Statistical abberation

[ECOCKS]

I'll track down some divorce statistics by age gap.

I am certainly aware of the overall divorce rate, yet believe that it is accurate to state that age gap is a significant influencer in failures. If I am wrong don't worry I'll stand up and say ooops, misread that one!

Never said Ken and Lena didn't have a rich and loving relationship.

I have had so many conversations with Ukrainians about why WM come over looking for young FSUW that the subject has become a sad, sad joke for me and, unfortunately, for many of them as well. If anyone has a wonderfully warm, rich relationship and it is what they dream of, hey, enjoy. However the stereotype is throughout society and never think people are not judging those who walk that path. Behind your back they will decide you are/were looking for a trophy, being a "Daddy" or just having an extended mid-life crisis and getting a gal to go with your convertible.

I agree Doll, most seem to want the long-term ideal. That is why I find it sad when we hear about those who are forced to settle for short-term pleasures. Perhaps it's negative, but I feel regret when a marriage fails and regard it as time wasted by two individuals and, worse, their families/children involved.

[KenC]

No, we don't know. So I am asking it in a different way: are men who understand the risk of a big age gap value some years of marriage (then divorce) more than marrying an older (closer to their age) woman with much less risk for the divorce?
A woman who does have kids and also with not many  chances to get a better husband would think twice before she leaves. Something like this," He is a little older than I am, so what are my chances to get a much better deal? Not too much"
 If she is much younger then all men between her and his age are good enough.
I am just thinking and I am thinking like a RW here , in the USA. We did have some issues with my husband but this very thought stopped me from doing something stupid. Every time we have fights (we do!))) both of us think of what happens tomorrow. "Tomorrow" doesn't seem so bright at our age))

Doll,
I cannot and will not argue with your logic here. Hindsite is usually 20/20.  I never conciously sought a mate so young.  Lena's age was the one HUGE negative factor in my mind before we married.  I just made an impulsive phone call to her, we became friends and fell in love.  Love is not always logical.
KenC

[Ade]

Doll,
I cannot and will not argue with your logic here. Hindsite is usually 20/20.  I never conciously sought a mate so young.  Lena's age was the one HUGE negative factor in my mind before we married.  I just made an impulsive phone call to her, we became friends and fell in love.  Love is not always logical.
KenC

So, what would you do if you fell in love with someone half your age again?

[Doll]

How did you meet Lena? I have no clue.
I am not arguing- just thinking. I am the one who is married to a man with an "no risk philosophy.

[Doll]

Bottom line, Ken, you're right- it is what it is and the best thing is to think of this marriage the way you do. We all would like to hear it from our ex spouses.
Also, 56 is not the end of the world- I am looking at my husband 

[Mir]

Love is not always logical.

Yes that is true, provided the lovers are 18-19 years old (give and take a couple of years)

[KenC]

So, what would you do if you fell in love with someone half your age again?

I certainly would not pursue it from the beginning before it came to be love.
KenC

[Doll]

Ken, how did you meet Lena?

[Maxx2]

It is good that Ken is moving on.  It's too bad that Maxx can't do the same after all these years.

This is an ignorant statement Ray. You have no idea of the circumstances in my life that have transpired since the "Elvira incident". "Moving on" in regard to getting a Russian woman or any woman was out of the question. My finances went down then up and then down and at last on their way up again. "Moving on" in regard to my posting about something I know something about is not an issue at all. I post far less about this issue than Ken does about his justification for marry women his childrens' ages.

Naxx

[Jazzyclassy]

Personally I would agree.  I would far rather have a few years of wonderful marriage followed by the divorce than a lifetime with some bumps.

I would even prefer a few years of terrible marriage compared to a lifetime of terrible marriage with no divorce.   

I disagree with you completely here, what you call a terrible marriage? like a calm marriage with love and obviously some misunderstandings and with some bumps , as how you say,- but that is a point to be able to live with one person for a lifetime to grow with him, to understand him and to overcome all those bumps together and help and support each other always , finding compromise and deal with difficult situations.Passion is a very non lasting thing, it can be foreverlasting though as long as you both feed it and surprise each other


So you are trying to say , a bit paraphrasing that it is better to have 5 mins of great super fantastic pleasure , than a lifetime of simple happiness.It is a total caprice
If everybody thought like that , there would never be any couple who would have a  long lasting relationship, everybody would keep marrying all over and over again.

[Shadow]

So you are trying to say , a bit paraphrasing that it is better to have 5 mins of great super fantastic pleasure , than a lifetime of simple happiness.It is a total caprice
If everybody thought like that , there would never be any couple who would have a  long lasting relationship, everybody would keep marrying all over and over again.

When you feel like you have only 5 minutes left, why not make them enjoyable ? 

[KenC]

Doll,
I called her on the phone after seeing her on the Net.

Maxx,
Your actions and negativity speak louder than your words.

Jazzy,
I agree with you. (don't pass out)
KenC

[Doll]

When you feel like you have only 5 minutes left, why not make them enjoyable ?

This is probably the thing with older guys 

[Doll]

Doll,
I called her on the phone after seeing her on the Net.

And she was on Net for what reason?

[Doll]

Maxx, bud, would you just relax!

[Doll]

 Jazzyclassy, Turboguy says it because he has same age situation I think. Right, Turbo? 

