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Author Topic: Trench's Questions and Philosophies  (Read 167281 times)

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Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1475 on: May 19, 2018, 02:48:18 AM »
Well in response to the above I still earned 10 times more a year than the last girl I was with. While that would be good salary for Ukraine, here it would not be. As Jumper I think said above you can live of not a good salary quite ok. The UK tends to come with the benefit of a decent welfare state for the woman to aid this. So the NHS is free for all, dentistry can be had cheap and a wife can inherit at least a large part of her husbands State Pension, etc. So as long as the guy has some financial backing it's not too bad.

I think Boe is right in security being the big issue with probably most Ukrainian women. They are in  situation where there is little of that so if they can be reassured they are moving to a situation with the better security they no doubt crave its probably the thing to most bear in mind. I think switching between two countries has its merits but will probably falk foul of the security issue and will unsettle a FSW even if in reality there is not such a problem. I think the last girl I was with thought that anything other than living in the UK for me then I would be giving up a good job and hence security and this weighed heavily on her mind in dismissing being with me any where other than the UK. Again it was another cultural difference I didn't understand at the time since being in the UK we are more adventurous with random changes of direction in lifestyle such as can be seen on TV with series such as 'A place on the Sun' where couples & families leave behind the UK for sunnier climates elsewhere to live their life. Though some of such people are admittedly retired.
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Offline Jumper

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1476 on: May 19, 2018, 07:49:49 AM »
Jumper, throughout TC's posts is a paranoia about being used as a mule, a casual misogyny, excuses about the faults of UK women, and a list of traits his wife needs - no desire for education (as he doesn't wish to fund it), must be willing to work in a menial job, must be willing to dress sexy to give him an instant erection, must be willing to cook and clean, must bear children shortly after marriage so that she is "tied" to him while working in a dead end job which will fund her clothing budget.  So, other than the potential lack of alcohol abuse an FSUM offers, what, exactly, is the big advantage to an FSUW in marrying TC?  At least with an FSUM, even if she is poor, she is in her own country, surrounded by family, living in a culture she understands and where she will not be viewed as a foreign interloper.  If things go sour in her FSU marriage, she has her family around her.  Sorry, but most FSUW are not marrying foreigners solely out of love.  They either desire a Western lifestyle, or Western values for themselves or their children.  Were it not so, over 50% of these marriages would not fail.

I'd also ask, if a male suitor came calling on your daughter, and exhibited the traits listed in my first run on sentence, would you, as a parent, think, "Wow, this is a marriage that will stand the test of time.  I would really like to see my daughter married to a man who makes a less than average wage, expects my daughter to work, but only in something menial so he can control her, and will discourage further education."  I understand people have different expectations and desires in life, but, is this realistic?  Is it fair?

I may sound "hard" on TC, and I don't wish him ill will (nor do I for anyone), but his own mindset and the limitations of his expectations will defeat him.  If he had a far different mentality, his lack of money probably would be less of an issue.

We agree, I stated his views on *why* she shouldn't work are the issue.
My point was a family dynamic where she does not work,certainly isn't a turn off in most cases, the *why* he doesn't want her to work would be.

That is what he most needs to work on most,not his finances.
I keep seeing comments that he doesn't make enough,or getting better situated in life to be more attractive to a woman.
Sure those are pluses, but far outweighed by his mentality, so much so that if he had 50 times the assets and salary he currently has , it would only further assure he would get used.
The mentality is what is killing his chances with a sincere woman, and if that isnt changed money would likely increase the problem,not solve it.
If TC can gain a different outlook ,it would increase his chances with a sincere woman far more than the financial side.
Yes that could help him as well,but the underlying issue isn't financial.
Poor folk marry daily.
I'm living proof lol

TC you are looking for answers ,
Hopefully we all are ,as
there is always room to improve.
I think you'll improve your odds over time.

Try and lose the thoughts that if  she's from dumpsk,  anywhere in the UK has to be better.Or she only made this, so a crapoy job in UK is better.
That is not putting yourself in her shoes,nor is it how you think about someone you love.
I know romantic notions seem downgraded here,but I'm telling you plainly
If you dont win her heart,then it's a mere transaction and unlikely to be lasting.

In her shoes,would you love a man that doesn't adore you? Love (not infatuation or lust) is generally a bit
conditional,no not on finances or security ,but on the other person feeling the same.
Unrequited love is pretty unlikely to lead to marriage.

You'll need to be able to fall for someone if you expect them to fall for you. You are unlikely to win their heart if they dont have yours
I've yet to see that side of you in your posts. This is what the poorest FSU man likely has over you already besides a common language and culture ,so I hope you can improve that area.




