Big City Women vs. Village Girls

[Trenchcoat]

Funny as BC (Jester's) original advice is it may have some merit. Some guys reckon that perhaps around 10 percent of women may be attracted to them. Well put that in reverse that maybe around 10 percent of men are attracted to your lady you bring over. That means potentially in a busy urban environment back home she may have many men hit on her, particularly if she is pretty. If the girl is good enough morally or heavily into you fine but if you have you're shortcomings and she is not keen on them well another guy might be enticing enough for her. Someone who's better socially, a better provider, a better physical appearence, more exciting life, etc. As others have said on here you're essentially the same guy when you go back to your country without the advantages you had when dating in the FSU. Having all these weaknesses exposed for her to see & pick up on over time may not be the best situation. This I think is likely to happen a lot faster in an urban setting. Take the example of the Indel King (The Perfect Bride) situation that was brought up here a while ago - it didn't take her long from being pleased at first with her situation with him to seeing she could do better once she saw what else was around. Had he loved out in the sticks it may have all gobe a lot better for him. Just shows that a woman can change once she sees that her situation is no longer what it was I think.

[civi68]

A deceased friend of mine married a woman from Moscow. She moved with him to small town Texas and it worked for them. I visited Moscow a few times and met some good women. Many were not interested in moving unless their financial/job situation wasn't good. Some would have been fine meeting a guy willing to live there. I found most had a decent financial situation but wanted more options than local men. I also visited cities in Ukraine where some women were more willing to leave. It's sad to say but sometimes it comes down to economics. Moving to another country with a guy is a big step so if the woman's financial or dating situation is not so bad then she might rethink things once reality sets in after meeting men or dating a guy.
     I try to look at this quest as an experience rather than a goal. I drove myself crazy in my early 30's being goal oriented about having to find a woman to marry. It's best to just let things progress and see what happens. A lot of guys find that this is a lot more work than they thought. But it beats dating locally any day!

[Boethius]

Funny as BC (Jester's) original advice is it may have some merit. Some guys reckon that perhaps around 10 percent of women may be attracted to them. Well put that in reverse that maybe around 10 percent of men are attracted to your lady you bring over. That means potentially in a busy urban environment back home she may have many men hit on her, particularly if she is pretty. If the girl is good enough morally or heavily into you fine but if you have you're shortcomings and she is not keen on them well another guy might be enticing enough for her. Someone who's better socially, a better provider, a better physical appearence, more exciting life, etc. As others have said on here you're essentially the same guy when you go back to your country without the advantages you had when dating in the FSU. Having all these weaknesses exposed for her to see & pick up on over time may not be the best situation. This I think is likely to happen a lot faster in an urban setting. Take the example of the Indel King (The Perfect Bride) situation that was brought up here a while ago - it didn't take her long from being pleased at first with her situation with him to seeing she could do better once she saw what else was around. Had he loved out in the sticks it may have all gobe a lot better for him. Just shows that a woman can change once she sees that her situation is no longer what it was I think.

Part of your problem is viewing yourself as having advantages that local men do not have.  You don't, other than possibly a bigger wallet.  If you are so insecure about yourself,  you will never find a quality spouse.

Anastasia King's parents pushed her to marry.  She did not want her marriage.  It was her parents who took a photo of her to a local agency, and screened suitors.  She was not the first Russian bride he had abused, his previous wife had a restraining order against him.  Their age difference was huge - he was 38, she 18 when they married, and physically they were not a match.  Police had been called to their home on several occasions.  He was having sex with their male boarder.  So it's hardly a good case to present as an example of looking for something "better".     

[Trenchcoat]

Part of your problem is viewing yourself as having advantages that local men do not have.  You don't, other than possibly a bigger wallet.  If you are so insecure about yourself,  you will never find a quality spouse.

Anastasia King's parents pushed her to marry.  She did not want her marriage.  It was her parents who took a photo of her to a local agency, and screened suitors.  She was not the first Russian bride he had abused, his previous wife had a restraining order against him.  Their age difference was huge - he was 38, she 18 when they married, and physically they were not a match.  Police had been called to their home on several occasions.  He was having sex with their male boarder.  So it's hardly a good case to present as an example of looking for something "better".     

