Almost-total newbie here ...

[Olga_Mouse]

No, no, OlgaMouse, I'm perfectly fine with that situation ...

Considering my basic joke was lost on you, may I come to the conclusion that here in Russia we have been taught a different version of it?

I actually liked IF \ GO TO line; always had a feeling that in certain countries (e.g. Germany) kids don't got to schools to learn something - but to get programmed instead    So once they face a situation which is not listed in their IF's, they don't know whether to GO TO... and are completely lost  

I actually APPRECIATE the lack of "paranoia about pearly white perfect gnashers" (what GREAT English!)

Yeah, I also thought my English is passable... before I came to London and realised that I don't understand a word of what that big black lady from Immigration at Heathrow airport is asking me!  

[veritas]

Considering my basic joke was lost on you, may I come to the conclusion that here in Russia we have been taught a different version of it?

I actually liked IF \ GO TO line; always had a feeling that in certain countries (e.g. Germany) kids don't got to schools to learn something - but to get programmed instead    So once they face a situation which is not listed in their IF's, they don't know whether to GO TO... and are completely lost  

D'OH!!!  (Homer Simpson)  And I'm a computer PROGRAMMER, too!     But BASIC was a long, long time ago ...

Perhaps if you'd written "GOTO" and capitalized all the keywords, then MAYBE I would've gotten it ... 

Very clever, though, I must say! 

Kevin

P.S.  Is Germany really like that?  Which other countries would you say fall into that category?

Yeah, I also thought my English is passable... before I came to London and realised that I don't understand a word of what that big black lady from Immigration at Heathrow airport is asking me!  

Was she an African-AMERICAN, an "African-ANGLICAN", or just plain AFRICAN?

[SANDRO43]

ok I am gonna post one photo.. for 24 hours..

Are they dancing rock/boogie? The fellow in jeans at right is about to twirl his partner.

[Sculpto]

Kevin..

Being timid is not really a trait I have found many Russian ladies to admire.  That said.. its a HUGE country and there is probably someone for everyone.

The reason I suggested you look into the PUA thing is that such knowledge can prove transformational for some men.  And the real lesson of all that mumbo jumbo deals with the laws of attraction.  There is nothing wrong with using every tool there is to find the best match for yourself.

If you are not comfortable getting out of your umm.. comfort zone.. (double whatever) you should really consider if international dating is right for you.  A lot of this stuff is really uncomfortable and emotionally challenging.  Maybe I am overstepping my knowledge and experience to say so.. but.. its really not for the timid.

That said.. the FSU is a very very very social place.  I recall one time when I was alone sitting not far from Lenin and the locals noticed I was alone and would have none of it.. I was absorbed into their group and once they realized I was foreign treated with a great degree of respect and honor. 

So.. I still say Kevin.. try something different.. you might be surprised how it works out.  With that said.. given your admission of timidity.. I would doubly advise against chasing superhotkova type women.  They really will eat you alive and none of us want to have to do an emergency rescue for the durak amerkanski (sp) standing naked in the freezing cold. 

[Sculpto]

Are they dancing rock/boogie? The fellow in jeans at right is about to twirl his partner.

As I remember Sandro on this side of the Rostral Column they were dancing tango or something similar and on the other side that you can't see they had cuban salsa going.  But.. I don't remember for sure.  BTW.. that photo was taken about 11:30 pm.  St P is REALLY far north.    The group at large was quite good and must have been part of a club or dance school or something like that.

[veritas]

I would doubly advise against chasing superhotkova type women.  They really will eat you alive and none of us want to have to do an emergency rescue for the durak amerkanski (sp) standing naked in the freezing cold. 

Doubly thanks, Sculpto ... I'm not trying to do that ... I know better now ... 

And as for the REST of what you wrote?  Well, I'm really at a loss for words -- for ONCE ... 

Kevin

[Sculpto]

Short story Kevin..

On my first trip to Ukraine on the second or third night I ran into a girl I had met the day before.  She was hanging out in the center square with some friends.  One of the guys took a particular interest in my and as things progressed.. he asked me..

"How much are you paying for your apartment?"

