Is it Real ?

[ambach123]

BC, why would you think I would want to impress you or anyone else? I am at a loss. People like me don't try to " impress " anyone. Do you think I care that much? You are mistaken.

[BC]

BC, why would you think I would want to impress you or anyone else? I am at a loss. People like me don't try to " impress " anyone. Do you think I care that much? You are mistaken.

You validate my point quite well.  You're smart enough to use a dictionary and figure out context.. do it.

p.s.

While you are at it, look up trollish behavior as well.

[Kuna]

ambach,

Go and seek some help for your own sake - and for the sake of anyone getting tangled up in your strange world.

Every post makes your situation and process more odd.

My comments are actually made out of concern because I know you have not yet realised how fractured your thought (decision) process is.

We see a lot of men come through RWD... some continue the pursuit... some don't.  Some of those that continue end up successful...  some don't.  You're in a very select group of men who appear to be not cut out for this at all yet you continue on and on.  It's destined to end in disaster!

Remember the last time you were talking yourself into a relationship???  The reports of hot sex with the wonderful girl who ended up being "too religious" for you - yet you only discovered that and acted on it after you'd decided to go ahead with the K1.  You insisted your decision to marry was a good one even though everyone questioned that decision.  In a flash you were dumping the girl because she was "too religious" for you.  Really now,  how religious could she be if she was involved in the things you wrote about - unless of course you tricked her into it???

Now you're talking about praying with the new hot thing that you're now "qualifying" through contrived threats in your (likely invalid) prenup - which of course "you wouldn't use" - but would use as a bargaining chip at the "appropriate" time (or is that a club to beat her into submission?).

You don't want to hear it....  you personality forces you to reject it angrily...  but sooner or later (and probably later - after marriage) you're going to find out you were never up to this journey.

If you were able to sit back and think this through rationally you'd arrive at the same decision MANY experienced men here believe.  You are on the very same path you're trying to avoid... but you are the one paving the low probability of success.

I personally think the worst kind of failure in this journey is when men are destined for destruction yet they never see it til it happens.  I hope you won't be the next one!

[Doll]

Hire a housekeeper, engage a prostitute as the need arises, pay a surrogate mother to bear you children, but please don't subject any woman to the expectation of assuming all three duties with nothing in return but room and board.

Like most AM do (my husband including)

[ScottinCrimea]

ambach, your divorce statistics just don't apply, though it was a nice try at justification.  The divorce rate among Tatars is actually quite high and getting much higher.  She's not Turkish, she is not Turkish American, nor is she a practicing Muslim, and neither are you.  Actually, if you bothered to do some research you would find that even the Tatars in Turkey consider themselves as "Crimean Tatars", and not ethnically Turkish.  As a second generation American the general US statistics apply to you and as a cross cultural marriage (as much as you try to pretend you are of the same culture), the odds are even higher.  The idea that she is of "your own kind" really stretches the imagination.  I think you are trying to force yourself to find commonalities when they just aren't there.

Your idea that your race and religion were an influence in your previous relationships makes no sense to me as you admit that you were raised in a secular, not religious, household and hold no particular religious beliefs.  It also flies in the face of your expressed belief that the US is "an exceedingly tolerant society". In fact, you specifically demand that any woman you marry have no religious views.  This is what makes your post all the more bizarre, as you describe some sort of religious epiphany as validating your closeness to this woman.

I did find one possible justification for your thought processes regarding the prenup, but since it rests on sharia and you proclaim yourself to be non-religious, it, too, is a contradiction.  Note the following quote:

'However, sharia states that when a man divorces his wife, which he may do on almost any grounds, he must simply return her dowry - and unless the families agree to additional terms in the marriage contract, that is all the divorced wife may get. The husband keeps the house and everything else. Worse still, if she divorces her husband, for which there are much more limited grounds, she is likely to forfeit even her dowry and can be left both homeless and penniless - as the plight of all too many women in Islamic countries testifies."

Sounds like you want to use the Muslim religion when it suits your purposes and ignore it when it doesn't. This shows an abuse of religion, not its active practice.

The extreme contradictions in your thought processes as you try to justify actions that everyone here condemn confirms what others here have said.  You really need counseling.

[Vaughn]

If I might follow up Scott's observations regarding the spiritual angle that's suddenly become your ally, ambach...

from 1 February 2009,

All of this is Greek to a non religious person like me.

Lesson learned, I inquire up front if they are religious, if they are I move on.

[SANDRO43]

In a nutshell, a nutcase ?

[Wienerin]

There are many details that I omitted.

We have a lot of things in common. I am second generation Turkish descent, she is also of Turkish origin (Tartar were Turkic) with some Slavic blood mixed.

Tatars by ethnicity and language can be loosely considered of Turk origins, but Kazan Tatars are originally (like in the 8-10 century, let's not go further ) Volga Bulgars, while Turks of the Turkiyeh are heirs tu Seljuk Turks - not that close as you perceive.

