Odessa and AnastasiaDate. A Risky Proposition.

[Lily]

Dears, I really don't understand why you criticize Neo's preferences in women. He wants a really gorgeous one, so what's wrong with that?

IMHO, it does not matter whether he looks breathtakingly himself or not. If he can attract beauties, then good for him. He wrote that he wants a nine. That's all right, if he can attract and keep one, we could only be happy for him!

Pity that we cannot see these girls who are Neo's prospects    Hope he will describe them for us in words.

Waiting for the next installment! 

[GoodOlBoy]

The few "models" that I have come in close contact with here in Miami, can best be described as "highly neurotic" (and I am being kind here), BUT...fun girls to be around.

Now I qualify a model as: stunning, 5' 9" - 6' + tall and usually weighing in at 110 and 125lbs.

Coincidentally, my wife and I were at the Miami (South Beach) food and wine festival (http://2011.sobefest.com/about.php) last weekend and they were also holding a model search/audition in another hall of the Miami Convention center.

Amazing how many Russian girls were there auditioning.

I am 6'2" and most were eye to eye and above with me.

Of course they had on heels.

GOB

[Aloe]

Dears, I really don't understand why you criticize Neo's preferences in women. He wants a really gorgeous one, so what's wrong with that?

IMHO, it does not matter whether he looks breathtakingly himself or not. If he can attract beauties, then good for him. He wrote that he wants a nine. That's all right, if he can attract and keep one, we could only be happy for him!

Pity that we cannot see these girls who are Neo's prospects    Hope he will describe them for us in words.

Waiting for the next installment! 

Lily, nobody is critisizing his choice of women, i am critisizing his choice of words. Can't run around calling everyone plain unless you are brad pitt yourself

[dbneeley]

In my experience, without extensive cosmetics and often photoshop work as well, many *models* don't look much like models. Finding a lady who is naturally gorgeous with no or minimum makeup is more of a rarity.

I lived in Santa Monica for some years, and many Hollywood types are around those parts often. In person, many aren't all that special although they obviously photograph very well.

Sheer looks were never on my particular list of mandatory qualities over others that I considered more important, but more power to those who want the whole enchilada.

I do agree with those who find most actual models much too thin--especially if you intend to ultimately have children with one. Some are thin to the point that childbearing is actually difficult if not downright dangerous. From my wild and crazy days, I also remember that very sharp, protruding hip bones aren't all that comfortable, to put it mildly.

I do wish Neo well on his endeavors--and I rather strongly suspect that his account is deliberately downplaying other qualities that he finds equally or more important to conventional beauty. The particular challenge he has set for himself is obviously entertaining from the outside, but it would surely not be a recommended strategy for the typical individual. Of course, the gentleman himself seems not at all typical either...

David

[Muzh]

Talking about models and photoshop, I spent my first honeymoon in the Hamptons. One day at the beach I saw this tall woman who reminded me of the big alien who stepped out of the UFO at the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. You know the type, neck long like a giraffe, extremely long extremities, and a Goyaesque face. BTW, not much in the boobs dept. and a Ft. Worth to Dallas figure. You may recognize her name: Elle McPherson.

[neo]

Hi All,

I was going to write something of an essay on the looks question but decided against it to prevent derailing my blog completely off topic. all i will say is that "model looks' is probably the wrong context, the girl I am involved with is more Rita Hayworth than Elle McPherson, when i say model I mean Playboy glamour girl not skinny vogue rake. girl with curvy hips, big chest and great legs and a healthy weight. i.e a B52 pin up not a mousey looking girl who works in a library. that said, I dont actually WANT a model for a LTR, i have been there and done that, they are filthy creatures and nobody wants a wife whose principal employment is getting nekkid and perved over my dirty italian photographers.

I will say this to frame the context;

Getting a highly ranked girl out of a highly popular town with regular (not RWD seasoned) joes such as Odessa is ' the grand prize' its like going out at monaco F1 in the rain in slicks on a 2 stop strategy and expecting to win from halfway down the grid. You would need to be Micheal Schumacher to do it.

If i didn't believe I had some pixie dust/x factor/desirability/charm/looks/sexual allure to persuade an attractive young girl to quit her quite lucrative involvement with a agency such as AD then I would be doomed to failure on this quest and suffer the same fate as everyone else who ever tried.

So my success entirely rests on one simple question.

am i THAT guy.

who is THAT guy?

he is the guy that gets the girl. quite simply if the girl who is attractive enough to warrant a lot of interest has her pick of guys then the only guy she is going to pick is THAT guy, shes going to need a pretty compelling reason to choose THAT guy over the OTHER guys and therefore by default you can presume THAT guy is something special to stand out from the crowd.

