on with more realistic relationships.  I give up fighting those on the endorphin trip..  never had much success beating sense into someone that is intoxicated anyway.

[ScottinCrimea]

Wow, this thread is hard to keep up with...

First I want to address vwrw's comment that I don't have the esperience to justify commenting on the subject.  I understand that she might be a bit irked that I have revealed her game plan, but beyond that, I have spent significant time in an age gap relationship and have been on these boards long enough to have seen the comings and goings of several such relationships.

Let's look at the two sides of this debate.  On the one side, those who say an age gap is an issue are those who have actually experienced it and seen the issues first hand.  On the other side are those who have yet to marry or who are newly into the experience but seem to claim expertise based on anecdotes or the idea that they are "truly in love" or unique in some other aspect.

Someone commented that I didn't see what was coming and was blindsided.  That is not entirely true.  I saw it but chose to ignore it and hope it would go away.  KenC says the same thing.  The issues were evident but carefully avoided until it was no longer possible.  With him it took 10 years, with me 6.

Some here have tried to claim that it was not the age gap that caused the problems, but rather it was other issues that were blamed on the age gap.  Let’s look at the most common reasons for failure of a marriage and see how the age gap applies:

Children:   For the older man, typically he has already raised his children and is now either unwilling or incapable of having more.  While I love my kids and enjoyed every moment of raising them, at my age the idea of a new baby in the house doesn’t exactly thrill me.  Still, I was open to the idea.  Unfortunately, my wife had a series of miscarriages that depressed and discouraged her.  The hormonal swings definitely played havoc with our marriage.   In fact, at the time we separated, she was just recovering from her most recent miscarriage. On the other hand, a woman in her 20’s, with at most one child, still has the craving and the energy for more.  You look at those here with age gaps that have a long marriage, such as Krimster, and invariably they have had a child together.  Lena said at first she didn’t want children, but this changed.  Unfortunately, KenC was at that stage of life where this had no appeal for him.  He had moved on to a different stage of life.

Finances:  This is not about “having enough” versus “not having enough”, this is about the expectations at different stages of life.  I think this is where my own marriage suffered the most.  My wife is in her mid thirties, still in that ‘upwardly mobile” phase where it’s all about growing your career, getting the bigger house and the better car, etc.  When I was her age, I felt the same way. At my stage now, though,  I have built my career and my house and car are just fine.  I have worked hard all my life and now I want to enjoy the fruits of my labor.  She saw this as being lazy and unambitious.  If she had seen me 15 years ago, she never would have questioned my ambition.  The issue was not finances, it was expectations based on different stages of life.

Sex:  Of course this is new and exciting with a woman much younger than you, but at some point the excitement of “new” fades and you settle into what is comfortable.  Now a woman in her mid thirties is hitting the peak of her sexuality while with any man older than 18, it is waning.  It’s basic physiology.  After the initial honeymoon period, his lack of desire on a level equal to her expectations based on the dating phase comes across to her as a lack of attractiveness on her part.  Most women in their thirties are already dealing with the demon of aging and the effects on their bodies, and this perceived lack of interest by their husbands worsens the blow.  Of course Viagra can delay this, but ultimately, the idea that their husband needs a pill to be aroused by them plays havoc on their egos.  These are different physiological and psychological stages.  It’s a “stage of life” issue that some might blame on character traits, not an age difference

Lack of communication:  While lack of a common language can have a real impact, most seem to find a way to communicate on a superficial level. Now in the early stages, there is much new and exciting to talk about, but as a couple settles into real life. The commonalities change.  Beyond the differences in cultural experiences, there are the differences in what interests a person in various stages of one’s life.  As an extreme example, try talking to a 13 year old girl. What you both want to talk about will bore the other to tears, no matter how interesting it is for one of you.  You both see the world through different glasses based on experience and the stage of life that you are in.  With a significant age gap you have experienced different music, different social norms, different politics, a different experience in growing up, etc.  Now if you have a child together, your conversations can focus on your mutual child, but then there can come the disagreements on how to raise him/her based on your own individual experiences as a child.

Social life:  A younger wife may still be interested in high energy activities such as nightclubs.  A more mature man will have already gone through that phase and prefer quieter things such as museums or operas or quiet nights at home that will bore the average 20 something to tears. Of course on his trips to the FSU, the man will enjoy the active nightlife, but at home in real life this doesn’t hold much of an attraction for him.  The RW comes to the US expecting a continuation of the active nightlife they had in her country and is disillusioned when she finds that the man actually has to work and doesn’t have the energy level she saw on his visits to her.  His friends are of his age and share his ideas; her friends are of her age and share her conflicting views.  Both parties are bored with the social circle of the other. This might be explained as conflicting personalities, but in reality it is the difference in their stage of life.

Some of those on this forum have asked for specific examples of how an age gap relationship can impact a marriage.  I hope this makes it clear for you.  As both KenC and I have expressed, while the superficial issue may be expressed as something else, the underlying issue really ultimately is the age gap, or more specifically the difference in the life stages.

[Ade]

Of course, if, like in my marriage, you and your age-gap woman enjoy doing the same things, have the same interests, can communicate, have the same ideas about kids, have the same expectations about lifestyle, and you are a stud in bed, then there should be no problems.

FWIW though, if I were 10 years older now or she was 10 years younger, I think there'd only be a very slim chance that it would work out over the long term and I would not have even entertained the notion.

[bigdeg]

Hello,
 I have read this whole thread because to me, I can learn a little bit from everyone. Not much bothers me, but this age gap talk does make me think. I am going to see a girl in which we WOULD have a 11.5 yr. age gap. My experience included 6 yrs. in Asia when I was a sailor, so RussianWinds comment subject matter don't worry me. I was married to a AW who was 10 yrs. older that me, we were divorced after 4 yrs. when I was 29. So since I am 39, the next 30+ yrs. don't worry me either.
 What does make me think is something Turboguy brought up. I do think about her feeding me baby-food on my death bed. I don't think about this too much because between now and then...no matter who I end up with...IT'S GOING TO BE A HELL OF A RIDE.

