Seeking a bit of an advice

[Turboguy]

Andrewfin,

So then when we write that first letter we should not worry so much about telling the gals a little about the type of person we are and the things we enjoy we should talk more about our income and stock holdings and the real estate we own and perhaps send along a financial statement.  Instead of sending a few photos that show what we look like we should send a photo of our house and our boat (think there is a joke about that one)  and of course our car. 

Fill me in since you must think I am clueless anyway.  When we are talking mundane and average and all that drivel.   You are breaking it down to the essential part being income.   You are not talking about someone being average in looks or intelligence or personallity or temprament,  totally the world of the Russian woman is revolving around money,  Right?

I will agree with you that poverty and prosperity are relative.   No matter how much you have there is always someone with more, (unless you are Bill Gates).   You seem to feel these gals will trade up at the drop of a hat.  I have only had two fsu women that moved here that I knew really well.   Both were very dedicated to their husbands.  Both had their marriages end, both ended up struggling just to survive and working in low paying jobs.  (if you call $ 16.00 an hour low paying, but it is where she is).  

jb, you said I understood Andrew's post perfectly, and I agree with him, money and a better life style are indeed the prime motovators. You'd have to be smoking crack not to understand this.

Personally, I don't agree.  I don't think it is money and a better life style.   I think it is a better husband and a better life.   A better husband might be one that takes responsibilty for his wife and family and does not spend his evenings drinking beer with his buddies down in the park.  A better life may in part be a better and fancier home but I think it includes many of the other things we think of as part of life in America.   I personally think if the two of you are compatible,  you give her the love and attention she wants and you give her a reasonably nice life you will be fine. 

jb, you seem to be unusually money oriented yourself.   I have friends that are very rich and ones that struggle just to survive.    You feel the rich survive and the poor fail or can't even try.   I look at my friend Mike who I talked about earlier who leads a very normal life and will likely be starting the K-1 process in a few weeks, then I look at my other friend who's approach to meeting Russian women is a lot like I talked about a few paragraphs ago.  He takes a photo book with him showing his estates, (with the servants quarters) his antique car collection, his boat, his plane, his Rolls Royce, his orchards etc.   I do like the guy, but where is he in his quest for a wife? just back from a romance tour in Ukraine, empty handed again?

[jb]

before she sees any pictures or profiles, the economic factor is foremost in her mind.

BINGO~!

When you question or poll a group of young FSU women about desired age differences, they all state thay would prefer a man close to their own age.  They consider 10 years too much.
Why then do suppose that young hottie from the agency is happily clinging to the arm of a 50 y.o.?  This reminds me of the old joke about why is the bride always smiling at the wedding; because she knows she has given her last BJ.

Sometimes the answers to these questions are too obvious.

[Bruno]

Ste,

Your post is perfect but really, what differt foreign dating to local dating in reference to the money... nothing... each woman in these world wish find a better situation... several woman, not all, same in USA marry someone for the potential better situation...

Now, think that woman are only fixed to the wallet is something wrong... how much young RW complain to me to only old rich guys write to them... of course, they ask rich man but they don't understand that a few only are birth rich... several American are rich now because they have work very hard during all the life... the only problem is they are older now... so woman are following a dream that they cannot reach... young, sexy , rich men are not easy to find... and usually, these men have all they wish locally...

So become a time when the RW become more old, not one time married... and they understand that they was following a dream... and it is in this time that common people have his chance...

And about RW wishing marry rich American, since some time, you have not a lot... they become more selective, more difficult and not so deseperate... they can write : not from America, a age range around own age, not black, not muslim, not fat, ... now, they know what they wish... a husband... more the situation become better inFSU, more woman go choice a man they like and not one for quit the bad situation of her country...

Several woman use internet like a alternative dating method but they have no already make the decision to marry a foreign man...

In my case, when i say that i was married before with a RW who have child... they don't ask me what i earn for money but how i was like father, it seem that they have some interest in this... they ask why the relation have stop...

