Why would russian women want an average american man?

[Muzh]

So, what's your point?
Would you prefer that the US "value of being a man" were still like 50-60 yrars ago or as it is in the 3rd world countries?
Or do you prefer it the "current 1st world country" way?

I've been reading this guy for a while and did not respond to his posts because, as you can see from his "declaration" above, he is justifying his search of a very young and submissive woman from an impoverished country.
 
There is a guy in our office doing the same. Colombia and Thailand are his favorite sports spots for dating young girls women. He's been doing that for about 10 years that I know of. The thing about this guy is he is not bad looking and is in shape, well for the exception of putting shoe polish in his hair. I could say more but I'll stop here.

[whynotme]

Were these women dumber than a bag of hammers?

I would not be so categorical in assessments. In our family it was common thing when relatives, friends of relatives, friends of friends could stay for few days. 20-30 years ago to find a place in the hotel was a problem, (in some places even hotels were a problem  ), so vaunted Russian hospitality was the norm. Probably it depends on region I live...
And yes, I invited a foreigner to stay in my home (if I invited him to visit). But:
1. I had conditions for that. 2. It suited me more. To save his money was the last thing I was thinking about... 

[Muzh]

I would not be so categorical in assessments. In our family it was common thing when relatives, friends of relatives, friends of friends could stay for few days. 20-30 years ago to find a place in the hotel was a problem, (in some places even hotels were a problem  ), so vaunted Russian hospitality was the norm. Probably it depends on region I live...
And yes, I invited a foreigner to stay in my home (if I invited him to visit). But:
1. I had conditions for that. 2. It suited me more. To save his money was the last thing I was thinking about... 

Hi Millaa, I don't remember if I said    to you.
 
I believe know things are very different today than from when I started. But for argument's sake, I spent a considerable long time talking to my wife prior to visit her. The conversations were so intense that sometime she would cry because I was so far away. Trust me, I felt the same way.
 
STILL, I rented a flat for 4 days in Kyiv and told her this was my way of making things easier for her BUT I told her I was going to Kharkiv to meet her family. Her family was waiting anxiously to meet this crazy Amerikanetz. AND I stayed at their house. This way they got a glimpse of what was awaiting for them. 
 
One more time, we spent a considerably long time talking to each other before I went to visit her. You should have seen my phone bills; enough for two trips. Now, think about that for a while.

[mies]

I would not be so categorical in assessments. In our family it was common thing when relatives, friends of relatives, friends of friends could stay for few days. 20-30 years ago to find a place in the hotel was a problem, (in some places even hotels were a problem  ), so vaunted Russian hospitality was the norm. Probably it depends on region I live...
And yes, I invited a foreigner to stay in my home (if I invited him to visit). But:
1. I had conditions for that. 2. It suited me more. To save his money was the last thing I was thinking about... 

Yes, relatives and friends, but not a man you never met in real life, who is in search of a wife (at least in his declared statement) and generally his search goes in the manner "спасибо этому дому, пойдем к другому." Suitor living in the house of his potential girlfriend or wife (not even a real girlfriend yet) has always been a very rare/odd/frowned upon thing in USSR. During USSR times there were "dating ad services" provided by local and national newspapers and national radio. Probably the only women who would be qualified to confirm or refute CDW's statement are women who met the guy via such services, corresponded for some time via regular mail, and then decided to meet in real. My guess is that even in these cases inviting a person to live in woman's apartment was not common.

[CDW]

More likely those women offered you to stay at their place because you are unable to see.

Then how come I can READ what you have written? 

[CDW]

EVERYONE PLEASE LISTEN.... NOTHING TO DO WITH ME BEING DEAFNESS!!

These people who invited me - were also deaf, so why should they feel sorry for me?

You need to remember that, these men have to:

1)  Pay for the air fares
2)  Taking time from holidays
3)  Paying expensive restaurant for the ladies - and possibly for the family
4)  Paying flowers for the lady and for the mother
5)  paying for the hotel/apartments
6)  pay new iPad, new mobile phone, designer handbags for the materialistic ladies

So, what do these ladies contribute?????  EH??????  NOTHING!!!! You do not want to try to offer accomodation.  WHAT DID YOU REALLY OFFER THEM???   


I would rather give $1,000 for the needy charity!!!


Many of you seem to think being "DEAF" is very negative thing.  You are no different to racist! 

MY POSTING ABOUT INVITATION STILL STANDS - REGARDLESS WHAT YOU THINK.  YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND - EVER!!! 

