Once Upon A Time...

[Jumper]

thanks for taking the threat seriously!  lol

and seriously ,it is a good read , and thanks for taking the time!

You know, I hear that the harder part starts after your lady arrives.  Apparently, the difficulties involve spending days at the beach with a beautiful Ukrainian lady....  If that's "the hard part", bring it on!     

myrddn-
 Odds are if you marry a RW,  she will be into foods /drink, nature (forest and beaches)
 cooking out in the forest or park, going to the beach,wityh picnic lunch  (kind of like visiting the daucha) are all part of our weekly summer routine.
while i like the beach, I normally take a jet ski to stave off boredom..
as she can stay there easily all day..
and she normally points out all the most beautiful girls to me, so overall .no it's not a bad deal lol
 

[SANDRO43]

The soundtrack in this place is a curious mixture.  I think at one point I hear something in Russian to the tune of Dean Martin’s “Sway”, enough that I have to play it for her.  She likes the song, but doesn’t seem to understand what I’m talking about, or possibly thinks my musical ear is impaired (I waited through most of the song first, and if it wasn’t to the tune of “Sway”, it definitely “sampled”!).

Like this ?

[myrddin]

The soundtrack in this place is a curious mixture.  I think at one point I hear something in Russian to the tune of Dean Martin’s “Sway”, enough that I have to play it for her.  She likes the song, but doesn’t seem to understand what I’m talking about, or possibly thinks my musical ear is impaired (I waited through most of the song first, and if it wasn’t to the tune of “Sway”, it definitely “sampled”!). 

Like this ?

I can definitely recognize that one!  But the song I heard had lyrics, and they were in Russian.  Or possibly Ukrainian.  I assumed I was imagining it the first 6 times it hit very familiar points, but I heard the music of the chorus several times.

[myrddin]

AJ, no one will believe this now but I really did hope to finish it this week. Even before the threats got ugly!   

We shall see...

[SANDRO43]

I can definitely recognize that one!  But the song I heard had lyrics, and they were in Russian.  Or possibly Ukrainian.  I assumed I was imagining it the first 6 times it hit very familiar points, but I heard the music of the chorus several times.

Here's Dean Martin's rhumba version (1954 ?):
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsgL35RCGcc[/youtube]
But I prefer Bobby Ridell's later 1960 cha-cha version, though this YouTube sample is very bad (I still have its 45 rpm vynil ):
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbgztT6YytI[/youtube]

[myrddin]

The version on my iPod is that Dean Martin one.  If I can find a better copy of the Bobby Ridell version, maybe I'd prefer that.    But I doubt either of them ever sang it in Russian!

[SANDRO43]

The version on my iPod is that Dean Martin one.  If I can find a better copy of the Bobby Ridell version, maybe I'd prefer that. 

It's closer to the author's original version, Pablo Beltràn Ruiz's Quién serà:
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hti_DB9nyZM[/youtube]

[myrddin]

Very cool. And there's precedent for switching languages, too!

[myrddin]

Alas, it is time for them to leave.  They seem more worried about me getting back to my place after seeing them off than the safety of two young women at night.  I am not sure what to make of this, but clearly they are both more comfortable leaving me here and I don’t want to aggravate the ladies so I don’t press any more.  It is time to say goodbye to both and goodnight to Lady C.

At the end of this date I have a problem.  It is absolutely unbelievable to me that I could be so much into two very different women at the same time.  I am naturally a one woman man.  Growing feelings for one woman precluded developing them for another. It’s like each of them represents one half of my identity, Lady E the scientific and Lady C the literary.  I’ve never had to choose between those parts before.

Taz calls and I try to explain this to him but it’s just possible that I am not expressing myself all that well since it’s harder to edit spoken words.  He has to reach through the phone and slap me around.  As I’ve been trying to remind myself, there is no commitment yet.  If the worst problem in your life is that, someday, sometime in the future, you have to choose between two absolutely amazing, beautiful, incredible women (and a more minor problem is that you didn’t give OTHER amazing ladies more of a chance!), the very least you can do is to not whine about it!

In fact, I mentioned to R that I haven’t forgotten about Lady A she says she told her that I had gone to Crimea.  I am thinking she is smooth, but I don’t feel entirely comfortable with this ... well, deception.  I refuse to rationalize by the fact that I was very worried about getting sick, with all this sleeplessness, and that *I* never spoke any lies, especially when something I actually did say (though not directly to the lady) could easily be seen as worse.  My dedication to brutal, hurtful honesty could have been catastrophic.  

