She came here on our first meeting

[Ooooops]

  Never met a woman that "Knows Herself" yet .

Your loss, what else  can I say...     

[JamesDH]

Daveman,

that would probably clear up a bunch of the speculation.

Shopping.

The second day of her stay we were out looking at the neibghborhood. We drove thru the parking lot of a strip center and she called out "JC Penny". I said do you want to go? She said Yep.
Ok we parked and went in. We walked thru the store and she looked at this and that. Tried on some shoes etc.. We walked by the mans and she looked at clothes for me, commenting on which colors she thought looked good on me. I did the same for her. We left without buying anything. I asked if she was looking for something special and she said she would like to have some real Levis so I took it as my mission to find her some real Levis (not walmart wannabes)

The next day we went to Frys (my choice) to look at electronics then we went to the mall. That's where we went to Macy's, Dillards, Sears etc. I took her to a Levis store but their selection was horrid and their prices were high. Nothing was bought that day except I bought a case and power supply for a system I was building for my nephew. We had to leave the mall before she got to go over the jeans at Macys as they were closing early for Memorial day. She wanted hamburgers so we went to Whataburger (my favorite) then came home and had an evening of talking and putting tables together.

We went back to Macys the next day and she looked over the jeans and bought one pair. I offered to pay but she refused "don't spoil me". We went to Luthers BBQ. I had baby back ribs which she loved. She had pulled pork sandwich. We went for a drive thru some of the nicer neighborhoods, chatting and socializing.

The next day we went to Brazos Bend park. We stopped at Kroger and got some smoked sausage, bread and relish to complete the other items I had packed in the cooler. When we got there it was sprinkling rain so we drove around looking at the beautiful green vegetation. the rain stopped so we parked. I lit the fire and we chatted. I cooked the meat after the fire burned down some and she prepared the other things. We had some great "hot dogs". Cleaned up and headed out. We walked around the large body of water, about 2 miles, and saw everything. Birds, turtles, snakes, lizards, frogs, alligators and plenty of flowers etc.. As we got to the east side of the lake the sun was setting and it was beautiful. We stopped and soaked it in. We got home tired and hungry so I ordered pizza. Perfect day.

The next day I took her to Academy because I remembered the had jeans there. Well they had the best selection of anyone and she bought two pair (that's where she went over them with a fine tooth comb) We looked at clothes, shoes, camping equipment, exercise equpment.. everything, just normal shopping and socializing. I picked up two pair of jeans as well ($29 was a good deal) I paid for everything over her "don't spoil me". It was $130ish. We left there and went to Red Lobster. I had the ultimate plate, she had shrimp and scalops. Tasty. We went home and she modeled the jeans. I complimented her on how good they make her butt look and she was happy. We went to the computer room, she downloaded more stuff, we chatted and flirted. We wound up around midnight.

Next day we just vegged around the house as the weather was a little rainy. We talked, I put a computer together, she asked 1000 questions and was right in the middle of it. We ate microwaved pizza and snacked on chips, nuts and chocolate thru the day. We played on the computer. She's better than me on Zuma and made sure I knew it (kidding of course) In the evening we went to Sams club around the corner to see if they had kid jeans (her request). They didn't but we looked the whole place over anyway.

Losing track of days but I think the next day was Saturday when we were supposed to go to my brother's. (I didn't tell her that) We drove to Brenham and went thru the ice cream plant. They have it set up for tourists and it was very enjoyable with the tour guide cracking jokes and keeping everyone entertained. We had a little sample on the way out.

Sunday we went to my brother's house right after they got back from church. We met all the family and dogs. She was overwhelmed a little but the women soon had her talking just as fast as they were. I sat beside her and put my hand on her leg. She put hers on mine. We left, went downtown and drove around. I parked near the park and we walked a while. We watched people for a while, chatting about the different cultures and weather. We went by the Astrodome, ship channel and everything else I could think of. She took a lot of pictures and asked a lot of questions and it was an enjoyable day. We ended it at Saltgrass.

Next day we went shopping again. This time we went to Gander Mountain. She was amazed and really liked it. She looked at clothes, shoes and all the camping gear. We talked about camping and hiking and nature. I found some flip flops, she asked what Jerky was so. I got regular, peppered and salmon jerky for her to try. I think she bought a little jacket thing that was on sale. We went by Home depot and walked the whole store. I picked up a hedge trimmer, some light bulbs and a water maker connection kit. She looked at tile and carpet. Commented that she liked this tile (I had said earlier that I wanted to change the kitchen tile, she agreed) We have similar tastes and liked much the same thing. Off to home we went stopping for Mexican food. She sort of liked it.

Next day we went to Walmart (third time we had been to Walmart) and she found some kids pants and a couple of the $5 shirts. We went to REI and she liked that too. We looked, talked, flirted and left empty handed. I asked what she wanted to eat since it was her last day here. She said she wanted more Caesar salad so off we went to Saltgrass for burgers and Caesar salads. We also drove out of town and looked at some of the suburbs as the sun was going down. Nice.

