league and age gaps

[jb]

I'm just curious as to how long before you guys get tired of talking to the gate post.  He isn't listening.

[Hub]

The truth is that you will not be accepted by either age group of friends.  In the older group, the guys will be fine and you may even get a few "atta boys" but their wives will make sure you will not be involved in their social circle in the future.  The younger group of friends will not only not be able to understand the young woman's love for the older guy, but will constantly try to tempt her to stray.  Everyone will assume it is a marriage based on money, position and immigration, love will never be guessed.
KenC

Now this is pretty interesting as well as sad and worrisome.  So Ken (and other in this situation) are you saying that (as a couple) you really can't have much in the way of friends?

[Hub]

Interesting reading these different threads on various topics.  We have a few (maybe many) guys/gals here who get quite emotional in presenting their views.  In many instances these people justify their tenacity in presenting and re-presenting unendingly their views because they claim they are trying to . . . help the newbies avoid some potential pitfalls.

However, these claims of altruism just really don't add up in many instances.  It is not very realistic to think that someone would really be that worried about saving a virtually unknown person from making a potential mistake.

In the current case of such heated discussions regarding a specific couple (Turbo and VWRW), I think objective people can see where this vitriol cannot be explained by 'trying to help newbies' or that the posters are really that personally concerned at all about what life will be like for the two of them.

In fact, it is pretty clear that many of those who are supposedly trying to help Turbo and VWRW avoid making some terrible mistake, actually do not really personally like either Turbo or VWRW.  So it is a little hard to believe that they are trying to be of some help in an altristic sense.

I think in truth that it just really bugs many to see the extreme age gap match up (for probably many and various reasons) and for others they are just plain jealous.  So when something bugs a person a lot, the best that they can hope for is that the situation just go away.  In this case, they are hoping that Turbo and VWRW will split up so the cognitive dissonance for themselves will be eliminated.

These two are each far above the minimum age of consent.  Let them do what they want and let's wish them the best.

I do not have a large age gap with my current lady and am not promoting such.

[KenC]

Quote from: KenC on Today at 09:55:10 AM

The truth is that you will not be accepted by either age group of friends.  In the older group, the guys will be fine and you may even get a few "atta boys" but their wives will make sure you will not be involved in their social circle in the future.  The younger group of friends will not only not be able to understand the young woman's love for the older guy, but will constantly try to tempt her to stray.  Everyone will assume it is a marriage based on money, position and immigration, love will never be guessed.
KenC

"Now this is pretty interesting as well as sad and worrisome.  So Ken (and other in this situation) are you saying that (as a couple) you really can't have much in the way of friends?"

Hub,
A couple with a large age gap marriage will most likely be ostrocized from the friends in both age groups as a couple, yes.  Of course there will be some exceptions, but the marriage will also effect relationships with relatives too.
KenC

[KenC]

Interesting reading these different threads on various topics.  We have a few (maybe many) guys/gals here who get quite emotional in presenting their views.  In many instances these people justify their tenacity in presenting and re-presenting unendingly their views because they claim they are trying to . . . help the newbies avoid some potential pitfalls.

However, these claims of altruism just really don't add up in many instances.  It is not very realistic to think that someone would really be that worried about saving a virtually unknown person from making a potential mistake.

In the current case of such heated discussions regarding a specific couple (Turbo and VWRW), I think objective people can see where this vitriol cannot be explained by 'trying to help newbies' or that the posters are really that personally concerned at all about what life will be like for the two of them.

In fact, it is pretty clear that many of those who are supposedly trying to help Turbo and VWRW avoid making some terrible mistake, actually do not really personally like either Turbo or VWRW.  So it is a little hard to believe that they are trying to be of some help in an altristic sense.

I think in truth that it just really bugs many to see the extreme age gap match up (for probably many and various reasons) and for others they are just plain jealous.  So when something bugs a person a lot, the best that they can hope for is that the situation just go away.  In this case, they are hoping that Turbo and VWRW will split up so the cognitive dissonance for themselves will be eliminated.

I do not have a large age gap with my current lady and am not promoting such.

Hub,
I will not speak for others, but I will say in my case you are way off target with this post.  I sincerely like Turbo, but will always bust his balls when he comes up with some cock and bull justification for his relationship with VWRW.  I certainly do not wish them any ill will in any way and jealousy certainly is not an issue either.
KenC

[Misha]

Quote from: KenC on Today at 09:55:10 AM
"Now this is pretty interesting as well as sad and worrisome.  So Ken (and other in this situation) are you saying that (as a couple) you really can't have much in the way of friends?"

