RW: Do you want men to push the sexual envelope on a first meet?

[BillyB]

 

Some time ago, I wrote about planning for a first meeting, and I read a few replies regarding being intimate. So I am wondering what's the importance of being intimate on a first meet? Would the total lack of sex be perceived as a deal-breaker by most women or do most people keep it PG-13?

Go out with the lady as friends and have fun. Don't keep sex on your mind the whole time. Offer your arm for her to hold when walking down the street. Greet and say goodbye to her with a kiss on the cheek. If you don't show you're physically attracted to her, she may think something is wrong with you.
 
If things during the date get to the point of heavy kissing and petting, she will stop you if she doesn't want to go all the way. If she doesn't stop you, you may proceed.
 
 

I haven't discussed sexual history with her or anything, I personally think it's a bit rude, but I get a feeling she's also a little guarded.

If you haven't discussed anything sensitive with her, why is she guarded? She should be happy and excited to talk to you. If she pegged you as her future man, she won't be so guarded even in sensitive topics.
 
 

I'm just looking to meet her and explore her city together. Perhaps on another trip once I know where we stand and if she's serious about the whole thing.

 
You should know before this trip if she's serious about the whole thing. It's easy for the ladies to tell guys, "Sure, come over and visit me" but you're not a pen pal friend. Your clear objective is to find a life partner and that should be her objective too when accepting to meet. No guarantees, just a better opportunity to evaluate each other compared to long distance communication but the long distance communication should have told you a lot and you at this point should feel really good about meeting her with little doubt.

[Misha]

Would the total lack of sex be perceived as a deal-breaker by most women or do most people keep it PG-13?

With the extremely rare exception of the devoutly religious woman, it will all depend as to whether she feels any attraction and passion for you. If she is attracted to you, then she will find it odd that you do not try anything. If she is indifferent to you, then she will be relieved that you did nothing and were content with a peck on the cheek and a warm handshake.

[ML]

If things during the date get to the point of heavy kissing and petting, she will stop you if she doesn't want to go all the way. If she doesn't stop you, you may proceed.

Best would be to type up a sheet that details out the various stages of intimacy.

After each step, get the gal to sign off that she is ready to proceed to the next stage.

That way there is no misunderstanding about how far to proceed.

Keep a pen or pencil nearby to facilitate this; but let it not be a number 2 pencil.

And to save time and effort; smell her ears at the beginning of each date (or better yet, stick your tongue in one ear).  That will alert you to her monthly status.

[2tallbill]

Do what you are comfortable with.  This is part of who you are, and the woman who will be your wife must accept you for who you are.

Most women will wonder about a man who doesn't make a move on them, so if you are pursuing one woman, you may want to tell her you are not an animal, you are not interested in rutting, you want to know a woman well, and have developed some true feelings for her,  before you are interested in making love to her.  The right woman for you will find this acceptable.

+1


I absolutely agree


If you are going WOVO then I would highly recommend following
Bo's advice. If you are going to visit many then I wouldn't even
worry about it until you narrow down the field.


Another variable to consider is how long is your visit and how long will
it be before your next visit.


Generally speaking unless you join a religious meeting group (or go to
Georgia) you aren't going find that many girls who will wait until marriage
to see if you have wood in your pencil. 
[size=78%] [/size]
Udachi !


Bill

[ML]

I have met quiet a few girls where it has been sex after just one hour!! Once I met a really nice girl, I had been communicating with her for a few weeks, she had a very good job, her own apartment. She arrived in her car to meet, within 15 mins she wanted to go back to her place for sex

One gal came from another city to meet with me.  She came from the train station direct to my apartment.  In no more than about 20-30 minutes she said: "I want to go to the bed."

We had talked and hinted suggestively about sex in several emails, so it was not a big surprise that sex would come soon; just not this soon.

She was a highly intelligent gal, head of a large department supervising around 30 people, good salary, well dressed, made lighting fast improvement of English in a few weeks prior to our first meeting and even more improvement quickly after our first meeting.

