Unrealistic Expectations - Women - Entitlement Mentality

[Gator]

Gator, pardon me but noticing, but i see certain similarities in your story and the "ukrainian case study."
You know, if a guy whom I wanted to marry would tell me "I will not marry you, but here is a new Lada for you" - I would broke up with him without thinking twice. Because it looks like he thinks he can buy me. If a guy tells me "I am not ready to marry yet" - I can understand this. But if he tells me "I don't want you for a wife/you cannot have me as your husband but here is a car for you service/time convenience/use" - this is humiliating. I frankly speaking see no difference, only you weren't married, and this ukrainian gal's lover is married.

Such decisions are not made unilaterally without much discussion over a prolonged period of time.  While it may seem like a kept woman situation, that was not my objective.    And cost was also not my objective even though this arrangement was less expensive than marriage.    It seemed like the proper step to take at the time.

[TomT]

Unreasonable expectations and entitlement mentalities certainly work both ways. A common misconception that permeates the FSU bride industry is that any old man has a choice of many young beauties... and the beneficiary should be grateful to her rescuer for being saved.


Some aspects of the myth are correct. It's true that FSU women with a child, who are past their prime, are usually marginalized in their home countries. It's also true that the playing field is heavily sloped in favor of the Western men in this endeavor. The problem that arises, however, is that the transplanted marginalized woman becomes a swan amongst ducks in her new environment and the slope of the playing field reverses itself.


The wise man, who knows that his strategic advantage is fleeting, will try to build a solid partnership so that she has a reason to stay. The nasty, drunken old fool, who tries to maintain the status quo through abuse and threats, is likely to find himself on the wrong side of the Violence Against Women Act. Then, instead of bitching and moaning about entitled FSU women, he can come back here and whine about the injustices of the criminal justice system.


 

[Muzh]

 

[Gator]

The wise man, who knows that his strategic advantage is fleeting, will try to build a solid partnership so that she has a reason to stay.

Partnership?  Very important but not as important as emotional connection.   BTW, partnership for what? 
 

The nasty, drunken old fool, who tries to maintain the status quo through abuse and threats, is likely to find himself on the wrong side of the Violence Against Women Act. Then, instead of bitching and moaning about entitled FSU women, he can come back here and whine about the injustices of the criminal justice system.

   
If a "nasty, drunken old fool" were  acceptable marriage standards for a FSUW, why marry an American?   There are plenty such FSUM to choose from. 

[Fashionista]

Well, I don't know about that particular scenario, but I can tell you I know a man who used to be single, who dated single fsu women, who would have understood them much better had he been seriously stoned!

LOL
Don't give people any ideas 
Does that work the other way around too?

[TomT]

Partnership?  Very important but not as important as emotional connection.   BTW, partnership for what? 

I envisioned a partnership in many spheres, including an emotional attachment, as opposed to a situation in which the woman is a perennial "junior partner" who resembles a trafficking victim.

 
If a "nasty, drunken old fool" were  acceptable marriage standards for a FSUW, why marry an American?   There are plenty such FSUM to choose from.

Trust me, the irony of FSU women getting involved with nasty, drunken old American (or Western¹) fools has always been a source of amazement for me. I probably shouldn't think about it very much; the cognitive dissonance that it creates would surely drive me mad.


Note¹: equal opportunity

[Daveman]

LOL
Don't give people any ideas 
Does that work the other way around too?

Hah!  Without a doubt it does!  Have you ever witnessed anyone fight after a good stoning?     




_{Well, maybe if you try to snag that bag of Doritos or Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pie from their grasp... but the fight is more like "HEY!! those are MINE"}