Another statistic

[Admin]

1) There is nothing you can do to affect her self petition other than an annulment. If you are hearing otherwise you are being lied to. USCIS employees and immigration attorneys do not alway tell the truth especially to a fellow who is devastated that this is happening to. She has enough evidence to file an abuse petition. Proof of living at a women's shelter and her statement is enough. She doesn't need hard evidence. You are locked out of the process. Even the local and regional USCIS service centers can not interfer. The VSC sent out to the service centers a memo (see below) that they are not allowed to interfer in their VAWA cases. Those USCIS employees who do and pass on information to non authorised individual (non USCIS employee) are subject to diciplinary action and a $5000 fine for each instance. In other words the USCIS locks everyone out of the process except those at the VSC VAWA staff. Read this:   http://www.immigrationfraudvictims.us/Revocation%20of%20VAWA-Based%20Self-Petitions.pdf

Maxx,

That letter you cited is dated 2002, and specifically references authority granted in section 384 of the Illegal Immigration Reform and Immigrant Responsibility Act of 1996 (IIRIRA). HOWEVER, I understand that IMBRA explicitly repealed IIRIRA 1996. If so, on what authority are they acting on that letter at this time?

- Dan

[Sculpto]

Scott.. this new development is seriously messed up.  I feel for you!

My advice is simple..

TAKE EVERYONES ADVICE!!!

I would add this.. get out of town for a couple weeks.. go to Costa Rica and get your head clear.  Take advantage of the legalized vice in that country and purge yourself of guilt and any residual feelings you have for the evil biznatch.

Regarding the list of ideas and suggestions.. take the MOST aggresive stance and do not back off from it.  Right now your actions are enabling her.  You have to stop that.  Get angry dude.  GET REAL FREAKIN ANGRY!  If you don't I am going to get in my car and drive over the mountains and kick you in the arse!  Seriously, break some stuff, punch a bag, go up onto a lonely mountain and scream.. whatever it takes to get your MANS BLOOD FLOWING because right now in her eyes you are acting like a soft little baby.  GET OVER IT.  The war is on!  Kiss your Ukrainian propety goodbye, hire a good lawyer, one who is rabid like the plague, and bite the damn bullet on the money you will spend. 

You my friend must not let this fraudulent worthless sack of human flesh get away with this.  Let her go back to Ukraine in ruin and tell the story of how SHE DID NOT GET AWAY WITH IT. 

To the newbies reading this.. it should be a freaking major warning..

DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE

[Daveman]

I've spent the past few days doing a lot of research on this subject, and the bottom line is that I, along with the rest of the men in America, are screwed.  The women have the US government and every feminazi in the world on their side and we are on our own. According to statute, the woman MUST be believed no matter what and the man MUST be considered a liar.  There is no opportunity to prove otherwise.  She can file a complaint alleging anything she wants and again, according to statute, this must be accepted as the truth with no opportunity to provide any defense.  She does not even need to provide any evidence, and any contrary evidence provided by the man MUST be discarded.

We all want to believe that the American system is one of checks and balances and justice, but the regulations regarding this whole issue throw that concept completely out the window.

......

For all the negative we have to say about the FSU, something like this could never happen there.

You know, if this perversion of our judicial rights is actually true then this is exactly the kind of government horse schit which leads to massacre and martyrdom.  I can't see how in the world this nonsense could stand against a broad range of judicial suits.  Civil rights violations and constitutional obstruction being merely the tip of the iceberg.  Are there any class action suits in progress? I couldn't find anything. 

Scott, sorry to hear about the recent revelation. I agree that it could have been a lot worse.



 

[Jazzyclassy]

Scott,
I can not give any advices, but i hope everything will be fine and you will heal your soul very soon and  take into consideration all the bad things that happened  in your situation and at the same time wont label all the other women to be emotional freaks
It is just crazy how things might turn, still can not believe that is happening to you  for real, I wish you all the best and let God give you all the strength you need

[ScottinCrimea]

Scott,
I can not give any advices, but i hope everything will be fine and you will heal your soul very soon and  take into consideration all the bad things that happened  in your situation and at the same time wont label all the other women to be emotional freaks
It is just crazy how things might turn, still can not believe that is happening to you  for real, I wish you all the best and let God give you all the strength you need

Thanks, JC.  I also have a hard time believing what has happened.  I still can't see any reason behind it.  But I'm sure that this is something that I will only see in hindsight.