STOP WASTING YOUR TIME  "because he is deaf"  "because they feel sorry for him"


Despite being deafness, I run very successful business.  And what are you?  Your HEARING!!!!!  Being as a deaf person is not a bad thing.  I really feel sorry for you because you seem to think of it in a negative way.

You are really very ignorant (to these people who thinks being a deaf person is very negative).


THIS IS MY LAST POSTING EVER.  IT IS POINTLESS FOR ME STAYING HERE

[GQBlues]

Goodness! Women's character integrity is being put to task as to whether or not she should invite a man/men she met in the internet so she can save him $300-500?

Get real guys...if $300-500 bucks is that big of a deal - stay home. Flying to these regions in your silly search for a wife is not a favor to her. It's a necessary evil for you due to your social limitations at home.

I would seriously question a woman's mentality, especially if she had a child, that invites a man she met in the internet into her home and literally had never met him in person prior.

Stupid hurts!

[mies]

These people who invited me - were also deaf, so why should they feel sorry for me?

You need to remember that, these men have to:

1)  Pay for the air fares
2)  Taking time from holidays
3)  Paying expensive restaurant for the ladies - and possibly for the family
4)  Paying flowers for the lady and for the mother
5)  paying for the hotel/apartments
6)  pay new iPad, new mobile phone, designer handbags for the materialistic ladies

how many designer handbags, ipads, and new mobile phones have you bought for materialistic ladies? Do you at least have an idea what is a median price for a designer handbag?

If the ladies who invited you were also deaf it explains a lot: first, they felt stronger empathy to you, secondly, - the life for a person with ANY, even mild disability is very hard in FSU, and extremely hard for them to find partners or get hopes for better life. So these women do fall in the category of desperate.

You are missing the point that whatever a man from Mars decides to do, he does not do it to make some random woman happy. He does it because he believes it will make his life better. He does it for himself. Demanding, or requesting someone to cover expenses of YOUR life improvement is unethical. Yes, other people can offer to share the expenses, but it does not and should not come as a default offer.

Rules of slavic hospitality say that a host should also feed the guests, and should feed them well - cooking for the guests, buying more expensive and higher quality products and so on. So having a guest in woman's home is not just a "no cost" way to make man's life easier. Given the grocery prices in FSU, the woman on average would spend in a 1-2 weeks about the same amount on groceries as you saved on hotel. So she is literally paying for your stay. Given that her salary is considerably less than yours - she likely would run into debt to be able to provide you a "good experience" and to be a good host. If you were buying groceries while staying in woman's apartment - thumbs up to you. But the woman does not know beforehand if her guest would do it, and would not ask for a man to buy groceries when she is inviting him to stay at her home. It's against the hospitality rules.
Also factor in linens which then need to be washed, and many people do not have modern washing/drying machines in FSU. So a wash of extra set of linens becomes a cumbersome task. Plus extra time spent by woman to keep the apartment meticulously clean during your stay, And so on. You just have no idea how generous was the offer of your female friends to stay in their house, you took them for granted, and now are advising same attitude to other men.

[Ade]

EVERYONE PLEASE LISTEN.... NOTHING TO DO WITH ME BEING DEAFNESS!!

These people who invited me - were also deaf, so why should they feel sorry for me?

Well, that rules out the sympathy card. Which leaves, at least, stupid, desperate and/or incredibly naive.

You need to remember that, these men have to:

1)  Pay for the air fares
2)  Taking time from holidays
3)  Paying expensive restaurant for the ladies - and possibly for the family
4)  Paying flowers for the lady and for the mother
5)  paying for the hotel/apartments
6)  pay new iPad, new mobile phone, designer handbags for the materialistic ladies

So, what do these ladies contribute?????  EH??????  NOTHING!!!!

Nothing? Really? Let me get this straight. You went all the way to the FSU for what then exactly? A holiday with free lodging?

Many of you seem to think being "DEAF" is very negative thing.  You are no different to racist! 

So let me get my head around this. Being deaf is a positive thing? It doesn't elicit sympathy? And, anyone noticing you are deaf and attempts to point out the possible drawbacks of that in the FSU is no better than a racist? BTW, I think the word you're looking for is "Ableist"

[Muzh]

Nothing? Really? Let me get this straight. You went all the way to the FSU for what then exactly? A holiday with free lodging?

Sex trip??