Tuesday. Her last day. She packed. We talked very little. She mentioned the Russian community I wrote her about so she looked it up and we drove down to check it out. She saw a few Russian people, talked to them and talked to me a lot about the people we met and things we saw. We went in the Russian Super Market. She pointed out all the things she knew and explained that the prices were pretty good. Talked to more people and we left. We got back home and she got ready to go. Things were getting very awkward as I couldn't talk and she was having "nose" problems. I drove her to the airport in silence (almost). The rest has already been told and I don't want to go over it again.

Too much shopping? I don't think so. It was just something for us to do that kept us busy. No power shopping, no filling multiple suitcases, no sucking money out of me. Just normal shopping. I know.. I was there.

I hope this puts the matter to rest.

She has landed in Russia and should be home in about an hour.

Which way are things going to go?    or    


P.S. She loved the Salmon jerky. I did too and we ate the whole bag that night.

[GoodOlBoy]

Too much shopping? I don't think so. It was just something for us to do that kept us busy. No power shopping, no filling multiple suitcases, no sucking money out of me. Just normal shopping.

Hello JamesDH.

Not to play "dime store" psychologist, BUT...It sounds like it was OK with you to stay busy with the shopping expeditions? Correct?

No insults intended here, BUT....Maybe you were more "comfortable" with this situation (shopping) rather than spending quality time alone and becoming more "intimate" with her?

Could it be that there were some demons from your past relationship haunting you....when you were with this lady?

Seriously, I hope things work out for you.

You seem like a nice guy.


GOB

[facetrock]

   I think they both had a nice trip and sparks started flying. Good for you James. Good for you.

[JR]

I think things got blown out of proportion because it was A LOT of shopping for JAMES. Not that it was necessarily a lot of shopping

And GOB, I wouldn't give you a nickel for your dime story psychology Even if you are right, which I'm not saying you are. Just that I'm saying.

[JamesDH]

GoB,

The first few days or even first week was trying to stay away from any "intimate" situations because I . She was giving me plenty of signals now that I look back on it. I ignored them on purpose and kept her busy. Looking back I think I should have kept the flirting under control but it just came naturally.

Demons haunting me? I admitted already that the thought of all the hassle you have to go thru to get an immigrant into the country played in my decisions. Like I said.. the reward needs to be worth the effort expended and I didn't feel at that time that it was.

Do I now? No but I could be convinced.

I think most are missing the main point. How was she different from an American woman?
In my mind she was different in that she let me be the man and she was happy being the woman. When we came to a door she waited for me to open it. When we were at the restaurant she told me what she wanted and I ordered it for her. When there were things to be carried. I carried them. When we got back from the grocery, she put the food up, washed the strawberries and fed them to me. She never complained. She complimented me daily as I did her. She kept looking at me with this big blue eyes. I can still see them. I miss them

[facetrock]

   You can spend time with a woman and go see the sights, take walks in the parks, go out to eat, but sooner or later the DNA will rear its ugly head and off to the malls you will go

[Ade]

Never met a woman that "Knows Herself" yet . Ooooops, when were you last married to or considered being married to a Russian woman?


I/O

I agree. Women seem to think that as they belong to same gender they "know" other women. From my experience they are as likely to be wrong about another woman's motivations as I am about another man's. Actually, I'll go further and say that, generally speaking, I'm as likely to be right about a woman's motivations as any woman.

Some women love to shop it's as simple as that. Damn, when I get back to Britain I shop a lot for things that are extremely expensive here in Norway and, like Daveman, I hate shopping. Have you guys seen how much a pair of Levis costs in Russia? 

[Daveman]

Thanks for the elaboration on the shopping conundrum, James.  I still can't comment on that because I just don't know enough about it, but it doesn't sound so bad after the play by play.


Now here is something to think about... first, I am not advocating diving into a marriage, or rushing anything (I still think it's way to early to be yanking around about love), BUT, if you do have a sincere interest in this woman, you can't wait for her to convince you of anything. You take the reins, make the moves, and if you want to try to make this into a relationship, you need to make it happen - she will not do the work for you that way.  If you are wishy-washy, unsure, don't know what you want - she will walk away from you, virtually guaranteed, and if that happens most likely you will not get another chance with this particular woman.

You had your week of pissing around, but don't do it again (that tension will become elevension next time around).  Stop thinking so much and just be a leader. If she's interested in you, she will follow your lead (but don't confuse this with a submissive woman, or a pushover, heh.. that would be a bit of a rude awakening).  

You're a man who knows what he wants and has no problem going and getting it.. so if you want her, go get her.

[Ooooops]

that would probably clear up a bunch of the speculation.

It looks much better the second time around.     Anyway, good luck with whatever you two will decide.   

[gemini]

If this story was on Russian forum, people would have no doubts this women had a nice free shopping vacation with free tickets and hotel. The fact she has multiple visa to America confirm this. It is not about women know women, it is about Russians know Russians. I hope I am wrong James, but you will find the one with blue eyes witch is REAL and she will take very good care about you..
I know it is not easy in your situation being out of home half of the time. Please, be careful with this one.

[Ooooops]

Some women love to shop it's as simple as that.

Don't you think that flying for 20 hours (or so) to get to shopping mall is a bit excessive even for shopaholic? 