Boethius on the programme itself about it several of her 'friends'/classmates, etc stated that she was always looking for that something better. She became disillusioned with what Indel had to offer after a while. This seemed to have happen while at collage & work seeing that there was other offerings out there. Her friends, classmates & workmates also dissed Indel which I think really sabotaged their relationship as ithe really eroded any respect she may have had for him. You state they weren't a match physically, the friends etc made the same point, but if it was the other way around a chubby ugly chicken dating a atheletic handsome guy? Would you still be saying the same or stating as my women do that, 'why should that matter'. Situation remains I think that if a girl sees better around her the chances of her sticking with the guy she came over with may not be good. Anastasia could have got pregnant, he wanted it but no she saw there was better than an ugly balding dwarf - better looking, better physically, more wealthy, more ambitious, better socially, etc.

Yes women look abroad for a guy that can support a family and offer a decent lifestyle/comfort level than a cramped room in a concrete tower block. Otherwise they would not even bother and date locally, that is what girls in the UK do, few UK girls go looking for a guy in the FSU, the odd one or two might but not nearly as many as us men. So like it or not I have this advantage, it may not bag me a FSW but it is one many FSW look abroad for.

[msmob]

So like it or not I have this advantage, it may not bag me a FSW but it is one many FSW look abroad for.

No. you don't ...  Your only advantage - in the last case - was your paspsort

[Trenchcoat]

No. you don't ...  Your only advantage - in the last case - was your paspsort

I'll give you that, with the last girl I was with it appears to have been my passport. In general though (aside from this and I'm not sure you'd call it an advantage) it is being able to provide for a family.

[BC]

No. you don't ...  Your only advantage - in the last case - was your paspsort

If it's the passport that counts, my son will do just fine.. he has 4 of 'em.
IRL ITA RUS USA  Everyone in the family has at least two.  Such is getting fairly common nowadays.

Passports and a few bucks will only get ya so far, usually someplace you didn't want to really end up, like in divorce court.

I really think most guys in this venture are just blinded, or feel like they are missing the train, looking for some easier way to get a date instead of looking around their homeland.  If you haven't had a date at home in 6 months or more you probably need to ask why and work on it a bit before thinking about getting on a plane.   

[Boethius]

I agree 100% with BC.  If you can't date at home, then you probably shouldn't be looking abroad.

Boethius on the programme itself about it several of her 'friends'/classmates, etc stated that she was always looking for that something better. She became disillusioned with what Indel had to offer after a while. This seemed to have happen while at collage & work seeing that there was other offerings out there.  Her friends, classmates & workmates also dissed Indel which think really sabotaged their relationship as it really eroded any respect she may have had for him.

She attempted suicide once when married to him, and it is established he was physically violent with her.  Gee, a guy who ends up directing the murder of his wife and dumping her body in the trash was someone with whom she was "disillusioned".  Whod'a thunk?

You state they weren't a match physically, the friends etc made the same point, but if it was the other way around a chubby ugly chicken dating a atheletic handsome guy? Would you still be saying the same or stating as my women do that, 'why should that matter'. Situation remains I think that if a girl sees better around her the chances of her sticking with the guy she came over with may not be good. Anastasia could have got pregnant, he wanted it but no she saw there was better than an ugly balding dwarf - better looking, better physically, more wealthy, more ambitious, better socially, etc.

I have never seen a couple where the wife is decades older than her husband and morbidly obese.  I've seen lots of fat women with fit men, but I suspect at one time, they were physically equals.

Yes women look abroad for a guy that can support a family and offer a decent lifestyle/comfort level than a cramped room in a concrete tower block. Otherwise they would not even bother and date locally, that is what girls in the UK do, few UK girls go looking for a guy in the FSU, the odd one or two might but not nearly as many as us men. So like it or not I have this advantage, it may not bag me a FSW but it is one many FSW look abroad for.

No, that's not the reason they are looking abroad, and this is why you are wasting your time and money in this endeavour.  Your mentality means you are going to fail. 

[2tallbill]

Do you guys notice a difference between the big city and small town women? 
Their attitudes towards foreign men and how receptive they are to a relationship?

My wife lived in a city of a million people, but she loves to garden, can sew,
knit, needle point and other skills. She cans vegetables and makes jams, jellies
and preserves. You can find a girl in the same city who would set off the smoke
alarm when she makes tea.