So its very simple Aloe, if i success then while not being Brad Pitt you can be safe in the assumption that I had enough about me as a man for a young attractive popular girl to give up her revenue generating opportunity and attention of other men to choose "the one". she will only do that because "the one" has her heart. she already has money without involvement so lets face it she is not going to "uncross her legs" as was put earlier for anything less.

Can I do it? am i enough? or am i quite plain.

we shall see....

[Shostakovich]

who is THAT guy?

In general terms the one who can best spawn and can protect progeny - The mating dance constellates primarily around ... mating, i.e. bringing the next generation up. The second principal is far more individual - That guy and that girl are defined mutually with respect to one another.  Relationships that satisfy the first consideration and not the second are unstable, since, as soon as nature has secured its aims in sparking a baby the relationship looses its Raison d'ętre and the partners move on.  This happens sometime between consummation and the time of the 7-year itch, when the child is no longer so totally dependent on having both parents to guide it.  Relationships that satisfy the second consideration and not the first have more trouble getting started - they are for those who maybe are not so juiced or who can not manage it.  In fact there are many very good relationships that are rather sexless.

... I had enough about me as a man for a young attractive popular girl to give up her revenue generating opportunity.

Part of the art of a woman's life is to know when to cash the chips in, since looks do not last forever.  If you find one whose light is on, you've got a chance. 

[neo]

THE FIRST DATE:

Ok so rather than go off on a tangent on some of the points raised I will continue with my report, some interesting topics raised that I would love to respond to but i suspect we would end up with a 18 page thread on the character failings of neo rather than a neo vs AD TR.

So here goes.

I am waiting outside the opera house in the freezing cold at the appointed time dressed in a italian suit trying not to get pneumonia. after about 10 minutes go by to see if my date is arriving fashionably late i decide to call the terp to see what gives, she could be stood 2 feet from me in the gloom and I wouldn't know.....

The terp answers and i explain who I am and I am waiting.....

shes surprised. " the date is tommorrow night - Sunday"

erm no, i explain, I got the date request confirmation back from AD for tonight.....

more surprise " i think there has been a mistake because you have told XXXXX in chat that you will arrive Sunday....

" but the date confirmation is saturday"

"you are in odessa?"

"yes i am stood outside the opera house freezing my arse off in a over-priced italian suit. so you aren't coming, ok well I think AD made a mistake because they sent the confirmation through for saturday".

"well XXXX told me you had changed your flight and were arriving sunday. so she arranged meeting for then with (our) agency"

bugger i think. shenanigans.

"ok well never mind we can meet tommorrow" i tell her, im too cold and jetlagged to stand arguing on my mobile at 4 USD a minute

"ok what time you want to meet"

" we can meet at 7 as arranged, its no problem"

"Ok well you have my number if anything changes you can let me know and i see you tommorrow"

"ok i say, see you tommorrow" and hang up before my mobile operator decide to take a months wages for further discourse.

So thats that, its a no show. bugger i'm cold.

Truthfully I was glad, i was jet-lagged as hell and wanted to get a good nights sleep, the prospect of having to sit through a first date and be interesting and charming was going to be a stretch, i head quickly back to the apartment as my unsuitable gucci shoes will allow in the ice and head straight to bed.

Now a lot went through my head at this point. i had gone prepared for a no-show for whatever reason so wasn't emotionally deflated at the end result, i was exhausted enough to be glad for the reprieve and a chance to settle in and get a decent night and days sleep and R&R before going on my date.

that said:

Losing an entire evening and days potential date time was quite a big deal on a 4 day sortie, so this was a fairly big blow to my game-plan. the weather was not in my favour though so any prospect of sunday outings were limited but even still it was not the result i was looking for, and of course it started the thought that this was going to be a trail of exscuses of failed appointments and delays until I departed followed by a follow on mail "maybe you can visit soon" yada yada yada.

I look at the possible scenarios that have led to this snafu, and to be fair on the one side I had changed the original arrangements quite late and then tried to address these directly with the girl in question during a chat session which muddied the waters somewhat with mistranslation as to the precise arrival time and meeting availability - on the other side this could have provided a less than scrupulous agency a get out of jail free card to play shenanigans and then blame circumstances. on the balance of probability you can either be really paranoid and say it was deliberate or more open minded and say well in complicated arrangements mistakes get made, the disconnect between girl, local agency then broker has a lot of chinese whisper steps for the arrangements to fall into disarray so there was simply no point in going berserk until the truth would out.