[mies]

Maybe CDW can start an alternative program: invite to USA women to stay in his place. He would offer them free lodging, they would cover the cost of flight and other expenses. Some women do have tourist visa. So it is possible CDW will meet women this way. He also can register at couch surfing web site: http://www.couchsurfing.org/

(CDW- i am not sarcastic here, i think you can try this option)

[Spoon]

EVERYONE PLEASE LISTEN.... NOTHING TO DO WITH ME BEING DEAFNESS!!

These people who invited me - were also deaf, so why should they feel sorry for me?

You need to remember that, these men have to:

1)  Pay for the air fares
2)  Taking time from holidays
3)  Paying expensive restaurant for the ladies - and possibly for the family
4)  Paying flowers for the lady and for the mother
5)  paying for the hotel/apartments
6)  pay new iPad, new mobile phone, designer handbags for the materialistic ladies

So, what do these ladies contribute?????  EH??????  NOTHING!!!! You do not want to try to offer accomodation.  WHAT DID YOU REALLY OFFER THEM???   


I would rather give $1,000 for the needy charity!!!


Many of you seem to think being "DEAF" is very negative thing.  You are no different to racist! 

MY POSTING ABOUT INVITATION STILL STANDS - REGARDLESS WHAT YOU THINK.  YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE MY MIND - EVER!!! 

STOP WASTING YOUR TIME  "because he is deaf"  "because they feel sorry for him"


Despite being deafness, I run very successful business.  And what are you?  Your HEARING!!!!!  Being as a deaf person is not a bad thing.  I really feel sorry for you because you seem to think of it in a negative way.

You are really very ignorant (to these people who thinks being a deaf person is very negative).


THIS IS MY LAST POSTING EVER.  IT IS POINTLESS FOR ME STAYING HERE

CDW, you come across as a very frustrated man, it's not the first time I have encountered similar outbursts from deaf/hearing impaired people either.

Anyhow, back to the topic......I will stick my hand up and say we must have been the odd couple then.

I was invited to spend my first trip to the FSU at the lady's apartment (she did not live with her family) and I accepted. It had nothing to do with saving a buck, I just had very strong feelings for this person (whom I later Married) and we both felt there was a huge amount of trust between us and we wanted to see and do a lot of things together.

We had been exclusively corresponding for almost 6 months, no one else had come to visit her, we were calling daily and hundreds of sms and emails, I guess we felt we knew each other well enough to make the decision like adults.

The proviso was that if we didn't like each other physically (which was the last and final test for us) then of course, I could decide to cut my trip short or move to an apartment and have a holiday while licking my wounds

Funnily enough, neither of us found anything strange in the situation - it just felt kinda 'normal'

[Chicagoguy]

My first girlfriend asked me to stay at her 1 room flat on my second visit and then those thereafter. The main reason was it was more convienent for both of us. There were few decent hotels back then and as for as I know no apartments. $ was never a factor. We would even go to her wonderful dacha with her parents.
In the end she would not come here because of elderly parents and worries about son - who was independent. We still keep in touch.

[ECOCKS]

Because despite all the hype, there is still a significantly-sized group who sincerely want to get out of their countries.

America doesn't have a monopoly on this emotion, England, other Western European countries, Oceania, even some parts of India and South America are on these FSUW wish lists.

Quite a few are unhappy with the way their countries are being run. Whether it's Yankyurkovick, Pootin or any of the other oligarch/crooks running a specific country, many are just quietly fed up and hope for a better chance elsewhere.

Many hope for a better education and opportunities for their children. A few honestly hope that what we tell them about educational opportunities for middle-aged people is true as well.

I'm not sure who thinks anyone with an "average Russian job" can take three overseas trips a year on their own dime. My wife laughed when I mentioned that a few minutes ago.

I teach a woman doctor at one of the largest companies in the world and she tells me she and her husband will be lucky to make a trip to Turkey for one week this year.

I have a cardiologist in one of my classes who is making $225/month. She told me she looks at her son and wonders whether he'll be a doctor and struggle to survive like her, her brother, her father and her mother.

There's a woman student studying civil engineering who tells me the depression is getting to her and she can barely stand the incessant comments of the almost entirely male engineering students and the entirely male faculty.

One of the teachers and I were walking to get lunch a couple of weeks ago and some jackass on the street corner made some snide remark about her upper chest area. She began screaming at him and the guy literally turned tail and retreated. When we continued walking and she told me what he said I appreciated constant crap these gals have to put up with on a daily basis.