I spent time with her on 4 different trips.  She had the sex drive of a man with a high testosterone level.

It just happens with a very few gals.  Nothing wrong with them at all.  Actually a curse for them though; just as it is for highly sexed men.

I would still be with her; except she was more volatile than I could handle.

[YoungBuck]

haha, you guys!

I enjoyed the reading your replies to this rather unusual post. I am not trying to Tebow it, a little too late for that, but it is more for practical reasons.  You know, my upbringing was old school, so that factors into it, but I really do want something more than a penpal or a tour guide and I find that sex messes with my mind.

Having said that, I am not going to get weirded out by it, but I was under the impression that Russians were old school too. Her family is from the countryside, and recently moved to Voronezh. Perhaps I'm a stupid fool, but if I were to reject a woman's sexual advances, even if I tell her my spiel, she'll shelve me. It is just that sex is so formulaic, ie by the 3rd date you are supposed to have sex, and usually I have no feelings for the girl.

I spoke with her a little about relationships, but she hasnt fully opened. I think she's waiting for the first meet because frankly these are conversations better had in person. Yet, I'm pretty bummed none of the resident Russian women replied though.

I guess I'll find out soon enough

[ML]

Yet, I'm pretty bummed none of the resident Russian women replied though.

Two FSUW did respond:  Pitbull and Boethius.

[Boethius]

Two FSUW did respond:  Pitbull and Boethius.

I'm not an FSUW.   


Although FSU mentality is different from that of the West, in emotional approaches, people are generally similar world over.

[ML]

I'm not an FSUW.   

Well, you are a woman; and you did spend time in the FSU.

But wait; I am a man and I have spent time in the FSU!

It's all too confusing.

[GQBlues]

Fcuking Rule #1:

Just be prepared. This is certainly not something you try to plan on. Be vigilant and most especially, be a *reactionist*.

For instance, when you find yourself in those moments where you are alone with her...and in the middle of your conversation she all of the sudden partly closes her eyes, tilts her head, gently opens her mouth and slightly slides her tongue out...

DO NOT jump at the sight, but rather wait and be cool...

...then react to say 'Bless You'.

Never, ever, say this before she sneezes otherwise you'd annoy her so much and you'd likely blown your chances of getting laid later.

[LAman]

Well, you are a woman; and you did spend time in the FSU.

But wait; I am a man and I have spent time in the FSU!

It's all too confusing.

Wait.....you got half of that right!!!

[steveboy]

One gal came from another city to meet with me.  She came from the train station direct to my apartment.  In no more than about 20-30 minutes she said: "I want to go to the bed."

We had talked and hinted suggestively about sex in several emails, so it was not a big surprise that sex would come soon; just not this soon.

She was a highly intelligent gal, head of a large department supervising around 30 people, good salary, well dressed, made lighting fast improvement of English in a few weeks prior to our first meeting and even more improvement quickly after our first meeting.

I spent time with her on 4 different trips.  She had the sex drive of a man with a high testosterone level.

It just happens with a very few gals.  Nothing wrong with them at all.  Actually a curse for them though; just as it is for highly sexed men.

I would still be with her; except she was more volatile than I could handle.

Those ones usually are very volatile I met a girl on Bride.ru a long time back I could see by her pics she was doing a little more than working in a bar in Zurich , so flew out to meet her the following week. Turned out she was I high class hooker, had a really great time and she had a great personality. No sex. I just landed up being her lap dog for the weekend, and carrying her shopping. She was in and out of Channel all weekend

[GQBlues]

So...was it worth packing the *elevated rugged topside ridges* model that guarantees her pleasure or did they even see the light of day out of your suitcase?

Preeservateeevs

 

[SANDRO43]

She was in and out of Channel all weekend

A dedicated swimmer, too ?

[ML]

So how did it go with pushing the sexual envelope; or not?

Just wondering.

[YoungBuck]

So how did it go with pushing the sexual envelope; or not?

Just wondering.