 I certainly didn't want to go off on a rant over and come across as a delusional nutter to the girl based on something that could be a entirely innocent mistake, of course the level of intel we have on this wholesale operation and its various tricks is legion and would lead to suspicion but there is a individual agency and girl involved who at this early stage motivations were not determined so one cannot simply presume the entire barrel is rotten due to the bad apples, therefore in balance I decide to keep a neutral opinion on this misfire and see what occurs in the next round.

I decided to think no more of it and get a decent nights kip in my bed.

DAY 2

So i woke up early due to the lag, and thought a little bit more about the previous nights situation. I have had on occasion been stood up deliberately and its always a really crap feeling both during and after the event knowing you have been given the run around, what gets worse is if you give a second or third chance and get more of the same, fool me once - shame on you - fool me twice shame on me definitely applies.

But I had to accept (without trying to be a protagonist apologist) that I had brought the situation to my own door with my last minute changes, the girl i was writing possibly hadn't grasped the finer details of my arrangements and we didn't have long a discussion or detailed arrangement so 50/50 blame both sides. the reality is you will never know the truth behind these situations and it could have been deliberate or accidental but no use crying over spilt milk - these are the key WOVO risks you take and the risks are increased on a very short duration trip.

I didn't head out until after lunch, it was cold but I needed to change some money and do a shopping trip. as it happens I had gone off quite half cocked the previous night with no local cash and just a fistful of dollars, i head up the main street and look for an appropriate exchange booth. i find the shopping arcade and head inside knowing them to be the usual safe hangout of money change booths, I head down to the basement where they usually put them and find the small cabin next to the supermarket entrance, i change 150 USD into local money which as usually takes forever due to the elaborate and pointless amount of paperwork and stamping involved by the usually grumpy faced young woman behind the counter who has all the cheer of a corpse.

I head into the supermarket and spend 30 minutes walking around trying to find the milk. I buy the usual assorted western tat men seem to purchase on foreign soil. Random bread, nutella, pringles, coke, biscuits. cheerios. milk and orange juice. I go to pay. the young lad behind the counter recognises my durak foreigner nature and gives me a wry smile after paying and says in english 'good luck' the way you say 'good luck' to someone boarding a nuclear submarine. i say thank you, for some reason it has resonance that I will indeed need it regardless of how the day plays out.

I head back to the apartment and prepare a gourmet meal of nutella bread, pringles, a bowl of cheerios and some haribo happy cola. its not Gordon Ramsey but if I could cook I wouldn't need a ukrainian wife.

I watch a bit of TV then decide a afternoon nap is the best way to burn through a few hours of boring afternoon without much stress.

I set my alarm for 6. the previous nights misfire and wait has given me something of a cold, frankly speaking i can't be arsed making any effort at all to prepare for this since after the previous night i have upgraded the risk profile of a complete wash out to red. i decide a shower is probably a good plan at least and iron a shirt, but given its now even colder I decide to forego the suit and wear a decent warm jumper instead. I get ready and leave the apartment with about 10 minutes to go.

So i walk back up to the appointed date the way you walk to a pointless appointment, I have to admit my expectations are beyond low, I treat it almost as a opportunity for a evening stroll than a exciting first date. i go through the potential outcomes of the next hour:

1: nobody shows up. Translator doesnt answer phone
2: nobody shows up, call translator more excuses 'manana'
3: translator shows up, girl doesnt
4; translator and girl shows up, girl doesnt have a bloody clue who i am
5: translator and girl shows up, girl knows who i am but would be more excited to watch paint dry and date is torture
6: translator and girl turn up, other unspecified disasters or it isnt even the girl i expected.
7: date goes well. (200/1)

so i arrive a bit late and do a lap of the opera house, the meeting location is actually in the wrong place from AD. at 7 on the dot i bite the bullet and ring the terp and get no answer. i do another lap and wait outside the main door for 5 minutes. bugger it i think, here we go again.

i decide i have come all this way so give the phone another shot, there is some groups of people stood outside the main door but its too dark to make anyone out as people are dressed for winter. I decide to pull a jason bourne and ring the terps phone and see who of the various groups answer.....

the phone rings and then answers.....

"hello?"

"hi - im waiting outside, where are you?"



TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!

[Lily]

  all i will say is that "model looks' is probably the wrong context, the girl I am involved with is more Rita Hayworth than Elle McPherson, when i say model I mean Playboy glamour girl not skinny vogue rake. girl with curvy hips, big chest and great legs and a healthy weight. i.e a B52 pin up not a mousey looking girl who works in a library.