Hub,
A couple with a large age gap marriage will most likely be ostrocized from the friends in both age groups as a couple, yes.  Of course there will be some exceptions, but the marriage will also effect relationships with relatives too.
KenC

Ken, may I ask you a question? I believe you indicated that you had adult children. How do they take it? You may have answered this already in another thread, so I apologize if I am being repetitive.

[Turboguy]

Scott,
Turbo's questions have been answered a hundred times over, he just doesn't like the answers and chooses not to understand them.  He must think I make this sh!t up?  Believe me, I have lived the answers I give, they are not theories, but real life experiences.
KenC

I have to disagree with that Ken.  Yes, now we are starting to talk about what I was interested in hearing more about.  I think it is interesting and something that needed to be discussed and may help alert some newbies to the perils of a marriage with a younger women.

I'm just curious as to how long before you guys get tired of talking to the gate post.  He isn't listening.

jb, I listen.  I was not asking advice and not looking for any advice.  I was looking for information.  Now we are getting some information about the subject.  I think that is great.  

It's clear that you two have made the decision, for better or for worse, and nothing we say is going to change that.  You are both adults and have the right to choose your own lives. Pointing out the pitfalls may be good for others in the beginning stages of thinking about finding a wife with a big age gap, but for you this needed to have been done 11 years ago.  We here are all certainly wishing for the best for you. We would love to see one of those "exceptions" actually be an exception.  Just don't look for cheerleaders.

Yes of course we have Scott.  Have you seen me ask anyone what we should do?

Isn't it amazing how, when someone doesn't get the answers they want, they claim that their question wasn't understood?  TG, no matter how many ways you phrase the question, the answers are going to be the same and probably not to your liking.  

Scott, the answers were fine, they just did not deal with the question I asked until lately.  We are now discussing some of the issues that I was asking about and as much as the age difference thing has been discussed here and elsewhere I have not seen these particular facets of the issue discussed so I think this is good.

[BC]

I'm just curious as to how long before you guys get tired of talking to the gate post.  He isn't listening.

Yeah it is kinda tough for those that admit being exceptions to point out to wannabe exceptions that using other exceptional relationships to help prove to the exceptions that the chances of their relationship also being an exception is quite exceptional using rationale of 'exceptional circumstances'.  Add an exceptionally long record of striving for the exception and you sorta get the picture.

[Turboguy]

Quoting Kuna: So... You're 70 married to a 45 yr old... Turbo is 70 and married to a 32 yr old...  guess who's head is in a noose???

Kuna, it seems that the right answer is - BOTH 

Why would my head be in any more of a noose at 70 married to a 32 year old than at 65 married to a 27 year old?

[KenC]

Ken, may I ask you a question? I believe you indicated that you had adult children. How do they take it? You may have answered this already in another thread, so I apologize if I am being repetitive.

gabaub,
My daughter who is about the same age as Lena had absolutely no problems with it at all.  In fact she loved introducing Lena as her step mom!  When my exwife (her mom) asked how her father's Russian adoption was going?  My daughter answered "Great!  I think he is going to adopt a Russian boy next."

My son had a little more difficult time with our relationship.  I believe he was worried that his dad was being taken for a ride, but over the years he too has become close with Lena.
KenC

[vwrw]

VWRW,
Just for you, I will go through Kuna's list.

[) As Scott says you will slow down much faster than vwrv.  You might think at this stage you will keep up with her but you can't.  The problem here is that you are likely to begrudge her newfound life, friends associates (and maybe lovers) when you are sitting at home knitting or baking cakes.  Her life won't and shouldn't stop because you can't keep up... This will happen.
Unfortunately, I went through some health issues earlier this year.  During that period of time, I came face to face with what it might be like later in my life and it wasn't pretty.  Lena took excellant care of me and I didn't hear a whimper, but I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for what she may go through down the road.

2) You're going to have to face constant speculation and sometimes ridicule because you've not broken the social norms... You've smashed them.  You might say you can ignore this but add it up day by day, month by month and it will probably be a factor (not for you.. but her).
One can say that they don't care what others think about their marriage, but it simply isn't true.  We all interact with other people all through our lives and the stares and snickers get terribly old quickly.  Kuna is right on the money with his comments except that this ridicule will be a burden for both the man and woman, not just her.