Really, if you have not the quality the RW search, same if you have all the money of the world, you have no chance to marry a RW... money is a helper but not the main reason for the woman... only if they have two identical guys, they go choice the rich one...

[Turboguy]

Also i was thinking about Andrews money-motivation thesis, and again, no
Also I often wonder if the guys put in their profiles 'I want to move to FSU to live there' how many responses they would get, and the type of girl that would respond. Would be interesting.

I think to rise above Andrew's average you have put more effort into this then just taking a few trips. There's her language to learn, literature to read, the possibility of moving there if she doesn't want/can't come to you.


Ste

Ste,  That would be like a dream come true for my gal.   The biggest obsticle I had to over come is that she really did not want to leave Russia.   I have told her that if the interview is not sucessful and she can't get a visa, I will move to Russia to be with her.   I really put at least a few minutes thought into the idea she might blow the visa interview intentally.  When I am with her we joke a lot that since I know very little Russian, if I have to move there the choice of jobs will be ditch digger or street sweeper.   We walk around and see someone digging a ditch and we joke that I should ask if they are hiring.

The last fight we had.  (the friendly kind of fight) was over housing.   She just doesn't understand why anyone would prefer living in a house over an apartment and why you need more than two or three rooms.  

[jb]

She just doesn't understand why anyone would prefer living in a house over an apartment and why you need more than two or three rooms.

Just give her a couple of years, believe me, that will change...

[Ste]

Ste,

Your post is perfect but really, what differt foreign dating to local dating in reference to the money... nothing... each woman in these world wish find a better situation... several woman, not all, same in USA marry someone for the potential better situation...

Well my opinion is local dating is based first on some physical attraction - undeniably it's the initial link. I rememebr a BBC programme on TV that had men and woman in a pub/club/dating enviroment and attached eye tracking devices to men and women, too see where they looked first. Men looked at the womans breasts first, face, down to hips and crotch, back to breasts. Women looked at face then crotch. It's only human nature we mostly do it subconsciously anyway.

With non-local dating things are littled skewed - the attraction comes I think from words, and a little bit from photo - we all know some people look better in pictures then others but I'm sure it's the words. Then of course the physical atrraction is either there or not their on meeting - it's pot luck really!

Of course i keep saying nothing is 100% - there are lots of exceptions. It's just I feel a woman from a country with a lower standard of living than here in the West, registering with an INTERNATIONAL dating or marriage agency, is mostly likely to be considering economic factors. In tandem with all the other desires too, don't get me wrong, few are so single minded although we've all seen tales relating to such women.

Only my humble opinion, I've never used a dating agency ever, and my involvement with Nadia is a total, complete and fortutious accident of fate for which I am eternally grateful! Also I prefer Russia to here, I am so anti-PC - drives me up the wall!

Thanks for the reply Bruno, I do like ur posts, the contain a lot of dignity.  I like jb's too, cos they hit the nail right squarely on the head! It's good we have much varieties in posting styles!

Ste

[BC]

Only my humble opinion, I've never used a dating agency ever, and my involvement with Nadia is a total, complete and fortutious accident of fate for which I am eternally grateful!

Same here. Looks like the club is growing..

[Turboguy]

It all just came together for me.

jb, you have been trying to educate me, along with the rest of the world.  I just put it all together and it makes a lot of sense.

When we were talking about the negative comments you make (and andrewfin as well as a few others)  I had said that ususally when people do that it is because they have a low self esteem and they are trying to make themselves feel good by ripping others down to their level.

Now in this new discussion about money you have said that basically for a Russian woman, money, status and living conditions are everything and if you can't give that to your Russian gal she will move on to someone else who can.

