Sex - the other side of the coin.

[Oosik]

Sexual Incompatabilities?

I've found that these women are really interested in making their man happy. I would think that in time, you could talk most of them into giving pretty much anything a try. Unless you are more turned on by the equipment and accessories than the warm flesh of the woman, I'd think you would be pretty darn happy regardless.

I think that just like in real world dating, save the "so are you interested in bungee swings" conversation for after you are on a kissing basis. Look for signs that she may be cold or unwilling to love you, that would tell you the sex will be bad. If she loves you or wants to love you, she'll give you something so good you'll forget about the whips and chains for a while.

For the sex tourists : If you want a whore, get a whore, don't go ruining marriagable RW just to get your freak on.

[Todd]

I prefer phone conversations for highly charged conversations as the possibility of misunderstanding is less.  Really important conversations need to be in person.  It simply isn't a letter writing topic to me.  Also, call me a wee bit paranoid, but you shouldn't be leaving a paper trail like that anyway.  Finally, I have never found sex to be a make or break issue in a relationship where two people care deeply about each other.  However, one of those people is me, and women are usually more flexible anyway.

I think perhaps your goals are a bit different than many others on this site, which to your credit, you are open and honest about.  This difference in goals causes you to be more focused on the physical issues earlier than most others would be.

[Bruno]

For the sex tourists : If you want a whore, get a whore, don't go ruining marriagable RW just to get your freak on.

[Ste]

Personally, as a Brit I find sex abhorrent.

If I have to do it, it has to be fully clothed, in the dark and let's get the unspeakable act over with as quickly as possible.

Frequency? About once a month on a sunday night after my bath.

Fortunately Nadia and her legion of males friends I keep meeting in the bathroom when I get home from work all feel the same....

Ste

[dorogoyroberto]

Personally, as a Brit I find sex abhorrent.

Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

Roberto
Kiev, Ukraine

[aikorob]

Ste:

Sex--the pleasure is momentary; the position ridiculous; and the expense damnedable.  

Attributed to Alfred, Lord Tennyson  

 

[Daknack]

Ste you made me giggle like a schoolgirl.

[Zhena]

"All I wanted to say here-never write about ur sex preferences in the FIRST letter! Write about it,when ull be sure that ure compatible with ur woman mentally at least...If ull write about a sex in ur first letter-a normal woman can be scared. Discuss it later."

Just for discussion sake, what amount of time should the two parties waste on corresponding with each other before they learn of their sexual incompatibilities?

It depends. Some women,as I know,NEVER discussing sex in their letters at all. Yes,its true. I think it should be dicsussed,but a bit later. If u dont gonna meet soon-then ull have a chance to check. If not,then,maybe after 5th letter,for example-but as I said,it depends:) Presonally me never had write the letters-I chatted. I think this is the best way to understand a compatibility and is it interesting with this person or not. Thanks God,I have my comp at home!

[Zhena]

Personally, as a Brit I find sex abhorrent.

If I have to do it, it has to be fully clothed, in the dark and let's get the unspeakable act over with as quickly as possible.

Frequency? About once a month on a sunday night after my bath.

Fortunately Nadia and her legion of males friends I keep meeting in the bathroom when I get home from work all feel the same....

Ste

`how I like brit sense of humour!:D

[Jack]

a fiancee, I will agree with you in that there are many ladies who will never discuss sex in a letter with a man they have never met.

[Oosik]

Jack, when you see questions like this, do you think "sex tourist" or "guy who has been alone so long his priorities are out of whack"?

[Admin]

Jack, when you see questions like this, do you think "sex tourist" or "guy who has been alone so long his priorities are out of whack"?

Jack provided something of an answer upthread a bit - but, you really ought to ask him the question on a more open-ended basis. The way you posed the question, seems to have only two possible answer - yet, I submit, there is a huge range of possible answers.

- Dan

[Oosik]

Sometimes throwing out a "straw man" is a good way to provoke a detailed response.

[Jack]

Hey Oosik, hope you are doing well, hope you are moving slowly and cautiously.

Oosik, not sure I understand the question.  Ask it again in a different way if you can.