3) Men are going to look at you and look at her and think they can get a bit of "stuff" on the side.  Of course she won't be tempted but as you slow down and she is feeling unfulfilled things may change. Fact: the number of men a nd women cheating on each other is about equal now... What type of woman do you think cheats?  I reckon one emotionally and socially unfulfilled is more likely.  I've seen you joke about Viagra but keeping a woman interested for the long term needs much more than chemically assisted sex.
We have had guys hit on Lena right to my face.  The cheating angle has not come into play due to our strong love, trust and confidence.  Lena is of very high moral caliber as is all her family.
4) She may strike a great opportunity in life (business, career, etc) and really want to grasp it.  You may not be in a position to travel with her and keep up with her because age has caught up.  You won't be able share that with her and that will be difficult to accept as time passes. How are you going to feel when she is grasping that opportunity but you can only watch?  How will she feel if you ask her to let go of her opportunity because you can't keep up.  I know you have grand plans for her success in the US.  Perhaps you will regret this in future...
Compatibilities of careers is a very tricky deal especially in age gap marriages because the couple is at different ends of their career paths.  Much compromise is necessary in this area.
5) Whilst your life is winding down hers will be speeding up.  Two people will be moving away from each other whether they mean to or not.  The only way to avoid this is to get her to slow down in her life to the same speed as yours.  That is unfair and unreasonable.  If she doesn't you'll have to accept she will have a business life, social life and life away from you, and then the risks will skyrocket.
This too is right on target.  It takes an exceptional amount of trust and love to work through the differences.  I think we handled this the right way, with putting Lena's career plans on hold for a few years, but that again is a lot to ask for.
6) You will get tired of socialising with her friends because they do things you don't understand or appreciate.  Everyone should have friends but if you tie her to your friends (people of your age) it will drive her crazy eventually.  If she develops her own friendships it will probably drive you crazy eventually.  You're just in different stages of life  and that will create a divide.

The truth is that you will not be accepted by either age group of friends.  In the older group, the guys will be fine and you may even get a few "atta boys" but their wives will make sure you will not be involved in their social circle in the future.  The younger group of friends will not only not be able to understand the young woman's love for the older guy, but will constantly try to tempt her to stray.  Everyone will assume it is a marriage based on money, position and immigration, love will never be guessed.
KenC

KenC thank you for you answer.
#1. Do you know that by statistic data women usually have a long life than men do? Thus, we may assume that many wives will live longer than their husbands (even if they have no any age gap). Therefore wives will have to care of their husbands down the road. So this difficulty is NOT just age gap problem, right?

#2 No objections.

#3 Woman either has or has not the moral values. If woman has the high moral caliber she will deny cheating either her husband is young or old. So this difficulty is NOT caused by age gap, right?

#4 I am agreed that matter of careers is a very tricky deal and much compromise is necessary in this area.  However I want a career… I will want it and it is NOT essential how old my husband is. Hence, this difficulty is NOT caused by age gap, right?

#5 There are young women who like slow style of life who will have pleasure in doing nothing (reading magazines, visiting beauty salon, watching TV and other similar things) I think this difficulty happens rather due to one has chose a incompatible partner for life than age gap.

#6 It is funny. Almost one year ago one of members in PM said me word for word what you said under # 6. I am wondering if he help you to write this post   

Kenc, I find home – sitting - girls to be boring. All my friends are career – oriented people. They are too busy people to think what the reasons why I chose Turbo. And if I would have found friends in America they will be the same kind of people – too busy to gossip.   

People are not born truth- seekers. Most people usually are satisfied with the most obvious answers when they are looking for reasons of their difficulties. And I think most difficulties of age gap relationship are NOT caused by age gap.

[WmGO]

I think that it is funny that this thread was
started by a fellow that has never been to FSUland.....

[ScottinCrimea]

Interesting reading these different threads on various topics.  We have a few (maybe many) guys/gals here who get quite emotional in presenting their views.  In many instances these people justify their tenacity in presenting and re-presenting unendingly their views because they claim they are trying to . . . help the newbies avoid some potential pitfalls.

However, these claims of altruism just really don't add up in many instances.  It is not very realistic to think that someone would really be that worried about saving a virtually unknown person from making a potential mistake.

In the current case of such heated discussions regarding a specific couple (Turbo and VWRW), I think objective people can see where this vitriol cannot be explained by 'trying to help newbies' or that the posters are really that personally concerned at all about what life will be like for the two of them.

In fact, it is pretty clear that many of those who are supposedly trying to help Turbo and VWRW avoid making some terrible mistake, actually do not really personally like either Turbo or VWRW.  So it is a little hard to believe that they are trying to be of some help in an altristic sense.

I think in truth that it just really bugs many to see the extreme age gap match up (for probably many and various reasons) and for others they are just plain jealous.  So when something bugs a person a lot, the best that they can hope for is that the situation just go away.  In this case, they are hoping that Turbo and VWRW will split up so the cognitive dissonance for themselves will be eliminated.

These two are each far above the minimum age of consent.  Let them do what they want and let's wish them the best.

I do not have a large age gap with my current lady and am not promoting such.