It feels like smoothness is absolutely necessary.  And I always know that the ladies could be seeing other men.  One date, or even a few dates, is not a commitment.  I truly am okay with it both ways.  But I would absolutely agonize over the issue.  Taz can confirm about 1/100 of it.

Taz says he will give me as much time for goodbyes tomorrow as he can, but he doesn’t want to push the long drive back to Kiev too late in the day.  I write some more before going to sleep properly for a change.

[myrddin]

    Last Morning in Mari

I’ve just gotten ready and I am thinking about how to approach my last few hours here.  As my mind chugs along, I get a call from Lady C, who is outside my building again.  She says she talked to R to get some English help.  Apparently her cousins have a problem (not a huge emergency, but something that requires her to go meet them soon).  She came to say her goodbyes in person, but she only has a few minutes.  Before I know it, she is off to catch her bus.

Another call from Taz, who needs his phone cards soon, and a brief update.  He offers to push the departure time back a bit more if I need it.  After that I finally get Lady E’s number from R.  When I call Lady E, she is on her way out of town to her mother’s.  There is no way I can see her again in person.  When she says, “Is very bad,” the pain in her voice reflects what’s inside me.  So we say our goodbyes on the phone as well as we can.

The trip is almost over, even though I will be in Ukraine for over 24 more hours.  I’m packed and ready to go.  Nothing to do but wait.  Taz’s bag finally showed up and he’s cramming a week’s worth of effort into a few hours to get through all the stuff he brought in that thing.  Around midday he takes a break to bring me over to his place so I can at least wait somewhere else.  There’s little I can do to help. 

Lana is making full use of her English to try to draw out of me which lady I like more and I really can’t say.  I saw Lady C a lot more than Lady E, but when the question comes up directly I can’t decide.  All I know is that I will continue to talk to both.  I am already deep into mental preparations for my next trip in a few months.  There are many weeks to go and no doubt some things will become clearer.  I’d really rather concentrate on one lady at this point, but the more I think about each the more I like her.  It’s uncharted territory for me.

She is pleased to discover that I have my own xootr and she is “practicing” a bit around the apartment while Taz is working on a hundred things at once yet again.  I’m guessing she had a significant influence on our plans before leaving that day.

[myrddin]

    Xootrs in the Afternoon

We go to Swisskid's building.  In that courtyard are some old men playing chess, a couple kids on a swingset, and a model sitting in front of a building.  I’m wondering why they’d do a magazine or a movie shoot here.  Slowly, it dawns on me (all realizations dawned on me slowly this trip, it’s really quite annoying), that I never got a good look at Swisskid’s lady “Zana” before.

Eventually Swisskids emerges and I have a reason to take a picture.  And not only can you tell when an FSUW is into you, you can also tell when she’s into your friend.  They look really good together.

Once again the car is fully loaded.  “Zana” must catch a bus to go home, so we’ll drop her off at the stop.  There, she and Swisskid make an embarrassing scene of their goodbye (just kidding!  ).  Actually it was bittersweet, though I tried not to stare and spent the time wrapped up internally in my own recent goodbyes.

It’s a beautiful day and we can’t resist a trip back to a park to ride the xootrs.  That’s where five wedding parties are moving for their pictures (and when that picture Taz put in the gallery was taken - most of the bridesmaids fall into the “smokin’ hotkova” category). 

A lot of people (including those bridesmaids) are fascinated with the xootrs and want to take them for a spin.  If there is such a thing as karma, it has to be good for a bride to be on your xootr on her wedding day.  As much fun as that hour or two was, though, I wished I could somehow trade it for even five more minutes with Lady E.

[myrddin]

Seemingly appropriately, there are a few drops of rain to end that time, so we pack up again.  Taz has one more gift to get for Lana and her mom, and then plans to drop off Lana at her place (waaaay on the outskirts of town, in the wrong direction, and hard to find).  Then hit the road for Zap and back to Kiev.  Even I know this won’t go as quickly as he plans.  I do get a chance to catch up with Swisskid about his trip and impressions of the country.  I’m not too jealous about missing Crimea anymore.  I know I will back and I will see it someday.

