Age difference again: a cultural variation?

[Mir]

vrvw

As someone who works in the medical profession I would like to inform you that men are using Viagra regardless of who they are making love.
In fact men who are starting relationship with much younger women are very fond of it since they want to have the ability of a younger man.
Now I am not saying that this applies to any man who posts here,just some general information.

[Turboguy]

I have even heard of very young men using Viagra because they think it enhances their performance.   Still I am sure from a woman's point of view it makes her feel desirable to know that her man is turned on by her and not a chemical.   Conversly I don't think Viagra will do anything for a man unless he is also aroused by the woman.

[Jazzyclassy]

        Men’s physiology is such that men even in young age are not able to make love with woman who they do not find attractive and it is not important how much the unattractive woman wants them.   

think what you think  I got another point

[Zmejka]

Does someone think the women I enumerated above HAD to low their expectations when they were looking for husband?

I believe i typed "women after 30/40 with children" - by this i meant divorced women with 1-2 children. Your examples though very  assuring show us the girls under 30, never married and only one of them has children.
By typing "they low their standarts" i mean usual cry that i read on russian forums for foreign wives - when she's in the process of divorce and her husband suddenly becomes "an old fart" literraly translated. But before that it was said of course that "he was so kind and caring towards me, i fell in love and our age difference didn't bother me". So i assume that such statements in the beginning were false and the correct attitude was expressed only when she felt the heat under her feet.

Can you tell us although 4 Examples of women who we all know here on RWD and who have big age difference in connection with they HAD to low their expectations?

No, i can't. And whose wife being still a wife and not insane would speak about it? Sometimes such stories can be heard only after one's divorce.

The reasons such marriages happen are well-known - real fondness towards each other, getting help and appreciation during the first years of immigration, you name it. They can go together, only the first reason can play the most important role or the second one. The reasons why those marriage have higher risks to fail are also well-known: the question with joint kids, the changed standarts of a woman getting to a different society, even lack of sexual relationship when a women in her 30s and a men - in late 50s-60s. Viagra can not always be a solution. But it all depends on a couple and their attitude to this process, quiet or no.

I just want to tell that untill a person can say, even after breaking up that time spent with a man - with age difference between them or not - was worth it and she doesn't regret having been involved into the relationship ) (thus she doesn't call him names, doesn't say - "he wanted a young body, i gave it to him and now he throws me away", something nasty like that) - then i have respect for such women.

I want to translate one girl's comment that she posted about her ex-husband, it concerns age difference and the reasons she got into that marriage (now she's divorced). I hope it doesn't touch any privacy as it was posted already on another forum.

My husband was 40 years older than me (i was 25, he was 65).

When i think about it now i feel scared: God, what i was thinking about that times? It was more than 10 years ago, i lived in a very rural place and everybody spoke about going to the US like going to the moon there. I didn't even know about the internet that times, nothing about fiancee visas, filing documents for it, INS etc. On one forum 1,5 year ago a woman complained that she's 37 with one child and she's beeing contacted by only old men. I was 24, young, pretty (only now i understand that), never married, no kids and i got a reply only from a 64-year-old man. But i thought that times it was a great luck for me! My way of thinking was very simple: if our russian men are so peculiar in girls, so to get married an american one should be at least supermodel! And then i got a reply from an american! Now i'm laughing when remembering how i went to meet him in Moscow, it was en euphoria, my legs were shaking, ears couldn't hear, he was saying me something and i was standing and could only smile back. Before leaving for the US one attorney told me that if something i don't like overthere my fiance should buy me a ticket back home. But when i landed in San Francisco airport and looked around i thought that he could beat me or not give food - but i won't ever come back! I can't tell whethere i felt love for that man or appreciated him, but i felt like a real woman in the US, he raised my self-esteem by constantly repeating: you're beautiful and smart woman, and i believed him, i noticed what handsom men payed attention to me. My husband helped me and morally supported to involve into studies here, to find a good job. Our relationship lasted for 4 years them i wanted a normal family and children. I quited him, soon met another men of my age, now we have a family, house, children etc. If i think of my "grandpa" now i can remember only good about him, if i didn't meet him i would stay the same provincial girl.

I don't want to say this is a typical scenario, it's just one of the variants as quite many girls live not in the capitals, still many use agencies and can fall for their fairy tales etc. But one never knows until one tries. Only time can judge it all right. Good luck!