[Anotherkiwi]

And do you look like Brad Pitt? I have nothing against men looking for model type girls, but i do have something against people running around calling women that aren't their type "plain janes". You know, some people consider model type girls plain janes, cuz they are so skinny and flat So let's not be calling any women plain janes ok? I suspect you are quite plain looking yourself. Most of people are.

Personally i find quite many models plain and almost ugly looking, especially ones with legs like this
http://www.demorgen.be/static/FOTO/pe/2/9/11/media_l_4069061.jpg?20110223173208

She smokes! That's enough, but the legs make it worse.

http://valerielouvet.typepad.com/.a/6a0120a57451b3970b012876d0c839970c-800wi

Yup, another one bites the dust.

But there are also a few i find very attractive, like this one http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1066514944/nm3356995

She's pretty enough, and she's this year's Swimsuit girl for Sports Illustrated, but I've met better!

Anyway, the point is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so let's refrain from calling people plain. (yes, i just did it myself, but i'm trying to illustrate a point )

Exactly!

[Gator]

Ok so rather than go off on a tangent on some of the points raised I will continue with my report, some interesting topics raised that I would love to respond to but i suspect we would end up with a 18 page thread on the character failings of neo rather than a neo vs AD TR.

Great! 

... pointless amount of paperwork and stamping involved by the usually grumpy faced young woman behind the counter who has all the cheer of a corpse.

[/quote]

You have a knack for coining a phrase.  I look forward to reading your first impression of Ms. Odessa.

[neo]

apologies for the long delay as I was en-route to the States and having arrived at the office realised the whole of the business went to hell in a handbasket while i was trapped for 12 hours on a transatlantic misery coffin.

THE FIRST DATE:

So the translator tells me she is still right outside the opera house, moving round the pillars and there waiting is 2 attractive young ladies one of whom is on the phone.

My date greets me with a big smile, this I take as a positive step forward since the alternative outcomes were her spraying me with mace and/or calling the police and issuing a restraining order.

I greet her and the translator, apologise for the missed connection as they had been waiting there last 10 minutes and I had not noticed due to doing a lap of the Opera house, I explain the vague meeting directions and previous nights SNAFU. both the interpreter and my date make apologies for the whole chinese whispers mix-up and I explain I now have something of a cold due to my previous nights missed encounter. They suggest getting out of the cold ASAP so i don't make my situation any worse and suggest a dining place across the street, I can't feel my toes so gladly agree.

My first impressions of my date is that she is as described, it has to be said (and something i am used to working in the creative fields) that her photos were not her best representation of her in person - as is often the way the camera has a habit of transforming someones character and look to the point you can make a lot of mis-assumptions about them, my dates slightly vampish man-eater appearance of her sultry photoset were in no way representative of the slightly shy, sweet and bashful young lady now stood before me. Her video however gave a true representation of her appearance, depending on camera angles, lighting and pose a photo can change someones appearance quite radically but video has a much more representative ability to capture someones facial expressions and persona, in any case the recognisable traits of her face, height and appearance meant that both her photos and her video were clearly the girl in front of me, and her photos had not been overly photoshopped to make a swan out of a duckling, for sure she had the wow factor but not as overtly so at first glance as I would have expected, but I was 100% happy with my choice.

We went into the resteraunt which was some sort of sushi oriental affair, its a curse of the modern era that all young women seem to love sushi and i would rather eat my dog than touch it. luckily they had some cooked stuff as well.

The place due to the locale was naturally expensive and bereft of customers as a result apart from some mafia family who clearly were happy to pay a premium for a uncooked meal.

The terp was attractive and young, 2 things I generally don't like in a terp since it can often cause issues with your date, you don't want to hit on or appear to hit on the terp, by the same token you have to do enough to impress your date to get a second encounter without going so far as a single attractive terp thinking you might be a good catch for her and putting the kaybosh on the whole deal. I presented my small gift to my date and she was suitably pleased. my first impressions of her were having a sweet and likeable happy go lucky character that was both natural and genuine.

So we did the usual introductory preamble where you attempt to discover exactly how much your date knows about you - did she really write all those letters or has she had a 5 minute read of them prior to date arrival to catch up on what she should have said. Now heres where it gets tricky, the girl I had chosen had a naturally conservative character and by virtue of her astrological sign (my best friend, father, former sister in law and niece are all the same sign as my date so I'm well aware of the character traits of this sign) is to be quite introverted, so getting information from them requires CIA levels of code breaking. However i was more interested in how she reacted to me now I was there in person that what may or may not have transpired during our letters.

