Life Changes...Part Deux

[Turboguy]

Well the other problem might be if their K-1 application gets delayed long enough she may be too old for Billy then.
 
Don, I don't he meant that she weaved the basket but rather that she picked out and assembled the items in the basket in a creative and artful way.  That is just my interpretation.   

[Donhollio]

  BC & Turbo that does make sense. I really need to not post when I'm tired.

[BillyB]

Hi BillyB,
I have a couple of questions for you, if you feel like it (maybe you have allready said but I can't remember).
 
1. When is the wedding?
 
2. Have you met her father?

1) The wedding will be approximately 1 month after my goverment will allow A to come here.

2) No. A has a biological father that she grew up with when she was young. In her teen years she considers another man to be her father since he took care of her and had relations with her mother. The man is from Italy but after the war in Libya, they got separated.

I will add to those;

3. I vaguely remember you saying she's a "no sex before marriage" kinda girl. Does this still hold true and if so, how do you reconcile this with your views on the importance of sex and sexual compatibility.

4. Related to above; would you advise everyone that it's okay to get married before they've been intimate? Do you think it's wise to financially subsidize the life of a prospective partner before intimacy?

I need to talk about another topic in my next post before I can answer your questions pertaining to sex. The topic will help you better understand my answer. As for financially supporting A, I think it is wise in my case. She is my family. My family gets support. Non family members don't get that kind of support. When I'm dating women, they would have a hard time getting into my wallet.

Billy,
 Even though we go back a long way, I can't bring myself to post further here.  Good luck.

Feel free to come back anytime Tom.

I have two friends that went through almost the exact same tragedy. One was exactly twice her age (18) and the other was 22 years older than her. As you can see, very young girls. In addition, both came from small towns and didn't have much worldly experience.
 
The first guy was actually pursuing a woman closer to his age and was using a translator. The translator convinced my friend that the woman he was writing to was not a very honorable one. Then she suggested a nicer girl; her daughter. I remember him asking me about this situation and all I did was cringe. I didn't tell him anything negative nor positive. All I asked him was to think this clearly. Well, they married. They were married for 7 years and had a son. Then the 7 year itch happened. Suddenly he was despised by his wife. He is still scratching his head as he tells me they had 7 beautiful years together. I saw them together and they looked very happy. They are now divorced. I saw her not so long ago at a gathering of RWs and my, she looked used and abused. Very sad eyes. In addition, she was dressed like a tramp. It didn't help that her very good friend is Natasha Fatale. Boy, do people don't hide their dislike of her.
 
The second guy was contacted by the girl woman and after a few months dating they got married in Ukraine. They were married for 7 years and had twin girls. Then the 7 year itch happened. Same exact thing. She dispised him, started fooling around with every Tom, Dick and Harry and they ended divorced. She is always dressed for the kill and maybe for a very good reason. Someone has to pay for her bills.
 
Two almost exact cases, big age difference with very young girls. Very sad.
 
My advice to you, watch out for the seven year itch. I should know. My first wife was 21 when we married; I was 34. She moved out after seven years of marriage. It seems this happens to the very young women.

I don't know much about your or your friends or your ex's. I do know I'm a different kind of guy and my fiancee is different. The players in a relationship are responsible for the success or failure of it.

I know many men worry about if their woman will leave them. But what about how the man feels? What about how I feel? If A comes to America and she isn't the woman I fell in love with. I will scratch after 7 days. I will not wait for a 7 year itch. I won't put up with deception.

If there is a problem in our marriage later on, I will solve it and if she cares, she will solve it too. I will not neglect our marriage and let it deteriorate. I will not wake up after 7 years with her handing me divorce papers and asking myself "what happened?"  Things don't just happen. Many of us fail to read the signs and the unhappiness of our partners and nobody does anything about it. Some people don't realize how they are losing respect from their partner. They don't understand why their partner is sleeping in the other room except for the snoring excuse. They don't realize how their partner is losing interest over time. Nothing is realized so nothing is done until divorce papers are served.

Billy asked me if I thought he was immoral, and I responded.  This is, as far as I know, a forum.  Am I to lie?  He continued asking me, and I continued responding in the affirmative.  However, I haven't bothered to acknowledge his last three baiting posts, nor will I respond to Billy further.

You should quote me. I don't ask people to insult me especially when I know their answer. Search engine is working good. In Post # 247 you said you don't lie yet you tell everyone I repeatedly asked you to call me immoral. In Post # 668 you called me immoral on your own without me asking. You were the first person in this thread to bring up the topic of immorality and then later you go on to say my fiancee and her mom are immoral. I hope you'll be there to protect me next time I decide to trash another person and their family.