And the last - i see a bit of a tendency that marriages with age difference like 25-30 years and more happen when a woman is still in her  mid (sometimes early) or late 20s. I saw quite a many women's replies in their late 30s, early 40s that they would think very long accepting even 15 years difference, not talking about 30.

[mspanky]

 I moved this from a "different Topic" as I think it is more appropriate in this conversation. This is a link to an Egyptian forum where the Western women are marrying men up tp 29 years their junior. It seems the Egyptian men are much more mature and have a love for older women. Is it cultural or something else?

Do men really love much older gals, or are these women trying hard to convince themselves? Read on........

http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=002762

[Jazzyclassy]

        My husband was 40 years older than me (i was 25, he was 65).

When i think about it now i feel scared: God, what i was thinking about that times? It was more than 10 years ago, i lived in a very rural place and everybody spoke about going to the US like going to the moon there. I didn't even know about the internet that times, nothing about fiancee visas, filing documents for it, INS etc. On one forum 1,5 year ago a woman complained that she's 37 with one child and she's beeing contacted by only old men. I was 24, young, pretty (only now i understand that), never married, no kids and i got a reply only from a 64-year-old man. But i thought that times it was a great luck for me! My way of thinking was very simple: if our russian men are so peculiar in girls, so to get married an american one should be at least supermodel! And then i got a reply from an american! Now i'm laughing when remembering how i went to meet him in Moscow, it was en euphoria, my legs were shaking, ears couldn't hear, he was saying me something and i was standing and could only smile back. Before leaving for the US one attorney told me that if something i don't like overthere my fiance should buy me a ticket back home. But when i landed in San Francisco airport and looked around i thought that he could beat me or not give food - but i won't ever come back! I can't tell whethere i felt love for that man or appreciated him, but i felt like a real woman in the US, he raised my self-esteem by constantly repeating: you're beautiful and smart woman, and i believed him, i noticed what handsom men payed attention to me. My husband helped me and morally supported to involve into studies here, to find a good job. Our relationship lasted for 4 years them i wanted a normal family and children. I quited him, soon met another men of my age, now we have a family, house, children etc. If i think of my "grandpa" now i can remember only good about him, if i didn't meet him i would stay the same provincial girl.
             

Very good example of so many cases like that
and that was  what I was trying to tell  and express, but it is in vain .....

that is just so typical , this woman used the guy and after some years she posted that in the forum describing this , as a Star memories of her life , how she made herself such a successful woman , But by what price,  what ways were used in helping her to reach her goal  from provincial cheap random girl she thought she became american hot self confident glamour girl! She is still the same  provincial girl she just used people in order to get where she wanted, This old grandpa how she called him was her weapon , was her profit and he actually was a victim

So that is another example of such age gap , it  is usually never genuine between a young girl and old man , it is a mutual profit for sure ( he wants a young girl  for sexual stuff , for boasting to his friends -look what a young wife I got , she wants good life , luxury and so on )
 But let those people who truly believe it is genuine believe in what they believe , cos they wont listen  anyway , they will just blame people who try to tell them the opposite.

[mspanky]

 a man witgh a much younger foreign gal is not a victim. Neither is a woman who chooses a much younger foreign man.

[Mir]

JC

It is can be genuine for everyone and not genuine for everyone depending on what criteria one uses.
All of us have our own agenda for the actions we take only some of us are unable to admit this and keep living a life of self-deception.

[mspanky]

I'd like to have a woman's or guy's take on sex with a much older spouse AFTER the divorce. That's when the truth really comes out! Boy it probably would not be a pretty picture!!I personally could not see myself having sex with a woman old enough to be my mother or grandmother. I got sick just writting this!! But I guess to a few guys that may be a turn-on.

[Jazzyclassy]

        I personally could not see myself having sex with a woman old enough to be my mother or grandmother. I got sick just writting this!! But I guess to a few guys that may be a turn-on                 

the same thing here, would just simply die I think.....

[Mir]

JC

Do you mean you would be happy to do it with a young woman?

[Jazzyclassy]

    Do you mean you would be happy to do it with a young woman?     

hahhaha you wish:)

[Pike]

Men’s physiology is such that men even in young age are not able to make love with woman who they do not find attractive and it is not important how much the unattractive woman wants them. Keep it in mind if the ability to make love with you is the most main thing when you are looking for boy.

- - - - -

Turbo, I say again; this woman of yours is so smart it is scary!!