Now thats a loaded question isn't it?  On the one hand.. he might be sizing me up to see if I am a "mark" and I could be putting myself at great risk by answering him.  If he gets some idea I could easily end up with a bump on my head and my apartment cleaned out.

On the other hand.. he might just be curious what foreign people pay for apartments.

What to do? WHAT TO DO???!?!?!?!

So.. Kevin.. what would you do?

(I will finish the story)

[veritas]

Well, Sculpto, I'd probably just TELL him ... Because I'm naturally very TRUSTING --
unless I think that I have a REALLY GOOD REASON not to be ... I don't think that
I'd suspect anything in this case -- but maybe I'm just naive ...

Kevin

[Sculpto]

Well, Sculpto, I'd probably just TELL him ... Because I'm naturally very TRUSTING --
unless I think that I have a REALLY GOOD REASON not to be ... I don't think that
I'd suspect anything in this case -- but maybe I'm just naive ...

Kevin

Wow.. you are naive!   

Well.. I assessed the situation and decided to go ahead and tell him.. he was pretty big but I figured unless he showed up with a couple buddies I could handle him.. and.. I know how to be slippery and I never EVER went straight home anyway so if someone was going to follow me they were gonna get bored and likely confused...

So anyway.. I told him.. and he was shocked how much it cost.. $65 a night.. and vowed to help me find a cheaper place because according to him I was being ripped off.. well.. it took a couple days but he did find me a better place that cost $200 for 3 weeks.. and he became a great friend and still is to this day almost 5 years later.

But again.. your trusting nature is likely to get you in trouble in the FSU.  There are all kinds of sharks that will try and take your money promising you many glorious things.  I would advise you to hook up with someone who has made multiple trips who will not mind helping you out on a first trip, but, who is not in the "business" and has no financial incentives connected to your quest... and keeping your search to one geographical area to make it easier to coordinate that kind of scenario.  I know meeting up with two buddies from the forum made my last trip vastly more enjoyable and going to the cafe every day with them became a habit I miss.

[veritas]

Wow.. you are naive!   

Really?   Perhaps you're right ... Check out my profile on EM:

http://www.elenasmodels.com/index.php?ap=1959829

But again.. your trusting nature is likely to get you in trouble in the FSU.

No doubt, from what you say ... Thanks for the "buddy up" advice ...

Kevin

[ECOCKS]

Well newkt, if you're looking in the 33+ range you will probably do pretty well.

If you want profile advice, I'd add on some more about the type of woman, relationship and family you are looking for though. Your profile is 95% about you and very little about what you seek or expect. Express a bit more about what you hope she will be like and what things you feel you will do together in whatever successful relationship you build. A word on how you feel about her having children already or whether you want any in the future might be helpful as well. You have several more characters left in the description space there.

Have fun!

[Sculpto]

I agree with ecocks about your profile.  I would also suggest taking out the comment about your 4.0 gpa because first no one will know what that means and second its really silly.. smart people can be real stupid.. ya know what I mean?   

[ECOCKS]

I was mixed on the GPA comment. [Some] Russians still set store by the whole Red vs. Blue diploma and gold medals and all. Also, maybe it says something about your personality. Leave it or pull it but say something about the woman instead of being totally centered on yourself.

You're looking for love, not searching for a job.

[veritas]

I agree with ecocks about your profile.  I would also suggest taking out the comment about your 4.0 gpa because first no one will know what that means and second its really silly.. smart people can be real stupid.. ya know what I mean?   

Yeah, Sculpto, I sure do ... After all, YOU spent $1400 on HRB ... JOKING!!! 

Seriously, though ... Thanks, Sculpto and ECOCKS, for the EM profile advice ...
And I think Sculpto's probably right about RW not even "getting" the "4.0 GPA"?   

Kevin

[Olga_Mouse]

I was mixed on the GPA comment.

I have no idea what that means...   You really think that many Russian women actually DO? Or you want to test their desire to do the Google search to understand what you're writing about?

Also, maybe it says something about your personality.
Leave it or pull it but say something about the woman instead of being totally centered on yourself.