What you are saying when you say this is that you see yourself as having no worth as a person what-so-ever, just whatever cash value you have.   That any thoughts, love, affection, attention, caring, nuturing, and all is worthless that you are the sum total of the balance in your checking account, no more, no less.   You have already mentioned a financial reversal so if that is all you are and that is not what it was, you DO have a low self esteem and all those negative comments are to do exactly what I said.

jb, get over it.  You ARE a good person.  you have a wealth of knowlege, your wife loves you for you.   No one would put up with you for just money.   You are a great guy and could be even better if you let yourself. 

Andrewfin,  well, never mind.

[jb]

T-Guy

Don't worry about my financial situation, the fact that I retired a few years early did not affect my life style.  I had always planned to retire at around 60 anyway.  If it happens a bit early, so what?  I'd guess my retirement income is about 80% of what I was doing before, and I still am able to do some consulting work on the side which more than makes up the difference.

By "average" standards, I'm still quite comfortable.  Thank you, however for your concern.

Regards what I said about a 50'ish man's pocket book, and his relative attractiveness. If you think the MOB 20's something hottie isn't interested in moving up in the world then you are the one living in a dream world.  Remember, I didn't marry a MOB girl.  You are the one doing that.

[KenC]

OK Dr. Frued, oops, I mean Dr. Turbo,

Your comments about jb are so far off I laughed when I read them.  There is nothing wrong with jb or his self esteem.  He is a plain speaking, confident and opinionated man with experience.  I would much rather hear his views than any of the arse kissing PC mamby pamby guys that seem to try and dominate this forum.  This group seems to have their heads in the clouds (or up their own arses)  and view this process with rose colored glasses but even more importantly have yet to actually experience much.  Forgive me for not kissing your arse while I tell you that that group includes you too.  Anyone, and I mean anyone, can romance the hell out of a R/W in the fsu.  Bring her back here and remain happily married for 4 years, like jb, and then get back to me.

Your comment regarding the motivation of R/W to marry A/M is way off too:

I don't think it is money and a better life style

Huh?  You're kidding, right?  If you're not, then you are delusional.  Money and better lifestyle are the deciding factor to even consider a marriage to an American.  And I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing either.  It is human nature.  Men are attracted to good looking women and women are attracted to good providers.  Hopefully there are other criteria involved in the selection process, but they all come second after the initial needs are met.

KenC

[Bruno]

Hopefully there are other criteria involved in the selection process, but they all come second after the initial needs are met.

The initial need is a strong sexy young lover... several old and not so old western man are impotent... so, it is the first thing tested... they need a reproductor for her futur child... more he is in good shape, more chance that the future child will be healthy...

And after the first passionate night, when you are sleeping, they control the wallet... now that she know that you can make child, she check if you can provide money for the grow of child...

Of course, some woman marry a provider and make the child with the lover... the genitor and the father are not always the same...

Since it is not enough rich people on the earth... only the very young bimbo with a great libido are hunting the rich people... Other woman, a little more old, no fully perfect physically, with already some child,... are enough realist to understand that they have no the same chance that the young cutie... so in place of search a rich, they search a financial secure who can be a good husband and father... so you have woman for everybody...

And i have adapt my hunting strategie to this now... i don't reply anymore to woman below 32 y.o. ... i have write to woman around my age and more old... and i can say that in FSU, you have several who are very beautiful, same over 40 year old... Since myself, i become more old, i don't see me anymore with a young woman from 18 y.o.

[Turboguy]

Ken,  Thanks for your comments.   Do I really think jb has low self esteem.   No, I just thought that fit together and was funny.  jb is just fun to argue with.   He is almost as hard headed as my fiancee.  It gets me in practice for when she is here.

It is funny, you talk about a 4 year marriage as "Success"   A 4 year marriage to an American woman is one that is still in the honeymoon stage almost.   I am not knocking it or saying it is not an achievement.   The two FSU women I know best that are now in the USA could not keep their marriages going for much over a year.