I am proctoring the SAT on Saturday. All seats are filled at two locations in town. There is widespread dismay at the halving of the Muskie program this year and rumors of it's elimination afterward.

Unemployment is still running high in Ukraine and average wages here seem to be barely above subsistence. My stepson has two degrees and a job at one of the largest banks in the country but is saving up so he and his fiance can go to Turkey for one week. He wears a coat and tie to work but without our Kyiv apartment he'd be having to share a one-room place with another guy or two. My future daughter-in-law prays for call-ins with a catering company since the economy has become so depressed. I suspect it's the same situation in Russia as well.

Why are some FSUW seeking WM for husbands? I don't particularly think it's the alcohol abuse (although it exists), the dreary, gray buildings (although, like Seattle, environment has an effect on people) and it isn't that they just want some nice things. IMO, it's a desire for a breakout to a world with larger horizons.

[Vasilisa]

You need to remember that, these men have to:

1)  Pay for the air fares
2)  Taking time from holidays
3)  Paying expensive restaurant for the ladies - and possibly for the family
4)  Paying flowers for the lady and for the mother
5)  paying for the hotel/apartments
6)  pay new iPad, new mobile phone, designer handbags for the materialistic ladies

So, what do these ladies contribute?????  EH??????  NOTHING!!!! You do not want to try to offer accomodation.  WHAT DID YOU REALLY OFFER THEM???   


I would rather give $1,000 for the needy charity!!!


THIS IS MY LAST POSTING EVER.  IT IS POINTLESS FOR ME STAYING HERE

CDW, you obiously don't hear what people are trying to tell you, even in the written form. One more time:
you pay for the trips, flowers, dinners, etc
BECAUSE YOU WANT A WIFE AND FOR SOME REASON YOU CAN'T FIND HER WHERE YOU LIVE, that is what you are paying for. NOT because you decided to improve some ladies' lives over there. Otherwise you'd have given money to the charity.

If you see women's only contribution in offering free lodging and meal to complete strangers (online correspondence doesn't count actually) you got something wrong. Your woman if you do everything in a right way will eventually give you what you couldn't find in your own country: being loved and a strong family, so are you looking for a free room or a strong family?!.

 For some families with traditional moral values it will be totally inappropriate as it can give some the image of  prostitutes but you obviously don't care about it and a free room means the most. I am dating here, in the US and here it's the same, and I know that some women are even giving a google voice phone number to the men they met online and they haven't met in person yet, nobody except for prostitutes invite the men they have never met to stay with them. You never know what the first date is going to be and what this man really is.

If I went to a different country to meet the man I'd never man for the first time  I'd stay in a hotel or with the friend I know in person.

When the first man came to my place I saw him as someone special and I thought I was the one to him,so I was trying to reduce his expenses, but it turned out that for him I was one of many, so I didn't save his cost of his trip to me, I saved his cost of his trip to the girls , so he could visit more of them at the same time.
What kind of love and care are you talking about when it's all about your convenience.
If you can't afford the trip to one who you see as your special one stop looking right now.

[Vasilisa]

how many designer handbags, ipads, and new mobile phones have you bought for materialistic ladies? Do you at least have an idea what is a median price for a designer handbag?

Yes, I also wanted to say the same: so far it looks like his entire trip was $1000 or something, the expensive designer bags are $2000.  I got curious how many of them he has presented so far in exchange for the free rooms.

CDW, I understand what you are trying to say: real love in blind, people don't care about the race, size, look, etc, when people love they are trying to make the lives of the one they love better, etc.

What is wrong: YOU ARE LOOKING for these signs of blind and crazy love in women but you have a calculator on how much you spend on them in your own head , how much you give and how much you get in retun and it means YOU DON"T love them. Period. And it means stop your relationship if you have this calculator, as soon as you meet the one you love you will not care about how many compliments she has told you and how much you spend on dinner and on the tickets, etc.

[Miri22]

Its the codependent type of relationship he's looking for ..

[whynotme]

Yes, relatives and friends, but not a man you never met in real life

Many of this visitors I never seen before  BTW, many times I was invited to stay by people I know not well myself... so I would not talk about ALL SSSR. That days are gone, the habit stil remained...

[OlgaH]

I think you attract into your life what you need, either positively, or negatively.  That's been my experience, at least. 

Boethius, I tend to agree with you. In most cases IMO people attract into their life what they have inside them on subconscious level even not realizing it. When a person complains that he/she feels lonely because of people around, or complains about unsuccessful dating again because of people..., I think the person first of all should take a deep look inside him/herself.