My wife came to live with me in a little North Dakota town that had very
little of interest in it, but she came to live there with me. Once the oil price
took a dump, I moved to Wyoming and will soon move to Colorado.
She moved to North Dakota to be with me!

So what is my point?
My advice is to find the girl then go to wherever you find her.
If you find a girl in Dumpsk Krapistahn then go to Dumpsk and
learn a little bit of Krapi (the language)

Keep your net wide and your standards high. Never compromise on character
and if you find a good girl and win her heart, she will move to the ends of the
Earth to be with you.

Udachi!

Bill

[Sting23]

Trenchcoat, are you married to a FSU woman now or still looking?

I've read some of your posts and most have a defeatist attitude, and noticed other members observed the same thing.  You seem too worried about someone scamming you or looking for greener pastures.  Perhaps if you became a man that a woman would be proud of you wouldn't have to worry about such things.

[Trenchcoat]

Boethius, the fat women you see with men were ra rely if ever physical equals. Even the thought of it make me laugh. Those men are with fat women because they can't get non-fat women. Why? Because they are so many fat women in UK & US. The choice they have is either fat girl or nothing. Many men like myself choose nothing. Yes, some fat women can be very nice but I do not wish to inflict the fat gene on offspring, I would consider it too cruel to do. That and like most guys I find fat women such a turn off I would bulk at the thought of having sex with them. Not a personal choice but one decided for me by my genetics, some guys are not affected by the thought of it, many are. Fat girls tend to be fathe girls through & through, fit guys tend to be gym/diet fanatics - you really have to watch what you eat and work on your body regularly to get a fit physic, the two lifestyles are light years apart believe me.

Did Anastasia incite him by not playing ball or was he just viloent/angry type who knows. Most people are violent for a reason if she wasn't giving him what he wanted then it may have been making the situation more & more unpleasant and deteriorating over time. From the programme we know she was playing around so I doubt it waS all his doing. End of the day the deal was entered into and she did not play her part, it was an upfront deal she didn't have to accept it.

I don't agree with BC on the if you can't date in you're own country thing. It's not always that straight forward. Good women in UK are in short supply in FSU they are in much better supply since many men cannot provide for family there hence they remain single. Here women are inundated with men and have many propositions to choose from, the only except of course being fat women that are in plentiful supply but few men can stomach the thought of jumping in bed with a fat woman never mind having sex with her it is real gross just thinking of it.

So you tell me Boethius, why are women seeking a guy abroad if not one that can provide for a family? Are there not enough hot men locally?

[Boethius]

Trenchcoat, are you married to a FSU woman now or still looking?

I've read some of your posts and most have a defeatist attitude, and noticed other members observed the same thing.  You seem too worried about someone scamming you or looking for greener pastures.  Perhaps if you became a man that a woman would be proud of you wouldn't have to worry about such things.

It's not a defeatist attitude.  It is an attitude toward women that borders on misogyny.

[Boethius]

Boethius, the fat women you see with men were ra rely if ever physical equals. Even the thought of it make me laugh.

Every single day, I drive across not one, but two university campuses.  I see single young men, single young women, and couples walking those campuses.  I see couples walking home together at the end of the day, often holding hands.  All of these couples, literally hundreds, are all slim and "matched".  I rarely see overweight students of either sex, maybe 1 out of 100.

Our son attends pro sports events.  I drive him there.  When I see couples entering those events, anywhere in age from 20's to 60's, almost all are evenly matched in physical appearance.  I don't see a lot of fat young women.  Women in their forties and beyond, yes.  So I reject your observations.

Those men are with fat women because they can't get non-fat women. Why? Because they are so many fat women in UK & US. The choice they have is either fat girl or nothing. Many men like myself choose nothing.

No, that's an excuse.  Not every UK woman is fat.  You have nothing to offer the attractive UK woman.  You should be looking at yourself first, to determine why that is, why you are incapable of attracting the women you want, rather than making excuses.

Did Anastasia incite him by not playing ball or was he just viloent/angry type who knows. Most people are violent for a reason if she wasn't giving him what he wanted then it may have been making the situation more & more unpleasant and deteriorating over time. From the programme we know she was playing around so I doubt it waS all his doing. End of the day the deal was entered into and she did not play her part, it was an upfront deal she didn't have to accept it.