 When I said  "I don't think it is money and a better life style" I followed that with "I think it is a better husband and a better life. "   A better life can include money and life style.  I may be delusional but if I am dumb, it is not THAT dumb.   If all they wanted was money and life style, tell my why they would even worry about what the person was like.   Maybe we can start a whole new way of meeting FSU women and have an income or net worth auction.   "We have Irina here,  Irena is 22 with a large chest and great cheekbones.  She has a phd in astrophysic's   We shall start the bidding at a net worth of one million,  yes, I have a million over there, do I have a million 5,  ...........

I am not saying money and life style is not a factor.   Personally I don't think Clydes bride to be will marry him for money and life style.  I am sure Clyde does fine.  I think she wants a good husband and a good father for her son and a better life.   I don't think Doug's gal is out for money, and I don't really think mine is.   You guys are saying it is the be all and the end all and I am just saying it is an important factor.

As far as coming back in 4 years and seeing if my gal and I are still together I really don't feel like I need to prove anything to you but if we are not, it will not be because of money. 

It is an interesting thread.   It is someone else's turn now.

 Dr Turbo, the arse kissing PC mamby pamby guy with his head in the clouds (or up his own arse)  viewing this process with rose colored glasses.

[KenC]

[user=16]Bruno[/user] wrote:

The initial need is a strong sexy young lover...

This is absolute hogwash!  There are plenty of young viril R/M.

several old and not so old western man are impotent... so, it is the first thing tested...

Wrong again, Bruno.  With viagra even Bob Dole is good for a night of hot passion.  And in most peoples lives, your's may be different, good sex is not the first matter of priority.

they need a reproductor for her futur child... more he is in good shape, more chance that the future child will be healthy...

Where on earth do you get these ideas?  Are you saying that an older man can not father a healty child?  That is crazy. 

And after the first passionate night, when you are sleeping, they control the wallet... now that she know that you can make child, she check if you can provide money for the grow of child...

You are again confused here, Bruno.  First of all, most people know their sexual partners a little better than you seem to.  Like their names to start.  I think your confusion has led you to some very bad choices.  Start thinking with your big head, Bruno and seek women that don't think with their groins also.

Of course, some woman marry a provider and make the child with the lover... the genitor and the father are not always the same...

This thinking is not from another country, but another planet.  Maybe you need to cut back on watching those soap operas.

Since it is not enough rich people on the earth... only the very young bimbo with a great libido are hunting the rich people...

Only "Bimbos" seek a good provider? You just said above that the older guys can't perfom.  So why would a woman with a great libedo seek them out?   More intergalactical thinking. 


And i have adapt my hunting strategie to this now...

To what?  This confusing and illogical thinking?  You have had bad past experiences and are headed for more.

KenC

[Turboguy]

  I would much rather hear his views than any of the arse kissing PC mamby pamby guys that seem to try and dominate this forum.  This group seems to have their heads in the clouds (or up their own arses)  and view this process with rose colored glasses but even more importantly have yet to actually experience much. 

As far as trying to dominate this forum  I have 485 posts and jb has 875 or so. 

What this is really boiling down to Ken is that you and jb have very little respect for Russian and FSU women and I have a lot of respect for them

When you say things like you two are saying, you are saying that FSU women are totally users just out for the money and lifestyle.  That they don't give a hoot for their husband or his feelings and just want to be rich.   That American men should just accept this and break out thier checkbook and be happy to pay big time for the satisfaction of having a beautiful sexy woman at their side and in their bed. 

I am saying they want a husband who will make them an importnat part of thier life, who will be a good husband and not be down in the park with his buddies every night getting drunk.   They want a comfortable home without worrying about money.  In some cases they want a good man to make a family with, someone who will be there as the child or children grow.    Someone who will take the responsiblity to watch over them and provide for them.  Someone who will treat them with respect.  They want to have a life with some enjoyment, possibly some travel, some security and someone who will enable them to feel good about themselves and their life (which includes things like cars and houses)

Frankly I think if I thought all I amounted to was a checkbook I would prefer to stay single.   Perhaps Russian gals are as shallow and lecherous as you seem to feel they are.   Frankly I think if that is how jb feels about Russian gals he otta quit beating his chest about making it through 4 years of marriage and perhaps get a puppy,  someone that will really love him just for a few kind gestures and a little food on the plate.

