Hi, I'm Jason

[Patagonie]

Jason, good ending story.
You don't answer me about did she give back some money from the marriage ?  I think i can guess the answer. Not even a cent. I thaugt about this time, just for this i would have gone to Russia, just to collect the resting money not yet expended and confront her with her stupidity.

Now just let me imagine : how many you expense during the courtship in us ?
In russia before pre-marriage ? Till now we can say quite normal to do such thing.

For the marriage ?
After the marriage ?
In my opinion  the total bill is more than 80 k $ easily and i would say more than  half for the marriage and after.

Do you think that being "generous" had been a great component in matter of success ?
What will happen in your opinion when the next man will hit Yana (i don't speak about an agency meeting, just in real life) ?

Where is your anger, who deprives you from your anger Jason in life ? I think this a MAIN question Jason, seriously, why you are never furious ? Do you think that never express disagreement in private life is the way to be happy ?

I think she got the perfect job in accordance with her personality, no ?

[newjason]

wow, I was fine with Jason until he agreed to help this woman to cheat and deceive men. 

As ECOCKS put it,  So much for ethics and principles  Jason.

Now that I re-read my post , I can see how you would think that way.

Jason,
 
Not meaning to be impolite, but I don't understand why you keep in touch and "help" this girl still, after all these years. From your description her character is that of a liar, cheater, scammer and greed. You are enabling her to cheat and hurt other people and I suspect, also yourself.
 
It's your life and your decision of course, but I would have dropped her many years ago if I were in that situation, no matter how beautiful she might be.

Yes that is what I should have done.  But hind sight is always 20/20. 
She was very dear to me, and a very good woman at one time.
That is not what she has become however.
I am not here to make excuses for what I did or did not do.
I started this thread to tell my story.
As I said in my first post, I was too nice to her, and many other things too.
I appreciate your comments

It's "hanging on". One might think either conscientiously or sub-conscientiously he still wants a future with this girl. Very symptomatic of the guys that can't leave the agencies after being bilked for hundreds or thousands. Don't you think?

Jason, I hate to be the bearer of bad news here guy but, what you call a friendship will be seen by most as completely something different. You're being used again, again and again. There is nothing redeeming here. Now you assist her in bilking others? Have you gotten away and cut off completely from this woman yet?

Hanging on, I think I did for too long.  After I told her that she had to help herself, she changed and I was able to see more clearly what she was and what she was doing.  That was more than a year ago.
I have not spoken with her in about 9 months and have had plenty of time to examine this and understand what I went through and why.

Let me be clear: I did not help Yana do anything dis honest. In fact, I tried to talk her out of it.  My morality and sense of wrong and right were put to the test by this girl and I never thought she will really do anything like that.  Yes it's true that I did for a moment consider helping her to write a profile, I just could not do it.


Yes I should have run away long before I did.
But we all know that now.

 

[ML]

This started out as a very nice romantic story.
Then it disintegrated into something not very believable.
While  there will be a lot of sympathy for Jason, in reality he and other men  like him (both AM and RM) makes the FSUW what they are like, and cause the problems for other men.

[Faux Pas]

This started out as a very nice romantic story.
Then it disintegrated into something not very believable.
While  there will be a lot of sympathy for Jason, in reality he and other men  like him (both AM and RM) makes the FSUW what they are like, and cause the problems for other men.

Bullshyte. He and other men have little to do with "making" these women bad. They are what they are. There are young hot AM women and others around the world doing the same thing but with different venues. For every bad one there is also a good one that look at the bad ones with more disdain than you or I. There are bad people. It is a fact of life. Your attempting to stereotype a reason for scamming women?

[ECOCKS]

This started out as a very nice romantic story.
Then it disintegrated into something not very believable.
While  there will be a lot of sympathy for Jason, in reality he and other men  like him (both AM and RM) makes the FSUW what they are like, and cause the problems for other men.

They enable and crutch their behaviors but I don't agree they "made" them into this lifestyle.