I am constantly criticised by women because I will not date those that are pleasantly plump and beyond.  But it is very simple.  My equipment will not perform for such women.  They contend that if I want sex enough, everything will work.  However, it is not true; at least for me.

Anyway, I am thinking the age difference between Turbo and VWRW is not as great as has been stated.  I think VWRW is much older, since she is so wise.

[Mir]

Or Turbo is much younger

[Pike]

Olga

Since the availability or Viagra etc. the question of sex and age is no longer valid

Mir, I am quite surprised at this coming from you.  You are a medical doctor - - - right??

Viagra, et. al., will help in the case of vascular and nerve problems related to erections.  However, these medications are of no help with desire.  Testosterone production starts to diminish from age 20 on.  There is however, a tremendous difference in the absolute levels from man to man.  So some 60+ y.o. men can have higher desires than a 30 y.o. man.  But for a man of any age, with little desire for sex, viagra and other such will be of no help.

Also in this regard it is silly when we hear women complain; saying they need help with their diminished desire and get no help, whereas men have viagra.  Same fallacy of comparing desire with ability.

Actually women are very lucky because they don't have to worry about the ability part, and hence will never be ridiculed for inability to perform.  No I am not saying it is OK that they may be lacking the desire.  The desire problem applies to both females and males.  With viagra, the males and females are put on a more even level with respect to ability to perform.

[Mir]

Pike

First of all my comment was a light hearted one and not a serious medical statement.
However it is true in some ways.
It is known that with age there is a decrease in the strength and sustainability of the erection.So many men have the desire but cannot preform i.e the flesh is week.....
This has now been taken out by Viagra.
Sure if you have no desire then Viagra is useless,but it sure enables older men to preform at a level they could in their youth.

[Pike]

I believe that is why the men seek such women to be their wife with who they do not need to use Viagra to make love.

- - - - -

Wooops, I may have spoken too soon re the wisdom of VWRW.  VWRW, I don't think you really understand what viagra does.  Read my post above.  For a man with vascular or nerve problems, he will not be able to obtain erections regardless of the beauty or attractiveness of the woman (however you want to measure it.)

However, you are not alone.  Recently Donald Trump said in an interview:  "If a man needs viagra, he has the wrong woman in bed with him."  Just a totally stupid remark and a tremendous lack of knowledge.

[Pike]

Still I am sure from a woman's point of view it makes her feel desirable to know that her man is turned on by her and not a chemical.

Wrong thinking.  The chemical viagra does nothing for desire

Conversly I don't think Viagra will do anything for a man unless he is also aroused by the woman.

Yes, you got it right here

How can you understand one part and not the other?

[mspanky]

 There are good looking guys who are young and verile that will sleep with a not so perfect woman if that's what's available all the time . They may not admit it to their friends and sneak her out the back door. But guys have been having sex in desperate time to ugly women forever. That is if he is healthy and horny.  Burt Reynolds was sleeping with Dinah Shore. He's probably done worse. Arnold sleeps with horseface Maria,he also has probably had sex with worse. men ain't as picky as we try to pretend when it comes to sex.

[Mir]

And Pike I am a dermatologist and many don't consider us to be er proper doctors

[Pike]

Back to Mir's original question:  I have been with women in both Russia and Ukraine.  I have been with women who were 2 years younger than me and those who were 27 years younger, and many other gaps between these two extremes.  Actually, I never noticed a great deal of difference in our relationships.  And none of the women made any comments at all about the age differences, although they may have been thinking something.  I never saw anyone on the street or in public places staring at us.

Actually, I have had nearly the same age gaps with women here in USA.  And no one has mentioned anything about it and I haven't really noticed any meaningful differences.

However, the age gaps of 25 years or more may become more of a problem as they both age.

For a man of 55 and a woman of 30; if the man has kept in shape, he can probably keep up with the woman in terms of a hike up the mountain side, a day of swimming, a night out of dancing, etc.

But when time goes on so that the man is 85 and the woman is 60, then there can be some real differences show up.

[Pike]

Duplicate post

[Pike]

And Pike I am a dermatologist and many don't consider us to be er proper doctors

Yours is the perfect specialty.  You don't have to worry that your patients will die from it; and they also will never be cured!!

[Mir]

True

but to be honset there is very little that medcine can cure

[Pike]

Mir, I asked a Russian doctor if, after a patient had died and an optopsy performed, he found that he had been giving the wrong treatment because of incorrect diagnosis.

He said, "Absolutely not.  All of my patients die from exactly what I had been treating them for."