Anybody else feels I baited them into this thread and need some sympathy?

Boethius, you criticize people and you need to expect a response. I think I and others need to understand where you're coming from.

You claim my fiancee is using me yet she never asks for anything but in another thread you think it's okay for a RW to ask for a $700 coat after a few dates and a roll in bed with the man.

You think I'm immoral marrying a young woman yet you think it's okay for a man to bring nude photographs of himself to the FSU and show them to young girls at a disco.

I don't buy your brand of morality. Obviously my responses to your criticism has affected you. It's best to let it go and not get yourself in these situations if you can't handle what you dish out.
 

1.  Members warning Billy of the high risks.

I'm all for reducing risks. One reason I started this thread in near real time is to show people how many people I have to go through to find a good one, that's into me, and walking the same path in life.

People tend to think age is the problem with my fiancee. I know young people can greatly change over time but good people change for the better and bad for the worse. Thus we need to look at the individual. I also know most successful long term marriages are coming from young people who married early. I also know many of us older people will have much higher divorce rates.

I've mentioned this throughout this thread but I again sum up some ways to reduce risk in this endeavor.

1) I'm an improvement over my former self. I continue to improve. I can get a date with a woman everyday. I can get more than that from a woman everyday. I have found over 5 women who would marry me before my engagement to A. I judge myself today based off womens views of me and my success with them.

2) I have experience with a lot of woman and not afraid to dump pretty girls if they are incompatible or have bad attitudes. I have dumped more women than have dumped me.

3) All women I were in relationships with after my marriage are good women. There is nothing I can say bad about them. They will make someone a good wife. I've learned after my marriage and I'm a good judge of character. I encounter lots of women and then surround myself with good women and give myself a good opportunity to choose wisely when it comes to a wife.

4) I communicated with A for 1 1/2 years and she is always polite, good manners, and consistent in her attitude. Her feelings for me continue to grow over time and she talks to me more than I talk to her. She is not combative. We never argue. If we don't agree on an issue, the disagreement never escalates. Many times she's come back after doing some research and told me I was right.

5) I made a fake profile and I understand how A talks to people in private behind my back. She is always polite, good manners, positive attitude, and not afraid to tell them she's in love with me.

6) I know A particpates on a forum about books since she's an avid book reader. She is always plite, good manners, postitive attitude and not combative. If I could match her to one RW here, it would be Lily. A says "thank you dear" to people who give her a nice comment or answers her questions.

7) A greatly values family. She loves hers and always asks questions about mine.

8.)A treats people with respect including strangers and those in subordinate positions.

9) Her views on religion, politics, family and a man and woman's roles in marriage are the same as mine. She told me her views first. I always ask a lady for her views before telling mine so a woman can play me. It's another way I reduce risk from getting involved with the wrong women.

10) Besides my family, A takes great interest in my life. Always asking questions. Even getting on google earth and finding my house. We sit on the phone and talk about landmarks around the city. She's thinking of learning the roads before learning to drive.

11) I'm a big part of A's life. Sometimes when she's with other people I don't know, she will still talk to me on the phone. When she's with people I met such as her friends or mom's friends, she sometimes hands the phone to them because they want to say "hi" to me. Don't worry, those people aren't in the dark and they know our age gap yet respect me enough to want to send their greetings.
 

I'm writing this thread to help people. Help them reduce risk by making changes to themselves and how they find and identify people before bringing them into their lives. I knew I was and always be successful when dating and finding women. I'm always going to be happy as a single man or a married man. Regardless of what anyone thinks of me, if a guy isn't having the kind of success I'm having dating and finding quality people, he needs to rethink his way of doing business.

I'm just surprised that only two people come forth and said they are having similiar success as I. Those two guys post happy and I'm sure they are happy. They "get it"
 

So let's see if I can offer up a fresh take for the OP, how about dropping the "y" and changing your name to "Bill". I mean no ultimate male would be caught dead being called Billy, Jimmy, Bobby etc. in public after the age of 25.
 

Most people are uncomfortable calling me Billy and sometimes ask me if I prefer Bill. I tell them to call me whatever they are comfortable with. I've learn most people in management positions, the educated, and even my attorney call me Billy. It doesn't bother me.

Outlaw Billy the Kid wasn't ashamed of his name. Billy Jack was a tough guy. I know a big logger named Jimmy. Got to be tough enough to keep the "y" at the end of ones childhood name.
 

On topic: you know what, this thread has been developing SOOOOOO slow lately, that by the time Billy and A decide to marry, she won't be neither a teenager nor a gilr of college age any more, so I think everybody can stop worrying about morality of the situation

Earlier in this thead I got criticized for dating too much and been accused of having commitment problems. Then I got accused of deciding to marry too quickly. Now I'm going to slow. Nat, what can I do for you to make you happy? Anything you want. I do know how to make a lady happy.