[Faux Pas]

Hanging on, I think I did for too long.  After I told her that she had to help herself, she changed and I was able to see more clearly what she was and what she was doing.  That was more than a year ago.
I have not spoken with her in about 9 months and have had plenty of time to examine this and understand what I went through and why.

Let me be clear: I did not help Yana do anything dis honest. In fact, I tried to talk her out of it.  My morality and sense of wrong and right were put to the test by this girl and I never thought she will really do anything like that.  Yes it's true that I did for a moment consider helping her to write a profile, I just could not do it.


Yes I should have run away long before I did.
But we all know that now.

Greater men have fallen much farther than you all on the strength of a woman's pubic hair. They can pull a freight train. You were an enabler and I would disagree with you, she was always the same. You just couldn't see it. Don't beat yourself up over to long. Yana is not representative of FSUW. She is but a small segment of women the world over. You met your first one in real life first, something quite rare. Most guys meet they're first through the websites Yana is now hustling through.

It's a good story Jason but if you'll read the archives you'll see it's a repeat of many others with a different twist. Good luck to you guy.

[Daveman]

Bullshyte. He and other men have little to do with "making" these women bad. They are what they are. There are young hot AM women and others around the world doing the same thing but with different venues. For every bad one there is also a good one that look at the bad ones with more disdain than you or I. There are bad people. It is a fact of life. Your attempting to stereo a reason for scamming women?

I disagree to the extent that a  large proportion of "beautiful" women are positively reinforced to behave in certain negative ways from about the time their physical appearance manifests into "beauty".  While not the sole reason for such "bad" traits, it certainly plays a role in the behavioral exacerbation process.  Then there is the debate of "learned" vs "genetic propensity" which is off on another tangent. Are they born this way? Or taught? The debates will probably rage on forever...


However... There are very logical reasons why there are signs around parks reading "DO NOT FEED THE BEARS" ... this analogy extrapolates quite well.

[Faux Pas]

I disagree to the extent that a  large proportion of "beautiful" women are positively reinforced to behave in certain negative ways from about the time their physical appearance manifests into "beauty".  While not the sole reason for such "bad" traits, it certainly plays a role in the behavioral exacerbation process.  Then there is the debate of "learned" vs "genetic propensity" which is off on another tangent. Are they born this way? Or taught? The debates will probably rage on forever...

We'll have to agree to disagree here Daveman  I see the same analogy you recently mentioned in the other thread concerning the apples. Why they are bad is likely a whole host of things. But, to point the root of the problem to the enablers is missing the mark IMHO

However... There are very logical reasons why there are signs around parks reading "DO NOT FEED THE BEARS" ... this analogy extrapolates quite well.

Agreed but, did you know that you don't have to be in a park to be eaten by bears? 

[noelscot]

I've enjoyed reading your story.  I anxiously await each new installment. I was scared for a minute that you were going to get on that plane to Russia. Luckily, your instincts saved you from a huge mistake. I just hope that she did not pull you back into her web of deceit. 

[Daveman]

We'll have to agree to disagree here Daveman  I see the same analogy you recently mentioned in the other thread concerning the apples. Why they are bad is likely a whole host of things. But, to point the root of the problem to the enablers is missing the mark IMHO

Heh... hell if everyone agreed around here, RWD would die from terminally malignant boredom within days...


Out of sheer curiosity at this point, what do you think, if any, the difference in Yana's behavior would be if she had been told "no" often and at an early age?

Agreed but, did you know that you don't have to be in a park to be eaten by bears? 

Hahah!  indeed..

[Eduard]

Bullshyte. He and other men have little to do with "making" these women bad. They are what they are. There are young hot AM women and others around the world doing the same thing but with different venues. For every bad one there is also a good one that look at the bad ones with more disdain than you or I. There are bad people. It is a fact of life. Your attempting to stereotype a reason for scamming women?

+1000!!!!

[Eduard]

Jason, what city is Yana from?

[Faux Pas]

Out of sheer curiosity at this point, what do you think, if any, the difference in Yana's behavior would be if she had been told "no" often and at an early age?