We met in Istanbul, the land of our ancestors; everyone treated us like guests. It was whirlwind of a time.  We had a suite at the Intercontinental, one of the best hotels in town. We saw the grandeur of the Ottoman Empire, made both of us feel good.

It's nice, of course, but what does she, a Tartar from Russia have in common with Istanbul or Ottoman Empire? This is defininely NOT "the land of her ancestors" - the Mongol tide went in the opposite direction.

[Misha]

It's nice, of course, but what does she, a Tartar from Russia have in common with Istanbul or Ottoman Empire? This is defininely NOT "the land of her ancestors" - the Mongol tide went in the opposite direction.

Pretty much. The Tatars had settled in what is now Russia centuries before the fall of Constantinople, when the mosques were still Orthodox Churches and the dominant language, culture and ethnos was still Greek.

[Sculpto]

In case you did not know, our society (and these women) judge men by our socio-economic status in life; whether it is right or wrong is irrelevant, that is a fact.

In the miserable materialistic and shallow world you live in this is in fact the case, but, I pity you.  I truly and honestly feel pity for you.  I hope you are able to find some deeper meaning in life than what you have shown here.

[Sculpto]

actually, after reading this whole thread I am quite sure this man should not get married.  and even moreso never have children.

[Mir]

actually, after reading this whole thread I am quite sure this man should not get married.  and even moreso never have children.

So would you recommend castration or will just sterilization be enough?

[BC]

Hey guys, this is degrading fast..

We're on a fancy hotel rooftop with pool, trying to talk sense into a jumper when all the while someone else has cramps and is drowning..
 
May I suggest a peek here: http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=9103.new#new

Seems there are some that are willing to learn something.

[Gator]

In case you did not know, our society (and these women) judge men by our socio-economic status in life; whether it is right or wrong is irrelevant, that is a fact.

A very serious question to you:  How do you want to be judged?

My opinion is that a well-intended RW does not give extra credit for being wealthy.  She wants to know only that: 1) you have the financial stability to provide for the family through the ups and downs of life and 2) you are not “greedy.”   Far more important considerations are her emotional feelings about you.  BTW, a unilateral prenup will probably impress a RW as something a “greedy” man would do. 

[Faux Pas]

Like most AM do (my husband including)

Whoa! entirely TMI

[Gator]

We have planned several meetings in the next few months, hopefully then I would know the asnwer.

Finally, after pages of nonsense, you post something that makes sense.  I hope you do not meet again in another resort and instead get to know her family, her friends, and how she spends her day.  

Meanwhile, I suggest that you place the prenup on the back burner and instead concentrate on building a relationship.

[Diplomacy]

Ambach:

You keep posting, so it is not to the point of no return.  Having put a war chest together is useless, unless you care to count it your whole life.  I find it interesting that the super wealthy such as Gates and Buffet, take such a different point of view with their wealth.

My guess is you are what we call new money.  All great men I know are always in a state of improvement.  Take the time to think and listen.  Watch Dickens and the life of scrooge.  Do it for yourself, and please just try.  Only you can decide how your life is, the trail you are on is a lonely one.

The wealth will consume you, and then you are a slave to money.  You have a big buffer, let it be just that.  It is a sad world if you trust nobody and think that is all someone is interested in.

People are trying to help you see that, they are taking the time to write you.  Respect that if nothing else. 

I would use advice from Trump in business, but not on a personal basis.  Did you know that trump's car broke down one time.  The people that helped him were broke, he paid for their mortgage.  He does a lot of good in the world also.  I think even he would say relationships are not his strong suit.

If you are interesting, you will find that is what a lot of FSUW are really looking for.  You have the stability factor more than taken care of.  Ask yourself if you had no money?  Would you be interested in you?

[BC]

Diplomacy,

Isn't it interesting that the greatest of men have had their legs shortened by their quest for women.

The list is long, beginning with Adam, and a snowball effect progressing to Caesar, Clinton and countless others over time.

If you want power and money, forget women in the longer term.

Very few can pull off this balancing act with any amount of success.

[Misha]

Ask yourself if you had no money?  Would you be interested in you?

Good question.

Also, it seems to me that the men who insist that only money attracts a woman are the ones who seem to fear most the gold diggers. They must understand at some level that if they only way they can attract a woman is by boasting of money, that the women that they will attract are those interested fist, foremost and likely solely for money. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

A man who does not have money, will have to offer women other qualities to win their hearts such as kindness, intelligence, decency, and love. And, amazingly, the more generous you are with these qualities, the more you give away, the more you end up with at the end

[SANDRO43]

Contrary to common expectations, Moslem women can be surprisingly...saucy . I received today a letter (Subject: Sandro, I want to realize all your hot desires...) from a 27 y.o. widow (http://www.yeva-4-u.com/index.php?show=profile&id=13597362).

I wonder what her husband died of. Marital overwork maybe, but with a happy smile on his lips ?

