Sorry, he finds the notion of posting on internet boards bizarre.
Then why do you do it?
I doubt he even knew I was posting it here.
It seems most of the things your husband says is insulting whether accusing the men here of shopping for meat or claiming a woman is writing this thread. You're doing your husband no justice when you speak for him. It looks real bad when a man shoots insults behind a woman and through her mouth.
Furthermore, you are the one who keeps bringing him, and my daughter, up. I never mention any of this to my daughter, as I do not think she should be exposed to this dirt.
Posting on the forum is like taking the witness stand in a court of law, if you open your mouth you can get cross examined. I talked about A and mom and you speak up and say they're immoral and you question mom's parenting skills. Why are you surprised if someone talks about you and your family if you can do it to them? I've been much more kind to you with words than you and your husband have been with me.
Actually, that's not what I had in mind. I meant, has there been any development in relationship with A for the past time except for talking on the phone with her?
Our feelings for each other have been getting stronger although all we have is the phone for now. I will explain later how we take care of our needs in a later post. Based on the responses I'll be putting out, this is going to be a long post.
My wife tells me she was taught that it's impolite to be the first to hang up the phone if you weren't the one initiating the call; maybe this is just something taught to children in her locality but it just goes to show that local customs can lead to misunderstandings and you should be very careful about assuming anything.
SJ, if your wife believes it's impolite to be the first to hang up the phone if she weren't the one initiating the call it's because that is what she learned and adopted. If your wife practices this behavior with you and others then that should be credited to her individual good manners. It shouldn't be credited to her culture. This is not normal in the FSU culture. Although A lives in Libya, she is a proud Ukrainian. I've spoken with hundreds of FSU women and if they feel you're not their type of man as you're talking, they can hang up abruptly without saying goodbye.
By your own admissions and descriptions in this thread you are a One Week Wonder
We went though this earlier. Start another thread if you want to talk about it in detail. It's simple. A guy having great communications with a lady who knows perfect English for a year and they agree to marry on a first visit is better off than a man having poor communications with a woman who knows little English and they agree to marry after a second visit.
BluesFairy had 3 years communication with her husband before they first met. I don't know if they had feelings or agreed to marry before or during a first visit. Are they Nucking Futs too? If you had poor communications with your wife and needed 10 visits to figure her out, that is you and your situation. It doesn't apply to me in my situation. I've dated and turned away numerous women earlier in this thread because I quickly figured out that we weren't a match and you guys questioned if I could even commit. When I find what I'm looking for, I can commit.
I remember you said 3 weeks ago in your post that there are a lot of intelligent people giving me advice but you edited it. Why? Faux, you have been blind this whole thread. Earlier you didn't believe a woman would want her man to be a teacher although Lily said on page one that she would welcome a man to be her teacher.
What you don't realize is that you're not in the majority. You have some Western men and a Western woman on your side. Not much variety there. The majority in this thread is silent and the silent majority isn't as alarmed or inspired to post anything. Don't you think there are intelligent people in that group? There are intelligent RW that posted too but you and others fail to notice what they write. They asked if I addressed the age gap with A, if my sexual performance is up to par with a young lady, and if I can fulfill her needs.
NEEDS! My critics have failed to address any important issues. They yap all throughout the thread about the same things over and over such as age gap yet fail to realize fulfilling ones needs is top priority. If you want to be labeled a good MAN, you need to fulfill your woman's needs.
Western women can make mistakes and marry a loser and mommy, daddy and welfare will rescue them if they make a mistake when choosing a man. RW and women from less fortunate countries actually have to be smart and choose the best man to fulfill needs such as take care of them and children and make good decisions in life that would benefit the family. It is often mistaken that those are desperate for going outside of the barriers of Western world's norm but it isn't that they're desperate, they are intelligent for choosing men wisely. They don't have a mommy such as Boethius who will take care of them forever if they fall with the wrong man. Boethius said earlier she raises her daughter so she won't have to marry an old guy. Most intelligent women raise their daughter to marry the best guy. Marry an similar age guy or marry the best guy? Which is smarter? If lots of women think I'm the best guy and marriage material, then I'm doing something right. Don't point fingers at me. Look at yourself and how you appeal to women.
You heard from a RW earlier in this thread that it's hard to find good men. There's plenty of men out there but it's hard to find GOOD men. For those of you reading this, if you can communicate well and are a good man, you will not have a problem finding dates and women to marry. BC was partially right when he said it's easy to get married. That statement applies to the few good men out there. Simply being a nice guy doesn't mean you're a good man.
Don't worry about Erudite; he is no less gifted than his moniker suggests. I'm sure that he knows what he is doing and that he produces some brilliant children.
Let Erudite speak for himself. He opens his mouth in this thread and come to find out, he would accept a relationship with a huge age gap. People aren't that stupid Tom. If a man says he'll accept a 26 year age gap with a woman, you can bet it's more. Loneliness does that to men.