So you are justifying physical violence, culminating in murder, against a woman because she didn't bend to the will of her husband?  She was not his first MOB, and the first one left him because of domestic abuse allegations.  Anastasia's diary had entries on his abuse.  You seem to find this perfectly acceptable.  That is sick.

I don't agree with BC on the if you can't date in you're own country thing. It's not always that straight forward. Good women in UK are in short supply in FSU they are in much better supply since many men cannot provide for family there hence they remain single. Here women are inundated with men and have many propositions to choose from, the only except of course being fat women that are in plentiful supply but few men can stomach the thought of jumping in bed with a fat woman never mind having sex with her it is real gross just thinking of it.

Well of course you wouldn't.  Because you don't want to shine a light on yourself or examine your own flaws.  See above.

So you tell me Boethius, why are women seeking a guy abroad if not one that can provide for a family? Are there not enough hot men locally?

The attitude toward women is different.  Many, many men will live with a woman, will sleep with her, but have no interest in marrying her.  If a woman is over thirty, or divorced, especially if she has a child, you can, as Ukrainians say, "put a cross on her", meaning she will die alone.  Most women don't want to die alone.

[Doll]

Agree with Boethius

[JayH]

Yes women look abroad for a guy that can support a family and offer a decent lifestyle/comfort level than a cramped room in a concrete tower block. Otherwise they would not even bother and date locally, that is what girls in the UK do, few UK girls go looking for a guy in the FSU, the odd one or two might but not nearly as many as us men. So like it or not I have this advantage, it may not bag me a FSW but it is one many FSW look abroad for.

I don't agree with BC on the if you can't date in you're own country thing. It's not always that straight forward. Good women in UK are in short supply in FSU they are in much better supply since many men cannot provide for family there hence they remain single. Here women are inundated with men and have many propositions to choose from, the only except of course being fat women that are in plentiful supply but few men can stomach the thought of jumping in bed with a fat woman never mind having sex with her it is real gross just thinking of it.

So you tell me Boethius, why are women seeking a guy abroad if not one that can provide for a family? Are there not enough hot men locally?

This guy only keeps keeping on with his nonsense
Some have sort to accuse others of bullying this idiot-- but --he keeps regurgitating stuff he has seen written on this forum ( NOTE --I said written--not understanding). He writes it as if it his his own-- but --his misinterpretation that is repeatedly evident in his posts as he seeks to use his misunderstanding  to support his inane conclusions .

Let me give you an example from today "  level than a cramped room in a concrete tower block"  ---  this is his notion on what is equal to his "saving"  some poor damsel  from her miserable life.  And on that basis any girl should be jumping at him !!!!!!!!!!

I previously asked this guy what type of car he drives--the point being -- it is certainly not going to be much -- by my assessment ! The same goes for where and how he lives --I am pretty sure I would not want to be living in his world- compared to mine . There are plenty of places in England that I could write about in the most derogatory terms  -many I would consider quite inferior lifestyle to Ukraine --- BUT -- is it necessary for me to point that out EVERYTIME this cretin writes condescending insulting misconstrued views about Ukraine( or Russia)? Sure --I am being arrogant -- but it is to illustrate my point.
This point has been made to him on numerous occasions by a number of different people  -- but still he blunders on-- and on-- and on !

For those that have not read this guy--  he has done nothing but whinge and whine about  paying any $ in the process-- from being upset with a girl for not eating all she ordered to buying a few gifts -- let alone the "huge" cost of going all the way from the UK to the UKR  !!

Mrs B did a specific break up of his comments from this thread -- and all good observations.

It's not a defeatist attitude.  It is an attitude toward women that borders on misogyny.

Borders  ? !!!!

He is well beaten before he starts as so much of is overall  attitude is pathetically off !!

[2tallbill]

I don't agree with BC on the if you can't date in you're own country thing. It's not
always that straight forward.

Good women in UK are in short supply in FSU they are in much better supply
since many men cannot provide for family there hence they remain single.

BC, is correct that if you can't find a date in your own country then you will have
problems in the FSU. He is totally correct. The social and interpersonal skills you
need to date a local woman, are just as needed (maybe more) to date a foreign
woman. You've said you could date local girls but most are fat and you don't want
fat.

