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Author Topic: Time for some Humor!!  (Read 282141 times)

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Online Gator

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2850 on: April 29, 2019, 11:48:19 AM »
Famous quotes:

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.  Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.”

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”

"Women might be able to fake orgasms.  But men can fake a whole relationship.”

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”

"Bigamy is having one wife too many.  Monogamy is the same.”





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« Reply #2851 on: April 29, 2019, 02:04:31 PM »
Famous quotes:

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.  Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500.”



))

No woman of mne would prefer a Jag over a souped up Stuttgart Taxi ;)
No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

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« Reply #2852 on: May 03, 2019, 03:57:54 PM »
                               The Big Dog
Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.  -Aldous Huxley

Online 2tallbill

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« Reply #2853 on: May 04, 2019, 11:47:59 AM »
"Bigamy is having one wife too many.  Monogamy is the same.”

That was Oscar Wilde

Some others by him

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken <<< My favorite

You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their <<< next favorite
fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.

Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

I can resist everything except temptation.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment
is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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« Reply #2854 on: May 06, 2019, 01:33:12 PM »
Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.  -Aldous Huxley

Offline GQBlues

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2855 on: June 28, 2019, 07:52:08 PM »
Well, I for one, am glad Democrat Joe Biden is back in the limelight. Matter of fact I’m very happy he actually is the front runner of the Democrats’ list of hopefuls. So when the debate was held last night, the Biden we know so well made his presence known to everyone. 

Moderator Chuck Todd: “If you’re elected as president, what will be your first action from the Oval Office?”

Joe Biden: “"The first thing I would do is make sure that we defeat Donald Trump. Period,"

LMAO!  :devil:  You just gotta love these Democrats!
~1. Because of 'man', global warming is causing desert and arid areas to suffer long, dry spell.
2. The 2018 Camp Fire and Woolsey California wildfires are forests burning because of global warming
~

msmob  (Yes, he really said these)

Online calmissile

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« Reply #2856 on: June 28, 2019, 10:37:22 PM »
Well, I for one, am glad Democrat Joe Biden is back in the limelight. Matter of fact I’m very happy he actually is the front runner of the Democrats’ list of hopefuls. So when the debate was held last night, the Biden we know so well made his presence known to everyone. 

Moderator Chuck Todd: “If you’re elected as president, what will be your first action from the Oval Office?”

Joe Biden: “"The first thing I would do is make sure that we defeat Donald Trump. Period,"

LMAO!  :devil:  You just gotta love these Democrats!

That really is a great quote.  :)
Doug (Calmissile)

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« Reply #2857 on: July 20, 2019, 07:58:47 PM »
Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.  -Aldous Huxley

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« Reply #2858 on: July 29, 2019, 10:30:00 AM »














FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

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« Reply #2859 on: July 29, 2019, 10:58:19 AM »
The last one....Your..or is it Russia's..(?) S.Segal might not agree)
No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Online 2tallbill

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« Reply #2860 on: July 29, 2019, 11:10:38 AM »









FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online msmob

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2861 on: July 31, 2019, 09:47:21 AM »


I don't know if the original is Russian - but I found it on RU social media ..



No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline Grumpy

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2862 on: August 06, 2019, 09:57:46 AM »
Good women are not cheap
Cheap women are not good
(but they can be a lot of fun)

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2863 on: August 10, 2019, 08:53:17 PM »
Internet of crapola
Good women are not cheap
Cheap women are not good
(but they can be a lot of fun)

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« Reply #2864 on: August 15, 2019, 07:10:40 AM »
Thank the Lord for cartoons like that, as far as I'm concerned;)
No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

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« Reply #2865 on: August 16, 2019, 10:30:24 AM »
So--How do fish get high?........Seaweed.
***********************************
He was making out with this girl on the sofa when she said-- "let's  take this upstairs"...He said "OK I'll get this end and you can grab the other"
***********************************

Did you hear the one about the roof? Probably over your head anyway.
***********************************
  California-------
  Do you know what was happening 169 years ago this fall... back in 1850?
California became a state.
 The people had no electricity.
 The state had no money.
 Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
 There were gunfights in the streets. 
So basically nothing has changed except the women had real tits and the men didn't hold hands.

