Almost-total newbie here ...

[veritas]

But I forgot, pitbull ... You're always right ... And always constructive ....

[veritas]

I guess there's a reason you chose "pitbull" -- and a reason I chose "newkt" ...

My moniker hearkens to a positive, fresh, NEW start -- as it was for me in the year 2000 ...

Kevin

[facetrock]

 Kevin I think you've had enough attention for the day. Go watch TV or something.

[veritas]

Kevin I think you've had enough attention for the day. Go watch TV or something.

I don't watch TV, facetrock ... Not at all

But if you really don't wanna hear from me again on RWD, you won't ...

Unless there are others who DO ... 

Kevin

[Jooky]

All the other drama aside, there's a few things I really don't get.

1) If you're a programmer, why haven't you upgraded your computer in 9 years?

2) If you can't travel, how do you expect to meet women on the other side of the Atlantic?

[veritas]

All the other drama aside, there's a few things I really don't get.

1) If you're a programmer, why haven't you upgraded your computer in 9 years?

2) If you can't travel, how do you expect to meet women on the other side of the Atlantic?

(1) I've got a new, high-end Dell Studio XPS 8100 just "waiting in the wings" to be set up ... (Too much RWD time) ...

(2) I don't ...

Kevin

[BrianW]

Kevin,


I've read about half this thread and have some advice. Keep in mind I am 27 years old and have no training in counseling, therapy or psychiatry 

Do you exercise? My advice to you is to exercise at least an hour a day. I read that you have some physical problems. Are you still able to walk? If so, walk, every day, for 3 miles at least. And walk fast. Make sure to take deep breaths. Can you swim? This can be a great exercise because it is so easy on your joints and is a great work out.

Do you have a pet? If you think you could take care of one properly in your condition, I would suggest you get one. Dog, cat or aquarium could all be good. If you get a dog, you can take it walking with you. And since you don't have a job now, you should have plenty of time to walk. And since you live in Orlando, the weather should be nice for a long time coming.

Do you volunteer? Maybe you could volunteer a couple days a week. You could go to an old folks home and read to them. Or go to a hospital and do anything they need you to do. Or a homeless shelter. Or find an older person in your neighborhood that might have no relatives left living and visit with them.

You have to stop thinking about yourself. Stop thinking about your ex-girlfriend and whatever problems you had there. Stop thinking about your Dad. Your Dad is dead and gone. From what you have written, it sounds like he had mental illness issues. I am sure those contributed to your childhood experiences, but you are most definitely not a child anymore and the time has come to move on. Millions of people have had awful things happen to them. You are not special. Neither am I.

Life is a struggle and can be filled with pain and suffering for many people. At the end of the roller coaster of life, we humans die. That is guaranteed. I think the point of the entire experience is to improve ourselves and to become better people. In order to do that, you have to STOP obsessing about yourself and the bad things that happened to you in the past. The past is over. What happens in the future is up to you. The time is now.

Good luck, friend.

[veritas]

Thanks, Brian ...

Kevin

[veritas]

And frankly I suspect depression is only one if not the least of Kevin's issues. He has a whole range of disorders, physical, psychiatric, sexual, and possibly something within an autism spectrum. As his history reveals, he is completely self-centric and egoistic and is in fact scamming this forum for attention. People like that are UNABLE to form relationships, no matter how much treatment they receive.

He has NO BUSINESS messing up with a woman's life (and as his history shows he has successfully screwed up at least one woman's life).

Kevin, please TAKE YOUR PROFILE off EM and show that you are at least a decent person.

Truce? 

Kevinn

[Shadow]

(1) I've got a new, high-end Dell Studio XPS 8100 just "waiting in the wings" to be set up ... (Too much RWD time) ...

(2) I don't ...

Kevin

I think you would fit the perfect profile customer of Anastasiaweb.
Dreaming of somehting unreachable, and willing to spend small amount of cash for keeping the dream.

[veritas]

I think you would fit the perfect profile customer of Anastasiaweb.
Dreaming of somehting unreachable, and willing to spend small amount of cash for keeping the dream.