[Misha]

Jazzyclassy, Turboguy says it because he has same age situation I think. Right, Turbo? 

Even bigger. I believe there is a 38 year age gap in his case.

[Doll]

Even bigger. I believe there is a 38 year age gap in his case.

Yeah, he is in his 70's I suppose and she looks under 40 (for me))

[Maxx2]

Maxx, bud, would you just relax!

I am relaxed. You should tell this to Ken he needs it. Turboguy and spouse are 10 years younger than your guess. No need to add another 10 years and traumatize them as well.

[Turboguy]

I'll track down some divorce statistics by age gap.

I am certainly aware of the overall divorce rate, yet believe that it is accurate to state that age gap is a significant influencer in failures. If I am wrong don't worry I'll stand up and say ooops, misread that one!

Never said Ken and Lena didn't have a rich and loving relationship.

I have had so many conversations with Ukrainians about why WM come over looking for young FSUW that the subject has become a sad, sad joke for me and, unfortunately, for many of them as well. If anyone has a wonderfully warm, rich relationship and it is what they dream of, hey, enjoy. However the stereotype is throughout society and never think people are not judging those who walk that path. Behind your back they will decide you are/were looking for a trophy, being a "Daddy" or just having an extended mid-life crisis and getting a gal to go with your convertible.

I agree Doll, most seem to want the long-term ideal. That is why I find it sad when we hear about those who are forced to settle for short-term pleasures. Perhaps it's negative, but I feel regret when a marriage fails and regard it as time wasted by two individuals and, worse, their families/children involved.

I will be looking forward to seeing those statistics.   I have never seen any.  It seems logical to me that it could be a factor but I have no idea.  It also seems possible it could be a non factor or even have a lower divorce rate.  I am fairly certain that few couples with a 30 year age gap ever celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. 

[Turboguy]

This is an ignorant statement Ray. You have no idea of the circumstances in my life that have transpired since the "Elvira incident". "Moving on" in regard to getting a Russian woman or any woman was out of the question. My finances went down then up and then down and at last on their way up again. "Moving on" in regard to my posting about something I know something about is not an issue at all. I post far less about this issue than Ken does about his justification for marry women his childrens' ages.

Maxx

Maxx, you are right.  I don't know what is in your heart and in your mind.  It just seems to me that you still carry a lot of hurt and anger and I worry about you because I think you are a good guy and you try to help others.   I think your passion for helping others is having a toll on you and I think you need to let all the hurt of the past go.  I think it was in poor taste to take your revenge out at a time when Ken was down.  I think if as you said he did that to you it was also in poor taste but that was years ago and I wasn't there or I might have said so at the time.  A good guy like you needs to be above those things.  Show the world you are the better man and you can hold your head up with pride.

[Maxx2]

Thank Ray. I will answer your post after I "tough love clue bat" ScottInCrimea AKA KenC style  .


Maxx

[Turboguy]

I disagree with you completely here, what you call a terrible marriage? like a calm marriage with love and obviously some misunderstandings and with some bumps , as how you say,- but that is a point to be able to live with one person for a lifetime to grow with him, to understand him and to overcome all those bumps together and help and support each other always , finding compromise and deal with difficult situations.Passion is a very non lasting thing, it can be foreverlasting though as long as you both feed it and surprise each other


So you are trying to say , a bit paraphrasing that it is better to have 5 mins of great super fantastic pleasure , than a lifetime of simple happiness.It is a total caprice
If everybody thought like that , there would never be any couple who would have a  long lasting relationship, everybody would keep marrying all over and over again.

Jazzy, I was not talking about 5 minutes of super fantistic pleasure or a year or two of incomparable erotic thrills.  I think a lot of marriages are like you described, calm, loving, a few bumps along the road, dealing with difficult situations and finding compromises.  I am sure living a lifetime in a situation like that is fine.  I never had a marriage like that to know.  My first marriage was more like 18 years of Chinese water torture.   I hear a lot of people talk about the heartbreaking suffering they go through when their marraige broke up.  I can remember my first night after I left.  No one in the history of the Power Ball lottery was ever as happy about winning as I was at getting out of that marriage.  My marriage now, well, calm, yes, loving, very, difficult situations, bumps, compromises, not yet.  It is more like just a calm, happy, pleasant, loving life.  We have yet to have a fight or argument.  We enjoy each others company, enjoy being together and have an amazing and wonderful relationship.  We actually lead a pretty calm and simple life, we share the same goals and our lives mesh very well.  Jazzy, you don't need to marry someone to have 5 minutes of great super fantasic pleasure and if that is what someone wants why would they want to get married?

[Turboguy]

Jazzyclassy, Turboguy says it because he has same age situation I think. Right, Turbo? 

As Misha said if age gaps are bad then we are a little worse than Ken and Lena.  Yes, 38 years.   37 years 7 months and 4 days if you want to get technical and precise. 

[Turboguy]

Yeah, he is in his 70's I suppose and she looks under 40 (for me))

I am glad you put that "under" in there.  When I first read that I was not too sure if it would be safe to go home tonight or not.  I am glad VWRW is not the violent and throwing things kind of woman or I would go back to every dish in the house broke including the unbreakable ones.   You were closer on me than her.  She is 29 Doll.