I'm new here

[GQBlues]

Sculpto-

Since my handle isn't stapled along the awning of your dog house, does this mean you will stand in line to get me 4 weekend ground passes at Harding for the President's Cup?    

[Sculpto]

Eliminating the thread drama.. the question still remains, should Mark try to visit Ukraine or not?

There are arguments for both sides.

I chatted with Mark for a couple of hours yesterday.  He is a lot more stable than his postings would suggest.  He is far from the first BPD afflicted person I have known and most of the others were a lot less functional.  

Mark is a programmer.. he is sitting at his multiple screens for hours on end.  He multitasks in an extreme way and due to where he lives and the nature of his income earning life has less IRL contact with humans that is probably good for him.  I mention this because it is relevant to the understanding of how his love affliction developed.

We do not know if Alina is real or not.  The only way that is going to be resolved is either through her never responding to his formal request for her contact info, or, if she does eventually reply, him going there.  The girl does exist, her name is probably Alina and she does probably live in Kherson.  Is she really genuinely interested in Mark in the same way she feels about him?  No way to know that for sure at this time.  He has only one choice and that is to wait.

Based on my own experience with this same agency in Kherson the chances of scam are unfortunately elevated.  But, they are still "chances" and not facts at this point.  Until he has facts, based on either her never responding to the contact info request, or, rejection of same, or later rejection once he can communicate with her off RLM/HRB he has at least a little reason to persist.

Now, to further complicate things.. one HRB affiliate tactic is they typically require the ladies t sign a contract that REQUIRES them to continue corresponding through the site even if they have provided personal contact info.  They use intimidation, "you signed the contract you must do it or else" and fear, "Many of these men just want sex, we are here to protect you from sex tourist".  This complicates the scenario for Mark, or any man that chooses to actually visit a lady from that site.

So, should Mark visit Ukraine?  Given his fragile nature, yes, he is a sitting duck for Valentin and his band of slutty scammers.  But, if Mark is armed with information, and has a solid guide to watch his back, could he make a trip to learn if his woman is really the troubled soul mate he thinks she is.

Mark can go, but not alone, and only if he has prepared himself mentally that his chances of success with Alina are low.  (and he can afford financially to take the risk, and pay for a Russian speaking guide to go with him who also understands his )

Or, he can sit behind his 8 monitors and rot while the world goes on around him.  

Which scenario do YOU really think is better for his life?

[OlgaH]

2012isFiction,

Alina's personal info, her full name, address, phone number is the most important information he has to know before taking any other decisions.

[JR]

2012isFiction,

Alina's personal info, her full name, address, phone number is the most important information he has to know before taking any other decisions.

Amen!

[Sculpto]

yes it is.. I am talking to Mark now.. and I think he is coming to read the thread. 

[Sculpto]

Just found her on vkontakte

[elliott]

Well not that smart, because she does not yet know how to spell 'all of you' as 'yawl.'

   I thought it was ya'll.  She also hasn't used "you'uns." 

[LEGAL]

  I thought it was ya'll.  She also hasn't used "you'uns." 

Give her time

[SANDRO43]

I thought it was ya'll. 

So did I, I thought yawl only meant this, a two-masted sailboat .

[Taz]

If this thread continues to devolve it will probably be locked. We are not here to be the OP's psychiatrist. Let's try and stick to the RW related aspects of his original post.

[Sculpto]

I am trying to do that Taz.. hang in there.

[LAman]

Wow... quite a few responses already. It looks like i found the right messageboard to join. It's refreshing to find encouragement in my quest to be with Alina. Too many people would tell me it's just a dream that I chase. They weren't even gentle with their comments. Some even called me stupid and naive. I could go on for hours. I chose long ago that it is really only up to me to believe, nevertheless, the negativity I'm bombarded with always causes me to wonder.

Told you all.. a guy came here needing help and instead of helping him with his real problem, the one he came here to seek help for... almost all of you chose to attack him on a personal level.  

I doubt if DJ came for help......just someone to reassure him he was going down the right path. Seems this forum is not the only one to tell him what he didn't wanted to hear.

[Faux Pas]

If this thread continues to devolve it will probably be locked. We are not here to be the OP's psychiatrist. Let's try and stick to the RW related aspects of his original post.

Taz,

The thread has grown legs and meandered like most threads do. As long as it is active in the manner it is, why lock it? Nobody is attempting psychiatry (except maybe sculpt). Positive discussion has ensued.

With that said, dude was looking for some affirmation that his Alina was real and not a scam IIRC. When he shared the brief details of his correspondence and found he didn't like the response from forum members and their (gasp!) opinions, he invokes his mental illness as a shield. So yes, the further opinions on both sides of the aisle are appropriate and valid. No one grilled him on his illness. When he didn't read the answers he'd hoped to read, he began using his illness as a crutch. That action of someone on this forum opens numerous doors of discussion. To quell or attempt to quell would be a great disservice to the membership as a whole. IMO

[LEGAL]

Taz,

The thread has grown legs and meandered like most threads do. As long as it is active in the manner it is, why lock it?