P.S. Thanks for this board...I learn a lot...and nothing sometimes. But it is good to read!
Dale

[Turboguy]

I have not been around the boards as much as most of the experienced guys here, but it's extraordinarily rare that someone admits that an age gap is a problem. TG, can you point to an example or two?

Well, it is not exactly like we have hundreds of age gap train wrecks to draw from but I do appreciate that two of our members have volunteered as examples.  

KenC says it was an age gap issue with him or at least an age related issue.  The way he feels it impacted his marriage was that she began to want children and he was dead set against it.   My observations are that most of the guys KenC's age or older that go looking for a younger RW do so because they want children.  When I was in the looking stage and KenC's age I would have much preferred a woman who either had young children or wanted them.   Simoni is still a fairly young guy but a little older than most new dads and I think he is quite thrilled with his family addition.   My feelings are that KenC's problems with the child issue were not age gap or age related but rather a life choice.  

Scott has sort of skirted around saying that age gap was a problem in his marriage that started to appear a few years into his marriage.   His age gap was not that great by RW-AM standards and it has been a while since I read his story but it to me seemed like it was two people who probably were not right for each other even though Scott bent over backwards to make it work.  Personally, it is only speculation but I doubt that the age difference was much of a factor.

Groove, anyone who puts you on ignore will be missing some of the most logical and well thought out thinking on RWD.   I may not agree with you always but I sure do enjoy your thoughts and ideas and I do often totally agree with you.   As far as your comment that the age difference will create a problem at some point in time I do think that is possible in most cases, maybe all cases but I only get to see one case close up.

There was a comment upthread about the problems that can arise from people being in different life stages.   I believe the example was that she would be moving her career into high gear as he would be going into retirement.   I will just add a comment that VWRW and I have talked about this and we both think that is great.   She loves the idea that if I ever do decide to retire she can spend her days working and I can stay home and play Mr. Mom.   She can come home from a hard day at the office to a nice home cooked meal and a clean house.   Heck, if I ever do decide to retire I will probably be so old that my bones would creak so bad trying to swing a golf club that it would disturb the other golfers so I might as well stay home vacuuming and watching soap operas.  

Bigdeg, I agree about the baby food part.   My mother is 96 and hasn't reached the being spoon fed baby food stage yet but I can't even say I want to be at the point where she is at.   I would probably be quite happy to die in my sleep at 85 but might change my mind about that when I reach 84.

[remiel6]

the study used 6.9 as the number for a significant age gap based solely on the idea that the averare was 3.4 or 3.9 years, I forget which. The average couple has the male at roughly 4 years older than the female. At seven years the numbers start to change. I would agree with the post that suggested 7 - 10 be age disparete and more than 10 be age gap. When looking specifically at the questions of compatability as many have started to post. I think a key is to look at where the members are in thier lives and understand that where they are at in terms of maturity, and wants, and desires, will change over the course of any marriage. If they grow apart and thier needs and wants no longer match can they work thru that or will it fall apart. It had less to do with "age" as matters that typically, but not always relate to age.
As for my definition of a successful marriage. I recall something a friend of mine told me after he got divorced. he had met his spouse in high school, I was there at the time and was 15. He was sixteen. His spouse was sixteen. They divorced when I believe they were 31 or 32. I ran into him at a restaurant after having not seen him for years and he told me they were divorced. He said to me that he was sad it was over, but he had 16 years, most of which were happy. They both changed and grew apart at the end. Does one bad year and a bad ending take away the 15 good ones? I've never been married and have no authority on this, but it made me think. I'm open to debate on how to define a successful marriage, but it seems to me that to say that the only successful marriages are the ones that don't end in divorce might be bit narrow. People change, does that mean the marriage didn't work, or does that mean it no longer served thier needs and they moved on. All that being said. If I'm lucky enough to be with someone long enough to worry about drool then lord I will do what ever I need to do. Isn't that what loved ones are for?

[Sculpto]

This explains a lot.

what does it explain Misha.. that I don't like shallow materialistic people who can not be trusted or taken seriously???  

Oh, I should have also mentioned that a solid 80% of women my age that I know that ARE attractive and ARE NOT shallow materialistic shrews are involved with men at least ten years younger than them (two are with guys in their mid 20s) and most of them live a polyamorous lifestyle to boot.  Not marriage material in any case.  Some pretty cool friends though.  The other 20% are at least once divorced with kids which gives them two strikes that wouldn't be acceptable to me.  Oh, and then there was John's sister who was pretty cute and really into me and didn't have kids or an x husband, except she was a crank addict and couldn't stop shaking and scratching.  

The best woman I ever dated was 40 years old.. when I was 20.  

[Sculpto]

2012,
Then let me be the first.

I am not trying to PROVE anything to you.  Go do whatever floats your boat.  Funny thing is my last post was written before I saw your last few posts and not in response to them.  But it could have been.
KenC

Ken.. did Lena ever once say to you.. "Ken, you are too old"?

[Sculpto]

Think about a guy that is new to this.  He has to be overwhelmed by looking at the profiles.  Does this smokinhotkova of 22 really want a man up to 60?  If we continue to point out the pitfalls of an age gap marriage, it may just adjust some newbies wish list a bit.
KenC

Wouldn't it be better to illuminate new guys to the fact that most of the girls on agency sites are in fact ghosts and that said agency sites are for the most part a scam designed to seperate them from their money?  Miss hottie willing to consider up to 60 is just one facet of how the scam works.