No earthly idea and maybe she was told no, maybe she wasn't. Maybe Poppa never said no and momma did, who knows. These things could have contributed or not. IMO, all anyone can do at this point is look to behavior and the body of work, no?

The thing is, no matter what turned these women into the vipers they are, many guys can't recognize a viper when blinded by beauty and thinking with the small head. It doesn't make them the blame 

[Eduard]

she was always the same. You just couldn't see it. Don't beat yourself up over to long. Yana is not representative of FSUW. She is but a small segment of women the world over. You met your first one in real life first, something quite rare. Most guys meet they're first through the websites Yana is now hustling through.

+ 1000!!!

[Gator]

Jason,
 
You and Yana are both culpable, yet the primary blame sits on Yana's shoulders.  She is a corrupt person.   Her beauty will take her a long way, but her beauty will dissipate.    This type of woman ends up being passed from man to man.   It becomes ugly eventually, and the ending can be tragic.
 
You happen to have come along early while she is a student.  Usually such RW as students accept being sponsored by a man of means.  This man grows weary of her after a couple of years,  she will find another man to keep her.  When he also tires of her, she turns to marriage agencies and that is when us AM could encounter them.
 
Some other thoughts:
1.  Marriage -  I don't see how this experience eliminates the possibility of you marrying someone else, as you expressed at the beginning of this thread.  What does not kill you, makes you stronger.  Even better, the experience should clarify in your mind the qualities that are especially important in a loving, enduring relationship.  And when you find them, do your best.  Yana found them in you and then did her worst.

2.  RW Blaming Others - You described how Yana blamed you for the other man as if you had allowed it or encouraged it.  I never encountered this particular situation, yet I have been blamed for something that was clearly the RW's fault.  I used to believe that this RW attitude of blaming others and never accepting responsibility is a cultural aspect.   Now I see it as a character flaw.  Not all RW are this way.  Some will accept responsibility. Nevertheless, God help you if it is your fault.    And if it is their fault, don't rub their nose in it.
 
3.  Sending Money - You were engaged to Yana and sent her money.  Some men will explain that a man should never send money except for an emergency.  I disagree, as I feel if you are engaged it is okay to make her life a little better while awaiting the visa.  Yet I would never send money for boots and coat, especially a fur coat.   Such luxury money should be saved for trips to see each other.

Jason, a good story, and thanks for sharing it.  I never encountered such behavior, yet I dated RW in their 30s and 40s, most with children.

[Gator]

Well ML, just goes to show you all men are different and that is what makes the world go round.   I am very thankful that I never fell for a 40 year old.    Because all men are different is the reason that there is no set best way for someone to proceed with this most wonderful pursuit.   A man does what he feels is best for him and after a little experience may change certain aspects of the pursuit from how he originally started.   

I agree 100% with everything except I am bewildered by the statement "I am very thankful that I never fell for a 40 year old."  Please elaborate.

[Chicagoguy]

In many trips to Russia I only had one scam me and it was insignificant. I think you were caught in a whirlpool. Maybe her too. But in the end you saw the light and swam out. She continues. What next - sex for money ? She might be able to end up justifing this, sad to say.
It's like gambling when you want to win back the money you lost and keep going back for more thinking it will soon change.
Now you are wiser and I really hope we hear some nice stories soon because you are a good person. There REALLY ARE many nice women out there - IMHO.

[newjason]

Jason, good ending story.
You don't answer me about did she give back some money from the marriage ?  I think i can guess the answer. Not even a cent. I thaugt about this time, just for this i would have gone to Russia, just to collect the resting money not yet expended and confront her with her stupidity.

Now just let me imagine : how many you expense during the courtship in us ?
In russia before pre-marriage ? Till now we can say quite normal to do such thing.

For the marriage ?
After the marriage ?
In my opinion  the total bill is more than 80 k $ easily and i would say more than  half for the marriage and after.