[KenC]

Turbo,

Thanks for taking my post in the spirit it was meant to be.  Look, I am more on your side than not, but I think you have your gf's priorities in a different order than I see it.  I think we all have minimums set in our brains.  The guys have a minmum beauty criteria and the women have a minimum "ability to provide" quotient in theirs.  If you fit into that broad catagory that is acceptable to her, then all the other factors come into play.  Same is true of the reverse.

You posted on the subject of income:

You guys are saying it is the be all and the end all and I am just saying it is an important factor.

I never said that.  It may be the initial reason, but then other factors hopefully kick in.  With scammers, it is the only reason.

As far as coming back in 4 years and seeing if my gal and I are still together I really don't feel like I need to prove anything to you but if we are not, it will not be because of money. 

I hope for the best for you, but you really have no idea at this point.  You are entering into a very risky relationship due to the huge age difference.  I thought I was nuts and I still am quite a bit closer to my wife's age than you are to your gf.  You have miles to go before you match jb's or my years of being happily married.  Maybe you should listen, just a bit to what we have to say on this subject.

KenC

[KenC]

[user=54]Turboguy[/user] wrote:

What this is really boiling down to Ken is that you and jb have very little respect for Russian and FSU women and I have a lot of respect for them

You are so far off with this statement.  Both of us have great respect for Russian women.  They have many many attributes, that I don't think I need to go into to, but the one single compliment that would best describe Russian women is that they are survivors.  No matter what obsticals are thrown at them, they overcome them and survive.

When you say things like you two are saying, you are saying that FSU women are totally users just out for the money and lifestyle.  That they don't give a hoot for their husband or his feelings and just want to be rich.  That American men should just accept this and break out thier checkbook and be happy to pay big time for the satisfaction of having a beautiful sexy woman at their side and in their bed. 

That is not what I said.  It is true of scammers though.


I am saying they want a husband who will make them an importnat part of thier life, who will be a good husband and not be down in the park with his buddies every night getting drunk.   They want a comfortable home without worrying about money.  In some cases they want a good man to make a family with, someone who will be there as the child or children grow.    Someone who will take the responsiblity to watch over them and provide for them.  Someone who will treat them with respect.  They want to have a life with some enjoyment, possibly some travel, some security and someone who will enable them to feel good about themselves and their life (which includes things like cars and houses)

All true as long as you fit the initial criteria of providing a better life.  Can you honestly tell me that your gf would be attracted to you, with your age difference, if you could only offer her a lifestyle similar to what she currently has?  Please keep in mind that I do not think that if the answer is "no" that I think it is a bad thing because how well a provder you are is a big part of who you are as a man.

KenC

[Photo Guy]

Now in this new discussion about money you have said that basically for a Russian woman, money, status and living conditions are everything and if you can't give that to your Russian gal she will move on to someone else who can.

What you are saying when you say this is that you see yourself as having no worth as a person what-so-ever, just whatever cash value you have.   That any thoughts, love, affection, attention, caring, nuturing, and all is worthless that you are the sum total of the balance in your checking account, no more, no less.   You have already mentioned a financial reversal so if that is all you are and that is not what it was, you DO have a low self esteem and all those negative comments are to do exactly what I said.

Turboguy, I think you hit the nail on the head.

[Photo Guy]

KenC,
Are you saying your wife married YOU for your money and lifestyle?
On her list of requirements, was that at the top? What about other considerations? If those things are extremely important to her, why wouldn't she look for a richer guy, now that she's in a place where she can look for them? She's young. She's sexy. How do we know, in advance, how loyal and devoted a RW will be?
(please respond without the loud bold yelling font)

By the way, how can a newbie tell the difference between a RW who is scamming for money, and RW who is marrying/scamming for money and lifestyle? The second version can be even worse than the first. To RW here at RWD:  I acknowledge that there are many nice RW out there, with decent value systems.