I agree with KenC that this post was say off target.  Maybe you haven't been here long enough to know the characters of the people involved.  I for one certainly am not jealous, I have no ill feelings toward either Turbo or vwrw and I certainly know that my opinions will be ignored by the two mentioned.  Maybe after so many years in the ER I like to try to prevent accidents rather than having to deal with the consequences.  I'm certainly sorry that altruism is dead in your world.

[Turboguy]

VWRW,
Just for you, I will go through Kuna's list.

[) As Scott says you will slow down much faster than vwrw.  You might think at this stage you will keep up with her but you can't.  The problem here is that you are likely to begrudge her newfound life, friends associates (and maybe lovers) when you are sitting at home knitting or baking cakes.  Her life won't and shouldn't stop because you can't keep up... This will happen.

Why would I begrudge her new life.  I am planning to do all I can to help her get it I want her to enjoy it.  Do I really have to take up baking cakes, how about wood carving or basket weaving?

Unfortunately, I went through some health issues earlier this year.  During that period of time, I came face to face with what it might be like later in my life and it wasn't pretty.  Lena took excellent care of me and I didn't hear a whimper, but I felt a tremendous amount of guilt for what she may go through down the road.

I can relate to that.  I went through a health episode last year. fortunately I am as good as new but when you have gone though your life with one trip to the hospital at age 8 for tonsils and hardly had a sick day in your life other than a few colds a serious medical problem does make you think a little more and to realize the fragility of life.  As far as the guilt part, perhaps I am selfish but I have not felt any at all.

2) You're going to have to face constant speculation and sometimes ridicule because you've not broken the social norms... You've smashed them.  You might say you can ignore this but add it up day by day, month by month and it will probably be a factor (not for you.. but her).

Since it will be a factor for her but not me as you say then if she wants to worry about it she can.   Just think how much more interesting their lives will be with something more to talk about.

One can say that they don't care what others think about their marriage, but it simply isn't true.  We all interact with other people all through our lives and the stares and snickers get terribly old quickly.  Kuna is right on the money with his comments except that this ridicule will be a burden for both the man and woman, not just her.

Yes, I am sure they will.  We both think it is funny.  

3) Men are going to look at you and look at her and think they can get a bit of "stuff" on the side.  Of course she won't be tempted but as you slow down and she is feeling unfulfilled things may change. Fact: the number of men a nd women cheating on each other is about equal now... What type of woman do you think cheats?  I reckon one emotionally and socially unfulfilled is more likely.  I've seen you joke about Viagra but keeping a woman interested for the long term needs much more than chemically assisted sex.

I don't recall joking about Viagra.  It probably works better if the number of men and women cheating on each other is equal.   I have to agree totally that the biggest cause of people being unfaithful is when they are emotionally unfulfilled.   Physically unfulfilled might have to do with age but emotionally seems to me that it would be less of a corelation.

4) She may strike a great opportunity in life (business, career, etc) and really want to grasp it.  You may not be in a position to travel with her and keep up with her because age has caught up.  You won't be able share that with her and that will be difficult to accept as time passes. How are you going to feel when she is grasping that opportunity but you can only watch?  How will she feel if you ask her to let go of her opportunity because you can't keep up.  I know you have grand plans for her success in the US.  Perhaps you will regret this in future...

Of course it is possible I will regret it.  Still, I don't expect to be asking her to pass any opportunities.  Her achieving the goals she has is important to me.   Remember she is closer to a feminist than a traditional woman.   Yes, there are going to be some limitations.  I am locked into this area with my business.   If she had a job offer in San Diego that might not fly.  Well, let me say Minneapolis would not anyway, San Diego maybe if the job was good enough I would close up shop, be a beach bum and bake cakes for her.  Might be fun being a kept man.Compatibilities of careers is a very tricky deal especially in age gap marriages because the couple is at different ends of their career paths.  Much compromise is necessary in this area.
5) Whilst your life is winding down hers will be speeding up.  Two people will be moving away from each other whether they mean to or not.  The only way to avoid this is to get her to slow down in her life to the same speed as yours.  That is unfair and unreasonable.  If she doesn't you'll have to accept she will have a business life, social life and life away from you, and then the risks will skyrocket.

The plan is for her to have a business life away from me if that is what she continues to want.   That is fine for me and I am sure she will have some new friends where ever she goes.

This too is right on target.  It takes an exceptional amount of trust and love to work through the differences.  I think we handled this the right way, with putting Lena's career plans on hold for a few years, but that again is a lot to ask for.
6) You will get tired of socialising with her friends because they do things you don't understand or appreciate.  Everyone should have friends but if you tie her to your friends (people of your age) it will drive her crazy eventually.  If she develops her own friendships it will probably drive you crazy eventually.  You're just in different stages of life  and that will create a divide.


For us putting VWRW's career on hold would be the wrong thing.  Everyone is different and there is no right and wrong.    Friends are friends.   I think a lot of Russian women tend to have different friends than their husbands.  If it drives me crazy it is a short drive.  