« Last Edit: May 19, 2018, 08:10:10 AM by Jumper »
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Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1477 on: May 19, 2018, 12:12:10 PM »
His attitudes are from his values.  I don't believe he can change them, or if he can, it will take years.  He can probably find someone in Ukraine currently, but with his values, that relationship will eventually fail.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline alex330

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1478 on: May 19, 2018, 12:21:55 PM »
Maybe if your next attempt fails you should look elsewhere.  One of the guys I work with is getting married to woman from the Philippines. She's a wonderful girl who doesn't exhibit any of the red flags you have problems with.


From what I have read from him this seems like the best route for Trench tbh. I also know several guys that have married Filipinas and the relationship seems more in line with Trench's wants.

Offline Blighty

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1479 on: May 19, 2018, 12:51:57 PM »
His attitudes are from his values.  I don't believe he can change them, or if he can, it will take years.  He can probably find someone in Ukraine currently, but with his values, that relationship will eventually fail.

From his posts, I think TC is very English working class in his attitudes and values. He is very much a product of England, and so cannot be expected to change his approach to life. He just needs some help and guidance in his search. TC needs to think more about what he is seeking from both a partner and relationship. He reminisces about the girl from Kherson, but she was totally unsuitable for him. I know these are just my opinions, but it might help other people to be a little more tolerant towards TC.

Online krimster2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1480 on: May 19, 2018, 01:18:52 PM »
i think you all might be surprised at what Trench might achieve...

I’ll tell y’all a little story...
In Sevastopol they have a little poor imitation of a poor imitation of an American strip mall in some failing rust belt town

it was on my way to my daughter’s school...
one day, when I was walking there, I saw this short, weird, ugly looking little man propositioning every woman who was walking past him
I was a few minutes early, so I could afford to spend some time there
watching what I thought would be the upcoming drama of this guy getting knocked out!
every time he approached a woman she would get a disgusted look on her face and turn away
I was just waiting for him to be KO’d when this beautiful elegant 40+ yr old blond begins
to walk towards him
he approaches her, she stops in front of him and stares directly at him
he talks to her for about 60 seconds
very graphic sexual talk
I'm waiting for the fists to start flying...
instead, she turns and the two of them walk away together!

I was in shock...

it’s opposite land in Ukraine
Trench can do it
90% of success there is just showing up...


Offline Boethius

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1481 on: May 19, 2018, 01:59:22 PM »
You are forgetting that single women over 35 in Ukraine are often sex deprived.  I cannot begin to tell you how often my husband was hit on by women seeking a man for a night, or a few hours.  Someone once posted a video here of a RM, in his fifties, a plumber, bragging about how many women were seeking him for a night.  He was overweight, dirty, looked more like Gerard Depardieu with a mustache than Jon Hamm.  Yet he was wined and dined by women as much as he chose!


As for Trench, it is not finding a woman that will be an issue.  It will be keeping her.
To love someone means to see him as God intended him. - Fyodor Dostoevksy

Offline DaveNY

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1482 on: May 19, 2018, 02:10:19 PM »
i think you all might be surprised at what Trench might achieve...

I’ll tell y’all a little story...
In Sevastopol they have a little poor imitation of a poor imitation of an American strip mall in some failing rust belt town

it was on my way to my daughter’s school...
one day, when I was walking there, I saw this short, weird, ugly looking little man propositioning every woman who was walking past him
I was a few minutes early, so I could afford to spend some time there
watching what I thought would be the upcoming drama of this guy getting knocked out!
every time he approached a woman she would get a disgusted look on her face and turn away
I was just waiting for him to be KO’d when this beautiful elegant 40+ yr old blond begins
to walk towards him
he approaches her, she stops in front of him and stares directly at him
he talks to her for about 60 seconds
very graphic sexual talk
I'm waiting for the fists to start flying...
instead, she turns and the two of them walk away together!

I was in shock...

it’s opposite land in Ukraine
Trench can do it
90% of success there is just showing up...

krimster2 what happens when the hot 25 year old (I assuming Trench wants a young FSUW) get to the UK and finds out she'll be living in a small house. Won't be allowed to upgrade her skills to a UK education and won't be allowed a real career? Her life will be limited to cooking, cleaning and taking care of Trench and kids if they have kids and there'll always be a struggle for money?

Getting a date even one that his well outside of your class is by far the easiest part of the relationship. Keeping the relationship going year after year is the far harder part. 

