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Author Topic: Time for some Humor!!  (Read 278623 times)

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Offline GQBlues

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2875 on: October 10, 2019, 09:08:50 AM »
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh. He inquired, --- "Where have you been?"

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, ---- "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, ---- "What is it?"

"It's a planet," --- replied God, --- and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test 'Balance.'"

"Balance?" --- inquired Michael, ---- "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth..."For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor... Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things..."

God continued pointing to different countries... "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." 

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Florida, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful trees and gardens, it's surrounded by water, and days filled with sunshine. The people from Florida are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be 'balance.'"

God smiled an all-knowing smile… "I will create California…Wait till you see the idiots I'll put there."
~Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people~ Gator :P

Online jone

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2876 on: October 10, 2019, 10:40:51 AM »
I resemble those remarks.

 :tongueout:
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

Online Gator

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2877 on: October 10, 2019, 11:38:09 AM »
Living in Florida I agree.  The balance in manifested in other regards (e. g., God made California dry and Florida humid).   

Some of our politicians push my limits.  Remember Deborah Wasserman Schultz? 


We have our share of dregs here.  The dregs migrate southward along the Atlantic coast looking for work and fun.  Some find what they want and settle down.  Some are  rejected for not having work skills or worse, being batshit crazy, and they keep moving southward, eventually reaching Florida.   Once in Florida, some find what they seek and settle down.  Yet the worse continue to migrate southward,  eventually reaching Key West.    And there they stay.     

Offline tfcrew

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2878 on: Yesterday at 12:37:09 PM »
 What do you call a three legged donkey?
 
 A wonky donkey
 
 What do you call a three legged, one eyed donkey?
 
 A winky wonky donkey
 
 What do you call a three legged, one eyed donkey playing a piano?
 
 A plinky plonky winky wonky donkey
 
 What do you call a three legged, one eyed, piano playing donkey driving a tractor?
 
 Damn clever

Offline ML

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2879 on: Today at 10:45:10 AM »


God smiled an all-knowing smile… "I will create California…Wait till you see the idiots I'll put there."

I lived in Los Angeles for about 10 years . . . way back when.

It was somewhat jolting for a naive young man from the genteel Midwest.

Mostly I was struck by the seeming 'fakeness' of many people; not even speaking of Hollywood types.

For first time in my life, it seemed that many (most) were very insincere and would not do what they said they would.

Small example:  Car pool . . .  I come by your house on X days and you pick me up on Y days.  No show on their days.  Later explanation:  I just got up too late and had to hurry on to work.  I just forgot you.  I had other things to do before work.

One factor may have been that virtually no one seemed to be a native Californian when I was there.  We all came in from other states.  So I think many had the attitudes of . . . I don't really know and think of fellow workers and neighbors as people that I owe anything to and probably won't even be around for very long.

I don't really know the answer, but I think it tainted me somewhat and made me somewhat more cynical than I would have naturally been.

However, on the other hand, I was able to get university bachelor degree relatively much cheaper than in other states, and the booming economy allowed for rapid career advancement.

So who knows?  But I am certainly glad that I do not live there now!!!
Winston Churchill.  “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.”

Online jone

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Time for some Humor!!
« Reply #2880 on: Today at 10:51:54 AM »
I lived in Los Angeles for about 10 years . . . way back when.

It was somewhat jolting for a naive young man from the genteel Midwest.

Mostly I was struck by the seeming 'fakeness' of many people; not even speaking of Hollywood types.

For first time in my life, it seemed that many (most) were very insincere and would not do what they said they would.

Small example:  Car pool . . .  I come by your house on X days and you pick me up on Y days.  No show on their days.  Later explanation:  I just got up too late and had to hurry on to work.  I just forgot you.  I had other things to do before work.

One factor may have been that virtually no one seemed to be a native Californian when I was there.  We all came in from other states.  So I think many had the attitudes of . . . I don't really know and think of fellow workers and neighbors as people that I owe anything to and probably won't even be around for very long.

I don't really know the answer, but I think it tainted me somewhat and made me somewhat more cynical than I would have naturally been.

However, on the other hand, I was able to get university bachelor degree relatively much cheaper than in other states, and the booming economy allowed for rapid career advancement.

So who knows?  But I am certainly glad that I do not live there now!!!

Well, ML,

The good news is that if your friend forgets to pick you up on his car pool days, he gets a five hundred dollar fine for violating the car pool lane.   Either that or he gets stuck in traffic for two hours and gets fired from his job.

LOL
Kissing girls is a goodness.  It beats the hell out of card games.  - Robert Heinlein

 

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