Careful, Ambach .

[Diplomacy]

Well Gates has no prenup either.  I do not know how many people know that or not.  He knew he chose wisely and by all accounts he has.  Wonder how much of a better person he is, because he allowed her to influence his life?

A good woman with a good man, are a powerful team.  History is full of such duos also.  It is great power comes with great responsibility.  Their is a line between insecure, confidence, and over confidence. 

I can not even tell you the amount of times, my fiance has had a better solution to a problem.  I seek her advice on a lot of matters now, and not just relationship matters.

It is a matter of who you want to be as a person, and to what level you want a relationship.  It takes constant work to improve.  It is very hard to balance power and love for some men.  Others love is the catalyst to their greatness.

[BC]

Well Gates has no prenup either.  I do not know how many people know that or not.  He knew he chose wisely and by all accounts he has.  Wonder how much of a better person he is, because he allowed her to influence his life?

In essence there is absolutely nothing wrong with prenupts..

What we often see here is not the the true need for prenupts but instead a perceived need for insurance to balance risks of a bad choice.

Classic case of using the wrong tool for the job.

[Diplomacy]

I agree, there are nothing wrong with them.  If there is a fair amount of compensation to equal the risk here.  I guess it is more of an ethics issue, but some of it seems controlling to me also.

I hate to see people controlled.

[Sculpto]

OK, now that my disgust has worn off I hope i can offer something usefull for Ambach because it seems he really needs it.

Ditto in CAPS to everything Gator has said!  x 2 and with steroid injections! 

Ambach, in all sincerity, I have a suggestion for you.  I doubt you will take this seriously in any way or form, but, I know it will put things into some perspective if you can trust what i am about to tell you.

I grew up in wealth.  I lived in one of the highest income counties in the USA and many of my friends from "back then" have become multi millionaires in real estate and high tech.  However.. when I was studying art it became very apparent to me that the happiest and most interesting people I knew were not the ones who were obsessing over creating massive amounts of wealth.  I chose to reject that path and that is what led me to Mexico.  During the time i lived there I spent my time developing a free school for street children as well as making art.  I got to know their families, their concerns, their reality.  People who have nothing materially are blessed with a quality that is so priceless no amount of money could ever compare.  They have heart.  Big heart.  Here is a typical example.. I arrive at a family home where there is not enough to eat, they insist on feeding me and insist on giving me the one piece of meat they have in the cupboard.  They heat up the last cup of chocolate for me to drink.  They burn the last bit of firewood to heat up their dirt floor cardboard wall hovel so I will be comfortable in the evening chill.  I am forever humbled by the generosity I have experienced and have strived to repay the debt of awareness for the last 25 years.

I suggest that you need such an experience.  I am not saying go to Mexico and feed the poor, but, clearly you need to put your treasure away and find some deeper values in life.  From what you have written you are clinging to your precious treasure as if it will somehow keep you warm at night.  your money is USELESS!  Find your heart, find your soul and I am quite sure the love you seek will find you without much effort on your part.

You do not need to write a rebuttal to my comments.  I know what you will say.  Just read what I wrote over and over and then go look in the mirror and be honest with yourself.

[Simoni]

I grew up in wealth.  I lived in one of the highest income counties in the USA and many of my friends from "back then" have become multi millionaires in real estate and high tech.  However.. when I was studying art it became very apparent to me that the happiest and most interesting people I knew were not the ones who were obsessing over creating massive amounts of wealth.  I chose to reject that path and that is what led me to Mexico.  During the time i lived there I spent my time developing a free school for street children as well as making art.  I got to know their families, their concerns, their reality.  People who have nothing materially are blessed with a quality that is so priceless no amount of money could ever compare.  They have heart.  Big heart.  Here is a typical example.. I arrive at a family home where there is not enough to eat, they insist on feeding me and insist on giving me the one piece of meat they have in the cupboard.  They heat up the last cup of chocolate for me to drink.  They burn the last bit of firewood to heat up their dirt floor cardboard wall hovel so I will be comfortable in the evening chill.  I am forever humbled by the generosity I have experienced and have strived to repay the debt of awareness for the last 25 years.

I suggest that you need such an experience.  I am not saying go to Mexico and feed the poor, but, clearly you need to put your treasure away and find some deeper values in life.  From what you have written you are clinging to your precious treasure as if it will somehow keep you warm at night.  your money is USELESS!  Find your heart, find your soul and I am quite sure the love you seek will find you without much effort on your part.

One of the most meaningful and insightful posts ever made at RWD.  Thanks for sharing, Sculpto.

For those guys who have wealth, I'd recommend you mask it.  For example, I was careful NOT to show pics of my large and expensive home to girls.  And I showed a pic of my old truck and not my new car.  I wanted to be sure the girl was interested in me.  Fame and fortune are best hidden in the early and mid stages.  I'd recommend the same to others in the hunt.