The truth is that you will not be accepted by either age group of friends.  In the older group, the guys will be fine and you may even get a few "atta boys" but their wives will make sure you will not be involved in their social circle in the future.  The younger group of friends will not only not be able to understand the young woman's love for the older guy, but will constantly try to tempt her to stray.  Everyone will assume it is a marriage based on money, position and immigration, love will never be guessed.

The only friend I worry about is my best friend and I don't worry about her (VWRW).  I have an advantage.  As I have said before most of my friends either work for me or try to sell me something.   KenC

Hope the blue font is ok.   I was going to do it in big blue type but I think someone has a patent on that.

Most people usually are satisfied with the most obvious answers when they are looking for reasons of their difficulties. And I think most difficulties of age gap relationship are NOT caused by age gap.

I am not discounting the potential problems of an age gap realionship but is seems to me that a number of the issues are not totally age related.  

Scott, it is not that we will ignore your opinions.  It is much more that we passed the decision stage eon's ago.   There is nothing to decide so we just accept your opinions as your feelings on the subject and thank you for expressing them.   I am sure there will be some newbies who read your thoughts and that it will open vast insights to them and perhaps save them from making a big mistake. 

[ScottinCrimea]

It sounds like a great business deal, at least for her.

[KenC]

KenC thank you for you answer.
#1. Do you know that by statistic data women usually have a long life than men do? Thus, we may assume that many wives will live longer than their husbands (even if they have no any age gap). Therefore wives will have to care of their husbands down the road. So this difficulty is NOT just age gap problem, right?

Sorry, your logic doesn't wash here.  Even though you are correct in that women usually outlive their mates, in a similar age marriage they are both aging and they both will have to face health issues.  A large disparity in age only magnifies this situation.  While his health is failing the young wife will be full of energy and looking for new challenges in life, not staying home playing nursemaid.

#2 No objections.

good

#3 Woman either has or has not the moral values. If woman has the high moral caliber she will deny cheating either her husband is young or old. So this difficulty is NOT caused by age gap, right?

Although there is some truth to your words, the temptations will even be greater in an age gap marriage.  With less companionship in physical activities, a reducing sex drive and possible health issues are just some of the reasons this can become a real issue.

#4 I am agreed that matter of careers is a very tricky deal and much compromise is necessary in this area.  However I want a career… I will want it and it is NOT essential how old my husband is. Hence, this difficulty is NOT caused by age gap, right?

Wrong!  When a similar age couple are building their careers together, they will share the same experieces and learn from each other.  In an age gap marriage, one career is likely winding down and another ramping up.  They have very little in common.

#5 There are young women who like slow style of life who will have pleasure in doing nothing (reading magazines, visiting beauty salon, watching TV and other similar things) I think this difficulty happens rather due to one has chose a incompatible partner for life than age gap.

The women that behave as you site are usually older women not young women.  Look, right now Turbo is all charged up and in love (lust?) with you.  I am sure he is full of energy in the times you spend together.  But what will happen when you get to Beaver Falls?  When he is more comfortable around you?  Turbo might be the most active 67 year old man in the world, but he will never be a 28 year old ever again.  You don't seem like the "couch potatoe" type at all and Turbo might not be on your limited times together, but his age will catch up probably sooner than later.

#6 It is funny. Almost one year ago one of members in PM said me word for word what you said under # 6. I am wondering if he help you to write this post   

Tell me how funny it is when you are sitting in Beaver Falls suffering from social isolation and have no friends.

Kenc, I find home – sitting - girls to be boring. All my friends are career – oriented people. They are too busy people to think what the reasons why I chose Turbo. And if I would have found friends in America they will be the same kind of people – too busy to gossip.   

 
Good luck with that (review #6)  How long that "Turbo" energy will hold out is anyone's guess.

People are not born truth- seekers. Most people usually are satisfied with the most obvious answers when they are looking for reasons of their difficulties. And I think most difficulties of age gap relationship are NOT caused by age gap.

And I disagree.  But what do I know?  Unlike your theories regarding this issue, I have only experienced it first hand over a period of more than 8 years!
KenC

[Kuna]

Interesting reading these different threads on various topics.  We have a few (maybe many) guys/gals here who get quite emotional in presenting their views.  In many instances these people justify their tenacity in presenting and re-presenting unendingly their views because they claim they are trying to . . . help the newbies avoid some potential pitfalls.