[Albert]

Quite interesting.  In letters guys and gals discuss their preferences in music, art, food, vacations, hobbies, and dozens of other topics.  Most likely none of these topics and differences in tastes cause breakdowns of relationships and later marriages.  However, differences in sexual preferences, desires, etc. and general sexual incompatibilities, is one of the leading causes of marriage problems and future divorce.

So it seems entirely logical to discuss issues that do not make or break a relationship, but yet avoid like the plague an issue that can make or break a relationship.

And, it seems some posters are a bit confused here and need some reading lessons.  I did not bring up the concept of BDSM, have never partaken of such and have no desire to.  Although a few gals have asked me to give them a hearty slap on the @ss.

[Admin]

Quite interesting. In letters guys and gals discuss their preferences in music, art, food, vacations, hobbies, and dozens of other topics. Most likely none of these topics and differences in tastes cause breakdowns of relationships and later marriages. However, differences in sexual preferences, desires, etc. and general sexual incompatibilities, is one of the leading causes of marriage problems and future divorce.

So it seems entirely logical to discuss issues that do not make or break a relationship, but yet avoid like the plague an issue that can make or break a relationship.

And, it seems some posters are a bit confused here and need some reading lessons. I did not bring up the concept of BDSM, have never partaken of such and have no desire to. Although a few gals have asked me to give them a hearty slap on the @ss.

I have always heard that good sex, as a single consideration, cannot MAKE a good marriage - but bad sex, as a single consideration, can certainly cause a marriage to fail.

Fortunately, I don't have to face that issue  

- Dan

[Oosik]

Jack, NVR mind.

I'd say an emotionally healthy R/UW is going to give an emotionally healthy AM if not the best sex of his life, it'll be darn close to it. I suppose part of it is the joy of having a woman 10+ years younger than you are used to, but the attitude of "I love you, of course I want to give you all" is pretty darn priceless. Plus the ones that I have spoken to (or more) really like for a man to be stong, and a bit dominant in bed. If my finace tends to be vanilla after marriage, I won't cry too much over it. But I've already had vanilla with sprinkes and whipped cream (metaphoricly speaking) so I know that won't be the case. I've been more than casual conversation partners with 1RW and 2UW and I can say I have no worry, and unless you are a total freak you will be fine.

If you are a total freak, and find that a woman unwilling to do the full-up leather and whips thing unlovable, than you may as well find you a western hosebag, plenty of women here who put wild sex above everything else.

[Jack]

Albert I know it does not come as a surprise to you in that you and I do some things differently. I gather you openly discuss things of a sexual nature with a woman you are writing whom you have never met. No problem, it is your style, your preferred way.  I would never discuss things of a sexual nature in letters or phone conversations with a woman I had not met yet. With most ladies that I have corresponded with if I were to start discussing things of a sexual nature I think 8 out of 10 ladies would stop corresponding with me.  Now it is true that were not comparing apples to apples in that your writing older ladies than I and maybe these older ladies are a little more open to the idea of discussing sex with a man they have not met.
 
Oosik I would have to say that your quote "I'd say an emotionally healthy R/UW is going to give an emotionally healthy AM if not the best sex of his life, it'll be darn close to it" is pretty accurate.
 
It is my opinion that due to many factors, of which regional conflict, alcoholism, hard and harsh working conditions and  a political regime (Stalin's), have all played a major role in that their are fewer men than women in Russia. 2 to 1, 3 to 1, that's just agency hogwash. But 1.3 to 1, then that's a little more believable to me. Great-grand mothers, grand-mothers and mom's have passed it down to their daughters for generations that "you must please your man". Russian women have been taught from an early age to please their man and so many of them do. With fewer men available these ladies had to try extra hard to keep their man around. To me their is a BIG difference in the sexuality and the desire to please their men between American and Russian/Ukraine women.

[Bruno]

It is my opinion that due to many factors, of which regional conflict, alcoholism, hard and harsh working conditions and  a political regime (Stalin's), have all played a major role in that their are fewer men than women in Russia. 2 to 1, 3 to 1, that's just agency hogwash. But 1.3 to 1, then that's a little more believable to me.

Take a look at the graph below :



From 15 year old to 39 year old, the amount of women is almost the same that men...

I don't think that a lot of foreign men search to marry women older that 39 year old... so, these difference between men and woman virtually don't exist in the case of foreign marriage...

Of course, if you have some old men ( more that 70 year old ), they have two time more women for choice in the same age range...