Since you want to join this conversation and take the high road with my critics, I have some questions for you. I remember reading your trip reports years ago and you visited and dated some young ladies. What was your age and their ages at the time of visit? I don't think the young ladies you visited or dated just happened to be the youngest you wrote to. If you want to be brutally honest, what was the youngest age of a woman you communicated with?
Aren't you worried that GoodOleBoy will insult you too and say you look like the father of your wife or girlfriend? I don't think you have to worry. GoodOleBoy isn't an equal opportunity insulter. He doesn't have the guts to insult everyone equally here.
Billy i do have to say I don't think i've ever met anyone that would agree to marry me in one week..
If i would ask, they'd just think i was crazy! lol
So you must be one charming dude.
Charming only goes so far. After that a man has to deliver. Even if some people don't believe I have an easy time to find women who'll date me, they can't deny some men have that ability. When you're communicating with the ladies on the internet, what kind of message are you sending them that let's them know the type of man you are? I don't say anything special about my work or brag about my house and cars yet women may get the feeling that I'm a man that they can make a stable life with and could provide for a family. I ask serious questions about how they see a husband and wife's roles in marriage and most family oriented women are turned on when a man asks them serious questions. It also gives them the impression that I'm not desperate and won't accept just any woman easy into my life. They like the fact I have standards and don't agree with them all the time.
With the local RW I date I don't ask serious questions so quickly. That can scare them off. I can just date them and take things slow and more natural when getting to know them.
I don't buy the shortcuts because of her location.There are ways they could meet ,t and he could see her
somewhere while the k1 process is ongoing.
While two trips sure isn't many, it's twice as much time together as one trip..maybe even without mom. duh.
I have to take shortcuts. Libya is not America. A needs a visa to get in the country and a visa to get out. She does not work in Libya so if she takes a few weeks vacation to see me in another country, she may not get back in because she has no business there and is considered an adult and can't live with mom anymore. Mom has one vacation a year according to her contract and I'm not going to wait another year to see A. Maybe some people here don't realize this but I'm making sacrifices here. Being devoted to one woman who lives far away makes my testosterone level go through the roof. If I was a single man, getting a release would be easier. Do you guys enjoy my aggressive behavior in this thread? Mom and another RW I dated are absolutely right when they said it's a woman's job to fulfill a man's needs so he can relax and not be so aggressive.
As I said earlier, the plan is to start the k-1, see her before the interview and to pick her up later. I will have 3 visits to A before she'll ever step on American soil. If A does something wrong with me within that time or in America, I can get back into single man's mode instantly and look elsewhere.
I was in a playful mood and was merely teasing Billy.
Oh Mies Baby! Don't stop!..... Thanks for the PM(wink)
Thanks BillyB for so completley proving my point: men go to the FSU for three primary reasons.
1. Younger
2. Prettier.
3. Easier.
Wrong JR. I have noticed most people who have something to say that doesn't fare well for me have selective memory or reading issues.
Before deciding to visit A I had plans to be with a RW older, not as pretty, and in America. If things worked out with that girl, A would have never been in this thread or even going to the FSU.
Most RW I've dated live in America, not the FSU. I would only consider visiting a RW in the FSU if she was exceptional and A is exceptional. Earlier in this thread I got hammered for not talking about A enough and people couldn't understand why she's a great woman. Now I started to talk about her and people think I'm trying to justify my reason to marry her. I will continue to talk about A's fine qualities and the more I talk, the more men would wish to have a woman like her.
I just don't believe it'll turn out the way you want.
I tend to believe most comments such as yours is not how you see me and A but how you guys see yourself in the same situation.
I'm not the same as you guys. I don't get emotionally devastated when things aren't going smooth. If A comes to America and isn't the person she portrays herself, if she's lazy and doesn't clean, cook, or love me, then I will end the relationship. Simple. If you guys tell a woman you have a great job, house, and portray yourself as a good man and provider and a RW comes to live withyou and you are unemployed, live in a trailer, and lied about half the things you said, do you think she'll hang around for more of the same? Get some self esteem and immediately leave a bad woman instead of hanging in there for a few more years of rough riding.
As this thread unfolds, I can remember one, maybe two guys posting something along the lines of “Hey Billy! It's great you're having fun. I'm having similar success!” The rest of you are posting as if you're living unhappy lives and/or reading in disbelief and can't understand the success I am having. I was so confident that I can find a high quality woman that would “Wow” people that I started this thread and post my experiences in near real time would not lead to humiliation and failure. Why? Because I'm a happy guy that makes happy things happen. Don't be angry with me writing this thread or talking about myself and my successes. I knew when I started this, I'd lose some cyber friends but in the end, some people are going to benefit. I have enough ladies who'd like me that I don't need any more attention. All you need to realize is if I can do it, you can do it too. You don't have to be a playboy or bad boy to be in demand either.
Hey Billy, Has A, your girlfriend and Mom joined the exodus out of Libya? What does she see there? Place is looking shakey with Mumar in the martyr mode.
Coincidence you brought that up because I came back here today to talk about it regardless if the question is asked.