Online krimster2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1483 on: May 19, 2018, 02:22:40 PM »
I had 2 young beautiful women with PHDs hit on me in Sevastopol, one got angry when I declined to go home with her, incredibly flattering at my age 50+
and a lot of young women would give me attention, but hands down the “babe magnet” were my daughters, on the way to and from school, all the young secretaries on their way to/from work would “ohhhhh” and “ahhhh” over us and give us hugs!!!!
we would get a lot of public notice and attention
that at first made me feel uncomfortable
Russians dig on the “dad and daughters” thing
I think many of them had absentee fathers...
whenever my daughters and I went for a picknick together
young Russian women would always ask to join us
and in the interest of Za mir I would be compelled to allow them
I don’t don’t know whether I should feel proud or disappointed that I never “cheated” on my wife, certainly not for lack of opportunity....

Online krimster2

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1484 on: May 19, 2018, 02:27:40 PM »
"krimster2 what happens when the hot 25 year old (I assuming Trench wants a young FSUW) get to the UK and finds out she'll be living in a small house. "

every venture involves some risk
trying, does not guarantee success...
not trying however, does guarantee failure...

just go, and do your best....
said every poor father in parting to his son...

 

Offline alex330

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1485 on: May 19, 2018, 02:38:26 PM »
krimster2 what happens when the hot 25 year old (I assuming Trench wants a young FSUW) get to the UK and finds out she'll be living in a small house. Won't be allowed to upgrade her skills to a UK education and won't be allowed a real career? Her life will be limited to cooking, cleaning and taking care of Trench and kids if they have kids and there'll always be a struggle for money?


The only part of that I believe is an issue with an FSUW is not allowing her to grow. Whether it be skills, education, a career, etc. The rest of it does not matter.

Online BillyB

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1486 on: May 19, 2018, 03:02:52 PM »
  Someone once posted a video here of a RM, in his fifties, a plumber, bragging about how many women were seeking him for a night. 


I'm tired of the stereotype construction workers are only good for their bodies and not their brains. I know a few construction workers that get their bodies used by women. Why don't those women go after nice office guys with soft hands and narrow shoulders?
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Offline ML

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1487 on: May 19, 2018, 03:08:22 PM »
I'm tired of the stereotype construction workers are only good for their bodies and not their brains. I know a few construction workers that get their bodies used by women. Why don't those women go after nice office guys with soft hands and narrow shoulders?

As I understand it, the above stereotype is wrong.

Strong men make weak lovers.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Offline alex330

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1488 on: May 19, 2018, 03:16:55 PM »
As I understand it, the above stereotype is wrong.

Strong men make weak lovers.


I believe the study is that carpenters/construction workers had the most (highest frequency per week) sex. Strong, good with their hands, higher testosterone levels than desk jobs, etc.




Online Trenchcoat

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1489 on: May 19, 2018, 03:20:59 PM »
I'm tired of the stereotype construction workers are only good for their bodies and not their brains. I know a few construction workers that get their bodies used by women. Why don't those women go after nice office guys with soft hands and narrow shoulders?

Problem of working in construction is all the muck. Around where I live the young seem to be all about preening oneself. Even the guys have to be real nancy boys, hair regularly tried to perfection, perfumed and latest fashion to even hope of attracting the women. Construction work wear does not fit into this image - and they wonder why we have a skills shortage in construction in the UK, lol.
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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1490 on: May 19, 2018, 03:26:14 PM »
Jumper, I've noted down what you said above, it's all good stuff and I am considering it carefully. Much appreciate your input on all of this as I think you have a lot of life experience. Quite possibly I may unwittingly not always have a good take on relationships so will look at this a bit more ;)
No Deal is Ideal, It's a Free Britain we want :)

Offline Jumper

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1491 on: May 19, 2018, 07:08:42 PM »
Problem of working in construction is all the muck. Around where I live the young seem to be all about preening oneself. Even the guys have to be real nancy boys, hair regularly tried to perfection, perfumed and latest fashion to even hope of attracting the women. Construction work wear does not fit into this image - and they wonder why we have a skills shortage in construction in the UK, lol.

Lol
I shave when I happen to feel like it, even when dating.i dress for work  work clothes.
Yes if headed to a nice restuarant I'll spruce up.
I am clean, but most every job I've held involves being dirty during the work day.
My hobbies and interests are mostly outside,  the earth, its wonderful.and its made of water and dirt=mud.
  I hope my daughter grows up to love it and not mind her hands dirty, or a working man's hands being dirty (at work)as a sign of respect,not disdain.My wife feels the same.

Get some Clark Kent glasses,treat woman as you yourself woukd wish to be treated. Love children.you'll do just fine.