Ordering was undertaken, having both jetlag and cold I wasn't that hungry and I had just had a week of proper asian cusine so the ukrainian fascimile would be no substitute for a genuine thai or vietnamese offering but I ordered stuff just to show willing.

Lots of the usual discussions and investigations into my work, character and history - generally I would say i found myself answering more questions from my date that being able to field them - again a naturally inquisitive nature of this astro sign and something I am well used to.

Now I would not say this was a spectacular first date - I arrived with a good dose of cynicism and my choice of date was deliberately chosen as being a better long term match than short term firework, so i was aware from the off this would likely be a slow burn get to know each other first before the magic happens sort of encounter. I can't say i really took to the terps character, she was a nice enough girl, business like, straight forward and good at her job with impeccable english but she was there to do a job and I didn't really make a big attempt to charm her or get her on side since my overall plan was not to use such services if it could be avoided.

The date lasted about 2 hours I would say, my date and I had already discussed cutting the agency out of the look post first meeting so it was going to be an important test of what would happen next. My date quizzed me on my plans for my stay and I communicated I had no other plans apart from seeing her or catching up on some paperwork for my job at the apartment. it was cold and snowing so I wasn't in the mood to play tourist. I asked her what she was doing the next day and she said she would be working but she had a flexible schedule, she would see what appointments she had and let me know, i gave the terp my apartment landline number so she could make the arrangements, i also made sure I had one of my business cards with the apartment address and number written on the back. I made sure I gave this to my date directly so she had capability them to get in touch with me outside the agency system.

I didn't want to extend the date as we were running on AD overtime rates and enough had been done for a first date to get the measure of each other. the only phone call my date received during our meeting was from her mother (since I understood quite a bit of the conversation her mother was making sure she would be home on time and she was safe, my date explained she was with (the terp) and quite safe and made some complaint to her mother along the lines of "don't you want me to find a decent husband...."), since my date lived at home with her mother and expressed she was quite close to her family this all seemed par for the course,

So had to sign off the AD statement of services, I agreed with the terp to sign off that we had actually conducted the date the previous night as originally planned as my terp was concerned their agency would get into some trouble with AD for the mixup so I didn't see what harm it would honestly do and signed off the form that probably suggested i would never sue AD regardless of whatever they did to me.

my date phoned for a taxi and I got the bill for the meal.

The bill came to around 75 USD which was predictably expensive and rubbish in equal measures at 25 USD a head for 3 courses and drinks.

I gave my date 15 USD for the taxi fare to cover both ways. I paid 20 USD from the airport one way so I figured it was reasonable and she certainly wasn't going to be emigrating to Monte Carlo on such an amount.

We went outside and parted company, I walked back towards my apartment with the interpreter who lived in the same direction, she indicated she thought I would probably be quite successful finding a girl there because I work internationally and could choose to base out of Odessa as well as any other country it would appeal to girls who may want a foreign husband but not particuarly want to leave their family and friends to go to another country. I parted company with the terp and thanked her for her efforts and headed back to the apartment.

In summary of my first date feelings:

the girl was genuine and the girl from the photos, her character pretty well matched the tone of our letters, that said its probably not easy to tell at this stage if she wrote them or not, that said she referenced a lot of our prior topics of conversation and chat so she was expecting me and knew about me. her smile when we met was one of recognition rather than surprise so I don't really feel it was a setup or shenanigans.

do i think my date chose an exceptionally expensive resteraunt for the sake of it? not really, i clearly had a cold so I think she was more motivated by the desire to get out the cold asap than fleece me as they gave me an open option to choose any resteraunt I wished. the taxi fare wasn't excessive and my date clearly seemed motivated to get to know me and was lovely and charming throughout so i didn't feel i was in the company of a pro-dater. she was also dressed very conservatively and in keeping with her character so she didn't have the air of a ultra-natasha.

My overall conclusion at the end was, nice girl, neutral outcome - lets see what happens next.

Now the power was really in my dates hands as I had kept the potential for a follow on meeting open without actually having booked anything, I had provided her with all my pertinent contact information such as cell number, apartment landline number and also email address which was at my place of work (also on my card) to put her at ease that should i turn out to be a maniac she could at least have me reported to my superiors, but beyond that I left it for her to choose any further involvement - if she didn't get in touch I would figure AD had kept their obligation but it was a no-go for whatever reason, if she did get in touch then she had further reason to engage with me either for personal or professional reasons and the manner of such involvement would determine what her motivations were.