Middle East events all started with Tunisia which is next door to Libya. When Tunisia had it's problems, I asked A if everything is okay and she said “That is there, not here”
When Eygpt had it's problems, she told me “Don't worry, that won't happen here.”
She lives in Tripoli which is located in NW Libya and when protests started in Eastern Libya last week and after the day Libya cut off the internet, we had a conversation on the phone that went like this.
Me: If it gets dangerous there, go to the Ukrainian embassy. If you have problems getting into your embassy, I will contact my congressman and the US embassy there to see if they'll take you and your mom.
A: Bill! There is nothing happening in Tripoli and you're talking to me like I'm a child. Me and mom are strong intelligent Ukrainian women. We know what to do.
Me: Hey! The internet was just cut off. Next may be the phone and I may not have any contact with you for weeks or months so let me say what I have to say even if you don't like it. I know you're both intelligent but I need to make sure you understand the situation and what to do.
A: Tripoli is fine and I feel safe. How does your media know what's going on? I live here. I know what's happening.
Me: You're too young to have seen similar situations in the past but I know what can happen during events such as the ones happening in the Middle East and soon it may lead to Tripoli. It may end fairly peacefully or very violent. Many good people will protest but there are bad people who see this as an opportunity to steal, destroy property, rape and kill. I care about you and that is why I'm concerned and talking to you the way I am.
A: okay, but we'll be fine. Everything will be okay.
Next day I call and we have this conversation:
Me: How are you doing today?
A: I'm okay.(in a soft tired tone)
Me: You don't sound okay. What's wrong?
A: Mom and I didn't sleep much. From 1 AM to 5 AM there was constant shooting. Mom called the bank and the banks won't give her her money. The internet works again but very slowly and we talked to my aunt on Skype and she was crying very much. Mom is trying to buy me a ticket out of Libya within a few days and she will stay and work at the hospital.
Me: Your mom should leave too. I'm glad your mom is getting you out quickly. I will send you $400 Western Union to Ukraine and email you the pickup #. I don't know if this is my last call to you in Libya but that money will be there for you for living expenses when you stay with your relatives. Do you have enough food and money to survive in Libya before you leave?
A: Thank you. Yes, we have lots of food but no way to get the money out of the bank.
A never asks for gifts or money, she's too proud of a woman, but I'm MAN enough to know when she needs it. Over time she will come to respect me more and more based off my actions during crisis situations. She will also trust me more when I say there is danger coming, there is really danger coming. I know I scored a few more points with A for my actions. I don't need the points but just doing what a MAN should do.
The shooting that night was a humbling experience for her. The people she loved and country she grew up in for years is falling apart. She for the first time and so close to home can see how violent and dangerous people can get. For the first time ever, I sensed fear in her.
Last year A told me that Gadhafi was a great leader trying to do good for his country and she would vote for a guy like him. If a woman knew all what Gadhafi was about and supported a man like that, I wouldn't want to be with her because I couldn't respect her. A is too young to know of Gadhafi's sins and Libya's media and schools aren't going to educate her properly. I didn't tell A my thoughts about Gadhafi on the phone at the time because sometimes governments like Libya's listen and I don't want A to get in trouble. It's best she not say anything bad about Gadhafi so in a way I thought it good she thought Gadhafi was a good man.
Since her internet worked a little, I wrote an email describing the old Gadhafi and what he did. His country and people suffered since many countries didn't want to do business with him. Gadhafi is a better man today and that is what A sees. I see it too. He gave up his nuclear program and paid 1.5 billion $ to the families of the victims he blew up. America was warming up to Libya by opening a consulate there a few years ago.
A asks me although Gadhafi killed some people, is he any worse than America and the wars they've been through? I tell her America goes to war for a different reason and don't target civilians in airplanes. During the first Gulf War I signed up out of college to help the Kuwait people and to do something for my country. I don't love those people who I intended to rescue and I don't hate those people I intent to fight but I support one of the reasons for the mission and that is to make the world safer, and it protects my way of life and brings security for future generations. There's always someone out there that wants to take away your way of life. Once it's taken away, it's hard to get back.
When A comes to America, she will slowly understand there will be less stress and a feeling that this is a safer environment for her and future children. Many in the world can only wish they can live in a safe and stable environment. One day people are living fine and next day they have hours to move out of home, leave much behind and relocate or risk death. A is in this situation now.
I've been out of phone contact with A for the past few days. I don't know if the phone system been purposely turned off, destroyed or just too busy to handle all the calls in Libya. I'm sure many of you have read in the news today that Gadhafi went on TV and encouraging supporters to fight non supporters. She's going through a lot of emotions and I won't talk to her about all what's going on in Libya for a while since it hurts her. I'm sure she's losing faith in a man she once believed in since he encourages his people to die so that he may remain in power. All she needs to know now is that I care about her and that I will do what I can to help.
I come home today after work and read this email from her. “Bill, this is war....we have only one chance to leave Libya tomorrow.”