[myrddin]

There’s one more task: settling up with one of the apartment managers.  Unfortunately, this guy has chosen an obscure and far place to meet.  It turns out to be the place where I had dinner with Lady H, but even if I had known that I didn’t know how to get there.  Finally, but much too soon, we are on our way out of Mari.

The road to Zap is surprisingly uneventful and very reflective.  We actually make good time, though we’ve left hours later than originally planned.

It sounds like things went well for all of us.  And we make our secret evil pact to draw out all the T/Rs as long as possible to maximize the frustration and annoyance of anyone who is actually interested in them.     Seriously, though, we all had great trips, even though they were all different in terms of the relationships.

In Zap it’s quite late when we find JD and add his baggage (physical and otherwise) to the car.  He’s got an even darker cloud than usual, and he says he will never return to Ukraine.  With apologies, though, it is not my place to tell his tale (I don’t even know most of it!).  From what I heard later secondhand (he said nothing else about his experiences), he did get scr*wed over and it wasn’t all his fault.  But it’s hard to forget how often that used to happen to me when I insisted on keeping my own dark clouds.

[myrddin]

We’d stop at McD’s in Zap again.  Taz wants to eat there instead of one the road.  The place is crowded.  There is something different about the way people interact with each other, not that I don’t see it in the US, but perhaps people here only have close friends.  One girl carries her friend (who apparently has a broken ankle) all the way up the stairs, smiling the whole time.  Perhaps here there aren’t as many “degrees” of friendship.

On the way from Zap to Kiev, we stop a few times, far away from a town, with hardly any light pollution and at least 2,000 visible stars instead of the paltry few hundred I can usually see.  It distracts me from thoughts of two exquisite ladies for a few seconds.  But really, I wish one of them was here to share it.

[topofthekey]

very awesome trip report. i'm looking forward to your next report and seeing which lady you end up with.

[myrddin]

JD has an earlier flight, and with disappearing roads and “construction” and various obstacles, we barely get him to the airport in that two-hour window.  The dawn on my true last day in Ukraine is coming.  I hate to say it, and I wish I had more time with the ladies, but I probably need those hours just to begin processing everything that happened.  I don’t know if I’ll ever finish, but I have a whole lot to think about.

It’s too late to return to a hotel, so we drive around the city.  It’s so many hours later that it’s time to eat again (McD’s - once again my last food on the ground!). 

Some of the night clubs are just closing and there are several ladies around.  I must have 200 pictures from Kiev, in some odd attempt to make up a little for having so few in Mari.  It is a beautiful city and I will also be back to see more of it someday!  But most of my pictures don’t come out very well because my camera still isn’t too fond of me. 

[myrddin]

We finally stop for a while at a park overlooking the beach and much of the city.  The only others present at this early hour are a couple of street dogs.

There we all have some repacking to do.  I finish mine before them (could be I’m just sloppier), so I’m back to writing and reflecting.  It’s just a matter of waiting to return to the airport now.

[myrddin]

The car’s condition must be satisfactory, though nothing goes quickly.  I send a message to Ladies E and C to let them know I am okay and will soon be out of Kiev. 

Thanks to Taz,we get a taste of the Northwest lounge.  Briefly, because there’s not a whole lot of time before our flight.  Waiting in line at security, I receive a nice send-off message from Lady C. Even though it’s many hours since I’ve considered this trip over, it seems like I’m on the plane to Amsterdam before I know it.

I have some pictures and a chance to see some of Taz’s.  I admit some of the jealousy returns, including the fact that I need to learn how to use a camera!  I am concerned that the type of people who think accidents mean things will think that only having pictures of Lady C means something in itself.  I know they look pretty good, and I don’t want to have to convince people that the pics with Lady E would be as good if not better, if I had any!

Taz has become almost an advocate of Lady C, he seems concerned I’ll dismiss her without a fair chance because I am into Lady E so much.  What he doesn’t seem to understand is that, as much as he likes her, I like her even more.  And I think Lady E just a bit more than that.  Maybe.  I know I will talk to both from the States, but I can’t stop trying to figure things out now.

[myrddin]

   Not a circle but a rising spiral

Swisskid takes a different flight from Amsterdam, so the stages of ending continue and we say goodbye to him.

The flight is uneventful.  I’m sure we need more sleep than we’re getting, because it’s impossible not to look back.  Landing and reclaiming baggage goes fine, if never quickly.  And a trip doesn’t really end until you get home (and if it’s good, it never completely ends at all!) 