However, these claims of altruism just really don't add up in many instances.  It is not very realistic to think that someone would really be that worried about saving a virtually unknown person from making a potential mistake.

hub,

You can doubt my intentions (I'm the one that said that) but the fact is that I benefited greatly from advice I received here before my first trip and I do want to help others who are seeking similar things to what I found.  You might be surprised how many PM's I get asking specific or private questions.  I always try to answer (and feel just a tinge of guilt over one I remember I didn't get around to) and in most cases I try to give a detailed answer. Hell, I've even called a member while he was in Ukraine because he was in a bit of a spot and I felt it was best to talk than type.

In the current case of such heated discussions regarding a specific couple (Turbo and VWRW), I think objective people can see where this vitriol cannot be explained by 'trying to help newbies' or that the posters are really that personally concerned at all about what life will be like for the two of them.

In fact, it is pretty clear that many of those who are supposedly trying to help Turbo and VWRW avoid making some terrible mistake, actually do not really personally like either Turbo or VWRW.  So it is a little hard to believe that they are trying to be of some help in an altristic sense.

I don't think anyone is trying to help "the happy couple" anymore because they realise they are beyond help.  Turbo asks questions and gets answers but his intent only seems to be "practice at justifying the unjustifiable".  Have you noticed how the REAL experienced heads don't answer him anymore?  I'm not one of his peers but I thought I would attempt to give him some answers even though I knew he would just turn on the "crap tap" and spill more deluded drivel all over the joint.  He's an adult and has the right to do whatever he wants.  If no one challenged him though some other old desperate man will come in here one day and use him as a posterchild.  

This community needs to spread factual information...  Only some will understand the facts though.

Oh, and I do not dislike Turbo.  I think he is a "nice" man but I think he is foolish. I think he will do ANYTHING he feels he has to do to achieve what he was searching for over an 11 year period.  I think he will sacrifice MANY things in his personal life to try to sustain the emotional high he is feeling.  Not too long ago he perpetuated vwrw's lies, deception and attacks on another female member and even then didn't see the dangers of his actions.  Again that crap tap was flowing full bore and he's comfortably been able to forget it or justify it.  btw... I never read vwrw's posts (IGNORE) because she has nothing to add that makes any sense or adds any value to me.  I have very few people on ignore but at times one has to say "enough is enough".

I think in truth that it just really bugs many to see the extreme age gap match up (for probably many and various reasons) and for others they are just plain jealous.  So when something bugs a person a lot, the best that they can hope for is that the situation just go away.  In this case, they are hoping that Turbo and VWRW will split up so the cognitive dissonance for themselves will be eliminated.

These two are each far above the minimum age of consent.  Let them do what they want and let's wish them the best.

I do not have a large age gap with my current lady and am not promoting such.

There's nothing about this relationship that anyone should envy or be jealous of.  Honestly, just read about Turbo's last K-1 and see the same language he uses now...  The end result is all to obvious to anyone who's realistic.

Kuna

[Kuna]

 

Oh Turbo... and you wonder why people won't respond to your superficial questions...  you're really a piece of work and I feel so sorry for you.  It's actually very sad... 

[neo]

Problem with turbos is they suffer from a lot of lag and take a lot of time ot get on full boost, then when you the lmiter you lose all the boost pressure out the exhaust when the dump valve blows off.

What you really want is a decent V8 with a lot of torque, a nice V10 with a lot of power to get to the top end or a V12 for strength and musicality.

ill grant you if you mate a turbo to a flat four then they have a certain appeal over rough ground but you need to short shift and keep the revs up all the time or you'll lose traction and probably fly off the track.

Turbos can be more econimical than their big engined counterparts and deliver the same horsepower, but whereas your big capacity Vee will deliver that horsepower in any situation if you blow the turbo what you are basically left with is a low powered 4 that can't keep up and go the distance.

You could try a supercharger, but that just delivers one outragous hike in power with no control, you could even try twin turbos to even out the power delivery across the entire band, and you have to watch your turbo temperature, overheat them and they can crack -  but fact is for balance, long endurance and outright power you need a good F1 V10.

I guess KenC is the F1 V10 to TurboGuys Rally flat 4. TG can do lots of short 3 miler special stages over differnet terrain and rough ground and get a good stage time in but KenC has done the full 70 laps 200 mile  2 hour marathon but of course maybe only on a nice smooth pavement compared to TG's rock strewn forest track.

Both might with their respective races but both are clearly powered by different engines and competing in different events over different terrain with different surfaces

just a thought.

and in case you asked, im the crazy dude you see lunge for the first corner at the circuit and go off in a fireball and get to walk home early to shag the pitlane girls.

[Ste]

I'm 21 years older that Nadia, 46, 25, but really it's only when I read threads like these I think 'Christ, I AM old enough to be her father' but so fukin what?
 
I've never had the 'is she ur daughter?' thing, cos of course I look 10 years younger like all we 46 yo's do!! haha!