So thats it. its not that exciting really looking back in retrospect and its a bucket of cold water for any guy expecting the moon to land in your lap and instant love gratification after a lengthy correspondance, generally my feeling is that first date is ground zero - you reset the relationship clock back to zero and generally regardless of how well any letter or chat has gone you relearn each other all over again in person and women are often enthusiastic during their letters (dream mode) but much more realistic and conservative in reality, while my letters were no especially over-sentimental i definately got the impression the girl i met was much deal shyer and more modest in person, not that her letters were BS as they too expressed a certain modesty but things like writing 'kiss you' are much easier to do in words than in person. not that this is a bad thing as generally a lot of girls i have met over time have had a similar problem to men in this quest that they find it much more difficult to engage with the opposite sex and such shyness or modesty is often translated into dating difficulties that cause them to pursue this channel in the first place but these things are hard to judge in real time and often you can only get the measure of what it really 'all meant' retrospectively once you are armed with the full facts.

NEXT UP:

POST DATE BLUES

[neo]

by the way, before the detail freaks pull me up for the fact 'kiss you' is a generic term of endearment to EE girls and does not mean one can expect hanky panky. i know this, I was merely pointing out a lot of girls write quite different things in letters in 'dream mode' never expecting you will actually turn up and be a real person, when you do actually turn up all their sentimental wishful thinking is thrown out the window as they realise you are actually not Batman but Bruce Wayne.

but without the money.

[Shostakovich]

So we did the usual introductory preamble where you attempt to discover exactly how much your date knows about you - did she really write all those letters or has she had a 5 minute read of them prior to date arrival to catch up on what she should have said. Now heres where it gets tricky, the girl I had chosen had a naturally conservative character and by virtue of her astrological sign (my best friend, father, former sister in law and niece are all the same sign as my date so I'm well aware of the character traits of this sign) is to be quite introverted, so getting information from them requires CIA levels of code breaking. However i was more interested in how she reacted to me now I was there in person that what may or may not have transpired during our letters.

I'm guessing Virgo 1st and Pisces 2nd

[LAman]

Thanks for the story of your trip neo. I enjoyed reading your thoughts...just felt like 'we' were there with you!!!
Look forward to rest of story.

Talk about deja vu......I too met with a girl from AD and her terp at Opera House.....went back and forth a couple times while on phone to find each other. Probably best to meet at water fountain on side. I had been to a japanese restaurant across from opera house, probably one before the current one, but I DO remember it was expensive.
Sure you knew this but for 50 uah you can get to almost any area around odessa in a taxi.

I did what you did a couple times with 'model' types....seems they all speak little to no english. I thought it was an excellent learning experience.........one was totally into herself while the other was down to earth and unfortunately guys wrote her off based on her model photos. Yes, I know, can I get a mulligan?

[Lily]

Thank you neo, this is the TR that shows a number of details to consider when making a trip to find a bride.

At the same time, I did not found any remarks about whether the girl showed signs of interest toward yourself. Did you notice anything of that? Based on your own impressions on that date, would you consider her a prospect? Would you like to continue with her?

[Rubicon]

keep it coming, Neo!!   

[Gator]

At the same time, I did not found any remarks about whether the girl showed signs of interest toward yourself. Did you notice anything of that? Based on your own impressions on that date, would you consider her a prospect? Would you like to continue with her?

Neo is keeping his cards close to his chest.  He gives a clue with the closing words "POST DATE BLUES."

He wrote "nice girl, neutral outcome - lets see what happens next."  He purposefully did not take the initiative to arrange a second date, and left the ball in her court.  I gather she has to call him.  Not sure this works well with RW, especially one Neo has described as "... much deal shyer and more modest in person..."  However, he has broken several rules in making this trip, so why not break another?!

We will see I hope. 

[chivo]

He wrote "nice girl, neutral outcome - lets see what happens next."  He purposefully did not take the initiative to arrange a second date, and left the ball in her court.  I gather she has to call him.  Not sure this works well with RW, especially one Neo has described as "... much deal shyer and more modest in person..."  However, he has broken several rules in making this trip, so why not break another?!

Of course there are always exceptions, but no it doesn't work the vast majority of the time. I agree it is a good read, but as he mentioned I was left with that all too familiar strange ending that seems to happen in a majority of American movies that somehow fail to deliver after a good build up. And since he is the "writer and director" here he really should have taken the bull by the horns and not leave the chance to a potential leading lady.

I think one thing that often gets overlooked in these relationships is, because of its nature, the fact the many of these relationships take time to build chemistry. I get the feeling that most want "fireworks" instantly as if all you need to do is add water. I'm also left with the feeling that the trip was taken on too much of a whim that he could/would easily toss aside unless he was moved by some all too unrealistic "bang" from the first meeting.

