How fat is too fat?

[Ooooops]

Because later on I found out what they really thought from other people.

Ok, so your women were not only dishonest but also stupid - to blabber things like that to other people?   Or did they do it on purpose knowing that you'll find out about it?   

[Taz]

Sorry- won't rise to the bait or make a snide comment befitting yours. Perhaps you are familiar with the word "tact". I could comment that it is something you know little about but I won't go there.

[Ooooops]

Sorry, man, when you open topic about "fat people" what "tact" can you talk about?   

[Taz]

Oh, excuse me your royal highness, I forget you RW are all so politically correct. Maybe I should have used the word obese. Is that something her royal highness would prefer???

[Sculpto]

ok we need some more humor here

[youtube=425,350]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zLPWMXXghGI&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zLPWMXXghGI&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

[Ooooops]

Is that something her royal highness would prefer???

No, I just take my royal arse out this topic and forget about it.   

[Sculpto]

now look what you did Taz.. ok, this one is personal.. DUMMY 

[Taz]

Hmmm... let me see, nothing she said was personal... I ignored most of it. I thought I'd use a little sarcasm in return. I put up with her snide remarks long enough. Comments like the following:

Honestly?   I never put my hubby on an scale before making love to him.   15 years and still not record keeping.   Obviously you don't have the same, do you, Taz?   

or

Ok, so your women were not only dishonest but also stupid - to blabber things like that to other people?   Or did they do it on purpose knowing that you'll find out about it?   

or

Good luck to you, man.   You'll need it.   

I pretty much let all these slide. Every time she puts an emoticon, it is normally after a snide remark. I think I showed a lot of restraint... Of course I know where you fall on this issue. Cue Britney Spears "... I did it again"

[Sculpto]

so be a man Taz.. sheesh dude.. I thought you said you were married to a Russian lady.. you ought to know by now..

[Taz]

Why not tell Oopppss to be a woman instead if you feel so strongly about it? Yes, I am being a man. Married to a RW is like being married to a shark. Never let them smell blood! 

Why should I yield my point, just so she can have her way? Why so she'll be inclined to do it again? Sorry, I'm not going to be rolled by a RW. I'll engage in intellectual discourse and try to do it in a polite way in most instances. At some point you have to stand your ground. If she was MY RW, then it would be a different story. I'd be more compliant but not a push over. I owe nothing to Ooopps or any of the RW on this board. They are just women. No more important than the men on here and typically more pushy. Why should I reward what I deem as bad behavior???

Unlike many others here I can actually say "my mistake". I have almost never seen a RW here ever say she made a mistake. It probably happened somewhere but I don't recall it. What a minute, after very convincing evidence, Mila the translator from Kharkov said she might have made a mistake with CCowboy. It appeared it was far more than one and it seemed like she did it to just let the dust settle about his complaints. I don't know how sincere it was but that isn't for me to decide. If CCowboy was happy with it then that is all that matters.

Unfortunately as so often happens, people want to turn this into a personal dispute which detracts for the other discourse.

[Turboguy]

Every time she puts an emoticon, it is normally after a snide remark. I think I showed a lot of restraint... Of course I know where you fall on this issue. Cue Britney Spears "... I did it again"

Taz, many of us put an emoticon behind a remark that we intend to be funny, something that is not intended to be serious.  It is usually done good naturedly.

As far as the links you quoted, You don't think you need luck?   We all need luck in this venture.   You did sort of imply that you don't like BBW's didn't you?   Isn't it really smarter for a woman or a man to discuss issues that bother them with their partner not all the gab buddies.   

Ok, that out of the way, I have to agree that too many BBW's think they are BBW's and I can't say I find them very appealing.  Yes, I think if I married a woman who added a ton of weight I would try to live with it but would as you suggested try to encourage a healthier lifestyle

I can recall meeting a few women who were an armful and still being interested but when they get to the point where they qualify for BBW status I really don't get too physically attracted.  I may enjoy their company and like them as people.