With the original girl I visited, it was a total nuclear meltdown, as you saw from my post. I was making her laugh to break down her cold approach, but even though she would smile, she still said that we don't match. This is after having lunch. She say my pictures, etc. and I don't think she thought I was hideous. She just continuously kept on saying she was nervous, and she wanted the perfect guy or nothing, that I wasnt perfect for her, our personality wouldnt match, etc.
From a girl I met afterwards, I was able to flirt a lot, made out some, and got her contact info. She was pretty cute, but she isn't all accomplished like my original target. I still will keep in touch with her because I said when I go back, I'd like to continue to hang out. She was a lot of fun, not uptight or anything, young and with a nice rack too.
I just need to do some thinking since the women I want, don't want me, and the ones that I can get, I don't really want (as a wife) because I was looking for university educated girls.

[2tallbill]

With the original girl I visited, it was a total nuclear meltdown, as you saw from my post.

Ok, wake up and smell the coffee,


Total nuclear meltdown?


Did she dump a bottle of red wine over your head? and spit at you?
Did she scream obscenities at you, questioning if you had your testicles
removed at birth?
Did she send you a hundred venomous sms describing your shortcomings
and your likeliness to spend the rest of your life alone.
Did she suggest you join a group of monks who gave vows of celibacy and
silence?


NONE of those things happened. You didn't have chemistry. Time to put on
your big boy pants and move on.

I just need to do some thinking since the women I want, don't want me, and the ones that I can get, I don't really want (as a wife) because I was looking for university educated girls.

Youngbuck, the beautiful, intelligent, educated and sexy girls are going to
marry somebody, why not you?

This is a numbers game. There is a beautiful, interesting, educated, sexy
girl who is your soul mate out there waiting anxiously for you to find her.

Unfortunately you don't know which girl she is. The only way to find the
future Mrs Youngbuck is to sift through a HUGE amount of Olga's, Elena's
and Sveta's who are not the future Mrs Youngbuck.

This is a numbers game. You have to write hundreds (many thousands in my
case), you have to be like the girl who tossed you aside. If the girl is not
for you reject her immediately, you are doing yourself both a favor by not
wasting her time or yours.

Write a nice rejection letter now, telling some future girl that you haven't
even made contact with yet how she is not for you, however you wish her
good health, success, happiness, love and romance.

Keep this rejection letter handy and use it frequently, grow a bit thicker
skin. 

OR

You can probably hire a guide like Eduard to help you along. Ed, will send
out hundreds of letters on your behalf, help you sift them down etc.

OR

You can rely on luck. Like the lottery is sometimes works but most don't

Udachi !


Bill

[onlyFSU4me]

Did she dump a bottle of red wine over your head? and spit at you?
Did she scream obscenities at you, questioning if you had your testicles
removed at birth?
Did she send you a hundred venomous sms describing your shortcomings
and your likeliness to spend the rest of your life alone.
Did she suggest you join a group of monks who gave vows of celibacy and
silence?
[size=78%] [/size]

 You aren't talking from personal experiences here, are you Bill?   

[Anotherkiwi]

 You aren't talking from personal experiences here, are you Bill?   

You beat me to it! 

[TomT]

You aren't talking from personal experiences here, are you Bill?
 

I had a ringside seat for his roasting on Antidate; that was pretty ugly.

[Gator]

I had a ringside seat for his roasting on Antidate; that was pretty ugly.

I thought it vicious and unjustified.  It changed my attitude about AD. 

[TomT]

Getting some western men in the search to interact with the girls seemed like a good idea at first but the honeymoon didn't last.

[2tallbill]

 You aren't talking from personal experiences here, are you Bill?   

I've experienced a thermonuclear meltdown for sure.
I've also been rejected because the lack of chemistry.


Youngbuck experienced the lack of chemistry rejection variety.


My advice that followed is based on experience.

[2tallbill]

I thought it vicious and unjustified.

I've chatted with Kvinna and made peace. I've moved on and
put all that behind me.


Udachi!


Bill

[Gator]

My advice that followed is based on experience.

That was obvious because you can't make that stuff up.
 
Red ink?       Any symbolism, or was it just nearby when the meltdown occurred?