[SMS60]

The fact she has multiple visa to America confirm this.

James

I remember reading this in your opening post. You said she already had a visa fo r the US before you made plans for her to visit you

This seems strange. May I ask what this Visa was for??  school, tourism? Very curious.

It is usually difficult for a women from Russia to get a Visa for the US. Not impossible but hard.

[gemini]

James

I remember reading this in your opening post. You said she already had a visa fo r the US before you made plans for her to visit you

This seems strange. May I ask what this Visa was for??  school, tourism? Very curious.

It is usually difficult for a women from Russia to get a Visa for the US. Not impossible but hard.

We all know about men that do sex-tourism. They convince the multiple women that they are looking for a wife but just want to have some fun. They don't push the women to have sex, they do it because they like the guy.
Why don't we imagine there are some women that do the same, kind of shopping tourism. She didn't do anything except writing the nice emails for two weeks and and got a free shopping vacation to US.   She is probably a good psychologist like all good cheaters and she knew he wouldn't force her to have sex. But even she liked him and didn't mind to have sex, it wouldn't prove anything.

[Ooooops]

She didn't do anything except writing the nice emails for two weeks and and got a free shopping vacation to US.   

But she didn't even buy that much, according to the second post from JamesDH...   

[gemini]

But she didn't even buy that much, according to the second post from JamesDH...    

I think he wrote that he had to pay for the extra weight, my luggage to Russia is usually huge with all those presents but I never paid for an extra. He also wrote that her luggage was unusually light when she came. Well, yes, she came to do shopping!

[Sculpto]

I think he wrote that he had to pay for the extra weight, my luggage to Russia is usually huge with all those presents but I never paid for an extra. He also wrote that her lugguge was unusually light when she came. Well, yes, she came shopping!

no, that was another poster commenting on his trip to Italy..not James and his lady from Valdivostok, you are mixing posters Gemini..

[gemini]

I noticed her bag was very light and wondered to myself "is she poor and can't afford clothes?", "did she pack light because it's hot here?".

This is James' words.

[I/O]

With all due respect, the Russian girls posting in here may well be completely accurate but there is no evidence, therefore it is speculation at this time. The only thing being demonstrated with clarity is that Russian women will say almost anything to pull down another Russian women. I have observed this for more than half the last decade and it isn't one of their most endearing qualites. Sorry girls but you are sounding like bitchy old Babushka'. BTW, my "Russian" wife is just rolling her eyes at some of your comments and then smiles with, it would be funny to listen to them if we told our story in detail.

Gemini, was it not a couple of threads ago you complained about Russian women saying what you thought were bad things about Russian women?

This woman may be the "Low Life" from hell but we have NO EVIDENCE of that right now. Wouldn't it be wiser to sit back and watch how it all unfolds? James is in the same boat and the only way he is going to know it to spend more time with her. I think he should do that sooner rather than later.

Someone mentioned wasting $2.5K. James (as I understand it) works month on month off in the African based oil business and without knowing his details, I have two mates doing likewise. Their base contract is $20K + incentives + costs per month tax free. $2.5k for tickets and a few dimes for whatever isn't very significant in this guys world. I think he can kinda afford to play this out to the end game. Logistics are much more of a concern than finances.

I/O

[Sculpto]

Gemini.. check post #46.. it is Gator smiling about his trip to Italy with his wife...and paying excess baggage fees..

[Ooooops]

The only thing being demonstrated with clarity is that Russian women will say almost anything to pull down another Russian women.

Bullsh*i*t.   There are quite a few Russian women on this board and I don't remember us getting into pissing match like you, guys, do all the time.     

[Ooooops]

BTW, my "Russian" wife is just rolling her eyes at some of your comments ...

You really shouldn't put your loved one on the spot...     You wouldn't want to hear comments about "rolling eyes",  as the retaliation for "Babushkas",  would you?   

[Aloe]

last post by James sounds like there barely was any shopping involved, unless you call window shopping shopping , and the whole post sounds like she is genuine but as some pointed out, he didnt make any moves, i dont know a single russian guy who wouldnt make his move on 1st date, let alone a week, and i also agree with whoever said that you need to take the lead. Personally id never try to have a relationship with a guy if i had to be the one pushing it to evolve while a guy sits on his ass and "sees" where it goes. Unless i REALLY liked the guy or had some hidden agenda

[Sculpto]

while a guy sits on his ass and "sees" where it goes.

Ahh.. now here is a cultural issue in the other direction Aloe.. I can't say about Europe.. but a lot of men in the states are going to be "gun shy" after some of the crap we have put up with.  after a few broken hearts its not so simple as just jumping "her" bones anymore.. there are consequences to such actions and a wise man won't act purely on lust.

If I had been in James shoes.. even if I was hot for her the first minute I saw her.. I would have held back too..

[Aloe]

The only thing being demonstrated with clarity is that Russian women will say almost anything to pull down another Russian women.

its national pastime :p look at any russians abroad forums, very many people who jump at any newcomer with their superficial judgements and offenses, however a few of the russian WOMEN only forums are very nice and friendly, supportive and pleasant.