These big difference at old age is mainly due to the difference of life experency between men and women in FSU... 58 year old for men and 73 for women...

Again some myth over Russia

[Oosik]

Bruno, please read this carefully:

Statistics for the country as a whole fail to show the localized anomalities that we all know exist in particular cities.

When you use national numbers to say that no "Cities of Brides" exist it makes you look pretty foolish, and it annoys the rest of us.

[Admin]

Bruno, please read this carefully:

Statistics for the country as a whole fail to show the localized anomalities that we all know exist in particular cities.

When you use national numbers to say that no "Cities of Brides" exist it makes you look pretty foolish, and it annoys the rest of us.

And on the other side of the coin - mis-statement of stats which are unsupported and unsubstantiated, except in the *opinions* of a few - are equally annoying.

Oosik - did you read my post from a week or so about anonymous (pseudonym) posts containing annoying content??

:cool:

- Dan

[Oosik]

I am using my regular name, and I was using Bruno's numbers for the 1.3:1 ratio for the city in question at the time (Chernigov). I have no idea what you are talking about, I am just trying to get Bruno to stop posting national numbers to explain away the realities in various cities.

PS I'll take the opinion of my Ukraine fiance on the circumstances in her own city over anything that any of you have to say about it. Quite frankly for folks here to discount the personal experiences of several wives and fiance's of board members is bordering on arrogance. Maybe those of you that swear the women some of us know and love are wrong about their home towns would care to give me a lesson on Alaskan Native village life as well?

[Admin]

I am using my regular name, and I was using Bruno's numbers for the 1.3:1 ratio for the city in question at the time (Chernigov). I have no idea what you are talking about, I am just trying to get Bruno to stop posting national numbers to explain away the realities in various cities.

PS I'll take the opinion of my Ukraine fiance on the circumstances in her own city over anything that any of you have to say about it. Quite frankly for folks here to discount the personal experiences of several wives and fiance's of board members is bordering on arrogance. Maybe those of you that swear the women some of us know and love are wrong about their home towns would care to give me a lesson on Alaskan Native village life as well?

Oosik, there are loads of propaganda circulated in the FSU - some by agencies - some by the babushka network (old wive's tales) - and still others by people who are looking for excuses or rationale.

Olya cited some pretty outrageous 'statistics' when we first met - and I knew she was misinformed. It didn't mean much - other than the simple fact that the girls themselves find it easier, sometimes, to explain their decisions if they can externalize some of the factors to make their decisions seem more rational and understandable.

Candidly, it is kind of like some of the silly statements I see here about WM being universally better lovers that RM - though the RW are all somehow radically superior to their American counterparts. Both claims are ludicrous.

Just my take on things.

- Dan

[Jack]

Bruno's stats were for Russia. He did not offer anything for Ukraine. The stats Bruno offered are pretty well known by most guys who have been involved in the pursuit for a Russian bride for any length of time.  There is a large number of older women compared to older men in Russia. I thought the average Russian man lived to be 56.4 years of age compared to 73.1 for the Russian women (the largest age difference of men to women dying than any other country in the world) but Bruno may have newer stats that show Russian men living longer, which ofcourse should happen with time as things get better there.
 
The stats for Russia that Bruno showed does show a slight increase in younger women over men with the gap growing starting at about the age of 30. My opinion of about 1.3 women for every man was based on ladies from about 23 to 40.
 
There are regions as oosik might be referring to where the number of women to men is certainly higher, such as the Golden Ring (Yaroslav, Vladmir, Ivanono) where you have a large textile industry, Ivano-Franco in Western Ukraine (the city of brides), the Kharkov region (because of so many universities and ladies staying after graduating). Zapporohye, Kherson, Nikolaev and Krivoy Rog seem to have a larger young female to male population which I think is due to so many young men leaving these regions for better jobs elsewhere.

[Oosik]

... Candidly, it is kind of like some of the silly statements I see here about WM being universally better lovers that RM - though the RW are all somehow radically superior to their American counterparts. Both claims are ludicrous.

Just my take on things.

- Dan

Really. If AM tend to be much more polite and kind than RM, why wouldn't we be better lovers? Maybe all my women lied, but I've been told that I'm pretty dang good by RW/UW.  Of course, AW say the same thing...