Thing is it never comes up, and we never think of it. Of course if must, but I'm still waiting for the daughter thing....

Quite looking forward to it...

But the point is we are not old in our forties. When I was a kid folks in their sixties were finished, bodies ruined with hard toil, now, sixty is the new fifty, and I know I feel no different now than 20.

I'm lucky, no hair loss, no grey and no loss of libido, but I put that down to hard drinking and viagra injections...
 

[neo]

I think most russian women lie about their age. my wife decided she wanted to be 19 again on her 25th birthday so was all set to go and hand over some robules to get all her docs amended with a new DOB. i don't think she is alone.

i suspect thats the real truth of why 20' something women dont mind 25 year age gaps. they are really 15 year or 10 year age gaps, the figure we all chase younger women so they just "become" younger women.

They always seem to look much more "mature" in their photos than most english 20 year olds....funny that.....

[Ste]

Dude, help me out with this loser on RWG..

http://www.russianwomenforums.com/topic.cfm?topic=5362&msg=92712#92712

[Turboguy]

Sorry, your logic doesn't wash here.  Even though you are correct in that women usually outlive their mates, in a similar age marriage they are both aging and they both will have to face health issues.  A large disparity in age only magnifies this situation.  While his health is failing the young wife will be full of energy and looking for new challenges in life, not staying home playing nursemaid.

The odds are that will happen but odds and life are two different things.  No one can predict the future.
 

Although there is some truth to your words, the temptations will even be greater in an age gap marriage.  With less companionship in physical activities, a reducing sex drive and possible health issues are just some of the reasons this can become a real issue.Wrong!  When a similar age couple are building their careers together, they will share the same experiences and learn from each other.  In an age gap marriage, one career is likely winding down and another ramping up.  They have very little in common.

 I agree with VWRW, a lot of fidelity is the moral qualities of the person involved.   There are lots of people with a spouse who is their age and attractive who cheat and many in unhappy marriages that would not dream of it.   As far as the other part, in my case I don't plan for my Carree to wind down for another 15 years at least.  Actually now that I don't have to go running all over the world I am having fun ramping it up.  I agree that what you are talking about can happen.   In our case I don't see it happening.  Yes that can be the case where she has her career and he is watching her on the sidelines as her star starts to shine but in our case I plan to do my best to be part of it and to be involved with the future successes I hope she has.   I see her success as being a bond between us not a wedge.    

The women that behave as you site are usually older women not young women.  Look, right now Turbo is all charged up and in love (lust?) with you.  I am sure he is full of energy in the times you spend together.  But what will happen when you get to Beaver Falls?  When he is more comfortable around you?  Turbo might be the most active 67 year old man in the world, but he will never be a 28 year old ever again.  You don't seem like the "couch potato" type at all and Turbo might not be on your limited times together, but his age will catch up probably sooner than later.
Tell me how funny it is when you are sitting in Beaver Falls suffering from social isolation and have no friends.

VWRW is as far as you can get from a sitting around doing nothing type but she is also pretty far from the "party animal" type as well.   We are probably about as similar as you can get in the kind of life we like and it is not the type of thing I will slow down that much on for a while barring a major health episode which can happen to anyone.   I very much doubt that I will be any different in Beaver Falls than I was anywhere else.  I have no idea why you think that.  

Good luck with that (review #6)  How long that "Turbo" energy will hold out is anyone's guess.And I disagree.  But what do I know?  Unlike your theories regarding this issue, I have only experienced it first hand over a period of more than 8 years!

I don't discount your experience and I asked what some of your experiences had been.   I am glad you shared them.  Still people are people.   You can't say every 30 year old male factory worker married to a stay at home wife 2 years and 3 months younger than him with 2.3 kids will have exactly the same life, enjoy the same things, have the same hobbies and same kind of marriage.  Understanding the issues you have faced is a great learing experience.  We may face the exact same things or worse, and maybe we will face entirely different issues.

I see a lot of people who worry that people will think their wife is their daughter or granddaughter.  Most of the people we have met seem to have taken VWRW to be my wife but we have had two, a kid on the beach at Barbados trying to sell us necklaces who asked if she was my daughter and a little old Indian lady who sold mangos off her tree for her grandson in Barbados.   We went together the first time and I went alone the second.  The second time she said "Oh your daughter or granddaughter must have liked the mangos".  We were laughing our tails off about it.  Everyone is different in what bothers them.  Sometimes being different can add a lot of enjoyment to life.  
KenC

[Turboguy]

hub,

You can doubt my intentions (I'm the one that said that) but the fact is that I benefited greatly from advice I received here before my first trip and I do want to help others who are seeking similar things to what I found.  You might be surprised how many PM's I get asking specific or private questions.