My current relationship would have never survived with this mentality as she and I could barely communicate for the first year because of my lack of Russian and her unrefined English skills which made her nervous and apprehensive to speak. As uncomfortable as it was at times for some reason (probably the sex ) we stuck it out and now it couldn't be any more comfortable our improving language skills notwithstanding. She never called or pursued me during that first year.

Neo is certainly a veteran who knows the game and I'm just going on my feelngs as I don't know all that has happened at this point given what I've read. But, I can't help getting the feeling that if it was left up to her to move the relationship forward, this would have at best sent the wrong signal and what eventually happened was nothing more than a casting call where the potential leading lady never had a chance to get off the couch.   

[Rubicon]

Neo, we are waiting for you to finish this trip report!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Speedbump]

+1

[Vincenzo]

Neo, we are waiting for you to finish this trip report

Let me guess, she didn't call.

I don't understand this whole affair.

I think you can call an Anastasia's lady and exchange your email addresses and phones. When a girl likes a man, it'll be obvious because she'll try to be in contact as much as possible.

[Gator]

Be patient guys!  Neo is busy. 

Upon meeting the Anastasia RW, he quickly fell in love with this glorious woman.  He quit his job and did not return home, deciding instead to never let the love of his life out of his sight. 

Now he is busy working low paying jobs in Odessa and searching for better opportunities.   His sacrifices are immense, yet something a man in love must do.  A fairy tale come true.

[Rubicon]

sorry Gator, but in his TR Neo mentioned he was heading to the US, and after that we have not heard back from him.  it is of course possible that he has returned to visit her since, that they are in love, and than Neo wishes to surprise us with good news.  more likely is that Anastasiadate has destroyed the prospects for love of one more sucker.

[neo]

"the reports of my romantic death have been greatly exaggerated!"

Greetings all and thanks for your patience, apologies for the extended cliff-hanger!

So actually Gator is quite close to the reasons of my absence, although in a large part a hectic work schedule was to blame, I managed to spend about 3 days at home before jetting off to Dubai then back to Asia to work on a big deal for my company, so for the past several weeks my routine has involved extended hospitality courtesy of emirates business class and lots of hotels, work and jet lag juggled with attempts to keep my romantic fire burning brightly, so now I have 10 days of blissful vacation time I will try and bring y'all up to date with happenings from where I left off.

Firstly to answer the question about what impression I got from her from the first date - i did pick up on a positive 'happiness to see me' when we first met, having met girls who seemed indifferent to my attentions she was warm, smiling and interested so I did not get any sense that she was unhappy with the first impressions of our meeting, and she obviously had a good idea who i was. The reason I have been deliberately coy in expressing my opinions of her likely sense of attraction to me was that at this point I had not yet discovered the "lay of the land" - women make great actresses but I felt a honesty about her that I have not always found in all meetings, but I did not want to read too much into things at this stage simply because its easy to become enamoured by the hype and want to read more into something than reality presents hence I was keeping an open mind about how things would go - in this respect I was treating it like a ground zero blind date assuming all correspondance prior to this date was fabricated.

Regarding putting the ball in her court, this is a controversial tactic with women, as rightly pointed out it can be read a number of ways from indifference to arrogance, again its not a rule i would follow unless i was sure of my 'mark' - it depends a huge amount on the girl, girls of the particular sign I met while being shy and demure like to lead therefore they generally if they are interested are happy to move rather than be pushed so it was a important intel exercise to determine her sincerity and ultimate aims. I had given her my business card with work no, email and contact details (which AW did not have) so i was intrigued to discover something about her future motivations and ties to the agency, its not foolproof but the intelligence business never is. just ask the CIA....

POST DATE BLUES:

so our initial meeting was the regulatory 2 hours, this is no bad thing but after 1 year of waiting it is always a anti-climax. 'leave them wanting more' is a nice maxim but plays havoc on your nerves, curiosity and desire to get your game face on. Its a bad situation made worse when you are out of your home field because normally you have a lot of distractions like family, work, friends to deal with that your focus is not entirely on the outcome of a date - being in country all alone you have nothing but time to think.

it was cold, I got back to the apartment and it was still relatively early and I was quite depressed - there is always that sense of not knowing, did it go well? did it not go well? did i make a good impression? is everything genuine or am i being fished? - these are all questions that prey on your mind in the 'bitter watches of the night' - this is much worse in an apartment, at least in a hotel you can resort to getting drunk in the hotel bar. you have to be careful not to over-analyse. paranoia is the death to all romance, if you come over like a suspicous paranoid nutter you are not likely to engender any sense of confidence or calmness that you have your emotional and psychological faculties in order. Just because you got your citibank amex raped by a prodater in Lugansk is no exscuse to treat your dealings with the next virginal home girl you meet like a transaction with a amsterdam window girl.every encounter you have to keep the right level of radar on scan whilst being pragmatic enough to know every encounter is a clean slate.

