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Author Topic: Time for some Humor!!  (Read 254992 times)

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Online BillyB

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Re: OSHA violations
« Reply #2700 on: January 03, 2018, 10:42:57 PM »
OSHA violations

Yeah, the guy on the bottom is not wearing hearing protection. Those skillsaws are noisy.

Offline ML

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Need to change name of Sports Teams
« Reply #2701 on: January 19, 2018, 10:06:36 PM »
This has been circulating for several years, but I still get a chuckle re-reading when someone sends it to me.

- - - - - - - - - - -

I agree with our Native American population. I am highly
insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins.

One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged.. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.

As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the Beavers (especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???

As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the "Foreskins" to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Washington DC.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online mhr7

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"We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." - Louis Brandeis

Online msmob

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2703 on: January 24, 2018, 05:56:14 AM »

Online msmob

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Re: Time for some HumoUr!!
« Reply #2704 on: January 24, 2018, 10:41:51 AM »
This has been an interesting few days for Russians - two videos went viral - resulting in sackings in one case and disciplinary action to the Air Cadets - rescinded after an outcry from t'other


the first - from an Air Cadet college in Ulyanovsk  - also in s. Russia



It spawned loads of copycat videos ..


With even Russian striptese artistes and women biathlon teams joining in ))

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/world-news/676606/Russian-air-cadets-strippers-support-viral-trend-raunchy-pilots-Benny-Benussi-video



The second is from the Ministry of Forestry in Orenburg - southern Russia - a tongue in cheek video on how to attract foreign visitors ..


« Last Edit: January 24, 2018, 11:01:59 AM by msmob »

Online msmob

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Re: Time for some HumoUr!!
« Reply #2705 on: January 25, 2018, 03:37:42 PM »
Think about it ..


Offline ML

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2706 on: January 29, 2018, 12:59:14 PM »
Before I married, my parents were always after me to get married.

But my mother was never happy with the women I brought home.
Too short, too tall, to heavy, too skinny, too loud, too quiet, etc., etc.
Finally I brought home a woman who looked and acted exactly like my mother.

My father objected to her.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online 2tallbill

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2707 on: January 30, 2018, 08:31:08 AM »
This gal is from Siberia,

I don't know if she is super talented
or if she's totally lost her mind!
It's gotta be a combination of both.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2018, 08:54:56 AM by 2tallbill »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2708 on: January 31, 2018, 06:34:08 AM »
Quite a performance. The instrument she's playing (vargan) is also used elsewhere in folk music as changu in India, kubing in the Philippines, khomus in Turkey. A musician playing it appears in a Chinese drawing of IV century BC.

It is well-known in Italy as scacciapensieri ("dispeller of worries"), more specifically marranzanu in Sicily, malarruni in Calabria, trunfa in Sardinia.



Milan's "Duomo"

Online jone

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2709 on: January 31, 2018, 11:03:06 AM »
Quite a performance. The instrument she's playing (vargan) is also used elsewhere in folk music as changu in India, kubing in the Philippines, khomus in Turkey. A musician playing it appears in a Chinese drawing of IV century BC.

It is well-known in Italy as scacciapensieri ("dispeller of worries"), more specifically marranzanu in Sicily, malarruni in Calabria, trunfa in Sardinia.




In the US, for unknown reasons (and I'm not sure if this has any racial overtones) it is called a Jew's Harp.
Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn at no other - Benjamin Franklin

Online jone

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2710 on: January 31, 2018, 11:06:42 AM »
On the same line of thought:  I'll bet that gal will need serious dental reconstruction as she ages.  Those instruments create heavy vibration in your mouth and teeth.
Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn at no other - Benjamin Franklin

Online jone

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2711 on: January 31, 2018, 11:17:43 AM »
More history:

History of the name "Jew's Harp"
Very little early history is available.