I've been spending my time dealing with the practical issues of the split up. Only now have I been able to work on the emotional issues.  It's one thing to detach from someone with whom you have spent 5 years, but it's quite another thing to detach from your dreams of the future together.  Right now I'm in that gap between letting go of the past and moving forward to a new future.  While I think I'm doing well, there are still days that are a struggle.

Thank you for your concern.

[Gator]

While I think I'm doing well, there are still days that are a struggle.

Many of us have been there.  It takes time. 

One day you will realize that the chronic emptiness of an unfulfilling marriage was far worse and longer than the acute pain of broken dreams.  Start making some new dreams.

Remember this:  Why is divorce so expensive?  Because it is worth it.

[mies]

I still can't see any reason behind it. 

I wish you only the best and hope you will get over this unpleasant story soon.

[Ooooops]

ScottinCrimea, sorry to read about you troubles...   5 years is quite a long time and that new void is not that easy to fill....   Hope that you come out of it with minimal damage and bright future...

[Ronnie]

Gator is right Scott.  Move it along as rapidly as you can so you can open the next chapter of life.

[ScottinCrimea]

Here's an update: I hadn't seen her for over a month, though we had communicated via e-mail about some jobs I was helping her to get.  Today she dropped by to exchange some personal items and we had a nice chat.  She is out of the shelter and in an apartment, though right now she has no furniture and she and her daughter are sleeping on the floor.  She makes too much money to get subsidized housing or any other government benefits.  I did send her off with a patio table to serve as her dining table for now as well as some other items of hers that I found during my move. I left her with a list of items that she had taken that were mine and that she needs to return.  She was okay with this.

Just as I expected, the breakup would be easy for her and difficult for me at first because she had her expenses covered by the women's shelter and I had to pay for all of the changes.  But now the tide has turned and she is experiencing the difficulties of making it on her own and I am quite settled into my own life.

She has elected not to go for the abused wife route for her visa.  Instead, she is filing for divorce and will present that when she applies for removal of conditions.  She says I should be served with the divorce papers within the next two weeks.  Of course this works just fine for me and I will help to speed the divorce settlement along so it will be final before the end of her conditional visa in September.  I'm sure that things will heat up as we negotiate the financial settlement for the divorce, but there are really not that many issues to resolve, and since her attorney is on a flat fee, I'm sure that these will be settled quite easily in mediation.

Throughout this process I have heard the horror stories of those who have been abused by their foreign wives who have abused the system to their advantage.  I think it is important to show that this is not always the case.

Of course my situation is far from over, but we seem to have settled into a situation of inevitability where we just do what needs to be done to end the relationship without all of the extras that could be involved.

An interesting note is that she has expressed an "interest' in dating once our divorce is final and especially with the idea that my financial situation will improve dframatically in about a year.   That certainly shows me quite clearly what her priorities are.  I think at that point I can do better.

[Ronnie]

Scott,
I guess I don't understand how a physician is in such financial shape that his wife leaves him over it?  I don't want to ask you to share things that you are unconfortable sharing, but you do understand our confusion, right?  

Leaving a spouse because of finances is a common thing for women of any culture and it is particularly true of a woman from FSU who has ventured into the unknown wilderness of America.  Here inquiry as to the prospects of future dating, given and improving financial situation seems quite candid on her part.  Maybe it's her way of forcing you to maximize your obviously underutilized earning potential.

[ScottinCrimea]

Ronnie,  See my PM

[Maxx2]

B. Scott you are in a state of denial and are justifying what your "wife" did to you. You ARE, the classic "victim". It's somehow YOUR fault and she is blameless. "Bull$hit". She played you like a Stradaverius and you still somehow aren't outraged. I'd be pissed off to no end if someone abused me in that manner. I'd feel violated, abused, and it would be akin to being raped, I would imagine.  