[Sculpto]

Taz.. you are even more stubborn than me and that is really saying something..

[Misha]

try to encourage a healthier lifestyle

This is the much better approach. My wife and I bike together in the summer and have discovered the joy of snowshoeing together in the winter. It is a good way to keep bodies healthy as well as your relationship. A win-win scenario.

[Taz]

Turboguy - BTW, I've always loved your name and it was my first choice when I came here but you already had it. I imagine you have a deep affinity for forced induction...

Have you ever lived in the South? My family is partly from the South and I spent a long time there. Now you can't hear any accent in my typing or in my voice now. There are some peculiar mannerisms there. One of them is the equivalent of Oopppsss little smiley emoticon. Sure it can seem innocuous on the surface but there is often a hidden meaning or jab. I'll explain in the context of the South and I am sure all the good ol' boys here will get it.

There is a code phrase that Southern women love to use. God knows I love Southern women the best of all AW. They seem to be the closest to RW. Their strength is in their femininity and good knows many of them know how to hunt, fish and be a good tomboy if needed but I digress. The little code phrase often used is "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart". It is sometimes equivalent to the arithmetical operator the opposite sign or it is used to say something very negative or to attack without appearing too carss. That phrase is added at the end just like a little emoticon by Oooppppsss.  It means that you can effectively assume that the meaning is the exact opposite, or close to it, of what was just said or a way to make a jab. On the surface it seems kind or funny or ...

I'll give you an example. "Poor ol' Peggy Mae, she seems to be have a little bit of a weight problem bless her heart." In this instance the inference is that Peggy Mae doesn't have a LITTLE bit of a weight problem but a HUGE weight problem. I'll give you another example so folk won't think it is just weight related. "Dale has just had such awful luck with the boys this year...bless her heart". Every one knows that Dale was the most homely chick around and there wasn't a man within 5 counties that would even consider dating her. The bless her heart was the sure giveaway that it was a jab or insult. You could say in public and anyone who didn't understand it wouldn't know. If someone called you on it, you could say you were seriously wishing her the best or your felt her pain so to speak. You could show how empathetic you were. While I can't be sure of her intent, it sure seemed it was her way to use emoticons in the same fashion and then later claim it was just a misunderstanding. I can easily play the same game but why? Again I'll repeat I am not accusing her of anything but it sure seems likely... Draw your own conclusions. I think I have a pretty sound argument here. I've seen a lot of her posts where she does it and it sure doesn't seem like she is being humorous a lot of the time. It sure is easy to take a jab at someone and claim no foul...

[Taz]

Taz.. you are even more stubborn than me and that is really saying something..

I try to learn from those that are better than me. I'll refrain from using an emoticon so you don't get the idea based on a previous post I just wrote.

I did try to encourage my ex-RW to lead a healthier lifestyle. I bought her a very nice bicycle. Comfortable clothes and shoes to wear while biking. A very comfortable seat. Everything I possibly could do to get her out to ride. She didn't like to run so bikes were a good option. I encouraged her to toss her high fat milk products for something less harmful. Didn't want to do that. You all have no idea the lengths I went to try and help her with a healthy lifestyle.

What many of you don't seem to get is that OBESITY is preventable. It can easily be cured in most cases. It isn't a mystery how to lose weight. It is her and my responsibility to our relationship to live in a healthy way. It is our responsibility to each other and to our children. Why be married to a person that isn't taking care of themselves and shortening their lifespan by many years when it can easily be corrected? If that makes me shallow, then so be it. Substitute whatever other vice  you want if you don't want to think about obesity to put my argument in a different context. As I mentioned before, gluttony is considered one of the seven deadly sins so apparently I am not the only one against it...

Based on our poll so far, there are more sinners than saints...

[ECOCKS]

I would have preferred to see this as two questions to differentiate staying with your partner versus being initially attracted to someone in the first place.