The best cure for this is always sleep in my book. shutting down your brain and letting time wash away being blissfully unaware of the emotional turmoil your heart seems determined to place on you is no bad thing.

I woke up late - nearly lunchtime. Would she call? should i call? would that be the last I ever see of her? as it happens my iphone chirped into the life with the answer, she had emailed me her skype details and a picture, told me she had a lovely time and would like to see me again.

So i dropped her a return email so she knew she had the right address and fired up skype for a chat.

Now here is the reality shock for anyone who STILL doesn't believe what my personal terp refers to as "the factory" - the letters and chat I get from my girl direct are NOWHERE near the linguistic tone of the letters and chat from AW, i would say of the chat time i spent with AW maybe 3/10 of them were actually her and the rest were AW flunkys, as for the letters while the content may have been originated from her the letter was so blatantly rewritten it actually told me nothing of her personality. my girl writes like a typical young girl that anyone who has ever read a facebook board will be familiar with, its easy to spot in retrospect that she writes how she talks to me, brief, not in exceptional depth and quite fluffy and girlish as opposed to the mature insightful letters i got from AW.

This is a REALLY important distinction to make for guys still in love with their letters and photos from AW. both have NO bearing on the truth or reality of a girls personality. This can come as quite a shock to those not prepared because "the factory" is selling you a marketing ploy, and what you are getting is a atypical 20 something cheerleader type who REALLY isn't interested in your lawnmower or golf clubs.

This is why i remark that any AW personal meeting is a pure 'ground zero' blind date crapshoot, if you don't intend to visit the girl(s) as soon as your 5 letter mandatory period is over then you are wasting both your time and effort for no result, you will learn nothing about her except at a F2F meeting since there is a more than 90% chance the girl you meet has no idea who you are.

So she tells me she has to work today, but she will be free at 7 and will pick me up at my apartment, we agree a mutual freelance interpreter, we chat for a while until her next work appointment.

So my gamble did pay off, i will explain why i did it this way. First meetings are make or break, its the first time you actually have something approaching a normal dating context and figure out if the reality matches the dream (on both sides) this is always 50/50. there is a chance you do nothing for her and she is not going to take it further, if you sticking with the agency then its easy enough to fire off another shot and see if its accepted but if you want to go solo its trickier, if you ask for her phone number or contact details then maybe she will be uncomfortable because she does not know you yet and does not want to be stalked by some babnik nutcase, "refusal often offends" so you put her in a difficult position, the way i dealt with it was to give her my business card and tell her i know she is busy with her work schedule and i have a flexible schedule so i would like to see her again but will be happy to fit in with her, so she can check her work times and then get back to me when she is free. that way I have invited her second date and further meeting but given her the power to decline it without embarrassment. most girls if they are interested enough will take this lead and feel comfortable making the second move since they are merely responding to a open invitation that allows them to fit in to their life. it also empowers them that they have your contact info indepedent from the agency so are free to either arrange the follow on through the agency or go direct. generally if a girl wants to continue with her agency then alternate business models are at work or she really isn't sure of you yet. Since most of the girls know several freelance terps who work multi-agencies she can freely choose someone she knows or likes working with to ensure she is chaperoned. is it realistic to expect a young woman to turn up solo for a second date? in reality of the modern era of sex traffickers, date rapists and general nutters the AW fraternity have attracted I do not believe so. For sure a "party girl" or girl of loose morals or character or a older woman of confidence is not going to have an issue with it but a young girl is not going to feel comfortable without a friend there. I think if you are going to be a gentleman and are seeking out a girl with decent values you cannot really push for "solo time" too early until you have built up some degree of trust and she is comfortable with you, probably you have met her family or friends and she is no longer concerned you will put her in the boot of your Audi and sell her into sex slavery in Istanbul. So personally I don't have a problem with it. For sure there are girls who abuse the terp system to work a chap over, common sense should dictate your assessment of how genuine a girls intentions and motivations are. And generally if you choose a freelance translator you are both happy with who you pay directly and the agency is out of the window then you should be happy simply to arrange the service you are comfortable with.

So i go off and get some more monopoly money and some shopping then get ready for my date. a customary afternoon nap is engaged in to burn off a couple of hours wait time and as usual my date prep is a last minute rush....

THE SECOND DATE!