I would remove the double mentioning of Disney world. Coming from a 46 y.o. man, that can make one think he's looking for a mommy who won't only help him to find matching socks, but will also change his diapers twice a day, and will give him a tit whenever he cries. However usually a woman planning to move abroad is looking for a serious man who can take care of her!

"My ideal relationship is one of fun, fidelity, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion, communication, and physical/emotional intimacy" - nice system of values, where the fun leads... while love, respect and mutual support are not even mentionned. Kevin, have you figured out what type of women such a profile might possibly attract? I guess on the forums they usually are labeled "good time girls"  

[OlgaH]

Talking about Disney World my husband and I spent a few weeks enjoying the parks and shows and having fun. The Osborne family spectacle of dancing lights is really amazing. We also love Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios, Discovery Cove and See World are our favorite places as well. Pirates Dinner Adventure also was a fun and there are many many other good places to visit and fun things to do for a wonderful vacation in Orlando.

[Gator]

However usually a woman planning to move abroad is looking for a serious man who can take care of her!

Exactly, for multiple reasons.  Two key reasons:

1.  All FSUW know that adjusting to a new country and getting a decent job is a slow, long process.  They will depend on their man for a long time.  So a man must be able and be willing to take care of his woman.

2.  Several FSUW have told me how their FSU husband squandered family money on gambling, drinking, bad business deals, other women.

There are plenty of not so serious men she could marry in the FSU.

"My ideal relationship is one of fun, fidelity, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion, communication, and physical/emotional intimacy" - nice system of values, where the fun leads... while love, respect and mutual support are not even mentionned. Kevin, have you figured out what type of women such a profile might possibly attract? I guess on the forums they usually are labeled "good time girls" 

Olga is smart and articulate.  Yet, her perspective of Newt's simple words are far different than his perspective.  An example of the misunderstandings that occur in intercultural dating.  It can happen even when two people may be expressing the same idea or concept.  It is important when communicating to assure the other person is not misinterpreting what you just said. 

[Gator]

Newkt,

Your personal message is gobbledygook.   It is nothing more than an expanded list about you, you, you, you, you.

Make it shorter, and say what you will do for her.  Give her exactly what she seeks in a man from the Western world.

[veritas]

I have no idea what that means...   You really think that many Russian women actually DO? Or you want to test their desire to do the Google search to understand what you're writing about?

Well, OlgaMouse, coming from a RW such as yourself, I guess that pretty much solidifies it ...
RW just wouldn't "get it", so I'll take that out ...

I would remove the double mentioning of Disney world. When written by a man who is 46 y.o., that makes me think he's looking for a mommy who won't only help him to find matching socks, but will also change his diapers twice a day, and will give him a tit whenever he cries.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm ... Well, a bit of "tit" action would be nice, for sure -- but not THAT kind ...  

So I'll take out the double ref to Disney, keeping it in the context of Orlando as the "#1 tourist destination" ...

"My ideal relationship is one of fun, " fidelity, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion, communication, and physical/emotional intimacy" - nice system of values, where the fun leads... while love, respect and mutual support are not even mentionned. Kevin, have you figured out what type of women such a profile might possibly attract? I guess on the forums they usually are labeled "good time girls"  

So crucify me because I mentioned the word "fun"??  All RIGHT already, I'll take THAT out, TOO ...  

But REALLY now, is there ANYTHING other than the word "fun" that would attract "good-time girls" to ME???  
I REALLY don't THINK so!!!     I can pretty much GUARANTEE ya that the "good-time girls" won't go for ME!!!  

Yes, I could have -- and SHOULD have -- spoken of "love, respect, and mutual support",
because those are also part of my "core belief system" ... So, my bad there ....  

But don't ya think that "fidelity, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion, communication,
and physical/emotional intimacy" -- as well as OTHERS in my profile -- are pretty solid
values to have?  *I* certainly think so ...  

And BTW, I'm not finding AT ALL so far that "good-time girls" are attracted to my profile -- unfortunately ...  

Your personal message is gobbledygook.   It is nothing more than an expanded list about you, you, you, you, you.