Don't get it?

[Shadow]

Don't get it?

Agencies earn the most cash on men who will never travel but spend a small amount of money every month to be able to write to (in some cases non-existant) women.
The large agencies actually prefer such men, known as keyboard Romeo's, over those who do travel and wish to meet, as accumulated over a couple of years it adds up to a nice sum of cash.
Just think, 10.000 men who are unable to travel spend $10 every month, and all you have to do is like DM fill up their mailbox with pictures of beautiful women.=, then hire ten writers to answer the mails with form letters... and nobody can call it a scam as the men are unable to determine if the woman is real or not, and mostly not even have the intention to do so.

[veritas]

Agencies earn the most cash on men who will never travel but spend a small amount of money every month to be able to write to (in some cases non-existant) women.
The large agencies actually prefer such men, known as keyboard Romeo's, over those who do travel and wish to meet, as accumulated over a couple of years it adds up to a nice sum of cash.
Just think, 10.000 men who are unable to travel spend $10 every month, and all you have to do is like DM fill up their mailbox with pictures of beautiful women.=, then hire ten writers to answer the mails with form letters... and nobody can call it a scam as the men are unable to determine if the woman is real or not, and mostly not even have the intention to do so.

Yep, already know this well ...

The reason I'm not traveling is 'cuz I'm not even IN this game anymore -- my EM profile is no longer visible ...

Kevin

[Ranetka]

I know is going to fall on death ears but just in case

In my PERSONAL EXPERIENCE therapy and medications are useless, all they did for me was keeping me in the same place giving illusions of moving on. Constantly looking backwards instead of being "now", keeping me numb instead of experiencing feelings.

What is making me a happy and active person is Zen Bhuddism and partner dancing (which is one of the best way to meditate I know).

Start with reading a book on Zen, you might be surprised.

[veritas]

Thanks, Ranetka ... 

Kevin

[SANDRO43]

What is making me a happy and active person is Zen Bhuddism and partner dancing (which is one of the best way to meditate I know). Start with reading a book on Zen, you might be surprised.

Mu!

Ranetka, I doubt that the inherently 'violent' and rigid nature of Zen Buddhism can be of much help to Kevin in his current conditions . The gentler and more gradual approach of Hatha Yoga (concentration->meditation->contemplation) could be more suitable now .

partner dancing (which is one of the best way to meditate I know).

I'm curious to learn how you can meditate while partner-dancing - if you mean ballroom dancing, this usually takes some concentration to coordinate steps. The only meditation-inducing 'dance' I know of is that of the whirling Sufi Dervishes, whose constant and regular motion is said to promote a trance-like state :

[tim 360]

Just think, 10.000 men who are unable to travel spend $10 every month, and all you have to do is like DM fill up their mailbox with pictures of beautiful women.=, then hire ten writers to answer the mails with form letters... and nobody can call it a scam as the men are unable to determine if the woman is real or not, and mostly not even have the intention to do so.

Not a scam since all the guy is doing is buying his personal fantasy ride.  As devil's advocate I would say the agencies are actually performing a service by fulfilling a guys personal fantasy.  But Shadow, I think there are tens of thousands of guys worldwide who indulge in their little fantasy and some begin to believe it is reality. :evil:

[Ranetka]

Mu!

Ranetka, I doubt that the inherently 'violent' and rigid nature of Zen Buddhism can be of much help to Kevin in his current conditions . The gentler and more gradual approach of Hatha Yoga (concentration->meditation->contemplation) could be more suitable now .
I'm curious to learn how you can meditate while partner-dancing - if you mean ballroom dancing, this usually takes some concentration to coordinate steps. The only meditation-inducing 'dance' I know of is that of the whirling Sufi Dervishes, whose constant and regular motion is said to promote a trance-like state :

I did not find the nature of Zen violent or rigid. The essential idea is - one is perfectly fine like he is. There is nothing to change, nothing to improve, observe who you really are and do not beleive anything you used to think about yourself.