[Turboguy]

Thanks Photo Guy,

Ken,  for an arse kissing PC mamby pamby guy with his head in the clouds (or up his own arse)  viewing this process with rose colored glasses I took your post just fine.  

Maybe your statements about FSU women were not what you meant but that was what you and jb said and it definately implys you have a very low opinion of FSU women.

You said we have minimum standards of beauty.   Bull, I think my gal is quite pretty but that is not that important to me.  When I made my trip to Meet Luda it was actually to write her off because something about her was just really hooking me and I had another gal from Donetsk that I was thinking about getting serious with.   Frankly the gal for Donetsk was pretty ugly.  She had a figure that would leave any guy who was a boob lover short.  She had absolutly non.   BUT, she was a really nice person.  Walking around Kiev we would see the babuskas in the stairs with their head down and their hand out.   She never walked past a one of them without giving them some change.  She was warm, romantic and really nice to talk to and be with.   Even though I have a lot of age difference now she was actaully 5 years younger than Luda. 

I made the trip to meet Luda with the idea that I wanted to be able to get her out of my mind and concentrate my efforts on the gal from Donetsk.   When I met Luda I knew why she drew me too her so much.   Yes for me, she is pretty and she has a nice figure but that is not any part of what attracts me.  It is the inner person, it is the sense of humor, the ways she is, the comfort I feel with her and the feeling that we belong together.  Maybe looks are everything to you but they are not to me.   

Ken, you said All true as long as you fit the initial criteria of providing a better life.  Can you honestly tell me that your gf would be attracted to you, with your age difference, if you could only offer her a lifestyle similar to what she currently has? 

All I can tell you is that would be her dream come true.  If I would move to Russia and get a little 2 or 3 room apartment and go to the black sea a couple of weeks a year she would be the happiest girl in the world.   She does not want to move to America.  She is only doing it to be with me.

 

[KenC]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

KenC,
Are you saying your wife married YOU for your money and lifestyle?

Never said that.

On her list of requirements, was that at the top?

Re-read my post, I speak about "minimum criteria".  People have all kinds of "minimums" set in their brain.  Some may not allow themselves to become attracted to other races or religions for example.

What about other considerations?

You really do need to pay more attention to what is written in posts you want to criticize.  I already covered that.

If those things are extremely important to her, why wouldn't she look for a richer guy, now that she's in a place where she can look for them? She's young. She's sexy. How do we know, in advance, how loyal and devoted a RW will be?

These comments are based on the faulty conclusion above due to your inability to understand what I wrote.  However, Lena did meet many an American guy that was richer and younger than I.  Maybe we all fit her minimum standards, but then, as I stated before, the other factors kicked in.  She was never close to becoming seriously involved with another American before me.

(please respond without the loud bold yelling font)

Don't like it?  Don't read it.  Or in your case, if you do choose to read it, try to understand it.

By the way, how can a newbie tell the difference between a RW who is scamming for money, and RW who is marrying/scamming for money and lifestyle?

First of all there is no difference between the two examples you posted.  A scammer will marry for money which in turn will provide a good lifestyle.  But the answer is none the less, they don't.

KenC

[Bruno]

Great, if i was following several of your advice, i was not without any kind of experience, good of bad... i am not rich, i am not a play-boy... it seem that you wish the woman only for you... what are you afraid, there is woman for everybody... and if you wish the younger one, don't worry, i have no more interest in these... Since you use the limit of 4 year for judge a relation succesful of not, i can say that i was successfull since i have stay 5 year married... a succesful experience is these who is working to the last of your days... and where the two partner are happy... a relation where the woman don't love his man but fear to show it because of the financial situation, of the presence of children of simple because a strong pre-nups are not success in my eyes... don't worry about me... take care of your own life, you don't know what trap the destiny have stay on your living path... yes, i have know one divorce after 5 year... but i think that several people here have already know one divorce or maybe more... of course, i am sure that everybody go use the usual excuse... AW are bad woman, it is not our own fault... really, i don't believe this... the same when a RW say that all RM are bad ....