« Last Edit: May 19, 2018, 07:12:12 PM by Jumper »
.

Offline ML

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1492 on: May 19, 2018, 08:32:09 PM »

  I hope my daughter grows up to love it and not mind her hands dirty, or a working man's hands being dirty (at work)as a sign of respect,not disdain.

Don't you have a teenage son also ?
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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1493 on: May 19, 2018, 09:58:54 PM »
Love children.you'll do just fine.

OMG.. Haven't you noticed ...?

Trench even has BIzarre viewpoints on kids, too

@Blighty - cannot agree with your 'classification' of Trench as typical ...   He mostly brings shame on other UK posters with his 'adviSe'. / opinions. The scary thing is - he is now a 'hero member' - for posting an awful lot of drivel and responding to criticism with more bollox or a woeful sense of humour

« Last Edit: May 20, 2018, 01:37:17 AM by msmob »
No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline Blighty

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1494 on: May 20, 2018, 01:18:51 AM »
@Blighty - cannot agree with your 'classification' of Trench as typical ...   He mostly brings shame on other UK posters with is 'adviSe'.. the scary thing is - he is now a 'hero member' - for posting an awful lot of drivel and responding to criticism with more bollox or a woeful sense of humour

I visualise an 'Andy Capp' character seeking his 'Flo'. I agree that he is self-opinionated and has set himself up as an expert on dating. I have met a lot of northern working class men with similar Stone Age attitudes towards women. TC fits this catagory to a tee as he expects his future wife to be chained to the kitchen sink / bed whilst wearing a pelmet-skirt.

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1495 on: May 20, 2018, 01:59:21 AM »
I visualise an 'Andy Capp' character seeking his 'Flo'. I agree that he is self-opinionated and has set himself up as an expert on dating. I have met a lot of northern working class men with similar Stone Age attitudes towards women. TC fits this catagory to a tee as he expects his future wife to be chained to the kitchen sink / bed whilst wearing a pelmet-skirt.

Says he a mere 'member' ;D
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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1496 on: May 20, 2018, 02:05:04 AM »
Says he a mere 'member' ;D

Quite.... 

I KNEW you'd be proud of having more posts ..

 As I said 'scary'

This is a guy who has spent more than a few hours with only ONE FSU lass -posts bollox 'adviSe'  on dating and is a 'hero'?! ;





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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1497 on: May 20, 2018, 02:06:24 AM »
OMG.. Haven't you noticed ...?

Trench even has BIzarre viewpoints on kids, too

@Blighty - cannot agree with your 'classification' of Trench as typical ...   He mostly brings shame on other UK posters with his 'adviSe'. / opinions. The scary thing is - he is now a 'hero member' - for posting an awful lot of drivel and responding to criticism with more bollox or a woeful sense of humour

What bizarre viewpoints on kids am I supposed to have? Fellow 'hero member' :D

Besides I disagree I think my 'hero member' status is fully justified. I've brought up a lot of topics, problems & issues I think could have helped a lot of people on this search. Without me bringing them up they would have been totally a sea with what was actualky happening to them. Credit where it is due Mobers ;)
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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1498 on: May 20, 2018, 02:28:01 AM »
What bizarre viewpoints on kids am I supposed to have? Fellow 'hero member'

You post SO much drivel - you just can't remember ... 


Besides I disagree I think my 'hero member' status is fully justified. I've brought up a lot of topics, problems & issues I think could have helped a lot of people on this search. Without me bringing them up they would have been totally a sea with what was actualky happening to them. Credit where it is due Mobers ;)

Hardly, you offered ridiculous 'adviSe' to newbies and this thread is a testament to your continued ignorance
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Offline Blighty

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Re: Trench's Questions and Philosophies
« Reply #1499 on: May 20, 2018, 02:34:00 AM »
Says he a mere 'member' ;D

What a stupid comment ... the truth obviously hurts you! You have set yourself up as a sort of 'Brain of Britain' who is an expert on FSU dating. Ever heard of the old saying 'Quality not Quantity'? Well, you do post a load of old cobblers which other Brits can see through.

When I started my search, I was intensely corresponding with six women before my first trip. Why not spend your time finding a future partner, rather than expressing your 'expert' views here on everything from Brexit to FSU dating?

BTW Have ever been to Ukraine? I have visited several times, and noticed in the big cities that most women prefer to wear trousers during their everyday life. Where on earth do you get this idea of them wearing short skirts for you? These are mostly seeking western men for their liberated attitudes towards women, rather than some 'Andy Capp' Numbskull.

 

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