Do you think that being "generous" had been a great component in matter of success ?
What will happen in your opinion when the next man will hit Yana (i don't speak about an agency meeting, just in real life) ?
Where is your anger, who deprives you from your anger Jason in life ? I think this

I think she got the perfect job in accordance with her personality, no ?

Sorry I missed that part about paying the loan back. 
No, she did not pay or re-pay anything ever.
Then again, I never asked her to pay for anything either.

The total expenses and losses .. well. I have not done any math on it.
I don't really want to.
I know it would make me sick to my stomach.

Being generous with this type of girl is problematic as it just enables her bad behaviour and forgiving the debt was stupid on my part, because in her mind, she got away with it, she scammed me,  I let her do it, and there were no consequences.

I don't know what the next man will do, but I can only hope he is smarter than I was.

My anger was mostly with her at first. Later it was with myself.
I have an outlet for anger at the racquet ball court every other evening.
I also keep busy. But, truth be told, If I could talk to her for 1 last hour, I would tell her what I really thought of her, how I felt about what she did, why I let her do it and why she better never do anything like that again.  I'd ask her if her feelings , statements, and expressions were in any way real, or was it all an act.  I better stop before I say something purely from my soul.

The perfect Job?  yes you are right, but that is really sad in so many ways.  I will never understand the narcissism and the deep rooted need for money that she has.  She is more concerned about what other people think if her, than she is about herself and those who care about her.  Lie,  Cheat,  Steal,  adultry,  envy,  those are her strong traits. But what can I do except see her in hell when the time comes. 

[newjason]

Out of sheer curiosity at this point, what do you think, if any, the difference in Yana's behavior would be if she had been told "no" often and at an early age?

Hahah!  indeed..

Daveman  you hit the nail right on the head!
IMO this girl was spoiled from day one. I contributed to spoiling her even more.
I told her things that inflated her ego to gigantinc proportions.
I treated her like she was the queen and did everything for her.
I did this because in my past relationships, I did not praise my lover, and that made me a "selfish asshole"
So in hindsight, I should have told her how things really were, not how she wanted  to hear them.
I ignored a lot of bad behaviour  from her, because I wanted to be a better person.
I bit my tongue a lot and held back my true opinions of her.

Live and learn.

[newjason]

I've enjoyed reading your story.  I anxiously await each new installment. I was scared for a minute that you were going to get on that plane to Russia. Luckily, your instincts saved you from a huge mistake. I just hope that she did not pull you back into her web of deceit.

Thanks Scott.  Writing this story has given me a lot of insight. I appreciate the positive re-enforcement from all the members here. Thank you all for listening to my story, I hope this can help someone, someday in some form, and in some way.

It is so hard to comrehend Yana's ability to be so very sweet and cool and kind when I am with her in the asme room, and how she can become something totally the opposite when she returned to Russia. 
I guess it's true that you  NEVER REALLY know someone completely.

A pretty face is there for 1 reason only. To hide the evil lurking just behind the eyes. 

[newjason]

This started out as a very nice romantic story.
Then it disintegrated into something not very believable.
While  there will be a lot of sympathy for Jason, in reality he and other men  like him (both AM and RM) makes the FSUW what they are like, and cause the problems for other men.

ML
I am not seeking sympathy. I am curious about other viewpoints. Yours is the most interesting so far. Also the most confusing.

[newjason]

Jason, what city is Yana from?

I think that I had better not say.  I will say, that the names and some of the places have been changed as  this information could be used in ways I can not yet conceive.
To tell the truth, I would love to post her name and location and a link to this thread with a big warning sign.  Alas, there are two sides to every story, and her rendition of events are most likely very different. 
If you have a very good reason for wanting to know, write it down and PM me.
I will consider it.

In many trips to Russia I only had one scam me and it was insignificant. I think you were caught in a whirlpool. Maybe her too. But in the end you saw the light and swam out. She continues. What next - sex for money ? She might be able to end up justifing this, sad to say.
It's like gambling when you want to win back the money you lost and keep going back for more thinking it will soon change.
Now you are wiser and I really hope we hear some nice stories soon because you are a good person. There REALLY ARE many nice women out there - IMHO.