C. You can either sit back and lament how all of you are "victims" of the system, how the women have the system in their pocket (they do), or you can TRY and do something about it and try and change it. You can fight back. Will you win every time? No. But at least you aren't thinking: "since rape is inevitable, I'll lie back and try to "enjoy it". If the woman wins, at least she has to work for it.


Some men are in the process of having something done about their loving "wives". Those wives may wind up being deported. That's right, the "D" word. But it doesn't happen overnight. I don't have some magic power to throw a switch and have the offending party transported back to their home country instantaneously.

Several more are fighting back, against the system, against their abusive "wives", and are poised to make some history and to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. If you doubt me, ask some of the men on Voice of American Immigration Fraud.

Donald Glassman, one of my very first cases, avoided getting convicted of Rape 3rd which would have landed him in the NY State prison system. Why? Because someone came forward and testified on his behalf in court, demonstrating how the fraud works and simply stating there IS fraud.

Danny Cox is about to expose his Romanian wife for being the lying "biacth" (a nice term that someone used here so I'll use it) that she is. SHE may very well wind up getting indicted by a federal grand jury. Again, "why" you ask? Beacause someone conducted an investigation and found the evidence to prove the fraud.

Mark Weeks is fighting back and his Russian wife may very well have an issue of a serious kind before long. Another investigation conducted and evidence obtained that the wife lied her A$$ off.

Chris Hoppel avoided getting convicted of a "crime involving domestic violence". Someone, who had the audacity to charge for their services, testified at his trial about how the fraud works, that there is fraud in the first place, and what the motivation is for these women to commit the fraud in the first place.

It's called "educating the judge and the jury" because, quite frankly, up until now, everyone has been blissfully ignorant. No more. It's time for the wake up call.

There are many others who have chose to fight back. Will every one of them prevail? Probably not.

But the reality of this is that in order to fight back, one has to spend money to do so. It doesn't come for free and it certainly doesn't come "cheap". Sorry, there's no "free lunch".

E. Russian women, although they constitute a high percentage of women who commit this particular crime, are NOT the only ones engaged in it. I have clients who have married women from Colombia (another hot spot), Africa, Jamaica, China, Korea, Argentina, and the Dominican Republic, just to name a few.

So, gentlemen, the choice is yours. You can sit back on your collective A$$E$ and complain how unfair life is, or you can try and do something about it. Ball's in your court.

Yes, it "affects your police record". Every restraining order is placed in the Wanted Persons file in NCIC. That's right, the "Wanted Person's File". It will stay there until the restraining order is lifted AND the FBI is notified of such, BY THE COURT WHO ISSUED IT. NO ONE ELSE CAN REMOVE THE RESTRAINING ORDER FROM THE SYSTEM. PERIOD.

You writing a nicely worded letter to the FBI informing them that the restraining order that was entered into the system needs to be removed since it's been vacated will do nothing but give you a nice warm feeling all over. However, no one will notice. It's akin to pissing in a dark suit.

And when you go to get a passport, or to have it renewed, yes, the State Department, who issues you your passport, checks the NCIC wanted person's file prior to issuing a passport. If there is an entry, guess what? No passport.

If you try and purchase a firearm, good luck. Isn't going to happen. The Brady "insta-check" is linked to the state system and NCIC. The RO will pop up and you'll be told, albeit politely, you can't purchase a weapon. Period.

Also, each state has their own automated data base or mini NCIC. And yes, every restraining order is entered into the state system for the state in which it's issued in. So if a court in Colorado issues a restraining order against me, it's entered not only into NCIC but into CCIC as well.

This concludes my lecture on how the system screws you over.

You now get to chose. Sheep, or wolf. Which is it going to be?

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil, is for a few good men to do nothing". Sir Edmund Burke.

[Doll]

Hi, Maxx! How are you doing? 
Are there any blind people here? 