So BC is correct.

The theory that one can find a high quality woman in the FSU if you have average
or better social skills wasn't disputed.

Good women in UK are in short supply in FSU they are in much better supply
since many men cannot provide for family there hence they remain single.

You interchange good woman with thin woman, but I'm sure you would
stipulate that there are thin women who are the devil himself and likewise
some fat women who are absolute angels.

You are looking for both a thin girl and an angel which are in short supply
locally.

Next you contrast the availability of good, thin, foreign women with
men who are in poverty. You are totally wrong about that. While FSUW
can be very pragmatic, 90%+ of them will fall in love and marry a local
man who makes peanuts. 

You are thinking that your wallet will make you more attractive. 
To a good girl, it certainly helps, but it doesn't even comes close
to the top 5 things that she wants or is looking for.

You want a good girl who won't sell your organs off to the highest
bidder so you need to understand that winning the girls heart is first,
second, third, forth and fifth most important. Your wallet is 74th right
after farting habits (she will think farting outside the bathroom is very
disgusting) but before snoring. If she has a child then your ability to
provide for her moves up to 49th on the list, between having excellent
table manners and having nice shoes.

Your wallet won't help you win her heart. Your efforts to win her heart will.
You don't have to have a silver tongue, just show up and win her affections. 

You think far too much about your wallet. Spend more time thinking about
the first 10 minutes that you meet a woman, both online and in person.
That will be one thousand times more important, when you find a good girl.

Udachi!

Bill

Don't be surprised if you find Gold Diggers if you use money as bait.
Leslied, author of the 10 commandments

[Davo]

 If a woman is over thirty, or divorced, especially if she has a child, you can, as Ukrainians say, "put a cross on her", meaning she will die alone.  Most women don't want to die alone.

This is the comment you should take notice of Trench, since you are looking in this age bracket. It applies in Russia also, even if she has a good job, multiple uni degrees, financially stable etc.... Her prospects are almost non existent.  Despite this you still need to bring your A game, as they know exactly what they need from a man and as bill indicated it's not money. Mine refuses to let me discuss my finances. To quote her... "this is not important if two people love each other". At the end of the day, possessions, money and status can't buy true love. That's what you should be looking for, everything else is semantics. The best advice I've got ( and you should have picked this up from speed dating ) if you can't trigger a chemical reaction that causes attraction, in the first few minutes, online or face to face, you are dead in the water.

Bills points are very good. I think you might be surprised to know that most of the guys who are successful on this site with FSUW, are probably successful at home also. If you don't have the skills at home, you're probably going to only attract similar woman than you have in your country,  but maybe slimmer..... On that point, have you tried to date an over weight woman recently? they are as  picky as slim women, you still have to have some confidence and capture their  interest.

[wallm]

So, 2tallbill, what comes between 5 and 49? I think you are underselling their desire for the man to provide for the family. Providing doesn't mean luxuries and shopping trips like Trench allowed. Providing in the sense of having a comfortable life which I would describe as middle class, like we have here in the US. Considering how the economy is in Ukraine and how low the salaries are and how corrupt the society is, I don't blame the women for wanting a man who can provide for the family and not be an unmotivated loser.

[BC]

I don't agree with BC on the if you can't date in you're own country thing. It's not always that straight forward. Good women in UK are in short supply in FSU they are in much better supply since many men cannot provide for family there hence they remain single. Here women are inundated with men and have many propositions to choose from, the only except of course being fat women that are in plentiful supply but few men can stomach the thought of jumping in bed with a fat woman never mind having sex with her it is real gross just thinking of it.

So you tell me Boethius, why are women seeking a guy abroad if not one that can provide for a family? Are there not enough hot men locally?

Trench,

Read the bold part, you've caved in, hooked by the advertising, already given up at home and nothing more. Next, you'll say there is an oversupply of young, thin beautiful women in FSU because all FSU men are alcoholics.  That's more BS you like to hear that isn't very true.  WWII was long ago, too long ago to have any effect today.  Book a flight to Moscow or other FSU city without all the FSUW dating BS.  According to your statements here seems you shouldn't need such.  Get a 'real' feel of goings-on and see if normal women on the street are flocking all over foreign guys looking for one to marry and not just after some cash in your wallet. Sure, you might attract some attention... Perfect Prey comes to mind.. not them, you.