Thank you for the encouragement Chicagoguy. I know you are right, there are a lot of good women out there.  I just have a knack for attracting the most crazy 1% of them.  In fact, my friends joke at me and say that I have an entire wing of the local mental hospital named after me, where in they keep all of my Ex girlfriends.  LOL

Jason,
 
You and Yana are both culpable, yet the primary blame sits on Yana's shoulders.  She is a corrupt person.   Her beauty will take her a long way, but her beauty will dissipate.    This type of woman ends up being passed from man to man.   It becomes ugly eventually, and the ending can be tragic.
 
You happen to have come along early while she is a student.  Usually such RW as students accept being sponsored by a man of means.  This man grows weary of her after a couple of years,  she will find another man to keep her.  When he also tires of her, she turns to marriage agencies and that is when us AM could encounter them.
 
Some other thoughts:
1.  Marriage -  I don't see how this experience eliminates the possibility of you marrying someone else, as you expressed at the beginning of this thread.  What does not kill you, makes you stronger.  Even better, the experience should clarify in your mind the qualities that are especially important in a loving, enduring relationship.  And when you find them, do your best.  Yana found them in you and then did her worst.

2.  RW Blaming Others - You described how Yana blamed you for the other man as if you had allowed it or encouraged it.  I never encountered this particular situation, yet I have been blamed for something that was clearly the RW's fault.  I used to believe that this RW attitude of blaming others and never accepting responsibility is a cultural aspect.   Now I see it as a character flaw.  Not all RW are this way.  Some will accept responsibility. Nevertheless, God help you if it is your fault.    And if it is their fault, don't rub their nose in it.
 
3.  Sending Money - You were engaged to Yana and sent her money.  Some men will explain that a man should never send money except for an emergency.  I disagree, as I feel if you are engaged it is okay to make her life a little better while awaiting the visa.  Yet I would never send money for boots and coat, especially a fur coat.   Such luxury money should be saved for trips to see each other.

Jason, a good story, and thanks for sharing it.  I never encountered such behavior, yet I dated RW in their 30s and 40s, most with children.

Thank you  Gator for your insight and comments.
Like I said in my first post, my story is completely backward of the typical story here. Although the essence is the same.
I suppose i should have said, I am not looking to get married right now.  I will be someday, not today.

As for Yana, I just could not marry a gold digger. It would be a life sentence of distrust, drama, anger, pain and deceit.  That is not what I call a good marriage. I will find someone someday, who will stay with me, in good times and in bad times.  Who I will share a love with, that will be unconditional.  If I was a fast food server when I met Yana, do you think  we would have had such a romance as we did?
It's hard to say, because I think at the very beginning our inital attraction was purely physical. We had a chemistry thing going on and It was Very Very hard to ignore.  Maybe I would have been better off not getting emotionally attached and just enjoying the passionate steaming romance for what it was, and ended it when she left to go back home.
Besides, when you want to stop having sex with a woman, you marry her right?  LOL 

Oh and as for sending money to her. I sent Yana $1000 dollars for the month.  She said she needed a coat and some boots. I said fine. I did not expect her to be so stupid and  go buy the minx farm and boots from some hooker supply store. She did that on her own, and later informed me.  I did not think I needed to instruct her how to budget her money, witch was soon going to be Our money. I assumed she had better sense than that. But hey, what the hell, it's only money..

No earthly idea and maybe she was told no, maybe she wasn't. Maybe Poppa never said no and momma did, who knows. These things could have contributed or not. IMO, all anyone can do at this point is look to behavior and the body of work, no?