[ScottinCrimea]

Good Lord, Maxx, get a life!  None of your ranting relates to me and I don't see what exactly I am in denial about.  In my case, there were no domestic violence charges made, there was no request for a restraining order, she is working rather than accept government assistance and she is applying for removal of conditions based on divorce, not abuse.  None of what she is doing follows your worst case scenario fear-mongering.

Sure she did some things that hurt, and sure, she was manipulative about some things, But I'm not seeing how hers was an orchestrated scheme to abuse me and the system.  I have no doubt she had people whispering in her ear to do things differently in ways that would have made it much better for her and much worse for me, but she chose not to.  All other things aside, I have to give her some credit for that.

So what exactly would you have me fight against?  I see my choices as either responding like a vindictive b@st@rd and forever alienating someone who I had some great times with as well as starting a fight that would end with two losers, or taking the high road, as she seems to have done (certainly not 100%, but enough to show me that she is not one of the "lying biatches" as you seem to think).

Certainly the story isn't over yet, but I'm certainly not going to spend the rest of my life in obsessive bitterness about what has happened.

No offense, but what was your glucose level when you wrote that last post?

[Maxx2]

Good Lord, Maxx, get a life!  None of your ranting relates to me and I don't see what exactly I am in denial about.  In my case, there were no domestic violence charges made, there was no request for a restraining order, she is working rather than accept government assistance and she is applying for removal of conditions based on divorce, not abuse.  None of what she is doing follows your worst case scenario fear-mongering.

Sure she did some things that hurt, and sure, she was manipulative about some things, But I'm not seeing how hers was an orchestrated scheme to abuse me and the system.  I have no doubt she had people whispering in her ear to do things differently in ways that would have made it much better for her and much worse for me, but she chose not to.  All other things aside, I have to give her some credit for that.

So what exactly would you have me fight against?  I see my choices as either responding like a vindictive b@st@rd and forever alienating someone who I had some great times with as well as starting a fight that would end with two losers, or taking the high road, as she seems to have done (certainly not 100%, but enough to show me that she is not one of the "lying biatches" as you seem to think).

Certainly the story isn't over yet, but I'm certainly not going to spend the rest of my life in obsessive bitterness about what has happened.

No offense, but what was your glucose level when you wrote that last post?

It shocks me that you believe anything she says. She's been lying and deceiving you from day one. By going along with her and letting her get her way you are weakening yourself by being a doormat. Take Doll's husband as an example. He put his foot down early in their marriage. She countered according to her own words by threatening him with abuse charges (in Wayne's "wife split" thread). Then she stated in the same thread that having sex in a marriage is not necessary and not important. There are some things that shouldn't be excused. By doing so it weakens you. Pull your support of her immigration petition, break off all contact with her and file for an annulment based on marriage fraud. It's time to act like a man.


Maxx  

[mies]

Pull your support of her immigration petition, break off all contact with her and file for an annulment based on marriage fraud. It's time to act like a man.

why would it bother you personally? You still cannot get a closure on your story?

Maxx, I know you have issues with RWs, but let me ask you, just out of curiosity - how often and why do you think how would you feel if someone raped you? a woman? or a man? You mentioned that it would feel the same as when your wife leaves you. But why do you draw this rape parallel/comparison in a first place? Have you ever been raped or abused in any way?

[mies]

Scott, I hope everything will go nice and smoothly. I admire your wise attitude.

[Maxx2]

I have issues with women who use fraud to get their way and I have issues with men you roll over and let them get away with it. I also have issue with women like you Mies who try and shame me into silence.

JNSampson drew the rape parallel. It is a bit strong IMO but it does get you there in understanding the feelings of being used by a scamming spouse. Imagine being outside a courtroom before the trial and having a prosecuting attorney wanting to cut a drop the charges deal (plea bargain) on the false admission of spousal rape. How would you feel? It happened to me.


Maxx  

[Doll]

Then she stated in the same thread that having sex in a marriage is not necessary and not important. 

me????????? hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[ECOCKS]

Like most things you encounter in life, if there is a lot of smoke floating around, somewhere there is a fire. I believe there are embers of fire in the stories of VAWA abuse and at least in Phoenix there appears some indication that there is a level of attmpted organization and sophistication that is scary.