Make it shorter, and say what you will do for her.  Give her exactly what she seeks in a man from the Western world.

Thanks, Gator ... Others in this thread have agreed with you, and therefore so must *I* ...

Kevin

[OlgaH]

"My ideal relationship is one of fun, fidelity, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion, communication, and physical/emotional intimacy" - nice system of values, where the fun leads... while love, respect and mutual support  are not even mentionned. Kevin, have you figured out what type of women such a profile might possibly attract? I guess on the forums they usually are labeled "good time girls"

Understandable, that love along with respect and desire for mutual support for the rest of your life has its beginning with simple things in the developing relationship:  enjoying your time together, enjoying each other through communication and yes emotionally and physically. There no love will take its roots without fidelity, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion. Fun to be together even when you have arguments and after arguments is also important.  

Newkt, but maybe it is good idea to simplify your "message", though it depends on what person you are looking for. I guess who would understand you.  

[veritas]

Talking about Disney World my husband and I spent a few weeks enjoying the parks and shows and having fun. The Osborne family spectacle of dancing lights is really amazing. We also love Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios, Discovery Cove and See World are our favorite places as well. Pirates Dinner Adventure also was a fun and there are many many other good places to visit and fun things to do for a wonderful vacation in Orlando.

Hence, my mention of Orlando being the "#1 tourist destination" ... I've been to (most of) those places as well ...

But I don't want RW to think of Orlando as JUST a "wonderful vacation"? 

Understandable, that love along with respect and desire for mutual support for the rest of your life has its beginning with simple things in the developing relationship:  enjoying your time together, enjoying each other through communication and yes emotionally and physically. There no love will take its roots without fidelity, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion. Fun to be together even when you have arguments and after arguments is also important. 

Newkt, but maybe it is good idea to simplify your "message", though it depends on what person you are looking for. I guess who would understand you. 

Thanks, OlgaH ... BTW, the replies here are suddenly coming in faster than *I* can reply to them ...

Kevin

[OlgaH]

But I don't want RW to think of Orlando as JUST a "wonderful vacation"?  
Kevin

so, just don't make it to look like a "wonderful vacation" and I would never advise to do so 

[ECOCKS]

On EM you will get some messages from women. Turn on your radar and filter them as to their motivation. Take a good look at the gal and assess whether she's serious or just a player. You'll get both kinds, in varying quantities, based upon your profile and your responses. Ignore the ones that should be ignored and respond to the ones who seem to have substance and present themselves with a realistic touch.

If you're filtering based on cleavage and that suggestion of "something" almost in the picture or not comparing the reality of the woman to what she says she wishes then you need a radar tuneup. Write an honest profile, read the Commandments, exercise caution and look for the type of woman YOU need in your life.

[veritas]

On EM you will get some messages from women. Turn on your radar and filter them as to their motivation. Take a good look at the gal and assess whether she's serious or just a player. You'll get both kinds, in varying quantities, based upon your profile and your responses. Ignore the ones that should be ignored and respond to the ones who seem to have substance and present themselves with a realistic touch.

If you're filtering based on cleavage and that suggestion of "something" almost in the picture or not comparing the reality of the woman to what she says she wishes then you need a radar tuneup. Write an honest profile, read the Commandments, exercise caution and look for the type of woman YOU need in your life.

Thanks, ECOCKS ... There haven't been any "cleavage girls" or "good-time girls" responding to MY profile on EM ...

Kevin

P.S.  Since you "moved" your reply out of Lana's intro thread, so did I ...

[veritas]

FWIW ...

For the benefit of (new) readers of this thread, here's what my EM profile said BEFORE I started making changes:

Personality   

NICE, kind, honest, loyal, generous, caring, compassionate, sympathetic, empathetic, intelligent
(4.0 GPA with a Bachelor's degree in computer science) ...

Interests

Disney World, 12-string guitar, digital photography, computers, walking, reading, bowling, billiards ...

Personal message

...
My ideal relationship is one of fun, fidelity, loyalty, honesty, kindness, compassion, communication, and physical/emotional intimacy.
...