The thing is, no matter what turned these women into the vipers they are, many guys can't recognize a viper when blinded by beauty and thinking with the small head. It doesn't make them the blame 

Thanks Faux Pas
Her dad died when she was 16.  As she told it, he spoiled her big time.  Maybe She was still in mourning when  I met her.  And yes her mom is the only one whoi tells her NO.
Classic case of the spoiled entitled brat.  But that still does not justify progression of even worse corruption of her morality. 
This girl is the girl who all the other girls hate. She must be the life of the party, the center of attention, and the best (sluttiest) dressed anywhere and everywhere she goes. She is obsessed over her looks and will never be happy with herself because she will never be younger agian.  When her looks are gone ( and they will be ) one would hope that she has something worthwhile to fall back on, like a great personality, a history of good deeds,  a tight pool of good friends and a good man who loves her for who she is on the inside.  All of those things I feel will elude Yana when she hits her 30's and 40's
All this immoral living has a price. One that must be paid, like it or not when the time comes, you will either embrace it or you will resist it and be obsessed by it. I saw a good person in her. Then I saw a monster in her too.   



Below -- Hooker Boots. Right?

[newjason]

I want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for reading this story.
It has been a roller-coaster ride for me and It has been very nice to get this all off my chest.

I hope that this story will give a little insight into the world of Gold Diggers.
They are out there, every where. If you happen upon one, like I did, Be smart.
have fun with them. Enjoy them. But most of all, Don't marry them!


Now, my predictions for Yana.

I predict that Yana will drop out of school and not finish college.
I predict that she will meet some wife buyer 20+ years older and Marry him after knowing him on line for less than 6 months and meeting him in person one time.
I predict that this man will be forewarned about her, but will choose to ignore those warnings.
I predict that She will seem happy with him, and it will seem like the marriage is working.
I predict that She will demand new Car, new clothes, new House and new in laws.
When she does not get everything she wants, I predict that she will leave him and divorce him, taking every penny.
I predict that she will someday write to me again and claim to be in trouble and need my help.
I predict that I will laugh at her and respond - you got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out.
I predict that someday I will see a photo of her in her 30's and she will not resemble the same girl.
I predict that her life will be a series of dramas, one after the other, and when people grow tired of her, she will leave and go to another country.

A dollar earned from an honest days work is far more valuable than a dollar given to you for having done nothing to deserve it. ---  Jason

[GQBlues]

I'm itching to ask the question....

Yana's cousin/relatives (your co-worker) were never even invited to the wedding? Were they in on it? Curious mind wanna know...

... @GQBlues      be patient, its coming...

Patient, yes, that I be, still and always am...but come, never it is?
 
Nonetheless, thanks for the story! Sadly, revision 33, version 3.34 in these parts. 
 

[newjason]

Patient, yes, that I be, still and always am...but come, never it is?
 
Nonetheless, thanks for the story! Sadly, revision 33, version 3.34 in these parts. 
 

Sorry GQBlues, I think I snuck it by you ..

@Slumba  Wow thanks.  Maybe I will quit construction and Go write letters for AnastasiaDate...LOL
@Eduard  You were correct indeed.  The experience was a great one.  learned a lot. About myself, and about the people close to me.

@Patagonie  I was thinking along similar lines.  I am not a person who says " I can't" very often. I believe anything is possible and I will and have gone to great lengths to make things happen in life. Some things are worthwhile, and other things are not.  That determination and drive is what keeps me going in life.  Yana is simply a different personality. I knew her well enough to know tha I can not make her into something she is not. - Thrifty. There was no point in trying to convince her to save money because I can't afford it, She would have gave  hour long explanations of why she needs (x whatever it may be).  I was very hapy in this story up until this next part.

@GQBlues     be patient, its coming..



And now the Conclusion...

Remember ...  Last time I was saying to  Yana....

....If you can explain to me what you have been doing the last days you were absent, why you changed, why you dont answer my calls, explain it all to me, The Truth.   

If do that , and I will think about still coming..  (Not really, I had already decided I was not going)

Much to my surprise, she came clean about everything, and I mean everything. I was Impressed, she was either the best damn con artist ever made, or she really wanted to get married. 

So what was she up to???