They (INS and politicians) over-reacted to a few abuse/murder cases in the past and I am glad Sampson and some journalists are raking up the coals to uncover that the system is a bit out of balance here.

[mies]

I have issues with women who use fraud to get their way and I have issues with men you roll over and let them get away with it. I also have issue with women like you Mies who try and shame me into silence.

JNSampson drew the rape parallel. It is a bit strong IMO but it does get you there in understanding the feelings of being used by a scamming spouse. Imagine being outside a courtroom before the trial and having a prosecuting attorney wanting to cut a drop the charges deal (plea bargain) on the false admission of spousal rape. How would you feel? It happened to me.


Maxx  

You got me all wrong Maxx.  I do not try to shame you into silence. First of all - I respect you too much to do it, - for your passion about helping other men and protecting the law of your country from scammers. Secondly - I am very sympathetic about your story. Something in your post puzzled me, and I asked about it. It would be much more interesting for me if my question started an informative discussion, rather than making someone silent.
Technically, if your wife was dependent on you, she did not want sex with you, but she had to give her consent because you wanted sex with her, you think this is wive's duty, and you somehow physically or verbally forced her into it - this would also qualify into spousal rape. If I remember educational pamphlets correctly. You may not be completely aware of what was happening, you might have thought she is shy, or playing, or whatever, but if she didn't want it - it does not change the outcome situation. You know the rule for a date rape situation? "If she didn't say NO it does not mean she said YES"

[KenC]

Maxx,
You are falling into your old ways again.  Not everyone's story fits into your parameters of false claims of abuse and other nefarious actions.  You seem to have difficulty in accepting that some stories do not fit your pattern. You have warned Scott and now you need to back off.
KenC

[Maxx2]

You got me all wrong Maxx.  I do not try to shame you into silence. First of all - I respect you too much to do it, - for your passion about helping other men and protecting the law of your country from scammers. Secondly - I am very sympathetic about your story. Something in your post puzzled me, and I asked about it. It would be much more interesting for me if my question started an informative discussion, rather than making someone silent.
Technically, if your wife was dependent on you, she did not want sex with you, but she had to give her consent because you wanted sex with her, you think this is wive's duty, and you somehow physically or verbally forced her into it - this would also qualify into spousal rape. If I remember educational pamphlets correctly. You may not be completely aware of what was happening, you might have thought she is shy, or playing, or whatever, but if she didn't want it - it does not change the outcome situation. You know the rule for a date rape situation? "If she didn't say NO it does not mean she said YES"

Thank you Mies for clarifying your statement.

Rape happens by the use of force. That is holding someone down or using threats. I do not consider rape to being she does not want to have sex but does it anyway because her husband might be displeased. Most married men would be guilty at one time or another if this was true. Of course if she says "No" it means no but is there room for pleading (shaking my head at the thought)? Like "Honey I haven't had it for so long I am about to explode" said of course in a gentle soft voice. Is this rape if she says "OK, we can't have that"?

Maxx

[Maxx2]

Maxx,
You are falling into your old ways again.  Not everyone's story fits into your parameters of false claims of abuse and other nefarious actions.  You seem to have difficulty in accepting that some stories do not fit your pattern. You have warned Scott and now you need to back off.
KenC

It seems nefarious to me that she waited till her daughter got here and then left him immediately. The false claims of abuse were made because she claimed to be in fear of him. This is why she came to his house with a police escort. The police picked her up at a women's shelter and came to his house. Scott believes she has not filed abuse charges on him with the USCIS. How does he know that? She can file the charges on the evidence she has (proof of living in a shelter, a police report and affidavits from shelter workers) and do it completely without him knowing it. All her "niceness" and holding out the carrot he might get to date her and with it sex as a possibility how does he know she isn't after more of his money? Did you know you can file an I-360 abuse petition and still live with your USC spouse if you have financial reasons to do so? It's in the law.


Maxx