On all reflection, the trip was amazing.  It is literally unbelievable to me, which is one reason I miss those pictures so much.  No matter what happens, it will always remain an unbelievable trip.  I’m just trying to figure out what I want to happen, and with these choices it is not easy.

I can’t let go of those wonderings.  But every so often I am capable of looking back at those last few days before the trip, when I wondered if I would (ever) meet anyone.  When I was hoping to feel nothing more than a sense of history in a place my ancestors once lived. 

Instead, I have had the time of my life.  I have dated women I likely wouldn’t even have gone after at home, and had positive results.  I have enjoyed more high quality female attention than I can recall in years.  I am infatuated with two different women, and it does not seem that I can make a truly wrong choice.  The only issue is which is better.  I can see a future on the horizon getting closer, that I had recently thought was slipping away. 

And I have changed.  My life has changed.  My biggest worries are about things I dare not even think about a few months ago.

I never imagined that I could actually be so completely infatuated with two different women at the same time.  I can see how amazing both of them are, and I wonder if they’d consider coverting to Mormonism (jk! Yikes, I’ve got some inkling of what life will be like trying to handle *one* UW!  I hope Karma doesn’t kick me in the a$$ for that one... ).  I can see a future with either, and I worry excessively about how to choose.  I know things may resolve themselves over time, but I fear I might have some considerable guilt until they do.

One thing I consider is the story itself.  (This is why I always play a big jackpot slot very early in Vegas – sure I probably won’t win, but IF I ever did, it would be a good story to do it right off (or just before getting on the plane to leave, but typically reality has a weaker grip on the way TO the Strip ).  Which is the better story?  The lady with whom it all started off amazing and got better?  Or the one whom I thought was not as into me who kept steadily climbing higher and higher?

I first spoke of fate with the first lady I met.  I do not believe in predestination, but memories are always tinted by the future, the moreso the further those memories are.  Within all that reflection and memory about Ladies E and C, one of the stupidest thoughts that ever disgraced my brain flashes by: if I had seen Lady A again, I could be stuck with three great ladies on my mind....

[myrddin]

That’s the end of my first trip to Ukraine.  I knew I could go on for a long time, but I really didn’t expect it to take quite so long.  Really!  No need to go into detail about Taz’s flight out of Chicago being canceled (twice) and finally getting him on the way home the next morning before work.  But that did give me a chance to finally take him to dinner while he was stuck in Chicago. 

As I’ve said before, I am not a big drinker, but for the first time I can remember I truly wanted a drink to celebrate, and there was nothing more appropriate than a vodka martini.

I’ve come home, but I am in a very different place.

[myrddin]

    Afterword

Usually when I get back from a vacation, there is a sadness of a good time coming to an end.  I don’t want to go back to my old life.  But this time I know: I can’t go back to my old life.  This has not just changed my life, it’s changed my whole world.

I know that everyone’s mileage will vary, and no one should treat this endeavor as a solution to other problems.  But, for me, the whole adventure was better than years of therapy and a dozen self-help courses.

Maybe I’m unique.  Maybe my hang-ups weren’t really that bad.  Maybe I needed to go through all of that just to be in the position where I could have this experience.

I’ve changed in many ways and it’s all good.  For a long time I’ve struggled to push some attitudes I hold intellectually down into my core.  Confidence that has often eluded me outside of academic pursuits is easier.  My motivation to get and stay in shape will not flag, nor will my motivation to learn Russian, or to advance my career to better support a family someday.  I am simply more comfortable in my own skin.  I remember my dreams much more often, though I do not know what that might signify.

About Mistakes:  Sure, I made mistakes.  And I regret those, I often dwell on the mistakes too much.  How hard would it have been to use my exhaustion as a (true!) excuse on Sunday for the dates I knew would not work out?  Skipping the night club, calling everything else off for Lady E too early, not seeing Lady A again, even not giving Lady D a chance to play me (even though we definitely had a real connection beyond that) - I’ve never been played by a woman like that and I wouldn’t mind knowing exactly what it’s like.  Purely for research purposes.  Going over this T/R makes it hard to forget Lady G, too. 

I lost at least a couple dates to not being proactive enough.  I don’t think it would have been a mistake to see all 5 ladies of mutual interest a second time.  Maybe I would have been more confident in a final decision.  Or maybe my phone bills would be climbing to the stratosphere.  Either way would be good.