On a more serious note, as time drags on, I get more time to understand A and she continues to be the person I know her to be and our relationship improves. Time and distance tend to separate people. People who just finished a trip, usually come back home on a high but the question is will it sustain? Will things get worse? Will things get better?

Mom is in Poland but thinking about quiting her job. She has to move patients who can't move themselves many times a day and being a small lady, it's wearing out her back. They didn't tell her this was in the job description but they may be promising her another job.

A will be a bridesmaid at her cousins wedding. She didn't accept the job at first and when I asked why, she said she didn't want me to be angry knowing how much I wanted her to be with me. I told her to go ahead and accept and we will schedule a medical exam and interview around her cousin's wedding if there are conficts. A was happy I made a decision for her happiness.

A still waits more than a week to pick up the $500 a month I send her. She doesn't tell me but I check on the Western Union site.

Our I-129F fiancee visa application is approved by Homeland Security finally. Our documments is at the National Visa Center and soon it will head to Ukraine.

Photo below of A with a young girl not related to her during a birthday party at a restaurant.
 

[Rubicon]

Billy, I really don't mean any disrespect, because I thought that your name was made up for the internet.  I've also grown to accept the fact that you're very dedicated to A; and even though I am ambivalent and have my doubts, it's your life.  Whatever happens, I really don't think that you will blame anyone; I think you've shown you will take responsibility that it was your decision to go this path.  And I can see by her photos one reason to choose her, she is very attractive and stylish.

Anyway, I hope you find this link funny, as I did.  It's not meant to be anything else:

Urban Dictionary: billyb t-shirts, mugs and magnetsYou +1'd this publicly. Undowww.urbandictionary.com/products.php?term=billyb&defid... - Cached - Block all www.urbandictionary.com resultsNot helpful? You can block www.urbandictionary.com results when you're signed in to search.www.urbandictionary.comword of the day define your friends dictionary my city store add edit blog ... billyb. Anyone who thinks that they are a "gangsta." ...

[HiTech]

Billb: In your last picture, is "A" in the white or red? 

[Kuna]

Billb: In your last picture, is "A" in the white or red? 

 

Now THAT is funny!

[Nat]

Earlier in this thead I got criticized for dating too much and been accused of having commitment problems. Then I got accused of deciding to marry too quickly. Now I'm going to slow.
Nat, what can I do for you to make you happy? Anything you want. I do know how to make a lady happy.

Honey, you're making me happy just posting The forum does need a public enemy - otherwise it gets so boring here

[Kuna]

Honey, you're making me happy just posting The forum does need a public enemy - otherwise it gets so boring here

Billy will undoubtedly see this as the biggest compliment he's received since A said to him,  "You're not as short as you look in your photos."

 

Billy,  I'm not actually suggesting A ever had any concerns at all over your height... I'm just having some fun.

[The Natural]

... I'm just having some fun.

Yeah, that's what Hitler also said to the Poles in '39. In '45 it wasn't so funny anymore 

[Faux Pas]

Billy will undoubtedly see this as the biggest compliment he's received since A said to him,  "You're not as short as you look in your photos."

 

Billy,  I'm not actually suggesting A ever had any concerns at all over your height... I'm just having some fun.

 

[Kuna]

Yeah, that's what Hitler also said to the Poles in '39. In '45 it wasn't so funny anymore 

What an idiotic thing to say... Not even slightly funny.

[Rubicon]

Now THAT is funny!

It's actually not funny at all Kuna.  Billy's fiancee is almost 20 years old.  The little girl in the photo clearly is not of legal age.  But if you think it's funny, so be it.  We all have different concepts about that.

[Boethius]

What an idiotic thing to say... Not even slightly funny.

I think that was his point.

Billy's fiancee is almost 20 years old. 

Nope.  She just turned 19.

[CanadaMan]

Yeah, that's what Hitler also said to the Poles in '39. In '45 it wasn't so funny anymore 

But it was still funny in '39  Natural ????????

[The Natural]

But it was still funny in '39  Natural ????????

For Hitler, yes. It's all about perspective.
 
Must be cautious about humour here too.

[Steamer]

 
 I can read your signature line. You've asked God to place you into a choke hold and cover your mouth. You're not playing God but just playing with him.  
 

I overestimated you.

[MarkLeftTX]

From my experience, once a RW determines that you're a MAN, she will listen to what you have to say and accept it.

OMG! I have to remember to come on this forum more often. It's always good for a laugh!


Now I need to go tell my wife that she needs to listen to what I say and accept it because I am a MAN...