*****************************************
 How is California like a bowl of cereal?   It's filled with nuts, fruits, and flakes.
******************************************
 The woman yelled at her husband in anger: “You slimy disrespectful pig! How dare you do this to me!? I’m the mother of your children, and I’ve been faithful to you all these years! I want a divorce now!”
 The husband answered: “Wait a second my love, let me at least explain what happened.”
 “All right, let’s hear what you have to say for yourself,” answered the wife waiting to see just how her husband would try to talk his way out of this one, “but these are your last words.”
 Her husband started recalling: “today when I left work and got in my car to head home and this woman asked me for a ride.”
 “I noticed that she was very skinny and wearing worn out clothes covered in muck and mud. She told me she hadn’t eaten in three days.”
 “So I took pity on her and let her into the car.”
 “In my mercy for her, instead of taking her straight to where she needed to go, I brought her home first and warmed her up a plate of goulash, the same plate I made for you last night which you didn’t eat claiming you’d ‘get fat’.”
 “She devoured it in seconds.”
 “Since she needed to get clean, I offered to let her use our shower.”
 “While she showered, I noticed that her clothes were very dirty and worn, so I threw them out. She needed new clothes so I brought her the old jeans you no longer wear because they’re ‘too tight’.”
 “I also gave her some underwear I bought you that you didn’t wear because ‘I don’t have good taste in clothes’.”
 “I found the shirt my mom bought you for Christmas that you didn’t wear to ‘piss her off’. And I gave her the high heels you only wore once because ‘someone at work had the same pair’.”
 The husband took a deep breath and continued…
 “She was so grateful for my understanding and help. When I walked her to the door she turned around with tears in her eyes and asked…”
 “You’re such a great person! Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use?”
 
Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.  -Aldous Huxley

Offline ML

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« Reply #2866 on: August 16, 2019, 12:42:23 PM »

He was making out with this girl on the sofa when she said-- "let's  take this upstairs"...He said "OK I'll get this end and you can grab the other"
***********************************

I like it.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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« Reply #2867 on: August 17, 2019, 09:40:36 AM »
Taking a dog named Shark to the beach? ...Not a good idea.
************************************************
A cable company truck pulled up and the driver asks 'Say, do you know what time it is?' ---
Answer was "Oh between 8AM and 1PM"   :-\
*************************************************
A guy was arrested for sitting in the park..not doing a thing.
The charge was ~Impersonating a Politician~
**************************************************
Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.  -Aldous Huxley

Offline ML

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« Reply #2868 on: August 17, 2019, 11:47:07 AM »

A guy was arrested for sitting in the park..not doing a thing.
The charge was ~Impersonating a Politician~
**************************************************

Actually we are best served if they do nothing.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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« Reply #2869 on: August 17, 2019, 12:11:32 PM »
Phil Hartman was one of my favorites. This clip had them in stitches---

Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.  -Aldous Huxley

Offline ML

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« Reply #2870 on: September 01, 2019, 09:45:36 PM »
Remember when we used to have to pay to go into tent at carnival to see a fat lady with tatoos?

Free at last.  Thank God it is free at last.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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« Reply #2871 on: September 14, 2019, 12:33:41 PM »



FSUW are not for entry level daters
FSUW don't do vague
FSUW like a man of action. Be a man of action 
If you find a promising girl, get your butt on a plane.
There are a hundred ways to be successful and a thousand ways to f#ck it up
Kiss the girl, don't ask her first.

Online msmob

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« Reply #2872 on: September 21, 2019, 12:08:19 AM »
Humorous,

but true ..

(US) Runner completes 'wrong' Worcester half marathon

"A runner who accidentally signed up to the wrong half marathon completed the race distance on the same day - just on the other side of the Atlantic.

Sheila Pereira booked a place at the Worcester City Half Marathon, thinking it was in her hometown of Worcester, Massachusetts.

But the event was 3,200 miles away in the English city of the same name.

Undeterred, Ms Pereira ran 13.1 miles on her own in the US on the same day as the Worcestershire event.

She has been praised by UK organisers, who are sending her a race finisher's pack including a participation medal and T-shirt."


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-49740880

She's been invited to compete in future UK Worcester events ...

Amusing, but a happy ending



No to Brexit, Yes to a People's Vote on Brexit, THEN a General Election

Offline ML

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« Reply #2873 on: September 23, 2019, 12:20:46 PM »
Count the number of objects in the picture.

Now, for the hard part . . . find the camel.
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

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« Reply #2874 on: September 30, 2019, 05:11:01 PM »
Facts do not cease to exist just because they are ignored.  -Aldous Huxley

 

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