      Its a right wing thing! IMHO 

[tfcrew]

on: September 23, 2009, 07:20:43 AM ....

gothdude... I just wanted to say Hi to everyone and introduce myself.

 on: September 23, 2009, 03:42:09 PM

gothicguy Wow... quite a few responses already. It looks like i found the right messageboard to join.  

on: September 26, 2009, 10:28:34 PM
 

gothmeister...This is my final post... no defence no more attacks... I quit

 

[OlgaH]

When he didn't read the answers he'd hoped to read, he began using his illness as a crutch.

Sorry Faux Pas but I disagree with you. If there would not any insults most likely he would still post. 

[LEGAL]

on: September 23, 2009, 07:20:43 AM ....
Quote
gothdude... I just wanted to say Hi to everyone and introduce myself.

 on: September 23, 2009, 03:42:09 PM
Quote
gothicguy Wow... quite a few responses already. It looks like i found the right messageboard to join.  

on: September 26, 2009, 10:28:34 PM
 
Quote
gothmeister...This is my final post... no defence no more attacks... I quit
 

Like I said up post Wow it only took three days to run off the new member djgothman.
I wonder if that is a new record? Again shameful

[Faux Pas]

Sorry Faux Pas but I disagree with you. If there would not any insults most likely he would still post. 

We'll have to agree to disagree Olga.   I responded to gothman early in this thread then stopped when he took the sharp 180. I couldn't given him any encouragement for his Alina. I saw nothing positive about it. But, I did watch as he rolled out his illness as a justification for his actions.

He is on a forum for support of a search for an FSUW, not support for his brittle psychosis.

[JR]

With that said, dude was looking for some affirmation that his Alina was real and not a scam IIRC. When he shared the brief details of his correspondence and found he didn't like the response from forum members and their (gasp!) opinions, he invokes his mental illness as a shield. So yes, the further opinions on both sides of the aisle are appropriate and valid. No one grilled him on his illness. When he didn't read the answers he'd hoped to read, he began using his illness as a crutch. That action of someone on this forum opens numerous doors of discussion. To quell or attempt to quell would be a great disservice to the membership as a whole. IMO

Bingo!

When he started throwing his pity-party in a knee jerk reaction to the cautious/negative responses (albiet honest) he was getting about Aline he trotted out the "sickness."

It's BS. He should NOT go to Ukraine. If she's a scam or dumps him because he starts one of his "poor me" episodes he's quite likely to go back to his hotel room and hang himself. Better he stay here and attempt to keep his head above water.

He is in no condition to bring a woman to the US and deal with all that that means.

[OlgaH]

Faux Pas,

after your responses and responses some members as well he wrote

no... I'm still here and reading posts.

When after some suggestion to visit a therapist he honestly said about his bipolar disorder and he said it without any personal attack. Was it so necessary to throw in his face the insults after his post about his disorder? Was it really so difficult after his first posts about him and his Alina being goths to understand that there can be something more?  

[OlgaH]

his pity-party in a knee jerk reaction

some more insults from so normal and intelligent members. Common guys, don't be shy. Mark made his mistake when he came here so tear him up.

[Faux Pas]

Faux Pas,

after your responses and responses some members as well he wrote

When after some suggestion to visit a therapist he honestly said about his bipolar disorder and he said it without any personal attack. Was it so necessary to throw in his face the insults after his post about his disorder? Was it really so difficult after his first posts about him and his Alina being goths to understand that there can be something more?  

Personally, I never got to his illness because I didn't see him having anything more than a fantasy hook from an agency. I haven't insulted him and I don't see the members reaction to his mental illness as insults. We speak direct and frank on this forum Olga (one of the many positive aspects of this forum) about any subject raised. He was the one that brought his illness up. Again, we are not here coddle his psychosis. He'll need his therapist or other various forums for that. He asked some pointed questions, made some pointed statements and got some pointed answers. The forum responded in exactly the manner it seems to have been designed for. IMO

[JR]

some more insults from so normal and intelligent members. Common guys, don't be shy. Mark made his mistake when he came here so tear him up.

If he wanted to relate information regarding his/her condition all he had to say was "We're both involved with the goth life-style which can have depression as one of it's elements and we find comfort in each other in this matter." Instead he weaves elaborate tales to garner pity.

Years (and I mean years) ago I used to try this same tactic to get sympathy sex from women. One day a rather breathtakingly attractive young lady told me she wasn't impressed with my approach and that she thought it was pathetic.

It was pathetic then and it's pathetic now.

I have sympathy for his condition, not is method of delivery.

[OlgaH]

He was the one that brought his illness up.

Yes he did. Was it so difficult to understand how sensitive and vulnerable a person with bipolar disorder can be. Difficult? May be in such case better to look for information about the disorder.  

Messed-up drama queen, your miserable persona, He IS miserable and he revels in his misery, dude's feeble emotional state, poor and downtrodden, kid's brittle psyche...  now knee jerk reaction. How much a person can take?

I doubt the people who have a heart can say such things to their ill friends and relatives. Why it is OK to insult a stranger?

[Misha]

Just found her on vkontakte

That was my advice: find her on Russian sites to contact her directly. Hopefully, he can contact her on vkontakte.