Well first, She admitted to having a boyfriend , after claiming he was  "just a friend" and me pushing her for the truth.   She claimed it was not serious.   I don't care,  We were to be married in a week,  Why were you wanting to be with someone  else and get married too?   If I meant enough to Yana to marry  her, then she had the responsibility to refrain from being with other men.   This had apparently  been happening for about a month. I beleive her about that, as that was about the time she became twitchy and distant.  She tried to give me reasons to justify her actions, but somehow she would always end up blaming me for it in the End.  That is another thing I have noticed about FSU women, No matter what she does, it is always your fault.  LOL Really Yana? My fault?  I suppose Held you at gunpoint and made you buy a thousand dollar fur too?

I thanked her for telling the truth, and coming clean. I then asked if  she had any last words..  before I say good bye.
She cried like a baby. She said she left that guy, and he is gone forever now. She begged and pleaded don't leave me please Jason I beg you , I can not without you ...  You are my only one who really understands and loves me , really.

Damn why do girls do that..  I feel guilty, but still mad and can not forget what she did.
To marry this girl would be a life full of this kind of thing.  I said -  Yana, I love you too, you are the most amazing woman I have ever known.   BUT you made a fool out of me, and yourself. You let me down, you don't respect yourself and certainly cannot respect me. That's ok.  That is just who you are.  You don't respect marriage or commitment.   
I can't be with you Yana. I love you.  I miss you, and will always cherish what we had together.  But you did a mistake that will never be able to erased clean. 
So I think I better say goodbye to you.
She cried even more and begged me again and again not to leave her forever.
Finally, I just said, look, I gotta go,  I will call you later ok?
OK she said.

Now everything had changed so much, I was still in dis-belief .
I had to call my parents and tell them that I did not leave to go to Russia and it was over between Yana and I.  I hated to do that, because It broke my mom's heart. You see, she really reallly Adored Yana and Yana loved her too.  I called Val and informed him of what had happened. He was very quiet and I could sense the disappointment in his voice. 
We had planned to get married at Val's house when Yana came back to America on her Spouse Visa.
I told him, not to blame Yana for what happened. She was hurting enough already. 

At that point, I started back into working a lot of hours and keeping myself busy. I needed to put some time into myself again so I could begin to heal from this.
I did call Yana back.  And we cried and just talked as friends for a long time. 
She called me every day.  I did not want to take her calls, but I felt I had to, I needed Yana in my life in some way shape or form. 
About a week went by ,I repaid the loan in full.
Yana kept hanging on...
I did too.  I was a mess.   i couldn't think, I couldn't eat or sleep. My work was suffering and so was I.
I had to myself It was Over.
But could I live without Yana?
I had to try.


There is a lot more to this story as this happened several years ago.  But I may just close it out now. I don't know what to do yet.  aw ok,  I will keep going.

So...
Yana and I stayed best friends. We talked ever day and She is a very dear person to me. She did convince me about a year later To come to visit her in Russia.  I agreed and went and spent two incredible weeks With her and the moment we were reunited, The magic was back, better than before. We had each other,  in every way. I am so glad I went to visit her. being her is simply like being in a different galaxy.
 I was thinking about giving her another chance when about that time 
another person entered the story....

Who could it be now?

 

To elaborate, Val was very disappointed to learn of what had happened. He was going to be the HOST of our USA wedding. Remember , we were planning 2 weddings.  One in Russia, then when we got back here, One in USA.  He was very happy for us and heartbroken after it was over.  Her behaviour has no  reflection on Him, He is a great man and we are still great friends.  She chose to act like a fool on her own, no one helped her do it.  Val went so far as to offer to have the USA wedding at HIS home, and that would have been a perfect place for it too. He wanted to supply all the things we would need for this event. He could not take the time off from work to go to russia for the wedding there, as most of the in-laws in the USA could not. That's why we decided on two weddings.

So , yes he was the First one to get an Invite!  Of course! we had him to thank for everything. I even demanded that he be my BEST MAN, and he proudly accepted.

We do not speak about Yana. I don't ask , and he dosen't tell. It is better that I don't know I think.

Thank you for your Interest and Patience GQBlues