[Vasilisa]

Boethius, I tend to agree with you. In most cases IMO people attract into their life what they have inside them on subconscious level even not realizing it. When a person complains that he/she feels lonely because of people around, or complains about unsuccessful dating again because of people..., I think the person first of all should take a deep look inside him/herself.

Olga, I have to ask: what is the purpose of your intentional following me from one thread to another and making up stories about my personal life? Where exactly I complained about unsuccessful dating?! 
What is your problem, sweetie ?! You are always cheerful and and never sad about anything?! We just believe you always look the way you do in that avatar of yours, just 24/7, even when you are asleep.   Or just shy to tell what you really feel like so you prefer to make fun of other people's feelings who are able of sharing them?! I am not shy of sharing my feelings, thoughts that are different from nice and sweet and that's the way I am. Just get it.

Take a deep look inside yourself and ask yourself what you are missing in your life what makes you do that and also complaining about the country you left 10 years ago, about what Estern Europeans dress and look like  instead of enjoying your perfect family life with your beloved husband in a new country?!

Most of us feel fine with Eastern Europe and the way Eastern Euopeans look and act like. that's the way people go there. Even foreigners unpload cute, beautiful and funny pictures of their adventures in the FSU countries, only you keep telling scary stories about Russian prostitutes, feel ashamed about what they look like and what Turkish sales people tell about them and post something ugly.

[OlgaH]

You need to remember that, these men have to:

1)  Pay for the air fares
2)  Taking time from holidays
3)  Paying expensive restaurant for the ladies - and possibly for the family
4)  Paying flowers for the lady and for the mother
5)  paying for the hotel/apartments
6)  pay new iPad, new mobile phone, designer handbags for the materialistic ladies

A man's expenses are understandable. But why would you need to buy an expensive presents to a woman you hardly know? IMO no decent woman will accept the expensive gifts from a man she hardly knows. Why would you want to deal with materialistic ladies if you feel obligated buying them the expensive gifts? 

[missAmeno]

Then how come I can READ what you have written? 

CDW, I only started to use this forum recently, been reading few threads that attracted my attention and I know I have been reading somewhere about you having disability. I have no idea how I managed to mix up and come up with blindness. I can try to say my account was hijacked or my kids were writing on my behalf  but true is its one of those moments when I think its time for me to ask a doctor for professional help with my mental disorder.   

[OlgaH]

Olga, I have to ask: what is the purpose of your intentional following me from one thread to another and making up stories about my personal life? Where exactly I complained about unsuccessful dating?! 

Actually, Vasilisa, my reply was addressed to Boethius. Why you decided my reply fits to you it is only up to you. But as a proverb goes: if the shoe fits... 

[Vasilisa]

Olga, I am teeling you, girl: I am done with you, just leave me alone and find another victim.
boethius, year, right,  ;Dlike we don't know who you are talking abuut if you didn't mention the name, you can't even be honest and admit pretending instead  like it was not about me at all summarizing my posts for the last 3 days. Thats' pathetic.
Keep yourself busy with something, I know you must miss all those babushkas' arguments in public transportation trying to look nice all the time, so you are probably overwhelmed with dirt inside yourself, but find another victim. FROM ONE POST TO ANOTHER YOU KEEP WRITING THINGS IN A "NICE, POLITE WAY" WHICH MEAN:"POOR VASILISA WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM"
I PUT YOU IN MY IGNORE LIST , BUT I CAN STILL READ ALL THESE PATHETIC CRAP THROUGH OTHER MEMBERS' POSTS.
LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU HIGH SELF-ESTEEM MANY SMILEY  PICTURES GIRL.
GET A LIFE!!!
You can as well start a thread about what a Eastern European woman must look like and share 500 pictures of you as an example. I know you take a lot of them as there is a new one every day in your avatar.
PS: leave me alone, comment on someone else.I may be poor thing with low self esteem, but I had courage enough to get rid of losers in my life, live my life in another country myself without someone else's supporting me all the time  and don't hide behind someone's back! So, get out of my life!!!

[OlgaH]

Vasilisa, some member already mentioned a low self esteem regarding some of your posts. So, I don't know what problem you have with my avatar as I never commented on your look, if you can find any posts by me on your look or Eastern European women look in general you are welcome to show the quotes, otherwise you are making your empty can noise   

I never complain about my country but I see nothing wrong to make some comments about things that I found to have negative sides.