[JayH]

So, 2tallbill, what comes between 5 and 49? I think you are underselling their desire for the man to provide for the family. Providing doesn't mean luxuries and shopping trips like Trench allowed. Providing in the sense of having a comfortable life which I would describe as middle class, like we have here in the US. Considering how the economy is in Ukraine and how low the salaries are and how corrupt the society is, I don't blame the women for wanting a man who can provide for the family and not be an unmotivated loser.

Wanting security and a better life does not equal abandoning all common sense.

If the unmotivated loser comment is being aimed at Ukrainian men in general  -- you are ( & have often been)close to getting as sidetracked as Trenchcoat. What life has handed to people in Ukraine is not of their own choosing -- the fact is that most people ( men included) are prepared to do whatever they have to do to improve their lot in life.The economic difficulties create a lot of social problems -  there is no argument about that. In case you may not have noticed-- a lot of good Ukrainians have been killed and are dying every day in the cause to improve Ukraine .Only with the ignorance of a Donald Trump could you call them unmotivated losers. Oh--While I am at it--Trump,corruption ,America,glass house  --ring any bells?


BC's satire upthread -- all too close to the attitudes we too often see expressed on forum.
« Reply #5 on: Yesterday at 01:04:56 PM »
http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=22237.0

[GQBlues]

What Trench is trying to tell all of you is, like most MOBers, he is a social loser at home. Nary a woman desires to be close to his shadow, much less actually allow him to touch them. Hence, since most of you are MOB experts, he is convinced sharing his stripes with everyone and everyday that he'd be in the comfort of his pack.

Saying all women at home are fat is the normal battle cry of every MOBers. C'mon, you all declared the same crap not too long ago (lol), amongst a few others. So cheer the bloke out and rally behind his effort for going to an impoverish region like Ukraine and get himself one of demwimmen so he can at least be just like the 'boys', Instead of trying to bully the kid. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be conversing with someone who reminds you of yourselves too much.

[Boethius]

The best advice I've got ( and you should have picked this up from speed dating ) if you can't trigger a chemical reaction that causes attraction, in the first few minutes, online or face to face, you are dead in the water.

I disagree with this, from personal experience.

[Davo]

I disagree with this, from personal experience.

I won't argue with you as we all have different opinions  ,  but as a woman you would have had guys that just captivate you in the first minute or so? You wouldn't walk away from a guy like that to talk to someone who hasn't caught your attention

[Trenchcoat]

No, that's an excuse.  Not every UK woman is fat.  You have nothing to offer the attractive UK woman.  You should be looking at yourself first, to determine why that is, why you are incapable of attracting the women you want, rather than making excuses.

The attitude toward women is different.  Many, many men will live with a woman, will sleep with her, but have no interest in marrying her.  If a woman is over thirty, or divorced, especially if she has a child, you can, as Ukrainians say, "put a cross on her", meaning she will die alone.  Most women don't want to die alone.

Not every woman in the UK is fat but there are now many fat women in the UK. Like I said though fat women are an instant turn off for men, physically they are real gross to look at and most men are very visual beings. I've no doubt they still think the world of themselves and that some gut should have to tick all their boxes like other women but most of them fail to recognise that they are in no position to be picky and hence remain single.

Well you state that women in their thirties that are single ate likely to remain so, but why is this? Surely this is falling into the MOB industry mantra that there are more women than men or men cannot support the women/provide for family. If it is just a case if attitude that the guys out there want to be playboys I would like to know how this comes about. In UK most guys know if they don't commit to a girl unless they are extrovert & highly socially skilled etc they may struggle to get another one. Decent (by which I mean not fat) women are in short supply here, they don't go begging. Here women in their thirties can easily find a man, maybe not one that ticks all their boxes but plenty for them to chose from. A man at any age in UK can really struggle to find one (unless he is extrovert/socially skilled ) even if he is decent looking & have one or two things going for him.

[Trenchcoat]

Everything

Sure Davo, but what about the women in their thirties without children. I see plenty of them on dating sites, many quite pretty and in UK they would not be short of guys to chose from. According to Boethius though they face being left on the shelf. Most women consider a good man as one who can provide so if not that then what.