 

 

[Photo Guy]

KenC,
Let me make it simpler for you. You have told us that RW are concerned about money and lifestyle. Are you saying that most RW first check those things to see if a particular guy is 'qualified', and then go on to see if they like his personality, and then fall in love?

I can understand the idea that material concerns are probably a factor with most RW, but doesn't the degree vary with each individual RW?

How should her material requirements affect our approach to her?
Give us something we can use. If you are open with your potential wife, won't it become clear to her what your lifestyle is like? For example I told Larisa my exact work schedule and MANY other details about my lifestyle. I'm sure that kind of exchange happens with most couples and if she can't ask questions that are important to her, then she's not too bright.

(Please do not use the bold font, it makes you look obnoxious, but if that is the way you want to present yourself....)

BTW, when you told Turboguy that he had his 'head up his arse',
do you realize that it makes you look like an extremely angry person? Why do you want to be perceived that way?

[KenC]

Bruno,

I never sited 4 years as a benchmark for success, but rather as 4 years more experienced than Turbo has.  I wish you the best, Bruno.  I really do.  I do think you need a better balance between your naturally romantic ways and logic though.  You need to take a more practial approach to this and stop wearing your heart on your shirt sleeve.  You are a good guy, Bruno, but if you don't change your ways, you will continue to make the wrong choices and be heartbroken again and again.

KenC

[KenC]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

KenC,
Let me make it simpler for you. You have told us that RW are concerned about money and lifestyle. Are you saying that most RW first check those things to see if a particular guy is 'qualified', and then go on to see if they like his personality, and then fall in love?

You are "qualified" by being an American.  They automatically assume that a better lifestyle comes included.

I can understand the idea that material concerns are probably a factor with most RW, but doesn't the degree vary with each individual RW?

Absolutely.

How should her material requirements affect our approach to her?
Give us something we can use.

You will not know her "material requirement" until you get to knwo her better and you may never really know her true intentions because you two cannot communicate directly because of the language barrier.  Some R/W, like our own Donna Pedro, are very explicit about their financial requirements.  I find that a little over the top, but it worked for her and her hubby

If you are open with your potential wife, won't it become clear to her what your lifestyle is like? For example I told Larisa my exact work schedule and MANY other details about my lifestyle.

It takes an awful lot of information to really get across what your lifestyle is without her actually living it.  I don't know if it is possible with her moving here.  There was a guy that posted a whole list of income and expense information that he gave to his R/W to dispell any misunderstandings.  It was great.  A simple example would be your income is $48K per year.  In a RW's mind, she will have $1K per week to spend.  She doesn't know about taxes, house payments, car payments and all the rest.  Even after explaining all that to her, you then have to some how relate that the $200 you have left over will be spent on gas and food, leaving little or nothing for spendable income.

I'm sure that kind of exchange happens with most couples and if she can't ask questions that are important to her, then she's not too bright.

In all honesty, I do not know if you can ever make a reasonable judgement on her intelligence as long as the two of you speak different languages.  Even after she aquires some limited English skills, how will you know if she just didn't understand your language or she is really dumb as a rock?

(Please do not use the bold font, it makes you look obnoxious, but if that is the way you want to present yourself....)

Sorry, I like it.

KenC

[Turboguy]

Ken, you said something about needing to read what you wrote before someone ansered you.   You and jb need to read what YOU write before you write again.  

For two pages of this discussion, you and jb were maintaining that money and lifestyle were EVERYTHING with a FSU woman.   and I was saying it was an important factor but not EVERYTHING.   NOW since I pointed out that it made you seem like you did not have a very high opinion of FSU women all of a sudden money and lifestyle are NOT everything and just in important factor  which is the opposite side of the arguement. 

Speaking of someone having thier head someplace.