I don't think anyone is trying to help "the happy couple" anymore because they realise they are beyond help.  Turbo asks questions and gets answers but his intent only seems to be "practice at justifying the unjustifiable".  Have you noticed how the REAL experienced heads don't answer him anymore?  I'm not one of his peers but I thought I would attempt to give him some answers even though I knew he would just turn on the "crap tap" and spill more deluded drivel all over the joint.  He's an adult and has the right to do whatever he wants.  If no one challenged him though some other old desperate man will come in here one day and use him as a posterchild.  

There's nothing about this relationship that anyone should envy or be jealous of.  Honestly, just read about Turbo's last K-1 and see the same language he uses now...  The end result is all to obvious to anyone who's realistic.

Kuna

Kuna,  Without repeating the comment I made the other day that you objected to where in the world did you get the idea that the things I posted were "asking for advice"   Yes, looking for information,  Yes, commenting about the questions or statements of others.   Yes, bored and enjoying participating in this community.  The other thing I am not trying to do is justify my actions.   I have no need to justify my actions.  I enjoy participating here but I have no need for approval and don't expect it. 

As I have stated many times, even once a few hours ago.  The decision is made.  I have no interest in wavering or reconsidering.  It is a done deal as far as the decision stage.  Since you don't seem to realize this I will repeat it.

It is a done deal as far as the decision stage.
It is a done deal as far as the decision stage.
It is a done deal as far as the decision stage.
It is a done deal as far as the decision stage.
It is a done deal as far as the decision stage.

Just in case TP has the right idea

It is a done deal as far as the decision stage.

And in case that doesn't work

It is a done deal as far as the decision stage.

[vwrw]

Sorry, your logic doesn't wash here.  Even though you are correct in that women usually outlive their mates, in a similar age marriage they are both aging and they both will have to face health issues.  A large disparity in age only magnifies this situation.  While his health is failing the young wife will be full of energy and looking for new challenges in life, not staying home playing nursemaid.
 
good
Although there is some truth to your words, the temptations will even be greater in an age gap marriage.  With less companionship in physical activities, a reducing sex drive and possible health issues are just some of the reasons this can become a real issue.Wrong!  When a similar age couple are building their careers together, they will share the same experieces and learn from each other.  In an age gap marriage, one career is likely winding down and another ramping up.  They have very little in common.
 
The women that behave as you site are usually older women not young women.  Look, right now Turbo is all charged up and in love (lust?) with you.  I am sure he is full of energy in the times you spend together.  But what will happen when you get to Beaver Falls?  When he is more comfortable around you?  Turbo might be the most active 67 year old man in the world, but he will never be a 28 year old ever again.  You don't seem like the "couch potatoe" type at all and Turbo might not be on your limited times together, but his age will catch up probably sooner than later.
Tell me how funny it is when you are sitting in Beaver Falls suffering from social isolation and have no friends.
 
Good luck with that (review #6)  How long that "Turbo" energy will hold out is anyone's guess.And I disagree.  But what do I know?  Unlike your theories regarding this issue, I have only experienced it first hand over a period of more than 8 years!
KenC

You really have first hand experience over a period of more than 8 years! I just wonder why you do NOT use your experience to support your own advice (for others) to avoid age gap relationship if you say the advice is based on your experience.

 Look at your objections to my comments. They are built by method “what if” and the following words after “what if” are opposite to your experience.

#1 what if young wife will not staying home playing nursemaid in opposition the fact that your wife took care of you.

 Yes, everything may happen and a younger wife may be reluctant to playing nursemaid. On the other hand the same age wife also may be reluctant to playing nursemaid; there are lazy women OR be unable to do that.
Thus, the fear a wife will not be playing nursemaid may live at heart of a man who is not at age gap relationship as well. Hence this difficulty is not caused by age gap.

#3 What if a young wife will cheat…again in opposition to your own experience. What if the wife will satisfy herself by herself and she will not cheat her husband 
 Method “what if” works well when you need to threaten or to elate children. The method does not work if one tries to use it as a foundation for his argument.

#4 if I remember correctly none of your wives worked. So what you think about how the career will influence on a couple is just an assumptions which can be right, as well as wrong.

#5 if I say you what I would do at Beaver Falls in which way it will help you to support your argument that only older women like the slow style of life who will have pleasure in doing nothing (reading magazines, visiting beauty salon, watching TV and other similar things)

KenC, after analyzing all the arguments you brought as the reasons why one should avoid the age gap relationship so as it has made your marriage to be so difficult I can agree only with one thing- it is difficult thing to live under the social pressure.

However, any case thank you KenC and JB and Scottin for your attempts to enlighten others that marriage with RW is a lot of work and one should think by his big head if his future marriage will be able withstand the additional load of the social pressure