In that situation I would have answered the first question that once in love I have no concern that I would lose interest in my chosen partner no matter what their weight. A commitment is a commitment.

As for the second, I would have to say that at 31+ pounds over "ideal" (which is chosen by me, not some calculator, doctor or women's magazine) I begin to feel less physical attraction but suppose it could still be overcome by things like personality, energy, intelligence and general attitude towards life.

[Sculpto]

Taz..

your poll doesnt include those who refused to vote which are more than a few that are posting in the thread.. so.. dont make any conclusions from the poll.

you should know you cant make someone change.. even by leading the way.  Obviously SOMETHING ELSE was wrong and you failed to identify it.  Think about that sir before you go blaming it on gluttony. 

[Taz]

I clearly stated their is no statistical significance to the poll. Relax, I am not writing my dissertation on the result of the poll. It was mostly to spark debate. Some people are so easily sucked in...

People who didn't want to vote can clearly state they don't want to vote. Apparently some people can't work with hypothetical questions very well.

It is easy to say love will conquer all but that rarely works in the real world. Things are never black and white. I almost never get to operate in that mode on a daily basis or IRL except when it comes to governmental regulations I must deal with. Not a lot of gray there and mostly black and white.

Ecocks- I understand your points. I wanted to modify the poll but I found I couldn't do it. I tried to explain it in the text below but apparently some people have issues reading that. Feel free to comment as appropriate.

Of course you could always start your own poll. Then they could accuse you of being fanatical about weight and counting every gram and the list goes on...

[Sculpto]

Taz.. its really all coming down to presentation.. and believe me.. i have learned a bit about that on this forum in the last month.    <---------- not a sarcastic symbol.. simply a smile. 

[Boethius]

deleted

[Turboguy]

Taz.. you are even more stubborn than me and that is really saying something..

Yea TAZ,  you get any more stubborn we will all start thinking you are a RW in disquise.  :hairraising:

[Sculpto]

hahahaha good one turbo.. and on that note.. I am going home to make dinner  nighty night

[JR]

I would have preferred to see this as two questions to differentiate staying with your partner versus being initially attracted to someone in the first place.

In that situation I would have answered the first question that once in love I have no concern that I would lose interest in my chosen partner no matter what their weight. A commitment is a commitment.

As for the second, I would have to say that at 31+ pounds over "ideal" (which is chosen by me, not some calculator, doctor or women's magazine) I begin to feel less physical attraction but suppose it could still be overcome by things like personality, energy, intelligence and general attitude towards life.

I took it to mean initial attraction. I'm not looking for an overweight woman to become my wife. If I love her and it happens then I have to look at myself and see if I had a part in it, if so fix myself and encourage her to live healthier.

[Show Time]

I took it to mean initial attraction. I'm not looking for an overweight woman to become my wife. If I love her and it happens then I have to look at myself and see if I had a part in it, if so fix myself and encourage her to live healthier.

I voted based on initial attraction.  However, I refuse to reveal how I voted out of fear that it may be used against me later. 

[Ade]

When it comes to initial attraction I will admit that I'm not at all physically attracted to women that are hugely overweight. However, I have been attracted to women that are somewhat overweight; sexiness in my view involves far more than just the size of a person's physical form.

As for a partner of mine gaining weight, well, maybe I'm different than a lot of guys, but I find that my emotional attachment to someone increases my attraction to them to the point that the physical becomes secondary. Surely most guys here know and have experienced that sex with someone you are emotionally attached to is so much better than meaningless sex with the hottest looking babe out there?

I do know of one guy that has admitted to me that sex is just that and it's no different for him if he's with his wife or one of the other women he's had one night stands with. I don't understand this.

Would there be a point at which weight gain would override the emotional bond that forms the major part of the attraction for me? Maybe, but then I think there would be problems in our relationship that went deeper than weight.