The Jew's harp is known world-wide by many different names, depending on the country of origin.
Some examples are:

England - Gewgaw
Germany - Maultrommel (which means mouth drum)
Japan - Koukin
Russia - Vargan
Siberia - Khomus
Philippines - Kumbing and kubing
Italy - Scacciapensieri
Norway - munnharpa or munnharpe
France - guimbarde
Bali - genggong

Musicologist Phons Bakx of the Netherlands has compiled the nomenclature
of over thousand names  for the Jew's harp from all over the world.
See:  http://www.antropodium.nl/Duizend Namen Mhp.htm
Experience keeps a dear school but fools will learn at no other - Benjamin Franklin

Online mhr7

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2712 on: January 31, 2018, 11:32:23 AM »
I've always known it as a mouth harp.
"We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." - Louis Brandeis

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2713 on: January 31, 2018, 11:42:48 AM »
Apart from the Jew's appellation - whatever its reason - it is also curious that the English-speaking world should call harp a musical instrument with no strings at all ;D.
Milan's "Duomo"

Offline ML

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My Camper is Bigger than yours !!
« Reply #2714 on: February 18, 2018, 12:41:52 PM »
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online mhr7

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2715 on: February 19, 2018, 02:27:48 PM »
Farting Passenger Forces Plane To Make Emergency Landing

Quote
A flight from Dubai to Amsterdam had to make an emergency landing in Vienna after a fight broke out because one of the passengers wouldn’t stop breaking wind.

The fart-induced fracas happened Feb. 11 aboard Transavia Airlines Flight HV6902 when two men sitting next to an apparently very flatulent man raised a stink about his repeated gas attacks, according to Fox News.

When the alleged perpetrator didn’t stop, his disgusted seatmates reportedly complained to the airline crew, who apparently did nothing.

http://www.yahoo.com/news/farting-passenger-forces-plane-emergency-185237663.html
"We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both." - Louis Brandeis

Offline SANDRO43

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2716 on: February 19, 2018, 05:21:22 PM »
Quote
When the alleged perpetrator didn’t stop, his disgusted seatmates reportedly complained to the airline crew, who apparently did nothing.
Airlines have - or used to have - ear plugs for passengers, but I am not sure they ever had bum plugs as well ;D.
Milan's "Duomo"

Online msmob

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Re: My Camper is Bigger than yours !!
« Reply #2717 on: March 06, 2018, 03:44:14 AM »

Online tfcrew

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2718 on: March 06, 2018, 09:07:16 PM »
Farting Passenger Forces Plane To Make Emergency Landing

http://www.yahoo.com/news/farting-passenger-forces-plane-emergency-185237663.html
Flying has become a scary en-devour...
Quote
An “unruly” airline passenger with a God complex had to be restrained by other travelers when she tried to open the cabin door while the plane was mid-flight, officials said.
“I am God! I am God! I am God!” the woman shouted aboard the SkyWest Airlines flight from San Francisco to Boise, Idaho, on Monday, moments after she attempted to open the door, CBS News reported.
http://nypost.com/2018/03/06/plane-passengers-restrain-traveler-from-hell-claiming-to-be-god/

Also from the post...
Mother claims she was kicked off flight because her baby spit upNaked passenger watched porn, attacked crew during flightCrazed passenger allegedly attacks woman, calls baby a 'little slutUnruly passenger tries to fight airport workers on tarmac

Offline ML

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Tool enhancer
« Reply #2719 on: March 24, 2018, 08:21:08 PM »
Be Careful what you buy on eBAY

If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully.
 
A friend, from Florida, spent $95. plus postage on a penis enlarger.
 
Bastards sent him a magnifying glass.
 
The only instructions said "Do not use in direct sunlight"
 
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online tfcrew

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2720 on: April 06, 2018, 06:13:53 PM »

Online DaveNY

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2721 on: April 16, 2018, 05:25:53 PM »
A real live Russian brown bear, with big claws, opens a soccer game in Russia. The ref takes the soccer ball from the bear's very big claws. Brave ref. 

http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/trained-bear-opened-russian-soccer-game-not-180629169.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=88&v=QJ5dILhLvXs

Online 2tallbill

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2722 on: July 04, 2018, 05:49:57 PM »
FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Offline ML

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2723 on: August 04, 2018, 05:48:32 PM »
Talk show host:  How many erotic areas are there on a woman's body to be kissed?  Let's ask the men sitting in first row.
First man:  3
Frenchman in back yells out:  9
Second man in first row:  2
Frenchman yells out again:  9
Third man in first row:  4
Frenchman repeats:  9

Host:  OK, now let's ask some  women same question.

First woman:  1
Host: And where is that?
Woman:  My mouth.

Frenchman yells out:  OK, 10.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online krimster2

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Re: Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2724 on: August 04, 2018, 05:51:49 PM »
are you sure he wasn't German and saying no, nein?
вы думаете, что любой из этих людей, даже российских, подозревает, что я русский?

вот как я могу создать американскую личность
Я могу взять напрокат

 

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