I jive. It's a partner led dance. When I follow I do not think. I listen to the music, breath and concentrate fully on my partner, otherwise I can not follow. This makes perfect no-thinking dreaming state which is meditation.

[Ranetka]

the difference to a ballroom is modern jive is not a routine, in a freestyle I have no idea of what's coming next

[Daveman]

I did not find the nature of Zen violent or rigid. The essential idea is - one is perfectly fine like he is. There is nothing to change, nothing to improve, observe who you really are and do not beleive anything you used to think about yourself.

That, in itself, is indeed a change.  What many people miss about therapy (including many professionals, unfortunately) is that change comes solely from within one's self. The change is not in becoming someone different, though that is possible under certain circumstances, but rather arriving at acceptance of one's self. A change in beliefs about one's self, for example-- changing from "I can't" to "I can".. or "I am bad", to simply "I am, and it's not only okay, but pretty damn cool".

One primary reason I left the field some years ago is due to the facts of the insurance company interference as well as the over prescribing of medications (which should ONLY be used in extreme cases IMO)... Therapy itself is nothing more than a relationship of trust, and building upon that an "openness" between two people where one happens to be a therapist, the other a client, creating a safe place for one to explore possibilities and, in one's own time frame, to realize, understand, see, and accept the true value and absolute worth in and of one's self. 

All kinds of therapy work, and conversely, all therapy doesn't work, but when they do work the change of perception and/or belief system always comes from within the individual and not from without.

yes, this is an oversimplification of the therapeutic process, but a darn decent summation.  There's no magic bullet nor magic "pill". We are responsible for how we *perceive* ourselves and the world around us... sometimes those perceptions thwart us from the path we would like to take. Therein lies the "change" of therapy. Perceptions and beliefs.

Almost anything can be therapeutic if it lends a less conflicted belief system about one's self and surroundings.

[veritas]

That, in itself, is indeed a change.  What many people miss about therapy (including many professionals, unfortunately) is that change comes solely from within one's self. The change is not in becoming someone different, though that is possible under certain circumstances, but rather arriving at acceptance of one's self. A change in beliefs about one's self, for example-- changing from "I can't" to "I can".. or "I am bad", to simply "I am, and it's not only okay, but pretty damn cool".

One primary reason I left the field some years ago is due to the facts of the insurance company interference as well as the over prescribing of medications (which should ONLY be used in extreme cases IMO)... Therapy itself is nothing more than a relationship of trust, and building upon that an "openness" between two people where one happens to be a therapist, the other a client, creating a safe place for one to explore possibilities and, in one's own time frame, to realize, understand, see, and accept the true value and absolute worth in and of one's self. 

All kinds of therapy work, and conversely, all therapy doesn't work, but when they do work the change of perception and/or belief system always comes from within the individual and not from without.

yes, this is an oversimplification of the therapeutic process, but a darn decent summation.  There's no magic bullet nor magic "pill". We are responsible for how we *perceive* ourselves and the world around us... sometimes those perceptions thwart us from the path we would like to take. Therein lies the "change" of therapy. Perceptions and beliefs.

Almost anything can be therapeutic if it lends a less conflicted belief system about one's self and surroundings.

What's "extreme"?  (Otherwise agree) ...

Kevin

[Daveman]

What's "extreme"?  (Otherwise agree) ...

Kevin

well I looked under "Extreme Case Psychotherapy" and found this!

[veritas]

Do you want the 300x400 version? 

Kevin

[Gator]

well I looked under "Extreme Case Psychotherapy" and found this!

 

Dave,  I did not know you were in the profession.  Very interesting fact.

Are you sure you left the field becaue of insurance interference?  Or was it because you made fun of your patients? 

Kevin, it is good that you can laugh at yourself.

[GQBlues]

All kinds of therapy work, and conversely, all therapy doesn't work, but when they do work the change of perception and/or belief system always comes from within the individual and not from without. 

So what do you think the chances of Kevin getting back up to full speed if he consulted with doctorlove and his interpreter/s? 

Or will that be hugely counter-productive?