Hehehe... I can't wait to see her reaction to that one!

[Jumper]

Mark,
please post photos of the black eye 

[MarkLeftTX]

Mark,
please post photos of the black eye 

Ha...no, she is more reserved than that. But I do get rolled eyes a lot. I keep telling her: "Hey, I keep hearing about how you Russian Women are submissive!"


"That's Asian women!" She tells me. "And you don't want a submissive wife. You'd be bored."


The best way I ever heard a Russian Woman described is: AN Iron Fist covered by a velvet glove.

[Daveman]

How do we Qualify?
The petitioner must be either a U.S. citizen or a permanent resident green card holder.

• The couple must be lawfully wed according to the laws of the place of marriage.

• Each person must have been eligible to marry, which means that all prior marriages must have been terminated.

• Bigamous marriages and same sex marriages are not recognized by U.S. immigration laws.

• Each person must be over the age of 16 years. If under 18 years, the consent of one parent is required.

• You must demonstrate that the relationship is sincere.

• You must have met in person prior to filing a petition for a marriage visa. A proxy marriage is acceptable so long as the marriage is consummated.

• The U.S. citizen or permanent resident must meet income guidelines or rely on a financial cosponsor.

• 
  Just adding this to the mix.  Whether BillyB's method, attitude, whatever will ultimately be successful long term remains to be seen.  One aspect, I believe anyway, is that good/bad, up/down, success/fail, whatever the situation, I think BillyB will be "man enough" to tell the story.
  
  This post is directed to those who indicate that his communication was somehow illegal. It wasn't.  Also, to those who believe it is "morally reprehensible" -  that determination is derived on an individual basis and not the responsibility of RWD to make such a judgement call. 
  
  Personally, I think BillyB will most likely have some rough days ahead because of the differences in "phases of life" and with her inevitable changes as she matures.  Hopefully my powers of prediction fall flat.  He'll deal with those and other problems if/as they manifest.  He and she have made a choice.  They are responsible for that choice.  I do wish them the best in every possible way.
  
  Dave

[Boethius]

I believe the late Mr. Neely suggested that had Billy contacted a 17 year old in some states, it would have been illegal.  I don't think anyone actually posted it was illegal.

As for morality, I'd suggest moral relativism is at play here.  In some parts of the world, it is perfectly acceptable to kill female babies.  In others, it is acceptable for adult men to marry 10 year olds.  In yet others, it is acceptable to own slaves.

I won't speak for anyone else, but for me, if this girl had been 19 at first contact, I would've thought the actions risky, but not morally repugnant.  However, the line was crossed two years ago, and it indicates something about character.  That doesn't change.

[Gator]

As for morality, I'd suggest moral relativism is at play here.  In some parts of the world, it is perfectly acceptable to kill female babies.  In others, it is acceptable for adult men to marry 10 year olds.  In yet others, it is acceptable to own slaves.

I won't speak for anyone else, but for me, if this girl had been 19 at first contact, I would've thought the actions risky, but not morally repugnant.  However, the line was crossed two years ago, and it indicates something about character.  That doesn't change.

And yet you personally defended Yanukovych when Jack quoted accusations made about him in the Western press. 
 
Let me pause and think.       You feel Yanukovych is maligned and BillyB not maligned enough?   Is your compass spinning?
 
Projecting 10 years into the future, would you still consider BillyB repugnant if the two were married, BillyB approaching 60 and she 30?     
 
 

[Boethius]

I didn't defend Yanukovych, and I certainly am not among his admirers.  I also don't think he is maligned, and never posted that he was.  I merely noted that:

1.  You can't take a Soviet criminal record at face value.   
2.  Rapists did not survive Soviet prisons, and further, a Ukrainian prosecutor who was attempting to open his record stated Yanukovych was never prosecuted for rape/sexual assault.
3.  Many innocent people plead guilty in Soviet courts, to avoid lengthier prison terms.  Consequently, a plea of guilty should not be considered de facto proof of guilt (as Jack alleged).
4.  The CPSU did not expunge criminal records and, therefore, Yanukovych was likely an informant valuable enough to the state to warrant such an extraordinary action, or already part of the system.

I never stated I view Billy as repugnant.  I stated what he did was, in my opinion, morally repugnant.  However, my perception of Billy's character will not change.

[Gator]

Boethius,

Call it what you want, but why do you rise to counter/defend at great length the accusation made about Yanukovych and not counter/defend the accusation made by one member against BillyB of child molesting (long ago deleted)?
 
 
 

[Boethius]

I don't recall anyone claiming Billy was a child molester.

Would you prefer I just remain silent, Gator?  I can certainly leave the forum.