I don’t have a wife, or a fiancé, or even a girlfriend.  What I do have is an amazing start to something that could get even better, with some of the most spectacular women I have ever known.  I have no idea what is coming, except that there will be more good times, more bad times, a lot of work, and a lot of rewards.  Others have been down this path and gone much further.  Maybe I will, someday. 

For now I have so much to look forward to: calls from the States, fletters, first reunions, strengthening bonds.  Meeting families.  Perhaps even falling in love.

When people ask me how my trip went, my short answer is “phenomenal, amazing, life-altering”.

For the first time in all the years since my grandfather passed away, I face the future with an unfettered sense of anticipation.  I don’t know what’s coming, and it really is great.  I do know that I am at the very beginning of a fantastic adventure.

And whatever happens, I can say with full confidence: I am going to enjoy the ride.

[Jumper]

myrddn-

awesome report.

i know you havnt asked for any advice,
but perhaps you'd not mind some from a guy whos walked in your almost exact shoes a few ukrainian kilometers?

I’d really rather concentrate on one lady at this point, but the more I think about each the more I like her.  It’s uncharted territory for me.

try and relax about the whole situation, as taz advised , the worst scenerio , (that you are fretting about) is that you have to make a tough choice over some time..

the reality is  that although they both may be quite wonderfful in thier own unique way,
the astromomical odds are ,that as you continue to correspond and speak on the phone, one will stand out  as either a better match, or more involved and in tune with you, and all this fretting will be over a moot point.

been there ,done that(yes even the fretting) ,  have the T shirt!
 would you like it in Ukrainian blue or yellow?

I wish you nothing but the best of luck!

 you may feel on a rollercoaster ride, but it is all part and parcel to dating as RW
and you have just been on the parks most mellow ride ..
so it may even get more than a bit more thrilling from here on out !! LOL
hold on tight.. eyes wide open..and try and enjoy the ride.
(and don't drop your camera ,sorry,just  had to add that )

 :evil:

 



 
 

[henryLauson]

My My . . .

What will we all ever do now that this trip report has come to an end.  I myself, over the past weeks, have fallen into a routine.  I get up each morning, get ready for work, drive into work, get my morning coffee, sit down at my computer, log in, and then check for the next installment of this trip report.  The pressing issues of the customers and clients will just have to wait; I need to see if myrddn has posted the next installment in his trip report.

Myrddn my Lad, you have taken us on a roller-coaster ride.   You’ve shared with us your successes and failures, your aspirations and disappointments.  With your unique writing style, you’ve taken us to precipice after precipice and then left us dangling and craving for more; waiting for your next installment.  We’ve been in your head, and shared your thoughts.  We’ve seen your heart and you’ve had us cheering for you.

Up thread you state ”In that moment, I did make a pure wish, without caveat or distraction: Nothing in the world is more important to me than that Lady C know the greatest happiness in her life.  Whether I am any part of it or not.”  You are a stand-up guy my friend.  I wish you all the success and happiness in this endeavor that life can afford.

[Gator]

The old song  "Torn Between Two Lovers" had its inspiration in Yuri, the key character in Dr. Zhivago.  I trust that your involvement and decision will not be as complicated nor as  dramatic.  Nevertheless, this is not a simple decision, especially when you can not spend time with them.

The next stage in these episodes is usually to take a trip together.  Who would you chose for a trip to Egypt?  Who would you take home to meet your family?  Maybe both (at separate times)?

Thanks for taking the extra time to write your report.  Usually the task of writing a report crystallizes one's thinking.  In your case, you are still undecided.  So both of these women have something special.  Eventually your emotional feelings will synthesize all the information and make a decision for you.  One woman will become compelling.  I hope so, or this could become crazy.

[Jumper]

Gator, if you remember on a board long ago,in a TR i think long lost now ,  I was advised to become Mormon (at that point in time)


 My wife once asked me if i was to have had the fate to be born a Shiek.,, would i have a harem? she fully expected  i would think it great? in her mind what man wouldnt? why not?
i just laugh and tell her absolutely noway! One RW is plenty!!
i wouldn't want to  manage two!   much less a harem..!!
it would be a  dream alright! a nightmare!! ..LOL
She finds me strange..... and can never figure me out.